I recently read The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem and I thought it would be helpful to share some of the ideas here. Basically, self-esteem is defined by 2 factors:
Confidence in our ability to think, confidence in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life.
Confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our need and wants, achieve our values, and enjoy the fruits of our efforts.
If you believe that the problems in your life can’t change no matter what you do and that you are not in control of your own decisions, then you have low self-esteem.
If you feel like you don’t deserve the credit people give you for your success or accomplishments, then you have low self-esteem.
While high self-esteem might not be something which our life depends on (like water and food). Self-esteem is important for our well-being and happiness, it gives us the mental power to achieve great things and be successful in all parts of life. Every man can increase his self-esteem by practicing:
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
1. Living Consciously: We are aware of what happens in our life and taking responsibility. It’s the ability to be able to stay congruent with your beliefs-values and act through them.
2. Self-Acceptance: Accept that you are not perfect. Nobody is born perfect, everyone has their own flaws. There is no point to start beating yourself because you are shorter than your co-worker. Instead, you must accept yourself for what you are. You might be short but the tall guy next to you might be bald and not like it either.
3. Self-Responsibility: It goes in hand with Self-Acceptance. It’s the continuation of that process. After you have accepted your flaws and mistakes. You now have to examine which of those you can actually improve and take action while stop worrying for those you can’t. You might not be able to overcome genetics but you can certainly improve your behavior, your haircut, your health and your body!
4. Self-Assertiveness: You stay true to your wants, needs, and values no matter the pressure you get from other people. It is the willingness to stand up for yourself even if sometimes what you do or believe is not so popular. “My life does not belong to others and I am not here on earth to live up to someone else’s expectations.” Men with low Self-Assertiveness fail shit-tests.
5. Living Purposefully: It means you are productive, that you take action every day to achieve your goals. Be specific, visualize what you really want in your life and make a plan. Measure your progress as you go on.
6. Personal Integrity: When we behave in ways that conflict with our judgment of what is appropriate, we lose face in our own eyes. We respect ourselves less. If the policy becomes habitual, we trust ourselves less or cease to trust ourselves at all. Integrity means congruence. Words and behavior match. For example: If you said today that you will go to the gym but you end up not doing it. You will lose some of your Personal Integrity, you will stop trusting yourself and what goals you set to yourself.
To the extent that the six pillars are integrated into our daily life, self-esteem is supported and strengthened. To the extent that they are not, self-esteem is undermined and subverted. One of the vital things The Red Pill teaches us is to respect ourselves, if we respect ourselves other people will follow.