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Red Pill ExampleBe careful with your interactions with women that you are not interested in (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1mugenowns

Women can not be hit on without telling the world. You may want to consider Mike Pence's approach to being around women alone. This isn't a 'pound me too' post. It's more protecting your reputation. However, it's related.

This is mostly aimed at younger men. High school or college, or men who are new to the work force and life. Maybe you're away from home found a church to go to; if you've always attended church functions with your family then this is for you. Veterans on here won't be surprised, but if you can find value in this then great. Anyway enough foreplay.

I'm going to share two stories from my job, and then I'll go over the lessons taken from them.

  1. Janice

There is a woman at my job. We'll call her Janice...because why not. She's pretty attractive. She's late 30s but aged incredibly well, with a cute face, and decent body. Most men would find her attractive. She's not my type and she's got an attitude that I wouldn't tolerate, but other men like her. Anyways I was talking to a coworker about something (I don't remember) when Janice came over and started a conversation with me. Here's a paraphrasing of how it went. As you imagine this scenario imagine me as portrayed by Michael B. Jordan.

Janice: Hey, do you know So-and-So from other other location?

Me: No

Janice: Well i went over there for something and he was totally hitting on me

Me:Okay...?

Janice: It was just weird. Like he know's I'm with my boyfriend. Why would he hit on me?

Me: I don't know?

Janice: Like he was telling me that he misses me working there and he wants to come visit me and how much he likes talking to me. Was was also saying we should hang out sometime and I was like well I don't think...

Me in my head: Is she autistic? I don't know this guy. I don't care about this guy. Damn.

Janice: that my boyfriend would like that. Like it's just weird he would say that.

Me; yeah that's crazy. Anyways time to hit the ol' dusty trail.

As I escaped she continued the story with the coworker whom I was talking with. I pondered about why she insisted on talking my ear off about someone I don't know. And why a girl as attractive as her was making such a big deal out of it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it's because she wanted people to know that she was hit on.

Imagine you're at starbucks on vacation someone far from home and some girl comes up and starts telling you how attractive you are and asking you out. You tell her that you're flying home tonight, but definitely enjoyed the compliments. You'd probably feel pretty good about yourself right? Maybe you'll tell a friend or two. But not women, they don't feel good about it unless everyone knows they were hit on. Hell look at all the subs on reddit dedicated to mocking men for hitting on women. Some of it is funny and definitely worth posting (I saw a Niceguys post where a woman told a man she wasn't interested, and he immediately call her the n-word. Made me laugh), but most of the time it's just women being narcissistic. Reddit is better than social media. Instagram, facebook, snapchat, I've seen more than a few screenshots of conversations with men where women for some reason need to publicly put these men on blast because they were a little out of line. It's because these women want all their friends and followers to see them being flirted with.

Same thing with Janice. Was that guy out of line hitting on her even though he knew she had a man? Yes, I think so. Even if I 100% believe her version of the story and that he actually said all those things nothing was really that bad. A little much, but nothing that bad. But she couldn't resist telling me and whoever else all about it. Sad.

  1. Carol

Next is a story about yours truly and a woman named carol. Now I was chatting with a newer coworker. She was telling me about one area of our job site, and how frustrated some of the people get there because everyone makes a mess there.

Me: Oh yeah, I've heard Melanie and Carol complain more than once. I try to make sure anything I put there goes in it's proper place. It's not hard. People do that all over. They just throw things wherever is easiest and don't think about the next person having to clean it up. It sucks.

Coworker: Yeah, Carol said that you're good about not making a mess. Even if you do like to stare at her ass.

At this point my jaw fell open. I had not response. I weakly tried to deny it, but my worker merely said "uh huh" clearly not believing me.

About me and Carol. I've been at my job about 5 years, and Carol has been there a little longer than that. We've talked maybe 10 times in these years. And it's almost always been work related (she had a boyfriend there who started the same time I did. I didn't know about their relationship until after their 3rd anniversary). My point is that she and I never talk.

Now about Carol's looks. She's decently attractive I guess. However, she is 100% not at all my type. I have a very particular type that I am attracted to, and very seldom do I stray from this. She doesn't fit the bill at all. I almost wanted to laugh at the allegation because any of my friends who know what I go for would know that she's full of shit. It's not that she's ugly, it's me. Lastly I should note that Carol is around 50 years old. Again she looks really healthy for her age, but that makes her old enough to be my mom. I don't mind the occasional cougar hunt, but that's too much.

Now after being confused and frustrated about this situation I realized some important things and I thought I'd share them here for you lads who may not know.

  • If a woman gets hit on she has to tell people. Both Janice and Carol are examples of this. Even if Janice was hit on and I was checking out Carol they couldn't contain themselves. They couldn't just enjoy the ego boost and move on. Janice had to tell me about others even after I told her I had no idea who that guy was. Carol told at least one person, but probably more. So if you hit on a woman expect that others will hear about it, especially if it doesn't go well. Be wary of flirting in your church, social circle, work place, school, etc. Do not expect any kind of discretion on her part.
  • Women will see things that are not there, and they do not have any rational thinking when it comes to this kind of stuff. Taking 30 seconds to ask herself if a man young enough to be her son would be checking her out would have a been a good idea on Carol's part, but she didn't. She also didn't seem to ask herself if maybe she was imagining things. I do this all the time; sometimes a woman I don't know will be extra friendly with me to the point I wonder if she's flirting. I usually just assume that she's just being friendly. Women...well not so much. As much as they bitch about random men mistaking their kindness for flirting, they don't seem to have a problem jumping to conclusions about men's intentions. This is why I don't believe Janice's story. Who knows what was really said.
  • They will mess with your reputation. Both of these women went around sharing stories about men they thought were attracted to them. However, it wasn't enough to just say 'oh man, this guy at our other location was hitting on me." or "someone here checks out my butt." No, they had to name them. Never mind how that makes the person look. Now for me it wasn't a big deal if I was staring at her or not (she didn't get HR involved), but the upper management at my company has rules about fraternizing with subordinates and a comment like that could end their career. Protect yourselves.
  • Women have no idea how worthless most male attention is. I was on a website for a few years that was like myspace mixed with match.com. On there tons of guys would hound women for nudes, and if you were friends with the girl you could see it on her timeline. Women on there would have to reply to all the guys (if you just delete the public message it doesn't show up on your timeline), and tell them some sassy response so everyone could see that they're being hit on, but that they 'respect themselves' too much to send nudes or have sex or whatever. And they always had a 'gotcha' response that makes you want to say 'you go girl." Makes me want to vomit. Well I always thought those women were retarded for not realizing that they spend more time responding to the request for sex than the guy did posting it. It takes about 30 seconds to slide in a girls DMs and ask for a hook up. And guys that do that are about to do that to literally thousands of girls a day. But do women realize this? Nope. Did Carol take the time to realize that, because of her age, that if I'm checking her out I must be doing it to everyone and that she isn't special? Nope. She probably loves the idea of attention from a strapping young man such as myself.
  • Women love the attention. Even if they're not interested in the guy, they love being wanted. They also love being the victim. Back to the screenshots of women being creeped on, every website, app, or messaging service that allows you to talk to others has a block feature. There's not excuse for women to allow a conversation like that to go as far as it does. Look at the screenshots and see how long women will let it get drug on just so they can show off to the world. Even in subs like Niceguys once the guy turns into a jerk there's nothing to stop them from blocking them and moving on with their life. I've seen way to many pages and pages of a conversation that could have been cut short, but the woman probably let it drag on so she could post online about how some guy wanted her, then bullied her, and then she put him in his place. Once again attention is like sex to them.

