Unplugging: I was lied to
It’s painful. Its not easy.
As I educate myself more and more about the RedPill. I cannot help but feel the pain of my past. I look at how the blue pill mindset I was led to believe, that society pushed down my throat only did nothing but cause me misery, these lies and my blind following, that caused me to be an absolute failure with women.
It was the “ just be yourself “ bullshit that cause me to be complacent with a fat, out of shape and as i look back, a disgusting body. It killed any desire for self improvement because at the end of the day, “ theres someone who will appreciate you the way you are”
It was the “ Just be a nice guy” that caused me to be friend zoned and be an utter and complete orbiter to the women that i wanted to be with. I would give favours, hoping that this would atleat be the way to some sad transactional sex. False.
It was the “ be friends first and get to know her more ” that led me to not make my intentions clear from the start out of fear, I would always be the guy that would wait until “ she is comfortable” before I would make a move or be physical, and by that point - we all know how the story goes.
It was the “ tell her how you really feel” that led me to an emotional open book, ruining any tension and attraction, making it overly obviously my investment in the girl. This worked in the romance movies, shouldn’t it work in real life?
I simply did not know there was an another path, there are those that this knowledge came to naturally or partially naturally and there are those that have to learn the hard way, I was the latter.
As painful as the memories are, reminiscing of past mistakes and their consequences, losing the girl, lost opportunities, oneitis - there is solace in knowing that it is only up from here and I am now well equipped.
The pain, the rejection and failure, it’s what led me here and I am forever thankful. To those starting out, it’s worth it.