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Red Pill TheoryTension (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 2chazthundergut

TLDR- sexual attraction comes from tension and not comfort. Successful men are comfortable around uncomfortable women.

Men are conditioned to always relieve tension whenever we are around women.

We mistakenly think that a woman must feel comfortable with us to be attracted. However, sexual energy does not come from comfort, but from tension between masculine and feminine poles.

An analogy about tension comes from chess. In chess, there is sometimes a build up of tension. If you capture my bishop I'll capture your knight ... this can build up to a chain of many pieces ... inexperienced players try to relieve this tension and often will be the one to start "trading down" pieces. The experienced player is comfortable with the build up of tension on the board because they can keep track of it. They are in control. When a player starts trading down, it shows their anxiety and gives the final initiative to the player more comfortable with tension.

It is kind of like this with chicks. Being comfortable with tension signals that you are in control of your frame and grounded in your own reality. Also that you are not intimidated by her (this is important). Here are some examples of tension-building situations so you can see what I mean:

  1. Silence or lull in the conversation
  2. Time since you've last been in contact
  3. Arguments or disagreements (especially when emotionally charged)

In addition, women will naturally ratchet up the tension to see how you react. Sometimes indadvertantly.

  1. She shit tests you
  2. She says something expecting validation. "I hate the way this dress makes me look"
  3. She indicates that you've done something wrong and now she's pissed off "I cant believe the way you were talking to our waitress"

I can't think of more off the top of my head but basically here is the rule: any time you feel the urge to smooth things over or make her feel more comfortable, resist the urge!

When you pass a shit test, you are essentially taking the tension she put on you and turning it into sexual energy. This is why I like shit tests so much- they are indicators of interests and a good example of a chick (subconsciously) adding tension to your dynamic. Since tension is sexual energy, this should not be seen as a negative. You don't try to avoid the tension by defending yourself against her shit test. Instead you add tension, and you pull her back into your stronger better frame.

Sexual energy comes from tension. Do not turn away from it and do not try to relieve it. Instead, let it build. When you demonstrate comfort with tension, you communicate to her that your frame is stronger than hers, that you are not afraid of losing her, and that you are comfortable enough with sexual energy to give her a good dicking down.

Patrice O'Neal once said "you have to be comfortable with animosity from females" ... so many men are terrified of pissing off women, terrified of saying the wrong thing or upsetting them. Don't be. Women feed off of emotions. Let her rage and let her storm. Do not capitulate to her. Let the tension build. Why do you think make-up sex is so explosive?

Once you've become comfortable sitting with tension, you can start having fun with it. Now you can start adding tension yourself to increase sexual energy. Here are some tension-adding behaviors that men can do:

  1. Tease her
  2. Touch her
  3. Withdraw your attention

You get the picture. Most of this is pretty simple TRP stuff (I'm not coming up with anything new here) but I encourage you guys to get comfortable being uncomfortable around women. Show her how relaxed you are around sexual tension and it will increase her interest.

Lastly a technical note: push/ pull is important for this. Don't go full on tension it will backfire like being full on comfort. Shift between building tension, relieving it a little, and then building it more. She does need some comfort to fuck you. Also this does not apply to comfort tests.

Thanks for reading. Good luck guys.


[–]821sleepingbag 193 points194 points  (11 children)

Part of being okay with approaching and gaming women is accepting the fact you have to make them uncomfortable. Accept that, relish it and flourish.

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

Very well said I wish I had understood this sooner.

Actually even the act of approaching a chick is a very tension-building bahavior. Spot on.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (9 children)

I've only recently been able to make my wife feel really uncomfortable in terms of our relationship and my thoughts and intentions. Dread game is starting to work. It feels awesome to not be in her frame at those times. She can stew in it and I'm loving it.

[–]PM_ME_UR_SOLES_GIRLL 49 points50 points  (7 children)

The odd thing is from a blue pill perspective they'd be saying "How can you put her through those emotions forcibly to get what you want!", not realizing that she WANTS those emotions, that build-up to the inevitable excitement. It's probably why women love drama in their social circles so much.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (5 children)

I feel really fortunate to have found the red pill. So much of all of it makes sense now.

