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Red Pill TheoryMateguarding- Don't do it. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

TLDR Betas mateguard, Alphas disregard

There is a sad fucker who posted to askMRP yesterday. The guy snooped his wife's Facebook and saw some musclehead from the gym looking to "workout" with his wife. He confronted the guy and it blew up in his face.

I don't want to dwell on the OP and how he is crying himself to sleep with her wedding ring stashed in his mommy's safe. I'm not insensitive to the plight of Uberbetas (like yours truly several years ago), I just feel inspired by the sad tale to explain the proper way to mateguard.

YOU DON'T DO IT

Again:

Don't Mate guard

We talk alot at TRP about abundance and how women are innately attracted to a sturdy, non-needy frame. There is nothing that exemplifies needy like jealousy.

When you show your woman jealousy, you are covertly communicating that you are not the best she can do. It's pouring gasoline on the fires of hypergamy. You WILL be cheated on or lose that bitch.

So....CAD...how did you deal with a recent situation where Mrs CAD had tingles for her old boss Geoff?

I bit my lip and fought off the internal pain of "why does she want to go for drinks with hiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmm". I teased her mercilessly about her "fallback guy" and how cute it was that she had a puppylove crush. Said he was a super sweet guy and she should explore her opportunities. She fucking hated the overt talk about her "group outing" that I correctly relabeled a "drinks date with plausible deniability."

And she really hated my smug attitude about it.

She wanted me to quietly accept it (Fail!...Do not pass go.) Or create some delicious drama and out myself as a weak envious faggot.

Either way is express train to Cucksville.

No, instead... You dispassionately set some rules and enforce them.

Want to see your ex boyfriends? That's cool, I'll start seeing other people too.

Wanna workout with StealYourBitch Jones from the gym? I'll see that and raise by having three hour lunch with Jodi from marketing. The one you know wants my D..yup...her.

Who cares if she pouts and huffs and puffs that you are a "controlling asshole"?

.

If she thinks she can walk all over you...this relationship is doomed anyway.

Summary: She ain't yours, it's just your turn so don't mateguard and it will probably work out fine.


[–]sir_Preacher 63 points64 points  (7 children)

In any relationship, there is one partner who is more afraid to lose the other. Never be that partner.

The moment a woman realizes she can make you jealous, she know she has tremendous power over you.

Never show any sign of jealousy.
Never be afraid to lose her.
Always be willing to walk away.

[–]ManOfGrapes 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Let's be real, if you're doing it right, your bitch will be mateguarding you instead.

[–]KartagoPill 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Jealousy is powerful. I need to make it work for me.

[–]warjesus420 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Easy there bud, it may sound good but....I had a 3 year LTR who was kinda jealous in the beginning which yeah, made her all over me, which trust me gets really annoying after a while too, but the worst was near the end. She started getting bat shit crazy. Like grab the steering wheel on the highway and try to run us off the road crazy. If I was who I am today I woulda gotten out way before that but at the time I had only been with a handful of girls and she was a HB8 and while I wasn't full on beta I certainly hadn't taken the RP so I kept letting her get away with shit. It got even worse but I think I've made my point.

[–]LyricBaritone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have proper frame and SMV, it will work for you naturally through Dread Game. No need to manipulate it any further.

[–]Dustin_Bromain 314 points315 points  (129 children)

Excellent post. Recently, my LTR decided to call her ex-boyfriend right in front of me (they are both in the same friend group) and I politely waited for her to get off the phone; then proceeded to call my ex-hookup. Of course the girl answers, and my LTR freaks out and starts crying and apologizing for her short-sighted behavior. Tit for Tat bitch. Don't fucking disrespect me, or that'll be the last you see of me. I'm the one in control of this relationship.

[–][deleted]  (24 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (1 child)

    pretty clear cut. you tested what she values, she chose differently than you would.

    incompatable

    [–]robbiedigital001 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Good post, straight to the point.

    [–]Dustin_Bromain 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    You made the right decision. Why even be in a relationship with that girl when you both clearly want to do your own thing? Although, it doesn't sound like your LTR was very strong to begin with, to be honest.

    [–]Assassin1476 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Fuck yeah you did the right thing. What the guy's girl above who freaked out was level 1. Your girl tried to take it to level 2. The whole "if I talk to my ex and you talk to your ex, it's fine because we're both doing it so I'm not guilty of anything or being a whore" trick. That's lowkey manipulation on her end by trying to have her ex and you both at the same time without any guilt and hopefully getting you to do the same. Fuck that.

    [–]warjesus420 169 points170 points  (54 children)

    It's incredible how the second you lightly push back with a little "taste of your own medicine" they cough, choke, and die. Like bitch....the fuck did you think was going to happen? If you don't like it then....Sigh there I go trying to rationalize a woman's behavior again. At least I'm catching myself and stopping now.

    [–][deleted]  (13 children)

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      [–]Dustin_Bromain 45 points46 points  (5 children)

      This. LTR begged me to delete my ex-hookup's number. I was like... nahhhh. I'mma keep that shit in my phone for that good ol' dread game ~

      [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children)

      i once dated this crazy girl who was plotting on cheating yet would go thru my phone etc. one day when she was going thru my phone, i asked if i could go thru her phone and she BLEW UP. got ultra defensive and angry. lolz stupid hoe.

      [–]icecow 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      lolz. Then she continued to go through your phone and you never tried to look at hers again?

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      na i ended up leaving her in the cab and jumped in another cab #adios

      [–]warjesus420 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I can tell an almost verbatim story myself but she was cough "smart" and deleted every text ever in her phone always. I was never terribly BP but def much more of a bitch than I am now and just took the constant nonsense about "You're definitely gonna cheat" that she would spew all the time. It always made me sketch since all my friends would say "If a person is constantly concerned about you cheating; then they're cheating." Lo and behold, she sure as shit did.

      Funny thing though I'm actually glad about it since that was what eventually led me here.

      Edit:I should say by that time I was less BP than I used to be. In HS? Ugh the whole nine-yards lol.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [removed]

        [–]Dustin_Bromain 14 points15 points  (1 child)

        Yeah, exactly. Women have no frame, but love prodding our frame for potential weaknesses.

        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        It's called making the hamster work for you

        [–]trpftw 16 points17 points  (30 children)

        This is good. I wonder if there's two ways about it.

        If you ignore it then you show her that this tactic won't work. Or if you do something similar then you show how her tactic can backfire.

        Both could work right?

        I mean essentially, it's their childish naive tactic of trying to "control" you. They expect you to get mad so they can make a demand...

        What I try to do is incentivize good behavior. Like training a puppy. Want me to do something, you have to sweet talk me or get sexy that's the only way I cave. After a while they realize the only way to get me to cave is to reward me.

        Look guys, I'm not trying to compare women to dogs... I'm just saying there's a reason humans and dogs evolved together. I train emotional pussy men like dogs too.

        [–]warjesus420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Operand conditioning is a real thing, it's pretty basic psychology but it does work on people too.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (27 children)

        Ignoring doesnt work, she just thinks you dont understand whats going on, so she has a great opportunity to cheat or at least vet him for branch swinging, or that it really bothers you so you wont talk about it.

        Lose lose for you

        [–]Assassin1476 9 points10 points  (13 children)

        Ignoring works extremely well. Bitches would rather have you scream, curse them out and possibly have you put your hands on them in a violent manner than you straight up ignore them. It's like a fire without oxygen, their emotions can't self substain themselves for long without you giving them anything to keep them going.

