Rant/VentingMarriage rant (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 319Skew

I know these are a dime a dozen but I just need to get this off my chest. If anyone get's any value of this all the better.

I was in a serious relationship for a good third of my life. During which I tried to do what I thought was right. I listened, did all the things she wanted and over time my character and my strong dominant side started to become blue to the core.

Don't get me wrong. I did my share of errors but I took no shit. Slowly I started to tolerate. After tolerance I started to accept. Then it became the way of things. "That's just how women are - LOL" became my stupid mantra. The sex helped too.

But things came to a crashing halt when my son was born. I saw the path that i was heading and pulled the breaks on this bullshit marriage and dealt with the divorce as civil as I can. Guys, divorce rape is real. You don't know what it's like until she takes half your shit, tries to push you out of your own child's life, alienate friends and family and then use the money you BROUGHT to the table to buy lavish luxuries.

But I digress. This occasionally still strikes a nerve even though it's been years.

Recently, I started to look back into investing. When I separated, I had brought close to 40 grand in terms of investments to her. She used her money for expensive trips post divorce and I used my remainder to hire a lawyer for basic visitation rights to my son.

The result. Pay attention fellas. Is that she got my son, my possessions, the money I had been savings and I got the basic right to see my boy (which is a blessing TBH), debt and the burden of living with friends and family till I got back on my feet.

While looking at the current price of cryptocurrency, I saw that it had exploded. When I was looking at investing into it, I was going to put a few hundreds into the coin for the novelty of it. I figured I spend more of food and drinks with friends, it goes somewhere and I make a few bucks back then great. If not then I won't be breaking the bank. Nope. She had a business venture that she wanted. This required money and savings (which I brought) but was POORLY executed and tanked.

12k wasted on this nonsense with nothing to show for it. Hell, I didn't even go after her for this on our separation because I wanted nothing to do with it.

But had I invested (she didn't know that I was investing before because I was using a portion of my income from a raise to make sound business decisions) she would've been livid for the gambling. Fast forward and I see how much bitcoin was/is going for. Keep in mind that when I was looking into this it was 2012...the amount of money that could've come from that venture made me see red. It took some time for me to process the facts. Had I made even more money she would've got half of it. Sure I would've got some but the outcome would've been the same. Me paying for a lavish lifestyle that I put towards and she capitalized on.

Had I won the lotto she'd get even more money through child support.

Guys do not get married and if you HAVE to for the love of all that is holy sign a document to protect your asset. If she makes more than you, great but how many of us can say that? How many of us marry a 'stable woman' with good values, sound business sense and a rational compassionate soul?

[–]rsaralaya 39 points40 points  (8 children)

Thank you for sharing the story of the reality of your marriage.

[–]319Skew[S] 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Thanks but it's not so much my marriage. It's a common enough trend. My ex went after me and my money. My friend's ex rode everyone in a 10 km radius and went after his house. His friend's ex turned to fucking her yoga instructor and drugs. She went after him and took the kids

[–]rsaralaya 13 points14 points  (2 children)

All one can hope is karma catches upto their actions, unless the legal system begins caring about men as well.

[–]Supremedis 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Not gonna happen till a great collapse, or western civilization is supplanted by some other.

[–]itoshirt 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Well just don't get married

[–]SharpestMarbel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The reality is marriage, which move her into laying claim to your assets, is a major risk even for RP guys.

Second to marriage being a risk is having kids. Kids, even if you are not married, put you at risk of child alienation and unreasonable child-support, and having to keep seeing an ex for several decades. Family law in USA is slowly changing, but it's centered on the gynocentric principle that women are better parents and naturally attached to kids. Fathers rights are routinely trampled upon.

Third risk depending on your jurisdiction is living together. Check your laws to see how living with a woman may entitle her to cohabition wife-like status with respect to property etc. Even without laws, there was a thread awhile ago, about women who move in with guys and then proceed to acquire assets. The relationship "breaks-up" and she keeps lots of the goods or apt. Like marriage but without having to wait 5-10 years for the payoff.

[–]Denver_Luv4 2 points3 points  (2 children)

FYI, don't get married.

I was pressured to, a long time ago, to my now-ex and co-parent, and not doing it was one of the best things I ever did.