Along with these realizations comes the one that the vast majority of people aren't privy to this knowledge, and thus must be handled somewhat gently.

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 26 points27 points  (1 child)

TRP really is like secret knowledge.

But it isn't enough.

You have the secret blueprint for success, but you still need to put in the work

The true core of TRP is self-transformation. Become the prize. And this takes time.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm definitely finding this.

In terms of my life in general, and my relationship (as of today), I've had some easy noob gainz, but the road is long and must be followed with a plan and perseverance.

[–]PM_ME_UR_SOLES_GIRLL 17 points18 points  (2 children)

I started going out having a couple shots of vodka and acting like a cocky asshole, and those were the only times I ever got women grinding on my crotch and giving me kisses as I left. Believe me, I tried improving and self-studying, and improving my personality while trying an array of tactics. And yes, I've learned a lot from self-reflection and watching others. And what I've learned is that having a ruling personality gets you women, they flock to it like a magnet - they inherently want a dominator, just like we inherently want large breasts and small feet ;)

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Wish I had been able to internalize that in my 20s.

Except I like little breasts. Handfuls. My wife is 38 and breastfed two kids and her tits are still awesome.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its hilarious actually... I've just started dancing on the dance floor enjoying myself letting my presence take up space and women come and grind on me.. its funny. Just letting your energy expand and having fun and they come..

[–]SKRedPill 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The Blue Pill's oft repeated mistakes :

  1. That women actually have a reliably strong frame - nah, they're closer to liquid than solid state. Their inconsistency is only a problem when you defer the frame to them. Their beliefs are very malleable.
  2. That they mean what they say - nope, only what they do. What she says is like the weather. She's a mystery even to herself. No matter what she says when calm, once her emotions are agitated, all that will go out the window.
  3. That they are objective - nope, they're for real, but only in that moment. Her base is in feeling even if she thinks a lot. Change that and you have a whole other animal.
  4. That emotions are reasonable - nope, only manipulable. In fact her emotions are a contest between a lot of different feelings. You just focus them into the one you need.
  5. Over the whole issue of 'forcing' - the only issue ever was a lack of attraction. The same girl who complains about men when not aroused won't even wait for you to get going when attracted. It is that fluid.

In fact, TRP truths are quite clear and natural to your body and subconscious. It is only this messing up of our rational belief system that claims that biology is wrong that has fucked a generation of men.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck yeah brother. Dread game is so powerful... it literally puts a chemical cocktail of dread inside her stomach and her thighs... and she will do anything to keep you and get rid of that feeling once she feels that dread.

[–]1redhawkes 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Don't go full on tension it will backfire like being full on comfort.

To put it simple, always keep her swinging on the edge between validation and rejection.

[–]omega_dawg93 72 points73 points  (5 children)

important stuff here. my friends are always mad at me for not kissing-up to cute girls in public.

i approach them like they're human females... the ones that are just like the ones i've had before and got tired of eventually.

side note: guys, stop acting like blonds with blue eyes and big tits are walking goddesses. these are EXACTLY the types you build tension with over time. they are used to guys kissing their asses and supplicating. when you make them feel average and normal-which most of them are-they give-in quick.

[–]Mangasbzo7 40 points41 points  (2 children)

fuck blondes with blue eyes.

caramel skinned latinas with long jet black hair and cute asses = hnnnnng

[–]cumfortably_dumb 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You definitely get his point.

[–]snowdope 13 points14 points  (0 children)

There you go. My fucking nigga

[–]randomTATRP 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I just can't help myself with blondes. I rarely see blondes with bad looking faces. I may be biased, but...

There is a song in my country that goes: 'I don't want brunette, I don't want black, what can I do when I love blonde.' :D

[–]3whatsthisgarg 88 points89 points  (2 children)

some examples of tension-building situations

I'll give you some more.

Jealousy. Every woman I've been serious with has had explosive jealousy (I flatter myself), and when I was younger I wasted so much energy trying to defuse that. So stupid. I mean, the jealous rage was extremely unpleasant, I'd do anything to make it go away.

I finally figured out how to use it, but only after I gave less of a shit about how she felt. I would say Oh does that bother you? with a laugh or Are you seriously getting mad at ME because some girl was talking to me? And then we'd fuck, with some of that good hostility and aggression thrown in.