        [–]1RPAlternate42 8 points9 points  (11 children)

        Not fully ignore... But not make a big deal.

        My wife told me about how a guy cold approached her and gave her his number. Whether she did it because it's an amusing anecdote or she thinks that dread works both ways doesn't matter.

        I said, "aw, that's nice. Did you call him?"

        Any response afterwards doesn't matter. I simply acknowledged her story, and made light of it.

        Then, last night, she told me about how she noticed she was definitely "fresh meat" at a gym she had to use a guest pass at (she's on jury duty and needs to fit in gym time in another town).

        "Look at you! Dudes at the gym... Dudes on the street... You're just making your way in the world!"

        Once again: acknowledge, call-back (from the previous story) and make light of it.

        Amused Mastery: everything she says is cute and adorable and inconsequential to me.

        What she does is a different story.

        [–]trpftw 5 points6 points  (8 children)

        I don't think that will work at all.

        I've seen quite a few posts where a girl complains that her boyfriend jokes/makes-light-of some guy friends etc. and that she is annoyed by it. In a way where she is acting more and more bitchy to the boyfriend.

        Part of the reason women tell you about "some other guy" is to either make you dread, control/manipulate your actions, or to test you to see if you're actually in love with her.

        This test, could backfire if you don't care. If you don't care, then she realizes that you don't really care for her.

        She knows damn well she can parry off "guy flirts" or whatever on her own. She doesn't need your help or "mate-guarding" but she wants to see it as a show of "posessiveness". She wants to know you "want" and "need" her. She wants comfort/assurances.

        One girl I knew would constantly constantly test me and ask me things that are basically revolving around a theme of "do you really love me?" (in not so many words). I didn't joke about it or dismiss it. I simply said "yes" and gave her the comfort she needed. Even later when I dumped her for alcoholism/anger-issues, she kept coming back begging. She sent cute cards and things expressing her love. What I had done, is I did show some amount of possessiveness, some small amount of jealousy, some small amount of reassurance of caring/love. I think the mistake people make is they overdo it.

        The mistake people make in bluepill:::: is to make her comfortable. Make her think she can never lose you. Make her think you are 100% committed. No but 0% committed and constant amused mastery could backfire too.

        I wouldn't wholly dismiss your method RPAlternate (I upvoted you regardless), because you could be the one who is right, and I could be totally wrong. But you have to consider my theory on this too.

        [–]1RPAlternate42 2 points3 points  (3 children)

        Your example was in terms of "guy friends." My examples were randos she doesn't know.

        Do I care about her? Of course. Do I care if I "lose" her? I won't lose my mind over it, but there would be some moments of a normal amount of human depression.

        More importantly, am I concerned about losing her... Especially to some randos? Absolutely not. These guys would need to be more ingrained in her life for me to have any considerable level of concern. At that point I simply turn up the SGM "DE" and remind her that I own that pussy.

        I'm not going to be jealous or even show it in the classic sense... I'll just give her what she wants: uber tingles. This is why we should never always have the tingle makers turned all the way up. This way I can always pull out some stops that make her go... holy shit, that's right... THAT'S my man... I'm so lucky!

        [–]trpftw 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        Your example was in terms of "guy friends." My examples were randos she doesn't know.

        Now it all makes sense. Our theories both work then.

        I'll just give her what she wants: uber tingles. This is why we should never always have the tingle makers turned all the way up. This way I can always pull out some stops that make her go... holy shit, that's right... THAT'S my man... I'm so lucky!

        Great advice.

        I've implemented this strategy and it has worked well with hot girls. I turn it down a lot... then I turn it up... Never a consistency, and always surprises.

        [–]1RPAlternate42 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        As much as TRP would like to circle jerk about it, women aren't interchangeable anymore than men are; they all have individual personalities dictated by genetics, lifetime experiences, cultural backgrounds, and family raising. Not one strategy will work on all women all the time, but that strategy will work on all women enough of the time to allow you to understand how to tailor that strategy specific to them.

        [–]enfier 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Don't reward crappy comfort tests. Give comfort in response to behavior you want, not behavior you don't want. Eventually when your wife/girlfriend wants some comfort she'll bring out the behavior that you enjoy.

        I'm not saying you shouldn't give comfort, but had you given your ex-gf comfort every time she gave you a BJ, she'd be calling you up asking if she could blow you instead of sending a cute card.

        [–]trpftw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yes absolutely.

        I got a blowjob along with the cards actually from my ex.

        I do comfort her during/after sex.

        I didn't comfort her for bad behavior. But I did show anger/possessiveness when she did semi-bad behavior. To show there are consequences for her actions. It wasn't comforting. I didn't comfort her. I did reassure her that I loved her but only when she was questioning it outright and blatantly.

        Some girls will not stick around if you blatantly dismiss/refuse to acknowledge some form of love.

        I didn't reward any repeated demands for expressions of love. You don't get to make demands in exchange for reassurances of love.

        Did I act perfectly? Probably not. I'm sure I made some mistakes. But they were quite minor compared to her mistakes.

        [–]FrameWalker 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        She wants to know you "want" and "need" her. She wants comfort/assurances.

        Comfort tests are still power struggles. She feels insecure, and she wants to gain the upper hand. If you can make it so that you make her feel special without losing ground that's a much better way to deal with the comfort test. Giving up power is failing the comfort test.

        I have a two pronged approach to comfort tests. Give the girl full undivided attention and let her know that she's treating me well and if she continues to do so I'll stick around

        [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        It's incredible how the second you lightly push back

        These hos are so spoiled... so entitled... most men so whippped... they don't see it coming.

        [–]1Paid_Internet_Troll 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        Like bitch....the fuck did you think was going to happen?

        She didn't know for sure that you wouldn't fold like a bitch, so she was poking the bear to see what would happen.

        [–]IGoYouStayTwoAutumns 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        It's almost like they're teenagers, testing your parental boundaries--hmm...

        [–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (47 children)

        If the bitch is doing something like that and you have to "teach her a lesson" like that, isnt the LTR doomed to failure anyway?

        [–]princepeanutbutter 147 points148 points  (22 children)

        Yes. Retaliation is a form of mate guarding. This whole post is idiotic.

        If any of this shit happens you dump her. Most girls who get screened to LTR will not do this shit, they worked too hard for commitment.

        [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (11 children)

        you can go straight to dumping at the first sign, but it's going to have a lot of churn.

        I wouldn't see a problem with a mulligan rule. Can't expect different from a girl, it's worked in the past so often. After you've made your boundary clear though, then it's playing for realsies

        [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

        The thing is, although i advocate OPs approach, it is basically just teaching her to flat out lie to you even more than usual.

        Instead of saying "hot dude from the gym wants to hang out" shell just say "me n the girls, maybe some other people"

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

        she will lie because children don't want to get in trouble, and she wants her reputation as good girl.

        you don't judge, you don't call it out. you making and enforcing your boundaries has nothing to do with her, just act appropriately. Besides, lies like that aren't lies, it's how women communicate.

        "maybe some other people" is about as loud a statement as one would need in that case to make a decision

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        I agree but women learn, eventually they wont make those statements either.

        I guess it really depends what you're in the relationship for because short term you can squash that and thats the end of it, in the long term (if this is fairly early in the relationship cycle) you need her friends support and information supply before you can fully qwell that type of thing.

