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Blue Pill ExampleGirlfriend is raped; Bf offers space...and gets cheated on (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TheDialecticParadox

Tl;dr: BB boyfriend gives girlfriend 'space' for over a year and gets cheated on, needs confirmation to dump her ass.

Article is here

OP(29) has been dating g/f(27) for 3 years

OP tells us girlfriend is raped at knife-point 13 months ago, rapist is found the next day, pleads guilty and gets a 20 year sentence. Fair enough.

Right after the incident she did not want to see me. I get that, it hurt but I understood. Her parents picked her up from the hospital and I did not see or hear from her for a week, which I sort of get but I think I could have gotten a text or something just saying she was ok.

OP has a point. I, and most other people have been in this situation, and usually everyone with relations to the victim/patient is updated frequently. Someone has decided to cut OP out of the loop.

Finally a week in her sister calls me and lets me know that she is staying with her parents and she will be calling me in a couple of days.

She never called me. Instead I once again get a text from her sister saying she would like me to come over for a few minutes so we can talk. I get up and go over and am greeted at the door by her mother who very calmly and very coldly starts laying out to me how I am to act and what I am to say. I am further instructed to not attempt to make any physical contact with her as in hug or anything.

Seems a bit extreme. Sounds like he's entering a quarantine zone. Probably has something to do with the therapist. Either way, it's not good for OP.

OP is told g/f is okay by the sister, but g/f doesn't say anything or even look at OP.

OP meets g/f for lunch a month later:

Basically she wanted to get together that day to tell me that she couldn't go out with me for awhile until she got past some issues she was dealing with. Of course I told her I understood.

"I've come out to tell you that I can't come out with you anymore."

I told her I would be there for her and that whatever she needed whether that be space or a shoulder to cry on or anything I was there for her. I started to tell her that I loved her and she stopped me. She told me that right now she didn't want to hear that and that I had to respect her wishes.

Let me re-quote: "Look around boy, you're in orbit - and don't you dare try and escape."

It's at this point OP should have recognized this is her way of saying she's moving on.

I was once again a little hurt and frankly surprised but I said what ever she wanted.

Always trust your gut feeling. If you're getting 'hurt' and she's indifferent - you're supplicating the relationship. A sign you should get out of there, or re-build frame.

OP texts her for a month and a half before mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date. G/f postpones it a whole month.

This is now 4 months after the incident.

At dinner:

I ask her how she has been and she snapped at me and told me to not ask her personal questions.

The victim complex has spread it's roots and flowered into contempt for her now-friendzoned 'boyfriend'.

We ate and after dinner I wanted to just sit and talk because I missed the person I had talked to almost every day for the previous 3 years. But when she was done eating she said that she was ready to go home. I asked her if she could stay for just a few minutes to talk but I could see that she was becoming physically anxious and I did not want to upset her so I said that I loved her and missed her. She just walked away.

At this point most girls would have dumped your love-sick ass, but she's not done with you yet and has decided to string you along. Probably for the free meals.

She goes back to texting me the next day like nothing had been wrong. We actually start to see each other once a week for lunch

Well will you look at that.

and she is getting more and more comfortable with being out so she sits and talks awhile. She has also started a new job which she tells me about.

This goes on for another 4 months. I'm happy to see her and all but honestly I'm very lonely and we have not even so much as held hands.

That's because your her supportive best-friend now. No touching or affection, but you get all the benefits of taking her out on dates and being in her presence! Yay!

At this point, OP is blown off on a lunch date and family is not telling him anything when he tries to contact g/f. Sister re-affirms that she's not allowed to let him talk to his g/f.

2 weeks later and g/f arranges to meet him with the therapist.

I check in at the front desk and am told that the therapist wants to speak to me alone for a few minutes.

She comes in and I now know where the parents were getting this from because after formally greeting me she then started to provide me with a list of do's and don'ts.

Aha. Well, I was right again. It's been a year after she was raped and you're giving him a set of rules to talking to his girlfriend?

I would be questioning the lack of progress.

I go in and she is sitting on one chair and I am instructed to sit in the other. She has a box of tissues and has been crying. The therapist tells me that I am here because my g/f has something to tell me and that she wanted the safety of therapist office to feel safe.

She then proceeds to tell me that the reason she did not meet me for lunch that day is because she was with another guy, somebody from her new job, and that they had been intimate with each other.

She might as well have taken a gun out and shot me, it couldn't have hurt anymore. I just drop my head and begin to cry. The therapist then pipes in with some logic about her taking back her sexuality since she was attacked and how this wasn't cheating in the same sense of cheating.

"Stop your whining faggot. Your girlfriend is allowed to cheat because she is a rape victim."

Positive re-affirmation and co-operative hamstering from a female therapist. Why am I not surprised. In-fact, I would go as far to say the therapist has caused the victim-complex to spiral out of control.

My g/f then proceeds to tell me that she does not want to lose me and that she is just very fucked up in the head

In case of emergency, break glass and use one of the following: "I was drunk" "I was confused" "I was scared"

Women will come up with whatever horseshit they can to negate accountability for their actions.

and that it was a one time thing and blah blah blah.

OP's eardrums have burst from rage. He can't hear your siren song anymore.

I finally just said to her, you haven't so much as held my hand in the past half year yet you can go fuck some guy you met at work while I sit like a jackass waiting for my junior high like date.

G/f starts the waterworks and gets told to leave by the therapist.

I get that text later that day. Now she is all chatty and shit telling me that this was the worst mistake of her life and please talk to her. I tell her that I don't know if I can go on with this but agree to meet her.

Notice how OP has changed his tone and is now letting his g/f meet him. He has swapped the dynamic.

I flat out tell her right up front when I see her that for me to even consider going forward with this that she has to cut this other guy off period. She tells me that is impossible because they work together and I tell her that I'm sorry but I won't even consider it if she is going to see this guy everyday. She decides to find another job

He held frame and she leaves her job. A technical victory but she's probably still fucking Chad anyway.

after talking with my sister she who I have told everything to she said that while it is not common some women do attempt to have sex after being attacked so that they feel like they have power again.

OP's wondering why she couldn't just have sex with him then? Because it would be like her fucking her therapist. Because that's what OP became.

G/f comes over to watch a movie and OP tries to kiss her. Gets rejected and OP loses his temper.

OP says he 'thinks' he is done. If you've read his post, he's obviously done, but he needs affirmation from reddit.

I actually was surprised to find myself agreeing with a lot of the comments.

Top comment:

Your gf you knew? She's gone, dude. She may find her way back. But not for you. And not now. Move on. You've given her time. And unfortunately the therapist doesn't appear to be helpful. (To you and her. Maybe she's good one on one.) So you shouldn't anticipate any big improvements.

The girl he 'knew' was simply the girl that 'loved' him back. Uck. Okay, the girl that returned affection. Nothing more.

My other favorite comment:

It sounds like the therapist is holding her progress back by making everyone walk on eggshells around her. She is reinforcing a "forever a victim/damaged" mentality. The gf will probably never get past this if everyone keeps acting like the rape excuses her behavior.

Damn straight. Playing the victim reaps all the rewards and special treatment and as long as her therapist is controlling her family and boyfriend out of fear of relapse, she will continue to act that way from affirmation.

EDIT: Another comment I thought was interesting from a healthcare worker who deals with rape victims:

I want to take a moment to inform you about Sexual Revictimization. Promiscuity after rape, or stepping outside of a relationship post-rape is a sign of revictimization. Sometimes rape survivors cheat, become sex-workers such as prostitutes, and otherwise demean themselves. There can sometimes be a lot of fear, hate, and self-loathing after a rape and a survivor may tragically direct those feelings inwards through self-destruction. Using sex to end your social support is one example. Engaging in unprotected sex to end a relationship with a patient and supportive spouse is revictimization.

I was unsure how to approach the scenario of a rape victim, so I simply tried to not think about it as I was typing this.

I'm interested to hear other people's thoughts on what they would do if their LTR got raped. Would you give her space? Would you dump her? Would you continue the relationship like nothing happened?


[–]Modern__Day__Pricus 164 points165 points  (20 children)

"She then proceeds to tell me that the reason she did not meet me for lunch that day is because she was with another guy, somebody from her new job, and that they had been intimate with each other. She might as well have taken a gun out and shot me, it couldn't have hurt anymore. I just drop my head and begin to cry. The therapist then pipes in with some logic about her taking back her sexuality since she was attacked and how this wasn't cheating in the same sense of cheating."

Yeah, I'm done.

Nothing else to say after that

[–]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal 78 points79 points  (10 children)

The therapist then pipes in with some logic about her taking back her sexuality since she was attacked and how this wasn't cheating in the same sense of cheating."

Uh, okay. Doesn't mean BF has to bother with her any longer, though.

Always remember: she is not entitled to a relationship; it always and every time depends on her behavior whether you are going to grant her the privilege of being in one with you.

