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Field ReportLessons Learned on What Kills Attraction from a Weekend Trip with a HB6 (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Tousen71

Context:

Went on a long weekend trip with an expiring plate this past weekend. It was a free trip up the coast and she was driving so I figured why not, I’d get to see some friends I knew in the area. However, as you can probably guess, 3 days in close proximity with a girl you’re just fucking is WAY too much time. The trip was exhausting by the end of it but enlightening in providing clarity to EVERY PAST RELATIONSHIP where I was pursuing a woman with higher SMV and demonstrating classic BP behavior.

So I wanted to make a clear post breaking down all the bad behaviors we tend to perform as men with high interest and just how unattractive they are from the other side.

The Lessons:

If a girl has low interest (standoffish on dates, flaky, not that physically affectionate, on their phones etc. etc.)...

  • Chasing her only makes it worse

I displayed all the above low interest behaviors during our weekend. I was funny and charming at times but when she would bring 90% energy to my 10, it would quickly get annoying and exhausting, so play it cool. If a girl backs off, don’t chase her. Ever. Don’t call. Don’t text. Let her come to you or let her walk.

  • Indifference is everything

This one is simple but act like you don’t give af. That you could take it or leave it. Someone who displays high interest is in the weaker position because they’re feelings are clear. Let the girl do that. In the beginning set up dates and back off. If she says she’s busy tell her to hit you up when she’s free and leave it alone. Girls aren’t dumb. If they’re interested they will reach out. If not, move on.

  • Accept that you may not get her or get her back and be okay with that

With high quality girls it’s easy to get caught up on them. They’re rare. But don’t. If you fucked it with a HB8+ let it go for good. If she reaches out tell her to come through for a drink and a chance to talk. No bars, no restaurants (that will weed out the flakes). On my trip with this girl a recurring thought was “I’m never doing this again” so understand if a girl has lost interest there’s VERY little you can do to get her back aside from walking away completely and letting her decide.

  • Let her reach out and take your time getting back

Again, let a girl reach out. In my situation there was next to nothing this girl could do to get me to reach out to her in the future other than give me effortless sex. If a girl you really liked reaches back out, understand she just wants some easy dick. Make it easy, invite her over, but take your time getting back (4 hours to a day).

  • Changing an impression is nearly impossible

It’s that simple. If you fucked up with a high quality girl, let it go. In my head, there’s little if anything this HB6 could do to get me to come around. Once I’ve lost interest it’s typically gone and unless she just got bad af all of a sudden (not happening) that fact isn’t changing. We are who we are, and are either compatible or not.

  • Don’t overpursue, give them the space to reach out

Let them reach out. Can’t say this enough. No check in texts. No good mornings. No sending music or videos to check out. That’s some weak insecure shit. Leave them alone. It shows strength that you don’t care if you never talk again. They’ll think about you from time to time and if the impression you created before you fucked up was good enough, there’s a chance they MAY reach back out to confirm/test their last memory of you.

  • Don’t try to be overly cutesy or goofy, it just makes you look pitiful

The HB6 is short. Below 5’ and I’m above 6’. I’m being comfortable around me, she’d do these goofy little short things like struggle to get up on chairs or in tall cars. She thought it was cute. It wasn’t. It just looked pathetic and unattractive and made me think “what the fuck am I doing with this chick?”

Don’t be goofy fellas. Seriously. It never works. Maintain frame always and be charming funny (talk shit about her in a funny way).

  • Don’t show weakness in the early stages (be stress free and fun)

Don’t complain about the dating world. Don’t complain about your weaknesses and insecurities. No self deprecating humor. Just shut the fuck up and be stress free and fun.

  • Don’t yap all the time (be comfortable in silence)

Self explanatory. Shut the fuck and speak when asking a question or answering one. And be quick about it. No one likes to listen but everyone loves to speak. Recognize this and flip the script.

  • Don’t let a girl walk all over you. It’ll kill all attraction.

I treated this girl like shit 10% of this weekend. Got mad, called her out, teased her. I did it because I got annoyed and she laughed it all off. I lost even more respect. Dont let your girl walk on you fellas. It will only make things much, much worse.

