The effects of monk mode for 2 months at age 38 (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

How I was before I started: Depressed, suicidal, ugly, fat, out of shape, very socially anxious and awkward, prone to angry outbursts, negative thoughts and self beliefs, 0 confidence. Afraid to talk to people esp women. Prone to saying really cringy things even tho It wasn't my intention. No social calibration. Self destructive behavior and cynicism and misanthropy.

What I did:

For 2 months, I went into this version of monk mode: I quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey after 20+ years (I was up to 2 packs a day) I quit alcohol,(I was getting buzzed every day, 3 + drinks) caffeine, sugar, and stopped PMO for the first time since I started at age 11 (I have been jerking off almost daily, mostly to porn, for 27 years). I drank only water and ate only meat, vegetables, fruit, brown starches, and protein powder. I lifted every day on a 3 day split, upper body split into 2 days and lower body on the 3rd. I meditated twice daily, 20 mins when I woke up and 20 minutes again before sleep.

The effects: Nicotine fits. I give mindfulness meditation 100% credit for helping me through this. I was prepared for my brain to come up with any reason it could why I should have just one more cigarette, I kept telling it no. It finally gave up after 2 weeks. I started looking like myself again, my natural color came back and I looked good and hydrated. This instantly boosted my confidence because I had forgotten I'm a pretty handsome dude. Muscle soreness and exhaustion. Started sleeping like a baby. Intense horniness. Started to feel the muscle come in a little and it felt amazing. Like I was Jason Statham even tho I still had the fat dad bod. Emotional detachment and equanimity. Aloofness but still warm and friendly to everyone. I noticed I wasn't getting mad or worried or stressed as easily. I stopped hating on people. Started feeling a low level euphoria all the time. Must be what everyone calls a natural high. Social anxiety started to go away, I stopped caring what other people were thinking. My natural flirting abilities with women (I haven't had since high school) came back and my self consciousness faded away. I started talking to women with a cockiness. An "old dirty bastard" vibe. Realized its not only ok to be bad and mischievous with women, that they absolutely love it. Its exactly what they want. Started getting real smiles and laughter from women everywhere I went. Used these as positive reference experiences which boosted my confidence even further. Eventually turned into completely unstifled fearlessness. Able to be my natural self around everyone. Started to fall in love with my looks and develop a healthy amount of narcissism. Able to look everyone in the eye without averting my gaze out of anxiety. Body started to take shape even more. Other dudes nod in respect more often. Started looking more masculine than I ever have. Beard started growing in thicker. Ive given 5 women my phone number after flirting a few times and currenty talking to 3 of them. One is 5 years younger than me and married and wants to cheat on hubby with me. Sends me nudes. I really don't want to go that route. One is 12 years younger than me and says I'm a hot old man and the age difference turns her on. She sucked my dick in her car yesterday in a shopping center parking lot after she got off work. One is about my age and I think she's already in love because she texts me every 5 minutes all day every day. Banged her twice already. These are not exaggerations. Not posting this to pump myself up. I will never know any of you in real life so why would I care what you think. But If I can light a fire under one guy's ass who reads this and inspire him to change his life, mission accomplished. It is not placebo. These are all objectively noticable if not measurable effects I have experienced within the span of 60 days. And none would have happened if I hadn't decided to get off my ass and change my life. My brain tried to bitch out every step of the way. I wouldn't give into it. 2 months in and I've decided to stay in monk mode indefinitely as the benefits are too profound and life changing for me to quit. I'm not getting any younger and there is too much pussy out there and I need to make up for lost time.

[–]knowledgelover94 63 points64 points  (2 children)

Amazing change! What inspired you to change all of the sudden?

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I was getting to the point where I was being pulled in a permanent negative direction in life, and I decided not to roll over and give up and die just yet. That maybe I still have a chance to turn my life around and succeed. Discovering the manosphere and reading posts here and elsewhere on the web and Youtube made me realize it doesn't have to be over for me, that I can still change myself for the better and restore my lost confidence and start attracting women into my life.

[–]Zdeneksfilter 55 points56 points  (1 child)

I’m bookmarking this. My dude, reading this at 26, and having been lucky enough to discover the Redpill early enough to steer clear of the usual bluepill shenanigans like the marriage trap; a trap that seems to have snapped up all of my peers, this is gold. I feel like I’ve been looking for this, even though it seems obvious enough, and I’ll give it a proper go (though it will be way easier for me since I barely drink and smoke.) One thing I’d like to point out is that even though you wrote this as something everybody can do, you are part of that rare group that can wake up one day, decide something needs doing, and actually follow up on it. Most people who attempt to follow you will undoubtedly fail, as it must require tremendous dedication. Thank you for this; you just showed what’s possible with self-discipline. Thank you too for providing a different kind of post- this place is getting redundant with the AWALT-hammering posts. All the best.