        [–]VeganRedPill 3 points4 points  (3 children)

        Agreed. My current LTR displayed some red flags but never again has tries that shit as I set very real boundaries and punishments. A lot of these women have never has ANY guy with a strong frame and boundaries, so they don't understand how to submit until you lay down the law. Others are broken to the core permanently.

        [–]TorboLeto 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        How do you communicate to her your boundaries?

        [–]VeganRedPill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I mean I did it matter of factly. She was doing shit that was unacceptable and didn't even need explaining that it wasn't cool. I made a clear statement - that shit isn't tolerable. I explained that my reputation is important and that any girl I allow to be seen with me is not allowed to lower my standing. I stuck to that and I punished her by withdrawing my time and attention until she proved she could be trusted with it. If she didn't shape up, I was going to walk. And I didn't threaten her - that's weakness imo - I let my actions speak where my words won't suffice. There was of course attempts to blame shift to me (I caught her spying outside my door trying to listen to me and a friend because "I'm so secretive its my fault she doesn't know anything about me"). There was whining and complaining. You have to remain calm, keep it simple and focused, and don't let them change the subject or frame. If you ever see how Stefan Molyneaux keeps his callers on topic, it's similar to that.

        Most red pillers would say blah blah blah red flag, cut ties, etc, but when a woman has never HAD a masculine authority worth a shit, you can't really expect them to know how to submit without some experience. Ultimately, treat women like humans, and you'd be surprised that when they drop the helpless retard act how competent they can be with good leadership.

        [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

        Good to hear it from someone else.

        [–]1jb_trp 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        This. You set boundaries and always be willing to walk away at a moments notice. You're not a child anymore; you don't have time for games. Your commitment is more valuable than hers, more valuable than any sex any woman could give you, more valuable than just about anything. If she doesn't value that and wants to play with fire, your best bet is to burn everything to the ground.

        Don't put up with shitty behavior. Ever.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]Drogba006 35 points36 points  (8 children)

          No girl is under a 4 crazy. You deal with it

          [–]trpthrowaway2003 25 points26 points  (3 children)

          [deleted]

          What is this?

          [–]mrp_1844 3 points4 points  (2 children)

          Good video and he never cracks a smile.

          [–]trpthrowaway2003 5 points6 points  (1 child)

          [deleted]

          What is this?

          [–]MRPguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          So good. The shirt and tie with khakis really cap it off.

          [–]Wel108 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          Link on the crazy scale you speak of? Lol

          [–]Dustin_Bromain 8 points9 points  (3 children)

          Like this sub says, women are only as shitty as you let them be. And I'm having none of that shit.

          Also, it's always good to give that feelz wheel a spin every so often... Because as we all know, women don't necessarily want to feel good, they just want to feel.

          [–][deleted]  (3 children)

          [removed]

            [–]Evilence 1 point2 points  (2 children)

            Do you mean that you only use those girls who wont shit test you for LTR? If so, where do you find these?

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            I just think that if she is trying your boundaries that hard, then she isn't LTR material. She recklessly did something she'd really hate to have it done to herself, and that's pretty damn malicious if you ask me. All girls will test you in some way or another but there's certain amount of turd i wont go through.

            [–]BowlOfCandy 1 point2 points  (3 children)

            No. As a man you have to groom your woman. This means protecting her from herself (hypergamy), and also guiding her behavior into becoming something that inspires you.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

            But if she is recklessly doing something that she'd hate that much done to herself (as in the way the original comment im replying to makes it seem) then that's already pretty damn malicious, it's not a matter of setting boundaries but the fact that her nature is fucked up. I just see it as a big red flag.

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

            People see too black and white here. Expect her to be a woman and her nose when she starts to act up. Then if she keeps doing it it's time to drop her, but you can't expect your 3 year LTR not to pull any shit.

            [–]BannedBandit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Instead of playing a game akin to workplace middle management women dramas you should dump the bitch.

            [–]projectself 33 points34 points  (2 children)

            This is a great post.

            I have said a few times before that if I had known then what I know now I probably could have saved my marriage, but if I had known then what I know now, why the hell would I have wanted to?

            And this post exactly summarizes what went wrong. At the end of a 15 year partnership and 12 year marriage, I was being cheated on. I found evidence, confronted. Deny Deny, trickle truth. We did marriage counseling. The counselor agreed with me, and encouraged me to snoop her computer, put a voice recorder in her car, and all around try to verify everything she said. I confronted the other guy.. he denied of course. Looking back I still absolutely cringe at that. It was entirely the wrong move. It was absolutely never my job to prove she loved me or prove she was telling the truth. That should have been her job.

            In dating now, one thing I make very clear is that it is the girls job to handle unwanted attention. If we are out at a bar and some guy is flirting with her, it is her job to defuse it as I will not get involved. If I feel disrespected in the situation, I'll leave. Find your own ride. I've done it a few times too. It works far better than you can imagine.

            That being said, I dont want to imply that you have to be an emotional zombie, it's not like that at all. Of course you have feelings and emotions, but that you have boundaries in how you will be treated. You will be treated how you allow others to treat you. You cannot control anyone but yourself. You cannot even necessarily control your feelings and emotions, but you can control your actions. So do so.

            Lastly, the difference between controlling and leading is by controlling you are telling her what she needs to do. By leading you are telling her what you will do in a situation.

            Example:

            Do not wear that dress - controlling.

            I like that dress you wore the night you blew me at that patio restaurant on the balcony. - Leading.

            Do not cheat on me - controlling

            I would never stay with a woman that cheated on me - leading.

            [–]bertmaklinFBI 5 points6 points  (1 child)

            what you outlined is spot on. Why is it a great post when he clearly showed his wife that he cared...and why is the wife not handling the "unwanted attention" appropriately...

            Jesus this sub has gone to shit.

            [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Jesus this sub has gone to shit.

            The posts are almost 100% pure wanking but the comment section still holds valueable conversations. I always come for those, not the posts.

            [–][deleted] 130 points131 points  (52 children)

            Confronting a guy about making moves on your woman is a bitch move, especially if you say nothing to her about it. That's always between you and her.

            The way I see it, if a woman wants to branch swing, the other dude can have her disloyal ass. The only reason I'm talking to the other guy is to make it clear to him that I have a no return policy.

            [–]trpftw 32 points33 points  (23 children)

            Basically, I just talk to the guy if he hits on my women... First I check to see if he'll just realize "oh ur with her... ok i'll back off." And surprisingly, men are very respectful and nice about it, even if they are taller or bigger than you. Some of them even got scared for no reason.

            The only type of guys I confront are beta male orbiters that try to "hang around" too much. These kinds of men are pathetic and weak and they need to be taught a lesson and get yelled at a bit for being dumb. I flat out tell them "what you think she's gonna come running to you and ask you for sex because she got angry at me?" It really shocks them because they can't believe their secret plan is discovered. Then they pretend that they were just "friends" with no "sexual interests at all", but in reality when you listen to such beta males talk, it's pretty clear, they're not friends, they're just pretending to be friends for the potential hope of sex. They usually have like nothing in common with the girl they orbit. They're slaves.