You are not only what you do, but what you do not do.

[–]rsaralaya 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sure, but this article is IMHO, a terrible piece of work to support anything it says. Sorry.

[–]flapjacksrbetter 12 points13 points  (17 children)

I plan to not sign the marriage paper but hold a wedding. Unfortunately I heard the courts can still look at the couple as married even tho they didnt sign any papers, because they live together.

What papers are u talking about? I wanna live with a woman in the future but I dont wanna give my hard earned shit to her

[–]Pestilence1911 14 points15 points  (14 children)

Six months in canada and its "common law"

Technically even roommates can be taken for "unjust enrichment".

[–]flapjacksrbetter 8 points9 points  (8 children)

So how do we get around this and not get divorce raped?

[–]MegatonBombr 15 points16 points  (7 children)

Sign an agreement stating that if a divorce were to occur, you both can walk away with everything you brought to the table, you owe each other nothing. If she declines to sign such an agreement, that’s a big red flag.

[–]_Icarus_Reborn_ 8 points9 points  (5 children)

That's not even enough.

I've seen/read plenty of cases where such documents/prenups get thrown out.

Don't get married. It's that simple. Don't cohabit.

Fortunately, common law marriage isn't a thing in the UK yet. So I should be OK. Not that I've got anything worth taking at the moment.

[–]flapjacksrbetter 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Dont cohabit? Well fuck cuz i eventually wanna live with someone and not die alone by myself

[–]_Icarus_Reborn_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Well, I suppose we all gotta take that risk one day pal. It'll always be a gamble.

As the saying goes. AWALT.

[–]flapjacksrbetter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess ima keep on switching until i find the right one to cohabit with. But the girl is gonna pressure me into marrying her. Hmm idk if prenups and legal agreements saying no half n half work

[–]gixxerthouguy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Are you sure? I was pretty sure once you live together for 2 years you're fucked. I'm no solicitor though. But I would bet a good one could argue the case.

[–]_Icarus_Reborn_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've looked this up as much as I can.

And yup, I'm no solicitor either. But it does seem that way.

I'll see if I can dig up some sources when I'm at my pc.

[–]AmeriStasi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This whole system is a symptom of liberalism, imo. You don’t see these kinds of laws in patriarchal, conservative societies. One could ask, how do you change society to become more conservative, and things like this will resolve themselves as downstream issues.

[–]Blaze_Bless 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I recently separated after 3 years with my fiance and I used a family law lawyer that explicitly told me contrary to the common belief of 6 months = common law, that a couple has to be proven to be living in a "marriage like" relationship for at least 2 years before a division of assets and percentages of ownership come into question with a home. I bought her out at a fraction of the money it would normally cost and destroyed her, now I live in the home we bought together as the value increases exponentially over the last year, sometimes men have small victories in the wake of a psycho b-b-b-bitch

[–]WholesomeAwesome 0 points1 point  (1 child)

does common law marriage make you liable for half the assets and alimony?

[–]Pestilence1911 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure. Depends on how much the courts hate you i guess.

[–]askmrcia 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Unfortunately I heard the courts can still look at the couple as married even tho they didnt sign any papers, because they live together.

Bullshit. If I live with a male roommate for years would they considered us married? Why does it change if it's a woman?

[–]enfier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have to act as if you were married. Like having a wedding and calling her your wife.

[–]1Noblefiz 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Short simple and to the point. It’s important that you managed to see a couple of alternate outcomes. If You had followed one of those other paths, your fall might have been much further down. Also, good on you for highlighting the point about protecting your assets.

Thanks for sharing mate.

[–]Disobedient_Citizen1 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Thank you for sharing, stay strong and keep building. A family friend of mine just decided to stop one day. He simply let her have a little over 60 percent of the money and assets in cash and gave up on the child.

I judged him at first for giving up on his kid but it turned out exactly as he said it would. His ex wife spent all the money on luxuries and when ir ran out and she couldnt sustain her party lifestyle anymore she took him to court for more money.

He expected this and promptly immigrated to Thailand where she has no financial hold on him.

I dont blame the guy. I remember years ago when i reprimanded him for giving up the custody and visitation battle, he told me that he is in fact doing it for his son and he doesnt expect me to understand. I still dont. Hope some day i do.

