592
593

Field ReportOn finally fucking a girl after 18 years of celibacy (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by theseeker24

I’ve never had a lot of success with girls. Sure, I talked and flirted with many of them, but I was plagued by an inability to close and show interest. I was too afraid. Fast forward to the present day, and I’m a freshman in college. I moved in four days before the start of classes, and had ample opportunity to game the almost ungodly number of hot girls that go to my university.

It’s Saturday night, and I’ve been drinking with some friends. We’re walking down the street, and start talking to some girls. While this is happening, another set of girls is walking by the house we’re in, and we call them over. We start talking, and before long everyone is intoxicated, and HB8 is making out with me. I can deduct at this point that HB8 is down to fuck, and I proceed to take her back to my dorm, an inopportune 30 minute walk away. Eventually, we make it back, start making out, and fuck. She ends up leaving 4 hours later at 4:30 am, and that was the end of it.

After 18 years of desperate longing and existential despair due to being sexually inexperienced, having sex for the first time was nothing like I thought it would be. Was the girl hot? Absolutely. Was the sex good? Not really. It wasn’t as physically enjoyable as I fantasized about, and I wasn’t left feeling validated. I was left feeling empty. Almost as if the entire interaction was some perversion of intimacy. Maybe it wasn’t sex I was longing for, but companionship.


[–]modSlyGradient[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (14 children)

Well your problem OP was seeking validation from external sources. Not the sex, nor the lack of companionship. You sound like you are making excuses. Until you are honest with yourself about the real problem, you won't be able to fix it.

TRP is not "a movement". We will not help you fill the void inside yourself. We are simply ancient knowledge repackaged for a modern world.

[–]1Zanford 99 points100 points  (14 children)

One of the best things about sex is it helps you realize sex is not that big of a deal.

Also lol at your title...you had me thinking you were like some 36 yo incel

I’m a freshman in college

After 18 years of desperate longing and existential despair due to being sexually inexperienced

Are you a college freshman in his 30s (possible) or are you saying you've had this despite since you were born? lol

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (3 children)

I remember popping my cherry at 17 and being like "shit, I coulda been all over that pre-school puss if I wasn't putting it on a pedestal"

[–]1Zanford 2 points3 points  (2 children)

lmao yeah I had a similar experience, a bit of self-started TRP awakening (although I never put it in very clear mental terms and finding Heartiste's blog was what made me consciously aware of all this later on), a real forehead-slapping moment when I looked back and realized some slam dunks I had passed up due to being unaware (acting 'too nice', or missing obvious-in-retrospect IOIs, etc.)

[–]midnight_metro 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Ugh. These are the worst memories to look back on. Remembering that you had women literally hand it over but were too clueless to realize.

[–]The_Phoenecian 133 points134 points  (12 children)

Sexual chemistry is a fickle thing. All of us have hooked up with girls that should have been great matches on paper but for whatever reason the spark wasn’t there. Don’t sweat it at all, it happens. Hook ups are also a very bastardized and cheap form of sex in my opinion. Aside from a few girls that I clicked with sexually right off the bat, the best sex I’ve had in my life by far has been with longer term flings or girlfriends. It takes time to learn a person’s interests, the intricacies of their bodies. People that only have casual sex never get to that point and it’s frankly dumb in my opinion. Practically all virgin guys think sex is a way bigger deal than it actually is in practicality. Hence incels going crazy over never getting what they believe is the best thing ever, while guys that have sexual options treat it as it should be treated: fun but not a big deal. Don’t let this turn you off of future experiences, just be mindful that sexual chemistry is largely mental. The best sex you will have is with girls with whom you feel an intellectual and emotional connection to some degree. This is why you can bang an 8 and be underwhelmed by it, but bang the right 6 and think about it for weeks afterwards.

[–]theseeker24[S] 32 points33 points  (10 children)

I didn’t feel any sort of emotional connection with the girl, but felt emotionally connected to the feeling of being wanted after going through adolescence void of that feeling.

[–]Dominimus 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Yep! The rabbit hole goes deeper, haha. Look at it like this, you were looking for something and found it wasn’t there. That’s OK, consider it Practice. Because one day there’s gonna be a girl who takes your breath away, who is the embodiment of a perfect human being as you understand that term, who makes you feel a feel more special than any other special feeling you’ve had before and maybe ever again (though heaven forbid), and it’s all gonna come down to one question. “Do u got game, boi?”

[–]expansion101 6 points7 points  (2 children)

As much as you are right that there will likely be a woman down the road that will take his breath away due to who and what she embodies, I think that would be not because she actually does in the fullest sense, but he wants her to or expects her to. That is, coming at the interaction from a beta viewpoint. No person is perfect and cannot be expected to be.

[–]Dominimus 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Of course, but you can’t control your own reaction to things. Just like he had mediocre sex. If he had a choice he’d make himself feel like it was the greatest sex of his life, but we obviously don’t have that ability. Falling hardcore for a girl like that is the corollary. Game is, in part, for knowing how to handle those situations. Those are the important moments.

I’ll tell you that the one person I had that reaction to I was in no control over my feelings. No more than I could induce melancholy or rage in myself at this very moment as I type. But I was in control over my behavior, and because I was practiced, things went well for us.

[–]expansion101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Resilience, to summarize what you've said. Willing to dive in, but knowing that doing so would be reckless.

I had watched a video where the guy explained that being tender, open with a woman will open them up to you. Only then do you act out with bold intent if a meaningful relationship is what you want. I can see what you're saying. That's where many men mess up: they remain in the first phase of the relationship.

[–]DavidEagle68 4 points5 points  (3 children)

The last thing you want to do is have sex just to have sex. Whatever is going on inside if it has to do with self esteem or whatever, that’s definitely priority.

[–]theseeker24[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I’ve been working on my self-esteem for the past two years when I noticed it started to impact my life negatively.

[–]cigar1975 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You are a good guy, you are in college to better yourself! Keep your head up and I hope your life goes wonderfully.

[–][deleted]  (74 children)

[removed]

[–]Sinister_Smooth 197 points198 points  (59 children)

Once you get a companion. Meaningless sex just isn't that fun.

[–]BigGreekMike 297 points298 points  (43 children)

Refreshing to see this on here. I love the red pill for what it reveals about human nature, the pitfalls of the modern woman and modern society. But I don't think it goes far enough. To me, the meaning of life has nothing to do with sexual fulfillment, but self-actualization. Accepting the devil's bargain of "because the seemingly near-entirety of women are not what I would like them to be, I must submit to the rules of their game if I hope to come out on top" still puts women above men in terms of setting the course of society, and that's not a concession I'm willing to make. If I'm truly living my life according to a greater purpose, I will seek out the truth of who I ought to be, rather than submit to the concession of who I feel forced to be.

From that perspective, this is my hierarchy of what it means to be a self-fulfilled man.

Lowest: The Omega Male. Commonly known as the Incel. Feels entitled to long or short term possession of a woman/women, without feeling any sense of responsibility for what it means to be a man. The male equivalent of a feminist whale. Has no purpose in life save for acquiring a female, but lacks the slightest modicum of courage to even make an attempt. The Incel is self-aware about their life being a sad, painful, meaningless existence, but completely unwilling to admit it's their own fault, and blames the generality of womanhood for their own absence of manhood.

Lower: The Beta Male. Desires possession of an abundance of women and/or a single high-quality woman, but lacks the discipline and self-respect to improve their own desirability. Willing to debase himself to the level of a supplicant in hopes that womanhood will look upon him with favor, and bestow conditioned access as compensation for long-term servitude. The beta-male's unwillingness to suffer in the present for the sake of self-improvement and ultimate fulfillment results in a lifetime of being a child—suffering subservience in hopes of being granted short-term rewards from an authority figure.