            If a guy at a bar hits on your girl and is not just gonna go away on their own (sometimes they're very nice and will go away), then let him continue and see if this girl is disloyal. Then I just confront her about it and dump her, which is what I did with a few of these girls (not because they cheated or anything, but because they acted like as if some random man was worth talking to in a flirty manner or whatever, even when I'm there... like what is wrong with these girls...)

            I really don't understand these kinds of girls, like, if I stare at a hot blond girl for more than a second with her, they get mad, but they wanna talk to some random hot guy and not get dumped? I have yet to go and straight up start flirting with a hot girl in front of a current girl. Why can't they show the same respect?

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]NiceKicksGabe 3 points4 points  (1 child)

              My ex wouldn't dare flirt with a guy in my presence, because she knew that she'd be pissed if I did the same.

              [–]trpftw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              And one thing I learned in the past is: you should flirt with girls if she flirts with any man.

              I assumed one girl would not do this again, because "well how would you like it if i flirted with some hot blond?" No don't assume. She doesn't realize what she's doing. She doesn't see this as disrespect. You need to teach her a lesson first and confront her as soon as it happens.

              Don't let it slide. Don't pretend it doesn't exist. Don't ignore it as a "oh she's just talking to someone for a bit". No, be much more aggressive is what I learned. You confront her or you flirt in front of her as revenge, or you downgrade her to plate, or you dump her.

              Doing "jokes" or telling her in a non-consequential manner, won't help. There must be punishment.

              [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 6 points7 points  (8 children)

              Dropping a girl for flirting and being charming is an idiot move and screams insecurity as loud as mate-guarding.

              Any woman of value who is able to raise your social value will also be good at flirting and will be charming.

              Imagine she is meeting your boss or your best client at a diner party. What would you want her to behave like?

              Words do mean nothing. Actions do.

              The correct response for if she is flirting with the “wrong“ guy is some dread and not going nuclear.

              [–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl 12 points13 points  (2 children)

              Dropping a girl for flirting and being charming is an idiot move and screams insecurity as loud as mate-guarding.

              Words do mean nothing. Actions do.

              The correct response for if she is flirting with the “wrong“ guy is some dread and not going nuclear.

              I dunno man. I disagree. As someone else mentioned:

              Jealousy and mate-guarding are just more signs that she has you. And once she has you, you get relegated to the back of the mind, and she, in one way or another, seeks someone new to stimulate and excite her.

              There has to be a balance between "respect" and "let her flirt with anyone/everyone because I'm an idiot if I don't let her". I don't think any man with value would tolerate that shit beyond a reasonable amount.

              My case study: ex was always on my arm when we were together. Whenever she was out on her own, she never mentioned she had a BF and would welcome any random guy that hit on her. She needed her feelz validated and could never be alone. Gotta watch for those behaviors man. Not going to rationalize their behaviors away.

              [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 3 points4 points  (1 child)

              There has to be a balance between "respect" and "let her flirt with anyone/everyone because I'm an idiot if I don't let her".

              Of course there has to. It's about intention. As you mention further down, a woman seeking attention from other guys and therefor flirting with them is damaged goods. On the other hand, a woman just being naturally flirting, because she is confident and just a charming person overall is a whole other issue.

              There is also flirting and there is flirting. It can be done in many different ways and nuances and obviously being a cheap basc bitch is just one of them.

              However you fucked up long before, in particular when you made your decision to promote this girl to commited relationship, if she is behaving like this.

              [–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              However you fucked up long before, in particular when you made your decision to promote this girl to commited relationship, if she is behaving like this.

              This^ when I got involved with her, it was at the lowest point in my life. i.e. thirty beta. Then NMMNG and TRP got my full attention. The whole relationship blew up as I tried to switch the power dynamic only to realize I had no business being involved with her as anything more than a plate. Lesson learned; monk mode..... thanks for the feedback - spot on.

              [–]trpftw 1 point2 points  (2 children)

              Dropping a girl for flirting and being charming is an idiot move and screams insecurity

              No. Dumping is never insecurity, it's security. You have abundance mentality. You have options. You don't tolerate disrespect and bullshit drama, or flirting girls. An insecure man only gives empty-bluff ultimatums, a secure man, has no qualms about dumping a dumb disloyal bitch.

              And it wasn't the "first time", and I did confront her about it as a warning the first time. So it's not like she was just "naturally charming". She wasn't "naturally" charming, she was just being gamed by the guy and continuing the conversation like an idiot. Like as if it's going to lead to somewhere.

              If you have to dread a girl to have her be with you, then you reek of insecurity and desperation. Why do you have to work hard to keep a girl? A girl should already be loyal to you. A girl who isn't loyal, does not get LTR status. They get downgraded or dumped.

              Do I flirt with the hot blond chick at the bar, in front of my girlfriend? No. I expect the same fucking respect.

              And when I dump her over it. The results are fantastic. She comes begging and apologizing and crying. Bribing me with gifts but I've already downgraded her in my eyes. You don't disrespect people like that.

              And if you think I'm being mean, even an old school alpha who has NEVER been to TRP, told me to dump that girl a while back.

              Words do mean nothing. Actions do.

              Nonsense. Words and beliefs lead to actions.

              Imagine she is meeting your boss or your best client at a diner party

              That's different. She was talking to random idiots at a bar.

              [–]Tom_The_Human 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Imagine she is meeting your boss or your best client at a diner party. What would you want her to behave like?

              There's a part in either the second or third season of Mad Men that comes to mind. In it, Don tells his wife to flirt with one of his biggest clients in an attempt to get the guy to stay with Don's company.

              [–]enfier 0 points1 point  (5 children)

              I really don't understand these kinds of girls, like, if I stare at a hot blond girl for more than a second with her, they get mad, but they wanna talk to some random hot guy and not get dumped? I have yet to go and straight up start flirting with a hot girl in front of a current girl. Why can't they show the same respect?

              It's about power. Getting mad about the hot blond puts your balls back in her purse. Then she talks to some hot guy to get you riled up, fun reaction time. She yanks your chain around all over the place because it's fun and she can do it. That's all it's about. Fun and power.

              Next time she gets mad about the hot blond, go introduce yourself to her. Hell, most girls can read the subtext just fine and will actively play along in getting your girlfriend riled up. If she's talking to some random hot guy, wait until she's distracted and just disappear.

              [–]trpftw 0 points1 point  (4 children)

              Again you don't want to be with a woman who plays power games like that.

              You're either the man, or she's trying to compete with you in dominance. Fuck that.

              I don't think it's bad of her to get a little angry if I stared at a hot blond. I don't think that deserves punishment.

              She deserves punishment if she goes and talks to a hot random guy.

              [–][deleted]  (21 children)

              [removed]

                [–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (11 children)

                What you described, grabbing her ass with you there, is more like an assault. Of course you'll do something.

                What if you're at a party and a dude flirts with your girl, which is more like the example in the story. If she doesn't flirt back, then great. No harm, no foul. You move on. Confronting the guy who flirted would make you appear to be an insecure beta.

                If she flirts back, then you deal with her directly and not the guy who flirted.

                [–]Sementeries 18 points19 points  (4 children)

                Never understood why dudes wanted to fight a random dude who fucked your girlfriend. Just dump the wench, and maybe fuck her friends if you're feeling spiteful.

                Maybe befriend that guy and laugh at her telling eachother you're Eskimo bros now.

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                [deleted]

                  [–]NiceKicksGabe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                  I wouldn't congratulate the guy, but I'm not about to go blow for blow with some asshole over some pussy.

