Field ReportFR: Crabs in a bucket mentality - Don't change. You're already great. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by awakenedspirit1


The changes have started, and one of my old best friends confronted me. Telling me I don't need to change. The world where girls just throw themselves at high SMV guys isn't real.


Spent the weekend at a bachelor party in Charleston, SC. Highly recommended as a good location to pick up.

We spent the day doing water sports and partnered up with a bachelorette party.. A girl from the party (who was married) picked me out saying "you're really hot." She had good bantering skills, and we flirted most of the day. This is a nice ego boost as I still feel the lingering pangs from my old oneitis (never again).

In the evening we went to a club in town. I isolated her from the group. Things progressed where I said "Listen, we better stop hanging out or I'm going to put you in a compromising position." She said "Yeah. You're probably right." (make out)

Ethically I'm conflicted. There are enough single girls out there and I don't have to hook up with the married ones. She's hot, and throwing herself at me. Decisions, decisions.

I take her back to the group. Doesn't really feel like a turn on for me anymore.

However, this field report is not about her. It's about my best friend from college.

We get back to the AirBnB and hang out a bit. He confronts me and says "Listen. I know you've been doing a lot of reading. Dominance, and all that stuff. I just wanted to let you know, smart girls don't like that."

This is incredible to me. I've been pretty consumed with the materials here, and it must be leaking. I do my best not to talk about fight club.

"I know you have a start up, and you're hanging out with some models out in LA [I work with fitness models in my start up]. That life, that's not real life. Smart girls, quality girls, want an equal partner. They want someone who communicates openly and rationally. You're already a great guy. You're great with girls. Everyone I know loves you. Everyone says you're the nicest guy. And a good girl, a quality girl, will recognize that."

I am blown away. It's like watching a movie in slow motion

"Yeah man. I know I'm a nice guy. And I love being nice. But have you heard the expression that nice guys finish last?"

"Yes. But they finish first in the end. And quality girls know that. That last girl you dated, that's on her man. Not on you."

"But doing the same thing over and over will get you the same results right?"

"Naw man. You just got unlucky. You're a great guy man."

He's right about that. I am a great guy. And now I'm going to be an attractive guy too :)


I will need to be even more conscious of my words around my old friends going forward. More about this friend of mine: he doesn't work out, cohabitates with his HB 6 LTR, makes a ton of money in NYC in real estate finance. We're both 35. I intend to see the world that's "made up." Let's go.

[–]strikethrough123 180 points181 points  (17 children)

The closest people to you eventually end up dragging you down when they start seeing you do better than them. These people are people that you grew up with, got close to, and shared life experiences with. They already put you in a box, they don't want to see you escape it.

I've had to drop countless friends because of this, even family. Don't let anyone get in the way of your progress, only you have your best interest at heart.

[–]NorthEasternNomad 36 points37 points  (4 children)

Not to mention, if you do better through sheer effort, that means that their failure to do better isnt just bad luck. It's on them, and their lack of effort. They dont like that, and will absolutely try to drag you down to their level, to avoid this ugly realization.

Source: the moment my fiance and I start dropping weight and looking good, her overweight mom and sisters start harping on our being too skinny and starving ourselves. All because they know deep down that with effort, they could achieve the same, and just choose not to.

Tl:dr: those close to you, would often choose to drag you down, as opposed to seeing their lack of effort contrasted with the success your own efforts achieved.

[–]TheLanternFlame 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Same with my parents, whenever they see me doing intermittent fasting, they'll be like, "are you killing yourself? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" I'll reply with, "Nah, that's old school shit, that even the government has no valid proof to prove." Then they shut up about it and shit test me another way around.

[–]NorthEasternNomad 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My mom used to give me shit for working out "too much." You're doing it because it attracts women, she would claim.

Well, yeah. Among other reasons, of course that's a factor. Hardly the only one, but a good.one.

In fact she just didn't like to see effort succeed, because it made her lack thereof look bad.

[–]Sumsar01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Intermittent fasting is a shitty way of cutting though. It has not intrinsic benefits and just lowering calories has higher compliance. Doesn't sound as cool though.