[–][deleted]  (9 children)

[deleted]

    [–]kiragami 31 points32 points  (7 children)

    From what I can tell this is just a super shity situation. The girl is all fucked in the head from being raped and this shit therapist has been manipulating and controlling her the whole time. This person does not deserve the job they have period.

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]kiragami 20 points21 points  (3 children)

      That is exactly what it sounds like. This poor girl gets raped at knife point. And she end up being a victim to this therapist as well.

      [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

      She was a victim of the rapist and therapist.

      [–]CacTye 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Rough, Trebek. It's how your mother likes it.

      [–]GritsConQueso 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My uncle did that, and then he got his ass beat, ended up on permanent disability, addicted to oxy condone, and then the drug stopped his heart one day while he was reinstalling Windows. They found him at his computer. I literally cannot think of a worse way to go out, and yet somehow it's fitting for the type of life he lived.

      I doubt the therapist gets such a fitting end.

      [–]RPthrowaway123 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      That therapist totally undermined whatever standing the guy had left in his relationship with that sentence.

      [–]foldpak111 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      And that is why I can't take people seriously.

      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Like there is no sense of self-worth here. I agree man, I can't even have respect for this faggot.

      [–]ioncloud9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I would have told them both to fuck off, stood up and walked out. No contact after. There is nothing left to say.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]redpillspeeddate 254 points255 points  (98 children)

        This type of scenario is why I don't date women with rape or abuse histories. If they bring it up in the first few dates (with a few questions or relating how girl throw false accusations out so quickly now) will usually have her spill the beans. It's a huge red flag.

        I get chewed on for people for saying it's not their fault, but I usually counter with, how much time do you want to spend 'fixing' a man with malfunctioning or no ambition? Same thing trying to fix a broken girls relationship with sex. There are lots of other girls out there that don't suffer this drama real or not.

        [–]Modredpillschool 160 points161 points  (13 children)

        Agreed, I stay far far away from rape "survivors" because either they were actually raped and are fucked up from it, or worse, they weren't raped but they make shit up.

        You want neither.

        [–]rztzz 37 points38 points  (2 children)

        And if this seems harsh, just remember that plenty of women will avoid guys who have a history of being beaten up, drug probem, debt, was fired from worked or pushed out of a big-money deal, was struck by a disease, etc. --it is absolutely anybody's right to avoid partners with negative vibes around them, whether they were at fault or not.

        [–]Kolbykilla 57 points58 points  (6 children)

        My best friend who has a pretty dark sense of humor always tells me this, "how do you know if a girl has been raped?" She tells you... Always.

        [–]garlicextract 11 points12 points  (4 children)

        I'm not understanding how that relates at all to a dark sense of humor. The statement is basically true at face value, no?

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I thinks it's just how it relates to other statuses people will claim. Like being a vegan to claim the moral high ground someone would use a rape claim to achieve victim status.

        [–][deleted] 57 points58 points  (2 children)

        People just don't put together "man" with "self-interest" when it comes to male-female interaction. The natural assumption is to push the man towards decision making that is contrary to his own personal interest.

        In some way, shape or form, the man is expected to stow his wants and needs in favor of the whim of the female he's romantically or emotionally involved in. Sometimes these female whims can be extremely superficial and petty, while the the emotional sacrifice expected on the part of the man can escalate to a profound level. Often both happen simultaneously - and people accept this as normal.

        This exhibits itself in many ways from the scenario described by OP - the expectation that he excuse his GF's abusive behavior because of some year old trauma she experienced - to more everyday things like the emotionally parasitic friendzone or declining sexual utility that may happen in a marriage.

        Any time the male says "Hey, I'm getting a little beat up here and this isn't all that cool for me" - it's usually met with a chorus of shaming from casual observers if there is any iota of inconvenience expected for the corresponding female. "How dare you not consider the feelings of that female? You need to hold her wants in deeper regard!" Enough of these voices strung together can appear to be a societal consensus to the man experiencing this phenomenon.

        After hearing these messages repetitively in their everyday lives, young men internalize them as just they way things are - by default female emotional happiness is more important than male emotional happiness. They become reactive and subconsciously join in the shaming chorus with others and place this warped expectation on themselves.

        When you constantly put others before yourself in the irrational extreme previously described, its not a matter of if, but a question of when this will lead to your eventual undoing. While most of us can see some mutual benefit in living a life that has an element of "being of service to others" in it, the subconscious message of "women important, men unimportant" is harmful, especially to the man who believes it.

        A large part of unplugging is retraining your mind to recognize this odd phenomena people seem to intrinsically have and see it for what it is - a type of Stockholm syndrome - a delusion that people share. Obviously, for a man to act with rational self interest he has to break free of this mindset and start seeing value in himself. This is a healthy root from which many things germinate. When you regard yourself with value and esteem, you exponentially increase the chances of others doing so as well.

        [–]ScottRikkard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Great comment. Being of service to the one closest to you - You, doesn't mean others wont benefit. Putting yourself first doesn't mean putting everyone else aside.
        BUT, if made to choose, the choice is obvious.
        Luckily, we dont live in a world of absolutes and putting yourself first will mostly mean more happiness for you and for others who are your REAL friends, REAL family (outside of blood). And others, well, better luck next time.

        I've noticed I am much more happier and kinder (!) person when I make my needs my priority. I can give more to others because consciously and subconsciously I know I am giving to myself first.

        We are all born with the ability to make at least ONE person extremely happy and grateful. I fully believe it should be me, for myself. Coupled with ''no pity'' attitude, it makes for a strong Mindset.

        [–]MyReddit4 58 points59 points  (4 children)

        I always follow with: "I hope that scumbag is in jail"

        "What, he isn't? Did you press charges?"

        "Why not?"

        Then look at her like hmmm She won't bring that up again...

        [–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (2 children)

        That is very telling. They also like to leave out the part where she took off her own pants, and blew him because she's a good girl that stops at third and loves her boyfriend.

        [–]1NV0K3R 58 points59 points  (4 children)

        One of my favorite hamsterings is the line: "He made me X"

        He made you? He fucking made you? The only way a person can make you do anything is if they threaten your life. I ran into my ex-gf a while back and we bullshitted and for some reason she brings up some dude we know and "he made her give him a hand job"

        I laughed in her face and said "well now you've just made me walk away" and did just that.

        [–]FarfromaHero40 26 points27 points  (1 child)

        Females don't want agency. It would make them actually act responsibly, not like a victim or child (can't have that). The good thing for us is, we have a hard-wired bullshit detector in-between our ears (i.e. a logically-based brain). It is always your choice to walk and escape cockamamie manipulation.

        [–]ScottRikkard 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Wow hahaha great move. Dem ho's smh...

        [–]the_code_always_wins 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        This is why rape fantasies are so popular. Women want to make bad sexual decisions but don't want to be responsible for the consequences.

        [–]1favours_of_the_moon 26 points27 points  (1 child)

        I get chewed on for people for saying it's not their fault, but I usually counter with, how much time do you want to spend 'fixing' a man with malfunctioning or no ambition? Same thing trying to fix a broken girls relationship with sex. There are lots of other girls out there that don't suffer this drama real or not.

        These girls learn at a young age that all they have to do is make an allegation and the world stops for them. They are the center of attention, everyone gives them sympathy and anyone they point their finger at has the brunt of society directed upon them.

        [–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        As a rule of thumb, treat it like a kind of shit test. Even if it's really something that happened.

        Others: "I was raped." or "So and so was raped."
        Me: Oh, well that sucks. So anyway...
        Others: :some kind of incredulity at my cold indifference:
        Me: Look, it sucks and all, but I just choose not to dwell on the bad stuff that happens in life. It serves no useful purpose. So like I was saying...

        What you're trying to do is get them to enter your frame. That if you two are going to spend time around each other then this subject will give them no benefit or power over you. That's how you pass this kind of shit test.

        Basically you're denying the objection ahead of time so it doesn't cause problems later. I have this conversation with just about everyone early on nowadays so they know now to bring that stuff up and be lame around me.

        [–]life_is_amazing100 14 points15 points  (3 children)

        I agree, my ex said she was raped (I have no way to confirm it) but the thought of it would typically bring her to tears just thinking about it so it was convincing. At first she was the perfect gf (cooking, loads of sex, etc) but once I slipped into betadom she began using it as an excuse for not being sexual then once I learnt about TRP it became her reason for hating my self-improvement and her newfound "you know what I've been through you can't treat me like anything other than a princess" mentality. The problem was that she would use it as an excuse for being a victim but when I suggested solutions she wouldn't tell her parents or go see therapy about it and just wanted to be seen ad a victim (MAJOR RED FLAG).

        Eventually I ended it and plated her for a bit, but it wasn't worth it her solipsist thinking of "why is sex even important to anyone?" became to much for me to handle.

        I've taken your path of never dating women with rape or abuse histories especially those who bring it up on the first few dates - just not worth the time and effort.

        [–]1dongpal 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        except when they went to the therapy and it has been proved by court that they have been raped. my gf never brings this story up anymore after she told me once.