[–]temerity18 24 points25 points  (1 child)

He should have moved to Thailand with 100% of his money and not give 60% of it first to the leech.

[–]enfier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doesn't matter. She can still get the judgement in US courts and probably collect with the help of a lawyer. In fact some woman you knocked up in Thailand can probably get child support out of the US court system with a decent lawyer.

[–]Mr_Tomorrow_ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel your pain and don’t feel bad about your rant. If anything , this is one of the few places in life that a man can come to and express their regret with a past decision that has a major impact on your life because of a female.

I went through nearly the same thing (minus the investment part). I lost everything. The money we had saved (not much) I could have spent my portion on it through legal fees just trying to get my half. We didn’t have many other assets. I was ordered by the court that until divorce was finalized I was to pay all normal expenses AND child support - simultaneously.

So fuck that, I tried to get the divorce over as quick as possible.

Fast forward to today, I’m back on my feet and getting myself sorted again. It’s been 2 years but I have a savings, I’ve fucked more girls than I can count, traveled well, and don’t have any more of her drama.

You sound like a smart dude, and you will rise again. Thanks for sharing the experience, it helps those thinking that marriage is the way to go to reconsider, and it helps people like me who appreciate knowing they’re not alone.

A lot of women exploit the system to their benefit and they do so all while acting as if they’re the victim.

[–]safa61947 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm a single guy, this is why I keep visiting this sub.

[–]SocratesOnPot 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Don't get me wrong. I did my share of errors but I took no shit. Slowly I started to tolerate. After tolerance I started to accept. Then it became the way of things. "That's just how women are - LOL" became my stupid mantra.

It sort of becomes your "new normal". You slowly become more and more miserable and you chug through, but your pain tolerance increases with it. That treadmill effect can be a blessing and a curse in life. It allows us to plow through difficult times and accept the inevitability of suffering in life, but it also is partially responsible for very detrimental behaviors like addictions, hypergamy, eating disorders, and things like this.

I agree. Never ever marry. There's absolutely no reason to anymore.

[–]BigGeek43 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I don't know where you are but I'm divorced and kept 50% access to my kid and pay no spousal or child support.
That's because during my divorce I ordered a book "Emergency dad's guide to divorce proceedings" it said don't move out of the house and don't sign anything you don't agree on.
I told my then wife "nobody is going to take away my son from me. I'll go to courts and lose everything if I have to. I'll earn money again but you won't". And she agreed to settle.
If you're in Canada, judges will give 50% access to kids to dad if dad wants it. Of course you have to live close by to each other. It worked out ok for me.
My son grew up to a total Chad at 12 years old. He's disciplined, works out with me at the gym, can come to a table of girls, sit down and talk to them while all the other boys are in shock. As a result girls chase him. It's so awesome to have a kid. I would never understand those who give up on their own kids.

[–]319Skew[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Can this be on the side bar somewhere. I think it'd be useful since so many guys get shafted on this part of swallowing the pill.

[–]fcking77 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In other words, marriage strike.

[–]light-----------dark 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I’m really glad that I don’t have to marry to know not to marry - this helps.

Thank you, and wish you well.

[–]Pastelitomaracucho[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I got out of a quickly stalling marriage, unscathed, thanks to the experiences of others.

Closest call of my life.

[–]U-94 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The way I see it you can beat this system by 1) not accumulating stuff and 2) not caring to visit your kid.

[–]319Skew[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's sad but true. However, both aren't an option.

[–]Izzenw 8 points9 points  (1 child)

And people say that MGTOWs are the new incels.

MGTOW is the next step of evolution from TRP.

[–]kiwifx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mate, don't feel bad about the Crypto frenzy. You could have easily made a fortune. You could had wasted some disposable income. You could have also decided to take your $100 to $100,000 gains and invest the lot in a few new cryptocurrency ICO's hoping to buy a garage of lambos, and ACTUALLY lost a metric fuck-ton of potential returns. Owning 50% of what you used to own because of your wife is a whole lot sweeter than owning 0% of what you used to own because of a Crypto swing caused by an Asian country bringing in harsh new laws on exchanges and the resulting fundamentals causing a big slide. At the very least, some of the former goes toward raising your son - 0% in the latter case.