Conclusion

Once again, this is for those of you who are new to being around women. Be wary of what you say, how you say it, etc. because it will be shared with everyone else. Women have no compassion. Do your best to avoid being caught off guard.

TL;DR

Two women at my job got hit on (or thought they did) and decided to share it with several workers there. It's pretty messed up, but that's what they do. Be safe around women and don't hit on someone if you're not prepared for her to run and tell the world. Avoid this behavior at work, school, church, social events, etc.

Peace


[–]zdenipeni 363 points364 points  (44 children)

Tldr: don't shit where you eat

[–]Meta-h 94 points95 points  (0 children)

Can’t agree more. If you’re flirting with and fucking women at work, you better have a good exit strategy. No matter how hot they are, women at work might as well be viewed like they’re dudes. You always see execs that think they can’t be touched getting cleaned out for this one. Just not worth it.

[–]KingSlapFight 44 points45 points  (7 children)

I think it's more "even if you're not shitting where you eat, you can still get fucked if you're not careful"

[–]Ch1pp 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Yeah, I was getting fed up of being stuck in the office so went for walks at lunchtime. A co-worker noticed and asked to tag along which I couldn't think of a great excuse to say no to. Fast forward two months and the coworker's getting divorced because she doesn't 'feel it' with her husband anymore and keeps hinting that we should hook up. I don't think I hit on her at all but I underestimated myself apparently. Not good.

[–]CMajorThe3rd 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Lol chad over here wrecking relationships by existing, I laugh but I have seen this before too, it's a sad cringe when the dude she hooks up with is just a beta in wait.

[–]Xexitar 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Or worse: he's not interested. Then it's the 5 stages of grief.

[–]CMajorThe3rd 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah, either way encounters with women in the office need to be professional, that's not a red pill thing it's a smart business thing :)

[–]altra_hex 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Yep had same thought. He wasn’t even trying to “shit where he eats” or whatever, just shows the pathetic lengths women will go to feel wanted.

[–]Prison4SideofBeef 17 points18 points  (5 children)

It doesn't matter. If you don't give them any attention they will still spread rumors and character assassinate you behind your back. At the end of the day as long as they aren't going after your job it doesn't matter.

[–]spndxwra 8 points9 points  (4 children)

yep... "whats wrong with you, you gay?"

"whats wrong with talking, there is no harm in talking... "

i could go on and on and on...

also, got good story to share: was scoping a 5-6 for some FWB activities and decided to hang out one weekend.. on the downlow ( work friends etc)... well, decide for the better on my own, but I get home and find out FB had updates from her about us ALL DAY.. posting to all the work colleagues and friends following me at the time.. that plate got washed quick smart

like the OP said - shits true - cant keep it to themselves..

[–]Prison4SideofBeef 6 points7 points  (3 children)

yep... "whats wrong with you, you gay?"

in many modern offices they don't even do that, but they will file HR complaints against you for being "creepy" if you don't flirt with them or give them enough attention that they think they deserve.

[–]askmrcia 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yea the are you gay thing is no longer used The "creepy" term in the word replace gay.

[–]spndxwra 2 points3 points  (1 child)

not always.. HR means paperwork and thats serious... some times its slyly just character assassination by words to the coworkers... or off cuff comments loud enough to be overheard..

[–]SKRedPill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even more important "Don't give room for rumors". These are 'reputation shit tests' and they happen at work. No one's ever explicitly given them a name for it, but it's not something to take lightly. There has to be a discussion on just how people face those.

[–]CMajorThe3rd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Saved me 20 mins of reading, for the love of God, never, ever fuck with the money.

[–]destraht 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't be a mammal, or even a reptile for that matter where you eat.

[–]yomo86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would not be so quick. He did not eat, he did not even sniff the post-wall steak. He just was there. It is good advice to guard your reputation by being aloof. "Janice would love to think that". Play to women's main weakness namely other women.

[–]sedditandtrp 4 points5 points  (14 children)

How does this relate in high school? Thanks.

[–]thebigkick 11 points12 points  (13 children)

Have as much sex as possible.

[–]sedditandtrp 1 point2 points  (8 children)

In regards to the response below, fucking and living with your parents is hard. Where can you go to fuck? Also, us there an article or post somewhere on how to safely do so? Thanks.

[–]thebigkick 2 points3 points  (7 children)

Go to the parties, fuck in the woods on your Dad’s hammock or something, bang in the locker room, in your car, under the bleachers, shit it’s like a rite of passage. Get creative!

[–]sedditandtrp 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Huh, seems hard to initiate at school. Thats what I'm on here for though.

[–]thebigkick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have an Uncle we affectionately call, Uncle Beer Belly.

I’ll give you some advice Uncle Beer Belly gave me when I was your age, “Don’t be a pussy...you’ll never see what nature is all about unless you stick your face in it”.

[–]sleepyinbk 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Ford doesn't even make cars other than the Mustang for the US. It's all crossovers/SUVs that sell big these days. SUVs for kids all over the place. Whatever happened to fooling around in cars? Fold and go those seats up out the way and get your fuck on

[–]Pestilence1911 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Some of us are too big to have sex in a car.

Never again....

[–]sleepyinbk 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My point is that they're all SUVs now. Now that I think about it I've only ever had sex in minivans and SUVs. I guess I never really was in it to win it enough to go for car sex. A car works for a BJ or HJ but sex is a little ridiculous even when I'm skinny. 6'3" isn't ridiculously tall but it's tall enough. At 190 maybe it would have worked. Rocking my extra-size 230lb blubber these days... do not see it happening any time soon. Probably would have just as little luck making it work even if I converted the 230 to pure muscle instead of flaberation.

Kinda wanna drop 40 pounds and see if I can bang in an Escort now. Bragging rights. U ever fucked in an Escort, bruh? Pimpplayerplatinum

[–]TheStoicCrane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Drop sugar, processed shit, and eat real basic foods that you don't require a dictionary to define other than things like "sodium chloride", and drink water while avoiding sugar water bullshit.

Combine that with 3-5 days per week of cardio for 45mins per session you can kiss that 40 goodbye without lifting a barbell within a few months.

[–]TheStoicCrane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Way more space to tag chicks in the back of an SUV. Fopd back the seats and it's like a cot.

[–]sedditandtrp 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Does it change the dynamic of how they talk/react with you in class? If so, how, and what adjustment(s) need to be made in interaction with them?

