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Building PowerBulletproof Mentality: How To Command Respect #2 (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Lendoran

After performing some massive changes to my business and project life, I am now earning more than I have ever earned in my entire life. My peak was during summer 2017 where I had multiple businesses, books, projects but after dropping half of them I have now surpassed that and so this post is something of a tribute.

Respect is the most powerful thing any male can have. It is arguably greater than power. People who respect you will be willing to do anything just because it involves pleasing you in any way possible. I have spoken before many times about how I mostly employ women but I always miss out the section of how I gained their respect. Let me tell you now, it is far easier to gain a man's respect than it is to gain a woman's. Men are logical and most often straightforward thinking. If you present them a situation, they will often see it and respect you for what you are doing or trying to do.

Women on the other hand are very wide. They have an innumerable amount of abundance mentality which makes them very specific in the choices they take. Though I was utterly terrible at this when I started, I have had to individually train up all of my girls to the point where they understand what kind of person I am.

My second closest girl who is one of my top artists and writer is a Russian girl who at the time of her employment was very desperate. She had no job and was barely surviving on art commissions. When I hired her she was completely devoted to gaining money and as such, she acted on her thoughts. Months went by with us working smoothly together until she started becoming more and more distant. Keep in mind that she is Russian citizen living in Russia being paid hundreds sometimes thousands of British Pounds. That was a ridiculous amount of money for someone doing very little. As such she began to disappear more, going on more vacations, ignoring my emails then increasing her prices. I was very new to this at the time so I let it continue until she just vanished for a number of months. She eventually returned, the process continued once more before she vanished again. This time I had gained a number of experiences and was now in contact with many different people who were much better than her and could replace her in every aspect. When she returned the second time, I firmly spoke to her about the situation explaining that I had zero interest in her behaviour. This was the first time and last time I ever saw her angry. She responded back, challenging me and seemed to be genuinely offended. I simply continued with my earlier statement and told her she could leave if she wanted. Of course she left only to return a month later. This is where the first rule comes in to play.

Pulling back always brings results

When she returned, she practically begged me for work. I agreed but told her that she would have to work for free while I deal with other workers. She instantly accepted and from that moment I understood that she was obedient. Artists are expensive and spend quite a lot of time working on their massive pieces. For good artists to accept work without payment, they would have to be either very desperate or very obedient. Since that day the girl and I have gotten closer and I have received many benefits from this. She understands that I could drop her at any time and in doing so, she reduced her prices ridiculously and allows me to pay her whenever I feel like it.

You need to put people in CHECK

In my local gym there is a man who is something of a celebrity. He has starred on a number of television shows and was even working on getting into one of the top reality drama series in the UK. He is an attractive guy who is very muscular. Prior to my self development and starting businesses, I used to be terribly jealous of him. Companies pay him to advertise their brands on his instagram, his parties were meant to be incredibly wild.

I won't spend much more time on this point but for perspective, the last time we met, he quite literally dropped all of his weights to come and give me a hug as though I were his brother. He asked me for tips with women, appearance and commonly invites me to hang out(I have never said yes).

All I did to achieve this was two things.

  • There is a girl in our gym who is very attractive. She is the type of girl who keeps to themselves and takes their lifting seriously. This girl quite literally has men parking their cars and crossing the street so that they can approach her. She also happens to be one of my close friends and is always by my side whenever I am in the gym and approaches me directly. The "celebrity" guy had been interested in her before I even joined the gym and was surprised to see her around me.

  • Whilst in the gym, I often stick to myself or sometimes with a lifting partner but despite that, I always have women approaching me for some reason. At least that is what it looks like from their perspective.

Now for those of you wondering how I managed to do that, all I did was approach these women at other times. I don't do any silly routines. If I see a woman I like, I approach her, talk with her for a little then get her details. The next time we meet in the gym, we will talk for a little and so the process continues until these women start approaching me. However from the perspective of someone who has never seen me do it, it may look like these girls are just approaching me randomly at will.

All I did in the above situations was making certain to pull back and challenge people. These two points can be used in dating situations, male situations and business situations.

"So how do I command respect if a person is massively above me?"

The things I wrote above clearly work well if the person you are discussing with is of equal, lower or slightly greater value than you. What if a person is ridiculously higher than you and has absolutely nothing to gain from associating with you?

In this scenario the person has to see your potential. Let me explain.

Last year before I took some months away from working on my projects I had contacted many big indie developers, big names and certain company leaders. I presented the idea of starting our own associate group together so that we can all do something to help one another. Now this was a very bold move. Compared to these people I was very small and had nothing to compare to them. At that point I was earning 1k per month whilst they were in the realm of 3 - 6k. Every single person I emailed accepted my request and joined the group whilst agreeing for me to be their general group leader.