 

In a similar vein, and I've said this a million times on TRP: Don't be afraid of having a woman be mad at you. If I had to pick, I'd say this was my best advice to young men. If a woman does something stupid, tell her it was stupid. If she doesn't want you to do something you want to do, do it anyway.

When she gets mad, ignore, scoff, whatever. Don't assuage her feelings. Stoke them. It doesn't matter that she's experiencing what a normal person would call negative emotions.

 

On the other side of the coin, why does sex drop off after marriage? Frequently, it's because the woman got too comfortable.

 

There is science to back this up. The physiological signs of agitation are identical to those of attraction.

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Yup. We've come to a lot of the same conclusions on this stuff.

I wish I could scream at 23-year-old me:

LetHerBeAngry

You release that tension when you fuck and make her orgasm. Not by trying to comfort her with promises of loyalty.

[–]SKRedPill 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She might start shit testing you over how much you love her -- damn, I failed to understand this for like ever, until TRP. Now I realize that you just escalate so intensely she can't think anymore, and voila - win-win.

[–]ToryTosh1922 39 points40 points  (3 children)

Great post. Does anyone else read TRP and cringe at everything they did wrong in previous relationships when they were BP'd? I certainly do haha

[–]musterdcheif 10 points11 points  (1 child)

There isn’t a single person on this sub who doesn’t, I’m just glad I got the red pill while I’m still in highschool though I really wish I had gotten it before highschool

[–]hearse223[🍰] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's the main enjoyment I get out of TRP, the hindsight.

[–]CrimsonShiv 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Wonderful post. One of my favourite ways to play with the tension is to hold steady yet inert eye contact with the girl when she looks at me during a pregnant pause.

 

The inertness (which comes from being present to the moment) is important because it demonstrates that you're not playing a game. Strange right? Trying to hold a certain gaze could indicate your higher value etc etc at which point a lesser-enlightened-to-game chick could be fooled. More often than not we "try not to try" in order to appear unreactive. This tends to work more often, but hotter chicks are usually quick to sniff this out. What is one to do then?

 

When you empty yourself, in other words you're not trying, and you're not trying not to try, the girl will get a very peculiar sense from you. Imagine the sort of feeling you'd get if you were to drop a stone into a well... and heard nothing. Your anticipated "time-til-impact" is counting down in your mind, and when you don't get the reaction you expected, it's like a glitch in your sense of reality.

You get a sort of "Is this for real?!" mental jerk, and naturally you want to investigate further, whether out of intrigue or to reaffirm your sense of reality.

 

It's the same thing here. The chick is probably not used to someone holding completely aimless eye-contact with her during an interaction. Especially if you're still 100% focused on whatever you are saying or doing. Eye-contact for the sake of it is rattling because it communicates that you have not been caught up in whatever perceived qualities she has whether it be her appearance, status in the environment, very clear negative mood or some other.

 

These "I'm hot / cool / know you want me so bad" games (the frame she imposes at the start) always require Player 2's co-operation in order to function. If you don't even acknowledge her initiation of this game (whether she does it through direct self-qualification or calculated silence on the subject, with simultaneous indirect references to it) There's no "Hook" and if that was something she based her sense of self on, it becomes as though the ground has disappeared. She enters a void almost, and looking in your eyes, with no judgement (positive or negative) coming from you she is forced to give the game up, because obviously, forcing it onto you would contradict it why? Because someone who has that quality (especially in abundance) has no need to constantly reaffirm it through other's approval.

Thanks for the post G.

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Beautiful.

Emptying oneself and becoming present in the moment is like a superpower.

Doing it when you're with a woman (and with eye contact as you mentioned) can have incredible positive results. Women are intoxicated by a man fully rooted in himself and will fall into his frame very quickly.

Whenever I have managed to pull it off well during sex the results have been awesome.

[–]2127301090 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What do you mean “holding completely aimless” eye contact?

[–]CrimsonShiv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Often when holding eye contact we try to appear unreactive by pulling a certain aloof gaze. If we win the girl will giggle / look away.

 

We can lose when the chick seconds our gaze with focused, expectant eye contact and we can't take the pressure (since we initiated it) of not resolving the tension with a message (usually of higher value) in our gaze. We break it by looking away and saying something, usually disqualifying.

