Field ReportDidn't escalate, girl gets disappointed (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

Sitting on my bed writing this up. Unless you're a super beginner like me, you probably won't learn anything new that you can use. Feel free to scroll past, I'm just sharing this failure to get your opinions on it, I already understand what I did wrong and I'm working on it.

Background: 17, homeschooled. 5'10, decent face, half Asian if that matters. Live with parents, highschool senior.


Parents invite family over. They have daughter, also highschool senior. Probably HB5. She's wearing a full purple track suit, Jordans and chains. I ask her if she likes hip hop. Easy opener, there's no way she's not into hip hop with that outfit.

IOI's: compliments my bandana, plays with hair, submissive eye contact, etc. She's attracted to me on some level.

Shit tests: brings up how some guys in college are so tall and have beards (implying I'm scrawny and boyish I guess). People said I wouldn't recognize shit tests at first. I did. But wasn't quite sure how to pass. I just acted like I didn't catch her subliminal message and ignored. Seemed to work ok.

I mention a hill within walking distance with a nice view. This is when I know she's into me because she asks about this hill several times and asks the view is still good at night (it's dark out at this point). I'm not stupid so I ask her if she wants to check it out.

Grab flashlight, go up to hill. Probably could've helped her hand or something but I was too pussy. Whatever. We sit down. This is where it gets cringingly obvious that she at least wanted a makeout.

We lay down on hill, she scoots over. We're maybe 6 inches apart now, looking at the stars. She's telling me how she's not as conservative as her parents, wants to be free and travel (get dicked down). She asks me to put on music. Put on R&B/Rap playlist. Music talking about sex. She's not weirded out. We're literally laying there and the song says "this tension between us got me feeling vexed". Do nothing. It's negative a billion fucking degrees outside, I can barely stop my teeth from chattering.

Inside my head, I convinced myself not to go for it because "failure is part of the game". Yeah. Not that I was going to fail at making out. But that my brain wanted me not to kiss her to have motivation or some such bullshit. Anyone else have this?

End up getting her number. Can tell she's disappointed. We're now in presence of parents so I don't even hug her goodbye. She seems lonely and kinda desperate so I might be able to salvage it. If not, oh well. I'm talking to some girls in class. I have no worries about pedestalizing this girl or getting oneitis. If it doesn't work out, I can next without bashing myself too hard for fucking up.

Kinda getting this out as therapy I guess. Love to hear thoughts (and probably roasts, it's ok) and specifically about that excuse I made up in my head.

Edit: apparently I didn't hit the save button in my contacts. LOL. next I guess

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


[–]antariusz 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Yea, this is good advice. Escalation is a ladder.

Going for a kiss when you haven’t even touched her at all is jumping up like 5 rings on the ladder, doable if you’re practiced.... but touching her hand, holding her hand, touching her body, arm around her, strong unwavering eye contact, poking her arm when you’re teasing (probably the safest option of all), even tickling are all “safer” steps to climb your way up that ladder.

[–]Self-honest 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's not about being safer. Once she was giving continuous IOIs it's game on. Pull the trigger.

[–]Mr-Ed209 58 points59 points  (9 children)

Girls get so pissed off when a guy doesn't make a move. I've been subject to it multiple times and blown more opportunities than I care to admit from my beta days. Girls have an entitlement towards sex and will decide that 'he must be gay or a virgin or something' if they feel they are dropping hints and nothing is happening.

I doubt you'll get anywhere with her number, you've already blown a golden opportunity. In my experience all the girls I blew chances with, went from having a crush on me to seething resentment seemingly overnight.

[–]Hakkeshu 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, read a story years back where a guy was cuddling with a girl on a couch at a frat party, does not make a move. Eventually she gets up and hits up another guy and they go up the stairs to fuck. He's asking what happened and is called out in it.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I'm guessing your reply is the most accurate. I edited the post, her number didn't get saved when I closed the app so oh well lol

[–]VolatileEnemy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She was HB5 and you are 17. CHILL OUT. You are not doing bad at all and you don't need to worry about any of this. Most people didn't even know about RP at 17. You have placed too much importance on all of this. This is just a game.

[–]randomTATRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man, if I only knew about TRP at 17... I would have fucked a ton of girls.

Be happy you found it at your age and just practice and practice! ... and lift. :D

[–]ENTPunisher 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This. There is no better way to describe it than "seething resentment."

[–]geo_gan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, like how dare he turn down this gift I am offering him, that all those other guys would just be dying to get a chance with.

[–]DocZTheRockstar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, I had a girl tell me she'll pursue the man. She still wanted me to make the move. Their idea of pursue is for you to first and if you got resource, then theyh will run after you. I ignored but she would still drop hints.

[–]Lol4873 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think it's possible to bounce back after a missed opportunity?