Why did this happen? It happened because they could see my mindset.

This is a little known fact that mostly only successful and/or rich people understand. You can often talk to someone and find out if they will be successful in future simply down to the questions asked. I wrote a post about this referring to the idea of a "Group-like mentality".

Two people have the option to ask a millionaire a question.

Person A asks: "How do I do X so that I can achieve Y?"

Person B doesn't ask anything and just listens.

This video perfectly sums it up: https://youtu.be/HwXsFPZp3fQ?t=2m10s to 4.00

Gary asks the man what he wants to happen in future. The man then thinks about it and comes out with a textbook clean answer. He basically wants to have everything and has no idea where to start. You can see the confirmation of what I am talking about in Gary's facial expression. After the man has finished speaking he just says "cool" because he doesn't know what to say. Essentially the man gave a stock answer, he simply said what he assumed Gary wanted to hear. If you even continue to watch the video past the 4 minute mark, Gary goes on to tell him not to "front" in order to impress people. Just from watching that brief video I can almost tell you that the person asking Gary all those questions is not going to be majorly successful. By majorly I'm talking in terms of being on the multi-millionare level. The reason for this is that he already knows all fancy words and terms.

https://youtu.be/HwXsFPZp3fQ?t=1m16s

In the above section, Gary struggles to explain a concept to him whilst the guy tries to finish Gary's statement by suggesting that he was just "following his passion". Gary is thinking methods, the interviewer is thinking of all the words and statements he has previously heard on online motivational videos.

After watching and studying many successful individuals via videos and reading certain books, the one commonality is that they often ask less questions and just listen/observe the person talking. This isn't because they don't have anything to ask but because they can already figure out most things but just listening.

What do Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Dr Dre and Elon Musk all have in common? These men asked less questions and worked more. They all loved doing what they did and wanted to take it further creating something they believed was huge.

The only way someone of a much higher value will give you respect is if they can outright see from you that will improve sometime in the future.

Further examples: - If you noticed that a skinny guy has joined your gym recently but is always there from Monday to Friday and always has their protein pack and shakes. Compared to another skinny guy who is only in the gym on Mondays and seems to mess around every time he is there.

Both men are skinny and in the same level of value. Who are you more likely to respect?

Now for the one general rule that you should always keep in mind when interacting with anyone you meet; men, women, bosses, employees, post men etc. The one rule you need to keep in mind is that your words need to always mean something.

Your words and actions need to actually mean something. That is one of the strongest pieces of advice I can give to anyone here. Whether you are closing a business deal, seducing a girl or talking with your boss/employee.

Before my vacation I got in contact with a freelance worker who I wanted to create a few things for me. On his personal page he had listed that it takes 1 to 2 weeks to complete one piece of commission. After sending him the details, I specifically told him that I needed the work done by Friday. In the email I outlined that I had set a deadline for all my workers to finish their projects on Friday so that is when I needed his work to be done. I then added that I completely understood that if he was extremely busy and couldn't complete it.

He responded very quickly and explained that while he was very busy, he would make it a priority to finish the work by Friday. (3 days). He succeeded and even went over and beyond what I had actually asked him to do.

The reason my email worked was because I displayed three things. - Authority (The fact that I have employees) - Pressure (The fact that they all have a deadline) - Abundance Mentality (The fact that I wasn't begging him)

The abundance mentality section is most important. My email was very short and blunt, directly to the point. He knew for a fact that I meant every word of it - if he was not able to complete the task for the given day, I could replace him. He knew this.

For some resources I would highly recommend this site: http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/toc.html

The site covers every important aspect of the human body that you may not even consider. I would highly recommend reading through it to find something that helps you personally.

Lessons:

  • Pulling back always brings results - The person with the highest investment in an engagement holds the least power.

  • Check and Challenge people - TRP seems to have a better term for this; "Don't put people on a pedestal".

  • Your words and actions need to actually mean something. - Back to the situation above, imagine if after I emailed that man giving him a deadline of Friday he responded and told me that Friday was too soon and that I'd either have to wait or find someone else. Imagine if rather than leaving, I agreed to give him a longer period? If I did, he would immediately lose respect for me.


Business Advice:

A lot of people on this site often ask me for advice on starting a business, starting drop-shipping or following an idea they have. I will give one solid advice that should help anyone.

  • Do NOT quit your job.
  • If you don't have one, get ONE.
  • Work your job then work on your passion on the side.

Do you like playing video games? Find a way to make money from playing video games but do it in your own time.