[–]XtoDoubt 4 points5 points  (2 children)

If it isn't going to result in an assault allegation or affect your grades why would you care? The reason you don't shit where you eat is because it affects your money. High school should just be a meat market for you.

[–]sleepyinbk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wonder how things would have worked if I had this approach in HS. And then the entire time i spent in NYC was in two straight LDRs. Ugh.

[–]downtherabbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've had good and bad experiences doing it. All the good ones involved no strings sex and neither of us telling anybody it even happened. And trying to find somebody trustworthy like that is the hardest part.

[–]WiseMonkeyGoodMonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Avoid even the appearance of flatulence.

[–]IliketoeatAMA 0 points1 point  (5 children)

This rule is simple and understandable for me at a workplace, however i've seen multiple LTRs form in a workplace environment.

What im not sure about is Uni/College.

Im on my last year and im thinking that this might be the last oppurtunity to get some social circle pussy. I hang out with a bunch of 7-8s a lot but i always tried to distance myself or the same reason "don't shit where you eat" but now im thinking maybe it's worth to give it a try? Afterall, when you don't have much free time for tinders and dates, social circle game is the easiest to run with.

[–]Celicni 3 points4 points  (4 children)

What the fuck are you even on about? You're just spewing "trendy words on trp" like "social circle game"...Uni/College is basically the same as highschool, it's not shitting where you eat, it's an open market for you to fuck everything you can (which judging by your comment, you're not doing).

Put in other terms: You don't "eat" in uni. It's not a source of income for you (directly).

[–]TheStoicCrane 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Get kicked out and it can be a source of crippling debt. It's best to game there but play smartly unless revenge rape accusations are your thing.

[–]Celicni 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Discounting being kicked out for rape accusations, as that can happen ANYWHERE and ANYTIME. But you can't get kicked out because you "dated a girl" unlike with coworkers.

[–]endertheend 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Come on dude, You're in university, you can't use critical thinking skills to figure out that the guy is telling you? What, are you majoring in advanced basket weaving or something?

It seems like the IQ of college students has lowered a lot since I was there. wtf.

Also, move off campus.

[–]tempolaca 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That might apply before, now now. Fuck 3 women in college and they will find each other to talk shit about you and you could very well be expelled.

[–]Dawnguards 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talking to a woman is shitting to you? You must be very troubled.

[–]manwithoutwire 129 points130 points  (14 children)

I recently got hired for a job and the first thing I was told to do was go complete policy 7## and get perfect on the online test, print and sign. Policy 7## was basically a sexual harrassment and abuse policy. First thing I had to do. Strange. I work in a school so this kind of stuff is no laughing matter, I'm naturally a friendly guy to everyone but the prospect of losing my job or getting reported by someone because I held eye contact for a second too long seems like a foreign concept to me.

I actually failed the online test the first time because I answered "is asking a teacher, coworker, student's parent , etc on a date a form of sexual harrassment" in which I said no. But the actual answer was "yes it's sexual harrassment". I'm only 26 but man have the times changed, I've been working since I was 16 and never have I seen this in the fine print. I know you don't shit where you eat now, but when I was younger I was none the wiser and would ask out female co workers I found attractive without hesitation. I definitely know better from now on.

Applying this to your thread title, be careful with your interactions with ALL women, period.

[–]RedSkeller 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Speaking of job tests, I took one for a hospital and one of the questions was “true or false you should treat others like they want to be treated” and I said true. The answer was false, apparently I have to be well versed on every culture in the world and people’s mood before I open my mouth.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Lmao man this one is pretty hilarious

[–]thetompain 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Lo, wtf, So the right answer to "treat people how they don't want to be treated." Given what I know about healthcare this is not a surprise.

[–]TheStoicCrane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The correct answer was "treat people well enough to get paid and kick them to the curb once their insurance gives way."

[–]Celicni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What the fuck does that even mean? I can't understand this. So you should NOT treat them like they want to be treated? I want to be treated nicely, so treat me rudely?

[–]halfback910 50 points51 points  (6 children)

Are you in a different country?

Because in the USA merely asking a coworker out on a date is not considered sexual harassment. Generally speaking what I recall from my HR courses is that if you stop when asked to stop you're usually fine. Barring very obvious no-no's like groping someone's ass.

So like if you flirt with a colleague, not sexual harassment. If they say "Hey, knock it off." and you don't, sexual harassment.

[–]clausternn 48 points49 points  (3 children)

What country he's from doesn't matter.

I suspect whatever HR moron was in charge of /u/manwithoutwire's training was allowed to make up whatever definition they wanted.

You are correct that if you ask any lawyer, one key component of harassment is the harassee asking the harasser to stop, and the latter failing to do so.

Bottom line is, don't shit where you eat.

[–]manwithoutwire 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I'm from Canada, if it matters.

[–]iloveturks 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I’m sure that will come as a surprise to absolutely nobody.

[–]Whitified 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You still don't get it, it's not about whether it's sexual harassment or not. It's the fact that she can accuse you of whatever she likes, and the world will believe her.

[–]endertheend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. That and HR and do whatever the fuck it wants under the guise of CYA.

[–]Luckyluke23 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i ment to birthday drinks last night and there was SO MUCH drama because one of the guys there has been fucking some co-workers and one of the girls there... was pretty bad IMO

[–]sleepyinbk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like the student's parent is kind of the one setting that one off the most for me. There's a bit of a power dynamic at play where the parent could be wondering if you getting turned down for the date will affect how you grade Little Timmy. It makes asking someone out in such a situation a little awkward and I could see how it could be perceived as sexual harassment if not approached very delicately.

[–]immaculacy 88 points89 points  (18 children)

When you hook up with a girl or have sex and then break up, I promise you no matter how good you think the sex was, or she thinks it was, she will tell all her girl friends about stuff you don't want anybody knowing. Even if SHE thinks you're perfect if you have sex then break up she will love to gossip to her friends about awkward things you wouldn't even think of. And this isn't "Ok so if I have a huge dick and she thought I was the best she won't gossip negatively about me." Yeah she will. Every time. Trust me.

[–]Vinegar_Dick 53 points54 points  (6 children)

If you have an average sized dick she'll tell everybody it's a micropenis, you're horrible in bed and you verbally abused her if she can't pull off lying about physical abuse (obvious lack of evidence). Women are vindictive creatures.

[–]immaculacy 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Yeah I know a girl who was (still) obsessed with her ex boyfriend and said his dick was huge, and she started telling everyone in the group how he had a specks of shit in his asshole. Like everyone needs to know that jeez. If you have sex with a chick and break up with her you are not safe from ridicule and embarrassing gossip even if you have the biggest dick she's ever had and she "liked" you "a lot." That's not to mention another guy she had sex with who honestly probably has a medium dick (just my guess it's probably not too small) and she told us it was so tiny it was like a bird sucking a worm. Just stay away from casual sex with girls, it won't be pretty. They will absolutely talk shit on you and talk about how gross and awkward you are when you're naked even if she thinks you're the hottest guy. Girls just like to run their mouths.