Higher: The Alpha Male. Red-pilled. Understands the nature of the modern western woman, the requirement of a man to improve himself physically and professionally to achieve his goals. Has the upper hand in the power dynamic of a polygamous hookup culture—but while far ahead of the Omega and Beta, is still is submitting to the rules of a game he might not actually want to be playing. A game demanded by a reality that AWALT, that there are no unicorns, and that if the game is rigged, you must rig it in your favor. But while modern society may demand certain behavior out of a man in order to survive, deep within us there is still a desire—almost a nostalgia—for something greater.

Highest: The Alpha Omega Male. To me, the highest ideal a man can achieve is to be a person who is aware of the pitfalls of woman, the unlikelihood of finding a unicorn—but is so committed to a higher purpose, firstly in terms of self-actualization, and secondly in terms of feeling a moral obligation, that he's willing to fight for who he desires to be and how things ought to be, even if it comes at personal sacrifice. This is the antithesis of an incel—the celibate man with a purpose. Monks, great thinkers of history, philosophers, Jesus Christ—all fit this bill, so dedicated to their life's mission, so unwilling to play by the rules of someone else's game, that they remove themselves from competition, and direct all that energy into their higher pursuits. But while the calling of an alpha-omega-male is the commitment to celibacy, that is the starting point, not the necessary end-point. Because this type of man, the pinnacle of self-actualization, is the male unicorn—and most likely to attract, and be able to accurately identify, the female unicorn. Should these two meet, and grow a liking to each other, the ideal type of marriage can flourish—borne out of a genuine personal relationship, rooted in a mutual commitment to themselves and each other, and guided towards complete and lifelong devotion only to those things. This is the relationship of true love that elevates both to be the best versions of themselves, rather than a short term alliance of two individuals using the other for selfish gain that ends in despair. This is the family unit that ought to be desired and encouraged in a healthy, ideal society. This is the pinnacle of man, achieving his purpose in life as an individual, a husband, a father, backed by the support of this rare ideal woman.

I would be interested to see others flesh out this idea some more. But I think its an important notion worth exploring further. There is a lot I agree with the red pill in terms of identifying the problem. But while it provides a solution, I don't think it provides the truest solution. I know many here will disagree with my assessment and say I haven't wholly swallowed the pill—but I challenge those people to at least respect the thought I've put into this, honestly consider whether its possible my belief holds merit, and then respond with measured counter-analysis rather than emotional retaliations.

[–]Operator216 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Stick this breakdown into a post. It will go far for people on here.

[–]boxxybebe 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This needs to be made into a post and expanded upon STAT, and I need to be tagged in it STAT

[–]fortwaltonbleach 45 points46 points  (0 children)

“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.” -revelation 1:8

[–]Believeinyourflyness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Would you say Isaac Newton was an Alpha Omega Male?

[–]saamohod 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That feeling when you browse TRP subreddit and suddenly you find a post that propels you straight to the next level of it.

I've been having the same thoughts but I just couldn't put them that clearly.

This is the true Red Pill revelation: The Alpha Male is not the pinnacle. The Alpha in its current sense is just an animal.

There is another level up.

[–]WhiteWonderWall 4 points5 points  (0 children)

According to your theory The Alpha Omega Male requires sacrifice to an ideal (pursing what is meaningful). The Alpha Male, is in contrast, a slave to expedient gratification.

The AOM removes himself from competition because he seeks a path to transcend it. The Alphas who are the best competitors sit at the top of the hierarchy enjoy the best of what high SMV has to offer. But AOMs reconsider if at what is at the top of the hierarchy is worth playing the game that is contrary to their beliefs.

Is sex, pleasure, and self-improvement for the sake of such provide ultimate meaning? If you had complete access to the entirety of women would you be satisfied?

Fuck enjoying the decline. Fuck degeneracy. There's an alternate path. TRPers believing the decline is inevitable is the same as obese people believing that there's no way for them to become slim.

[–][deleted]  (8 children)

[removed]

    [–]rrealnigga 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Agree with that last part, specially when you realise this is likely an 18 years old teen writing it.

    [–]MyUsrNameWasTaken -1 points0 points  (3 children)

    Fucking lots of random of women is actually a beta trait in the grand scheme of things. Considering it is basically the easy way out. Everyone says LTR/marriage is TRP on hard mode. That's because it actually takes WORK! You work on your body, your diet, your game. LTR/marriage is just. The next step, working on your woman/companion. Pussying out and stopping with just plates is the easy-way betabucks move

    [–]pmmedenver 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    Your argument that more work = better is a stupid one, it's the exact reason why crossfit is retarded. Your argument should be that yes it's more work but there's also more rewards and it's worth the sacrifice.

    [–]Spilledmychips 12 points13 points  (5 children)

    I’m going to go ahead and disagree with a small portion of the alpha omega male...

    There is no unicorn. End of story.

    You must except that to stop your mind from wandering. If you don’t believe me find a woman far better than you in every aspect win her over and stick threw the pain until you outgrow her.

    There are women that serve us, that may be equal even if we are great but the habit that creates a alpha omega will continue to develop that man over time. It is his duty and his purpose.

    When you find your purpose(lifes work) you will realize why a partner will be always second to it. It will be the measure which you will use for who is going to fit in your schedule and how.

    Finally, once you completely out grow a woman, even if you decide to keep her around, she will become so uncomfortable around from your lack of need for her, she will throw a fit, attempt games of control and be so offended by your lack of concern, her final compulsive test will be one that will never let a man with self worth let her back. (This isn’t a mountain top experience) you will see this happen over and over again at every significant growth point.

    [–]WhiteWonderWall 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    There is no unicorn because you believe there is no unicorn. Confirmation bias confirms your bias. If TRP is aware of the problems with being ideologically possessed (e.g feminism) then we should seek to identify when we ourselves are bound by such.

    The theory that there are no unicorns, no true love are maps of territory, not the actual territory.

    [–]imonlyherecuzbacon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    This was.... Hopeful and inspiring. Thank you

    [–]Sendmebobs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You're a great writer. While never having thought about the terms you did, I do agree with you in, from what I can tell, every aspect related to this subject.

    Nice read, thanks.

    [–]Aestheticcunt1996 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    The alpha-omega-male sounds like a MGTOW to me.

    [–]PM_ME_UR_NIPS_GURL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thanks for writing this. It needs to be fleshed out a little more and made into its own post. Saved.

    [–]Lightning14 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Excellent comment. I agree it deserves its own post. However, I would not necessarily include the discovery of a unicorn for the Alpha Omega Male. The Alpha Omega can attain a self-fullfilled LRT as a father and husband with a high quality woman. However, he would know that he must maintain all ideals of self-actualization and RP concepts to keep the Mrs. aligned with his mission. He doesn't need a unicorn, simply a woman of higher quality than the typical. A woman that values family over career. One that is able to recognize the high quality man she has is not worth risking for the next exciting Chad to cross her path.

    That being said, I would still expect her to become discontented with him if he were not to maintain his RP nature. This is what we mean by AWALT. If he became a supplicating beta she would lose her respect for him over time. There is no unicorn that will love and respect a man unconditionally (or at least if there are any it's futile to search for one).

    [–]BigGreekMike 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    He doesn't need a unicorn, simply a woman of higher quality than the typical

    I completely agree with this. I should have clarified that my personal definition of a unicorn is not the perfect woman fantasy stuff you read on here. Red Pillers are accurate to say that woman does not exist. But I do think unicorns exist, I just define them as flawed women with solid foundations that can't be shaken. They are not perfect in terms of "everything they do is good and pleasing and life with them is a breeze"; but they are perfect in that they will not be shaken or broken in any major way. These women are uncommon, but they do exist, and in my opinion are worth raising a family with.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]BigGreekMike 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      An Alpha that doesn’t fuck doesn’t seem an Alpha.