 

The whole aimless thing is where you're looking at her pretty much through your own intent, not to appear high value, or as another technique but because you want to. If there's any game being played I'd say it'd be the game of showing you're not playing a game. Instead of trying to convey that you'd don't give a fuck, you really don't and you therefore plough over the tension.

[–]redpillpete 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Just the post I didn’t know I needed, thanks.

[–]zhantoo 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Tension, and being uncomfortable is not the same. Not being comfortable and being uncomfortable is not the same.

Comfortable is when I'm sitting in my dirty underwear, not having showered for 5 days, eating an entire Ben & Jerry's for myself.

Uncomfortable is when some weirdo won't leave me alone, I'm feeling threatened or some other shit.

Tension is when some fine ass lady puts me on the spot and gives me the fuck me in the popper eyes.

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 22 points23 points  (3 children)

I figured readers would be able to tease out the subtle difference between having shit in your pants and sexual tension. But thanks for clarifying :)

[–]zhantoo 6 points7 points  (2 children)

With the kind of people who frequent in here? Doubt it 😂

[–]Cavannah 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I have shit myself and am now convinced that I am the most attractive man alive.

Don’t be a Doubting Thomas and rain on my parade.

[–]LPSchneider 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Shift between building tension, relieving it a little, and then building it more.

This is how ranchers break unruly horses and teach them to be submissive.

[–]ItsJohn5542 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Most of the stuff on here is above my head or my level I guess but this one was particarly helpful and easy to wrap my head around. Thank You for posting this

[–]TameTheRuckus 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Or in general, being comfortable in uncomfortable situations. It's not just about attraction, we're here to lead other men, to be calm in the face of anxiety, fear, panic. And if we learn to maintain our composure and frame in these situations, and know that we can control the atmosphere, imagine the peace and assurance you can bring to a conflict at work, for example, on during an argument among friends or family.

[–]FemtoG 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Control of tension would be more apt

the control part is the difference between he who does and he who does not score

[–]dbz0x 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Correct. First need friction to spark a flame homie.

[–]Dunc0ne 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I am finding some of this stuff really powerful. I am 23, a survivor of sexual abuse. For the longest time I have felt that because I am a man I am a second class citizen. I'm also a recovering drug-addict. When my ex questioned my motives I would cave. When she asked about a girl at a party that I had been looking at(She asked whether I'd been looking) I would tell her that I'd been looking at her and in this case that she was someone I had fancied for as long as I could remember and who had recently gotten out of a relationship.

This drove my ex nuts and I would try and assuage her fears, regardless of any advice I was getting(from men and women) in support groups to let her have her head.

I have been out of this relationship for a few months and although I have dated and slept with other girls since I still feel caught up in my ex's bullshit, like as though I owe her something for the headspace she created for herself. Towards the end of our relationship we were rarely(Just under once a week) having sex and I feel that I carried the tension we had created out of the relationship in to all areas of my life.

Disclaimer: This relationship, as all my relationships has been healing on the whole. The above share has cast a new light on it as I felt that the tension we had had(and to a certain extent still have) could be damaging.

[–]-tb0ne 2 points3 points  (3 children)

This is interesting. When approaching, I've often wondered how to deal with really nervous girls. I know I've seen this question asked on some subs too. Maybe the answer is to let them be nervous? Use it to my advantage? Just show complete calmness even if it only makes them more nervous?

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If a chick is super nervous then you should probably pull back a little and ease the tension a bit. Remember that we are still physically intimidating to most women and women's first concern when meeting a guy is safety.

But by all means do remain completely calm

If you maintain a friendly and calm vibe, she will fall into your frame. Or not, and that bitch ain't worth it. Next.

[–]IvyExcess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have had this exact situation happen with a stripper my exgf picked up. The three of us are at an event. I had gamed the stripper a bit, talked shit and grabbed her ass at a previous event. We were talking and I noticed her face was literally twitching as she was talking to me. I called her out. "Why is your face twitching? Do I make you nervous?" You could see the mushroom cloud of the nuclear hamster explosion in her eyes. Intimacy occured at a later occasion. She told me later "I have never met a guy like you. You would have so much fun at the (strip) club and never have to spend a dollar." Tension - don't be afraid to dial it up to 11.