[–]thetompain 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Girls just like to run their mouths.

When you have a hammer, everything seems like a nail problem.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I've had this happen at my old job. Well not the huge dick part, but still. I hooked up with married women who couldn't resist telling their work friends.

[–]pnzndltn 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Learning this the hard way was the first time I experienced the true feeling of betrayal. A lesson I have never forgotten.

[–]endertheend 2 points3 points  (0 children)

95% of guys need to learn the hard way, seeing as asktrp has 2-3 shitting where they eat posts daily.

[–]tempolaca 1 point2 points  (3 children)

This is true. I have quite a big dick. Not monstruous, but I need big-sized condoms.

When my gf breakup with me, she couldn't use the "small dick" history. So, she told everybody I was obsessed with fucking her in the ass. Thats not true, I fucked her in all orifices, including ass. But exes only want to push you down. Always.

[–]flibbitythrowaways 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That's... not even really bad as far as it goes. I mean, that was it? Saying you're into anal isn't even close to being a bad thing lmfao. Maybe slightly weird/embarrassing but she could've accused you of abuse/assault or some shit

[–]tempolaca 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Actually she told a friend, literally, that I "used and abused her" sexually.

I still remember she grabbing my dick and inserting it in her own ass while she moaned in pleasure. But hey, I probably was abusing her, you never know.

[–]flibbitythrowaways 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welp, nevermind. That's fucked up.

[–]mineralranch 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Found out a few weeks ago that a girl I dated in high school accused me of rape publicly on social media. I stopped using social media when I left home at 18 (early 20's now), so I didn't find out about the post until almost a year after it was deleted. Now, everyone back home thinks I'm a rapist because of her story. Lost a lot of "friends" over this and can't participate in my hobby back home anymore. I attempted to talk to one person about this calmly and they completely blew up on me and threatened to ruin my life if I ever returned home.

The worst part is, the story is completely ridiculous. She claims the first time we had sex I raped her, yet, she decided to enter a year-long relationship with me. She claims I was emotionally and physically abusive and that she had to leave the relationship to see how damaging it was. Who dates their rapist without realizing they were raped? Get the fuck out of here.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Funny how when it comes to rape and sexual assault feminists have a very broad definition. Like catcalling and groping and ass smacking at a club and being offered sex for money all fall under the category of awful things women face.

But when discussing false rape claims the only thing that counts is men ending up behind bars over it. They don't include damages to reputation, jobs loss, being ostracized, etc.

[–]mineralranch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that there isn't enough of an emphasis on the negative effects of a false accusation. I'm grateful because I haven't really lost anything of true value. I still have my freedom and career. I've only lost my reputation in a very small, insular community. I've lost a lot of shitty friends: people who didn't bother to hear my side of the story because entertaining anything but the accuser's account is conflated with forsaking the victim.

There's still the psychological fallout to deal with, but I intend on speaking to a therapist about that.

[–]NeutronStaRP 56 points57 points  (3 children)

Women have a great capacity for believing that men are attracted to them. I once got to the checkout at my local store, and had a throwaway conversation with the menopausal, frumpy chick who was serving. She whined and bitched something chronic, and I remember asking what time the store closed as a natural follow-on to one of her moans. She told me and I said "at least you'll be free then". I'd finished packing and was pretty much leaving as I said this. She looked at me with a sly kind of grin, that rolled-up chin look that older women get when they're trying to smile, and uttered two words that made little sense to me at the time. "You wish."

It was only out in the car park that the words hit me harder than a land rover. That thing thought I was flirting with her. It boggled my mind. I felt sick and embarrassed for a week afterwards, for both of us. The striking contrast to women thinking everybody is hitting on them is men. Contrary to reputation, I find that most men NEVER believe that a woman is flirting. I guess it's partly due to the subtlety of IOIs, but owes as much to the hostile society in which men live. It doesn't surprise me that there are a lot of women who can't lure betas into relationships. If you're as subtle as a feather, ghosting across the water at midnight, you're not going to make waves. Even if you do, who on earth will see them?

[–]1mugenowns[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Exactly my point. There's so many thirsty men out there that will bang anything with a pulse I can't blame women too much for their delusions. Still annoying tho

[–]destraht 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Men obviously get a lock of flak every time that they awkwardly slip up but in my experience there are a lot of functional autistic and delusional women out there without a social clue. Its just that they are absolutely harmless unless they have a sharpened knife in their hand and are within close striking distance. So they just get to say their crude and awkward shit and then soon enough a man will take the easy lay and then tell two friends about it. Either way its non-story and nobody is hunting for out-of-phase women to blow the lid on them.

[–]p3n1x 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another point of view. You may have been one of the few guys that did not treat her a certain way and the signal was crossed. She is a servant, treat her like one. You didn't.

had a throwaway conversation

This is your side of the story. Imagine how most men behave when a proper 8+ strikes up a friendly conversation. I was around the service industry for a long time, I still visit bars. Most men consider this as an open invitation.

So, it is pretty much a people thing. Ugly in the mind vs the sexy.

[–]NightFire45 54 points55 points  (1 child)

Let me TLDR this for you:

A man wants a woman to need him.

A woman needs a man to want her.

[–]thetompain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would make a second tier

A man wants a woman.

A woman needs a man.

Each can get by without but that does not bode well for society.

[–]Yungclowns 21 points22 points  (6 children)

This is true. Quick story from me.

Entering university I was growing into my more mature and fit self. Some girls thought I was cute I knew, but I thought those girls were few and far between. When I received attention from girls I would relish in it, flirt with them, and if they were receptive it usually led to a kiss or more overt flirtation.

This bit me in the ass because I thought an errant kiss or hookup was not a big deal. However, to most girls it is a huge deal (especially when you're a good-looking guy). They would tell their friends and then after kissing the 6-7 girl I would be off limits to her 8-9 friends. It's a damage to your reputation. It was also made worse by me often not being truly interested in the girl because I was just drunk or just out 'for fun,' so she dislikes me for leading her on (and a couple times I definitely deserved it).

[–]1mugenowns[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is definitely something to look out for. But you can still score. You'd be amazed at how many girls will betray their friends. But still at last now you're aware of how quickly your actions spread.

[–]Squats4urmom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s a social status thing. Just keep banging and hanging out with cuties and girls forget about the 4s you went home with after last call.

[–]FuckMichaelMcCoy 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Ive only benefitted from flirting with all types. The more the merrier in my opinion.

As long as you are successful, then its only gonna magnify attraction regardless of her SMV.

[–]Yungclowns 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Flirting is fine, but going past that can sometimes result in them getting an idea you're interested. That's fine if you are, but if you aren't, you become off limits to their friends and they will resent you if you lead them on.

[–]FuckMichaelMcCoy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Even some guys who do everything right cant get the HB8-9. Those are reserved for the top 5%, barely top 10% of men. Some men have limited ceilings no matter what.

Are you pulling HB8-9s outside of the friend circle? If so, then maybe you are onto something.