Sage words on marriage.

Unsolicited advice: if shared friends sided with her, they were her friends - or they were BP guys acquiescing to their partners, and as such, weren't yours. Let them all bath in your ex-wife's toxicity while you're out making new friends that don't clank when they walk. That's what those 'friends' got out of your divorce.

[–]soulcatcher357 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually had a similar thing happen with the wife and TWO businesses... Though the second didn't fail - she just cashed it out before the divorce for herself. So if your wife wants to start a new business this is a red flag and you should prepare for the worse: That's what you do cash out on all your assets and pay the marital debt (including your lawyer)you'll otherwise be stuck with. Also you swap to basic cars you need. Make a plan and execute it.

And then you have places where Common law marriages are a thing and Colorado where you are screwed with paying alimony for life and the new tax laws which the man pays the taxes on the alimony.

But read the sidebar - hindsight is 20/20.

[–]1ozaku7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

TLDR; I signed a document that she gets half my shit if she starts to hate me.
Also: Marriage contract and marriage laws? TL;DR

[–]ToryTosh1922 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Sorry for your loss. Thank you for raising awareness about divorce rape. It's seriously influenced my future decisions

[–]319Skew[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Thanks. I don't know how I view it. There are times where I look back with nostalgia at the good times and feel a sense of loss and frustration over the distress it has caused my son, but I also know that I did the only right thing available to me. Had I stayed, my son wouldn't have learned how to be a man but a blue pilled whipped guy and the relationship would've ended on her term or an affair.

Being a man sometimes involves making the hard right choices (something no woman truly understands or appreciates).

I'm glad that you can learn from my mistakes and poor judgement. Your response made my day. Stay well, brother.

[–]mlittman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree. Had I stayed for the kids they would have seen a very bad example of a man whose bitch whipped does whatever the mean woman says and that's not the kind of example of a man I want to give my son to work my daughter. Also my wife made me so damn miserable that my kids were seeing me literally at my very worst everyday just seeing me as bad as I possibly could be miserable strung out tired. This is not a good example for my kids. Also my wife and I were giving our children just an awful terrible example of what it means to be married or what it means to be in a quote-unquote so-called loving relationship examples I want to show my son that he should and can't stand up for himself. I want to show my daughter that she should not emotionally control an abused man and if you cannot I want to show both of my children that you need to stand up for yourself do not spend your life being pussy-whipped bitch I want to show both of my kids that you can make the change in your life you can make your life better you don't have to be miserable just cuz you are a marriage do not stay together for the kids if you do that you are being the worst example that you possibly could be. Got a divorce be happy show your kids that happiness is possible that they can make decisions in their life that will benefit them and that it's not selfish to make a change so you're not miserable

[–]ToryTosh1922 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look on the bright side, at least you got out of the relationship and discovered TRP.

You and I could both have blindly stayed in our LTRs, blissfully BP'd until we catch her in bed with another man and our life comes crashing down around us.

You made the right decision. In my personal experience, once you act like a beta cuck in front of a woman that's it. Game over. You could become Giga Chad and her panties won't drop for you because you'll be forever be imprisoned in her mind as Billy Beta. Only thing you can do is cut your losses and leave at that point. Unless you want to be the guy sending "good morning beautiful" texts whilst she's choking on the cock of a Chad.

We both need to move on, develop an abundance mentality and start spinning plates. Onwards and upwards!

[–]AmeriStasi 4 points5 points  (9 children)

I don’t want to jinx it, but I’m pretty sure I’ve married a stable enough woman, who will mother many children for me, and be loving and kind to them. Conservative family, lots of green (?) flags, enough to compensate for any red flags.

Why did you only have one child? Once you have a few children, I suspect your spouse will be very busy raising them and not have time to spin up random bs.

Any advice in retrospect on what went wrong? Or did you know early on there was major issues on the horizon?

Also, my condolences to your shit situation. I sympathize with it, especially someone taking your son from you. The primary reason I became a father was to have a son eventually, as that is a really personal experience. Can’t imagine the rage I’d feel if someone tried to take that away from me.