      I do agree. However, my counter is that I don't think being an Alpha is the highest ideal a human being can achieve. I think being an Alpha is the highest ideal an animal can achieve, but as free thinking beings, we can be more than that.

      I believe at a general level there are two types of men and women. Hedonists and Stoics. Within the Hedonist spectrum fall the Alpha, Beta, and Omega male—because all three have personal pleasure as their underlying purpose. But if a man chooses to be a stoic, whether he marries or doesn't, he transcends a life of mere carnality for a higher purpose. The man who chooses this is what I call the Alpha Omega male.

      I would also argue women have a similar choice to make—and the "unicorn" is the female equivalent of the Alpha Omega male, who forsakes her hypergamous animal instincts for a purpose beyond herself. These women exist, but they avoids Alphas, and only seek out Alpha Omega males—which is why an Alpha male's assessment of reality from personal experience is accurate when he believes that this type of woman doesn't exist.

      [–]Wambo45 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      This is fluffy, ideological horseshit.

      This is not red pill at all. This is just a different brand of idealization and personal conjecture.

      The red pill is not an ideology.

      [–]saamohod 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      This is not red pill at all.

      Exactly. Because it transcends the Red Pill narrative. It's the next level.
      My deepest respect to the author. It was an eye opener.

      [–]antariusz 3 points4 points  (6 children)

      Eh, I have 2 dogs. They make a great companions.

      Meaningless sex is still fun.

      I have a girlfriend that provides both.

      [–]LurchingDeath 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      I though this was the red pill you know old school men.... Not I need another person in my life to be happy. Any adult not just a man should be perfect content living life alone. It's no different than smoking dope to forget your troubles. It's just a bandaid so that you don't have to confront the fact that you yourself are a boring individual

      [–]sadshark 13 points14 points  (1 child)

      Did you know that inmates would opt for torture instead of isolation if given the chance?

      Bottom line, we are deeply social creatures that REQUIRE social interactions and activities with friends, lovers, or family.

      Any man should be able to be alone and be content with their loneliness... for a limited time. If he is alone all the time his mind will degenerate.

      [–]jackandjill22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Choices are a signafier of power. He vee the phrase, "Beggars can't be choosers."

      [–]TheStoicCrane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The older I get the more it seems like weekend flings and pornographic binges are just compensatory behaviors for a lack of intimacy.

      [–]mikeyp_88 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      It was his first time....of course the sex was put on a pedestal.

      Hopefully he will now look at it differently

      [–]tinderoglu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      It took me a long time and tons of meaningless hookups with girls I didn’t like to realize that I’d rather fuck someone who I don’t mind spending time with instead of someone whose ringtone waking me up the next morning is a lady Gaga song.

      [–]watusaym8 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      This is the best thing on this sub I've read in a while.

      [–]theseeker24[S] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

      I think I realized that after I finished on her face.

      [–]187oddfuture 28 points29 points  (4 children)

      Damn she an absolute ho if you got to finish on her face the first time you fuck 😂😂😂

      [–]trees_away 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      First time i ever came on a girls face it was a last minute fallback date on Tinder. Subby little thing who just wanted to get laid and i never saw again. Wanted to be degraded and used. Sure thing sweetheart!

      That was the day I discovered that having a woman staring up at me with doe eyes begging me to blow a load on her face is a fetish of mine.

      Definitely a ho. 🤣

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]Karmageddon17 140 points141 points  (11 children)

        Tbh sex without emotion is just assisted masturbation or at least that's my experience. I realize that most redpillers wanna just smash and dash but I've always had to have an emotional bond at some level to enjoy it. Just my 2 cents

        [–]jy432 45 points46 points  (8 children)

        Shit dude. This is spot on... im pretty inexperienced but when i was 16 I had a girlfriend whod spend the night a lot & we hung out all the time, had sex all the time. And sex was great. Point is... i thought at the time i loved this girl & i was comfortable with her. (First red pill truth... i later caught her hand in hand walking in town with the dude that i beat up a week earlier. She told me that he was texting her. Face palm...)

        Fast forwards now... Hadnt had sex for 6 years & more recently got the courage to try again. Fucked 3 girls in the past month. Sex has been poor to very mediocre...

        Only time sex was decent was when i was laying in bed with one girl in particular. I think she was the coolest out of all of them. Its like i cant go from clothed to naked & fucking within a minutes notice.

        Dare i say... but when we took things slower, making out/foreplay, cuddling, & laying in bed (call me a fag... its cool) talking... then i was comfortable with fucking her. Kind of wish i wasnt like this though to be honest. Id like to be able just to fuck on the spot.

        [–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (7 children)

        Dont masturbate for a solid 2 weeks and then try to tell me you cant fuck on the spot lmao

        [–]jy432 10 points11 points  (5 children)

        Actually went a month without whacking it. Still didnt work. I think im only turned on by rough sex. Everything else feels robot like. Like a bad porno.

        [–]yungassed 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        They say 90 days is the minimum time required to deprogram your brain from porn. A month won't really do much. Check out the your brain on porn website.

        [–]AliensMakeMeHard 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Y'all are crazy, I wacked it twice since I been here...

        [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

        DEVI. Sex God Method.

        Dominance

        Emotion

        Variety

        Immersion

        [–]1atticusfinch1973 101 points102 points  (6 children)

        Claiming you have been celibate for 18 years - when you're 18 years old. Jesus. Who is upvoting this?

        Good for you for getting laid but don't be so dramatic about it and claim things like your whole life has been a waste. Desperate longing and existential despair are things you shouldn't even be commenting on at this stage of your life because you literally haven't experienced anything yet.

        [–]wineinacoffeemug 33 points34 points  (3 children)

        Came here to comment this. 18 is when you're legally able to start having sex...I wasn't sitting there after playing Beyblades at 9 years old feeling like a bitter incel, so I don't count that time as some sort of loathsome celibacy

        edit to add: I didn't grow up with the internet/social media showing me graphic sexual content from a young age. If younger and younger kids are discussing and doing sexual acts and lewdness is everywhere and on our phones, I can almost see this. Sad though people should just get to be a kid for a while

        [–]UshankaDalek 17 points18 points  (0 children)

        Pshaw, if you don't have an N-count of 18 by age 6, your life has been a waste. /s

        [–]1scissor_me_timbers00 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Lol bitter incel at 9... that’s some dark shit

        [–]SelfTaughtPiano 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        I'm 24 and still a virgin. I feel fine.

        [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 87 points88 points  (2 children)

        Such posts happen from time to time.

        Pussy is like food. Nothing special unless you’re starving.

        Whatever you were longing get used to it. This is a hole we all feel inside. People use god meditation magic thinki g,sex addiction things buying sports etc whatever to fill it.

        My suggestion, get used to it.

        [–]SelfTaughtPiano 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        Whatever you were longing get used to it. This is a hole we all feel inside.

        No, its not.

        The need is a need for intimacy.

        There are countless studies on the subject. And books. The Red Pill pretends that all we want is sex.

        That's not the whole truth.

        The human male DOES have a inbuilt need for intimacy. To know and be known. To have a supporter as we pursue The Best Version of Ourselves (what Maslow called "Self-actualization", the need that comes after the need for sex is fulfilled).

        [–]AgentVague 22 points23 points  (0 children)

        Yoo- get out of here. Sometimes food is fucking delicious.

        [–]Schnisi 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        People tend to overrate things which they can't have. So it's happening with sex. Nevertheless for me personally sex with a woman I know well (or is my GF) feels much more intimate and enjoyable. Doing the act with a girl I know for maybe three or four hours however feels always more like a disappointment in intimacy, passion and pleasure.