[–]DancesWithPugs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Validate my denial by living poorly"

[–]StimulusPackageOne 27 points28 points  (1 child)

This comment has more juice and is more interesting than the original post.

[–]mugatucrazypills 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A prophet is only without honor in his native land. Be excellent and quality people from the wider world will be drawn to you because you bring value, meaning and even joy to their lives and vice-versa. Unfortunately, you're going to see a significant portion of your friends and family can't make the journey, mostly they'll just blow themselves out of your lives. Expect to lose 60% of your social network every 7 years or so. It's okay; They're making room for better people.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]strikethrough123 21 points22 points  (1 child)

    That's why you drop them and start fresh. It's difficult as fuck, I know, but you have to do it. By the time they hit you up again your past self and old habits are too far gone.

    I had an old girl "friend" that friendzoned me back in the day. She saw me working out, getting ripped, getting financially stable, and all of a sudden she hits me up. We hang out, she says "you're more superficial now", "I liked the old you better", she then blows me later that day.

    If you ever do reconnect with some of your old "friends", you'll see that they're still the same. Doing the same shit and talking about the same shit. You'll see how far you've grown then.

    "The way a life done changed while primitive minds are still stuck in the same game." -IT

    [–]iamanalterror_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Aye. I like to think of it as a sign you're moving up in the hierarchy. People are hostile to you because you no longer fit in to that hierarchy.

    [–]Gamelova 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    It's better to have only one friend that will support you for a lifetime, rather than many, that will later on drag you down as you become more successful.

    [–]AltBuzzer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yep, that's why I left my hometown.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Family will cuck you. Friends will cuck you. Girls will cuck you. You, have the choice. Cuck yourself, or uncuck yourself. Own your life, or get owned by life.

    [–]saganist91 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Don't let anyone get in the way of your progress, only you have your best interest at heart.

    Doesn't matter if they are family members. Besides, sharing the same "blood" does not always unfortunately mean family. Your true family is those people around who support you, won't backstab, are loyal, help you build up, help you find your calling/profession and become successful, prosperous in your own unique (hopefully legal) way and are there for you in tough times. Those are your brothers and sisters and you should let them know how much their support matters to you. Sometimes ideas can unite even more than blood, not to say that blood doesn't matter, of course it does. Few things are as sad than if ideologies tear families or nations apart. Shared values, even just a few of them, are so important. There is always common ground to be found.

    [–]strikethrough123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I agree. Family is a double edged sword. Unity is a good thing, but sometimes what it means to be in that unit is to sacrifice a portion of yourself to that whole. For me, that portion is success by my own hands and the opportunity to build something for myself. It's a hefty price to pay.

    [–]wataDs 67 points68 points  (8 children)

    "Yes. But they finish first in the end" lol. Hes got a point yknow. First to finish raising all of her little illegitimate children.

    I shit you not a year ago my own mom was telling me to stop working out. Just the other day she started laughing to me about how "noodly" my arms used to be. Why could that be? They fear of the unknown?

    [–]ahab_dies 39 points40 points  (4 children)

    Because deep down all these people know they need men married and working for a mortgage for everyone else to survive.

    When men go TRP they shake off being a slave to everyone else.

    [–]wataDs 12 points13 points  (2 children)

    The two arent mutually exclusive. Trp philosophies are tantamount to a productive and smooth ltr.

    [–]ahab_dies 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    A productive and smooth LTR on your terms, yes.

    [–]red_philosopher 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    A productive and smooth LTR for you. Not for anyone else. TRP is a grave threat to the societal engine.

    [–]awakenedspirit1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It's also just the ego investment into Blue Pill thinking. The way life "should be". I still remember...

    [–]Arnold889 11 points12 points  (2 children)

    What the hell is with that? My mum hated me growing muscly. It only spurred me on to keep getting bigger

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]Scorptice 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      My mom actually lifts with me and mires my gains but that's an Exception I guess

      She is also getting remarks by her fat co-workers that she got so 'skinny' (read lean and muscular). They also believe she is just running on the treadmill for hours even though she lifts weights.