                  [–]Assassin1476 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  I don't either. Men are gonna do what they're gonna do, it's not their fault. Women who are in a relationship know what the deal is and if they break that deal, fuck em. On to the next.

                  [–]Endorsed ContributorClint_Redwood 8 points9 points  (5 children)

                  Confronting the guy who flirted would make you appear to be an insecure beta.

                  I have a long time friend that has this chick since elementary school. This dude is a cop and fairly well built, but go damn is he fucking insecure. He does this shit constantly, with anyone that even looks at his chick wrong, even to girls. One of my plates walked by her once and slapped her ass, he freaked the fuck out. Like really dude? Your afraid of a chick, that I'm seeing, is going to steal your girl with an ass slap?

                  What's funny is if you dive into it. His subconscious is actually so emasculated that it is truly scared that a woman could steal away his girl because he's so fucking insecure. He does it instinctively, like ass slap, boom in your face within .5 seconds. 0-100. No thought into it, just pure instinct and insecurity.

                  It's fucking cringe worthy. When he does it, people around him visibly draw back and their repulsion is blatantly obvious for everyone but him. She cheats on him constantly and can stand being around him. But, they've in love since high school.

                  I have no idea why she hasn't branch swung yet.

                  [–]NiceKicksGabe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  What's funny is, that's what outsiders think Red pill/alpha dudes are like, when in actuality, we don't give a fuck.

                  [–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 41 points42 points  (7 children)

                  If a girl doesn't want a guy touching her ass, she will say something. If she's not saying anything, it's not because she's afraid of the guy, it's because she doesn't mind or enjoys it.

                  A guy should never mateguard for any reason. His girlfriend is capable of handling her own shit, simply by calling out other guys. If she doesn't do it herself, you can bet your ass she is allowing it to happen.

                  The only time a guy should ever step in to defend his girl is when she has been involuntarily put in a position where she could be in danger. If at first she tries to call the other guy out, and it doesn't work and he becomes more violent and aggressive, that is when her partner should intervene. And only then.

                  [–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  ...girlfriend is capable of handling her own shit, simply by calling out other guys. If she doesn't do it herself, you can bet your ass she is allowing it to happen.

                  this^ this is the shit you should be watching. It's a covert way to have her cake and eat it too. And sends the message that you aren't giving her the tingles.

                  [–]throwwwwwaw 0 points1 point  (3 children)

                  What about when you're first picking up a chick?

                  Example: talking to a chick in a club, it's "on"... Later when you're with another group you see another guy making a move on her, and she's kinda compliant too. Should you come in and "mate guard"/amog here or should you allow him to make more progress, potentially losing her?

                  [–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                  She doesn't have any obligation to you because she's not yours. Even if we were to say that mateguarding was situationally acceptable, that would NOT be one of those situations. At all.

                  Just because a girl is getting closer to a guy, does not mean that he's going to be taking her home that night. The deal is not closed until she's out the door.

                  And besides, if you were making progress with a girl, she'd be all on you, and not wandering around... unless you decided to wander around (which you should).

                  [–]Assassin1476 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Exactly. Grabbing the ass thing is pushing the line on the dissrespect level and as a man you have to do something about that. It doesn't even have to be about defending your girls honor or defending the love of your life, its about the clear lack of respect from one man another. Simple as that.

                  [–]trp_dude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  In general, that's true. However, there are some exceptions and these exceptions are really important.

                  First instance is if your GF is basically being harassed. The dude won't leave her alone and keeps talking to her and she's told him off. Then you've got to step in or you look like you're not protecting her. No protection = not alpha.

                  Second instance is when the guy is being so vulgar that it's insulting. Maybe insinuating that your GF is a slut, etc. That's an insult to her and to you. Once again, you need to defend her.

                  Note the key here - are you defending her, or are you being insecure?

                  By the way, there is no loyal or disloyal. If your SMV is high enough, then she'll stay with you, and if not no. It's just a law of nature, not a moral issue.

                  The third instance, and some will disagree, is when the dude is your friend. In that case, he's disrespecting you and you have an issue with him, not with your GF.

                  Now, if you're married, the threshold for all these are a bit lower. Your wife will take your lack of intervention as weakness at a lower threshold than a GF would. If a GF got pinched in the ass by some dude and you laughed, that might be one thing. If your wife got pinched in the ass in front of you and you didn't do anything, that screams beta.

                  [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]TRP VanguardYouDislikeMyOpinion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    Did the guy wrong me?

                    If not, the girl can deal with it. I can still do whatever I want for entertainment value.

                    If he did wrong me, I deal with the issue I have with him.

                    [–]Endorsed ContributorMeat-on-the-table 53 points54 points  (8 children)

                    Jealousy and mate-guarding are just more signs that she has you. And once she has you, you get relegated to the back of the mind, and she, in one way or another, seeks someone new to stimulate and excite her.

                    If you're indifferent to her shit, however, she'll be asking herself why you don't care. Works even better in LTRs and marriages, because then she already thinks she has you. Expect her to be thinking of you and your aloofness when she's out and not focusing on the guy she's with.

                    [–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 26 points27 points  (6 children)

                    I agree with OP that no guy should be mate guarding. Having said that though, a guy must establish boundaries for his partner as to what is and isn't acceptable. If she ever passes beyond this boundary, she is to be passed on.

                    The difficulty in marriage is that she is absolutely certain she already has you, and truth be told, she does. You could divorce her, but she's safeguarded by the legal system. That is generally why it isn't a good idea for men to marry.

                    Being indifferent is great for handling plates and sometimes girlfriends. More so for plates because it really doesn't matter what she does, if she's not doing things you like, you can always drop her for another girl.

                    [–]Assassin1476 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                    Exactly. If she has you married, moved in to your place or have kids by you, she essentially has her claws in you in some manner. That's why you limit the options and never put yourself in that situation. The greatest offense is a solid defense.

                    [–]darkrood 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                    Wife: What? you gonna meet up Jodi for lunch?! (I will count that as psychological abuse in my head and raise that to the judge as a domestic abuse incident. :D)

                    [–]Primemale 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                    Whilst I obviously agree,there is also such a thing as guys who don't show their woman enough attention or affection and that will have the same result, of course these dudes are in the minority as opposed to the jealous types.

                    We know, for good reason that a man doesn't want his woman/women to fuck other dudes evolutionarily speaking, so I'm not convinced that it's always a sign of beta behaviour. Taking her shit by wanting to see another dude or whatever would be beta also.

                    I personally know very alpha dudes that give their (serious)chicks a scolding or withdraw attention etc. if they were to say compliment a guy from a movie such as ''he's sooo cuuuuteee'' because they feel it is disrespectful, although note that this is in a relationship and not plates.

                    Overall I still agree that it is generally going to be seen that she can do better, sure. I personally am in that category and if my girls ever compliment other dudes she's gone for good, done. I'm only interested in chicks that worship me like the king that I am.

                    [–]ManOfGrapes 44 points45 points  (20 children)

                    OP gonna ruffle some newbie feathers with this post. Anyway, in the past six months I've upped my passive dread big time with my woman. I've improved a lot in the gym, done well on the job front, etc. but I've also made it a huge point to not give a fuck about sex.