  • You can’t talk someone into liking you. They either do or they don’t

Be yourself. Just keep it restrained in the beginning. Let the walls come down slowly. If a girl doesn’t like you, you can’t convince her. There’s literally NOTHING you can do. So let it go and rest easy that you did all you could and WALK AWAY.

TLDR: Don’t be annoying or weak with women. It’ll kill attraction and once it’s gone good luck getting it back. You won’t. Cut your losses, move on, and be cool.


[–]Morphs_ 162 points163 points  (16 children)

Don't make the takeaway point about the behavior that other guys on this forum should elicit. Then you're simply missing what YOU could have done better.

Honestly it sounds like you and the girl had no chemistry going on and you could have seen from miles away that this trip wasn't going to be that much fun.

This summer I went on a vacation with a FwB and it was super chill, mainly because we valued the same stuff on our trip, had good conversations, enjoyed the same food, etc. I knew this beforehand and the trip was a cool as I thought it would be.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 64 points65 points  (13 children)

You may be further ahead than him and have internalised more than you realise. This is him figuring stuff out. If there's only a small number of girls you can get on with it's time to figure out why.

[–]Zameryki 35 points36 points  (12 children)

IMO, chemistry is non-negotiable. One experience I remember clearly is this girl who on paper was ideal. For her, I was "on paper" ideal. I won't go into detail, but we tried hard to get along. She made huge efforts.
She even introducing me to her family, invited me out with all her friends, had me sleep at her house, and eat breakfast and lunch with her family.
I got along great with her dad and her brother, but me and her just had something missing.

We hung out 3 more times. The 3rd time we just kind of realized, "this isn't organic." We still keep in touch sometimes, and there's no bad blood. However, this experience taught me a lot.

This wasn't a case where more "self-improvement" would have solved the issue. We just simply were on "different wave lengths." We had the same interests, and we found each other sexually attractive, and had a lot of mutual respect and admiration for one another. However, there's just times when you have to accept, "this ain't organic."

I get along, as in truly enjoy, the company of very few girls. Why would this be something that one would need to change?

[–]Synacku 18 points19 points  (5 children)

Dating someone like that is the STRANGEST feeling. I've been on different pages a lot with girls when it comes to disagreements or whatever, but when you're truly on different wavelengths with someone it is just creepy weird to me. I dated a girl once just like you described. We didn't really fight but it took a lot of effort from both of us to continue dating. The jokes were stale. Conversation didn't go anywhere. It was nonstop try hard. We cut it loose on New Years day and never talked to each other ever again.

[–]VolatileEnemy 0 points1 point  (4 children)

What about the opposite? I met a girl recently and it goes really well. I mean, everything is awesome. But I must have started from a low point because after I had gotten her number she explained that she just wanted to be "friends and that if that's okay she'd come out for more drinks." This is of course new territory to me, because usually a girl will leave things "murky" and later decide what to do after she gets to know you more.

Anyway, since then went out about 3 times for drinks and each time has been lots of fun. Great conversation. She's laughing the whole time. I'm doing kino she's not pulling back. Body language seems receptive. I make fun of her and she loves it. Maybe it's a matter of me going in for a kiss the next time, which I didn't do yet because well she clearly said she just wanted to be friends. She doesn't initiate the touching so it's possible she does want to be just friends.

When there is no chemistry, body language bad, she's not receptive to anything you're doing, you can tell nothing is going on, that it's already a bust. But this one is a little murkier I guess because she eliminated me from the start I can't tell now if she's flirting or if she's just being a friend. I figure if she get desperate she will have to drop bigger clues like initiating touching or something.

[–]Synacku 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Just go for it.

Worst case she says nope let's keep being friends and you've got someone fun to hang out with.

Best case she says yes and everything is amazing.

Go on Ross, go get Rachel. She's your lobster.

[–]VolatileEnemy -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Yes this was my strategy (which you know has never worked badly, even with women who rejected me at least I got 2-3 makeout sessions) but then some asshole fucked with my mind, he's very experienced with women (as far as I can tell) and he said to me on the phone "no don't make a move here, she looks like she's assessing you by first having you as a friend", not sure maybe the guy isn't as experienced as I thought or he does know something I can't tell, hence my own self-doubt now. I am going to try to go for it next time.

