There are many guides here on the redpill that are absolute master pieces. TRP is a sexual strategy forum and it is best to understand the consequences of sex, especially at a young age. This guide is based on my personal experience becoming a young father at 21 years old, having to mature/man up during the "rowdy" years, and some very valuable lessons.
I was dating my ex for about a year before I got a call: "my urine smells different & my breasts feel sore" I rushed to the pharmacy to get pregnancy tests and made her take all 3 in front of me. In 5 minutes we both flipped them over and there was a faint line - positive. It is a mix a joy, fear, despair, happiness, and emotions you can only experience when you find out. How she got pregnant? a naive teenage tier mistake with someone who was bent on getting knocked up and myself playing with fire not wrapping it up (did not find out she wanted to get pregnant until her first OB appointment) I had incorporated lifting, game, a decent income for a young buck, and focusing my mission into healthcare. My ex and I hit right off the bat uniting a couple years after high school. She was a popular all athletic girl that was easy to get along with but had some red flags that were not complete deal breakers. I mixed around in crowds and was fairly known as the funny guy respected by many & teachers alike. We both met in high school and dated for about 4 months before we drifted apart. She is 20 years old and im 21. We both co-parent while being civil and focusing on being the best parents for our daughter. My baby girl was born in January at 7 1/2 lbs.
- What to do when you hear "you are going to be a dad"
The minute you find out your girlfriend, FWB, or hook up is pregnant is the minute you need to spring into action. The very first thing is DO NOT PANIC I cannot stress this enough. You both are very young and absolutely scared - it is understandable. This is the time your frame needs to be harder than diamonds because your child's mother is going to transform into a person you never could imagine. Her maternal instinct and hormones are full pedal to the metal starting 2-4 weeks into the first trimester and months after birth. Depending on who you knock up - she cannot afford to fuck around, stay with broke loser chumps, and do nothing with her life. Her maternal instinct, support networks, and hormones are going to cause her to grow up so fast it will make your head spin (my personal experience, YMMV) As mentioned by the post "you got a stranger pregnant: a guide" pregnancy does indeed amplify whatever is wrong with your child's mother and will put huge spotlights on what type of crazy she is - know who you are dealing with.
- GET A PATERNITY TEST IF YOU HAVE THE SLIGHTEST DOUBT
I don't give a fuck if your girlfriend, hook up, cousin, etc... is the most loyal princess with your disneyland hat & glasses on fully - you need to get a DNA test. Let me hammer that into your head: YOU NEED TO GET A DNA TEST During both of your young years it is common to have casual sex, FWB, no strings attached, and so forth. I ended up finding out my ex cheated on me with 2 other men near the time of conception - the DNA test came back a few days after birth my daughter is mine. I feel much more relieved and happy knowing that I didn't get duped, even though I did not the possibility is still real guys - stay safe. My child's mother and many other baby mom's will definitely be angry when you ask for a DNA test and rightfully so - you are telling they are not trustworthy & calling them a cheater which lights their hamster on fire. Do not fall into the trap and stick to your guns. It is better to spend $375 and deal with a hormonal pissed off woman than 18 years of child support & dealing with a cunt whose kid even isn't yours. Do not sign any documentation and the birth certificate until you have DNA test results in your hand. If the DNA test comes back negative then GTFO as fast as you can - do not subject yourself to a circus because you are told to "man up and do what's right!" nope, you have no legal obligation to stick around. If the results are positive then accept the situation and love your baby - they need you & a male figure in their life. Do not be a deadbeat father and run off like a little bitch - the kid will resent you when it grows up and you will miss out on an amazing life experience.
During this time you will be shitting your pants no matter how prepared you are - kids are a big deal and life changers that push you into the darkness of the unknown. It is going to be a very emotional time for the both of you and a learning experience. Be humble, patient, and for the love of god GROW UP NOW. The very first thing you need to do is stop all the kid stuff you are used to doing. If you play video games to the point of consuming your time constantly, jack off constantly, have loser friends with no goals, waste your time on useless trivial shit, do drugs, drink a lot, party, or anything your peers do what is "high school/college norm" STOP IT NOW AND CLEAN UP HOUSE If you smoke, stop now. If you party constantly, stop now, If you chase pussy & jerk off all the time, stop now. If you spend money on things non-essential to you, your child, or your child's mother, STOP NOW. Your child's mother is counting on you to support her not only emotionally but financially and morally. Start putting away money (20-30% of each paycheck) now into a savings account ONLY to be used for your child. Besides your career, lifting, and money: this women is on the top of your priorities. This women is carrying your child and sacrificing her body to eventually deliver your baby. She will be bitchy, hormonal, irrational, sick, tired, hungry, in pain, sore, and so much more - be there for her. She needs your masculine frame & support to make her feel safe and loved as she progresses along in pregnancy. You have no idea how much your child can be impacted inside the womb with neglect, stress, and not giving a shit. Once you start feeling your baby kicking and see it on ultrasound it will make you realize how much you need to be there.