Also another thing, you are right about the flirting. To hook up with, is a lot worst. In a girls mind it reflects low self esteem on your end. Also depends on how low SMV are we talking man. A HB4 is fucking horrible if you really are pulling 8-9s, thats a red flag. Someone who pulls 8-9 should easily hit the 6-7s. But a hb4 is a red flag i agree. they will think something is wrong with you

[–]Yungclowns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was good enough to pull a few hb8-9s through school. However, it's possible I'm overestimating the lost opportunities. Regardless, it just happened to me a couple times where I was drunk at a party or the bar and was able to seduce a girl, and then I hear later her prettier friend thought I was cute or noticed her friends that I already knew treat me differently. Definitely most of the people in my social circle would look down upon me hitting a girl if she was a 4 and some friends would even give you some light flak for a 6. I never went for unnatractive girls, just girls I wasn't as interested in if I was drunk or just to see if I can.

I just had to learn:

  1. Girls are just very reputation-conscious

  2. You might be surprised how inter-connected girls are with different friend groups especially in different social circles (ie greek life)

  3. This board often touts 'pump n dump' but unless you are an ultimate chad girls will still become disinterested if you didn't treat a girl well another girl. (not saying you can't have casual sex AND treat a girl well, but leading a girl on and ghosting a girl are not the same).

[–]fitness_first 75 points76 points  (3 children)

This was a good read for me. Thanks for sharing.

This is the reason I don't initiate conversation with women at a work place.

[–]1SirKolbath 60 points61 points  (1 child)

This. Women are an active hindrance and a distraction in the workplace.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And not for the reasons women usually claim either.

[–]Vinegar_Dick 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I work in a small office with 8 mostly >7.5 chicks on the lookism scale and I myself am not bad looking either. It's essentially a Harem because the only other dude that works there only works like 2 days a week. I rarely talk to any of them even though I know they're trying to open me up for good knows whatever nefarious plans they are cooking up down the road. It isn't working bitches.

[–]Chitlinsandgravy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I made the mistake of flirting with a 24yo coworker. After I knocked that shit off, it's just been the occasional attitide/temper tantrum. New girl in the office has been asking me leading questions about the 24yo, in the typical indirect fashion.

Non reaction, all day. When I need something, I stay focused on the task/goal at hand. Replying to nothing that strays from that.

Passing/failing tests isn't a direct concern of mine, in this context. I got shit to do. And that shit is more important than my coworker's words.

[–]jonpe87 8 points9 points  (2 children)

"Coworker: Yeah, Carol said that you're good about not making a mess. Even if you do like to stare at her ass."

No ass will make I do my job wrong. ​

[–]Chitlinsandgravy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Those are two separate things."

[–]Papiless 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That does not matter these days

[–]confusedguy911911 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Woman are crazy and senseless,gotchya!

[–]BonelessSkinless 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah women have zero sense of keeping shit under wraps. A friend passed away and another friend told me exactly how it happened (suicide even though her family was saying heart attack as a cover story). I confided how the original friend passed to a girl that was a mutual friend and she told someone else WHILE I was still talking to her. She couldn't even wait for me to start typing my next reply before she had already told someone, ridiculous

[–]raelians1234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Always remember, ..the way people talk to you about other people..is excatally the way they talk about you to other people.

[–]Uly-sses 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Be careful on interactions with all women. You are at the whim of a woman the moment she decides to accuse you falsely. Anyone who underestimates the fallout of the lie of sexual abuse and what it does to a man is the same as playing with a loaded gun.

[–]GustavoMMarques 16 points17 points  (7 children)

Shit, man!

This post straight up scared me. I've been hitting on a lot of women in college latelly trying to work my game.

Any tips? I don't want chicks talking bad stuff about me on my back.

[–]halfback910 42 points43 points  (0 children)

The sad fact is you can't stop people from talking about you behind your back, regardless of whether or not it's true. All you can control is your own conduct. This applies to all areas of life.

If you conduct yourself in the best way possible and develop a reputation for that, gossip to the contrary will be dismissed out of hand by people who know you. That's the best any of us can do.

[–]jonpe87 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Don't game then directly. Use indirect game, also if you are perceveid as high value you will get hit. You see game is the art of showing value, gather IoIs, and then capitalize. When a girl is interested in you she will be sure to make you know that, and the entire world, wich will rise your value like a halo effect. Woman are way more wild in the game than man when they are interested. They make it obvious like you are the last slice of pizza that everyone wants.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

For college you're probably okay. Just be careful in your classes. Just be careful in small groups or small classes.

[–]Atheist_Utopia 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Be extra fucking careful during classes. I accidentally hit on girls who were from the same class in our mixed-class classroom at the start of this year, and now regret it ever since.

[–]dDiegoDLV 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you want them to talk shit about you like he's an asshole, a player, etc 😉

[–]chronic4you 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am also fairly new here. In your case I think you have the Outcome Indifference attitude and also treat any woman as if she has been talking to you in the friendliest way and not lash out.

[–]Squats4urmom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re fine, there’s no need to be paranoid, and if you are it will show. Just be a cool dude.

[–]TheReformist94 8 points9 points  (1 child)

If you arent good looking, it doesnt matter how you interact with women are attractive/unattractive. You were invisible anyway to begin with and didnt even register on their radar, so nothing will happen. Just dont try to make yourself visible or you'll be greeted with contempt and disgust for even daring to make yourself visible.

[–]BrownGummyBear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’re not “good looking” then work on your body and lift. Can’t change your face? Then lift some iron and get swole

[–]cyber_rigger 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Women are always wanting to know their status.

[–]spassa 17 points18 points  (13 children)

to be honest, all i see in this is: girls talk shit, don't care what they say.

you are way to invested in them:

> Now after being confused and frustrated about this situation I realized some important things and I thought I'd share them here for you lads who may not know.

confused and frustrated? because a 50 year old hag said you checked her out? do you have such a low smv or confidence, that your coworker really believes that you checked a 50 year old hag out?

and as you said, you didn't, but she told it anyway. you see, even if you don't hit on anybody, if it sounds good for their hamster, it will spin it right. just ignore their shit and always remember: agree and amplify

> Coworker: Yeah, Carol said that you're good about not making a mess. Even if you do like to stare at her ass.

> You: her ass surely is the only reason i get out of bed in the morning. my girlfriend is already pretty annoyed about the pictures of her ass in our bedroom

OR

> You: it's like a trainwreck. you just can't look away

[–]1mugenowns[S] 30 points31 points  (12 children)

Agree and amplify? It's my job not a bar. I'd rather not get an HR call or be labeled as a creep. So yes, I was frustrated that my reputation took a small hit. But you do you; openly to oggling girls you work with.

[–]mauricelageorge 3 points4 points  (10 children)

Mugenowns, how did you respond at that time. I want to learn from you. I never initiated an off topic conversation with a female coworker double my age other than greeting my company's front desk. Typically, if they initiate a off topic conversation, I always shift to casual ones like compliment her children or weather or good food in town...If I am in your shoes for that Carol situation, I may have a casual denial like "Oh, I guess I was staring at my (male) boss? "...

