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Red Pill TheoryAn Old-School TRP Motto (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Augustine2017

Never complain; never explain.

This is an old saying of Ben Disraeli, a British Prime Minister from the 1800's. These words ring true for life in general, but especially for whatever interactions you choose to pursue with women. I'll break it down.

A. Never complain.

Why not?

1) Because it solves nothing. As my grandfather used to say: "If you can do something about it, don't bitch. If you can't do anything about it, don't bitch."

Men define themselves by their actions, not by their words. Actions will fulfill you. Mere words will not. Saying you'll lift gets you nowhere. Saying you'll read a book gets you nowhere. Lifting that weight, or actually reading for an hour, will get you somewhere.

2) It's a womanly/beta habit.

There's a reason they call it "bitching." Unlike men, women have no problem seeing words as an accomplishment in of itself. That's why many of them, for example, can leave a gym feeling fulfilled because they chatted for 30 minutes with so and so, even if they did almost no exercise.

Also, women whine and complain partially as a means of verbal processing, but mostly as a way to vent their weaknesses and insecurities and receive social validation for it. Betas do this too. There's always someone to blame for their problems (besides them), whether it's their fathers, society, the elementary school they went to, the food industries, their anti-anxiety medication, their porn addiction, etc.

Don't buy into this. We've all dealt with various challenges in our lives. Accept it and fix it however you can. Got childhood trauma? See a therapist. Too fat? Watch what you eat and workout. Just shut up and solve it. You don't need someone else's validation or faux-pity. Whining about it simply makes you seem weak, which drives anyone (especially women) away.

Remember, a key part of TRP strategy is being confident and "holding frame." You cannot do this if you are complaining. So just don't.

3) No one cares

This feeds into point 1. Everyone has their own problems, so don't waste their time, or yours. Commit to a course of action and pursue it.

B. Never explain

This is especially relevant for dealing with women. A beta, who sees a women as superior to himself or as something to be worshiped, will constantly attempt to justify himself by explaining his actions. You do not need to earn any woman's approval, so do not explain.

1) Explaining puts the women in control

By explaining your actions to a women, you are telling her that you need her approval over your life choices. This gives her not one, but two means of control over you: her approval, and by extension, her sex. First, remember that you never NEED sex. And even if you did, which you don't, there are millions of other women to get it from, so you sure as hell don't need her. Neither do you need the approval of some fickle, emotionally-driven, immature being. Retain your control over the situation. Don't explain.

2) Application

Two examples.

Got a date this week? Show up at least 5 minutes late (feel free to show as late as you think you can without her leaving), then offer no explanation whatsoever. Because you don't need to explain yourself to her. She will conform herself to your confidence and self-assurance and see you as "high-value" because you have a IDGAF attitude. That is the key.

Did she text you last night? Don't respond for a unusually long time (this will vary based on the nature of the conversation) then offer no explanation. At the "worst," she'll flip out and back off from you. This almost NEVER happens. Even if it does, she'll respect you. What will probably happen is that she will interpret your delay as being due to another woman or because she simply isn't valuable enough to you. Her response will be to "compete" by doing more to improve your opinion of her. Profit.

Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but they are rare. Use your common sense.

TL;DR: Never complain; never explain.


[–]red_matrix 156 points157 points  (1 child)

'Never Explain' - this 1000x. People only explain themselves to an authority. Once you start explaining yourself to a woman she starts to dry up - it's natural. Think about a time in your life or work where some guy is explaining why he couldn't complete X task, what was the mood in the room, how did you feel towards this guy? Everyone probably thought he was some weak loser and most people would lose temporary respect - and you can bet most women wouldn't want to associate with him. Never explain. Don't make excuses. Own your shit.

[–]PraiseBasedDonut 161 points162 points  (18 children)

It's all good but you shouldn't be replying late just for the sake of replying late if you want her to see you as a busy man. Be busy , don't fake it.

[–]Augustine2017[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Ideally, you should fill your time up with fulfilling pursuits. However, you should do this once in a while as a way to feel things out. You learn volumes about someone when you deny them something.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 63 points64 points  (5 children)

Who gives a fucking fuck whether it's genuine or not. This is GAME

"Oh jebus I'm not actually busy I better reply now!!!"

[–]robertml 64 points65 points  (1 child)

He has a point though. The object is to make game natural, if you always wait around to give the impression you're busy the only possible benefit is her impression of you. You have gained nothing, you're faking it. If you instead make yourself busy leading your own life the dynamic changes from wasting time waiting but pretending you aren't to allowing her a small slice of your valuable time.