- TALK TO AN ATTORNEY IF SHIT HITS THE FAN
As we redpillers know: relationships aren't a Disney happily ever after fantasy. Just because you both have a kid does not mean you need to be together - you just need to get along and work together civilly like business partners. My ex and I split a few months before she gave birth. We had too many problems with trust, fighting (protip: never argue with a pregnant women), her young friends making her jealous with the CC lifestyle while she was settling, and many other factors. Pregnancy & children do one of the two in a relationship: MAKE OR BREAK. Sadly mine was break. She left me after a harsh past few nights and her friend trashing me to her. She showed up back to my apartment with her friend and dumped me right there. I had a terrible reaction and my frame was shattered into dust... im a single father now. Her friend and her laughed while stomping what remained of my frame. I did NC for a week and she eventually called me asking me if I am going to attend appointments & birth. Even if she dumps you: BE THERE. I was angry, upset, and very resentful but you need to put it to the side for your child. Yes your ex might go sleep around while she is carrying your child (disgusting I know, but a harsh reality), find another man, or simply move on. There is nothing you can do about it and no matter how you beg for it to work - it is best to move on & brace for your child's arrival. I begged, got angry, started arguments, and so much more for awhile before I realized it was useless. I went radio silent until I got the call she was in labor. While I waited for that call I spoke to a few lawyers I found on www.avvo.com and got legal advice.
This was my valuable redpill lesson - do not try try to get back with an ex even if there is a child involved. You both split for a reason whether she was a cunt, you were a bitch, or both just were not right for each other. IT DOES NOT MATTER AND LIFE GOES ON. If you go through a struggle like I did: seek out support groups for single parents, trusted family, and trusted friends. It is perfectly ok to vent and get help - do not just cry about it and play woe is me.. you will thank yourself later.
- YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS UNTIL THE CHILD IS BORN AND YOU ARE ESTABLISHED AS THE FATHER
Yup you heard it. Even if you are together or not - you have no rights what your child's mother does. She can skip town overnight before she pops and there is not a single thing you can do until that child is born. If you end up in my situation you need to hope for the best but plan for the worst. Luckily my child's mother wasn't vindictive despite an older fella coming in the picture as step father 4 weeks before she popped. Brace yourself for the unexpected and be ready to spring into action.
- EDUCATE YOURSELF AS A PARENT AND ABOUT PREGNANCY
Pregnancy is divided into 3 trimesters. Each trimester is unique with it's own characteristics (YMMV for every women) The first trimester is when she will start showing a little bit and hormones will be rampant - ride it out. She may have severe to mild morning sickness, be moody, her skin will begin to start glowing near the end, and other pregnancy characteristics. The second trimester is always the best (again, YMMV) as her hormones plateau and she will be somewhat normal. The third trimester is the absolute worst as sickness, tiredness, her lack of sleep due to discomfort, and so much more. The birth is the grand finale and nothing will prepare you for what you are going to see. You are going to witness the most gruesome and beautiful sight all at once as your baby comes out with her screaming bloody murder.
When you get the call or hear "my water broke" the next chapter page in your life begins to turn slowly until the new one starts by your child out of the womb. During this time you will need to have hospital essentials (bring clothes, personal care items, a camera, and a DNA test kit if required unless the hospital does it) Your child's mother will be in good hands of nurses, her OB, and doctors. All you need to do is be there for her as she gets closer to delivery. You will see your child's mother in severe pain, agony, and possibly the risk of death. This is the time your masculine energy is needed during her most vulnerable time. Once your baby comes out (c-section or vaginal) you will cut the umbilical cord and get to hold your baby. Nothing will prepare you for the feeling of holding your child for the first time, hearing it cry, and the look you & mom (even if you both hate each other beforehand) give each other when your baby is here. It is truly a time of love, joy, and the beginning of a new chapter into manhood. Depending on your child's mother you will be in the hospital typically 2-4 days. This is the time you need to get paternity test if you need one as you typically sign the birth certificate before discharge (hospitals vary) be smart and do not get sucked into signing documents.
- PARENTHOOD AND CONCLUSION
Once you get home from the hospital your child will remain with mom. There is no fighting it at all what so ever. Make sure to visit as much as you can and possibly make arrangements to stay for a week to help her out - she will need it. At home you both will not sleep, the baby will have the worst diapers to change, and other fun surprises of fatherhood. The good thing to remember is that it is all temporary and will get better as the baby gets adjusted to a schedule. Mom will be exhausted and possibly struggle with postpartum depression: be there for her & your child even if you are not together. Right now I am watching my daughter & her mother sleep peacefully as I type this guide out. Her "boyfriend" ended up leaving her right before birth and has not shown up since. I really could give two fucks about the guy and hope he stays away for awhile before showing his face.
In conclusion: wrap it up, know who you are dating/with, man up, and embrace a life changing experience. God bless.
Edit: mistakes and grammar.
Edit: Thank you to the kind stranger for gold.