MetaPain (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by killermike-el-P

My very own dear older brother has a girlfriend who he's been with for 4 years. She's a year younger than him and a sweetheart. He took her virginity when they met.

4 years with a girl, she isnt perfect but she loves you and treats you right. Fulfilling all your sexual needs and actualising all the conceots you've ever heard about a life partner and love. Celebrated with you the highs and made you feel better during the lows. You can imagine how deep the oneitis goes.

Dopamine hit after dopamine hit after dopamine hit. Turns out the fantasy in your head doesn't exactly match reality. My brother is quite popular and a natural alpha, as are all my brothers. But they aren't red pill, although they dont really need it. At least not like some of you here. Anyway he wasn't too loyal, and she harboured some resentment about it. Turns out she's done some cheating of her own(be prepared to reap what you sow). Not a lot of cheating but once is enough. Some girl who's interested in my brother made the wise decision of telling him exactly what his girlfriend had been up to while he was drunk at a party. Apparently its something of an open secret. Before this he had no idea.

His girlfriend is at the party too, he confronts her. He grabs her, spills her drink. I have to manhandle him away from her before he makes a bad situation worse. He's pissed so I let him go and he starts to look for the guy she fucked. He is an old friend of the family. Been friends since we were tiny. His little brother is one of my best friends. Guess that's the way it goes. He's really scared. My brother and his best friend are pissed and so am I, and so is our other brother. But my brother keeps calm and says he just wants to talk to him. The other guy hesitantly agrees. Apparently they've just kissed, it's a lie and a cowardly one but my brother knows that it confirms everything. He let's the guy go and walks out. Me, my other brother and my brothers best friend follow him. We find him breaking down.

The brother in question is adopted. His parents died tragically when he was a boy and my parents took him in. He knows pain. I love him very dearly. He was completely heartbroken. Angry, confused and hurt. There are no set of words me or my brother or his best friend could have told him that would've made him feel better. But we tried. I told him that he should take it one day at a time, our brother told him to count his blessings and his best friend just held him.

Life is long and can get difficult. Happiness is not meant to last, if it did it would not feel that good after a while. The purpose of your life should be something that you decide on your own. But don't center it around your own ego. Don't center it around things you're invested in because they make you feel good. Like girlfriends or money. If you do then you're bound to have a very deep personal crisis sooner or later. Personally I think the purpose of life is to just be alive and experience things. I believe we are all simply an expression of God or the Universe.

Pain comes. It's inevitable. Thank God my brother knows this and hasn't tried to hurt her or himself or others because of what happened like some lost men do. Thank God he has some caring brothers and a strong father. Unlike a lot of men today. Pain like happiness, does not last. Don't get caught up in things that have happened to you. Good or bad. Move on. Keep doing you. But it can never be technical. We aren't machines. You will feel the pain, and you're meant to. Grit your teeth and push through when you have responsibilities and people who look up to you. But when you can emote, let go. It's not good to keep things inside where they can fester. Like waste, get rid of it. This is why a strong inner circle is important. Dealing with pain is much harder alone but still doable.

My brother is a man. He's down but he's not out. He's still going. He hasn't let this do any more damage than it already has.

Lessons: 1.Bad things happen, it's not the end of the world. 2.Be prepared for rainy days. They Will Come. 3.Dont fight the pain, you are not a machine. 4.Deal with the pain in ways that do not harm you or your image. Have a close circle or a release. 5.There is no magic set of words. Just take things one day at a time. 6.Be there for your brothers. No man is an island. 7.Count your blessings.
8.Take things one day at a time. 9.Do not seek happiness as your purpose, it is fleeting. Do not fear pain for the same reason.

Edit: Post is about dealing with pain. Not about whether or not my brother is a good person or how to make sure someone doesn't cheat.