        [–]life_is_amazing100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        If they've chosen to not use it to put themselves in a constant victim role then that's a different story. After my dealing with someone who didn't I've chosen I'd rather not take that chance, for every girl that's been raped there's millions which haven't.

        [–]Modredpillschool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I mean, some people have actually been raped and recover. In fact, I'd bet those playing the perpetual victims are the ones who lied in the first place.

        [–]TheDialecticParadox[S] 54 points55 points  (23 children)

        I actually dated a girl for a short time who said she was raped (Don't know for sure, but it was convincing).

        She had a lot of issues.

        The most curious one being she was terrified of PDA, but when we were behind closed doors, she was an absolute deviant.

        [–]MordorsFinest 51 points52 points  (0 children)

        The last part sounds like my favorite variety of deviant.

        [–]tuxedoburrito 53 points54 points  (21 children)

        Tbh I used to consider myself a victim of rape. Until like a few days ago. A couple of years ago I got drunk at a party and some she beast seduced me and took me home. It was an awful experience.

        BUT

        I chose to drink. I ended up choosing to go home with her. It was my actions. If you can be charged with drunk driving then consenting to sex while drunk even if you wouldn't sober is still your responsibility, I think.

        So yeah. Victim mentality can be real.

        But they can also snap out of it

        [–]RWDMARS 2 points3 points  (7 children)

        Well what actually happened once you got there?

        [–][deleted]  (14 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]1KyfhoMyoba 11 points12 points  (1 child)

          These days, I'd take a Western rape claim with a huge grain of salt.

          Either way, you lose. If she's falsely claiming she was raped, she's a huge attention whore.

          [–]ChrisBenRoy 8 points9 points  (7 children)

          I've never been a victim of a false rape claim, but one girl I was seeing tried to make a semi-rape claim when we "broke up". There was a time she came over and we began messing around, I unbuttoned her pants and began to take them off and she (in a very relaxed and not serious tone) claimed she didn't want to but gave no physical resistance at all. I said something like "yes you do" and began eating her our and then we fucked like animals, she was very into it. 3 weeks later she tried bringing it up like I forced her to have sex when she didn't want to and all that garbage. She was also always the one to call or text me to try and set up sex because she was "so horny".

          The scary part is that situation can get me in deep shit if the right persons push the right buttons.

          [–][deleted]  (6 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]SilentForTooLong 2 points3 points  (5 children)

            TRP recommends radio silence as a way of dealing with women all the time...

            No one likes responsibility either. Look at all the bankers and politicians in the world. Most of them are male, and they love to opt out of their responsibilities all the time.

            So how is it exclusive to women exactly, other than that women are able to do so?

            [–][deleted]  (4 children)

            [deleted]

              [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

              I just look at the major rape cases to hit the media.

              Duke, UVA, Mattress girl, Hofstra, and Tyler Kost.

              Literally 5 out of 5 big name cases that hit the media were all 100% false? Basically any case where there is investigation required is false. I genuinely believe it's somewhere between 25-95% that are bullshit.

              [–][deleted]  (2 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]redpillspeeddate 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                More than a few times I have seen people both take drugs before sex, especially in the 70's-90's when Cosby was at his peak. I have been to parties in the high circles that celebrities travel in, there is so many drugs going around, you could just about claim everything. I have known more that a few girls to get high before having sex to enhance or change the experience.

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                I think the worst part is that even if you did help them what would it matter? You can't expect loyalty regardless.

                [–]RPthrowaway123 102 points103 points  (17 children)

                It's incredible how willing women are to use even a really serious case like this one to further their own hypergamy...she was raped at knife point, that's some serious fucking shit right there. Not an "I was too drunk" situation. For her to then turn it around and take advantage of this guy when he offered the support that any man, dare I say even an RP man, would offer in light of such a violent situation...wow.

                I don't know what I would do if I was ever in this situation...I would probably support her. Rape at knife point is real, none of this blown-out-of-proportion shit that SJWs are trumping up. If she started relying on her victimhood and making life miserable I would leave. That's where this whole situation went off the rails. That commenter was spot on; the therapist is making everyone walk on eggshells and she will continue to act like that as long as she thinks she's entitled too.

                [–][deleted]  (10 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–]RPthrowaway123 16 points17 points  (0 children)

                  This is absolutely correct. He should have known the second she cut him out that something was up, but he basically willfully ignored all the possible warning signs he could have seen. He lost out when he let the therapist convinced his gf to become a professional victim. She wasn't trying to overcome what happened to her - she was trying to milk it for all it was worth.

                  [–]2niczar 15 points16 points  (5 children)

                  What was a huge immediate red flag issue was how the boyfriend was immediately cut out of her life, as if he was in some way to blame for the rape just by being a man

                  The weird part is how the parents/sister pushed him away.

                  I'll say it again, they knew something. And the something is that she was already cheating before the rape.

                  [–]geekygirl23 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                  My then boyfriend had to pry what happened out of me. The word "broken" is the right one. I felt worthless, like it was my fault and that I didn't deserve him so even staying with him was not being fair. He knew something was wrong but instead of ignoring it he confronted me about it, got the truth then went into action. He didn't allow me to push him away over false pretenses and he called me on my bullshit when needed.

                  She handled it wrong, but I really doubt she could process that herself and the only people "helping" here were enabling the shit to fester.

                  [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  If she cut me out like that, I would tell her I'm here if she needs, but we should suspend the relationship until she's in a more stable place. I did it with a (pre-TRP) ex who tried to kill herself. It was the same style of shit. After a month of not getting laid I cut the cord and we did the "just friends thing" while I fucked a girl my friend knew and her best friend like a sex-starved jackrabbit. We tried again after 6 months and she wss still listing to port emotionally, so I called it quits. Found TRP shortly after and have been upward and onward ever since.

                  Edit: A sidenote for AWALT: The ex spent a month in a coma after her attempt and another in rehab before being cleared to go home. The girl I ended up sport fucking tried to get on my dick the entire month my ex was on a ventilator. I'm all for getting my dick wet, but even I couldn't stomach a side chick with my main bitch in the ICU. Karma came her way when her best friend undercut her when we all went out together and hopped on my dick the night she met me. There's a certain pride in knowing your dick caused a rift between friends. Lesson here: women are dirty, especially when it comes to each other.

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  The girl should do an effort to get past this but also care about not turning your life into a living hell.

                  If she does so, you will leave. That shows OP's ex gf believed he wouldn't leave. He was already won over.

                  [–]WolfenSatyr 29 points30 points  (2 children)

                  This is kinda hard for me to answer simply.

                  In this exact scenario, I would have walked away after the first meeting when I got no verbal response from her. Wagons had been circled around her. Sorry you got raped hon, but if I'm not being kept in the loop then I'm not willing to walk a minefield for you every time I come around.

                  In a general situation:

                  If her family/friends shut me out - I walk

                  If her therapist fails to include me in exercises to help her recover - I walk

                  I find out she fucked another guy during recovery and not me - I walk

                  She chases after me with apologies - I walk faster

                  [–]Dueperdue 180 points181 points  (19 children)

                  I might be a sadistic bastard, but I would dump the shit out of her. If she was a unicorn before, she definitely is not one now. It may take years for her to return to be how she was before, but somehow the episode will never leave her, as it left a scar for life.

                  Wanting to support her is admirable, but you must know what you're getting yourself into. You will become an emotional tampon, no doubts about that. You will never be able to look at her like before again.

                  The fact that she fucks another dude instead of you is a demonstration of what I previously said: dump her as soon as possible.

                  Also, remember law 10:

                  Infection: Avoid the unhappy and the unlucky

                  [–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

                  You aren't sadistic. It's just the nature of things. You'd naturally be close to your LTR, right? As a guy, you're supposed to be the stoic rock for her to cling to in times of trouble. Well, this is damn sure one of those times. Where this poor bastard went wrong was by offering unconditional love and support to this broad.

                  Think about it in terms of a market place. This guy is basically saying that he'll pay any amount of commitment, love, and support for this girl's sex/affection. Naturally, the price he pays will skyrocket, while what she offers in return for that price is going to be at an absolute minimum.

                  I've been in a position really similar to this guy's. It happened to her before I was in the picture. Her issues with sex were too serious to be solved and it led to me being in the same supportive position described in this post. The difference is that I eventually came to my senses and saw that I was getting a raw deal and stopped making excuses for her.

                  You really have to look out for yourself out here, regardless of the circumstances. Yeah, a shitty thing happened to her. Yeah, if it happened to your LTR you'd want to help them through it because you care about them, but at the same time, it's out of your hands and it isn't your responsibility to fix someone, especially when it comes at such a huge cost to your own mental state.

                  [–]ColdEiric 15 points16 points  (6 children)

                  This makes me want to avoid any girl who even brings up the word 'rape'.

                  [–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (2 children)

                  in all honesty, you probably should.