      So yeah... pretty much everyone is a crab in the box

      [–]DareyFathom 36 points37 points  (1 child)

      I tell very few friends about my "independent thinking" unless I trust them completely. It's not only a lost cause in converting them, they'll call you out on it and become counterproductive to your efforts. Just tell them you're doing what you believe to be in your best interest.

      [–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 35 points36 points  (1 child)

      Please right a follow up report where his sex life begins to dry up, his LTR starts to dominate the "equal" relationship. Oh and don't leave out the part where he finds her gagging Fillipo the ripped pool boys cock while he was away on business. Nice guy.

      [–]zestytacoz 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      But she'll come back to him to keep the relationship going, so who's the real winner huh??

      [–]Sac_fo_dayz 33 points34 points  (1 child)

      This reminds me of the last little piece of life advice my grandfather gave me over 13 years ago before he died of cancer:

      “People will forgive you for anything except having more than them.”

      If people around you see you kicking ass, surpassing your limits, and in general just being awesome, they are reminded of just how mediocre they are. They project their own inadequacy onto you with their comments about how you used to be, how you’ve changed, etc. They see you as a threat and passively try to bring you down.

      Don’t let them. Transcend them.

      [–]TheBigHorse420 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      This was a good chuckle heheh

      Kinda Feels bad for your friends future though :/

      Ooohhhhhh billlyyyyyy

      [–]jonpe87 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Once you begin to improve people fear that you will have the success that they don't have. My own father is telling me that I'm getting to strong. I laugh and say that I'm not even close to my objective.

      [–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      I can't help but roll my eyes at people that say what OP's friend did. Master degrees, PHDs, doctors, lawyers, waitresses, strippers, it works on all of them. High IQ girls tend to respond better because they're so not used to a dominant man and their vagina loves it. No matter how smart her brain is it always takes advice from her pussy.

      [–]Red_Faust 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Some high IQ girls have melted by seeing me as a dominant and high IQ man. As like, they usually have to choose either one. Having both traits, i.e. being a smart alpha, is a very rare combo.

      Of course if you have to choose between showing alpha behavior and being smart, it's better to show alpha behavior.

      In fact, it's even better to hide how smart you are until after you have had sex. Because some girls instinctively associate "smart" with "beta", so at the beginning it's useful to downplay this.

      But later on, say in a MTLR, having both traits it's a killer combo. Add the gym physique and the intense sex sessions to the mix. They realize they have an unique specimen and they try to hold onto you even without monogamy on the table.

      [–]Zech4riah 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      She tries to keep you beta. Betas have their own special place in the eyes of a woman.

      [–]Banned-in-Boston 12 points13 points  (4 children)

      When a good friend has "the talk" with you about how women like nice guys, simply respond with, "Not all people and women are the same. I'm interested in women who prefer to be led by a decisive, compentent man. That is my goal, to become a valuable man like that. Your goals may differ."

      [–]Cgbgjr 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      How about agree and amplify: "You are correct, and women really love nice guys who stay with them if they get fat and ugly, cheat, etc....."

      [–]ThrowFader 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Or rather just nod and smile.

      Keep it stupid simple

      [–]Demiurge_Decline 11 points12 points  (5 children)

      He does not seem to have malice in his heart. In his mind, seems he thinks you are acting out because you were badly hurt by your last LTR. I am not saying he is right, I am saying that if he knows you, he may be seeing a part of you that you dont recognize. Be careful in letting the red pill move you away from who you are.

      The adjustments are to manage other people, women, men, life, but they are not meant to make you a worse person. Not saying you are but do not be led by your heart, especially if it is cracked from hurt. Be led by your mind. Rational. If you are truly having fun and living the life, and you are free, then so be it. But if you have an inkling that you are acting or you are protecting yourself from hurt, you are doing it the wrong way... It will combust.

      [–]NeedingAdvice86 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      In a sense, I think that this comment has merit in that the Op was blind to his own behavior with the married chick but his friend saw him messing around with a girl who they knew was married and he likely was surprised or wary of that his "nice" friend had changed to doing such things when in the past he would have stayed away....