        [–]1-Fidelio- 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        The first time you rode a bike, did you get to the end of the street without falling?

        You can get a lot better at sex. You just need practice. There are a lot of things different than fantasy.

        The best is when you're both into each other and know enough to have an idea what the other digs, but not enough that it is still exploratory. And you're both enthusiastic about fulfilling each others perversions.

        Women have to be led into that of course and some are more self aware / open about it than others.

        You know what's better than companionship? Companionship with good sex.

        Once you get a couple under the belt, you stop sweating all the complexity, and start just having fun with it.

        [–]FARTBOX_DESTROYER 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        THIS. No one enjoys that shit the first time. Like anything else, it gets better when you get good at it, and you become more comfortable, and learn what you like and what women like.

        [–]furcryingoutloud 11 points12 points  (3 children)

        I feel like I just walked in on a Christian bible study. WTF is this Sunday school?

        Healthy relationship? I'm going to proceed to tell you youngsters why a healthy relationship can only be had with your right hand, or left, whichever one you favor when jerking off.

        1. People lie

          a. She/he is the only one for me

          b. don't have eyes for anyone else

          c. can't live without you

          d. soulmate <-- not just a lie, a FUCKING lie

          e. she's special <-- unless it's your daughter, it's a lie

          f. did I mention people lie?

        Now for some basic truths about life. At 18, you my friend, whoever that may be, are an idealistic idiot. You just got over the fact that Santa Claus is not real. So you're still looking for the Walt Disney version of life. There is none. It doesn't exist. And shit don't seem to be getting any better. The last marriage I saw that lasted was my grandmother's and my aunt, hell, my mother married 4 times. My father would have been content to stay married all his life, he only married once, old school red pill to the end. My aunt and uncle died one week apart after 75 years of marriage.

        Let's look at my uncle. He had what many of you are probably crooning about right now. When you're done with your deep envious breaths, I'll tell you about his healthy relationship. You know what a man turns into after a few years in an LTR? A worthless, opinion-less, spineless, zero. Overshadowed by everything and anything that comes to the woman's mind. Kids, the house, family, the dog, vacation, car, weddings, barbecues and a list of shit that gains more importance than the man who spends his whole life working to provide for a family who in the end, doesn't give a fuck about him and ignores him to take pictures in front of the Christmas tree. Healthy? Yeah, I bet. Man cave? More like a play room for the little husband to invite his friends over and reminisce about how he used to kill it in high school. After working all your fucking life, you are delegated to one room in the house you paid for in full. Your little haven where you get to sit down and act like your life is perfect.

        Read my post history, I am the first person here arguing about pussy not being the focal point of the Red Pill. But from that, to the Red Pill being the focus of a healthy relationship? What in the flying fuck are you talking about? The Red Pill is to make men truly independent. Bring you to a point that if that perfect little unicorn decides to leave you when you paid off the house, you don't fall apart in a bottle of vodka. A point where your life is not in the hands of a middle aged hag that can decimate you and your life's work in divorce court. Where your children can actually respect you for being a true man, and not mom's sock puppet.

        The goal in life should be to accumulate unconditional love. Yeah, that's right, not love that is based on how you work your zipper or whether you got laid or sucked some pussy. Pure, unabashed, unconditional love. Is it possible from a woman? Sure. But only if you provide her with what she needs and wants, and that, is where the Red Pill comes in. This is when a person loves you and accepts you regardless of what you do or have done. Is this possible? Yes, but not in a relationship formatted in Walt Disney movies and the bible. Sex is just a tool used to keep people in line. It's used by the churches, and all religions. It's everywhere. It's bad. It's satanic, evil. I always laugh at no-fap. Have some self control you fucking idiot.

        The Red Pill is about improving yourself to the point of self containment. Where you don't have to give anything up to have love. Where you don't have to sacrifice your soul to belong. Where you get to make choices. Where you have the independence that keeps your balls in your crotch and not in your wife's clutches.

        Having said all this, there is nothing wrong with the man that decides to turn in his men's clubhouse card and join the ranks of the sightless, quiet, clueless men whose lifestyles we're sold like it's the last soda pop in the desert. If that is your choice then so be it. Proud to see you make your choice. But if your going to go all in on a dead bedroom, keep your mouth shut -- I don't want to hear a peep out of you -- shut up and go to work relationship, do it knowing exactly what you are giving up. This is what the Red Pill is about.

        For those of you wondering what is so good about sex. Pussy can be a live fleshlight, or you can turn sex in the exploration of the whole woman. Use her to jerk off or make a hobby out of knowing what makes them tick. Foreplay. Make them cum. Learn how to make them squirt. Learn how to slowly and assuredly take that ass when others have not been able to or have had to take it by force. Instead, have her beg for it. Sex is not jerking off into a pussy. It is so much more than that, Make love to every woman you get into bed. Make her your companion for that day. Love her, hug her, spoon her. Fuck her, come on her tits, make her swallow your cum, but give her pleasure in return. Sex will become more than you ever thought it would be. Stop jerking off inside pussy.

        Now go, downvote this comment, and enjoy your lives.

        [–]Satou4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Thank you. I hope to be capable of that life in a few years. Still need to work on myself first. If you have a youtube channel or podcast, maybe I'd listen to some videos. PM me with the link if it exists.

        [–]ebaymasochist 19 points20 points  (22 children)

        I'm gonna take a guess here.. You're 18 years old and have flirted with a lot of women but only fucked one... Either you are some kind of saint, or you have watched a lot of porn in the last 4 or five years..

        I'm not judging you for that. It's pretty standard these days. And it causes a lot of problems like what you described. Cut porn out of your life and sex will be much better. Men are visual oriented about sex. You may have not penetrated before but seeing naked women is like 75% of the enjoyment, so it's like you already have all these reference experiences to judge the real thing against, which dulls the intensity.

        Your brain will adjust

        [–]theseeker24[S] 17 points18 points  (7 children)

        I agree, excessive porn usage over the past few years has definitely desensitized me to the actual act

        [–]ebaymasochist 24 points25 points  (6 children)

        Seriously just stop watching now at all costs and you will have the world on a silver platter. The alternative is pretty fucked up.. I saw some amateur porn that changed my life.. There were three smoking hot bisexual girls in this dorm, with these three lucky guys. Not a single one of them were able to get hard.. These poor girls were trying the best they could, really putting in the work, for like ten minutes, and still not a hard dick in the room.. So they gave up on the guys and just took care of each other, while the guys sat there in shame, watching these three girls go at it right in front of them.

        Don't be one of those guys

        [–]jy432 5 points6 points  (6 children)

        Question... i feel almost disgusted by sex. But i want to have sex. A quick hook up for me i cant fucking get hard & its just like wtf is this. This is weird. It feels so robot-like & like a bad porno.

        If i take things slower, lay in bed with a girl/cuddle whatever. Then im fine because it feels more natutal.

        How to change my perception of sex? I want to be able to fuck on the spot. Just more practice?

        [–]PsychedelicDentist 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        Sex is an unconscious act. If you are young and having those kind of problems, then you have an unconscious issue with sex. Maybe its not fully embracing your own sexuality, or maybe its not fully embracing a womens sexuality - take all judgement out of it. Have a read of 'The way of the superior man' - I found it insightful

        [–]ebaymasochist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Why do you want to be able to fuck on the spot? That was useful when cavemen had to knock up their cavewife without getting eaten by a lion..

        Go ahead and get comfortable with the girl.. I love sex but had a few times I could have fucked girls I just met and couldn't rush it. Maybe subconsciously you know that it's a big risk(preg., STD, etc.) to take and want to know her better, even for just a few more minutes.