There is literally no downside to this. If your passion starts to make money, you gain nothing but double income.

Off the top of my head, the "easiest" way to make money online is via Ebay Dropshipping but unless you sit down and treat that as an actual job, you will get sales every now and again. There are so many things you could get into; game development, writing, copy writing, creating apps, marketing, speaking, music etc etc. You just have to find it.

EDIT------

A few of the groups I mentor have recommended that I create some sort of blog where everyone can come and read what I have to say. I decided to also share it here.

https://absentmasculinity.com/

It's a basic WordPress blog with no bullshit popups, course nonsense or motivational speeches. I give methods not motivation. You won't find tips on how to text girls so if that is your interest, the blog won't be for you.

I should also add that this blog is partly catered to the groups I mentor in which I teach them ways to be successful and stand out from the crowd. You may find my terminology there to be a little harsher than it is here on Reddit. You are also free to contact me over there if you have any direct inquires.


[–]thirdincomestream 36 points37 points  (2 children)

that they often ask less questions and just listen/observe the person talking

This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Most competent people that I encounter tend to be short on words, but never on ideas. I was always taught to believe that asking questions was a good thing, but as it turns out, most peoples' questions are just requests to be spoonfed. It's a viscious habit to fall into, because you think you're doing right by being curious and engaged. In reality, you're far from it. Your brain is on autopilot and you're asking others to do all the thinking for you.

Observe, test, try to understand, and when you finally get stuck, then you research the shit out of it. If you still can't crack the nut, then you ask for guidance. That's how you show your potential, by being able to demonstrate a willingness to think on your own before asking for the answer.

[–]Lendoran[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Absolutely perfect, if there was a way I could highly this I would. It isn't even more so about asking questions but how you think.

The best example I could give is a child. If you ask a child to create a story off the top of their head, the child doesn't sit there and ask you what genre, style, setting the story is - they just go ahead and create a random story because their heads are buzzing with ideas. It isn't that successful people don't want to ask questions, they are just so overwhelmed with things they want to try that they don't feel like asking.

[–]thirdincomestream 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly. It's a tolerance for ambiguity that most people have trained out of them at a young age.

My biggest lesson in my career so far has been along these lines we're discussing... Not being afraid to make a mess in order to learn. Never being afraid of failure or a mistake. That there's a dignity in trying to figure it out on your own. That by taking something apart, forcing yourself into a situation where there is no other option but to put it back together again, you can learn a hell of a lot.

I think these lessons are really the core of what being an adult is about.

[–]FindTheBus 19 points20 points  (10 children)

"You need to put people in CHECK"

"paragraphs and paragraphs that don't have anything to do with putting people in check"

¯_(ツ)_/¯

[–]boy_named_su 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Think he was high on coke when he wrote this...

[–]Lendoran[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hahaha I drank a lot of coke that evening man.

[–]yahyasafe7 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Read attentively. He put the girl at the gym "in check" by keeping starting small talks everytime he goes to the gym. Eventually, she started exchanging small talks back, and guys thought she was approaching him. He put her in check and put the rest of guys in the gym in check by keeping initiating conversations every now and then.

It's a useful tool, but if overdone, it could be pushy.

[–]Lendoran[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

The girl in the gym isn't an issue. I'm honestly not interested in girls/seducing right now. My only focus is figuring out how to reach that millionaire mark. Once I've done that I can focus on the little things. You've perfectly got the other parts though, never overdo something.

[–]yahyasafe7 1 point2 points  (3 children)

That's a healthy thinking. I would suggest implimenting this tool in work. I know a girl, she's my friend's sister, and she hosted me for a couple of days in her apartment with her brother, and in the meantime, we talked a lot. She's the dominant type of girls, especially when it comes to work and organizing something (event, party...etc). I dunno if this would work for you, you have to score really high on dominance like she does, or at least possess enough confidence to give the dominance vibe, but she said that she was so dominant and authotarative with her colleagues and employees at work, that people started obeying her blindly. How did she achieve that? Ice-cold confidence + a really sickening bitch face. Anyways, let's not delve into her personality. She said that she noticed something was wrong with her colleagues and she asked for a feedback. They told her that she sounds so rigid and not open to cooperating. So since then, she started doing someting that gave the illusion that she actually gives a fuck about her employees/colleagues. She kept them in check by asking them every now and then, "How are WE doing?" Mark that inclusive "we". That's a very useful tool to dominate a situation that involves a number of people. While being in her apartment and going out with her couple of times, she keeps referring to the group as "WE". She kept us in check all the time. If we're drinking beer, "How do we find the beer? I actually like it" "Are we ready to get back home?" "Are we feeling okay?" And that kind of questions. I started doing this with my colleagues at work, and I should say that I have gained more confidence and respect from them. Colleagues who are equal or less than me lowkey look up to me and wait what I have in mind to say.

