Here on TRP, we like to talk a lot about the “Alpha Fucks” vs. “Beta Bucks” mentality that separates men from one another in the dating world. But why do we have this dichotomy? The answer might be simpler than you think. In fact, it boils down to one simple question: How much are you giving them?
To illustrate this point, there are two friends of mine who perfectly demonstrate how this one question separates the “Alpha Fucks” from the "Beta Bucks”. We will call them Guy #1 and Guy #2
Guy #1 is unemployed, on probation, has no car and sleeps on the floor of his friend’s apartment. His prospects for a brighter future are close to nonexistent, with his best case scenario being that he does not end up in prison.
Guy #2 has a stable white collar job, plenty of potential for upward mobility at work, a strong moral code, all kinds of talents and is incredibly dependable in almost any situation.
Both of them hit the gym regularly, are both considered attractive by mainstream society, and yet at the end of the day one does significantly better than the other with women (hint: it’s not the one who logically speaking should be doing better). Why is that?
That’s where the question of “how much are you giving them?” comes in.
Guy #1 recently met a girl who said she thought he was really attractive, but that she had a boyfriend who was dying of cancer. He didn’t really say anything about it, and blew her off. She kept sending him aggressively flirty texts, and inviting him to do things. Every once in a while he would agree to spend maybe 5 minutes of his time with her. When he would, he would say “I’m not interested in you, you have a boyfriend.” He gave the bare minimum investment of his time and spent no money on her.
Eventually, it got to the point where she broke down. She told him that her boyfriend wasn’t actually dying of cancer, that he might be gay and that she would ditch him in a heartbeat for guy #1. The two of them did it in a nearby forest, and he then said he had no interest in being in a relationship with her because she was a slut. Once a cheater, always a cheater. She was flustered beyond belief, but was so attracted to him that she kept inviting him to do stuff.
One day, she asked him for drinks. He told her “I can’t drive and I have $10 left in my bank account, I can’t afford it.” To which she replied “I’ll pick you up and pay for your drinks .” She did, then proceeded to spend $110 on drinks USING HER BOYFRIEND’S CREDIT CARD.
Her Beta provider boyfriend was LITERALLY providing her money to use on another man.
Side note: if my girlfriend EVER had a charge on my credit card for $110, I would drop her ass immediately. Why he even gave her his credit card is beyond me. But that’s a different analysis for a different day.
This dynamic with Guy #1 and this girl continues to this day, and what has he given her throughout the course of this? Jack. Fucking. Shit. Yet, she keeps coming back to him for more, and gives him more of her time and boyfriend’s money to him. She is literally Hooked on A Feeling.
Guy #2 met a girl a little while back who was single and found him to be very attractive. At first, he wasn’t very invested in it, she was blowing up his phone, and they were sleeping together regularly. She even told him at one point “let’s just be friends”. He ignored her, she started blowing up his phone again and they were sleeping together again.
But after spending a bit more time with her, he told me he really liked her and wanted to be in a relationship with her, despite there being potential that she could be leaving the country in a certain period of time.
Nevertheless, he persisted as if they were going to start dating. He would pay for her meals, her drinks, and more. He would compliment her, say really nice/sweet things, and gave her all kinds of time and money. He would bail on plans to go to the gym with me just because she wanted to grab dinner around the time we were supposed to be lifting. One night, he left the bar we were at instantly because she called him.
Everything that mainstream culture says guys should do for women, he did those things.
How did that turn out?
Well, within roughly a month (maybe less), she started to pull away and eventually gave guy #2 the official “let’s just be friends” talk. That was it for this dynamic.
These two examples stick out to me, but I also see this happen all of the time in my life. Girls who I ignore/give very little time to will do anything to get my attention. The ones I lend a lot of my time to ditch me at the drop of a hat.
Which leads me to my overarching point:
The MORE you give, the LESS you get