[–]confusedguy911911 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Best thing he could have done is walk away good for him.Beating the other guy up would have just got him legal issues and prolonged this sad adventure .As for a man breaking down , I’d bet at some point we’ve all been there it’s nothing to me ashamed of.Ultra hard ass no emotions alpha of the universe stuff is a myth , only psychopaths feel nothing .

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Psychopaths feel little emotion, sort of like shallow water. They dip their toes in it, just enough to make use out of it. To manipulate people. To see how the emotion makes them feel, so they know how the other person will feel. And then take advantage of that.

[–]Disobedient_Citizen1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Psychopaths feel very strongly for themselves, its everything else they feel nothing for

[–]MurkyArtichoke 22 points23 points  (2 children)

So your brother was cheating on this girl aswell, since you said "anyways he wasn't too loyal"? So he breaks down when his girl has had enough of his bullshit? Seems fair.

[–]killermike-el-P[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You reap what you sow. It's not the point of this post. However this isn't the point of this post.

[–]killermike-el-P[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You reap what you sow. It's not the point of this post. However this isn't the point of this post.

[–]theDenverNugget 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Like you said reap what you sow.

[–]killermike-el-P[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

True. Post is more about dealing with pain.

[–]NormalAndy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"When you're going through hell, keep going."- Winston Churchill.

[–]donkeypunchapussy 9 points10 points  (10 children)

I hope he dumped her, once a cheater always a cheater. If the guys a friend I hope your brother knocks his teeth out like he deserves.

[–]killermike-el-P[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Of course he dumped her. He's not red pill but he's far from a beta. Knocking teeth out feels good....in the moment.

[–]trpboy123 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Mate, he's red pilled without knowing it. You don't have to subscribe to this sub to be redpilled.

[–]Omnibrad 8 points9 points  (6 children)

If the guys a friend I hope your brother knocks his teeth out like he deserves.

Over a woman? Not worth it.

[–]donkeypunchapussy -3 points-2 points  (5 children)

Ya it is, that piece of shit broke the bro code,

[–]Omnibrad 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I would thank him for showing his true colors, before removing him from my life. But if you want to go spend a long, drunk night in jail then that will give you plenty of time to think about how far you’ve strayed from your mission.

[–]donkeypunchapussy -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Then he gets beat twice, once for being a douche, and once for not taking his beating like a man and being a rat.

[–]politisch_inkorrekt 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Who believes in a bro code?

[–]donkeypunchapussy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Friends do, well ones born before the 1990's it seems. Having loyalty and honor seems to be a thing from the past.

[–]juliusstreicher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm always down with a violent solution to a problem, but to me, the wife is the malefactor in this situation.

[–]purduered 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why so he can be more of a loser? He’s throwing a little tantrum over a chick and completely lost frame. Fighting some guy to make him feel good and maybe obtain some honor will display how easy it is to manipulate him because he’s just venting his emotions. Just reject him and cut all ties. Brother needed to get knocked down a peg, because like a lot of guys on here he still hasn’t swallowed the pill. You can’t just be a mega alpha, and everything always goes your way. You can’t expect to fuck around on your chick and expect her to not do the same. That’s besides the fact, that she’s not yours, it’s just your turn. OP probably sees this and is why he keeps saying he’s not RP, although he can obviously pull women.

[–][deleted]  (9 children)


[–]Vakleri 3 points4 points  (7 children)

This is the key takeaway from an event like this. So many people chose to use that betrayal and anger and use it on others just enacting a vicious cycle. Just because AWALT doesn't mean you should be proud of cucking a blue pill.

[–]Disobedient_Citizen1 1 point2 points  (6 children)

You speak from an empathetic position in that you were once blue pill and would not want to be cucked. However, TRP philosophy is amoral, logical. Not to forego emotion but to achieve control over it. AWALT being the constant it is, if you dont get cucked how would you ever awaken to realise thar your bliss was willful ignorance.

If you fuck a girl with a boyfriend it is not your respobsibility to maintain her relationship, or respect her promises to her boyfriend, it is hers.