                  [–]zombig 7 points8 points  (2 children)

                  If a girl tells you a rape story, she's Schrödinger's Slut. She's either crazy enough to lie in such a way, which can lead to you being the newest rapist in her story, that she may or may not tell to the cops. Or she was raped. Either way, she's damaged goods. Run bro. Run.

                  https://archive.is/N7ArQ

                  [–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                  There's also something Roosh said a while back that has really been shown to be correct, that if she goes public with her story before ever going to the police, there's a 99% certainty she's full of shit.

                  [–]geekygirl23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  She'd likely get over it much quicker without the therapist putting bullshit into her head and her family supporting that.

                  [–]iagovar 3 points4 points  (3 children)

                  I can tell you that the therapist made a very bad job. There's enough scientific literature out there about this to read how to treat those cases. But again and again I see many people doing things wrong. It's frustrating. What are researchers for? Read about your fucking field, for god's sake.

                  [–][deleted] 87 points88 points  (31 children)

                  actually read the entire thing.

                  feel kind of bad for the guy, but he shouldn't have let himself get strung along like that. I don't care if the girls a fucking unicorn, he shouldn't have taken himself off the market for 8 months with no results (its massively detrimental to both him and her, and he fails to realize this). Him because his game probably sucks now, and her because she's nervous about her ex judging her for being a rape victim and all that shit.

                  A certain level of cool detachment is necessary in these kinds of situations. The correct response imo, would've been space, monk mode, revisit, if she's back to normal, great, if not collect plates, reset the board, and don't fucking dwell on it.

                  [–]MordorsFinest 102 points103 points  (20 children)

                  I would have dumped her after a month of not seeing her. If she* doesnt need me for a month she doesnt need me at all. If she is sufficiently comforted by her therapists, family, and her coworker's dick then there's no need to waste any more of my time.

                  [–][deleted]  (7 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]BetterRedThanRed 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                    Three fucking years together and he's not allowed to comfort her after a traumatic event? Sounds like he's not a very important part of her life.

                    This!

                    This is actually all I can say for sure about this story...

                    [–][deleted]  (10 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]ioncloud9 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                      Girls today are glued to their phones. Lack of contact from them for that long is pretty inexcusable.

                      [–]MordorsFinest 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                      Thats what i'd do if the rel was less than a year long, i'd be more tolerant if i dated her for lo get

                      [–]He_who_never_sleeps 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                      At the same time, you can't really put all the blame on this dude. He was manipulated by everyone around him. Most likely to the point where you no longer trust your own thoughts. Pretty much brainwash. Very difficult situation to be in, I can only imagine.

                      I do agree he gave her TOO much time, but he loved her, and that's how is mind worked. Shame, but he will be alright. He just has to accept he is not in the wrong, and has every right to MOVE ON with his own life. No looking back...its her problem.

                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      3 years invested, hard to give that up. I wonder if the rape didn't happen how long this relationship could have lasted.

                      The dude may be beta, but he's a dam loyal guy. However, loyalty means shit these days with women feeling like they can do whatever the hell they want and keep their guy...only know that even if they fuck up too much, they can just replace him.

                      [–]geekygirl23 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                      When someone is this traumatized it takes a mature person to help them through it. Unfortunately, once you let things go on like this for so long there is no fixing them easily. He could very well salvage their relationship and turn her ship around but

                      a) Most would consider him an asshole during this time.

                      b) He'd have to act like a selfish asshole at times.

                      She's obviously broken. It's not irreparable but bowing down to her every wish because she was a victim isn't going to help, especially with a shitty therapist and a family that doesn't know how to handle it.

                      I am no expert but I've been through similar and I'm happy as fuck that my now husband didn't act like that OP. He was kind, supportive and firm.

                      I disagree with just about everything posted here so this isn't some redpill talk. There are a lot of ideas here that are based in truth but misunderstood and put into practice by an immature group of people that only think they understand relationships.

                      Anyhow, sucks for OP but if he wants his girlfriend back it's time to be assertive in that or let her go completely.

                      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      He can't work against all those factors. It's done

                      [–]2niczar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      feel kind of bad for the guy, but he shouldn't have let himself get strung along like that

                      He was emotionally manipulated. If that shit happened to me today, I'd know exactly what to think of it, but when I was his age, I would probably have been fucked over just as well.

                      [–]Tarnsman4Life 48 points49 points  (3 children)

                      "She then proceeds to tell me that the reason she did not meet me for lunch that day is because she was with another guy, somebody from her new job, and that they had been intimate with each other. She might as well have taken a gun out and shot me, it couldn't have hurt anymore. I just drop my head and begin to cry. The therapist then pipes in with some logic about her taking back her sexuality since she was attacked and how this wasn't cheating in the same sense of cheating."

                      This is another example of why therapy is bullshit for a blue pill society. The therapist says that this chick cheating on the boyfriend who has made every effort to support her through this ordeal is a good thing because she isin’t really cheating, she is reclaiming her sexuality. Fucking toxic. Anyone who could rationalize that is nothing short of a sociopath.

                      I can understand a woman wanting to break up after a rape but stringing this guy along for a year is horse shit. This guy while beta as shit did what society told him to do, give her space, let her recover, then gets fucked right in the ass by some CC encouraging therapist.

                      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                      [deleted]

                        [–]Tarnsman4Life 5 points6 points  (1 child)

                        My parents sent me to one when I was in 4th to 5th grade because some head shrinker at my school said I needed it. Thankfully my father realized it was all bullshit after about a year but it was detrimental, instead of focusing on basketball and football during that year I wasted 2 hours, 2 days a week. I won't use it as a crutch but it wasted countless hours I will never get back and really limited my climb through my schools 4th through 8th football league.

                        I have met maybe one or two people who it has helped but the vast majority of people I have met who attend therapy(mostly women) seem to come out worse. The therapists help them rationalize shitty behavior and personal failings while refusing to label their actions as anything but what they are. Your not riding the CC, your exploring your sexuality. Your not using men for money, you are helping further your own goals and aspirations. Therapists benefit from keeping people fucked up if not making them worse.

                        [–]2comment 53 points54 points  (9 children)

                        I have a feeling his girlfriend's family is a matriarchy with the sister and mom, with the dad having no balls. A boyfriend of 3 years doesn't get cut out of the loop by accident and that's if the dad has no honor, is spineless and/or it's a drama driven unit composed of female leaders - and hence the talking-down to (status) by the mom and the run around.

                        It's too bad he wasted almost 5 years on this, but he's probably better off and dodged a bullet. Imagine that family if he married her and got divorced later. I don't think it gets talked enough around here, but you gotta always gotta eye the baggage your dicksheath comes with and her family tops that list.

                        [–]BooksofMagic 1 point2 points  (7 children)

                        I have a feeling his girlfriend's family is a matriarchy with the sister and mom, with the dad having no balls

                        That's an excellent point. As a dad to a soon-to-be-teenage daughter, if I was aware that she was dating someone for 3 years and something traumatic happened like what happened here, I would tell the guy what was going on, and try and include him in the recovery process. Provided I actually approved of said BF though ;P

                        [–]jons_throwaway 80 points81 points  (32 children)

                        I will get flamed for this she is essentially broken and I'm not going to waste my time trying to fix her.

                        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                        [deleted]

                          [–]jons_throwaway 17 points18 points  (1 child)

                          Lurkers man. They are everywhere. Lol

                          [–]knuckelz 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                          They mostly come out at night. Mostly.

                          [–]Tarnsman4Life 47 points48 points  (25 children)

                          The question becomes was it the rape that “broke” this woman for good; or the therapist who basically told her to ride the CC hard as a way to “reclaim her sexuality”. In my experience therapists do more actual harm than good to most people, in this case turning what was by all accounts a good woman before a trauma, into a slut after.

                          [–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 35 points36 points  (6 children)

                          therapists do more actual harm than good to most people

                          Like anything, some are solid, some are hacks. Some will destabilize their clients to hook them on more therapy. They serve as the expensive, never-ending crutch for them.

                          [–]scrantonic1ty 7 points8 points  (4 children)

                          Some will destabilize their clients to hook them on more therapy.

                          It feels like a fundamental conflict of interests. On the one hand a therapist has to think about their 'success rate' for their professional reputation and future earnings...on the other hand, one could easily make a calculated decision to string a certain percentage of patients along and still fly under the radar of suspicion.

                          [–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 7 points8 points  (3 children)

                          Therapists are like feminists in that their answer to everything will tend to be, "What we need here is MORE therapy/feminism."

                          [–]2niczar 12 points13 points  (2 children)

                          There's therapy and then there's this "therapy."

                          Some therapies are evidence based. CBT, for example, in many specific conditions. There is also a related therapy used to treat PTSD that's proven to work and based on rewriting memories, can't remember the name.

                          The difference between these and the bullshit nonsense you have in mind is that they're focused on neuropsychological processes and evaluated according to objective criterions, whereas BS "therapy" is all about finding "meaning".

                          [–]Farabee 12 points13 points  (5 children)

                          I went to a therapist who actually pushed me onto TRP ways without calling it TRP. Wasn't even familiar with this sub or methodology. I explained it to him, and he pretty much confirmed all of it from years of experience. Very cool older guy.