        Do what works for you, now, and once you get more experience, maybe it will change, but I don't see how you can just decide to change how your dick works

        [–]Wherewereyouin62 5 points6 points  (3 children)

        So if I cut out porn now, a year or two later sex will be much better?

        [–]ebaymasochist 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        A week or two later, sex will be much better

        [–]eaazzy_13 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Less than that. Maybe a month or two. I haven’t watched any porn that doesn’t have my own dick in it for years and it has done me very well.

        [–]A_solo_tripper 7 points8 points  (6 children)

        Way to go!

        And yes, companionship is good too. Hit her up if you want to kick it with her on a non-sexual level- if you want to. And see if there is something more you can build together.

        Maybe you were her first too. Who knows?

        [–]theseeker24[S] 4 points5 points  (5 children)

        She said her body count was 8, including me. I’m debating hitting her up to chi but I’m still somewhat ambivalent about it.

        [–]Riversfomo 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        This may come as a shock, but people aren’t always honest about n count.

        [–]Morphs_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Congrats on losing your v-card. There are a couple of things to take into account which should put your experience in a more positive context, at least over time it will.

        Sex can be VERY enjoyable, more so than your best masturbation sessions. But sex is a skill that you need to develop. I would strongly advice you to stop watching porn and severely reduce masturbation. Your brain will respond best to either one of those, and sex is the preferred one I assume.

        Second, the chemistry differs per chick. It doesn't need to be there for sex to be fun, but it's likely only going to be a ONS then. You had huge expectations about sex, and you got some reality in your face. That's ok, but your experience isn't the complete reality either.

        So go ahead and fuck more chicks, get some momentum going. Develop skill sexual practice. Learn. This stuff is hugely interesting and we are like scientists.

        [–]3CainPrice 17 points18 points  (2 children)

        Don't conflate sex and love. Sex and love can go together, but they don't have to.

        Sex is a need. Just like you might stop for a burger on the way home from class if you're hungry, you might arrange a hook-up that night if you're horny. Hook-ups are like the fast food of sex. It fills the need when you're horny.

        Sure, the gourmet meal of true love and exquisite love-making is better than a clumsy hook-up with some college slut, but those are few and far between. Just like you eat a lot of burgers and not a lot of 200$ ribeyes.

        The cool thing about sex, though, is that you get to cook your own burgers. If you didn't like something about the sex, you can fuck differently and better next time. You can try all kinds of things with hook-up partners that you'd never try with a serious girlfriend since you're not going to see these girls again most of the time anyway. This is your time to learn how to fuck, learn how girls work, learn how guys work, learn how the game works, and become the kind of guy who can navigate the real world once you're out of college.

        [–]bitcoin1188 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        'Learn how guys work' *pause

        [–]Oliverott 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        When I was your age I fantasized about almost every woman I encountered and jerked off thinking about her, now I am double your age and when I have sex I try to remember it so I can jerk off to the thought of it later, alone in peace and enjoy it.

        Sad?

        That's life in a feminist dystopia.

        [–]BurningOrangeHeaven 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        Why did you keep saying 18 years as if you were trying to fuck since 1 years old? Really threw me off with that idk why haha.

        [–]theseeker24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yeah I could have reworded that in retrospect.

        [–]1scissor_me_timbers00 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        Lol ok Holden Caulfield.

        For one, 18 is not that old to lose your virginity as a guy. 16-19 is pretty standard.

        Secondly, you weren’t living in existential despair for your full 18 years. You weren’t suffering as a 7 year old because you weren’t getting laid. More likely you have 3-4 years of not too uncommon adolescent dry dick.

        Now go wrangle some more fresh teen college puss for the rest of us too old for that scene.

        [–]Afrodiziak 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Dude, you're 18. That's hardly "18 years of celibacy", and tbh I'm totally for you sowing your wild oats. Uni is a time to experiment and learn about yourself, but just giving your virginity away to the first broad you meet won't make you feel suddenly any more special or virile; just more experienced at having sex. Hell, I hate one night stands for that reason. Sex is empty without having chemistry to go along with it, and when you actually know someone well the sex can be fairly amazing. Awkward sex with a stranger is trash, but have fun in Uni bro :)

        [–]onemanfortress 7 points8 points  (6 children)

        Lets see if i can help you. You put too much expectations and effort into it. Then of course you were disappointed. You are worshipping women because of all the indoctrination and bullshit society fed you, making you associate pussy with success, alcohol and money, just to make you a slave. Sure sex is good, but thats about it... As for companionship, i would not rely on the companionship of a woman who has no biological evolution regarding loyalty and reciprocity.

        They are purely sex objects, and its due to the gradual decline in testosterone in men worldwide in the past century, that we are forgeting our true nature and therefore settling for less - not settling for less in the context of HB1-10, but doing lots of bullshit and being circus monkeys for women.

        Just the fact that you are drinking to get laid, and counting the years you didnt get laid is already a pretty bad indicator of the status quo.

        As for companionship you need hobbies, a team, a gang, a religion (not a religion in the sense of god), but you need something to stand that you value more than any bullshit society pushes on you, so to keep you free. Before that how can you even have those expectations? How can you expect to be loved if you dont love yourself. Kind of autistic if you ask me...

        So no, women value is skyrocketed artificially through male disposability. Have we gone back to the caveman times and all of you would be pumping and dumping or just ignoring the weaker and dumber gender, because of priorities and standards, with little to no effort. And they would be sucking your dick for the taste of it. Instead all men have collectively quit, and lowered their standard, and will degenerate into whatever women demand you to be. If they expect you to be ripped dude 6 pack full time, you will even have eating disorders and injured yourself in the gym. You would say what is wrong with that right? Only the strong survive... But what if women suddenly demand that not only you have that but also you dont mind polyamory...there you go. Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

        Never expect companionship from a woman, you evolved to obtain companionship from the tribe and the gang, the pack, woman companionship is weakness. Remember what i told you, because if you have an LTR in the future you will arrive at this conclusion. And also check MGTOW.

        [–]simplisticallysimple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        This is the most level-headed response in this thread full of beta comments.

        [–]FullOfShiznit 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        Well my first time (I was 17 almost 18 years old) quite the opposite. I had the wow effect so I made her my fuck buddy for the next 2 years, she was hot and sex with her was perfect even in comparison to my recent LTRs But unlike most of the People around here, after those two years (actually earlier) I got that feeling inside me to move on and get some 'real girl' Don't know if it was a natural reaction or the family conditioning but yeah maybe you're not so much into sex or your testosterone is low or you're simply more balanced than me, but dude, I almost exploded when I done my first few weeks with her several times a day, every day, that's why I find your reaction pretty fascinating. Or the bond wasn't quite there, I knew my first girl very well so maybe that? Maybe the wrong play style? Or her smell ? Or she was to silent ? Or your body didn't like her pheromones?

        [–]theseeker24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Trust me, the experience was enjoyable from a purely physical standpoint,as I got to experiment with different sexual positions that I previously fantasized about. Emotionally, I didn’t feel like it was all that I had envisioned it when I was younger and frustrated with being sexually inexperienced.

        [–]monadyne 3 points4 points  (3 children)

        There is a psychological phenomenon called PCD, or "Post Coital Depression" / "Post Coital Dysphoria" where, immediately after orgasm in a sexual encounter, a person's mood plummets. "Dysphoria" is the opposite of "euphoria" which suggest what Post Coital Dysphoria must feel like. The cause of PCD is not definitively known. It may arise out of someone's personal feelings about their experience, or, considering how the act of sex involves dramatic hormonal changes and perhaps changes in the neurochemicals that regulate emotions, PCD may be a result of the disruption of normal neurochemistry.

