Field Report[Dating Apps] Here is how easy it can be... (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 3itiswr1tten

Alright boys, short and sweet. Invest in yourself to become attractive and the game changes. That's what they say, right? I'll show you 3 examples. Before we dive in, here are some prerequisites to achieving this:

  • Be in shape. Fatties don't get these responses
  • USE SOME PROFESSIONAL PICTURES - it goes a long way
  • Keep your profile short and simple. List your height if it's >=6'
  • Just escalate if it's not going anywhere - the truth will come out
  • Play the numbers fgt. It's the same as sales - hit 100 doors and at least 1 will be the easiest sale of your life

/u/mallardcove has 2 great guides for dating apps if you want to get in depth.


Case 1: the 1%

In about 1-2% of cases, this happens

No further comment really needed.

Case 2: Fish jumps in the boat

This one is more interesting

My opener here is a classic - feel free to steal it, but remember who gave it to you! This opener is great because it's a bit disarming while also demonstrating you're interested RIGHT NOW.

This one happened because I slow played it....notice the timestamps. I also pursued just enough by messaging back, but not messaging over and over. By the end she hooked herself.

Case 3: the average incident

We'll investigate this one step by step

So her profile gave me an easy "in" - I know the dental industry pretty well so by playing to her interests she started investing immediately. If she has her Instagram on there you can almost always find SOMETHING relevant or informative enough to use this kind of opener.

After the opener, I focus on FORDs talk That's Family Occupation Recreation Dreams. It's the boulevard between small talk and way too involved talk. Practice this and remember it. FORDs loosens people up.

Next I throw some feelz and keep the conversation interesting by offering a little "secret". Feelz are sustenance, brothers.

Quickly after the feelz I escalate. Once 10 or so exchanges pass it's time to ask no matter how it's going. At the end, I sent her MY number and teased a little.


So that's it. Wondering if this stuff works? Reconsidering lifting 3x+ a week? Remember that I exist, and I am your competition. If you want these results, you have to become The Guy. Good hunting gents.

[–]2chazthundergut 155 points156 points  (12 children)

Dude you've obviously got game. But I think you text too much, like with the dentist. She was invested almost immediately. After four texts you could've said:

"Let's do this in person over drinks. What's your phone number?"

But overall good stuff. Thanks for the advice will implement some of your tactics. Keep it up dude.

[–][deleted]  (9 children)


    [–]Actualadvicepharm 7 points8 points  (8 children)

    I have a question about this whole not messaging except for logistics stuff. Women on here are obviously matching with heaps of people if you match, set a date and don’t talk, while they’re constantly conversing with other guys, many probably more attractive than you, won’t they forget about you and cancelcancel dates etc?

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)


      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      It really doesn't matter how much you text. There is a very low percentage of women who are actually down to meet IRL on these dating apps and texting for a day or a month won't make a difference - they are open to that possibility from the get go.

      I've had a chick who superliked me and we texted every day up until the date (3 or 4 days) and then literally 2 hours before the date she flaked due to a "family emergency". On the other hand I've had chicks that I had to text only 5 messages to set up a date and on the same day they were sucking my cock.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        What I wanted to say is that no matter what you say or how much you text you’re not getting them out of the validation frame - they’ll still flake because they just needed to know that a guy who look as good as you find them hot.

        They’re not going to grab drinks with you because you don’t exist to them - they already have plenty of cock IRL to choose from - even if they have lower SMV than you. You can’t spark emotions through text so you’re always in disadvantage.

        Again, there’s a very small percentage of women who use Tinder for actual dates/sex and as long as you’ve made past the “get to know you” phase texting 1 day or a week won’t make a difference. Usually these women don’t have much going on in their lives or don’t have big social circles so cock is relatively scarce and they rely on online to get their fix.

        Anyway, online is a big waste of time IMO. I still use it like 30 minutes every week and had somewhat decent results but the match to lay ratio is simply too low. If in real life (cold approach) you’re pulling 3% of your approaches, online you’re only pulling .1% of your matches.

        [–]Zoltiel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yes, if the date is 2-3 days away, I will send a text each day leading up to the date trying to get to know a little bit about her.

        [–]TheShearerComplex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Can speak from experience that this is the case.

        I’ve personally found texting every other day leading up to the date. The initial texts need to be non-needy funny statements. Also a lot of the time the girl will text you first.

        [–]BusterVadge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        It's mostly a numbers game. What you want to try to do is weed out the flakes quickly.

        My formula is

        • Small talk
        • Hook with something personal
        • Set up a real life date

        My hook's usually "I noticed X about you, that's really impressive". Then she'll usually start sending more personal message, that's when you move to the real life date hook:

        "I'm not on here often and these type of conversations are WAY better face to face. I'm going to be at x at 9:00 tomorrow night, you should meet me there."