[–]theherosmyth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same. I am 27 now, and I basically pissed away the last 7 years of my life. There were minor achievements here and there, but momentum was largely missing. I have tried many times to get my act together but it never really stuck. Finally I feel like all the lessons from my previous failures and other puzzle pieces are coming together to the point where I can make lasting changes.

All this lack of achievement makes me feel old (for where I am in life anyway. I know I’m not old in and of itself). But posts like these give me hope. It’s so cool to hear someone who is 10 years my senior get his shit together and produce such amazing results. It makes me think that if I work on myself hard for a full year, and avoid the stupid pitfalls that we are warned about in this sub reddit, I can make huge strides. And I’ll only be 28. Anyway I don’t want to derive confidence from what I say I’m going to do. I will definitely make a post when I’ve been able to create positive change.

Thanks for sharing your journey, OP. It has definitely given me some hope and inspiration.

[–]Flintblood 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Why is the username deleted from the post and responses?

[–]rustyspurs87 11 points12 points  (1 child)

OP used a throwaway account.

[–]Flintblood 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This has become my ‘throwaway’ account of sorts. Maybe I need up my posting security.

I know what throwaway accounts are but I never understood the point of deleting the accounts. Just keep it and use it occasionally when needed.

[–][deleted] 99 points100 points  (19 children)

You might be misunderstanding monk mode. Either that or I did.

[–]Rafa1116 80 points81 points  (7 children)

I don’t see how this isn’t monk mode? The guy has gone into an intense period of time where he focused on self betterment. Quitting cigarettes cold turkey is a difficult task, as well as kicking a daily drinking habit. He started to pay attention to his diet, meditates often, and started lifting. These are all steps that he took in order to improve his worth to himself.

Perhaps the issue comes from the fact that he said that he wishes to be in a constant state of monk mode? But I still see no issue with this as there isn’t a set time limit to monk mode.

[–]1Ramesses_ 142 points143 points  (2 children)

Monk mode is a period of time during which you completely eschew women. Or so it was traditionally defined. The idea is to go away from trying to win games and give yourself a proper pre season before you get back to it again. If he's working women he's out of monk mode.

But props to him, he is nailing red pill.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The idea is to go away from trying to win games and give yourself a proper pre season before you get back to it again. If he's working women he's out of monk mode.

Totally agree. I mean kudos to OP for making such a major change in his life. And he may indeed have been in monk mode for a while before he connected with those chicks ( I wish you were still around to let us know how long you were in true Monk Mode, OP.) But the post doesn't fully promote monk mode in a sense that it reads "If I turn my life around, I get women." But he is, still, as you say, "nailing the red pill" (as well as a few broads). So while not a pure monk mode, it's still truly inspiring because of how hard he turned his life around.

[–]Rafa1116 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Always willing to learn something knew. Thanks.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 21 points22 points  (1 child)

During monk mode you're typically cutting yourself off from the world for 1-3 months depending on your requirements. He's talking about picking up phone numbers. That can't reasonably happen in monk mode because you wouldn't be social enough for it to happen without something seriously random and crazy happening.

[–]ImHerWonderland 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, I definitely misunderstood what monk mode meant. Thank you for clarifying.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I did not take away from the good he has done. But monk mode and pursuing women are mutually exclusive. He seems to think he can do both at the same time.

[–]Pestilence1911 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ugh. Women take up too much time, cant be missing saturdays at work for the ladies.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Monks practice chastity and pray. This apart, they cultivate discipline, study, excerxise (spirit and sometimes body), fast, and keep to their rule.

Let's say he is in
Monk (except for sex) mode.

[–]Mojiitoo 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Buut he kinda went into a monk mode until the women part? Like the first 5 weeks were probably monk mode and then he was back in the game

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

If you read carefully, that's what I said. He is no longer in monk mode but he thinks he is. He is focused on women and not on his mission. Or, his mission is women, which won't last.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    That can only be determined for yourself and it takes a while (and a great deal of effort, research, soul-searching, etc.). I hope you recognize yours soon.

    [–]Wilreadit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This is exactly what i thought. What OP did was a big turnaround. But not exactly monk mode.