                    I denied her passively the other day by continuing to focus on the budget stuff I was working on and she lost it. Kept begging for it. Finally gave it to her after I finished, but whatever. The point is, I've been noticing a lot more recently how she'll go out of her way to prove her loyalty to me. The cooking is top-notch now and she makes it a point to make sure I'm aware of what she is doing all the time (not that I give a fuck). Aloofness is so effective, and the best part is, you don't have to do much at all.

                    [–][deleted] 57 points58 points  (11 children)

                    If newbies aren't getting upset then they ain't learning.

                    [–]ckp2906 2 points3 points  (10 children)

                    Hi. Just replying to a random comment.

                    Wouldn't you react to a guy hitting on your girl at, lets say, a bar? Ain't there some old primal alpha gene, to protect your mate or something?

                    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]GarandTheftAvto 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                      Whether or not the woman sees it as controlling (in the absence of some fetish) entirely depends on your SMV, imo.

                      [–]TRP VanguardYouDislikeMyOpinion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                      Yes.

                      Guy meets girl. Guy does what he wants in his life. Girl wants Guy. Girl shit tests guy to see where she stands with him. Guy reacts, mateguards.

                      Situation 1: The guy has 3 plates. The girl successfully pulls him into her orbit. She came out on top vs. 3 girls. The game is not over, this is just her first move. The guy can also leave at anytime if he feels like it.

                      Situation 2: The guy has nothing going on. The girl pulls him into her orbit. Who did she beat? No one was even competing for him. This means that she already won the game.

                      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                      lol, you don't know much about CAD, do you.

                      chances are while he wife is at the bar, he's otherwise engaged. She wouldn't tell him about it anyways

                      [–]External12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                      No. You watch and observe at most. Then you decide to talk to some girl yourself or assume you need to cut you losses eventually if she's enjoying someone else's attention right in front of you. It depends in how this scenario goes. But most importantly initially, don't give a fuck, she should do something about it whether it's telling him she's with someone or "he was a nice guy and just wanted to talk" bullshit story.

                      [–]frys180 6 points7 points  (5 children)

                      but I've also made it a huge point to not give a fuck about sex.

                      This alone has improved my LTR tremendously. Guys don't know how powerful this is.

                      [–]enkae7317 11 points12 points  (1 child)

                      My gf recently told me she's going to withhold sex from me if i don't do this and that for her.

                      I literally laughed in her face. It was so ridiculous. She caved before the day was over.

                      [–]TorboLeto 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                      I've read around here that desiring your woman in itself turns her on. If you don't give a duck about sex, isn't that contradictory?

                      [–]TRP VanguardYouDislikeMyOpinion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                      I've read around here that desiring your woman in itself turns her on. If you don't give a duck about sex, isn't that contradictory?

                      It is healthy for a man to want sex, and to have it.

                      Do you remember how much you cared about sex when you were with your first? Compare that to now. Do you care as much now? But you still want sex, and have it.

                      That should answer your question.

                      [–]enfier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                      It's the sort of situation where nuance is important. Your relationship with your woman should be a distinctly sexual one, but getting turned down shouldn't put you in a bad mood. There are a lot of ways to get there.

                      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                      The point is, I've been noticing a lot more recently how she'll go out of her way to prove her loyalty to me.

                      It's hilarious when women try to use commitment as something they can give you. My number one plate is constantly randomly bringing up how she doesn't sleep with anyone else, completely unprovoked.

                      "Uh huh, sure you don't ;)"

                      "No I swear! On my grandma! I love her more than the world, I wouldn't swear on her if I didn't mean it."

                      "Aww that's cute."

                      It's hilarious to watch them squirm for you when they've already given you the only thing you should give a shit about.

                      [–]TRP VanguardYouDislikeMyOpinion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                      I wish more men would pick up their fucking balls and use them.

                      Look at how many successful men there are in this thread. Commitment, sex, food, respect, etc is served on a silver platter. Not to mention something that I value much more than all of those combined. Peace of mind. Enjoyment of life.

                      For men who are knee deep in shit, it can seem that this is out of reach. It's not. It just requires work, time, and persistence. Climb the mountain and enjoy the view from the top.

                      I hope that many men reading this thread will get angry and do something about it. Because these results are not uncommon.

                      [–]BannedBandit 13 points14 points  (1 child)

                      I'm going to be dropping a bitch before I start playing games like calling my ex-plate just to get her to notice. That is shit that women do.

                      If your girl goes out for lunch with her ex, you don't go out with some chick from work and then casually mention it to see how she reacts, you just fuckin dump the bitch.

                      [–]squirestrat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                      You can do this.

                      I think /u/BannedBandit is just on the same spectrum, different wavelength.

                      Totally appropriate response, if you want it to be. Hell - I'd do this to in most cases. Everyones situation is different though.

                      [–]NeoreactionSafe 64 points65 points  (26 children)

                      A woman needs to be in a constant state of dread that if she misbehaves you will leave her.

                      The only screwed up thing now is the Child Support (as well as marriage) laws that grant powers to women that violate the Natural Laws. These are the things you worry about. Once you get a woman pregnant she has the legal powers now to make your life a living hell. Hopefully one day we can repeal Child Support as a concept. (it didn't exist 50 years ago and is just wrong)

                      No baby?

                      Well, heck, you really have no worries.

                      Young beta boys fear the wrong things. They fear emotional loss in a relationship. That's of low priority as a threat in the larger scheme of things.

                      Pay attention to the big dangers (Child Support) and don't worry about ending relationships for emotional reasons.

                      Witness a Divorce Rape... that will give you a sense of perspective.

                       

                      [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

                      A woman needs to be in a constant state of dread that if she misbehaves you will leave her.

                      In other words -- you want to be high value enough so that leaving you or giving you a reason to leave is a poor choice.

                      [–]NeoreactionSafe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                      A woman that does not look up to you is not worth knowing.

                       

                      [–][deleted]  (7 children)

                      [deleted]

                        [–]NeoreactionSafe 3 points4 points  (5 children)

                        What country is that?

                        In America we have a family court system where the judge can pretty much do whatever he wants as far as assigning Child Support. If you are seen as rich then the judge can quadruple the payment. The sky is the limit if you are very rich.

                         

                        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

                        [deleted]

                          [–]NeoreactionSafe 4 points5 points  (3 children)

                          Boy that would be great.

                          If there were limits that would prevent a lot of uncertainty about it.

                          I'm assuming this is a fixed absolute cap and not a fixed percentage cap.

                           

                          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                          [deleted]

                            [–]NeoreactionSafe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                             

                            $3000 UK pounds * 1.44 = $4320 US dollars

                            $4320 month * 12 months * 18 years = $933,120

                            That's not cheap.

                            Less than someone like Robin Williams though... he lost millions. (and killed himself)

                            That's just short of a million US dollars.

                             

                            "A Million Dollar Baby."

                             

                            [–]Statecensor 3 points4 points  (8 children)

                            Yes child support is a bitch and it does get out of hand but at the end of the day if your stupid enough to not use a rubber. Then why should the state have to force the rest of us to pay for your woman's womb droppings? We go after dead beat dads otherwise their woman and kids will be on welfare and food stamps costing us all more in the long run.

                            Sure you might not let it happen to your kid but plenty of other men bitter about a divorce or a break up have no problem abandoning their responsibility to financially support their kids.

                            Don't want to pay child support then use a rubber or get fixed otherwise tough shit.

