So I made this post on /asktrp three weeks ago regarding my ex needy validation behaviour with strangers on instagram:
I've dated a girl for 3 months, she has no father, only guy friends (1-2 female friends) and it always was something that bothered me. she always told me that they were flirting with her, but then she would always tell me she avoids those compliments. few days ago I checked her Instagram and I discovered something very different: she would flirt with them too, send them pics and messages of her, they txted her back "you're hot af" "you're so fucking sexy" and stuff like this - FOR THE WHOLE TIME WE DATED. I broke up with her immediately, she started crying and begging me to get back together. she promised she will change, that she would do everything for me. I love her. that's the truth - and now I start thinking that I was too impulsive. she always told those guys she has a boyfriend, they knew I was around and she never really cheated. I think she only did it for some attention. my questions are: 1. was I doing the right thing? 2. can we ever get together again like we used to be, or is it too late?
thank you all!!"
This what happened afterwards:
We were seperated for a week, then we decided to get back together. By the time we were broken up she go out on a date with another guy, which she declared to be unattractive, and stated she has no desire for him.
We kept fighting, arguing, and even though she really loved me, she just kept snapping and me and having scenes.
Few days ago I sensed some clues that she is hiding something on her phone. She changed passwords, never let me see anything on it, even if it was a YouTube video.
After I pressured her to tell me the truth, there it was: she kept talking with the same guy, sending him pictures, intitiating conversations and so on.
She explained it that he was the only one who could listen to her without judgement, and that she was afraid I would break up with her.
This time I decided it's finally over, and that I should move on. You all told me to cut it off, but I was weak, and then I got in my face.
She begged me to reconsider rebuilding the relationship with her, that she will change, and finally told me that if I change my mind i should text her. Not gonna happen.
Thank you brothers for making me smarter and stronger everyday. And remember - Medium is the message and AWALT
I've read everything you wrote. Thanks for all the comments, the nicer ones and even the critics. I know TRP, I read the side bar (and even more) and still, true life is different. I gave her one chance, she screwed it up, and now she's gone for good.
My father told me something I want to share with you as an extra message. After I broke up with her again he told me something I will never forget: "I wish I was like those guys, who can end an LTR quietly, without any hesitation or fear, and just say 'fuck it. I will have awesome relationships really soon and I will feel better'"
That's the guy I want to be. For sure. I will fight every day for it. Life's full of challenge.
Thank you for everything. I wish you the best journey you can do!