[–]Vakleri 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Urgh this is the worst mentality to have, it is your responsibility because it's your dick. A good analogy is when your dog shits on a someone's lawn whose fault is it? Well it's the dogs isn't it? He shat on the lawn it's his problem. Oh wait he's your dog you have responsibility over it and his actions therefore when the owner of that lawn comes out pissed off can you blame him?

It's none of this amoral bullshit people peddle so they can get their dick wet without them having to actually think about the consequences of their actions. Fucking man up stop acting like it's solely her fault when the blame lies with you too.

[–]Disobedient_Citizen1 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Your analogy is lazy and saturated with emotive language. One cannot compare human sociology with dogs shitting on lawns. Neither dogs nor plants have any concept of responsibility, dogs obey only instinct.

[–]Vakleri 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I think you don't understand the analogy. The dog is your dick (works mostly on instinct) you are the owner of the dog (the one with responsibility) , the lawn is the woman (the place the dog wants to deficate) and the owner of the lawn is the angry man (who is pissed that you shat on their lawn). It's not perfect it does somewhat take away the responsibility of the woman which is not intended but it was more meant to show the responsibility you're meant to have in where you put your dick.

And taking an analogy literally kind of misses the point of why they exist as a literal device.

[–]Disobedient_Citizen1 0 points1 point  (2 children)

An analogy is a figurative description of the literal. To clarify, the literal is the source and the figurative is but a decription of it.

You are using exagerated figurative euphemism to water down the literal and replace the literal with the watered down version. Lets bring focus back on the literal shall we?

If your neighbors girl is willing to cheat on him with you, it is not your reaponsibility to maintain his relationship with his girlfriend or his girlfriends relationship with him. You can of course choose not to fuck her based on your moral standards but even if you do decide to fuck her, it is not your responsibility to lecture her about her moral standard.

Do not take responsibility for what others are meant to maintain.

[–]Vakleri 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yes you almost get it, you have the choice more often then not to fuck her. Therefore you have responsibility and agency for your actions and the consequences of said actions. If you're fine with fucking another man over because he shacked up with some who doesn't give a shit then to me you are immoral. Now of course should you have no idea that there is a boyfriend and she has told you she doesn't have one then that is a totally different story.

Stop facilitating fucking over your fellow man and we all might get along better.

[–]Disobedient_Citizen1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you were to reject her advances you should do so for your own peace of mind and not to protect another mans emotions or false bliss. You would be directly strengthening his belief in false happiness and delusion. This in my eyes is immoral and the basis of the modern so called weak male epidemic.

If you want to help your fellow man be an example of utter strength, be aligned with actual reality, be responsible for yourself and never allow others to rub their responsibility onto you, be as fair as chance is to the gambler.

Being social beings we base our social well being on emotional comfort and empathy, what we call morality. However we can not impose our social reality on actual reality, that is fantasy and a recipe for weakness. Go against mother nature you always lose.

[–]killermike-el-P[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These things happen. I'm glad you rose above it. My brother shall too.

[–]CalvinRichland 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Thats a lot of words for "two people treated eachother shitty and are both cheaters"

[–]killermike-el-P[S] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Post is more about dealing with pain.

[–]CalvinRichland 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Ok i guess i got confused. Seems more like dealing with consequences to your own actions.

[–]killermike-el-P[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He is dealing with the consequences of his own actions. But the post focuses on pain.

[–]killermike-el-P[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is dealing with the consequences of his own actions. But the post focuses on pain.

[–]Manosaurus 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thank you for your post. Really needed it today

[–]killermike-el-P[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the impact I was looking for. You alone make the entire post worth it. If you're going through hell, keep going.

[–]Icarus663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your brother is very lucky. If he learn the real lesson here, pain will be worth

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The power of now is a good book for dealing with pain.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–]killermike-el-P[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not worried to that extent. But I'm keeping an eye on him.