[–]319Skew[S] 8 points9 points  (8 children)

Everyone believes they have an exception. I married a virgin from a conservative family (daughter of a pastor), submissive, family focused and wanting a career as a secondary role to a mother. She was sweet, kind, beautiful and satisfied me sexually. All these things hid and obscured all the red flags.

Like I said, it's gradual. When we were going out, I had one of my laces come undone. She knelt down and without being asked just started to tie my shoe. That's the kinda person she appeared to be. The perfect woman to compliment her man. Years later, she would tell me what she was doing or going to do without any regard to my thoughts or feelings. If I agreed then good. No problems. If I didn't, I'd have to make a case for why with details, examples, explanations etc. It became too many tiring fights that lead to apathy.

I was always trying to create stability and reason but like hypergamy, AWALT, and just basic women nature state, it's not logic but feels that drive them.

I would be at fault for not making as much as she wanted. Hell I've had this argument before :

She maxed out a 6000 credit card. I gave her cash from the savings I put away and forgave her because I loved her and felt she had made a mistake in judgment. She gets an increase, max out 9000 now and then blames me for depression that caused her to spend more time shopping. That caused me to not talk to her for a few days.

Anyway, I've got a ton of examples. The point is that you love her and you accept, gradually, all her BS. Don't. Listen to The rational male, read up on married dread game, do not take advice from BP guys, women and restrict family/friend intervention as much as possible. Most of what works only does so for short time and you're just delaying this.

As for why only one kid, that's easy. I grew up in a single parent house. I wanted to make sure that I had all my ducks in a row (stable - also a reason why she said I wasn't a man btw - wasn't stable enough), I had my son at 31. I would have had more but I was trying to make sure my marriage was stable and financially sound.

The irony being is that had she stopped trying to take charge of the relationship and expenses, she would have had more kids and would've been happier for it.

Don't get me wrong, I made a mistake. I decided to follow my heart and dick to ruin. Had I put my foot down and been more direct things may have been different. The marriage lasted as long as it did because of the patience I had, the sex (I'm a good lover and she kept me satisfied), and my accidental application of red pill dread game (Get hit on a lot and create fear and drama).

Shoot me a pm if you want any advice, I try to help any man with my experience whenever possible.


I'm doing much better, lifting and spinning plates and trying to rebuild my finances. My son is amazing and I'll do my best to in his life (despite her efforts) to teach him how to be red.

[–]CapnPoot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great read. I’m glad that there are people posting long term outcomes.

One thing I would like to add - when you said things might have been differently - I don’t think so. The main issue in modern day society is not that men are too blue pilled (which is definitely a separate issue). The issue is that daddy government has stepped in and facilitated this kind of behavior. Women can walk away at any time, for any reason, and take more than half of your shit and make you suffer.

Combine that with modern day FOMO propoganda and the amoral society we live in, and you have the perfect disaster.

[–]BewareTheOldMan 2 points3 points  (5 children)

"My son is amazing and I'll do my best to be in his life (despite her efforts) to teach him how to be red."

I never understood women who undermine and sabotage a father's influence, positive mentoring and guidance, and authority in his child's/children's lives. It makes no sense.

I always thought that despite divorce women would STILL want to have a great father in their child's life. It's bad enough to have failed at marriage, but to further solidify their failure as a mother is stupid and irresponsible - yet the majority women end up with custody of the children.

My ex-wife tried to do the same with my kids, but I regularly hard-checked and frustrated her efforts...much to her chagrin.

In the final tally and as kids get older, it's easy for them to see who is the more responsible and better parent.

[–]319Skew[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

After you remove sex, what else can a woman threaten you with?

[–]temerity18 1 point2 points  (1 child)

False rape accusation, false assault accusation. And if you are married have you divorce raped. If you have kids she can have "child support" extorted out of you for many years. To name a few.

[–]319Skew[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I meant more along the only thing that a woman can truly give is a sexual outlet. Without that she really can't offer anything you can't find anywhere else (friendship, affection, loyalty, respect, admiration, companionship etc). But I get your point.

[–]Westernhagen 0 points1 point  (1 child)

"I never understood women who undermine and sabotage a father's influence, positive mentoring and guidance, and authority in his child's/children's lives. It makes no sense."