It's one of those things you know, you get a lot of successes over the years, then you get a few back-to-back failures and you get some hesitation.

I'm not a big believer that you can ever really "turn things around" if you start from a weak position, but then again I've seen it happen successfully too. I've also seen people in strong positions lose too.

[–]Synacku 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Seriously fuck him. He doesn't have your best interests in mind.

If the thought ever entered your mind and you want it, go for it.

I'm currently in the process of constantly telling myself this a lot lately. It works. Results happen quicker.

[–]VolatileEnemy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I agree, if she's into me this much at this point, the worst that can happen is she gets mad a little that I tried to kiss her and says "i thought we were just really good friends!" big whoop

I told her next time we're going into the city for a night out. I guess I've been kinda stalling for a weekend outing.

Okay, now that I think about it, there was this one time she said something about not understanding how some dresses work that she's "new to this" sort of fashion (I didn't think much at the time but thought it was weird). It was the sort of thing you say if you were not a very experienced girl who's been dating a while, or you had a history of being the ugly nerdy chick and just recently lost a lot of weight. Could be that she's just a little weird and dorky (but she looks like a sexy librarian). I've dated girls and this one just doesn't reveal much about herself. She doesn't drop proper signals aside from laughing at jokes.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your goals aren’t necessarily OPs goals. It’s cool to offer advice and experiences, I just didn’t like the binaryness of your point. My previous reply still stands as you, me and OP are all likely at 3 different points in our journey and the best way to internalise stuff that now seems obvious to someone like you is to experience it and work it out like OP is doing here.

You said there was no chemistry between the two. I struggle to find chemistry with any girls so clearly the problem is with me and I want work on that until I have abundance to be able to pick and choose like you can. Maybe OP wants to work on this like I do.

Your last paragraph is a silly question. Of course you want to have a monopoly with girls for all the reasons TRP states. If you can only get on with a few and this is not really resulting in what you/I want then it’s up to us to figure out why and do our best to work on making progress.

[–]dDiegoDLV 0 points1 point  (3 children)

we found each other sexually attractive, and had a lot of mutual respect and admiration for one another.

and you didnt smash? Not making fun of you. Something doesn't add up with your comment, but I can't quite figure out what it is.

When there is no "chemistry" I know it's either because I messed up, she isn't pretty enough for me, our interests and ambition aren't the same, or whatever. There is always a reason though.

[–]Zameryki 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Dude there WAS sexual chemistry. We did it all. while her “BFF” was in the bunk bed above, and another time when her brother (still cool with him) was in the room right next to us, clearly able to hear.

One of the reasons could be language. Buenos Aires Spanish uses lots of slang and idioms. I had to be paying attention to understand what she meant when she was joking around. Also, my Mexican jokes she didn’t always understand. ANOTHER one of the reasons could be politics, (Argentinian, very left leaning, “feminist” - Feminism there is NOT even close to the same thing as feminism in the Anglosphere.) I was very far right back then. Living in Argentina, (they suffered under fascism big time not too long ago,) they are quite scarred by right leaning politics. I never let politics be a topic of discussion, but she knew where I stood on many issues, and that I was pro Trump.

Language, (meaning humor and shades of nuance) might have been the biggest thing. Yeah if you’re near natively fluent in one dialect of Spanish you can talk to anyone about “formal” topics, but slang is an issue. I’m having the same problem now adjusting to European Spanish.

[–]dDiegoDLV 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That makes sense. Was her BFF another chic or an orbiter? Go for the threesome if it's a chic. Latin women I have known (mostly right off the boat) tended to be the most reserved. Maybe I was just bluer back then.

she knew where I stood on many issues, and that I was pro-Trump.

Keep your politics to yourself. There is not much to gain by sharing information. Be the guy who she doesn't really know what you do for work or what you are about. Women love mysterious men.

On the other hand, it's obvious you DGAF. It's over and you are moving on to new adventures. Good job.

