I’ve never had a lot of success with girls. Sure, I talked and flirted with many of them, but I was plagued by an inability to close and show interest. I was too afraid. Fast forward to the present day, and I’m a freshman in college. I moved in four days before the start of classes, and had ample opportunity to game the almost ungodly number of hot girls that go to my university.
It’s Saturday night, and I’ve been drinking with some friends. We’re walking down the street, and start talking to some girls. While this is happening, another set of girls is walking by the house we’re in, and we call them over. We start talking, and before long everyone is intoxicated, and HB8 is making out with me. I can deduct at this point that HB8 is down to fuck, and I proceed to take her back to my dorm, an inopportune 30 minute walk away. Eventually, we make it back, start making out, and fuck. She ends up leaving 4 hours later at 4:30 am, and that was the end of it.
After 18 years of desperate longing and existential despair due to being sexually inexperienced, having sex for the first time was nothing like I thought it would be. Was the girl hot? Absolutely. Was the sex good? Not really. It wasn’t as physically enjoyable as I fantasized about, and I wasn’t left feeling validated. I was left feeling empty. Almost as if the entire interaction was some perversion of intimacy. Maybe it wasn’t sex I was longing for, but companionship.