                          [–]SunShoe882 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          This is actually part of my plan. I'm working towards being a therapist and want to work with young men and adults towards taking their lives back. I see a lot of self destructive alphas and sorry betas in need of guidance.

                          [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                          [deleted]

                            [–]jons_throwaway 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                            That doesn't matter. Either way they are still broken.

                            [–]destraht 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                            In my experience therapists do more actual harm than good to most people,

                            We have a Scientologist here ;). That shit is so extremely bad that its viable foundation of a religion material.

                            Personally I've dodged out on my somewhat dysfunctional mother's countless suggestions that I see a therapist. I've seen her hard label several other important men in her life and FUCK all if I would ever escape that being blabbed out over the phone to everyone she knows. As it stands now its just her saying words when she is mad or bored but with an official label or even suggestion it would royally suck balls.

                            [–]a_guy_from_braunau 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                            Because they can mostly do what they want and learn stuff that is not proven scientifically or proven to not work (depends on the school of therapy though). And to be honest... there is a big part of Therapists who went into it because they are just done themselves.

                            [–]SleepNowMyThrowaway 7 points8 points  (6 children)

                            Strange how therapists never seem to cure anything, and make the patient more dependent on them.

                            It's almost as though they have some sort of financial reward for behaving that way ...

                            [–][deleted]  (4 children)

                            [deleted]

                              [–]SleepNowMyThrowaway 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                              Thanks for your perspective, you may well be spot-on.

                              [–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                              It was a common buzzword in the 80s and 90s, for a woman to declare that she was In Recovery.

                              This confers all of the benefits and offloads all of life's responsibilities and expectations as befits someone in the sociological "sick role" The trouble is, this status is open-ended and the people who claimed it seemed to have no path toward, or desire to reach a state of "Recovered."

                              I feel for the woman in the story, and also the man, but he should have bounced after a month of being shut out of her life over this.

                              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                              [deleted]

                                [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

                                what they would do if their LTR got raped. Would you give her space? Would you dump her? Would you continue the relationship like nothing happened?

                                If she is handling it, so the relationship is very much alive, then yes I would support. In the situation here, where she basically cuts off contact, and when she does get back in touch it is sanitized, then it is a soft next, even without the Chad incident. She is not ready for intimate contact with a man: I am a man, so the basis for a relationship has disappeared. Face reality and move on. Her sister and girlfriends are there for the emotional tampon, that is never my role in a relationship. After Chad it is abundantly clear, but it should never have gone on that long.

                                I fully get that in this case it was a genuine rape, not a fake one, and this was a really shitty thing to happen to her. But people are responsible for their own lives, including how they deal with the shit life sometimes deals them. So if she was clearly keen on keeping an intimate relationship going, then help her do that, but as she wasn't, then I would have a responsibility to myself for making a relationship with someone who does.

                                [–]altegopair 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                                If you are in a LTR, then you should be the first outlet for any kind of tragic problem. You have to be her rock. And I think that is where the problem really started. He wasn't her rock so she didn't go to him, she went crawling back to her parents. That indicates that there were significant problems in the LTR to begin with.

                                It might have been worth trying to be that supportive rock, by calling BS on the family and demanding the rights of a partner in a LTR. But waiting on the sidelines is not support. She took him out of the game, and it was time to move on.

                                [–]PedroIsWatching 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                                It's just bizarre. I would have probably acted like him at least initially (supporting your partner in time of crisis) but damn son put your foot down when her family shuts you out and starts pulling the weird no-contact supervised playdates.

                                [–]1WidmerBeer 21 points22 points  (0 children)

                                1 - He couldn't protect her. That will always be in her mind, even if it was impossible for him to be there. Life isn't a batman movie.

                                2 - During the therapy session he should have said he 'understands' after he heard she was cheating and that he'll give her all the space she needs. FOREVER.

                                3- You don't glue back a broken window. It's up to her to pick up the pieces and the BF needs to move on and be happy he isn't legally bound to this therapist puppet.

                                4- She won't kiss you but she'll makeout with another guys dick? Move to Sweden if you're going to be a cuck.

                                [–]celiberation 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                                Even decades later, she will cry the same rape shit when someone finds out that she has been fucking Chad. Time to cut the crap immediately or get ready for a "OP raped her" charge if OP imposes himself assertively.

                                [–]let_terror_reign 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                                Support without question, but this kind of acting up? I'm done and out. My honor and loyalty would compel me to stay as long as I think she's still mine , even if that means she's damaged and no sex for a while. That's ok. Rape breaks people physically and mentally.
                                She might be damaged, but if ice been with her for long enough I'd stay.

                                [–]aphelion3342 46 points47 points  (18 children)

                                Well, this is one of those situations where she really got raped. So, in that case, I wouldn't dump her. Although I'd have it in the back of my mind that this relationship probably now has an expiration date for reasons beyond my control.

                                What would I do? Shit. Tough one. It's one of those situations where almost anything you do is wrong. I guess in the end i'd have to pay attention to my own needs, which as you can see is the only thing that got him anywhere in the first place.

                                [–]Modredpillschool 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                                The way I see it, shit happens and it really really sucks when somebody is a victim of something as terrible as rape. I wouldn't want to hold that against them.

                                However, I do have an expectation that despite whatever bad things happen, their behavior towards me still needs to be positive. That is, if you were to define a relationship, it is nothing more than the culmination of interactions between two people. If they decide to treat their partner poorly, due to victim-hood or malice, it still means that the relationship is not good. I don't care what's going on in your life, you control you and you decide how you're going to behave towards me.

                                Be mad, be sad, be depressed, be whatever you need to help recover. But do not treat me poorly, because that's a choice and I'm out if you do.

                                [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                                [deleted]

                                  [–]aphelion3342 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                  I wonder if the family subconsciously blames him somehow for the rape. Weird reaction all around.

                                  [–][deleted]  (11 children)

                                  [removed]

                                    [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (10 children)

                                    Well there are two types of men here really. Let's say the Marcus Aurelius' and the Frank Underwoods. Benevolent leaders, and Machiavellian opportunists.

                                    aphelion is a benevolent. The downvoters are the Machiavellis. Both types are advertised here. Pesonal choice what you go for. I guess the Machiavellis are more successful short term.

                                    [–]magus678 3 points4 points  (4 children)

                                    Im fairly sure the same is true in the long term as well, if you measure success as pure personal benefit.

                                    However, the opportunists generally dont build anything, either. They are looters rather than creators.

                                    I think the benevolent types usually think it is both possible and desirable to try to leave things better than they found them.

                                    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

                                    Yes I have arrogantly defined success in a narrow way. Very perceptive... I will be thinking about this.

                                    Builders vs. looters... this is exactly what I meant to communicate, only you've illustrated it much better.

                                    [–]magus678 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                                    I borrow the phrasing from Ayn Rand. While I don't consider her philosophy bullet proof, she has a lot of interesting things to say.

                                    Some Google searches will find essays on the subject, if you are interested.

                                    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                                    I've been meaning to read her for a while, I guess she just bumped up the list a little.

                                    [–]magus678 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                    Be prepared for a bit of a slog. While I think she is obviously intelligent, I don't find her to be a particularly good writer.

                                    You may dig into her essays rather than her fictional work, to see how she resonates with you.

                                    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

                                    "There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more." Woody Allen

                                    [–]libertypole 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                                    this seems hard to relate to. i think of my own life and if something bad happened to me, wouldn't that be the time i would cling closer than ever to someone who made me happy? is there something about a girl getting raped that changes that fact? it's hard for me to imagine.

                                    it seems like this traumatic event was just a great excuse to phase out her boyfriend she really didn't give a fuck about before the incident.

                                    [–]JumpXVI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                    Interesting hypothesis. And if she didn't give a fuck about her bf beforehand, to the point where she would actually use an awful tragic event in her life as a veil to justify cheating, she is doing a gross disservice to rape victims.

                                    [–]Vigilo_Infinite 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                                    Whilst there might be a small element of AWALT here, AWALT refers to a womans hard wired nature to trade up. Although women have child-like reasoning skills, they are not socially retarded enough to just forgo an resource analysis of a situation and cheat for no good god damn reason.

                                    What does that mean? AWALT =/= all women are cheaters.

                                    The big element here is her damage, which is far greater than the influence of AWALT.

                                    This woman suffered serious PTSD and it fucked up her head. Then her therapist perpetuated a state where the toxic shit in her head was stirred into some sort of vile mess worse than she had before.

                                    This reaffirms that:

                                    • You cannot fix broken, neither should you try. Be empathic but pragmatic.

                                    • Look out for yourself first. Everyone is allowed "grieving space" after a fucked up event but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to bring the damaged back to normality.

                                    • Do a risk analysis of people you get intimately involved with but be sensitive to bullet point #1. You can only try so much till you end up wasting time.