    Monk mode is the cold shower, unwavering focus, away from dopamine hits, stoic period. Designed to remove you from all vices where you only think about your progress.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]Geralt23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      No, that's being a monk. This is monk mode.


      [–]You_Know_This_MAN 11 points12 points  (3 children)

      where'd you meet the women?

      [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

      One is a cashier at a store I frequent a lot, one I met at a friends party, and one at work.

      [–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2 17 points18 points  (1 child)

      Bonus points for going with a Kingfish monastic haircut and wearing a dirty flea-ridden brown monk robe with sandals.

      [–]throwitdown92011 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      This is what monk mode is all about

      [–]1Ramesses_ 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      How did you come upon the red pill and get all this started? Well done by the way. Sky's the limit.

      [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      I came to TRP by Googling for answers to my questions about social anxiety and fear of talking to women. I only wish I had found this community a long time ago and that I had done this a long time ago.

      [–]canarywocoalmine 10 points11 points  (2 children)

      Dude, 1-nice going. 2-i'm 49 and after a long time with no female contact, I've done 2 of them 18 years younger and I'm filling the pipeline. Keep at it! It's great isnt it?

      [–]virgin37 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Congrats! This gives me hope.

      [–]canarywocoalmine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      And you should have it. Better yourself a little bit every day. Workout, learn something new, talk to people for no reason, compliment people sincerely and just keep doing it all cause it feels good.

      [–]Cmdrj-nice 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      Dude I miss the natural high don't take it for granted. For some reason I lost it a couple of months am trying to recalibrate again

      [–]dialecticwizard 7 points8 points  (9 children)

      I been in monk mode for 6 years dude. Not elective mind you. As I have little time for much else apart from work. But its a good way to focus till you get your world just how you want it.

      [–]GuruDev1000 2 points3 points  (8 children)

      How exactly do you feel you are in monk mode? What do you do throughout the day apart from work?

      [–]dialecticwizard 0 points1 point  (7 children)

      My work is fascinating so it keeps me preoccupied. Not that I do not love being with women. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy being around them. Just that I had to do this so that I could get to be with them, quality time wise.

      PS: Not that I was solely thus motivated. Quality love life is a nice bonus. I am after something else science based primarily.

      [–]GuruDev1000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Your edit answered my question.

      [–]magx01 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      My work is fascinating so it keeps me preoccupied.

      Beautiful, champ. What do you do?

      [–]dialecticwizard 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      I day trade the global markets as in like the fellahs who sit in front of monitors and look at those graphs.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      What do you trade? FX, stocks, derivatives?

      [–]dialecticwizard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I mostly do FX and commodities. Thats just force of habit. Run 26 charts.

      [–]CaciqueBoss 18 points19 points  (6 children)

      I don't think 2 month of lifting can get you rip my man.

      [–]virgin37 12 points13 points  (3 children)

      Maybe not ripped, but certainly a noticeable frame should be taking shape. And more importantly, self confidence which trumps a ripped body.

      [–]Butt_Man_69 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      I’m hearing now that it helps with building serotonin in the brain by letting tryptophan not have to compete with other amino acids for neurotransmitters.

      [–]virgin37 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Absolutely. If you want to go further down the rabbit hole, check out epigenetics.

      [–]master_beta89 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Try it, you’d be surprised.

      In one trip to the grocery store you can change your diet.

      You can start running today

      You can start going the to the gym Today.

      See what happens in 2 months. Imagine what can happen in 2 years

      [–]lean_back 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Maybe the regulars at the gym noticed the effort and started to acknowledge

      [–]pevans12 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Good shit dude. Now get slayin some puss.

      [–]Kibbles99 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      I feel like we self-medicate to control various thoughts, feelings and impulses that cause trouble or anxiety but the eventual side-effects are listed in the first paragraph. Drink, smoke and jerk off too much, you will end up a fat lazy bastard.

      Remove the medication and soon the natural impulses come back along with the health that fuels them.

      Is banging chicks and getting dick sucked better than being sad, lazy and depressed? Yes.

      Is getting in endless drama for banging chicks and getting your dick sucked better than smoking and drinking? I'd say no.

      Depends on how you like to cool your jets?

      Sounds like a heck of a mid-life rally, though.

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      There is no drama if you plate them.

      [–]DoubleOsiete 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Fuck yeah! Good job brother! Keep up the ^progress.

      [–]Pastelitomaracucho[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I perfectly believe what you are saying, man.

      Rock on.