        Let's bear in mind, OP, that this was your very first sexual encounter. You have a long life of being a sexual person ahead of you. You need to have a number of sexual encounters before you can begin reasonably to draw any conclusions about the meaning of your own sexuality.

        Also, OP, as an 18 year old man, you were raised in the era where each individual child was viewed as a "special snowflake" whose feelings were to be respected and protected from harm. A great deal of emphasis was placed upon your not ever being made to feel "uncomfortable." Well, if that was the case in your upbringing, it may have done a great disservice to you. Many of the rewards a man achieves in his life are gained only after having disregarded his level of comfort and/or threshold for pain. This is where phrases like, "Man up!" "Grow a pair!" and "Suck it up!" are invoked, to help someone reach within himself for inspiration toward action that discounts or even ignores entirely his own feelings of comfort or even safety. To cite an illustration: no one is actually happy to be in a foxhole, or comfortable there. But if it means enough to you to protect your family or home or culture or country from aggressors, you will choose to lie in a cold, damp foxhole time and again until the threat has been overcome.

        Many times, the attainment of a goal requires putting oneself in harm's way, risking loss, risking even personal harm. It may require doing something we simply do not want to do. We know we'll feel utterly miserable, completely unhappy. This is an area where a lesser known application of IDGAF is warranted: "You know what? I Don't Give A Fuck about how I feel. My attention is on the mission, the objective. Yeah, it's gonna suck, doing what I need to in order to accomplish my goal. So what! It's gotta be done, and that's all that matters."

        It's helpful to have friends cut from the same cloth in these circumstances. Rather than cheering you on, they'll bust your balls. "Don't be a little faggot! Just do it!" (whatever the noxious task is.) "Go on, man. I'll hold your tampons for ya!" You join them in laughing at your own discomfort or pain---as you disregard it and soldier on.

        If you've grown up in an overly feminized family, school or culture, this mindset may be completely unfamiliar to you and seem, in fact, crazy. Your every hurt has been coddled, and you've been sympathized with through every trauma. The journey to self-discovery as a man will necessitate leaving the "my feelings matter" mindset behind. The truth is, yes, they matter... just not that much.

        Sorry for this long-winded explanation, OP, but I thought perhaps these were concepts you might be unfamiliar with, and which may serve you well, since you are at an age where your adventure is just beginning. Keep having sexual encounters. If you have negative or puzzling feelings, note them, be aware of them... but don't give them any authority over you. With more experience, you'll eventually learn to know what's right for you.

        [–]theseeker24[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Thanks for the response. I believe in practicing stoicism and gradual desensitization to discomfort. However, I don’t subscribe to the notion that you have to suppress your emotions in a vain attempt to be perceived as masculine. Call me a pussy all you want, but at the end of the day if I want to do something, I’ll do it, regardless if someone tells me to ‘grow a pair’.

        [–]monadyne 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        at the end of the day if I want to do something, I’ll do it, regardless if someone tells me to ‘grow a pair’.

        Actually, my point was about doing things you don't want to do ...but hey, you do you, OP.

        [–]theseeker24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        When I say that that also includes doing things that are uncomfortable.

        [–]thewrecker8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        After 18 years of desperate longing and existential despair due to being sexually inexperienced, having sex for the first time was nothing like I thought it would be. Was the girl hot? Absolutely. Was the sex good? Not really. It wasn’t as physically enjoyable as I fantasized about, and I wasn’t left feeling validated.

        As others have said having sex to feel validated isn't what it's about. Often sex with a new person can feel awkward. Let alone losing your virginity. You'll find, in time, sexual chemistry is the bigger component. Also when you're more comfortable in general with a girl and the chemistry between you is good. That's when sex becomes more than assisted masturbation. You know what she likes, she knows what you like and you're both pushing all the right buttons. Like anything new there's a certain awkwardness. Take driving a car. If you've never driven one you're clumsy and unsure. Even driving something different than you're used to like a bigger vehicle. You're more cautious and nervous in certain spots. Then once your settled in and know the car everything flows. And you go from cautious and nervous to driving down the highway at 80 mph steering with your knees while your putting hot sauce on a taco while eating.

        [–]cigar1975 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        My first time was at 17, with a girl that was very unskilled. It was messy, sticky and honestly, TERRIBLE. I went through a phase of complete existential dread, I wondered if I was gay.
        I dated her for about 6 months, and we had pretty good chemistry, but the sex was just terrible. It got better, and approached something decent. I ended up moving on and was a bit of a fucking loser, and banged most of her friends and then her enemies. Sex was just a weapon, and I never cared for it much. It was just "what you had to do" Few years later I ended up falling for a girl that took my breath away, I loved everything about her. She taught me how good sex could be, she had me edging for hours.. She was my first wife.

        My point, as muddy as it is, comes down to just enjoy the rest of your teens and twenties, but keep your eyes open, you will most likely find someone you adore. I sure hope you do!

        [–]toolate4redpill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        You just described every guy's first sex encounter. That's IT?

        [–]WiseBeardy 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        Welcome to drunk one night stands!

        [–]BobSagetV2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        I'm in the same boat. My right hand can do better than most women, but that feeling of validation, importance, and companionship is what (most) men are really after. TRP preaches minimizing the impact of these (i.e. stoicism) in order to live a more fulfilling life, but everyone needs it sometimes.

        [–]RedPlanetMan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        That realization, at the very end, don't lose sight of it.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

        [–]theseeker24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I’m touched my post resonated with you.

        [–]pipre23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        why feel self conscious? its normal to lose your virginity at 18.

        people who have sex younger than 16 is not healthy. yes cavemen had sex at young ages but that never means it was healthy.

        [–]Guardian_of_Justice 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Dude u had sex at 18 this is NORMAL i had mine at 19 with a prostitute. A lot of people think 18 is too late by looking at successful peers have sex at 14-16. In reality there are some hot girls and boys who had sex after 18. So, don't beat yourself too hard about it i guess. Don't compare your apples to someones pineapples.

        [–]februaryrich 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Same boat here man. I was okay-looking then became sort of good-looking enough to get women’s attention. Enough to get ONS every now and then but I realized I don’t even enjoy the sex. Worse part is the clarity after you cum

        [–]52andjacked 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I was that way. I did the girlfriend thing first in high school and college so I kind of got spoiled with the whole intimacy thing. For me, once I got a taste of intimate sex, a ONS wasn't fulfilling for anything but padding my ego. Where I made my mistake was fucking my way into finding my unicorn at age 32. By this time I had hard and fast rules about what I considered acceptable for a long term relationship. One of those things was that I didn't want a woman who slept around or went to clubs on any kind of regular basis. Call me hypocritical if you wish but that was a line I would not cross. No way. No how. I didn't care how good she looked , how good she was in bed, or if she was "reformed". Problem was after sleeping with 60 plus and messing around with a dozen others I couldn't offer the same package that I demanded. I got lucky and found my unicorn who ended up grilling me on MY past. Lol. She got over it but my point if that even though I had the numbers of a player I really wasn't a player at heart. I just wanted companionship with someone I loved, respected and trusted. Keep in mind when I met my wife in 1998, internet dating was in its infancy so I had to old school it with women. If I were a young person today I would go on a respectable dating website, hunt for my unicorn, and bring to the table myself what I expected in my future wife. Instead, I tried to be something that I wasn't.

        [–]Xexitar 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        "18 years of celibacy" doesn't count if you're 18 years old bro. That's not how celibacy works.

        [–]ToryTosh1922 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Men rarely feel happy after sex.

        I firmly believe in the benefits of semen retention. Sure, it might be a placebo, but it damn well works for me.