[–]1mugenowns[S] 2 points3 points  (9 children)

Edit: sorry I misread your comment. At the time I didn't react well. I was kind caught off guard because like I said Carol isn't my type at all. Even if she was my age I wouldn't dig it. So I reacted about like if I reacted to a gay man claiming I was checking home out; I was so shocked that I didn't know what to say. I think I said something like "I've never looked at her that way" or something. Not the best response, but live and learn

Well the first thing I recommend is protect your rep. I had a boss who always checkout women. Coworkers and clients. He'd talk to the guys about it. He's also one of the people I mentioned being in a management position where screwing one of his employees would cost him his job. Low and behold women started accusing him of a creep and because he all knew he was a pussy hound at work he very nearly lost his job. Ended up suspended without pay, and transferred. He kept his job by the skin of his teeth but I wouldn't count on him getting another promotion anytime soon since HR now knows his name and face. So be proactive is the first thing. Everytime our HR person comes to my location for something she introduced herself to me. Shes very friendly and says hello to everyone. She deals with a couple thousand employees so she always forgets that we've met before. And that's just how I want to keep it.

If I was in a Carol situation again...I'd deny but not show me anger. Something like "she's mistaken. I don't mix work and personal stuff. But thank you for the heads up, I'll have to be more careful so that I don't send mixed signals to anyone." Or something like that. It sounds stiff and robotic but I've come to find that the managers I've known who are like that don't get accused of being a creep as often.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Denial and ambivalence is the correct answer. Women will gossip to see how you react to it. Get defensive and they'll see it as confirmation. Of your reputation is good enough you can flip it. "Wait, you think I would do that? Why do you think that of me?"

It wasn't the gossip on Carol she was delivering. It was your reaction she was looking for.

[–]DocZTheRockstar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lol, take most if not all of em out of the work force. There would be none of this extra bullcrap I tell ya.

We'd probably go into a catastrophic economic shift though.

[–]SKRedPill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its a shit test, but a serious one, as your reputation is at stake. Maybe we should call this the 'reputation test'.

I look at females in my own family - there's literally no boundaries on what isn't shared. They study people's actions and reactions all the time. However all this info becomes fuel for many passive aggressive games as well. I got discreet at observing and listening without opening my mouth, and it is very interesting.

Women bring their own social party to work. And when they aren't doing that, you have the hypermasculine ones whose femininity goes overboard when it finally leaves the office and gets a chance to breathe.

[–]somercet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Yeah, I met a guy in a human trafficking ring while in prison; he asked me if I knew any MILF types I wouldn't miss much. They pay a hefty finders' fee, but I had to tell them 'no.'"

[–]redpilluk 0 points1 point  (3 children)

It sounds like you don't understand agree and amplify.

When you agree and amplify and say you have pictures of carol in your bedroom and it annoys your girlfriend, it just made the whole thing so absurd and over the top, that it can't be true.

Now you have made fun of how stupid it is for you to be looking at Carol's ass, and people are less likely to believe you are obsessed with her because you can make such a joke.

It's also hilarious and people will think your witty and therefore intelligent.

People won't think you're now a creep, checking every woman out. It has the opposite effect.

A shocked denial just makes you look weak and guilty, and also low in social intelligence as you have no comeback.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I'm not going to admit to anything. Because your method is predicated on the person who told me what Carol said not taking what I said out of context. What if she ran to Carol and said "you were right he said he's got pictures of you" ?

[–]redpilluk 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Damn, are you a robot? It's obvious you're kind of autistic or lacking in social skills. They would only do that if they didn't realise you were joking and actually making fun of the situation.

Do you know how to make jokes? A joke is when you're not serious, when you make a joke it should be obvious from the funny words and body language that you are joking. The other person will then realise this. If she doesn't realise you're joking, you will be able to see a look of confusion on her face. This is where you can say 'It was a joke'.

Figure this out and then practise it in your interactions with humans.

By the way, she's not 100% sure you're checking that ass out, she's testing you to see if you're guilty, as you were unable to laugh it off, your response made you look guilty.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in a car accident 3 years ago. Since then I've driven almost every single day, yet no accidents. I still where a seat belt Everytime I drive. Does this make me paranoid? Am I a shitty driver because I take precautions?

Like I said, youre free to do whatever you want. I'm certainly not going to lose any sleep over how other men choose their at work interactions. However, I'd advise against it. I don't think every woman is going to run to HR over a joke I make. But I work in a company that has a roughly equal male to female ratio of employees which means I'm around a lot of women. And it's got over 25,000 employees which means we are all very easy to replace. I'd rather not risk it.

I made this post because I wish someone had had this conversation with me 10 years ago. I think there's a lesson in caution there. So yes, I'm going to defend my position. If others want to take your advice that's fine; that's their risk to take. I honestly hope that you never end up on the wrong end of a conversation with HR or your boss over something you said. And odds are you won't, but I'm still going to wear my seatbelt when I'm in a car.

And you are correct in that walking on eggshells at work is a shitty way to live. Which is why I'd advise all men to secure streams of income from multiple sources so that they're prepared if something does happen.

[–]spassa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can't only use AA to flirt. It's a tool to object to something without getting in the defensive. Like, i dont know, a 50 year old accusing me off hitting on her. Did you really just assume i recommended you to hit on the 50 year old?

I feel like you are the best at hitting your own reputation, if you react like this at work

[–]HoldenCoughfield 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Myspace and Match.com combo... Do you mean ”Tagged”?

[–]1mugenowns[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope never heard of tagged

[–]askmrcia 0 points1 point  (3 children)

He means Moco or Mocospace.

Its really old. I remember trying it back in 2012 or something. Lots of hoodrats was on it. But the main draw of that app was that you had your own page and you can play games with other people on there

[–]1mugenowns[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Nope. I was thinking myyearbook now called meetme last I heard

[–]askmrcia 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I actually do remember this one. Haha. Man that was a long time ago when I was on meetme

[–]1mugenowns[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What's funny is I was on there for like Two years without realizing it was a dating site

[–]MiracleMagnet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE HIDDEN GEM POSTS! THANKS FOR REMINDER COMRADE

[–]Ananonguy88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Even more. Women can not hit on you without telling the world.

If you do not dismiss them openly and play along, the same is going to hapen. Friend's ex girlfriend started messeging me offering to go on a trip with me and make me breakfast in the morning. I dismissed it as a joke and laughed it off along something like "next time babe" cause I knew this is quite fishy. Then she met me worried, asked if I told her ex about that, I shrugged it off and said that I thought she told it because women, so she told him herself later hoping to acquire his trust points for her "comeback". There is no drama out of it, but had I been a retard and agreed openly to take her, I would have lost some respect from my bro, because no matter If I'd plow her on that trip or not, she would have used it against him.

[–]ZeppKfw 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I guess I'm fucked then. Hit on a girl once and it went horribly, she's friends with a couple of my friends. Oh well, really helpful though.

[–]2chazthundergut 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Meh. Who cares what the gaggle of hens is talking about?