*edit: she also gave me a huge window into her psychology when she said "I get terrified of people in social situations and I just do multiplication problems in my head to calm down." Actively switching from emotional to logical mode for control. Maybe you boys can learn something from that.

[–]GarethBaleWannabe 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This post was needed for someone like me. My natural personality was actually really good at creating tension and having the appearance that I am really calm in that tense moments when I am interacting with the girl, but inside I am kicking myself for creating the tension, and somehow I believed it was bad.

I refereed semi-pro and amateur soccer for 10 years which is a high pressure situation where emotions are high and people say whatever they want to you to knock you off your horse. So I developed the ability to show a calm, focused demeanor and I learned to shrug off unwarranted harmless comments and deal with people when they take it too far, even when inside I feel like I want to axe someone's head off or leave the pitch.

It's pretty easy for me to go on dates with girls because hey, I got an athletic bod, I am focused on myself and hobbies and a got a close knit but solid social circle. The date goes well, it's very clear that I know myself and experienced alot and I have good frame control, but when the vibe shifts and I can feel the girl attraction growing and I feel the tension inside me growing pushing me to be more sexually aggressive... and I mistakenly despised that feeling, everytime I feel it I feel like I did something wrong. I am not sure why I adopted that feeling, that I need to figure out, but thanks for making me realize that tension is normal and the key thing is to embrace it and listen to the voice that's telling you to keep going.

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you have a great foundation laid. You naturally build tension into your interactions with chicks which is good.

Keep doing what you're doing exactly the same. Up until the point that you noted, where you feel in your gut that the sexual tension is building and you want to act.

At that moment, you need to start initiating some touching. See how she responds. If she leans away from you or withdraws, dial it down and recalibrate. If she leans towards you or returns the touch, escalate & isolate.

Good luck dude

[–]triggeringsjws247 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Theres this 9/10 girl in my class that tried to emotional tampon me. I shut her down and ignored her. Heaps of tension in class. 1 week later she's chortling on my balls.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Boom.

  1. If you can get her to become emotional while you steadily hold frame, it often results with her attraction to you increasing dramatically. Anger is never to be avoided with chicks it is pure emotion which can be easily transferred into sexual energy (make-up sex, for example).

  2. I have almost completely stopped "cold approaches" because of interactions just like the one you described. Simply get on your purpose and get after your life. If you have done the work TRP prescribes and raised your SMV (and importantly mastered your frame) the chicks you interact with on a daily basis will just get pulled into your orbit and send you choosing signals. Just tell them you'd like to take them out for a drink and ask for their number. Many of us waste way too much time cold approaching women who are not interested. Get to the gym, get on your purpose, and live your life. Pussy will come as a result.

[–]emaciated_pecan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Similarly in sales, raise tension when you’re closing. If a client raises tension in certain situations that’s a buying trigger.

[–]NormalAndy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just struck gold here- made my morning. Thanks dude.

Keep building strength and power so maintaining tension and living with it becomes a source of pride. Let it be another reason why you are the prize.

[–]MrAnderzon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This post is golden. Saved

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I once snapchatted a plate a couple days after she blew up at me.. "i feel like there's some built up tension between us"

She texted back:

"Imagine how good that would make the sex though.."

Tension. Tension, my friends. Use it to your advantage.

[–]r0b0b0 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Any tips on how to pass shit tests?

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Yea basic TRP works great. Agree and amplify, pressure flip, or ignore altogether (I'm starting to do this more and more to great effect)

The key is to be nonreactive. A shit test is a chick pushing on your frame to find out if it is solid. If you become defensive or flustered, you fail. How can a woman expect you to care for her and her babies if you can be rattled by the likes of her?

Here are some examples from my own attempts at flirting:

Girl: "Oh my God you're so old! You could be like my dad or something" Me: "that's right little girl. Now go buy daddy a drink"

Girl: "You're too fat" Me: "Yea this would never work out I would crush you. Look how tiny you are next to me I would break you"

Girl: "I'll bet you have a small dick" Me: (holding up my pinky) "you won't feel a thing"

Girl: "your beard is gross" Me: (I couldn't think of anything clever, so I just looked at her like she said the stupidest thing I'd ever heard and then continued with my story)

What you realize eventually is that this whole shit-test -> agree and amplify is just flirting. It shouldn't be seen as a negative when a chick tests you- it is an opportunity to demonstrate your unshakeable frame.