[–]Zameryki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her BFF was another chic, but I hooked my friend up with her since I thought it'd be more fun.

In terms of reserved, it depends on where, what social class, AND your race / perceived Social Class. Argentinas, (especially Porteñas,) think their gods gift to the Universe, but luckily I had great an unbelievably high status social circle, and the right look demeanor etc. Different countries in LA have pretty different attitudes towards hooking up. In some places (Brazil) a gringo can pull 9s and 10s with decent game, not having to spend a dime. In other countries, it's not like that. Buenos Aires is like Italy, social circle is key, (but not AS bad as Italy.) Only it's worse cause the girls get married and have kids younger.

We never really discussed politics, but she tried to talk a lot of philosophical garbage, which was annoying. Me and her dad talked politics while she was in earshot maybe on two occasions, (hey, they had an amazing pool, and her brother and me were homies!) and she one time tried to explain to me that "USA" feminists are psycho, which I just kind of agreed and amplified IIRC.

Yeah this was years ago man. I just felt I needed to say bring this up. The trend here seems to be that lifting and self improvement will make anything possible. This girl couldn't have liked me more. However, our personalities just didn't have that spark.

What I'm saying is: Lifting, being interesting, improving oneself etc. Opens Doors. However, just because a particular door opens up for you, doesn't mean that you'll be happy with what's behind it.

[–]TheLanternFlame 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is me with one of the girls I dated. Talk to her honestly that this isn't working at all. No bad blood, nothing to worry about too.

[–]Luckyluke23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you make a good point man.

don't go on a trip to go on a trip with a women you are seeing. go on a trip to go do somethig, go see something. then just bring her along.

[–]sedditandtrp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I prevent a girl from walking all over me? He was pretty vague about it...

[–]Soybeanrice 28 points29 points  (1 child)

The lesson here is - don’t agree to go on an exclusive trip with someone you don’t like.

Sure you can pull lessons from this, but I don’t get the whole “she’s lower than me, so now IM the girl” approach.

Not all dudes pursuing girls are pursuing higher value girls. Rules of game apply for lower value and higher value girls, hence AWALT.

[–]FrankCostanza111 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sure you can pull lessons from this, but I don’t get the whole “she’s lower than me, so now IM the girl” approach.

Not all dudes pursuing girls are pursuing higher value girls. Rules of game apply for lower value and higher value girls, hence AWALT.

Yeah, this is a negative mindset OP has. He assumes that all girls are higher value than him, so he sees himself as this lower-value 6 he took a vacation with. He identifies more with her annoying ass than the high-value man he should see himself as.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 52 points53 points  (3 children)

The canonical problem with this field report is, it's trying to make generalizations about how women think and behave, based on how one man thought and behaved in the company of one specific woman.

Even if these specific examples work okay in this context, this is a great way to understand situations in a spectacularly wrong manner. Same principle as women seeing men getting tribal and military tattoos, and assuming men would be more attracted to them if they got random ink.

[–]Soybeanrice 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This this this - also report is based on an agreed upon exclusive trip

[–]FrankCostanza111 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. This post is ass-backwards and he is just venting his emotions. He went on a vacation with a girl he didn't really like and spent too much time with her. That'll drive anybody crazy, even if it's two platonic friends who don't like each other that much.

[–]1Zanford 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, this FR is a lot of gender projection. The conclusions aren't wrong, but they are just rehashes of basic TRP principles (don't be clingy etc.) and the FR doesn't bring anything to them.

[–]LucidCunning 57 points58 points  (9 children)

" I treated this girl like shit 10% of this weekend. Got mad, called her out, teased her. I did it because I got annoyed and she laughed it all off. I lost even more respect. Dont let your girl walk on you fellas. It will only make things much, much worse. "

This is one of the most recent lessons I've learned in my RP journey. Showing irritation in any way that isn't framed perfectly results in a net loss or respect. Basically, you have to keep your emotions completely in check when expressing irritation. Women will come at you *flailing* with their emotions and we're expected to deal with all of that shit, but we break our stoicism for one moment and it's all over. It's ridiculous, but it's reality.

