After this subreddit has so massively changed my outlook on life for the better, I decided to give something back to you guys. If you stay until the end with me, you will also get a nice payoff after reading through my lengthy FR. Enjoy !
Background info: Without giving away too much, I am in my mid 20s, of average height and somewhat athletic, with good career prospects in the future. Having been an overweight, nice guy BP up until my early 20s and losing my virginity when I was about to hit 21, discovering RP principles and applying them for several years has brought me from a pretty dark place to now being happy with myself and constantly striving for a better version of myself.
On a vibrant summer night a few weeks ago, I went out with a few people I had met in order to start playing music again as it had been a while. After talking logistics and future plans, the four of us decided to celebrate the creation of our project and go out for drinks together. It was a fun time all around and as the beers poured and our blood alcohol rose to dangerous levels, the mood got more jovial as well.
After a few drinks here and there, our buzzed group arrives at 2 am to a cosy pub with a small dancing area in the back. At that time of the night, the crowd only consisted of around 10-15 people, including our group and the staff.
When I got back from pitching a round of drinks for the group, I sat in front of my fellow soon-to-be-guitarist, of whom I suspect that she is harboring a small crush on me (when we got asked by a dudeat a party "why wouldn't you hookup with InsulinDaddy ?", her reply was "We can't do that, not within the band. Look at what happened to Fleetwood Mac !").
Her and I then glanced simultaneously over to the back where a few people where dancing, including a cute brunette in a red jumpsuit who was beckoning over towards our table after she noticed us looking over. I promptly turned my head to Ms. GuitarGirl and asked her for whom the gesture was meant. "Maybe us both", she replied coyly, "do you need a wingman ?". Giving her a wide shit-eating grin, I proceeded to tell her that I was well on my own, but that she was free to join, and headed towards the dance floor with the rest of my group who were just as eager to shake their hips to the music.
I instantly noticed that the Red Jumpsuit girl (whom I will from now on call RJ) was also in good company and that she must have been close to the wall, HB7.5, end 20s/beginning 30s, around 5'6, but hadn't quite lost the glow of youth on her face and in her manners. I watched her dance intimately and skillfully with a male companion of hers who was a little smaller than her, and they both seemed quite familiar with each other. However, despite the intimacy, I felt quite a lack of erotic tension in the air, and decided to open her. A few other people were with them, including a 6'2 overweight guy who looked pretty BP, being around 40 years old.
Now credit where credit is due: I remembered my good friends' favorite line (shoutout to you C, I know you browse TRP as well), and opened her once she wasn't close to her partner anymore by calmly shouting over the noise: "Nice dress... can I have it ?"
(Sidenote: Yes, I am a fashion dyslexic and I didn't know that it was a jumpsuit.)
She proceeded to laugh, and asked me if I was serious. I said yes. Not expecting a literal interpretation of my opener, she then promptly took my hand, proclaimed the dress-swap to her friends and we went to the restroom together past the bewildered bar staff
I realized that what was a fun, spontaneous, no-give-a-fuck opener could turn into a emasculating, flamboyant experience if I didn't hold frome properly in front of her, my friends and her friends.
As we were casually getting undressed in the ladies' restroom and subtly checking each other out (she was still in good shape), I initiated in building rapport by asking about her name, job, etc. and doing push-pull. Funnily enough, despite the warm opening, I was met with a few one syllable answers. So no direct, easy close. I decided to tone down the cockyness and calibrate more towards a more level-headed frame, as I realized that the emotional spike had already been given by my spontaneous opener. She ended up mentioning that she was a psychologist, which served me well as I was heading in a similar direction with my upcoming degree. I talked about my dabblings in Freudian lectures and even mentioned JBP (I know, I know). Upon me being more relatable and grounded, she immediately became warmer, and we headed up back to the crowd arm in arm, where I made a fabulous entrance back to the dance floor.
Here are some first reactions I recall:
Friend1: "That looks very (pause) nice on you".
Me: (Agreeing and amplifying): "Guess I am just very in touch with my feminine side."
GuitarGirl: (in a sarcastic tone): "Oh yeah, you look gorgeous."
Me: "It really underlines my hips and shoulders, (waving my head like a supermodel), don't you think ?"
There was no better time to introduce myself to her friends so not to appear as a cross-dressing creep. I started with the older nice-guy-looking burly dude, who turned out to be Red Jumpsuit's wealthy neighbour. Luckily enough, he went with my broke student friends to the bar where he proceeded to buy them round after round of Tequila, excitedly remarking "Finally, I am talking to real musicians !" (Not really).
I then amicably introduced myself to her dance partner, a 5'5 actually really handsome dude around the same age as RJ of nice physique, gifted with a slender face and dark Latino features. He was soft-spoken, seemd very intellectual and reacted very positively to me entering their friend group. I remarked that I was impressed by his dancing with RJ and they seemed very "passionate" together. Both proceeded to tell me that they had been dancing Salsa together for 6 entire years, hence their fluent hip motions.
Having decided to cautiously test the waters by throwing dynamite into the pond, I remarked that they made a really nice couple dancing together like that. Yes, I am a two-legged-dick. RJ laughed heartily at my question, and then proceeded to give a very insightful answer:
"Hahaha, don't worry, nothing has ever happened."
I looked at her partner, a genuinely amicable and smart man who seemed to be of good looks, and I swear that in his eyes I catched a momentary flash of a passion long lost. The friendzone must have struck again. I hereby salute you, tío.
We then swapped clothes again, as the jumpsuit undoubtedly looked better on her.
RJ's group slowly dwindled away, including her partner going home, in the end it was her and me slow-dancing, and I asked her to teach me some Salsa moves. She agreed and grabbed me by the hips. I continued push-pull and bulding rapport that telling her that I dance as well, but that my style is just a little more violent (Sidenote: I do Muay Thai), and showed her how to throw a proper jab-hook in return, before escalating into a makeout.
After some time, the bar was closing and the DJ started putting on his "Get Out"-Playlist. My friends were occupied. Now, I lived an hour away from the bar, but having gathered logistics previously, I knew that RJ lived 5 minutes away. I told her that it was quite early to end the night and the we could grab a drink "somewhere else", to which she replied:
"You can come to my place... maybe."
I shrugged it off, it didn't even matter to me if I closed her. I had a good time either way. Outcome indifference. We said our goodbyes to the remaining people, and without much discussion did end up at her place 5 minutes later. This time however, the jumpsuit stayed on the ground.
Tl, dr - Enjoy yourself, dgaf and have outcome indifference, keep frame and be aware of shit-tests. Calibrate. Don't be afraid to do extraordinary things as long as you have fun, don't hurt anybody and as long as it's legal.
If you have made it this far, thank you for reading my FR.
You guys helped me out personally so much. I have also noticed positive changes in my friends by slowly introducing the TRP to them. There's still a long way to go, but I am glad I am on it with you guys.
This one's for you.