        I don't masturbate, and I try not to ejaculate more than once a week when I get laid. That provides a good balance for me personally

        [–]HierEncore 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        This means you are a healthy and wholesome male specimen. What kind of human male would be driven to spread his seed without the assurance that he will be around to raise and guide his offspring? A lousy one... One with no pride and no self respect... Even chickens and ducks are naturally compelled to stick around after insemination

        [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points  (3 children)

        Maybe it wasn’t sex I was longing for, but companionship

        You've identified the problem right there. Sex won't feel good while you're trying to use it to fix other problems in your life.

        OP - don't make the mistake of concluding you need a LTR or "female love" or some other disney myth.

        And by the way OP... if you're just starting college now you're likely 18, so this doesn't really count as "18 years of celibacy". You can't start counting your celibacy from birth and then claim you're a reformed incel.

        [–]ebaymasochist 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        As soon as he came out of a vagina, he wanted to go back into one

        [–]1Original_Dankster 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        "After 18 years of desperate longing and existential despair due to being sexually inexperienced..."

        and...

        "Fast forward to the present day, and I’m a freshman in college."

        What sort of fucking perverted infancy and childhood did you have, filled with "existential despair" and "desperate longing" for sex?

        Cut the melodrama. You didn't get laid in high school. Big fucking deal.

        "Was the sex good? Not really."

        Wasn't that good your first time? Well duh. You suck at fucking. Probably because you have no prior experience. Keep practicing you'll get better.

        "Maybe it wasn’t sex I was longing for, but companionship."

        This post belongs in asktrp, not the main sub. You're posing a question here. As a FR it contributes nothing to our community.

        [–]redditrat99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        The redpill can turn into a cesspool of broness sometimes, but it's things like this that make me realize there are still some decent people out there. I have had a couple of one night stands, a few FWB situations, and then relationships, both short and long. While everyone is different, for me, I felt bored and empty during the one night stands. The friends with benefits was more fun, but I only if me and the girl hung out before/after and were actually "friends" not just horny associates. The short relationships were okay, but I always felt dirty afterward and that sex was just what we did. For me, the best sex came in my long term relationships. I also don't mean "best" as it, swinging form the roof, tied hands, screaming orgasms, etc. Those actually came from FWB situations. What I mean is that I felt the happiest, most fulfilled, and not-empty or disgusted during and after sex. It felt good to lay with them and talk about what we wanted to do the next day, planning for the future, cracking jokes, etc.

        It's the difference between "fucking" "having sex" and "Making love". Guys and women today will role their eyes at the last one and yes, they are all mechanically the same, but there are differences in how you feel about it. I fucked my one night stands and fwb, I had sex in my fwb and short term relationships, and I made love in my long term relationships.

        So, it sounds like you want a companion that you can make love to. And to that, I say - good luck. So many women today don't want that, at least not until they are old and worn out. The priorities of the masses have swayed from devotion and consistency to immediate satisfaction and women are the most easily influenced. So, long story short, I know what you are looking for, and I feel sympathy for you as you are starting your search in this day and age.

        [–]RightNeedsMight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Red pill isn't a cherry popping contest. Nor is it a bedpost notch game. Sly gradient was dead on. Red pill is about being your best self and being truly happy with the result of your constant work.

        If you are unsatisfied with drunk ho sex, you should try having sex with a sober ho, or maybe a nice lady who will like you a lot and not ho it up behind your back.

        The idea is to be an actual man, and not just a man only by comparison to some other set of men.

        Congrats on the hb8, but I'm sure you are headed for greater things.

        [–]ace15klos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Just keep going. Once you have a girl who literally -needs- your dick you will feel validated for life, doesn't matter if you lose her after that because she has shown you what you can do and what you can be.

        [–]HumbleRedPillStudent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        That's the truth, man-- to be honest, it's pretty rare that one-night stands are going to be incredible sex (though there are exceptions). Knowing someone, what they like and vice versa really helps. Enjoying their company helps even more.

        Another thing-- don't beat yourself up about "eighteen years of celibacy". If I'm reading your post correctly, you're currently eighteen years old, and I really don't think that's a particularly late time to start your sexual journey.

        [–]jazztaprazzta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        It wasn’t as physically enjoyable as I fantasized about, and I wasn’t left feeling validated. I was left feeling empty. Almost as if the entire interaction was some perversion of intimacy. Maybe it wasn’t sex I was longing for, but companionship.

        Exactly my thoughts after I tried to dig in the promiscuous life-style. I don't know if there's something wrong with me (low T levels probably?), but I am not enjoying the hook-up culture one bit.

        [–]gorebwn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        The game is 100x more exciting than the sex

        [–]volvostupidshit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Watch out for chicks with Borderlines, OP. They unconsciously prey on guys that are desperate of getting laid. One thing to note from them is their oversharing of info like how they got molested before on the first date. Don't over commit.

        [–]Hijaltekornig 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Good job mate, and dont worry.

        First sexual experiences are usually not amazing ones. Specifically if it was not a casual one, and if you had used condom.

        In addition, our generations watch a lot of porn and jerk off a lot, consequently there is also some desensitization.

        [–]s29 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        This more or less happened to me as well.

        Had sex later than most. It was meh for me. Now I'm much more interested in improving myself. Women bore me for the most part now.
        Guess I need to find higher value women because so far I haven't been all that interested in what they have to offer.

        [–]-uftw- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Dude, if you've been jerking off like mad for years it's no surprise that this new kind of physical interaction on your dick is not going to feel great at first.

        Trust me it gets better, just keep practicing. You're at the start of a very long & pleasurable journey. Over time you'll also discover a lot of stuff about yourself, likes & dislikes, etc... trust me some shit feels great, but I'll let you find out what it is for you.

        BTW sex is also mentally very satisfying, knowing you "conquered" that new hot chick and you can permanently write her name on your all time list. That's the hunter in you manifesting itself.

        [–]jonpe87 6 points7 points  (3 children)

        " I wasn’t left feeling validated."

        Here you go, you don't want companionship, what you want is the feeling of being desired. This is the big difference between men and boys, Alpha/Beta, Strong frame and weak Frame whatever you want, and the funny fact is once you get rid of it you become a pussy magnetic. EDIT: I know you will ask how do you get rid of it, have a purpose greater than women.

        [–]theseeker24[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        I knew that I was chasing validation, but I thought that was only obtainable through companionship, which was obtained via superficial sex.

        [–]jonpe87 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        I know but that is not healthy, casual sex can be good too if you see it by what it is, just don't get in the mental trap that now you need only "The Good Sex", or you can lost a lot of opportunity in life, I did it and I regret.

        [–]theseeker24[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I’m not opposed to future one-time hookups. I guess I just had greater expectations for how it would play out.

        [–]OilyB 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Repetition is what does the trick, OP. Talk to you again after banging 5-10 times. Your body will amazingly tune into the mind-body connection and you'll have conditioned it to seek your form of satisfaction.

        Secondly - as I taught my 15yo boy. The skeleton/gist of good, wholesome sex is comparable to a long ass hug from someone you like, trust and know. All the rest is dressing. Good dressing, but dressing.

        So don't give up. Look for an agreeable, sweet, slutty, willing candidate/plate to spin and it'll all work out.

        And last, do not fall in love only because she fucks you good! Good dressing does not equate a good salad!

        Edit - good wholesome

        [–]That_Deaf_Guy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        See "The God Hole" post - should be somewhere near yours, as it was posted minutes after yours was.

        [–]theseeker24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I’ll check it out for sure.

        [–]ArdAtak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        What you have to work on now is giving her the type of experience that will keep her coming back for more.

        [–]Nergaal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        You have been celibate right after coming out fo your mom's vagina? Try to be less dramatic pls.