[–]DocZTheRockstar 25 points26 points  (7 children)

Sounds like a lot of stress. No thanks.

[–]1StinkyDiaper 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Exactly. Lots of guys would just rather jack off, and I don’t blame them. No pussy is worth that much work. If the sex doesn’t happen easily and flow naturally, ghost her and move along to another woman.

[–]spistruth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! mgtow plus nofap here. Guys have much more to do than just fulfill there sexual desires. There is so much more to this world, to life.

[–]Lib3rtarianSocialist 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Honestly, after internalizing how it all works, it only feels natural and freeing to be completely stoic. But I can understand not everyone may be like that.

[–]LucidCunning 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I feel the same as you, lately. Freeing my mind from the idea that women are made of sugar and spice has given me a more cynical outlook which translates into natural, unforced stoicism.

[–]LordTutanKhamon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Had something similar going on with real sugar and other forms of addiction. Stoicism isn’t that hard when you master it. But I guess there’s always that girl that will make you lose it all and start all over again... sometimes an HB8, sometimes a Big Mac.. sometimes just a sip of that g&T

[–]Kasplazm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's honestly not that hard.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t know, ive always found that not caring to hide my annoyance or irritation w a girl makes them more attracted to me. You just can’t seem bent out of shape.

[–]RedIntrovert 33 points34 points  (7 children)

Pinging a girl once a week is acceptable if you have not banged her yet.

Otherwise you’re setting yourself up a permanent dry spell. Remember: men are the hornier sex, men are the ones that approach.

Pinging also has a utilitarian purpose. If you chatted but then the conversation died, ping her 4 days later.

No response? Move on. Platonic response? Give it another go at setting up a meet.

If however you’ve already banged and get this behaviour, then yes, move on.

[–]Sciptr 1 point2 points  (6 children)

It’s setting up for a dry spell because it’s too often for a girl you’ve already had?

[–]RedIntrovert 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I meant if you have not banged her yet, and then ping her once or twice over two weeks, the you’ll have no confirmation that she’s not interested.

After you’ve slept together if she goes cold then yeah, it’s okay to ignore her and forget about her.

[–]Sciptr 1 point2 points  (1 child)

So just to clarify you believe if you sleep together and she’s interested, she’ll come to you no matter what for the most part?

[–]destraht 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trying to pin it down to a global rule for all places and cultures is impossible. If you have banged her then expect and demand more response than the other similar women that you haven't banged.

[–]dDiegoDLV 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I meant if you have no banged her yet, and then don’t ping her once or twice over two weeks, the you’ll have no confirmation that she’s not interested.

The confirmation is that she hasn't pinged you. The amount of effort I am willing to put into any woman now (especially one I haven't fucked) is really low. I'd rather just start talking to a new woman. My SMV is rising and theirs is going the other way.

[–]RedIntrovert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck I had a typo in my reply.

To clarify: if you have NOT banged her, you gotta ping her once or twice to gauge interest level. If you already HAVE banged her and it’s gone cold, then ping once and then drop her if you don’t get a response.

[–]chrisname 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Think he means if you don't message at all.

[–]buttgoogler 14 points15 points  (2 children)

If she says she’s busy tell her to hit you up when she’s free and leave it alone. Girls aren’t dumb. If they’re interested they will reach out. If not, move on.

See, that's what confused me a lot a couple of months ago. I was going back and forth with this one girl I was really interested in: she's beautiful, smart and has a minimum of red flags. We were chatting and at one moment the whole thing kinda stopped. Considering aforecited rule, it would've ended there. But after a couple of weeks, instead of nexting her, I reached with "Hey, what's new" or some shit and that was the point where it started to get better. She's now on her way from being a plate to something more complicated, but my point is: sometimes it's worth shooting one more time before nexting. Don't blindly next girls you're truly interested in. Kinda obvious, but just my 2 cents.

[–]dDiegoDLV 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We were chatting and at one moment the whole thing kinda stopped.

She met Chad and couldn't get off his dick long enough to text you

I reached with "Hey, what's new" or some shit and that was the point where it started to get better

Chad dumped her

Seriously, unless she had something major going on with family, some other guy came into the picture temporarily and was more interesting than you.