        Then they will either say yes, no, or "I can't make it that day". If they can't make it that day and they don't offer another day that works I will not contact them again.

        No more than 10 messages is my rule. If it takes any more than that they're not going to meet you in real life.

        [–]3itiswr1tten[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

        Oh I definitely over sold that one. Good you noticed. Average is 5/10 so...we're all still learning here and it's why I chose the word. Can't teach the kiddos with only my best game.

        Sales tip boys: when you have made the sale, STOP TALKING.

        [–]TheRealDennisVang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I agree, a bit too much texting back and forth.

        [–]lifeisledzep 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Wow. Lots of talking on here. Why not simplify it and move to texting sooner? Unless you are chad, I’d Aim to close for a date within 2-3 days.

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Sometimes women give hilariously awful pickup lines on Bumble.

        I'll say something like, "Good thing women don't need pickup lines to get laid, or the human race would die out ;)"

        "Hey who says I'm trying to get laid! ;) hehe," is a typical response

        It is really incredible to see the gulf of just how little they have to do to get men. Women do not need and thus do not have any game skills whatsoever. They simply are what they are and this gets them what it gets them.

        [–]eldritch_dude 25 points26 points  (0 children)

        You misspelled "gauging"

        you spelled "gaging" which is close to "gagging" which is not something you want to mention in your first text to a girl

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)


        [–]3itiswr1tten[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        This is most recent fwb. I don't go any lower than 7ish


        You're 23 so your strategy and quality/types you can pull are much more limited than mine. I expected this response and your strategy is equally viable in your demo

        [–]NameUser18 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Pic ain’t there. Deleted?

        [–]Sendmoneytofly 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        Great guide man. Gotta remember to always LIFT to get them girls. Thanks for the guide!

        [–]simplisticallysimple 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        Amateurish. Sorry. You text way too much. Unnecessary. Also counter-productive.

        [–]Morphs_ 4 points5 points  (11 children)

        Did you have sex with all of them? Asking for clarity.

        [–]3itiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (10 children)

        Except #3 so far. Wonder why?

        [–]Morphs_ 37 points38 points  (6 children)

        I'm going to go ahead and assume the question is serious. Yes I have a good idea why. Basic premise is that you should be evoking emotions. So with everything you say or ask, wonder if that is able to spark some kind of emotion.

        • Ditch FORD asap. FORD is used for small talk with coworkers etc. It's terrible for building sexual attraction, especially family and occupation. Both dry up a chick very fast. Recreation and dreams are somewhat ok and can create positive emotions, if the conversation leads into it. Better is banter and finding some subjects you can have fun about, makes it much easier to lead into sexual topics (easier irl, and of course you want to meet up).

        • You ask a lot of questions, creating this interview style of conversation. This makes the conversation informational and thus void of emotion.

        • You steer the conversation into serious relationships, saying stuff about partnership and shared compromise. Why, are you really looking for an LTR? If not, don't say this stuff. Be honest and tell you're about sharing good times and not holding the other person down, if you're more into plating/FwBs.

        • Despite the safe slowtalk she agrees to meet up, but at the last moment you decide to sabotage the whole thing and think it's a good idea to hand over the leadership to her by giving your number. What is that going to accomplish? You already reeled her in for a date. Giving out your number is not a celebrity move or anything, but self-sabotage. Why do you stop leading? Yes it's 2018 and you STILL have to lead.

        I think #3 is a good example how it basically boils down to the guy. Sometimes you have a "bad" day with little inspiration to spark up a conversation and this happens, FORD and shit. I've had it happen too, shit happens to everyone.

        [–]3itiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I wasn't being serious but this is good read for others, thanks for trading your notes. I could have closed it 5 messages in, she was already invested

        [–]Evilence 1 point2 points  (4 children)

        Well are these claims backup by real-life examples? Because the way OP does his thing seems to be working for him.

        [–]Morphs_ 2 points3 points  (3 children)

        Yeah I've had these types of conversations myself and I would notice there wouldn't be a fun atmosphere, which is even noticeable on digital stuff like Tinder. If you've been running game in some volume you should have had similar experiences on average.

        A friend of mine had a short period where he thought it was cool to hand chicks his phone number. Not one reached out to him.

        Furthermore, most of this stuff is basic knowledge. Either through own experiences or through the sidebar or one of the many youtube video's on this subject.

        If anyone has contrasting experiences, I'll gladly read those of course.

        [–]Evilence 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Ok I see your point but in my opinion it's not the FORD that is the issue, it's how unemotional the talk is in general. Your second point is spot on, it shouldn't be an interview, the objective here is to create emotions so she's interested in meeting in person. However FORD type of conversation can also serve that purpose. The point is not to focus on the informational side of the conversation but rather on emotional side.