      Not making a comment on the rightness or wrongness of fucking the married chick <the girl was an obvious slut> but only that this may have lead the friend to speak out.....and honestly this doesn't seem to be about your "improvement' or words but rather your actions in some way.

      Are you going around openly slamming women? Are you dictating proper behavior based on your new found knowledge? It is easy to become sort of a smug, know-it-all bitch in making the transition before calibrating back to a more balanced superior man. Is he telling you not to workout, lose weight, read new books, start a profitable business, try new things, get up earlier, work harder, be more disciplined? Those are actually crab in the bucket things and things which have actually happened to me.

      [–]awakenedspirit1[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      I was definitely blind to his perception of my change. And this is likely due to the fact that when I first discovered TRP, I was so excited to share my knowledge. Felt like discovering plutonium. I dialed it back a lot since the beginning as I know lots of these are inconvienient truths.

      [–]_Last_Man_Standing_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      this is how I made my sister RP woman... lol...

      I had to talk about it with someone... I just had too... and being very close with my sis I started talking with her...

      she confirmed a lot of the RP theories... and became more RP aware than any woman I know...

      she her self says it changed her outlook... and that shes benefiting from the RP knowledge in her relationship..

      so she was mostly supportive... (even when she wasn't there would be a nice discussion)

      [–]blkMGTOW07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I see the value in this comment thanks

      [–]awakenedspirit1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      100%. And I'm not going to say that part of me isn't still healing from the oneitis psychological experience. But, once you see the red pill, it is "obvious." It's kind of like evolution. It just clicks.

      [–]woodquest 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Confirmation bias.

      Internalizing that notion can help tremendously one's understanding of the world as it is, and pick up the good fights.

      [–]warthundersfw 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      True friends are happy to make you be better. Fake friends go full crab bucket. Sometimes they’re in the same pool of friends and you hear of social battles between them about keeping you in the group

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–]awakenedspirit1[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      +1. He'll admit he's "not that attracted to her." Staying with her due to comfort.

      [–]volvostupidshit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Dude, save him before he gets too comfortable on her and become codependent. And you know what happens when a guy has become codependent with a woman, he gets clingy. Then boom, she will run away from him faster than a leopard. But on hindsight, that is gonna give him a big lesson in life.

      [–]Disobedient_Citizen1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      People are as social beings adapted not only to maintain repetition, but also to be hostile towards anything that deviates or diverts from it usual path.

      Those who are acquainted with you are aware of you rank among the social hierarchy, if you are actively becoming more dominant they will naturally as a group attempt to bully, manipulate and even sabotage you back into your place. This is especially true if you were previously lower then them in the rankings.

      Ive seen extreme versions of this, my own observational theory is that it is a natural defence against any form of deviance which may upset already established social balance.

      [–]2chazthundergut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Actually I don't think this particular case is crabs in a bucket.

      Sometimes our closest guy friends see us totally for who we are, and can see clearly the gold in us. I know I feel this way about my best friend. I know what a stud he is, just the way he is, and that he is enough just as he is to pull any woman on the planet. If I didn't know TRP and I was still plugged in, and I saw him changing in ways that seemed destructive, I would probably have said the same exact thing.

      I think your friend just knows you got hurt by the last bitch and doesn't want you to turn into an asshole.

      What he doesn't realize is that in order for you to be the genuine nice guy that he knows you are, you must first embrace your shadow side. You must learn how to set and enforce boundaries, prioritize your own happiness, and treat women like the capricious machiavellian sluts that they are.

      [–]Pink-Heart 7 points8 points  (21 children)

      Is everyone over 30 yo here ?

      [–]NormalAndy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Mostly seem to be college age.

      [–]ahab_dies 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      29 yo but 30 in November reporting

      [–]DareyFathom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I'm 35.

      [–]blkMGTOW07 1 point2 points  (0 children)


      [–]EdAnt 0 points1 point  (5 children)

      Everyone knows the best advice comes from 20 year olds... Don't trust anyone over 30.

      [–]BloodSurgery -1 points0 points  (4 children)


      [–]EdAnt 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      I was being sarcastic. Age and wisdom go hand-in-hand.