                                    [–]TheDialecticParadox[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                                    Yeah you're absolutely right. I had been typing for a while and just wanted to finish. AWALT was a poor way to explain my after thoughts

                                    [–]Vigilo_Infinite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                    Enjoyed the write up, good post matey.

                                    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                                    It's sad to see that everyone thinks rape ruins you forever, gives you a whole another personality, and you never recover. Stories such as this one prove the worst of fears. If it's real, this therapist is not good at what they are doing.

                                    If everyone keeps saying you're broken, soon enough you will feel irreversibly broken (call it victim mentality or the nocebo effect, it can affect you). If someone breaks a leg, do you put on a cast and eventually encourage them to use the leg, or do you pronounce them to be permanently paraplegic?

                                    [–]Bottled_Void 5 points6 points  (2 children)

                                    I know where I am. But where is the knowledge in this?

                                    If you're in a LTR and your girlfriend is raped, you should just dump them? No conditions, just dump them because they were raped.

                                    I'm a little worried that the answer I'm going to get is, 'yes'.

                                    [–]BetterRedThanRed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                                    f you're in a LTR and your girlfriend is raped, you should just dump them?

                                    I would do this:

                                    • I would 100% expect my three year LTR to talk with me about it. And not after a month. I would expect a call the same or the next day. Maybe two days after the rape. And I would also expect to see her personally within 2 days.

                                      In "OP's" situation I would have demanded to see her. Okay, I give her one week. But at day 8 I would be very clear that this relationship is over if she does not speak with me within the next days. And I want to see her ALONE. I am her boyfriend, not a stress factor she can only face together with her parents and a therapists. If she does not see me as her boyfriend, but as a stress factor = relationship over

                                    • Now let's assume she would see me within one week and is fine being alone with me...

                                      I would favor that I am more involved than her parents in her therapy. She is 27 and we are in a relationship for 3 years. I am practically her husband already. I am her closest family. Her parents are next. But okay, she wants her parents involved, even closer than I. I could accept this. I could not accept that I am completely excluded. Except if it is a deal like: "I want our relationship to be exactly the same. With you, I still want our happy life." But "I am totally traumatized, but I will only talk about it with everybody else." = relationship over

                                    • cheating on me = end of our relationship

                                    [–]THE_CARDINAL 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                                    Right? I don't see any intuitive options offered here that the guy didn't already make. He tried to be available after a traumatic experience. This thread is making it seem like he should have immediately cut ties after a week of no contact, that's a disgusting opinion. I do not like where this post went.

                                    [–][deleted]  (10 children)

                                    [deleted]

                                    [–]hammer81tn 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                                    That reminds me of the song "overburdened" by disturbed. The line that says, "if it all amounts to nothing, why then, am I standing in this line?"

                                    [–]SilentForTooLong 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                                    Most guys would have forgiven the cheating, too...hah

                                    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

                                    I took one to the ER after she called me at 3 AM claiming to have been raped. She then spent a few months moaning about how I was sexually inferior to black men, before deciding I was a serial rapist of lesbians.

                                    My last two years of uni I lost all my friends, and my academics went to shit. No help from the school, and only assistance I was offered was "encouragement" to go to therapy to be a better therapist (by a bluepilled closet case trying to social signal his way into pussy). Therapy btw, told me there was no such thing as objective truth ergo if I'm a supposed rapist, I'm a rapist. :D

                                    [–]BlackHeart89 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                                    The rape thing is different. I understand traumatizing shit can lead to doing irrational shit, so I won't and wouldn't pretend to know what a rape victim is going through.

                                    But regardless, I will not tolerate my girl fucking other men. I wouldn't snap or curse her or anything. I would just move on. Not saying that it would be easy or anything. But in my head, I would have no choice but to move on. I mean damn, I'm over here taking her out to eat a shit and been with her for 3 years, but the new guy is getting his dick sucked...? Damn that. I'm out. She relinquished all of her value in my eyes. Not judging. Its just that I don't deserve that sort of shit.

                                    [–]xmabden 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                                    I'm interested to hear other people's thoughts on what they would do if their LTR got raped.

                                    The only personal experience in dating a girl who was raped was well after the fact and before I met her when she was 18yo.

                                    This 15 yo girl, brought home some scumbag when her parents were not home. Young, foolish, naive, for sure, but none the less, he raped her, forced his dick in her mouth, etc.

                                    Raised in a very strict catholic household with an abusive father, she did not tell anyone what happened. However, the next day, she took the largest knife out of the kitchen she could find and went searching for the scumbag. She was ready, willing, and able to take this guy out. At least that was her mindset. Not sure exactly how thought out her plan was, but there was going to be justice for this guy and she was going to be the one to administer it.

                                    She never found the guy and eventually learned he was arrested on some outstanding felony warrants and likely out of her life for the foreseeable future. This seemed to satisfy her, that this guy was at least out of society, behind bars, and probably getting ass and mouth raped.

                                    No way to corroborate her story, but seemed like she was telling the truth and no real reason to lie or make up some fucking bizarre story like this one.

                                    The only reservation I had was her poor judgement in allowing this guy into her home (with her younger siblings.)

                                    The point, is she did not become a victim, she sought revenge on the guy who took her virginity in a violent manner with equally violent reaction/plan. She did have some trust issues when it came to sex with her at first, but after she became comfortable with me, the sex was top notch.

                                    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                                    3 years? They were together 3 years and she reacts like this with him? I'd be dumbfounded. If my girlfriend was raped at knifepoint I would be her main base of support, not some idiot therapist. If she went even a day without talking to me I would lose it, no matter how upset you are it takes no effort to text the person you have had a life with for the last 3 fucking years.

                                    If she did react this way I would give her a few days at most to come around and at least start getting things back to normal. I hate how feminist psychology make rape out to be worse than the fucking holocaust, making a girl feel like she is supposed to be fucked up for the rest of her life does not help what so ever.

                                    [–]JumpXVI 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                                    She is a hypergamous cheater, plain and simple. In a situation as unpleasant, uncommon and unfortunate as this, it would normally be silly and probably heartless to say "plain and simple". Her actions, however, prove it:

                                    • She didn't break up with him after the rape
                                    • She demonstrates she is actually capable of intimacy, just not with her bf
                                    • She "does not want to lose him"
                                    • She still rebuffs her bf's intimate advances after demonstrating she is actually capable of intimacy

                                    Listen, you're allowed to break up with your SO after a traumatic rape. Even if others may posit that your bf of three years could (or even should) help you through it, no one would fault her for saying "I can't be with anyone right now, I'm sorry, it's too hard." The OP would certainly have accepted this.

                                    But when you actually cheat on him, it's a red flag. Sleeping with someone else is still understandable due to the whole trauma thing, but the difference between sleeping with someone else and cheating could not be more starkly underlined than in this case. It's cheating when you don't want to lose your bf, because you can break up with him. And when you don't or can't reestablish the sexual relationship you had with him it solidifies your hypergamy because you can simply just be with the guy you cheated with—why start crying when you finally wear through his vast patience?

                                    [–]BetterRedThanRed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                                    Fuck, I just realized that she is 27 yo. While reading the story, I felt like she was 17 and still living with her parents.

                                    But no, she is 27 and dating him for three years. At this point, their relationship is only legally different to husband and wife. He is (should be) her family!

                                    She not calling him means: He is emotionally not part of her family! He is still just some random guy she happens to date. So why should she be more to him? After one week of not calling or two weeks of not spending time with each other, he should have seen it and ended the relationship.

                                    [–]BallisticTherapy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                                    If my LTR got raped, I would be there and provide emotional support. If she tried to cuck me, the seal has been broken. The four horse cocks of the apocalypse have poured molten semen into her damaged psyche. She is damaged as a human being, has gone full hamster, and there's no salvaging it. Just scrap it and move on.

                                    [–]1favours_of_the_moon 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                                    Pretty creepy how she uses her violent assault in order to perform this mindrape power play.

                                    I'd be disappointed in her if I didn't expect it.

                                    [–]steelerfaninperu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                                    I'm interested to hear other people's thoughts on what they would do if their LTR got raped.

                                    Honestly, I think as a man you're in a lose-lose situation here.

                                    If you dump the girl because she's having emotional issues which she is perfectly justified in having, you will be called an asshole by everyone around you who hasn't swallowed the pill (so pretty much everyone).

                                    If you stick around like OP here, you're get treated like raw broccoli: pushed onto the side of the plate and left uneaten.

                                    If it happened to me, I'd be straight with her: "Look, I can't even begin to imagine how fucked up this is for you, but the best thing for you to do is try to put your life back together and move on. I'm willing to do that with you if you are. But I have a life, too, and I'm not putting it on hold if you're not going to make an effort to reinsert (poor choice of words?) yourself into society and my life."

                                    The best move isn't to give her space to be around a swarming hive of people who will try to make her feel better. The best move is to be the damn guiding light, follow my ass or GTFO. Women need a man to give them direction, they need somebody to take charge, and I imagine that after a tragedy that becomes ever truer than before.