[–]Lendoran[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This hands down is one of the best posts I've read all week. That was absolutely brilliant. The "WE" aspect in such a little yet stupidly important thing. It's as important as using someone's name over the phone. It automatically removes the individuality aspect and makes it more into a group-like situation. Initially, her employees see her as the boss. If they make a mistake, they suffer on their own and if they succeed they succeed on their own. By adding the simple word "WE", she completely reduces that to a place of which they feel connected.

Wonderful, absolutely wonderful.

[–]yahyasafe7 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I remember a while back from an Evolutionary Psychology course I took at the university that humans are the only specimen on planet earth who are smart enough to make you think that society is "flat", while it is as hierarchal as typical feudal society back in the medieval ages. See, a very good example our professor gave us was, "Now, when the head of the university 'asks' for our approval, using words such as 'please' and 'would you kindly', we know that the matter is far from being a polite request. Rather a direct order straight from top to bottom and we can't pretty much negotiate it nor refuse it. This only humans can do. And we just happened to be smart enough to realize and act accordingly. But before, or even now, this tool has proven to be very useful to keep societies intact. Religions were based on this idea, that all humans are equal.... (I don't want to get into religion)" My friend's sister perfectly embodies this. She's putting this concept into motion using that inclusive "we", adding such immaculate impeccable body language. Probably I made a little mistake by describing her as "dominant" woman, I'm pretty sure she isn't. I'm positive her frame is as fragile as glass. But she somehow mastered the art of manipulation.

When this woman questions you something, even if it is a simple matter, day-to-day stuff, she legit looks into your fucking soul. I said it was sickening because eventually I found it very fucking repulsive. She had this fucking demeanor that made me self-conscious of everything I did while I was there (that's me losing frame but fuck it). I liked your "everything you say must mean something". This woman reached a level where she could readjust her body language, every minute detail of her face until her posture and gesticulations, to give the vibe that not only she means what she says, but staunchly believes in it and she is standing her ground no matter the fuck what. Probably years of insecurity about being driven all over the place led her to that (she later revealed that her parents were very authoritative with her and didn't pretty much let her do anything when she was young... So yeah.)

[–]Lendoran[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sort of thing requires a massive amount of skill. I'd honestly suggest that you watch this girl and pick up some behaviours from her, it seems like too good of an opportunity to miss up.

Such a brilliant post.

[–]Lendoran[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Haha I apologise, I get too focused on what I write that I just let myself fall deep into it. As long as you remember that one line though, you should be fine!

[–]markinsinz7 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I've been here a long time, like too long some 3 or 4 years. You are without a doubt in my top 3 contributors to this reddit. I am not quite sure how you became so aware of the inner workings of all this or whether were u ever a loser once yourself? But true hats off to you, your pieces so far are not some rehashed shit. I wonder what your story is, if ur like some 6ft jacked something and how u ended up here

[–]Lendoran[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Haha I am the only member of my family who isn't naturally what some would call an "Alpha". My high school days were spent playing Runescape. I am 6ft and muscular but none of that is important. I found the Redpill by absolute accident when researching a topic I wanted to write about. All I would suggest for anyone who wants to improve is to get into stoic mentality and work on something they love. It doesn't have to gain income straight away. If you like skating for fun, find a way to monetize that.

Mentality + Passion = Income + Fulfilment (And women if you care about that.)

[–]markinsinz7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha i always wonder if there is much of a difference between being 5ft8 and 6 feet. Most people cant tell the difference yet everywhere i go if the dude is 6ft n jacked he's slaying easy. I'm glad u found the redpill and have already contributed valuable insights. Curiously, just re read ur post and u mention that you dont say yes to the invites from that gym bro for his parties and stuff? Don't you think that comes off as rude/whatever. Or you dgaf because u r already so successful doing your own thing thereby you'll never have a favor or something to be gained from him. Or is it cause you see yourself as higher status thereby you dont worry at all if he develops animosity towards you just a tiny bit. Just checkin the thought process cause mine's clearly weak af

[–]ToryTosh1922 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Brilliant post. Thanks for sharing!

[–]xXSoroxXx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Great post. Naunce stuff that pays off dividends if done right.

[–]SpecOpsAlpha 1 point2 points  (2 children)

The ‘secret’ to gaining respect of others is to not care if other people respect you or not.

