Rant/VentingOn "Fake it till you make it" (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Robster25

First of all: English is not my mother tongue, so please excuse the mistakes I'm going to make.

Many guys who find the redpill are amazed by the results and how easy it apparently is to get the desired results (mostly when it comes to women, not overall self-improvement, because you can't fake self-improvement).

"Oh, they like me when I act cocky?" - Goes out and acts cocky. Maybe pulls one girl who is dumb/desperate enough to fuck him. Then says "Look at me now, I'm so alpha!".

When you tell him that he still needs to work on himself and that he is an act, he will throw in your face "Fake it till you make it".

What I'm kind of angry about is, that most people who tell you this lack the ability of self-reflection and don't understand what "fake it till you make it" really means. Let me try to explain what I understand by "fake it till you make it".

Fake it:

That's easy to explain. Act like you have already achieved the desired result.

Till you make it:

And that's were most people who tell you this fuck up. Because you need to put in hard work to "make it" and most people are lazy and enjoy the results they are getting from faking it. They are not willing to put in the effort to become really great, which btw is a core-principle of the redpill: Strive to become the best version of you.

No one said it would be easy to become the best version of you. But please do me a favour and don't run your mouth if you are stuck on the "fake it" level. There are no shortcuts to success. You can be fake as long as you want, but that won't change the fact that you are still a pathetic loser who doesn't know the mechanics behind his own behaviour.

Imagine person A and person B are both given the same task. They both should solve a problem. The difference between person A and person B is that person A is able to solve the problem and comes to the right conclusion while person B only knows the result, but not the way how to come to the right conclusion.

Which person would you respect more, person A or person B? Someone who is able to solve a problem, because he worked hard to understand the mechanics and who finds a conclusion based on his understanding of the problem or person B who just parrots the right answer because maybe he read about it somewhere?

Same with girls: You can tell yourself how "alpha" you are because you pulled a HB4, but you lack the confidence to approach a HB10 (in your eyes). But still you are running your mouth, because you pulled that HB4 and that should count for something, right? You can run around and tell people how alpha you are, but deep down you know that you are a fake.

Same with a potential job: Maybe you got an interview at the firm you always wanted to work at. During the interview you impress the guy who interviews you by faking knowledge which is required for the position you are applying for. Now you get hired based on your act. Soon they realize that you lack the knowledge which is required for the position and you get fired. See where faking it got you, without working on "making it"?

So please do yourself a favour and put in the work that is required to become successful. Don't be afraid to fail, I even encourage you: Fail as much as you can, because that is where knowledge comes from. From knowing what not to do, by having experienced the pain which comes from a wrong decision.

You can read as much self-improvement books as you want, but as long as you don't take action, your knowledge is worth nothing. You can fake it as much as you want, but if you don't put in the effort to "make it", you will always be a stuck on the same level you started from.

With that said I'd like to end this post with a quote from Ayn Rand:

“We can ignore reality, but we cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.”

[–]HealthyCatch1212 29 points30 points  (3 children)

I don't think that's what "Fake it till you make it" really means. Based off my own experience, I believe that line refers to something more like "Show people that you know what you're doing even though you really don't."

I'll give you an example. I used to work for some old french chefs before. These were the types who were strict as fuck in the kitchen, would kick your ass for doing shit work, and whenever you asked them about something they always seemed to know the answer. It wasn't until I working for a few months that I realized that they weren't really sure about some things as well, they would feel anxious and scared too, but they never showed it.

This made it seem that they knew what they were doing and in turn, we respected them.

So yeah, we still have to work our asses off, that's how men built empires. But whenever you feel anxious, scared or unsure of yourself, just remember to fake it till you make it.

[–]javiercer20 0 points1 point  (2 children)

you guys are only lazy/afraid to grab your balls and give a damn what others say or think...

I can bet those chefs are not focusing about faking it, it’s more like they just don’t give a fuck what you guys in the kitchen may think... then all that confidence comes all natural. Faking attitudes, postures, lines, and all that crap is only an easy way to evade the HUGE responsibility that is needed to just don’t give a damn what people have to say about you that’s it.

[–]gbdoragnic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

> you guys are only lazy/afraid to grab your balls and give a damn what others say or think...

Lone wolf types aren't what red pillers want, we aren't anti-social, we do consider the feelings of others, this isn't weak or afraid it's respect.

> Faking attitudes, postures, lines, and all that crap is only an easy way to evade the HUGE responsibility

It's not faking it's putting in your best effort, if you are afraid of looking people in the eye, start practicing, get used to it

[–]javiercer20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I don’t know what to tell you now, clearly you don’t know what it means to really don’t give a fuck what people think of you, you right away bringing antisocial and lone wolf stuff. When did I said you have to be an asshole ?? I think you’re confusing attitudes my friend

[–]UpperRedSide 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Lol your English is better than a lot of native speakers present in this sub.

[–]Robster25[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I try to make as few mistakes as possible.

[–]Fulltilt_Ronny 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Not really a fan of faking stuff. Someone asks me something i dont know? "i dont know, maybe ask xyz".

My accomplishment wasnt so great? "wasnt a big deal really, i just did xyz".

girl from a wild party back in the day wasnt that hot and friends want to tease me about it? *shrugs shoulders, continue doing what i was doing*

why would i fake anything? to impress people i couldnt care less about? to lie people straight in the face that know better or are valuable to me? not worth it.

[–]buttgoogler 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's not about faking high-value just to impress. It's about faking until this behaviour becomes a habit: body language, frame, idgaf-mentality, voice, everything.