                            [–]bluedrygrass 17 points18 points  (5 children)

                            We go after dead beat dads otherwise their woman and kids will be on welfare and food stamps costing us all more in the long run.

                            That is socialist mentality. No, if women risked anything in being single mothers, like it's naturally supposed to be, they would adjust their behaviours in a heartbeat. In fucking milliseconds. They know what's up, better than you and me.

                            A woman will only push as far as she's allowed to. If she had to pay for her errors, she would think twice.

                            Instead, with forcing male slaves to pay for women's fun, we're encouraging the behaviour.

                            Even relationships that otherwise would have been stable and happy are now broken because women are constantly baited by the concept of cheating and stealing half of a man's assets and his sons for free.

                            [–]NeoreactionSafe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                            Why should the state have to force the rest of us to pay for your woman's womb droppings?

                            It should NOT pay.

                            The state should not get involved. If the children want to be with the daddy and daddy will provide for them that's great. No need to have the family court system.

                            If on the other hand the woman is a hard worker as an Old Maid (or other job... just using the historical image) then if she wants the kids that's great too.

                            The state needs to just do nothing.

                             

                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            'should' has no place here.

                            Right or wrong, it happens now, act accordingly

                            [–]InsiderT 33 points34 points  (6 children)

                            I like everything you wrote up until:

                            Want to see your ex boyfriends? That's cool, I'll start seeing other people too.

                            Wanna workout with StealYourBitch Jones from the gym? I'll see that and raise by having three hour lunch with Jodi from marketing. The one you know wants my D..yup...her.

                            Who cares if she pouts and huffs and puffs that you are a "controlling asshole"?

                            This is not setting rules and enforcing them. This is childish and not worth my time. If she's LTR material, the rules are the rules. If she persists, I have to recognize that she is not, in fact, LTR material.

                            If I start seeing other people because she is, or if I start having lunch with Jodi because she's working out with Jones, I'm just fueling her emotionally by being the asshole. I see absolutely nothing to gain with this approach.

                            IMO the right move is to remind her that you don't own her, that we're all free to do as we need to do. She's gotta decide if she needs to work out with Jones or if she needs to be my plate/gf/fiance/wife/[insert your preferred label here]. If she whines, complains, persists, recognize it for what it is - she's not LTR material - and start treating her accordingly. Regardless of what you decide to do with Jodi, she doesn't need to know, she's just a plate at this point, or less if you don't even think she's worth the time for that.

                            I do agree with how you finished though:

                            If she thinks she can walk all over you...this relationship is doomed anyway.

                            Summary: She ain't yours, it's just your turn so don't mateguard and it will probably work out fine.

                            [–]Fulp_Piction 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                            Precisely. What do you get out of reacting?

                            The idea of frame is that you don't react. You're unshaken, so you let her run on and do what you were doing anyway. If she does something shitty enough to warrant a breakup you break up with her then go and do what you were doing anyway. Revenge is emotionally driven, it's not logical, and anytime it seems logical is completely coincidental.

                            [–]enfier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            What do you get out of reacting?

                            Um a date with Jodi from marketing? If my wife wanted that deal I'd have my soft harem assembled in a month.

                            It works because it's a credible threat, not a theoretical one. If my wife wants to branch swing, I'm not going to stop her.

                            [–]RedEyesBlueShades 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            Yes and no.

                            If you see Jodi because you want to get back at her, then she's really in control of the situation. But if you see Jodi because you are acknowledging that the world is changing - the agreement between the two of you is no longer as solid as you thought it was - you are simply shifting your attention to someone more deserving.

                            If you start looking for another job when the company starts to go down, you are doing the smart thing.

                            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                            [deleted]

                            [–]animalpoo 11 points12 points  (1 child)

                            I like the whole "not mate guarding". However reacting to her action instantly I.e. By going out with Jodie from marketing. Is too "in your face".

                            At the most say "my girlfriend would never do that". With girlfriend being a position any girl can fill, not her specifically. Should she go ahead, she's not your girlfriend and you gave her fair warning.

                            [–]le_king_falcon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            It all depends on context.

                            If she acting out to test boundaries in a way that is too obvious to be ignored sometimes an overt reaction to show you don't care or will beat her with her own club is better than perceived passivity. After all passive acceptance of shitty behaviour is correctly seen as ultra beta behaviour.

                            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                            [deleted]

                            [–]KartagoPill 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                            Women get attention for facebook and other places all the time.

                            Internet changed world into one village so she can pick cocks she wants.

                            [–]razometer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            So find a better girl. Remember, she's not yours, it's just your turn.

                            [–]1commentatorX 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                            Great post. Ever notice how whenever you check your phone (for a reason) your plate will, within 30 seconds, look at hers (for absolutely no reason).

                            All women attempt to dread, consciously or not. The best defence is to suppress your concern/hurt feelings/whatever and tease away. Nicely put.

                            Shit-eating grin: "You know he's only talking to you to get close to me, right..."

                            [–]TRPhd 3 points4 points  (6 children)

                            Want to see your ex boyfriends? That's cool, I'll start seeing other people too.

                            Good opportunity to bring up an open marriage. Read Blackdragonblog before you do, though.

                            Shit, if she can even see any man besides me, the LTR is on the downslope and it's time to look at other options.

                            [–]Harry_Teak 11 points12 points  (4 children)

                            Shit, if she can even see any man besides me,

                            The guys who think their women can see only them are usually the ones being cucked.

                            [–]TRPhd 6 points7 points  (3 children)

                            I agree. If you think she can't see past you, you might get cucked, but if you are looking for her to look astray and see that she is only into you, well, that's a different story.

                            If you ever have a woman that far into you, that addicted to your cock, then you'll have a better idea of what it looks like.

                            I'm always on the lookout for competition, subtle signs, etc. They just aren't there. Either she's the best liar I've ever met, or she's unavailable to every other man she's met. It's both gratifying and also a bit unnerving; there's such a thing as too much of a good thing.

                            Besides, I don't live my life in fear of being cucked. The only way to avoid that with 100% certainty is MGTOW or plates-only. Those approaches don't work for me. If it happens, it happens; just move along to the next one. She's not mine, it's just my turn.

                            [–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                            I agree with your approach. There comes a point where some guys are so terrified and obsessed with being cucked that they see it around every corner. They see it even when they don't see it. I wonder if they secretly want it and inject it into every scenario and project it onto others' situations because they can't deal with their own obsession with it.

                            [–]Harry_Teak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            You're in the right frame of mind. Confidence is what separates the Chuck from the cuck. It's both the cure for that particular concern and the insurance against it. Invisible chains are often the strongest.

                            However, I wasn't referring to you specifically. Just pointing out that there's often a fine line between confidence and cluelessness.

                            [–]3savoryprunes 4 points5 points  (4 children)

                            The branch-swinging metaphor really works well here. If you mate guard, you are demonstrating that you will support her no matter what. You are a reliable branch. If she's looking for a new branch to swing to, she knows she can always swing back to you if it doesn't work.

                            On the other hand, if you demonstrate that you are willing to cut her loose because she is looking to swing elsewhere, this will consume her thoughts. She may still entertain the idea of a new branch, but she won't risk both branches breaking and her falling to the ground (singlehood). She's much more likely to come back to you and ensure she's safe in her relationship (comfort test).

                            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                            I like this and am glad you showed me a different way to think about why mateguarding is so wrong.