She divorced him because she despised him and had no respect for him. She regards him as an unworthy man. Therefore she does not think he is a good source of guidance and authority. Also, whether she wronged him or he wronged her, either way she wants to punish him through the kids. Lastly, less time with kids for him means more money for her.

[–]BewareTheOldMan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"...she despised him and had no respect for him. She regards him as an unworthy man."

It boils down to disrespect. I give my ex-wife credit for the near-decade plus of good years she gave in marriage, but I saw her subtle and later (more drastic) changes as disrespect.

She failed to fulfill wife and mother duties to my expectations and standard. I gave her time to self-correct, saw her continued lack of effort as disrespect, and summarily dismissed her via divorce.

Women initiate most divorces at a rate of almost 70 percent. I see this as a somewhat misleading because when men initiate (as I did) it's mainly because of disloyalty (infidelity), disrespect, or disruption to a man's life. My ex was guilty on two of the three offenses - hence her dismissal.

It sucks, but it seems as if divorce is the ONLY way a woman knows a man is serious about his wife bringing her A-Game.

In short - if the husband has to constantly fulfill husband-father duties to a woman's expectations and standards she MUST do the same as well. It' really that simple.

[–]WholesomeAwesome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All these things hid and obscured all the red flags.

what were they?

did you ever check her finances?

[–]yesbuthereswhy 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I found TRP after marriage so posts like this are a little difficult to swallow. I’m young and have no kids but I have no plans of leaving my wife. I realize that divorce rape is a real thing but the reality is that just as “she’s not yours, it’s just your turn” is true for many facets of life. Your money today is not yours it’s just yours for now. Your health isn’t good for you it’s good for now. The list can go on and on if what is ours today is potentially gone tomorrow.

In my opinion I think we have to take this approach and expect every part of our life to be taken from us. I think that once you can accept or start to accept that change is inevitable then you won’t be as hurt or burdened when you lose something. I think Seneca has a ritual that asks you to practice losing stuff that matters to you. It prepares you for the day that comes.

I don’t think you should never get married but if you do be damn best sure you’re ready. Have your shit together, be mentally tough and always be willing to pull the plug. The last part matters more than ever because due to the light switch effect women have absolutely zero problems with throwing you under the bus at a moments notice. If you get into an arguement and she swears she going to divorce you and you can’t say “I’ll help you pack your bags” you’re not ready to be married.

[–]BewareTheOldMan 2 points3 points  (3 children)

"I’ll help you pack your bags - you’re not ready to be married."

I like this - that's gansta.

No sense sweating the stuff that's just temporarily yours.

In my divorce the ex-wife got the house, everything in the house, and both vehicles. I started over in a small apartment and bought a used, inexpensive vehicle.

I paid off the marital debt, agreed to child support, arranged to see my kids on a regular basis, and she waived her rights to my retirement.

In hindsight I should have changed careers and got full custody because it worked out that I was the more financially stable and responsible parent.

She hates the fact that she has ZERO ACCESS to my retirement. It’s a decision she regrets to this day. My life got better whereas she stagnated and never improved more than she did when we divorced years ago.

[–]yesbuthereswhy 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Same exact thing happened to my dad. He gave her everything including custody. 15 years later he’s living in a half million dollar house making $350k a year and she always says, “Your father is as broke as the day I met him.” She has no idea his business that she put down kicked off and he’s happily enjoying the fruits of his labor married to another woman.

[–]Westernhagen 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was cheering until I got to the "married to another woman" part.

If he was done having kids, WHY?

[–]yesbuthereswhy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmfao dude she cooks like a champ and cleans the house all day. I do not blame him one bit.

[–]NormalAndy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Keep fighting brother. It sounds like you are keeping yourself in good form despite the challenges. Well done.

Keep working hard on yourself and become even bigger than the small minded bitch so she doesn't matter anymore. Keep going through hell, don't stop until you make it out of the other side. It will be the greatest lesson you can give to your son: how to thrive in adversity.

Best of luck.

[–]mlittman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree divorce rape is actually real. The way you described resistance and then tolerance and acceptance and then putting up with crazy shit, is super accurate It happens very slowly over a long time and you slowly find yourself giving up all of your wants and sometimes some of your core values because you love your kids so much. You assume because you would do any and all things to help the family, that she would as well, and you felt safe. You thought that she understood how important family was and you thought she knew you were eating shit all day long to benefit your family and that you thought she understood that she should put up a little bit of discomfort for the benefit of the family as well because she knows how hard you're working and she loves the kids as much as you do right? You would think so.