We are too busy conquering the stars and building empires to worry abou the knitting circle.

[–]endertheend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this. My Empire is a sea of stars.

[–]ambiguouslawnmower 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's crazy man. All women do is talk and gossip about other people. I don't dislike them for it but I find their behaviours kind of pathetic sometimes.

[–]Classy_Amir 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As law 5 says "Guard your reputation with your life". From 48 laws of power. Nice post!

[–]GanksGriefersForFun 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Even non-red pill people will agree that's just messed up & it is common. I simply asked a female co-worker if she had a boyfriend, for a friend, & I found out instantly that she's texting a friend exactly what I asked her.
0 privacy. 0 respect. Not cool.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I've been there. Sometimes even innocent small talk gets the taken the wrong way. And of course they won't wait to find out if you're actually flirting or not

[–]endertheend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now you know. Also Your friend is a huge idiot. You should have told him to knock that shit off. Don't get fucked because of a friend. That's not a friend at all.

[–]LayingWaste 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I Try to avoid women at work unless they're significantly older, but i guess thats not safe now.

[–]hard2kill1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s important to realize whenever flirting that while the women do want the sex (occasionally), they want attention, ego boost, social fulfillment and a whole list of priorities that your sex falls very low on. It’s still on that list but it’s not even in the same ballpark as their ego. Personally I find that the best method of flirting is to accept failure and move on as much as it takes, with that being said don’t waste a SECOND of your own time looking for tail in the wrong place because all you’re doing is boosting her ego and it won’t lead anywhere. One more thing, being a nice guy is another time waster because no matter how hard you try you will never make it across that line (the friend zone). Don’t be afraid to value your own time and come off like an asshole once in a while, it will drive her nuts and she’ll be on her knees for you.

[–]askmrcia 1 point2 points  (4 children)

You're entire point on the nice guy subreddit is what I like most about your post.

I actually hate that subreddit because it's just a bullying sub. All they do is screenshot messages of men asking women out and just talking shit about that person.

No analysis on why his messages came across cringy, no analysis on why he acts the way he acts (and we usually never see the entire text thread or how the women present themselves in their profiles) and no tips on how they can improve.

Instead it's just let's laugh at this guy for how he texts me.

That sub is disgusting for the most part.

[–]doubleedoublef 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Maybe I'm mistaken, but I thought the whole 'Nice Guy' thing was guys that portray themselves as nice and gentlemanly but when their advances get turned down they lash out and start being hostile to the girl.

I do agree with you to some degree, on explaining why they are cringy, but I think most of the time it's obvious.

[–]askmrcia 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What you said may have been the purpose of the sub. But now it's just screenshot after screenshot of guys doing cringy shit or guys sending a message to a girl and they just laugh at him.

It's like ok we get it, some dudes don't know how to talk to girls, ask them out or can't take rejection too well.

But it's like, why laugh and try to humiliate the guy? You come across as a bully and an asshole.

I do agree with you to some degree, on explaining why they are cringy,

I think you missed my point or I just didn't explain well enough. I visited that sub and saw a post of a guy who wasn't attractive asking a girl out on tinder and the woman ignored his message for several days and he called her out on it asking why she took too long to respond. She insulted him calling him clingy then he in turned lashed out.

That was the post, and the entire thread was let's laugh at this guy on his appearance and shit. It comes across as a bunch of douches laughing at guys who are struggling at dating.

And you also have plenty of post of women baiting guys to act out. When the guys respond to the bait, it's let's laugh at another "nice guy".

Point I'm Making is that sub is just let's laugh, roast and bully men online. There's no actual discussion on what's actually going on.

[–]doubleedoublef 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for clearing that up, I don’t browse it, just seen a few notable posts from in the past.

If that’s the case then I think anyone with a bit of common decency would be against it, but maybe not.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad someone gets me. I recently unsubbed to a bunch of those. Some of the top posts are noteworthy of someone really being shitty but most of the time it's nothing special.

"Why won't you date me, I'm a nice guy?" :(

Omg! Look at him wow what a loser.

It's sad

[–]Cincinnati19 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Report Carol to HR. She is creating a hostile work environment for you by talking shit about you in a sexual manner.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I no longer work with her. And it would be her and her friends word against mine. I appreciate the sentiment but that's a losing battle for me

[–]endertheend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. The best move is to get out if you can, and if you can't. . .make it so that you can.

HR does NOT have your back, they have the company's back, which has the woman's back, as they have NO choice.

If you're a star employee, and your managers are not retarded (about 20% of manager are not idiots 80-20), they they'll move you. However you'll need to have a great relationship with your boss/manager, and NEVER go to HR. If you do, it will go down in your "file" and there goes promotion prospects, you might as well prepare to send your resume to the competition.

[–]Nocryingok 1 point2 points  (1 child)

who cares

all publicity is good publicity, let them talk

[–]DocZTheRockstar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The enter machinations of the female mind are an enigma.

Patrick Star, genius.

[–]loosethoughtco 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I disagree with the second point you make, by default its actually the other way around; men overinterpret signs & women underinterpret.. google Error Management Theory

[–]soupandpoitin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah women just lie on these surveys about their actual interest in men. A woman will never admit interest in a man unless he's some A list celebrity.

[–]InDidilyDeed 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I disagree with your point completely. Men are more wary and try not to overinterpret because they know women will think they are overinterpreting and it's more likely a woman is just being friendly. We've both probably had quite different experiences.

[–]loosethoughtco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

imo even beta chumps too scared to make a move overinterpret, they basically just lack the guts to capitalize and end up with a "what if?"..perhaps actually trying not to overinterpret as a man is just a next level coping mechanism

[–]Typos_Alot 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I already fucked up. See I was young and visiting my parents small home town. I sent a text tk every single person single. 19 yrs old so I didnt care. They all know each other lol. Every time one girl asked about me the other would show what I wrote to her. Lol.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Been there. You live and learn

[–]Hjalmbere 2 points3 points  (2 children)

My take: Both Janice and Carol are past their prime and hence feel a need to tell their co-workers and friends how they’re still total hotties that get hit on. That’s a pretty common female behavior IMHO.

The real takeaway here is company policy and how Carol imagining OP is looking at her ass can ruin his career. I honestly don’t know how you can protect yourself against that. Maybe find a position on an all male department where there’s less interaction with females.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Spot on. If I could go back in time I'd pick a male dominated blue collar field.

[–]raelians1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a quagmire alright. I actually left a company over women and their sexists banter, even after pointing out the double standards. Was laughed at and told men love it?? Imagine a group of 40 something men verbally telling a younger guy to take his top off cause he's in good shape.

[–]HistoricalProgress 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Far too long for no value. Cut it down.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I tried to organize it so people could skip the fluff if they wanted

[–]chronic4you 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's okay length. I enjoyed reading it.

[–]emdmarco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I needed this. So true, it’s bit me in the ass many times before yet I continue to make the same mistakes bc flirting comes natural to me.... but i.t doesn’t do my reputation any justice.