[–]Weefilly 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Yea faking it works for a 1-2 time bang basis but anything more than that, especially LTR or consistent plate, you will be sniffed out and look like a try hard fake which results in Sahara Desert level dry.

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"My entire life is a sham!" - George Costanza

[–]yeaigetit 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Nah fake it till you make it.

[–]robertml 33 points34 points  (4 children)

You can fake it all you like but be prepared to fake it forever. If you really have nothing going on aside from wasting your life on videogames you'll have to make up shit to fill in the gaps where you chose to bum around the house. If you confidently give the impression that you are busy when you aren't, people will stop inviting you to do things out of respect for your "busy life". That only leads to missed opportunities.

To really do it right jam pack every day with as much activity as you can and make time to get back to people, one, when it's necessary and, two, when you want to.

[–]yeaigetit 1 point2 points  (3 children)

But I honestly enjoy doing noting and being at home more than filling my day being busy, but If i act like I'm busy sometimes it's the best of both worlds.

[–]robertml 27 points28 points  (2 children)

That's a problem all on its own. Most everyone enjoys doing nothing but doing nothing doesn't grow your life, it shrinks it. What you're doing may be the best of both worlds in protecting your ego, you get to stay lazy but give the impression you're not; however it's the worst of both in living a healthy life, you accomplish nothing but take the rewards of accomplishment anyway. I like to spend time alone as often as I can get it. The way I've found to balance my need to be alone with my thoughts against the need for a well rounded life is to be doing life maintenance. I go grocery shopping, I wash my car, I change my oil, clean my place, work out, do laundry, anything mentally easy enough that I can complete the task on autopilot. Doing those sort of things as my time to do nothing keeps me from having to worry about keeping up with lifes basics while I'm trying to do something more meaningful or fun and I've accomplished something tangible during my time to be left the fuck alone.

If you can bring yourself to do it, instead of faking being busy in your downtime make yourself busy working on your own life. "I was at the gym" will always be a better reason than any lie could be.

[–]duncmancan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Really fucking good points my dude. Needed to read that.

[–]yeaigetit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with this and already so these things but they don't really take much time out of my day. But I def see what you're saying good points.

[–]vwzwv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being Busy > Texting on the late side (faking it / or not wrapping yourself up in it (game either way)) > supplicating with a prompt reply. That said, I break up my belated txt replies with an occasional prompt one. I think it makes things more organic. If I have any sense of urgency or (stress, desperation, etc) I never make a prompt reply. It's kinda like playing golf.

[–]winndixiedirty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Retracts from message of original post.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You can actually get pretty busy with that. I tried to do this for just the sake of it, but I kinda realized that if you actually do shit like reading long bodies of text or working out you get very busy and you wont really feel like checking your phone again and again

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (4 children)

My personal third on that list: "Apologize, but never be sorry."

The idea with that is that i am always 100% behind every single of my actions. Even if i am wrong. I trust in my own judgement. I am never sorry about what i do. If i fuck up i apologize to show some respect and show that i understand to be at fault. I will however never be sorry about said fuck up. Because i did, what i believed in.

Side-Note: Your thread is good OP, but your examples are shit. There is a difference between justification and explanation. NEVER EVER JUSTIFY yourself is true and exactly what your examples show. Never explaining is also a valueable attitude, but you have shown JUSTIFICATION in the examples, not EXPLANATION.

[–]3nebder 16 points17 points  (3 children)

I’ve taken this to the point where I never say “I’m sorry”. I go with “I apologize for x. I’ve learned y from this situation.” The second sentence shows that you recognize the error and will prevent it in the future.

A related word trick is to not apologize but to thank the person for a good quality in dealing with your mistakes. That would be something like “thank you for your patience” instead of “I’m sorry I was running behind” or “thank you for the clarification” instead of “I’m sorry. I communicated poorly”. You can turn just about any error to a positive spin to backhandedly acknowledge your error and make the other person feel good for having good qualities instead of focusing on your fuckups.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I still prefer to focus on my mistakes for the moment, so i can erase them in the future. Yes i can still remember them whilst complimenting someone BUT it always hurts more to say "I was wrong", so its more fuel to erase the mistakes in the future.

[–]Psychocist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup. It's in the 16 commandments of poon.

"You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely."

I never say sorry now unless I am genuinely sorry, such as if I've accidentally hurt someone physically or caused them a great deal of pain/loss.