      [–]Aesthetic_God__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Great change my dude. I have my share of similar experience to add, two months ago I was a depressive sick individual who was circlejerking in victim mentality and had a lot of fights with my family, drunk lots of alcohol and drugs and wouldn't even lift. I moved somewhere else for the past two months, I smoked a lot of weed, threw all the negative shit out and I thought about my life when I was high and I decided it was time to change. I had a handful of shocking realizations when I was re-reading the sidebar and posts here in TRP while I was high, that I decided I need to cut the crap out of my life and got really motivated. I moved back to my town, started working, I lift, I talk to people more, I started spinning plates and I only smoke just to relax after an intense self improving three week period every month. Guess what, I feel confident and great. I was also able to completely quit alcohol before damaging my liver or end up being an alcoholic, as I was smoking thc and didn't need it anymore. Now I'm in control of smoking weed too. I'm planning to quit every bad habit including this and keep progressing. Stay disciplined!

      [–]epicfadeout 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm admittedly envious of you, almost to a point of suspicion. If you truly were a fat, ugly, lazy, socially awkward piece of shit, then this transformation you're describing, within only 2 months, sounds miraculous. I've been going pretty hard at the self-improvement for the past few months, and while I've definitely noticed certain benefits, they sure are a lot more gradual than those that OP describes. Perhaps you're a more handsome dude than myself, and your looks were simply obscured by your previous fatness.

      If you truly had social anxiety, it seems like it would take longer than 2 short months to make the leap from that state to one of quick natural flirting and an abundance of female options, no?

      Everyone grows at their own pace, you certainly sound like an exception. Either way, good work man.

      [–]anabolic92 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      Why did you compre yourself to Jasón Statham, you bald by any chance?

      [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Lol no just the first famous dude with a ripped body that popped into my head. Could've said Hugh Jackman I guess but you get the point.

      [–]domable19 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Not bald, perhaps he means the ripped part.

      [–]papysh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Gratz mate, motivating stuff! So, you still do no do alco / coffee /ciggs, doesn't it impact your social life?

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Depression lifted then. You got serotonin flowing.

      [–]Jampak_5000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      TRP - the place that actually inspires self help. This place must be worth millions to someone who could figure out a way to monetize it. Not saying that anyone should, just saying self help industry is worth prob billions and I bet TRP generates better results, at cost 0.

      [–]Sonos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I've experienced the same, lost weight, getting in shape, confidence booms, standing up straight with my shoulders back, top lobster time.

      Am married but I'm having to beat the women off with a shitty stick.

      [–]fdsqfdsq 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Think the biggest point is: loving yourself again. People can see that shit from miles away.

      [–]Winterpreter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Well done dude, nothing better in life than self improvement, no hook-up will make you feel this good.

      [–]magx01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Jesus Christ dude you quit smoking AND drinking AND starting exercising, dieting AND meditating ALL AT ONCE and you actually PULLED IT OFF?!

      Pat yourself on the (ever growing, ever hardening) back. Goddamn.

      these are not exaggerations. Not posting this to pump myself up. I will never know any of you in real life so why would I care what you think. But If I can light a fire under one guy's ass who reads this and inspire him to change his life, mission accomplished.

      I usually call bullshit and assume most posts are just bragging disguised as lessons but in this case....I believe you.

      [–]schultlj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This is very impressive. I have to ask, how were you able to sustain so many changes at once? For the vast majority of people, there isn't enough will power to get up and constantly work on that stuff every minute of every day. How do you handle your urges? Did you have to learn any new skills (like meditation)?

      Currently, the biggest challenge I find with all the changes I'm making (lifting, nutrition, etc) is that they require both will power and skill. If you don't have the knowledge, will power tends to vanish quickly as you are just spinning your wheels. Thoughts?

      [–]thepontiff_ 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      This motivated me to confidently and instantly pop this chick with a hang out this weekend question. Even if she says no I was bold to ask.

      Damn I’ll exercise for days but I can’t give up my boooooooooze now this early in the game.

      [–]neoda1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      how old are you, dont need to give up booze

      [–]pmmedenver -1 points0 points  (4 children)

      This post reads like the manic state of some sort of psychological disorder, either that or a big fat lie. Nobody instantly goes from 0 to hero overnight.

      Get real

      [–]SaveRana 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      That's fucking cold. I've had stretches like OP, get my shit together, hit the gym, eat right, meditate; can't seem to make it stick for more than a few months, but what he's describing is pretty much how it goes - Surge of confidence fueled by an uptick in female attention, generally feeling good about yourself. Now if he can figure out how not to backslide after things are good for a while and he starts getting complacent, that's something I'd want to read.