      [–]ThrowFader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Haha only the fool has a monopoly on wisdom

      [–]moltenw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      No denying in that, but using only age as the reason why you have wisdom is stupid as well.

      Example : stupid parents who actually have no clue about a certain thing but tell you to listen to them because you aren't old enough.

      [–]RedPilledGodEmperor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I'm 27

      [–]clausternn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      27 checking in. Wish I was here 5 years ago. Sadly I actually knew about TRP back then, just chose not to partake in it. Silly me.

      [–]woodquest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Lol so many little brothers

      [–][deleted]  (5 children)


        [–]JosephBosa 0 points1 point  (4 children)

        Yea I was pretty red pilled in most areas of my life looking back on it. Thanks to TRP I turned my blue pilled parts into red, almost 100% now.

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)


          [–]JosephBosa 1 point2 points  (2 children)

          I am not going to brag too much here but I rate myself physically as a 9.5, raised by alpha dad. Im a natural leader thanks to my dad. In other words, I had a natural abundance pulling girls, so anytime i was disrespected i ghosted them or their shit tests didnt phase me because deep down i knew i could get another one. This was the core part of me that was red pilled.

          The blue pill part was that I used to believe in love, the type you hear about in love songs. Like soulmates and all that shit. Because of this i used to act lovey dovey with plates, and surprisingly it worked well. Looking back on it, it worked well because i was extremely high on the looks scale, alpha scale. So i didnt know i was "making a mistake" because the feedback was still positive. I also didnt take advantage of every opportunity, something that being redpilled taught me. I also used to go with the flow back then but i create opportunities now by being proactive and making things happen, also i approach now - back then i didnt because i didnt need to but approaching has increased my confidence overall as well.

          Once i learned about this I stopped giving some plates GF treatment. I used to have "eyes" only for her and wouldnt check out girls and wouldnt flirt in front of her etc. Now i do all that shit, and my ceiling has increased.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)


            [–]JosephBosa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Sorry to hear that bro. Im in college now, so im starting to see the benefits of being raised by an alpha dad. The only thing that sucks about having an alpha dad is having to submit to him all the time or they get mad/power tripping. Once i became a more pure alpha as i got older my dad didnt like it deep down, i think it shook up the family hierarchy. I guess you can call that a beta moment of his however there is no such thing as a pure alpha no matter what so i dont judge him for it.

            [–]MavetFreedomFighter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            because money cant buy real attraction

            that look of a girl who you dominate physically, is worth more than the blue piller understands, and they get this. no matter what, they are just a mark for women while the high SMV guy ( fit /domineering) can have a woman in many ways without paying a dollar

            [–]mr_kuk -1 points0 points  (3 children)

            "dominance and that stuff."

            You're friend dominated you in that conversation and you got butt hurt.

            To lose an argument is not the same as being in the wrong.

            If anyone in the story is the crab in the bucket, it is you. How dare your friend not get down on his knees and worship your superiority? Pathetic!

            [–]awakenedspirit1[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

            Oh, I'm not trying to debate him. I didn't even think this was "an argument." Truthfully I thought this was valuable feedback. I thought it was worth sharing because I'd seen this trope pointed out before on the sub. To see it happen to me IRL was surreal.

            [–]Red_Faust 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            You did awesome. The correct move here is not to argue, but to nod, smile, and agree, and then keep going your merry way. Which is what you did. Congratulations.

            [–]zestytacoz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Unless you're experiencing that life while wearing a VR headset, it's not made up lmao

            [–]confusedguy911911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Most people kinda enjoy surrounding themselves with what they would consider “lesser “ or “lower scale “ to make themselves feel better. It isn’t a coincidence you see one or two beautiful woman with grenades in a group, they know what they are doing,so do the grenades. Oh I’ll hang out with Jenny (solid 9) and when she gets bedded by the alpha from the club maybe the (passable 7 guy friend he brought) will shag me (4.5 grenade ). Guys do it as well , either to pickup girls and make themselves look better or simply to appease their narcissistic side . What people can’t stand is the alpha male RP guy who does the working out and looking good simply for himself with none of the above alternative motives.A lot of you have good examples about your own parents saying “ why are you lifting weights “ .I had friends ask me the same thing adding in “ you have a gf why do you keep doing that”? My go to answer is always : I do it for me but your welcome to envy the results of my hard work thanks for noticing.Most laugh off my stupid joke but you can see in them that pinch of , maybe I should try that.On average it goes back to people’s comfort levels, why bother when I’m happy “kinda” with what I have .And if they aren’t they simply lower their surrounding standards and tada they are on top again.