It's also made me realise how many people, at least in the UK, are sickeningly apologetic for nothing. My country really is too polite.

[–]1Entropy-7 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Upvote. I've been a soldier and a lawyer. Being a man of action was infinately more satisfyng that being a man of words.

[–]oldslut 12 points13 points  (1 child)

i hate complainers. waste of time and energy that could instead be used on a solution. i have no patience for that bullshit. doesn't matter if it's a guy or a plate, ain't nobody got time foh dat

[–]1AfterC 5 points6 points  (0 children)

[–]TheGameJerk 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Ok but in an LTR how do you brush off the woman literally asking you to explain something?

[–]DrHolz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually say "I'm busy, I don't wanna talk about it right now." Or "let's talk about this later, I'm really not in a mood to talk about this". If she's still stuck, you walk away or end the phone call etc etc.

Just change the topic or completely ignore what she's saying. Women's emotions are temporary, so even if she is temporarily angry, she'll forget about it soon.

[–]whuttupfoo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I always find when people apologize to me, it feels like it’s coming from a lower status position. As if they’re supposed to be impresssing me but they failed to do so properly. When you do the same for other people you’re sort of putting them on a pedestal. As if your actions aren’t good enough for this person.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is some classic advice that TRP meant for. The sub has been quite too philosophical lately. It's all good. :)

[–]irate_killah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To what extent should you never explain? Makes a lot of sense, even when you have a valid point, explaining often sounds like you're making excuses and trying to justify yourself, which hurts your frame. But explaining your passions or your hobbies, such as why you like/dislike a particular genre of music shouldn't hurt right? I feel like it enhances the conversation and shows your interesting side etc.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I remember correctly being late was also in 48 Laws of Power. I’m late everywhere I go. I can’t stand to be there early or on time. It goes against the Protestant work ethic to be late but when you show up late all the time and don’t apologize people just assume you have more important shit to do. Betas who apologize for being late get shit on. If you really want to take it a step further: get up and leave meetings or engagements if you’re bored or you feel like your time is being wasted. I do it all the time. You’d be surprised how people react. Some people will always be upset but if anyone dares approach you about it they’ll do so tentatively usually.

A note to not-yet-alphas: Don’t just start doing this if everyone knows you’re a pushover. You have to start relationships this way, or ease into it if you’re maintaining frame in other areas too. If you get called out just hit back hard: “do you want me sitting around discussing <make the meeting sound like a waste of time> or working on <bosses top priority>?”

[–]newls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My current girl completely changed her attitude after I blanked her for a week. Acting like I did nothing wrong when she tried to read me the riot act. Took a "Jesus calm the fuck down" attitude with an amused agree-and-amplify "Yeah I'm a bad guy, don't get mixed up with the likes of me..."

Now whenever she acts up and I ignore her, within hours she's apologising or otherwise offering some concession.

Some girls will see it for what it is and leave, but those aren't plates to spin. Abundance frame!

Ignoring a girl is a cheat code guys, use it. It separates you from the beta hordes constantly vying for her attention.

[–]drty_pr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best thing I've read on here in a while. This should be on MRP as well.

[–]Psychocist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her response will be to "compete" by doing more to improve your opinion of her. Profit.

Or go fuck some other chad.

[–]lovecraftbro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How far do you take the "never complain" part? Is talking about some negative experience but in a confident jokey way considered compaining?

[–]DerpishGambino 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about explaining to a fellow man?

[–]cherryCanSuckMyDick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Paul Proteus nailed it right on the head with this:

"Dont say no, do no"

[–]clavabot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Never complain; never explain"

Is this something that you would apply to all your social interactions? Because it seems like a dick move to not tell your bros the reasons behind your actions/decisions?/ Just brushing people off seems like good way to get friends to dislike you?

I get that it works when dealing with chicks, but are the 'rules' not different when dealing with male friendships?

[–]Andrew54321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The show up late tactic does more damage than good.

I’d rather develop the habit of doing what I say than not. An agreement is an agreement and this showing up late displays a lack of power and control over one’s own time and environment.

Only self-esteem issue ridden women will be attracted to this ‘high-value’ behaviour.

[–]TheMighty200 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Every once in a while a legitimately good piece of advice like this rises to the surface of the circle jerk jizzfoam sea that is this cancerous, nihilistic heard of closet homosexuals and psychopathic wife beaters.

[–]CanuckinFL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that's an honestly well crafted insult. Quite eloquent. Props