Passing shit tests are one of the guaranteed ways to increase a chick's attraction.

[–]r0b0b0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok thanks, I didn't get the pressure filpping part. What's that?

[–]Pooddit 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's weird I get rattled by a woman but not other things. I think it is because of the power women have to destroy your life with a simple utterance of their mouth, like "pervert" or something to the social circle or even saying "rape" and getting you in a lot more trouble.

What bugs me is that the same pushy, touchyness that arouses me when I use it and arouses women when used on them is also what is considered perversion, sexual assault, etc., when it is used on a woman that is not interested but you really don't have any idea a lot of times because women are purposefully non-receptive to test you...

They don't understand, I do no fear them... I am bigger than them and I can take rejection. I fear the society that they have created to demonize men doing what is natural to them and exactly what women want... assertiveness.

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think the reason they rattle you so much is "because of the power women have to destroy your life with a simple utterance of their mouth, like "pervert" or something to the social circle or even saying "rape" and getting you in a lot more trouble."

I think it is because as men we are naturally intimidated by the Goddess which manifests herself in all beautiful women. We become enchanted. We want to fall to our knees and worship her. We tremble at the sound of her voice and melt at her soft touch.

But the Goddess doesn't want to be worshipped. She wants to find the man worthy of her worship. She doesn't want the man who cannot tear his eyes from her. His seed is weak, and it is her duty to preserve strength so she finds weakness repulsive. She wants the man whose eyes are fixed upon the heavens as he conquers the stars.

Your getting rattled is perfectly normal. Keep grinding at the gym. Keep chasing your purpose. Keep making friends and living an awesome life. And keep hooking up with women.

By the time you've laid your 20th, women will no longer "rattle" you at all. You will rattle them with your self assuredness and masculinity.

Stick to the straight and narrow. And good luck.

[–]slackbladerered 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post. Recently I've been applying a few push pull ideas with a women at work. No intentions. Never shit etc.... One day she decided to raise her voice about something. Completely unprofessional. Littetally mid sentence I walked away. Since then I've pretty much not interacting with her apart from professionally. The amount of times she's try to push my buttons has been hilarious to see. Whenever in meetings she'll always make a point to contradict what I say or flip the script. My reaction, chuckle or ignore or move on. Causes friction of the good kind

[–]CoarseAnus 0 points1 point  (5 children)

She says something expecting validation. "I hate the way this dress makes me look"

What's a good way to reply to comments like these?

[–]chipdelux 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Either you say "No, it looks great on you" (Validate) or "It looks terrible, how DARE you show that to me" (be an asswipe) OR you remain silent and let her realize the stupidity of her asking you that question. She EXPECTS you to validate her and NOT be an asswipe, but if you're silent and she gets NEITHER, her gears will keep churning "Why isnt he telling me what I EXPECT him to say?" "Is he an asshole? No, I dont date assholes." The TRUE validation for her comes from OTHER men and women ogling her, NOT from you coming to her with a compliment on a silver platter at the snap of her fingers when a thought such as "am I fat?" enters her mind. If she STILL needs that validation from you, run. Either she KNOWS she's hot shit, in which case the question was just a shit test to see how much of a man/slave you are, or she just ISN'T hot shit, in which case, why are you even with her?? You don't even have to remain silent, you can answer with a completely unrelated answer, such as "C'mon we're running late" (if you somewhat ARE running late, don't just pull shit out your ass cause then you're completely and utterly ignoring her, which falls into the "being an asswipe" category)

Silence is truly golden my friends. People will untie the knots they put you in THEMSELVES once they subconsciously realize that you were never able to be put in a knot.

I am not a lawyer, do not ever take my advice for any reason but for shits'n'giggles.

[–]UncleChido 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s better to 1). Ignore or 2). Agree and amplify.

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You let the tension build. By not responding at all.

If she pushes you on it, say "let me see" and get up and spin her around and then pull her in and kiss her hard.