        [–]1KyfhoMyoba 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        If you know ANYTHING about NLP or Speed SeductionTM, then the O, R, or D are right in your wheelhouse. Either of these can be easily used to evoke and elicit emotional processes, link them to yourself, and ... PROFIT! E.g., " I was watching the Discovery Chanel the other day and they had on this guy who designed attractions [sp], or rides for amusement parks. I found it SO FASCINATING [sp], what a job! He said that the first thing you have to do design in an overall sense of safety [sp], you have to know that no matter what happens, YOU'RE GOING TO BE SAFE AND NOT GET HURT [op], but at the same time the rides got to BE EXCITING [sp] so that you want to TAKE THIS RIDE [dp] over and over again." You then go on to describe the physical sensations of riding a roller coaster, with sensory rich descriptions.


        [sp] = self point

        [op] = other point

        [dp] = dick point

        These "pointings" are to be subtle. You're not calling in an airstrike, it's supposed to be just noticeable - a quick gesture, not with an isolated index finger, but with the entire open hand. You know people that talk with their hands, right? Be one of them.

        [–]Evilence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yeah that's actually a really powerful technique once you get good at it

        [–]7mile_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        so you were able to close them both in the last couple days? Come on op you gotta be honest

        [–]OfficerWade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Textbook romantic conquests right there, I don’t care who you are that’s how it’s done.

        [–]starkmatic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Gosh haven’t been here in years. Stick with Trp for a while until you actually take the red pills fellas. Thanks to this place I’ve banged 14-15 girls in the last 2 years despite having 2 ltrs mixed in. This place changed my life no doubt.

        [–]rygy3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I love the last bit few sentences of this post. Thanks for reminding me you're my competition. I'm gonna go hit legs now.

        [–]dancingmaus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Its easy if you are average looking.

        [–]tayowsp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Good examples and advice if you can reliably get matches. OP, could you post a picture of you so that we can get an idea on how much looks impact your success here?

        [–][deleted]  (8 children)


        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        I don't know why you're being down voted. Online is definitely the worst option for men to get laid, even if you're attractive and have somewhat decent "text game" (as if that even matters).

        Women use it solely for validation and gathering social media followers (orbiters). Very few women use it for getting actual dates/sex and they'll likely be 2 - 3 points below your SMV. Every now and then you can pull a hot chick off online but that's rare and they're usually batshit insane. Bottom line is, game in real life.

        [–]Iwannachokekatie 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        Truly red pill... What's more red pill than securing yourself a semen receptacle for tonight while you take your morning dump?

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)


          [–]Iwannachokekatie 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          You can't read 48 laws of power and pull 8's WHILE taking a shit.

          [–]Andgelyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          100% feel the same way. SOD should be used as a LAST RESORT. All else should be day gaming/night gaming.

          [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          Dude I'm not top 5% and I've had some success on them. I'm probably like top 25% of looks. These things are true but exaggerated.

          [–]Valenx_Ackerman 1 point2 points  (3 children)

          I think that these apps are nothing but the pics. I've 2 friends with awesome pictures that get tons of laid, and it doesn't matter what they text, the girls filter is much wider than with normal guys, at least that's what I perceive. Then I've got just average/normal pics (im not fat/skinny, currently in shape) and got almost no matches or fatty/ugly girls, yet I get girls on night game/social circles. Whenever got a "normal" match, it doesn't matter what I say or not I'm discarded in the blink of an eye.
          Totally discouraged and burned with these apps, as some people consider for themselves night/pubs/club gaming useless (I don't. Just figured out reading stuff like "gaming at clubs is useless" over here), I think this kind of apps disgusting and a complete waste of time unless you look very good in your pics and get considered top of 5/10% of the guys over there, which is pretty difficult knowing that the guys/girls ratio is like 10:1 or something

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

          Even if you're good looking you'll still have a hard time converting matches to lays. Women use dating apps only for validation.

          [–]MajinJellyBean 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Yup. Which is why I stopped stressing it. Just using it now and then for fun. Not my main focus for meeting women.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It definitely shouldn't be - unless you're into dating landwhales.

          [–]TerryFin 3 points4 points  (6 children)

          You see dating apps as something that is in your interest, but you are just a consumer of fake promises here.

          Operators of dating apps are just for-profit companies and it's in their interest to keep you using the app as long as possible. They create a lot of fake profiles and even messaging bots that keeps you interacting and pay for services.

          This pretty much sums up the dating apps industry: https://twitter.com/HUSSY_io/status/1023375140313333761

          [–]4matting 5 points6 points  (1 child)

          For most guys, it's a colossal waste of time and money. For guys with great pictures, and witty texting skills, it's a good spot to go fishing.

          Went on a date with a 23 yr old HB10 this week, that I met on Hinge.

          Just don't spend more than 20 min of your day swiping profiles, and focus on your mission over texting.