[–]destraht 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The trick is to not let yourself get butthurt by failed efforts. So only push as hard as you know that you have the resiliency to shrug any of the whimsical female actions as nothing. Women are all over the place with many options pulling them, other lovers, periods and ovulations. I lost out on several top notch women because they pulled shit and really yanked me around but then later wanted to fuck but I was too butthurt to just go over and rail them, trying to teach them a lesson, justify my hurt feelings or get even. In these cases I would have been a lot happier if I would have let the water bead right off my back and just fucked them like the silly little girls that they are.

[–]NeedingAdvice86 95 points96 points  (3 children)

Damn you are in for some hard times...because all you kept saying is that you should move and don't change...just move on.

Frankly sounds like you were just an insufferable, butthurt jackass over this weekend because you decided that it was going to be a bad timead idea so YOU fucking ruined everyone's weekend with your shitty attitude and behavior.....hate people like this. You even admit that you treated the girl like shit...what the fuck did you expect the weekend to be like you with you moping around like a fucking twit and making everyone miserable?

Yes, I would say that you need move on...people fucking hate being around someone that fucks up a trip and tries to make everyone else miserable.

[–]OutToAllenBANG 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Agreed, you can be a strong, stoic dude without being a fucking asshole. Being an asshole doesn’t mean you’re red pilled. You can treat everyone in your life with respect, be an absolute catch that takes shit from no one, and still be RP’d.

[–]pussykiller009 38 points39 points  (0 children)

TLDR; High quality man ,over 6’ tall dating a low quality midget woman lost attraction when he found out about TRP and SMV.

[–]Lambdal7 18 points19 points  (3 children)

These lessons are only for people you don't like.

If you like the person, all these things are positive and make you like her more (showing interest, being goofy, check in texts etc)

[–]WIP1992 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Yeah I really don't agree with you on this one, definitely not chasing to a point is how it should be but this is not a blanket use case for all girls. You can pursue a girl without looking desperate, at the end of the day most girls assume that's what we do. Further, they'll assume we're not interested if we don't. I don't chase after girls by any means but you have to make the effort, it's clear to me that you just didn't have chemistry with this girl and have applied it generally to all.

[–]Tousen71[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I hear you but this isn’t about gaming the girl. It’s about how I felt when I had low interest in a HB6. When I’m speaking on behavior for guys, I’m speaking on how we tend to act with high quality girls who have low interest in us and how it may come across.

[–]WIP1992 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok fair enough I get you, I suppose what I'm getting at is there's nothing wrong with pursuing a girl. Obviously it's up to us to know if we're being fucked around 👍

[–]kellykebab 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't understand this post. You're telling guys what not to do by giving examples of what a girl did wrong? Whole thing was just confusing.

[–]lapeparoja 2 points3 points  (1 child)

If she doesnt think you are hot, being indifferent will do nothing to seal the deal, but that's OK, at least you wont be an orbiter and you will save your time and resources.

[–]Tousen71[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t believe in the long term value of trying to convince a girl to like you. It can work, sometimes orbiters have their day, but it’s a good way to end up a beta Male provider while your girl gets dicked down by an alpha every year or so.

[–]DropDeadTyrant 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I was never able to ignore people. last year, I tried incoporating trp by ignoring this girl, but I'd always end up saying something. this year, I have no problem ignoring them. I see the game before it even starts: a girl talks when she has no one to text or her friends aren't there, but when she's got people to text, she ignores you. I don't entertain it anymore.

This one girl comes to class everyday expecting me to say something to her because I was being beta last year by entertaining her. Now that I ignore her, I feel better and stronger. I see the change. Everytime I open my mouth to talk to someone, she turns around expecting me to say something to her. When I walk into class, she looks at me waiting to talk. I don't even acknowledge her. Occassionally, she gets brave enough to actually say something, she even puts down her phone now, but I still practice being aloof and not giving a fuck.