                                    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                                    The wife of a good friend of mine was brutally raped by a burglar while her newborn baby lay next to her on the bed.

                                    I know that she went to therapy alone and with her husband. She was always a strong woman and she became an even stronger woman after the rape. She went to therapy to get back to normal life.

                                    They don't discuss their bedroom life with anyone, never did. From what I can see, their marriage is as strong as ever. The first person she involved was her husband.

                                    The idea of alienating your own bf like that for so long is downright bad business practice. Aside from the fact that it makes no sense, it's just dishonest. It's sick to string someone along like that.....

                                    Needless to say, he should have dumped her entitled little ass way before she fucked the other dude.

                                    [–]yummyluckycharms 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                    This story epitomizes briffaults law - the male no longer has any value to her, and any past good deeds done in favour of the gf are forgotten and made meaningless.

                                    One has to wonder if he wasn't taking her out for lunch, would she even have wanted to see him? My guess - no.

                                    [–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                                    Explanation: She blames him for not protecting her from the rapist, even though he didn't have the opportunity to protect her. Something similar happened to an acquaintance; the relationship ended.

                                    [–]TekkomanKingz 24 points25 points  (11 children)

                                    If your LTR gets raped, she's American and it's not your Wife just break up.

                                    There's nothing you can do for her.

                                    Any Woman born in any other country would never react this way period. I think it is because American Women are delusional, self-entitled and think how could they possibly be raped? Other Women are more realistic around the world raised in crime riddled environments with corrupt police.

                                    [–]Modredpillschool 8 points9 points  (1 child)

                                    Agreed. Women are given the latitude to act like perpetual victims, so they do.

                                    You know what happens for men when something terrible happens? They either learn to snap the fuck out of it, or they become homeless.

                                    There's a pretty strong motivator to keep men from being perpetual victims, and the ones that get pushed too far have a serious mental break. (And make up a majority of the homeless population, and are mostly suffering from ptsd from war)

                                    [–]NewestHouse 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                                    You know what happens for men when something terrible happens? They either learn to snap the fuck out of it, or they become homeless.

                                    fuck man, this almost made me shed a tear....it breaks my heart how many homeless men i see every day, nobody gives a fuck about them they have no support whatsoever!

                                    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                                    A normal reaction from the woman would be to run to her man for protection.

                                    [–]randarrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                    Normal reaction is for a woman to run to where she feels safe/secure/protected. Why would a woman run to some beta chump?

                                    [–]imeneo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                    Bonus lesson: Therapy is just another product that people think they need. It is even used as a tool for women to justify their bad behavior.

                                    [–]manwhowouldbeking 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                    never pat a burning dog, he should of cut bait after the inital meeting when he realised that things were not going to be the same again, her cheating the therapist etc etc nothing good came out of this for him from her. She didn't want his help or even include him in her support structure he was at fault to. He felt hurt and didn't give voice to that pain.

                                    [–]enkae7317 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                    Not going to lie. Reading the article post by the original OP got me mad.

                                    Like shit, I feel for the guy. He spents like a YEAR giving her space and making an effort and then she goes off and fucks her coworker who shes only known for a couple of weeks at best? Really? You got a perfectly good guy there dying to see you back again and you're going behind his back and the NERVE of this woman to even rationalize this shit.

                                    And EVERYONE around her is defending her too. Like what the fuck. I'm walking. I know hes been with her for 3 years and I feel bad that she got raped but the boyfriend gave up so much for her only to have to return back to a cheating whore.

                                    /rant.

                                    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                    I was ready to defend the girl and the guy's support considering the scenario all the way up until he found out she cheated. I'm surprised a therapist would condone that behavior.

                                    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                    Getting raped is a bad thing.. and clearly it damages ppl.. but that is no excuse to cheat and sudenly treat you like shit and then continue to play the victim in regards to her bad behavior

                                    [–]O3EAN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                                    Imagine if this happened back in caveman days. If the mother of your children was raped by another man and you didn't stop it/weren't there to stop it, she would view it as your fault that you weren't there to save her and would look down on you for it. I think the circumstances would be pretty similar here.

                                    Doesn't have to be logical to the woman, she views it as a failure in her man to prevent the violent rape from happening.

                                    [–]evileddy 14 points15 points  (13 children)

                                    If your girlfriend gets raped you might as well breakup and move on... it's horrible and sucks but why have two people suffering for it?

                                    [–]magus678 25 points26 points  (6 children)

                                    While this is probably the end result, I think it would be callous to do it immediately. Sometimes a little humanity is in order

                                    [–]TRP VanguardCyralea 8 points9 points  (2 children)

                                    If your social reputation matters to you, it's definitely in your best interests to wait it out. Start contacting new plates in the meanwhile, give it a few weeks and then end it. Play it off as something that couldn't be reconciled, you've got plausible deniability.

                                    [–]magus678 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                                    Presumably you care about the girl. While you can't fix what happened, you can at least try not to pile on. The relationship is likely doomed but she may need a bit of time to really internalize that.

                                    I think coasting for a month isn't too much to ask considering the circumstances.

                                    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                                    [deleted]

                                      [–]destraht 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      Agreed, though if she won't even have tea with you after a week like it was a pre-marriage family meeting in an Indian movie then she can suck a nut.

                                      [–]TheDialecticParadox[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

                                      I think it's people's natural tendency to feel responsible for their partners' health. This guy was obviously set on being with her for as long he could, so it's not surprising how he reacted.

                                      I was surprised to find people saying that leaving a rape victim can actually snap them out of the self-victimization and dependency, but it can also cause them to spiral into depression.

                                      You're right though, ultimately you are responsible for your own happiness and no-one else's.

                                      [–]evileddy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                                      That's all I'm saying.. rape is fucking horrible and destroys most people.. so why destroy two?

                                      [–]Vigilo_Infinite 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                                      I agree you cannot fix broken, neither should you try and that you should be empathic but pragmatic. If she cannot come back on her own, you have a duty to your own wellbeing.

                                      I say that because the way you write it feels like:

                                      "A happened, therefore B" which is not always the case.

                                      [–]StrokeGameHusky 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                                      Two people fucked this kids gf more recently than he did, what other information do we need?

                                      [–]evileddy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                                      He was trying to do what he thought was the right thing to do.. I hope he learned the harsh lesson of "Nobody gives a fuck about you.. so take care of yourself first!!"

                                      [–]MordorsFinest 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                                      Most other people? I have never dated a rape victim, and after reading this i wont

                                      [–]2niczar 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                                      First this probably never happened. The bit about him getting the address of the therapist without being told what it was is simply nonsensical, for example.

                                      But let's imagine it did happen.

                                      She was fucking the other guy before the rape. She was probably even going to see them when she was attacked.

                                      That's congruent with her guilt-ridden behavior. Now people experiencing such trauma can react weirdly, I'll give you that. But that also explains the behavior of the parents, who act like they're definitely hiding something. I can see how the girl would be ashamed to see her boyfriend after the rape, but then her parents and sister would be apologetic towards OP. Why else would they keep him away with a 10 foot pole?

                                      Finally it also explains the therapist's behavior.

                                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

                                      Shitty situation really, all around. One thing I find interesting is that victims of rape view themselves as being to blame and they feel broken by the experience. Yet when a guy in this situation decides they don't want her anymore because of it, they are villified for their "insensitivity".

                                      But really, some victims climb on the CC afterwards because they equate their self worth with sex, and to that end, they will ride the carousel. Still others might go same sex.

                                      I mean, why bother when you see those signs in front of you?

                                      [–]TheDialecticParadox[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                                      This was a comment from a healthcare worker and I though it was interesting:

                                      I want to take a moment to inform you about Sexual Revictimization. Promiscuity after rape, or stepping outside of a relationship post-rape is a sign of revictimization. Sometimes rape survivors cheat, become sex-workers such as prostitutes, and otherwise demean themselves. There can sometimes be a lot of fear, hate, and self-loathing after a rape and a survivor may tragically direct those feelings inwards through self-destruction. Using sex to end your social support is one example. Engaging in unprotected sex to end a relationship with a patient and supportive spouse is revictimization.

                                      This pretty much answered my question. Do women 'revictimize' themselves? Or is it something else? Possibly looking for closure in sex with strangers that they initiated? Perhaps loss of frame from LTR partners post-rape, that leaves them desiring Chad's meat stick?

                                      I'm going to update my post with this response because I think it's important.

                                      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                                      I am glad I could help. I always found the psychology behind it interesting. See one thing about us men is that when something is broken, we want to fix it. But what if what is broken does not want to be fixed?

                                      That is why your OP is a valuable read.

                                      [–]thefisherman1961 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      Yet when a guy in this situation decides they don't want her anymore because of it, they are villified for their "insensitivity".

                                      That's because for some reason, people do not view the rape victim's partner as a victim. Like the OP in that story, I would be pretty traumatized and feel beta as fuck for failing to protect my S/O from being raped.