            [–]UbermenschUnicorn 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Curious about your fitness startup, does it have an IG or something? It’s cool too if you wanna keep your privacy

            [–]ChrimsonChin988 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            You shouldn’t have told him you read about this stuff and are actively trying to improve yourself etc. Your progress should seem effortless, as if it naturally started coming towards you.

            [–]Chitlinsandgravy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Oooh lawdy. You fuck around and threaten someone's sense of self? That shit is powerful and largely subconscious. Most of the time, they don't even know why. They just need to do it.

            [–]SuperCrazy07 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            For someone who doesn't talk about fight club, you sure talked a lot about it based on one comment.

            The FR's on the married chick and your friend were both interesting, but next time maybe "I'm just working out more for health reasons and working on increasing my confidence - but I'm still the same guy" could avoid a weird conversation and the potential of Billy Blue Pill crashing something down the road when he white knights.

            [–]awakenedspirit1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Great point. As Migos would say - big on big

            [–]DocZTheRockstar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            We've got to let men move freely, change in the right way, make himself better, etc. Especially ones we know. Playing music in a band and seeing members go or breaking up made it easier for me. Do your thing.

            He just doesn't know the truth about women. He'll know within time just hopefully he doesn't get burned badly.

            [–]7GreatOne11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            > This is incredible to me. I've been pretty consumed with the materials here, and it must be leaking. I do my best not to talk about fight club.

            I've been experiencing this phenomena as well. I've probably been reading a little too much the past weeks.I'm going to get myself in trouble at work if I continue to walk down that path. The only rule of the fight club...

            [–]TheJedi_Lied 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I think your friend has a decent point. I personally can’t ons a girl with no brain anymore. I think different women find different things attractive just like men and there are some generalizations that tend to be true but there’s always exceptions. Dominant like a jock is a lot different than dominant like a gentleman, especially at 35. If you were acting like a frat boy and it’s out of character the guy could be looking out in a way. Because that’s sensible behavior unless you want to fuck sorority girls. Which a lot of guys do but I personally am not interested. That said you should also be whoever you want and I have no idea who you are and how you act and maybe your friend is just some jealous idiot. For interesting conversations sake I tried to play devils advocate.

            I haven’t been angry or surprised in years about most of this shit. I think there’s a certain comedown point i crossed where the pill finally went down and things weren’t so black and white anymore. I just chilled the fuck out about it. If you’re newer that period is something to look forward to: you’re really settled in yourself, have good habits that used to be uncomfortable and intuitively grasp what used to seem so epiphanic.

            I would be careful going overboard with ppl who will drag you down or out you. That’s a good observation to follow. My drawn out $.02, good for you for growing

            [–]TheRealDennisVang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Eventually you will need new friends or this guy has to close the gap in order to be level with you. Check out how Snoop Dogg explains it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZiiypkTNLs

            [–]1ozaku7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            You should only change if you are already truly great. You should change if you suck.

            [–]ToryTosh1922 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            "Yes, but they finish first in the end."

            Finishing first in the end is finishing last?! Wow. BP logic astounds me. It's true what they say. Once you swallow TRP there's no going back.

            PS: don't be ethically conflicted. If she was happily married she wouldn't be throwing herself at you

            [–]SoulRedemption 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Ive come to learn that sometimes the close friends that do this are not doing it cuz of jealousy (at least not all). Sometimes it's hard for them to see someone change who they do not expect to. These changes, they may not like it because they feel like you are leaving them behind. Certain things that they liked about you (whether beneficial to you or not) are no longer there.