The only validation a chick is gonna get from me in a situation like that is my sexual attention, which validates that I find her sexually desirable.

[–]RobbieBee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes it makes your ass look fat, so fat i want to smack it every time it eclipses my line of sight.

[–]Tamakazee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

'I agree . . . It would look much better on my bedroom floor'

[–]SoA_MC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tension creates the attraction, but a certain level of comfort is what keeps it, but that’s where the balance comes in. Tension in the mind i.e. she will doubt herself when you’re not there and wonder what you’re doing, but comfortable physically.

[–]bulletzdz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Agreed, never make her feel comfortable.

Always keep tension.

More anxiety she has around you, the more attraction she has for you.

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't say "never make her feel comfortable"

The most effective game, IMO, is one with alternating peaks of tension and comfort. Sort of like push/ pull.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

How to get laid: Make a girl as uncomfortable as possible.

Sure, that will totally work.

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yup that's totally what I said.

Keep running that comfort game sweetie. Good luck.

[–]slackbladerered 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These fellas misunderstood your post

[–]Coul_Train 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Touché. I feel the author hear is emphasizing on the fact that you should push her limits but don’t exceed them. Some girls are more sensitive than others. You should still always be a forward thinker when it comes to her feelings and emotions. But, girls really do like the tensile build up. It keeps them on edge!

[–]Atlas_Clone -1 points0 points  (4 children)

For those of you that initially had a fear of creating tension/ making a women angry, how did you get over it? I don't really like the idea of purposely going out of my way to piss someone of but I'm willing to do it if there's a way to get over the fear/ make it easier.

[–]FimbleEnterprises 1 point2 points  (2 children)

If you've ever endeavored to quit a bad habit then you know how to do this already. If you were looking for someone to disclose a cheat code to make this an instant and easy solution then you are out of luck.

Short answer: You just fucking do it!

I've woken up, gone to work, known that I fucked up last night. I legitimately feel bad about it. I mentally prepare the text/call apology.

I don't deliver it.

It's hard. For a buddy, I'd give it - but buddies think differently. They think like me. Women do not.

I know in my heart that I feel bad and will work to prevent that fuck up from happening again. I will do this regardless of an apology submission and regardless of her reaction/behavior. I have a code and integrity matters to me.

By noon I can expect a text from her apologizing to me.

Waiting till noon was hard. Waiting was also wise.

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Very interesting. I've had some similar revelations lately.

I've realized that I can't let my happiness or the happiness of my relationship be dictated by the chick. Women are fundamentally abusive and will never respond the way I would expect a decent person to respond. It's like every time I have apologized or shown vulnerability or given validation AS REQUESTED BY HER it always backfires and eventually chokes the relationship dead.

However, if I just take the reigns and show her strength (even at the cost of being perceived as an asshole) chicks literally cannot get enough.

So the realization is that it is quite a burden of responsibility to be the man. I've got to be a dictator, but I'm a nice guy so this can be difficult.

The model I have come to adopt is The Benevolent King

The King's rule is absolute. He doesn't apologize or show weakness. But he does care about his subjects and genuinely wants the best for them. You've got to be the King of your household, including your woman.

[–]FimbleEnterprises 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The, "Benevolent King" is an apt and perhaps the perfect persona for the MRP lurker looking for a bit of validation or that little kick in the ass.

I have nothing to add. I agree completely.

[–]3whatsthisgarg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For those of you that initially had a fear of creating tension/ making a women angry, how did you get over it?

Damn good question. Read my submitted posts, about half of them have some version of this. Like this and this and others.

Basically I got to a point where I didn't really care what she would do, but even then, the first few times I really anticipated that she would blow up and we'd have a big fight. When that did not happen and the results were good, well, man, you can't argue with results.

[–]naIamgood -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I naturally make girls uncomfortable.

[–]ramure -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

You've obviously never had a healthy relationship with a woman ever in your life...

[–]2chazthundergut[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I've learned that when someone says "healthy" in the context of a relationship, what they actually mean is: whatever is best for the woman

I've had relationships where I focused on building comfort, providing emotional support, and giving validation. There was nothing healthy about those relationships trust me.

A healthy relationship, to me, is a relationship that maximizes my own happiness. And right now I'm in several healthy relationships.