[–]JesterWin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Excellent and very thoughtful written out piece, my only critique with faking it till you make it, is that faking it can have benefits in terms of personal improvement. i.e, someone who may have been skinny and bullied at school and lacking confident, starts going to the gym and doing boxing, and starts to put on a more confident persona, which he doesn't feel to his core, later on this becomes how he actually feels, effort has been put into constructing the personality he wants to have,

[–]NeutronStaRP 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It's not entirely true that you cannot fake it until you make it. If faking it achieves desirable results, then faking it becomes the process by which you make it. The ultimate difference between alpha and beta is experience, and that, too, is the difference between success and failure. Success to some people is the dilution of their repeated failure that is refined into a common strategy.

One of the biggest problems with your post is that it's founded on the premise that other people are perceptive, knowledgeable, and care one iota about you or what you are doing. The key reason why faking it is often perceived as really doing it is because people care about themselves more than about other people. It is only if the microscope is held over you that the fragility of your ruse can be revealed, but it is very presumptuous indeed to suggest that you cannot live an entire life built on the shaky foundations of faking, and falsehood. In fact, people have used charm, lies, and the illusion of power, to cheat their way into the very highest echelons of society.

That's why, in reality, we all work alongside idiots who should never have passed an interview, or a test, yet somehow earn 100k while the boss doesn't really seem to give a shit. They're often cocky and confident and utterly useless. Every element of their lives is fake, except for the earnest belief within themselves that they are not. If you can culture this belief within yourself, you can fake your way into a job you maybe don't deserve, or into a pair of knickers that would seem to be outside of your league.

[–]Robster25[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It is only if the microscope is held over you that the fragility of your ruse can be revealed, but it is very presumptuous indeed to suggest that you cannot live an entire life built on the shaky foundations of faking, and falsehood.

But don't you think that if you are the owner of a company and you are hiring people, that you would hold the microscope over the people who are hired, just to make sure that they don't harm your company?

[–]NeutronStaRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Certainly I would, but it depends very much on the scale of the company. If you own a multi-billion dollar company, you care about being able to demonstrate ongoing growth, not about useless Billy 1,000 miles away who's useless. You don't even know that he exists. My argument here isn't that you should aim to fake it, just that the OP's premise is flawed. The appearance of confidence and competence, in the deeply narcissistic world in which we live, can be indistinguishable from the real thing. It works on the assumption that other people are not faking it, and are perceptive enough to tell the difference. But reality is full of fake, insecure people, who can be sold a dream as long as it's grand enough to believe in. A large part of seduction is based on this. You can't fake talent or hard work, and yes, actually having talent and working hard will take you farther than trying to fake those things. But faking something that you don't have, in the context of striving towards a particular goal, can be more than a mere crutch.

[–]caunteris2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last sentence is quite funny.

The reality itself is a perception, and fake it till you make it is just changing the perception to something that u want to be or have since we all already have the tools to become who ever we want to whenever we want to.

[–]Terdmuffin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me "fake it til you make it" is more about discovering that just because you think you don't have the required skills doesn't mean you actually lack them. What you need is confidence derived from experience. "Fake it til you make it" works when you have the SKILLS but net experience and confidence (picking up chicks) but fails when you don't have the skills (lying in an interview).

[–]LatentWorldliness 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I can personally say faking it till you make it works, but that is only if behind the scenes you put in the necessary work and have that drive to be what exactly or even better than what you're faking.

Confidence, yeah I had that in my daily dealings, it was built into me during my days when i went to church being in charge of classes, preaching and selling books for them at the age of 16, it was the confidence where you had to be able to walk up to someone and make them so interested they either bought your book or left a donation and boy was i good at that. Translate that now to frame and dealing with women I had none at all, I was good with technical stuff and deep conversations but sexually and intimately I was a robot. Like most people I came to this subreddit while at a low point after a hard gotten but failed relationship at 19 with all that first love crap and deep feelings, I messed up because of my weakness and lack of proper self image as a man, then i was cheated on while working on international voyages on ships.

I started studying the redpill like I used to study my bible and other esoteric texts, learned about frame, read the sidebar over and over, and finally thought i was ready, then i failed again miserably over and over, but the failure was what lead me to be who I am today two years after taking the pill. Now unlike the past I don't have to overthink to get into playful banter or to tease, I'm able to hold my frame and be a man in many interactions, people who knew me before are amazed at who I am now. I didn't just fake it to become who I am now it was a shit ton of work and I sure as hell haven't made it but i'm working towards it.

Tl;Dr Fake it till you make it only works if you put in a shit ton of work behind the scenes and try to become the best version of yourself.

[–]Robster25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, that's what my post is all about. You can fake it, but you have to put in the work to become as good as you are pretending to be.

[–]OfficerWade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best way I’ve used fake till you make it is to cal out people. You know who you are, no friends, drinking beer, has no sex, etc

These guys are crabs in the bucket and usually follow the nice guy covert contracts of getting rich- to get laid. Fucking fake bitches if you ask me.

[–]javiercer20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t fake shit just let yourself go. That’s the biggest fear every guy has...... you guys arguing about if it’s successful to fake it or not. I see hesitations on swallowing the pill here. Instead of faking it we must think like this “ fuck all the bullshit around me I’m just gonna give a damn fuck about everything and start being loyal to myself” that’s how you improve.


[–]gbdoragnic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> And that's were most people who tell you this fuck up. Because you need to put in hard work to "make it"

This is not what it means, no one is looking for a lazy way, they just want the right way with a reasonable amount of work, this is called working smart, faking it is the work, you are afraid of starting your own business, act confident, trust yourself even if you don't feel like it, you will soon find out trying leads to success a lot more.

Men are generally are told to put themselves on some treadmill of always putting in work, but work is for a job, relationships are a different dynamic, being yourself and having fun is the work,