[–]vincent636 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A similar thing happened to me years ago. Made friendly conversation with a shy ugly fat co-worker. Next thing I know she's going around telling people I'm "creepy". It didn't hurt my reputation fortunately because I was pretty well liked and she wasn't. I don't believe she actually thought I was creepy either, because she tried making conversation with me afterwards. I just never acknowledged her from that point on.

[–]DeNovaCain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TL;DR: Never dip your pen in corporate ink!

[–]dumbkidaccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ye. they always tell those around them

[–]sleepyinbk 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Maybe Carol just has a big ass and you've been transfixed without noticing. The undulating 50 year old lady cheeks mesmerize you. You're not attracted but you can't look away. This never registered with you consciously. BUT MELANIE IS WATCHING THE WATCHER!!

[–]1mugenowns[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Fuck you're right. I've been drooling at her in a stupor that left me unable to recall short periods of my life. All I want is to make those old lady cheeks clap enough to make my "clapper light" into a strobe

[–]soupandpoitin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I often stare into space when thinking deeply about something. If a woman is in my field of view she might think I'm staring at her.

[–]edefakiel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have humiliated plenty of women because of this reason. They start telling crazy stuff about how I was hitting on them, when I have a very obsessive taste in women: dark hair, light eyes, short, very thin, very young and smarter than me, despite they being fat, old, retarded, etc. So I carefully explain to them, with as many witnesses as possible, how awful, unattractive, old and mentally challenged they are to meet my standards.

I have made more than one cry and apologize publicly to me.

One time I just showed her pictures of other women I have been with and she started to cry and ended up confessing that I was the first dude to reject her, yeah, right, and that is why she made up the whole thing.

[–]TunedtoPerfection 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You CAN NOT control what other people think, say, decided to read into, believe, wish happened, or other wise. The answer is not to censor yourself into oblivion like a little beta fag boy. Plausible deniability is all you need and all you need to introduce to solve this problem. Don't get defensive about it, don't straight up deny it like your guilty of it, definitely don't agree with it, just straight up introduce a plausible situation where action "A" could be viewed as result "B" or "C", then move the conversation on to a different topic. That is your move for this kinda of bullshit.

Example:

Group of mixed friends were out at a bar and we decide to go to a different bar down the street, having just gotten there I decided to drive. At the time I was driving a 2 seat convertible, instantly one of the girls yells she is driving with me. This woman, Tara, was married with 2 kids, probably a 6 and while we got along fine I had no interest in her what so ever, never led her on, I have flirted and teased her but I flirt and tease everyone.

Anyway we are driving over and this particular car has a 6th gear that is pretty far out there, leg rubbing territory for the passenger seat. You see where this is going, anyway Tara wants to go fast with the top down I obliged, we had our fun and show up at the new bar.

Almost immediately the girls are teasing her cause she has this stupid smile plastered on her face. The "mom" of the group, Kara, say something to the tune of "Don't get to excited TunedtoPerfection is a flirt with every girl." Almost instantly Tara shoots back about how I was trying to "rub her leg the whole ride over." Without missing I beat my response is, with a sly grin on my face, "Or I just needed 6th gear to hit 100 when we were getting here, Your round I'll have the draft IPA."

That it, Tara can believe what she wants for the ego boost. The rest of the group can believe what they want as well but they have nothing to go off based on my reaction and response to confirm or deny anything. I don't look guilty as I'm not defending myself or get defensive, and quickly changing the subject and moving the conversation along keeps people from dwelling or thinking about to the point that it becomes an issue. If Tara or anyone would have pushed the issue, it would have looked needy/attention seeking on their end as the conversation as moved along.

Issues like their are rarely an issue when you learn to command and control the flow of conversation in the group. There are times you sit back and let it evolve naturally and times you need to move it along, this is a time you need to move it along, that's all.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your point, but in the context of my job it's a little different

[–]LeChatTerrible 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gay guy here. I was chatting with a guy for a few months. Decent friends, I thought. One day he accidentally sends me a screenshot of our conversation - nothing scandalous, which makes it worse: he's been reporting even the innocuous stuff to a female coworker.

I'd never even considered it a possibility, and it's nothing I'd ever do. Oops.

[–]redpilluk 0 points1 point  (2 children)

All of these conversations sound pretty lame. It seems quite blue pill of you to entertain these old women by listening to them chat away about their fantasies, while not having any good comebacks to what they say. You could have agreed and amplified when she said you were checking out carol to the point of absurdity, you could have said yeah you like cougars (subtly negging her) or you could have just laughed and walked off. It's pretty lame and beta to be affected by an accusation like that.

If you must work with women, it's better not to chat with them much at all, you're there to work not to chat. Focus on your job, and go home or out of the office when you have free time.

[–]1mugenowns[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah unfortunately I'd rather not get called by HR and asked "so you admitted to being attracted to her and then called her a cougar" but you do you fam.

[–]redpilluk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you're too scared to even make a joke in case people take it seriously and you have to explain yourself to HR.

That sounds like a shitty way to live but 'you do you fam'.

If life is really that bad, you could follow the rest of my advice, ignoring them but staying friendly, laughing and walking away.

Instead you're just posting defensive replies to everyone who criticises you or gives you advice.

[–]StimulisRK -3 points-2 points  (8 children)

Every once in a while this sub pops up on my popular page and I'm reminded that this strange & sad sect of incredibly self-conscious men exists. How do you have the mental capacity to care this much about what women think about you?

[–]askmrcia 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your job is on the Line so that's a pretty big reason to care what people think of you

[–]1mugenowns[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When it's my reputation at work? Gee let me think about that

[–][deleted]  (4 children)

[deleted]

    [–]1mugenowns[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    My post had literally nothing to do with ego.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]1mugenowns[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Nah. You're in the wrong. I can't imagine why women would feel the need to share every interaction with a man complete with exaggerations if not for the sake of validation

      [–]omega_dawg93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      i just made a comment in another forum about ATTENTION... for a young woman vs an old(er) woman.

      the comment got down-voted severely as i explained that as women age, that NEEEEED for attention gets worse. older women don't get the gazes from men while they notice all the young(er) women getting more and more attention.

      last, yes, they are ALWAYS the victim... always. some women can rob a bank and kick a puppy while trying to escape. when caught, she'll cry and blame the first man she sees.

      [–]Cdsmasher 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Stopped reading after "Carol - aged 50. Decently attractive but not my type".

      Ok.

      [–]1mugenowns[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She's not deformed or super fat...?

      [–]KingchongVII -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

      I’m gonna call bullshit on this, most women I know get more unsolicited dick pics in a week than the average guy has dates in a year. Not to mention the countless cat-calls, eye-fuckings and even the odd unsolicited stealth-grope during hugs etc.

      The problem women have isn’t not getting hit on, it’s getting hit on by guys who don’t have a fucking clue. And having been involved in some conversations about it I can honestly say they’re primarily filled with resignation and light mockery, not with elation at finally being able to broadcast their suitability as a mate.

      [–]1mugenowns[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      What are you even talking about?

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