          [–]HannibalBacara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Hinge is great because you get notification when someone likes your profile.

          [–]HannibalBacara 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Well now it's pretty easy to verify people because a lot of girls link their instagrams to the app.

          That being said I'm done with Tinder. It's become terrible now. You can blatantly see they use ELO ratings and stuff to keep you invested. Whenever I'd reactivate my account I'd get a ton of matches for a week then suddenly none. Bumble is a bit better in that regard, but I've mostly moved onto Hinge.

          I like Hinge because people appearing in your stack isn't a big deal because they get a notification when you like their profile.

          [–]Andgelyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Aware me on hinge? I’m looking at it on my apps and it says you have to pay for it

          [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

          Operators of dating apps are just for-profit companies and it's in their interest to keep you using the app as long as possible

          Wow you just described every business that provides useful goods or services to its consumers.

          "Amazon is just a for profit company and its in their interest to keep you using Amazon as long as possible."

          [–]MisplacedSanityP 0 points1 point  (4 children)

          When you say use professional photos, do you mean hire a professional photographer to take good pictures of you? Or do you simply mean get a nice camera to take pics with when you have a good opportunity?

          [–]3itiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

          Either work, but essentially use DSLR quality photos that are clearly not self shot.

          [–]BrownGummyBear 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          I disagree, I don’t think it’s necessary to get DSLR quality pictures. Most dating apps/websites will probably don’t use the full resolution of pictures taken with really good cameras. I think it just matters that the picture is good (not a selfie, well framed interesting picture), I don’t see how having more pixels will be helpful.

          Just my two cents.

          [–]A_Edgelord 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          The difference between smartphone-quality and DSLR-quality pictures has nothing to do with the number of pixels, but rather the size and power of the camera's sensor, which translates to more accurate colors, sharper images and much more.

          [–]BrownGummyBear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I see, the makes sense. I still think that a good shot on a crappy camera > a crappy shot in a DSLR

          [–]twdziki 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          I'm curious - how would you rate yourself appearance-wise?

          Also, nice one with the "it's 2018 you can text me first". Gives them what they want to hear (the fempowerment narrative) while at the same time escalating.

          Although, like others mentioned - I usually go with shorter messages. But hey, if it works, then it works.

          [–]3itiswr1tten[S] -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

          Handsome as fuck out of ten

          You should all feel this way

          [–]Iwannachokekatie 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          Why be dishonest? He's not after your dick, no need to treat it like a shit test.

          [–]grandmazboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I think you type too much. If it works for you great, but this is nothing like my style. Then again I don't really use dating apps.

          [–]ToryTosh1922 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Great post. It really hit home how important it is for me to become the best man I can be

          [–]keelo44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Looooooong ass text messages bruh, good convo but sometimes you gotta just read between the lines. I would’ve just said something minor to get a laugh then got straight to it, you can do all that talking in person.

          [–]hearse223[🍰] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Out of the 3 cases, was case 3 the easiest to meet because you already discussed so much on the phone?

          I feel like with case 1, you'd be going in blind.

          [–]Mukato 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          my read in case 1 is the easiest lay, case 2 is maybe a second date lay, and case 3 he won't ever get.

          [–]oytrp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          This is only an example of what a waste of time dating apps are.

          What OP calls a "hook" is really just him getting their numbers which is really no investment at all from them.

          Out of how many #s turn into dates? How many dates turn into lays?

          If you add that up and compare it to the hours spent "gaming" them via text, you realize how much of a waste this is.

          [–]MushroomTaco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          You text like you have autism.

          [–]LightofFate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I'm resentful. I get a match like every 50 swipes. Half of those will unmatch after what ever I open with. Only one girl has ever messaged me first. Same on Okcupid.

          It's so easy for everyone else but not me, makes me so mad. I could do this stuff easily if someone would actually talk to me.

          [–]Tdemps01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          This is to much OP. Women lost interest quickly on dating apps so dont go into a big long convo with them. I get straight to the point with meeting.


          When the say "how are you"

          I reply - "Just missing a little bit of [insert name here] in my life so could be better, yourself?

          After they respond just tell them "well my weekend plans now include you so make sure you keep your friday night free"

          If they are busy that night they will usually suggest another night. Then tell them 'swing me your number so we can make it happen". Then bam you got a number and you got plans. Takes 4-5 messages on average to set those two up. It's really not rocket science. Just be direct

          [–]Andgelyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          You are my competition, and I am either going to be at your level or greater than you.

          [–][deleted]  (3 children)


          [–]MrSittingBull 6 points7 points  (2 children)

          Would you rather go fishing with your hands in the middle of the Dead Sea or find a spot downstream of the Colorado with a large cast net?

          [–]PB0034 -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

          Poor analogy. You go outside in both.