[–]MrBeamKaKa 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This should have been easy. You did all the hard work already. This is when you become a man you either take the shot or you don't. She wanted it, it was just never executed on.

[–]Cgbgjr 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Even if you are too chicken to hold her hand that does not stop you from accidentally bumping into her while you are walking. Her reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

[–]__uwotm8__ 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Breaking those escalation barriers is always hard, man. That’s why most people don’t do it. Even after years of doing it, it never becomes easy, you just learn to embrace the risk of awkwardness. Remind yourself that she wants you to do it (assuming you’re taking small incremental steps, and aren’t getting any red lights). 99% of the time she won’t do it for you. There’s literally no other way to have sex, but to fearlessly break those barriers.

[–]griz3lda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. I can't even count how many dumb ass situations just like OP's that I've been in. Le sigh.

[–]Seaay00 14 points15 points  (0 children)

compliments my bandana

Shit tests: brings up how some college guys have beards

Ahh good ol' high school game. Next time go for it until she intervenes, then recalibrate. She will express when it's too fast for her. It's our job to go forward.

[–]TheBattlingBastard 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Who cares she fucks and cuddles on your schedule not hers.

You got her number if she’s really down for you the opportunity will present it’s self again either by your doing or hers.

[–]2chazthundergut 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Damn she threw you a softball and you refused to swing.

It's okay though. Rome was not built in a day. You are on the way, so keep it up!

[–]DochreanSepp 28 points29 points  (2 children)

You should have grabbed a fleshlight instead of a flashlight, huh?

Hit her up again, it should be an easy lay if you have the logistics set up right.

[–]8887777 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Been there. Sometimes I'm not up for sex for whatever reason and just end up cuddling naked... the hamster goes CRAZY thinking she isn't good enough for whatever reason. Women will be super disappointed if you don't escalate.

[–]koldkillah83 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Kino is a Man’s best friend. I use it on dates all the time (sitting at the bar side by side vs table is perfect for it). Women will let you know they are not interested by not reciprocating touch or let you know they are by not moving or leaning into it.

At least now you have a better understanding of your SMV (since she was disappointed with the lack of a make out session).

Next time. There will always be a next time.

[–]Haki_User 2 points3 points  (1 child)


Could you elaborate further on what Kino is?

[–]randomTATRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cmon, it has to be in the glossary. Physical touch.

[–]DocZTheRockstar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have defaults for shit tests. They are:

  • Ignore it and get on doing my thing
  • Be like "Whaat??", "Suuuuure lol.", "Uuuh cool..."
  • React with my face. Add in the "Whaaat?" and it can make it funnier.

I'll have a comeback 60% of the time but I do these without trying. The realm of shit testing isn't about logic so it'll make me go whaaat? Then I'll think of a comeback off the top of my head.

[–]koldkillah83 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kino is short for kinesthetics. Using touch to promote sexual tension between you and a woman. There are post about it on TRP. I use it to judge how a woman feels about me almost like a temperature gauge.

[–]millo69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This post reminds me of a couple days ago. I went on a date with a girl (I could tell she was into me) went back to the house and eventually were laying down watching TV. I had this battle inside my head about if I should escalate or not and when would be the perfect time to escalate. Eventually I did but I wish I didnt take so long.

[–]RandomlyChosenTitle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you made up an excuse to that you could justify letting the fear get the best of you. Next time, adjust that thought to "failure is part of the game, therefore I have nothing to lose by escalating."

I would actually take it a step further than that and adopt the mindset that escalating alone equals success. Maybe she'll respond, maybe she won't. Who cares? You've improved your own game simply by having the balls to take action, and it will pay dividends later. You'll also develop outcome independence, which will take your game to the next level.

As a beginner, the trick is to never give yourself an excuse not to act, because you'll inevitable take it.

[–]mauricelageorge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Asian guys always too shy..Do not be shy...

[–]HauntedPepper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Slut was begging for the D but you failed to supply it. Probably just as well. Women who are into hip hop are usually walking STD factories.

[–]Highborn_Hellest 0 points1 point  (4 children)

What does hb5/6 etc stand for? New to this subreddit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

"hot babe (rating)". If you're new you should read the sidebar. If you're on mobile it's in community information. Just start with the first link and go down. It'll take a day or two

[–]Highborn_Hellest 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I've read the rational male, and the tactical guide to woman, and watch the red man group, when my time allows. I'm not that new, I just don't know the acronyms :)

Thanks btw

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I think there's a glossary of acronyms and frequently used terms in the sidebar, not fully updated but it'll help with the common ones

[–]Highborn_Hellest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes there is, thanks for tip about the community tab

[–]clavabot -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Same, coulda lost that v card but I was too much of a pussy ;-;