[–]Lendoran[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Definitely. But it's more than this. Unfortunately, if you are speaking to a person of higher status i.e in a job interview, if the person doesn't respect you or at least like you, that job is not going to go to you.

[–]SpecOpsAlpha -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If they don’t respect me or my abilities, then they wouldn’t interview me. I’m good at what I do; I wouldn’t WANT to work for someone who doesn’t respect that.

Talk to every person you meet as if that person wants to get something from you and is a conniving lowlife, and they’ll respect you (because 99.9% of the time, it’s the right attitude).

[–]z2a1-9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great post and advise as one must continually work to achieve success and obtaining respect goes a long way in achieving that.

[–]Zech4riah 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Newsflash: The celeb is trying to get to the girl through you

Newsflash2: The regulars will know that you are in the friendzone with the girls. Most irrelugar people will also evaluate interaction and notice that these people know each other and are having a friendly chat.

It's really rare that people think that girls just keep approaching and hitting on you unless you define saying high to a familiar person as an approach. Cmon, wake up dude. :D

Why the subtitle was "You need to put people in CHECK" and the example was some half-assed Chad gymdream instead of putting people in check? :E

Additionally why is this called "command respect". I'm not native english speaker so this may be a language thing but should the title of this post be more like "Earning respect through your actions and confidence"?

[–]Lendoran[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I absolutely love when people challenge my statements. I've said in my previous posts, if no one challenges what I say, then there was no point in me writing the post originally. You get an upvote from me man.

The main thing I am trying to convey in the gym situation is how you shouldn't place people on a pedastal. At my current state, I have zero interest in girls. Read my 3rd previous post, when I was at my peak, I held parties at large country houses, slept with girls from different backgrounds, wasted my time and money getting involved in all that sort of thing. Now that I'm back I have realised that it is not important in the slightest.

The point of my posts is NOT about women. I need you to seriously understand that. I have never and never will focus on women as a topic in any of my posts. I don't care about that sort of thing right now.

Putting people in check is a statement of how you should not treat people differently due to their status.

I hope that's clearer for you mate!

[–]Zech4riah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The point of my posts is NOT about women. I need you to seriously understand that. I have never and never will focus on women as a topic in any of my posts. I don't care about that sort of thing right now.

This part definitely did.

And yes, I agree with this but I'm not sure if it's putting people on check. It's just behaving like equals.

Putting people in check is a statement of how you should not treat people differently due to their status.

If someone tries to overstep you, then you need to put em into check but I guess the local celebs wasn't trying to use you as a doormat.

[–]Robster25 1 point2 points  (1 child)

In this scenario the person has to see your potential. Let me explain.

I have to disagree with you on this. They might see your potential and genuinely want to help you without getting something back. But mostly people think "what can that person do for me? How can I profit from working together with that person?"

Last year before I took some months away from working on my projects I had contacted many big indie developers, big names and certain company leaders. I presented the idea of starting our own associate group together so that we can all do something to help one another. Now this was a very bold move. Compared to these people I was very small and had nothing to compare to them. At that point I was earning 1k per month whilst they were in the realm of 3 - 6k. Every single person I emailed accepted my request and joined the group whilst agreeing for me to be their general group leader.

And that right here is the critical issue. Successfull people didn't get successfull, because they wanted to help other people in whom they've seen potential. If you haven't read Dale Carnegies "How to win friends & influence people" I would strongly advice you to read it.

[–]Lendoran[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep I completely see where you are coming from. This is just a fault of me explaining myself properly. A successful person(business environment) will only acknowledge you if they can blatantly see that you will soon reach them or perhaps even surpass them. As we speak I know three developer friends of mine who are on track to surpass me. There's absolutely nothing I can do about it, they picked a hot niche and are selling their products madly fast. They WILL surpass me, there is no doubt about that which is exactly why I have decided to keep in close contact with them. The weightlifting analogy I used above properly summarises the situation best.

"And that right here is the critical issue. Successfull people didn't get successfull, because they wanted to help other people in whom they've seen potential."

Haha I agree with you. I wrote a post about this entire topic.

How to win friends & influence people is the first book I ever read, it was certainly insightful.

[–]RedPilledRoaster 0 points1 point  (3 children)

How to command respect... hm..... LIFT!

[–]Lendoran[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You're on the right track but what happens if you end up being the smallest in the room? What about if the other guys in the gym are more attractive, bigger and richer than you? How would you make them respect you then?

The important thing is mindset. Master it and you're fine.

Good luck man!

[–]Leonidas_79 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ye you def don’t command respect

[–]aidscancerebola -1 points0 points  (0 children)

TLDR: Don't speak in platitudes.