My very own dear older brother has a girlfriend who he's been with for 4 years. She's a year younger than him and a sweetheart. He took her virginity when they met.
4 years with a girl, she isnt perfect but she loves you and treats you right. Fulfilling all your sexual needs and actualising all the conceots you've ever heard about a life partner and love.
Celebrated with you the highs and made you feel better during the lows. You can imagine how deep the oneitis goes.
Dopamine hit after dopamine hit after dopamine hit. Turns out the fantasy in your head doesn't exactly match reality.
My brother is quite popular and a natural alpha, as are all my brothers. But they aren't red pill, although they dont really need it. At least not like some of you here. Anyway he wasn't too loyal, and she harboured some resentment about it. Turns out she's done some cheating of her own(be prepared to reap what you sow). Not a lot of cheating but once is enough. Some girl who's interested in my brother made the wise decision of telling him exactly what his girlfriend had been up to while he was drunk at a party. Apparently its something of an open secret. Before this he had no idea.
His girlfriend is at the party too, he confronts her. He grabs her, spills her drink. I have to manhandle him away from her before he makes a bad situation worse. He's pissed so I let him go and he starts to look for the guy she fucked. He is an old friend of the family. Been friends since we were tiny. His little brother is one of my best friends. Guess that's the way it goes. He's really scared. My brother and his best friend are pissed and so am I, and so is our other brother. But my brother keeps calm and says he just wants to talk to him. The other guy hesitantly agrees. Apparently they've just kissed, it's a lie and a cowardly one but my brother knows that it confirms everything. He let's the guy go and walks out.
Me, my other brother and my brothers best friend follow him.
We find him breaking down.
The brother in question is adopted. His parents died tragically when he was a boy and my parents took him in. He knows pain. I love him very dearly. He was completely heartbroken. Angry, confused and hurt. There are no set of words me or my brother or his best friend could have told him that would've made him feel better. But we tried. I told him that he should take it one day at a time, our brother told him to count his blessings and his best friend just held him.
Life is long and can get difficult. Happiness is not meant to last, if it did it would not feel that good after a while. The purpose of your life should be something that you decide on your own. But don't center it around your own ego. Don't center it around things you're invested in because they make you feel good. Like girlfriends or money. If you do then you're bound to have a very deep personal crisis sooner or later. Personally I think the purpose of life is to just be alive and experience things. I believe we are all simply an expression of God or the Universe.
Pain comes. It's inevitable. Thank God my brother knows this and hasn't tried to hurt her or himself or others because of what happened like some lost men do. Thank God he has some caring brothers and a strong father. Unlike a lot of men today.
Pain like happiness, does not last.
Don't get caught up in things that have happened to you. Good or bad. Move on.
Keep doing you. But it can never be technical. We aren't machines. You will feel the pain, and you're meant to. Grit your teeth and push through when you have responsibilities and people who look up to you. But when you can emote, let go. It's not good to keep things inside where they can fester. Like waste, get rid of it. This is why a strong inner circle is important. Dealing with pain is much harder alone but still doable.
My brother is a man. He's down but he's not out. He's still going. He hasn't let this do any more damage than it already has.
1.Bad things happen, it's not the end of the world.
2.Be prepared for rainy days. They Will Come.
3.Dont fight the pain, you are not a machine.
4.Deal with the pain in ways that do not harm you or your image. Have a close circle or a release.
5.There is no magic set of words. Just take things one day at a time.
6.Be there for your brothers. No man is an island.
7.Count your blessings.
8.Take things one day at a time.
9.Do not seek happiness as your purpose, it is fleeting. Do not fear pain for the same reason.
Edit: Post is about dealing with pain. Not about whether or not my brother is a good person or how to make sure someone doesn't cheat.