                            Have a point

                            [–]Do not send modmail to my personal inboxCrazyHorseInvincible[M] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                            Point awarded by request of /u/theultmatecad.

                            [–]DaphneDK 3 points4 points  (3 children)

                            Read a thread somewhere about a guy who had put his girlfriend in a chastity belt. Apparently they have some new ones which are more comfortable, not like the Medieval iron ones. I wonder if this falls under some kind of ultimate mate guarding.

                            [–]dat_mean_no_work 9 points10 points  (1 child)

                            Well she can still give head.

                            [–]bluedrygrass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            not like the Medieval iron ones.

                            The medieval ones didn't exist anyway. Almost all of them are modern day replicas. They're a projection of modern times on "those dark retarded ages".

                            The society was the chastity belt back then, only few ones were used as an anti-rape measure in invasion times.

                            Like the ius primae noctis, it's all bullshits.

                            [–]Fulp_Piction 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                            Key point here is "that's cool". If you show that it bothers you, you may as well paint a big shit test target on that topic in future.

                            Your ability to walk away is the most valuable asset in your arsenal, and makes the hamster spin whether you have options or not.

                            Let her do what she wants. It's a win win; you either have a girl that wants to be with you or a girl that wants to be with somebody else. It keeps you out of marginal situations and keeps your decision-making process simple.

                            [–]bertmaklinFBI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            He did show it bothered him though. That's the kicker everyone seems to be missing.

                            [–]bertmaklinFBI 3 points4 points  (5 children)

                            1) Your reaction still shows that you are butthurt that she is considering going to a work outing.

                            2) If your frame is so good...why do you have an issue with your wife going out? Why does she have tingles for another man?

                            [–]Regularguygamebrah 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                            I tell em if they like to play games, then be careful. Because, I play to win, baby.

                            [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                            This is why you need to keep girls on the line. She's going to keep her beta orbiters, and when a man comes out of the woodwork who she actually sees as a potential branch to swing to, you'd better have an attractive woman waiting in the wings. Nothing looks more pathetic to her than a man who couldn't get another woman.

                            The best defense against a potential affair is hard dread game.

                            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                            When I was a young man I admit it, I sweated a few game playing hoes.

                            But now as an older man, LOL you must be kidding me.

                            If my wife did some shady shit like that, a smile would light up my face...

                            ARE YOU TELLING ME I'M FREE???

                            I would literally start dancing. I might even sing a tune.

                            No more husbandly responsibility? No more expectations? I get to keep all my money (I live in a 50-50 default custody state as of 2013) now?

                            I'd immediately be on the phone with my single buddies all like

                            "What sup bro? ... Yeah dude I'm FREE ... Yep caught wifey talking to some dude ... Yeah it was no good ... What little honeys you got going on? .... Oh yeah dude I'M IN ... Yeah I'll drive ... Text you when I'm on my way"

                            I'd post a little blurb on my FB page that I'm separated and that I really don't want to talk about it much - and the women will start coming out of the woodwork messaging, texting me, coincidentally showing up at places I'm at, etc...

                            I'm a good dude who loves his wife. I'm a good husband who shows just enough beta traits to mix with the natural alpha. I diet, work out, I'm educated, I have a good job, I'm ambitious and my career is on an upward track, I fix shit and take care of the yard - our home looks beautiful - and I'm happy to do all these things - but all that goes away if she were to reveal her unworthiness. I wouldn't miss a blink of sleep, either.

                            Its not like I have to throw that in my wife's face, she just knows. That is the way it should be. That's the way it should be for every dude in an LTR. By the time you get that headlong into a situation the boundaries must be set.

                            We've all bought cars here right? Its sort of like that. You're never going to get the best price until you show the salesman your back. That's when they know your limit. Same with women. Early on you set the precedent of what your tolerance points are. You don't have to be a dick about it (at least not all the time - maybe sometimes), just matter of fact. X behavior will get Y result. After the first few shit tests blow up in their faces they learn. If you have the groundwork laid - a good financial base under you and an abundance mentality, then literally any situation you can walk away from and be alright. If women know that at any given moment you could just walk away without blinking that tends to cure them somewhat of shitty tendencies. You're not being an asshole about things - its just a matter of ability and self respect.

                            [–]squirestrat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            Everyone should keep this in mind:

                            "ARE YOU TELLING ME I'M FREE???"

                            I too feel this way when mistakes are made. It's liberating.

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Excellent analysis and example on attitude

                            [–]Rougepellet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            Controlling asshole? How is that being controlling? I can't forcibly controll my girls, only myself. So they are free to do whatever they want. If they want to meet up with their ex boyfriend I can't stop them and won't try. I'll just consider the relationship over and start seeing other people. In no way does that controll their actions, only mine.

                            [–]T0000009 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            You only guard what has value...

                            No used up twat has enough value to justify guarding

                            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                            As Rev. Lawrence Shannon said, all women are public property.

                            If she -be she an LTR,Plate, wife,whatever- wants another mans dick bad enough that's exactly what's gonna happen.The last person to know will be her Main Guy.

                            One of the biggest lies society boxes up for males is the idea that If A Man Does X (get married, show commitment, be wealthy , etc) hell have a good woman to himself.

                            That's a con up there with the De Beers industry and ARM mortgages. Diamonds are common, houses aren't free, and women are public dispensers of sex.

                            [–]harsheehorshee 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                            Isn't this basically "playing games" with her? If she has the gall to do this, shouldn't one just next her?

                            [–]Luis_McLovin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Yes this is playing games. Yes, it's sexual strategy. If you can beat them at their own game however you win.

                            [–]Eugenics2015 3 points4 points  (10 children)

                            I don't feel jealously I just feel disrespected. There is a difference

                            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                            My father said something along the lines of your summary. He said, "Albizzy, this isn't your wife that you are having sex with, this is some other mans wife until you put a ring on her finger."

                            [–]TheRabbitTunnel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            I think this post is great, but I would have ended with a different conclusion. You suggested that instead of mateguarding, you one up her by doing it back to her (seeing other people yourself).

                            If my girl was seeing others with interest, I would just drop her right there. Will turning it around on her make her jealous and attracted to you? You bet. Is that the kind of girl you want to LTR/marry? In my opinion, no. It doesn't matter that you can keep her, the question should be do you want to keep her?

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                            I teased her mercilessly about her "fallback guy" and how cute it was that she had a puppylove crush. Said he was a super sweet guy and she should explore her opportunities. She fucking hated the overt talk about her "group outing" that I correctly relabeled a "drinks date with plausible deniability."

                            that's just as beta as mateguarding. it's not cute. it's disgusting. it should disgust you. you have boundaries and if she crosses them, permanent demotion to fwb status, if she crosses them hard, no contact.

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Not how it works in the beginning of an LTR or marriage where one unplugs late

                            [–]genjuro_zero 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            "drinks date with plausible deniability."

                            I almost lost it at this. Great post.

                            [–]DforDeadpool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            Want to see your ex boyfriends? That's cool, I'll start seeing other people too.

                            Wanna workout with StealYourBitch Jones from the gym? I'll see that and raise by having three hour lunch with Jodi from marketing. The one you know wants my D..yup...her.

                            That's something a beta cannot. Because he wouldn't have options. It's natural for an alpha. I learned and still learning so much here.

                            [–]zetayshow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            Fuck Mate this just opened a whole new view for me. Very thanks

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