      [–]pevans12 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      It took him 60 some days man, don’t discount someone for finding a path to walk down. Everyone needs a day one

      Not cool.

      [–]virgin37 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Healthy skepticism is healthy, but we have no idea what OP's 'bottom' looked like. While I'd call myself fat right now, it really is subjective, as I've got some belly fat I'd like to get rid of, yet in reality I'm more fit than probably 90% of men today.

      We tend to judge ourselves more harshly than others would, so for OP to dig himself out of his self-perceived rut, drop unhealthy habits/vices, and begin to attract the opposite sex, I'd say he's headed in the right direction.

      Maybe OP is on cloud 9 from life right now, and wanted to share his testimony and give back? Or, alternatively, maybe he just downed a bottle of gin, did a fat new york rail off his own manboob, took a bong rip, jerked off to some bbw eating cake, and made it all up because he's out of his mind in a manic state.

      [–]Flintblood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I recently did the same thing but not as hardcore with all the changes (I had previously quit smoking and drinking was down anyway). I also credit using CBD oil for anxiety, sleep and inflammation, and keto for quick initial cutting of body fat.

      Your story the way you tell it is transformational and inspiring. Keep it up bro!

      [–]stirringlion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Well done for so willingly swallowing the red pill and accepting all the advice here!! You’ve really embraced everything you can and really done a massive 180.

      Don’t burn yourself out, it’s a marathon not a sprint. It’s a new lifestyle.

      Continue reading, learning and implementing. And especially keep sharing your insights on your journey.

      Congrats on your progress!

      [–]Hviterev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Like I was Jason Statham even tho I still had the fat dad bod

      50% of having the dad bod is actually using Jason Statham as a reference.

      Joking aside, props dude. Keep it up.

      [–]AuntieXhrist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Good for you making and doing change in your destructive behavior. Yet, actions do reshape our brains, nervous system, neural pathways that often resist correction. You’ve done 20 + Years, time and space cannot be avoided.

      [–]Rollo_Mayhem3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Great job. Have you been to your primary care physician for a complete physical and blood work up?? I would do that before you train any more (or any more intensely) because after smoking for that long, your cardiovascular system among others can't be in good shape. Take it easy...good luck.

      [–]LeBroney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      How much would you saying quitting PMO helped? Did you have to push yourself to overcome your social anxiety, or did it come naturally as a result of becoming healthier and better on monk mode?

      [–]Hideme2006 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I’m most interested in you quitting caffeine. How much coffee were you consumingr before, and how did you feel after cutting it out of your diet. I always feel like shit for days when I try to quit.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I love this. I love you. Thank you.

      [–]totalwpierdol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      How did you meet those women? Cold approach?

      [–]NikolaGeorgiev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I think the most important question is how, when and why you became this person that you disliked so much, that you wanted to change them?

      [–]MobileInspector 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is amazing. First off, congratulations! Changing multiple habits and routines at the same time is incredibly difficult and requires an insane amount of willpower. I'm not sure how you got through that.... but that's a bloody achievement. Personally, if I was 38 and in the same pre-monk mode situation as you, I would cut one habit at a time (maybe one per month or something) so the changes are permanent. Then again, this is monk mode and I don't blame you for going this hard...

      Be careful of setbacks and failures along the way though, one tiny mistake could drive you back to your psychological defaults of 38 years

      Again, good shit though, keep pushing.

      [–]throwawayclarkken 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      I am going to suggest you to keep at monk mode for longer . Not concentrate on banging women as a reward for yourself . But become the best you can . Have a purpose in life . Women will come automatically

      [–]moltenw 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      how tf will women come automatically when you dont communicate with them in monk mode ????

      i see this comment all the time, and it's stupid.

      did lifting help me get more confident about myself? yes

      did scheduling and focusing on my mission help me better my life? yes

      did all that help me get women? No, because they dont know I exist since I rarely go out and when I do, I have approach anxiety, even though I can hold a conversation and frame pretty well.

      you actually have to approach for something to happen, from my experience. Women dont just "fall in your lap" if you have everything else right.

      [–]throwawayclarkken -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Women come and initiate conversations with me all the time . That didn't happen when I was a looser . Now monk mode gives me more joy than banging a 9 or 10.

      [–]CasketCadaver -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

      this sounds like he doesnt understand mgtow and instead turned it into a way to get confidence to speak to women? im so confused i thought this was mgtow

      [–]magx01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is the trp sub dumb dumb