This 4 chan post was a cause of discussion because of the mixed feelings it generated. Some argued what the OP of this post did was justifiable while others argued it was a form of manipulation and lack of morality. I won’t be discussing whether or not his choice was morally just as that conversation doesn’t belong here in this sub.
Instead, I went over this in a RP sense and try to dissect as much as I can in my analysis of the story. Though the legitimacy of this story is in question, this is my personal breakdown of the story.
Dating girlfriend for 7 months.
It’s just your turn for the past 7 months.
she wants to go this sleazy club with her friend.
Red Flag #1
She wants to go a sleazy club
with that friend, not OP. The fact she brought this up means she was planning to go, but needed a reason to rationalize going. Added in the fact the club scene is a main part of hookup culture, hypergamy and possibly branch swinging are coming into play.
I told her I didn’t want her to go
Biggest turn off in the minds of females. Shows a scarcity mentality and lack of abundance while showing she has a higher SMV than OP. Shows you are lacking the IDGAF that would be evident with abundance. But you can also spin it as OP thinking about the general well-being of said GF in LTR (but we know the female hamster won’t interpret it like this).You can see the conversation goes downhill because of this statement.
Had an argument about it. She was like “You don’t own me and I can do what I want.” and that bullshit.
LOSS OF FRAME
Engaged in argument. Never engage in arguments with women, they’re individuals that feed off emotionally charged conversations, THEIR LOGIC IS A BYPRODUCT OF THEIR FEELING IN THE MOMENT. “You don’t own me and I can do what I want”- she’s not yours, it’s just your turn in clear writing.
Told her if she went I’m breaking up with her
Wasn’t able to change S/O mind in argument and basically gave the ultimatum. Basically a do or die attempt to regain power in the relationship that was drastically being shifted towards the GF. If used correctly, can illustrate abundance mentality but in this case it was used a way to mate guard/scarcity mentality.
She said she wouldn’t go and dropped it.
Sudden change of resistance proves she didn’t drop it, just dropped OP and the conversation.
Haven’t heard from her all day.
You already know why. Hypergamy in progress. Dread being applied by OP GF.
At 4AM on Sunday she calls me crying
Random or sudden change in emotions whether it be positive or negative are another red flag to be cautious of. In OPs case, after a day of no contact prior to argument is definitely a huge one.
She says she got raped and beat up
No one should be raped and/or beat up. In this case, this statement was used to invoke white knight feelings in OP.
She went to the club anyway. Apparently she left alone with some guy and his friend to go to a party. They took her somewhere and beat her up and raped her.
Poor decision making leads to the unfortunate
She went to the club with said friend after saying she wouldn’t. Found two males that fit her criteria of AF and proceeded to leave. The unfortunate happened and she ended up raped and traumatized. OP wanted to avoid this altogether by her not going to said club. This is sadly the result of poor judgement. Friend is also to be in question as well.
Had many feelings about this, none of them positive.
Nothing surprising here. OP GF lied to him, went behind his back and did the opposite of what she said. She left with two other males and ended up getting raped. All these being processed at once would leave most in disarray.
I told her if she went to the club I’d leave her and I told her we were over.
OP stayed true to his nuclear option of leaving her. He held frame in accordance to his statement.
She started freaking out and saying she needs me now and she was sorry.
OP ex had to go through this incident to realize what he was doing for her own safety. As tragic as it is, if she never went through this, there most likely would never be a conversation of her going to the club or ever apologizing. This only came out because she needs him at the moment.
Told her to never call me again.
Follow through of nuclear option. No contact applied.
Have been getting rabid hate from her friends and my friends think I was way too cold.
Female shame tactics being applied to OP even though he stated what would happen if she went to the club and white knight friends also taking the side of ex after everything.
She broke my trust, went somewhere I said not to, probably was going to end up cheating on me anyway and got raped and beaten over it and I’m suppose to feel sorry for her.
What OP said above are indeed good points. It’s pretty fucked up knowing OP doesn’t feel bad for her but at the same time he’s not obligated to. He gave his reasons why he doesn’t feel bad and his conclusion was that she willing to do the opposite of everything he advised not to do, she isn’t entitled to his empathy.
EDITED FOR REPOST