It was truly one of the hardest lessons to learn. But, it teaches you how to rely on yourself. I no longer need to involve someone else in my life to be content. I can go days without talking to people without cracking. I can pull my attention when I want to now. This was a huge step for me and I'm glad someone mentioned its importance again.

[–]Tousen71[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good for you bro. That mindset is everything in life. Got to be good on your own terms and develop content from within.

[–]Anthony1881 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Too many bull shit rules for me...it sounds like you still feel you're fucked up and you are the problem in your relationships....let it go, why do you care anyway?

[–]coopdawgX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great post. I think a lot of men (myself included) tend to get hung up when a hot chick ghosts you or goes cold. It happens. Each time I thought it was the worst thing in the world only to come across another Hb8-10 later on. If you're consistently pulling these types of chicks and getting them on dates, you're doing something right.

Your explanation of how seeing a girl with lower SMV can be annoying is certainly a testament to a similar situation I was in. I used to see a girl who was no better than an HB6 on her very best day. I wouldn't even want to be seen in public with this one. After ghosting her for about 4 months I randomly hit her up one day to fulfill my urges. During sex, I couldn't help but think about how unattractive she was or how I ever brought myself to bang her in the first place. She would breathe into my mouth with her hot ass breath and it was utterly terrible. Sent her on her way and ghosted her again. Shed send me snapchats a few times a day which I never bothered replying to, yet she would send more the next day as if it never happened. Theres no way any other guy was seeing her during the time I ghosted her - I can see why.

Stuff like this just puts into a lot into perspective.

[–]Seaay00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Better title: Lessons Learned, I can't stand a girl that I can't stand (feat. false gender mirroring)

[–]friendlynaboureeno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ive always killed the attraction by I guess acting weak and needy - which is totally lame on my part. Plenty of fish in the sea, but whatever women are fucked anyways im focusing on myself

[–]1Zanford 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This FR is kinda all over. You seem to be engaging in some gender projection: showing how a girl being annoygingly clingy proves that GUYS shouldnt' be too clingy. While the latter fact is true (and probably the #1 core tenet of TRP and nothing new), the genders are not interchangeable, and so showing a girl being too clingy is not the best evidence.

Also your writing is all over, you should more carefully delineate when you're talking about the girl's behavior and the road trip from when you are talking about your own BP behavior in the past.

TL;DR the things you say are true, but not well written, and they are all pretty basic ('don't be annoying or weak'...yeah no shit).

[–]Tousen71[S] -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Lol that’s pretty funny actually

[–]1Zanford 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Props for taking criticism well (or for delivering the most deadpan of sarcasm)

I think the best takeaway lesson from this specific FR is that it's good to be aware of when you're not longer really into a plate, and to just let her go (rather than spending a lot of time with her hoping you will regain interest and/or because you don't want a dry spell)

ALso, despite what I said about gender projection (which is still true), I suppose that if an experience like this (an annoying clingy girl) helps a guy internalize how annoying it might be for a girl to feel that way, and that helps him be less clingy and more aloof nd improve his game, then, hey, whatever works

[–]2chazthundergut 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You spent a weekend being some goofy chick's time whore and didn't get any pussy from it.

You learn from it.

And she was never your plate.

[–]Tousen71[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I did get pussy. I’ve been fucking this girl for awhile but I should’ve included that.

[–]hb8only 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tl:dr - imagine her without makeup and unshaved legs and tell me if she is still so hot and you need to behave like a faggot...

[–]youngafricenprince 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My fundamental problem with this post is that you're making it sound like what both men and women find attractive/unattractive is basically the same and can be applied "from both sides". It's a bit more complicated than that. That being said, you raise some valid points. Good refreshment course on how not to be needy.

[–]dani098 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I took my favorite FWB on a weekend trip just this Saturday night. Big mistake, I mean we’re just not compatible. Needless to say she got downgraded to the bottom

[–]Tousen71[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s like that sometimes. Extended non-sexual attention is a good qualifier for FWB.

[–]new_alpha -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yep. Good succinct post.

I've learned (acknowledged) all the above through hard experiences, they are true and you may have to go through fails like I did to completely absorb these concepts. It doesn't mean I still don't do shit like this, the fact is I just know why I failed...