        [–]look_good 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        lol, you realized a vagina is nothing but a wet hole. congrats on the sex, continually strive to be better

        [–]ricoue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I had a similiar experience. I got my dick sucked in college after I lost weight and it felt so... meaningless.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Don't let it spook you. It gets better. First bang is almost never magical. You realize confetti doesn't shoot out of your dick and her pussy isn't made of cheesecake factory cheesecake. It's an alien-looking rod ramming into a gaping hole until it barfs into a condom. You got your foot in the door, which is important; build from there. It will get better and it will have meaning. Now you know what you're actually looking for.

        [–]Spets87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        What is this shit 18 years of celibacy? You're barely an adult, now go lift.

        [–]_Last_Man_Standing_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I know dude... I felt exactly like that when I lost my virginity... but it get's better with experience... ;)

        ps.
        next week I'm going back to college after 6 years... :)
        can't wait for the college girls....

        [–]DevilMayCry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        That’s because sex ain’t shit. We put sex on a pedestal but in reality there are many things in life that are more fulfilling. When you reach a point in your life when you can have sex anytime you want you will realize that it’s not a priority for you anymore and you will be able to focus your energy on more productive activities.

        [–]U-94 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Did you faintly hear the devil laughing after you finished? /Schopenhauer

        [–]PleasantlyObnoxious 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Are you serious? “18 years of celibacy”... must have been so hard to go without sex for those 10 years when you in elementary school. And that one year when you couldn’t even stand on your own must have been real hell.

        [–]careofKnives 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Username does not check out

        [–]SteveStJohn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Everything you felt is valid. You are one step closer to fulfillment. There are many steps, and TRP can help you avoid the pitfalls.

        [–]WhatRemainsAfter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        There is a reason why fucking is brutal.

        [–]Gingham_Argile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Yeah, I heard a statistic that more and more young people are turning to porn.

        The outcome is that it is more difficult to separate the show form the real thing. I'm not saying this guy fits the statistic, but when it comes to the real thing porn isn't helping. The thing about feeling like it was a preversion of intimacy got me to thinking about one or two things that might be the cause for that.

        Sex through the eyes of the directer is just that. A pervered view of the real thing, staring mostly actors.

        Hey bud, you should be glad that you are living in a day and age where young women are smashing like that more frequently.

        All and all. Congrats on your first smash!

        Always come with two or three condoms (never know when it will turn out to be a two fer) and no matter what... Do not hit it without a sock on the pickle. Not everything is fixed with a 💊.

        [–]CongenialYi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        emotions are what makes sex enjoyable, especially for women and even for men. otherwise its just putting ur dick in a hole for a few minutes.

        [–]potatorockstar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        well its always empty it was not the specific girl or day. find peace in solitude to find peace with women. women can merely support you walking yuor own path, if you find a decent one.

        [–]JohnIan101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Maybe it wasn’t sex I was longing for, but companionship.

        As we get older, this becomes a greater truth. Sex, absolutely - but less dominate as we age closer to the grave. Good companionship takes its place.

        And if you're fortunate, a good woman or women; life is pleasurable thing, amidst so much BS and immobile griefs.

        It's a good thing you're learning this now. Seek out the ladies for your bed, but seek out the greater ones for companionship.

        [–]1randomperson123321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Sex with a partner you're not "in love" with, is as good as when eating food you despise.
        Starvation is the point of doing so. The difference however, is that with food you will eat it when in times of need, while with sex you can masturbate instead, unless physically unable to.

        [–]DropDeadTyrant 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        i dont even want sex. i just want to grab someone's ass and hold a hand.

        [–]AtlasGhost 2 points3 points  (3 children)

        That is what I call a black pill. You earned my respect, I think most of us feel like that, including females and so on. At the end is about not dying alone

        [–]theseeker24[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        Thanks man. Can you elaborate on what a black pill is?

        [–]AtlasGhost 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        A extreme version of a redpill. The black pill is that once youve lost your virginity and think your goal has been acomplished you noticed that behind it there´s a more brutal truth: no matter how much you fuck, at the end you would feel empty because every pussy is the same if there is no love.

        [–]doctorcoolpop 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        Not ‘deduct,’ deduced. Because of your spelling errors, you will never enjoy sex

        [–]theseeker24[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Thanks grammar police. I can thank autocorrect for that egregious error.

        [–]doctorcoolpop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        a good workman never blames his tools

        [–]UnluckyPenguin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I wasn’t left feeling validated. I was left feeling empty.

        As someone that's in the top 20% # of partners and now married, you crave both one-off/exciting/hot-and-steamy sex as well as intimate/comfortable/regular sex with different women. Basically, if you want a specific girl, you should go for her or you'll always ask yourself "what if?".

        Your first time should be with someone who is also having their first time. Frankly as an alpha, you should be the first guy for your first several partners. You'll always remember it. You don't have to plan on marrying the girls, but at least get along with them so you can narrow down what LTR-material looks like.

        No 1 relationship can maintain an 'over-the-top exciting' sex life like choking, being tied up, put in handcuffs, and spanked. It's fun and everyone should experience it just like they should experience all the different races the world has to offer.

        You should be able to look at other hot girls and say, "Been there, done that." I don't miss my childhood, and I hope my 2 kids enjoy their younger years like I did.

        [–]enkae7317 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Lol nah bro. Sex is fucking dope. It's not the entire world though. But still fucking great. It was just ur first time dont even stress, once yuo get good you'll be addicted to that shit.

        In a good way. Like hunger, not thirst.

        [–]Ga5zilla 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Maybe you just watch too much porn

        [–]theseeker24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I actually don’t watch porn that much anymore. When I was younger (12-16), different story.

        [–]obossrocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        It seems like alcohol was a major factor in this situation hmmmmm

        [–]benelijah 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Dude! Don't stress it. I also lost my virginity a little late after a few years of looking from "the outside in," meaning watching porn.

        No, the first time wasn't enjoyable and wasn't at all like I thought it would be. I also had doubts similar to you. The second time was better. I quit watching porn, and fast forward a couple of more times and the sex was mind blowing.

        I'd also advise you masturbate less. If you do masturbate, use a condom, lube, and a soft grip. The death grip leads to the death of enjoyment in your sex life.

        [–]theseeker24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I don’t actually masturbate as frequently as I once did. I’m sure with more experience I’ll come to appreciate the joys of sex.

        [–]dsldragon[🍰] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        you prolly got the herps too

        [–]theseeker24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You’re probably right haha

        [–]zeuD13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        So is seeking companionship considered bluepill ? I'm confused.

        [–]victor_knight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        To top it off, she wasn't the virgin (or you would have mentioned it); you were. By the way, sex can be awesome.

        [–]Yourstruly777 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        When you drink wine for the first time, you dont taste it, you don’t particularly enjoy it. Sex is the same, the first time you just hope you won’t mess it up; you don’t really taste it, you won’t really feel it.

        [–]belsnickel222 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        You can’t really call it 18 years of celibacy if you’ve just gone to college at presumably 18.

        [–]suckymeh 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        I expected that post to last only 5 seconds.

        [–]careofKnives 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Even if your best friend was an extremely hot woman and she suddenly wanted to have a relationship it would still not be what you’re fantasizing about. You’d still have to deal with an emotional annoying other person all the time. Do you not have friends? Are they not your companions? I’ve had LTR’s thinking I want companionship exactly like you. I was wrong. I would not wish a girlfriend on my worst enemy tbh. Let alone marriage, oh god the divorce rates and settlements, why people continue doing this despite atrocious well known statistics is beyond me. You fucked, it was quick and easy, that is the optimal scenario.

        load more comments (21 replies)