                                      [–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      I'm interested to hear other people's thoughts on what they would do if their LTR got raped. Would you give her space? Would you dump her? Would you continue the relationship like nothing happened?

                                      Certainly not the latter.

                                      Otherwise it would depend on how long we've been together (I am not putting my life on hold indefinitely for a person I've been with for 2 months - mother of my children and wife of 20 years is a whole differnt story) and how her behavior after the rape is (is she for all intents and purposes broken by the trauma, and without a sign of recovery?).

                                      What the guy did was way past the mark that would have been okay.

                                      [–]robjnava 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      This is actually pretty fucked up. I tried to view it objectively but the empathy I felt for the guy just stopped me.

                                      Hope he gets his shit together soon.

                                      [–]S74RK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      I want to take a moment to inform you about Sexual Revictimization. Promiscuity after rape, or stepping outside of a relationship post-rape is a sign of revictimization. Sometimes rape survivors cheat, become sex-workers such as prostitutes, and otherwise demean themselves. There can sometimes be a lot of fear, hate, and self-loathing after a rape and a survivor may tragically direct those feelings inwards through self-destruction. Using sex to end your social support is one example. Engaging in unprotected sex to end a relationship with a patient and supportive spouse is revictimization.

                                      And to a lesser degree, this now happens when a girl's LTR ends. I have literally lost count of the number of girls who have engaged in these behaviors to "try and forget" things after their relationship ends. They'll admit it too.

                                      It's fucked -- the amount of trauma causing these girls to "sexually re-victimize" is becoming less and less. I'm not surprised at this story in the OP, it would be a hard situation for anyone to balance holding frame and trying to be supportive. But man, soon it's gonna get to the point where these girls are totally fine having a ONS on a girl's night because they had 1 fight and their feels got hurt. And you better believe their friends will tell 'em it's OK.

                                      Our material abundance and excessive digital social proof is leading to some of the most fragile minds we've ever seen.

                                      [–]thenarrrowpath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      ROK put out an article about this. Basically if a woman says she was raped then either 1) she really was raped and you are probably not at all prepared or willing to deal with those types of mental issues or 2) she spells regret as R-A-P-E and you could very well be risking your own safety. As for this guy, I think he handled it the best he could for what little RP he may know of. Sounds like his GF was legit raped, like the type that most people think of instead of what happens most of the time that being a person the victim already knows.

                                      [–]Sdom1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      EDIT: I read this whole thing again, and something does not add up. I'm not saying the OP is being untruthful, there just has to be a lot he doesn't know, a lot that's been kept from him. I have to wonder if she was cheating on and/or planning to leave him anyway before the rape took place.

                                      The way he was treated is just bizarre.

                                      In any event, this isn't a great demonstration of red pill/blue pill principles. She was raped at knife-point, that is some traumatic, life-changing shit. She will never be the girl he dated - it's possible that she knows that deep down and doesn't want reminders of who she was. Who knows? He just needs to get as far away as possible

                                      [–]dafuqey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      One who cheats will cheat again.

                                      [–]SunShoe882 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      As someone studying to be a therapist (I'm male btw), the comments from the therapist are way out of line. This is a very unhealthy way to express one's sexuality, especially when it has collateral damage in the woman's life. I'm actually horrified by it.

                                      [–]Three_Finger_Brown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      "The therapist then pipes in with some logic about her taking back her sexuality since she was attacked and how this wasn't cheating in the same sense of cheating"

                                      Since when is cheating definded by the cheater not the cheated on? If I am in a serious monogomous relationship, I make if perfectly well known that everything from kissing someone (outside of family etc) to sex is cheating in my book, no ifs ands or buts.

                                      She doesnt get to cheat to regain her womanhood or take back her sexuality, she should have offically broken up with her "boyfriend" at that point and done what she felt she needed to do, not string him along while she "finds" herself. Then if they can make things work down the line they might be better off, if not, he doesnt get hurt worse than her breaking it off, and she isnt a dirty cheater.

                                      Also, why did the sexual reawakening need to happen with a stranger? The boyfriend was not the rapist, nor the cause of any trama, so why couldnt he touch her for like 6 months? If she thought that (sex) is what she needed to more forward, why was he not included? I cant believe any therapist is going to tell a rape victim to get back on the horse by finding some strange.

                                      [–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      In-fact, I would go as far to say the therapist has caused the victim-complex to spiral out of control.

                                      Once, I was watching a family in a park. The youngest child was a rugrat in diapers -- couldn't have been more than 14 months. He/she was waddling around, having a great time.

                                      All of a sudden, the infant lost balance and fell on its butt. The distance couldn't have been more than 8 inches, and the diaper padded the fall, giving a soft "pfft" sound as it hit. Point is, it probably didn't hurt.

                                      The infant didn't seem too upset about it, but instantly a parent swooped in with the "oh poor baby" tone.

                                      Only once the infant was picked up and consoled did it start crying.

                                      ... and it didn't let up for several minutes.

                                      Dad's treating me like I hurt myself, so I guess I hurt myself.

                                      Treat people like victims and they'll act like victims.

                                      [–]hangun_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      Seems to me the red pill is one big therapy session for victims of emotional rape.

                                      Just like a man uses his superior physical strength and size to take what he wants from a woman; a woman, lacking the ability to physically overpower him, will employ the strengths she naturally possesses over a man to take what she wants.

                                      Neither are OK and both types of manipulation are equally damaging to the psyche, this sub being the case in point. Unfortunately, the non-physical manipulation, "emotional rape," is generally not taken as seriously. Maybe because it is not as objectively quantifiable.

                                      With that said, I think this thread is shameful and hypocritical. Just like the girl in question's therapist is enabling her to cope with her physical rape in an unhealthy way, this sub enables men to cope with their emotional rapes in just as unhealthy of ways.

                                      I think we should all be gentler with each other, men and women alike because it doesn't have to be like this.

                                      [–]Drenmar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      Not sure what I'd do. I would give her space for a couple of days/weeks but pretty soon I would treat her the same way as I did before the rape happened. If she/her family/her therapist still keeps pushing me away I dump her.

                                      [–]1sardinemanR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      Great read. I'm long past the anger phase so it was just really funny to me.

                                      The Lessons learned are definitely AWALT as well as women get damaged easily. She was forcefully damaged, but a woman having sex willingly also damages herself.

                                      N=0 is the only way for women not to damage themselves. Surprise, surprise, that's how society was setup for thousands of years to get to the advanced level we are at now.

                                      What women called patriarchy was in fact an elaborate social system setup to protect them at all costs. They threw that away.

                                      Now TRP is amoral, but, I think it's important to point out even if you have moral qualms, there's no need to have them because look at how society will always bend over backwards for a woman. She won't actually be alone or have to suffer or anything, her family, professional help, all the white knights in the world will be at her beck and call to be her orbiter and comforter. So you don't need to take on that cross.

                                      Always move on, never commit or care about a girl, and if she has any rape story or history, move on. Even if it's not her fault, YOU don't need to be the dude to play therapist, there are professionals for that, and plenty of thirsty betas that will happily take that role. I think it's too dangerous to even be the alpha fuck in that situation, but hey YMMV.

                                      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                                      He made the mistake of assuming two people in a relationship are there to support each other. It's not the case. As much as this is sad, a healthy relationship nowadays is a relationship where you can not afford to treat your female partner like a human being.

                                      [beta cringes]

                                      The hardest thing for me if I had been in this guy's shoes would have been to understand when the relationship was over. I mean, from the begining it looks like they are still in a relationship and the guy needs to support her a bit.

                                      How I would react if my LTR got raped? I would show support, obviously. I would give her space if that's what she says she needs to. But damn it, I would think about myself first : do I want to stay with someone whose rape obviously fucked in the head? Why am I being supportive? Because I want to have sex with her and have a great relationship with her. What does it takes to get that? If the answer is "a year without affection and without sex" then she is simply not my ltr anymore. An ltr is partly an INTIMATE relationship based on great sex, respect for me and dominance from me.

                                      OP didn't get sex, obviously, but he didn't get respect either (she didn't text him, didn't explain anything to him....basically treating him like shit without even apologizing. I don't care how much you are affected by your rape, if you don't treat me with respect then you are out.) and dominance was absent. This kind of relationship has no chance of survival.

                                      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                                      [deleted]

                                      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                      Actually it would make sense to evolve a negative psychological reaction to rape, because it circumvents women's sexual choice. And to women, sexual choice is very important, since each sexual contact could result in a baby they have to spend at least 9 months on (and the woman wouldn't want to spend her precious time on the genes of men she finds unattractive). Being raped could also turn off betas, and she could lose providors and protectors. So yes, there are good reasons to evolve a painful reaction to rape. The whole point of feeling pain is to avoid the pain-causing agent in the future. Rape would make a woman extra paranoid and careful in the future, so rape doesn't happen again.

                                      But despite that, rape really shouldn't ruin your forever. If psychological pain is an adaption against getting raped more times, then it shouldn't be so big that you stop functioning alltogether.

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