Nope! Woman just got bored and comfortable and when we treat women with chivalry and protect them and provide for them this allows them to be adult children. After 13 years of being taken care of and protected and and given safety and resources she just thought everything was so easy and everything is owed to her. So she gets thinking about her lifelong dreams and how things aren't perfect Utopia that she dreamed about when she was a little girl. Women don't like facts they like feelings! , and even their own children, do not matter as much to the woman as her own personal feelings of gratification, for her own personal childlike little girl feelings. She doesn't care if he own selfishness and laziness causes world's of pain to her own kids for no reason.

For more than a decade you work your ass off to provide a wonderful and comfortable life with safety and luxury. Then she feels like she deserves to have all of her dreams come true and to have more self-actualization and satisfaction in her life even though things are pretty good and happy here already. Her comfortable and safe and happy marriage full of laughter and luxury, even even with your beautiful wonderful children, did not provide enough meaning and self-actualization and utopian dream feelings as she believes she must have. She wants Rom com elated swept her off her feet fairy tale shit. But she doesn't know what it is to work or sacrifice.

So you've been so busy working and providing for her and treating her nice she now thinks you're gone a little bit too much because she wants you to work and a lot and bring on big bucks. and you're kind of boring cuz all you ever do is help her out and smile and talk kindly she wants a rude boy tohave adventure or she initial thinks she does. Cause shes a grown up infant. she's bored of you she's bored and she just asked for divorce for no fucking reason so she can chase her dreams. Never mind that your beautiful family and beautiful children and your good marriage, weren't those things a dream dream you were supposed to be building together as a couple? but she doesn't appreciate you.

Now as the o p said divorce rape is actually a real thing she's going to get but the majority of your earned income for the foreseeable future and she's gets half your assets and by time you dig yourself out the whole you have nothing left except years of servitude to work your ass off and give all of your money to her the woman who got bored of you cuz you were just too nice to her.

Is absolutely the reality boys they want chivalry, they want you to provide for them if you're too nice to them and you make them too comfortable and give them to a luxury they're just going to be thinking it's also easy and kind of boring and that they can certainly do better without you cuz you're kind of boring guy that works a lot. She's going to toss your ass out on the street and take everything from you.

[–]DancesWithPugs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her making most or all of the money does not prevent a court making the man in the divorce get messed over financially.

[–]teeteedoubleyoudee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I genuinely don't understand why men still get married. It's an old, made up unnecessary tradition which should have been made redundant by now.

[–]Pastelitomaracucho[🍰] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Thank you for the rant.

Simply put, we humans have the potential to be good, passionate and ethical, and the potential to become evil, sadistic, even violent. You marry someone with the potential to be both things. You marry them when they are good to you, but once the marriage is over, you get to know their darker side. Or simply put, you just end up living with someone who will put their interests above yours 100% of the time, using a referee that more often than not, is skewed against you.

Its very simple, really. I am deeply in love with my partner at the moment, but I know she could turn from the angel that she is, into the vicious/slutty/vengeful/neglecting woman I wouldn't have ever laid my eyes on in the first place. And all it takes, is love fading. As easy as that. Hell, even I have the same potential, of course.

Therefore, I am not getting married, I am not having children, I am not acquiring joint assets, I am protecting my shit and I am staying healthy, fit and attractive, regardless of how much I love her and how comfy I feel with her. I can't take risks.

[–]temerity18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You seem a wise and determined man. Guard your baby gravy. Or much better: Get snipped. Then you will be invulnerable. And very relaxed.

[–]mlittman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah the 7 year itch? She can just turn on you for no reason. Even if you have done nothing wrong, if you're totally blameless and you've spent all that time loving her and nurturing her and providing for her the family courts in the u.s. and Canada will give her every option and ability a right to fuck you up the ass and there's nothing you can do about it

[–]Pastelitomaracucho[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she used the system to fuck you up, you didn't play the game right EVEN knowing the rules. So you had that coming.

[–]huckleberry_78 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t focus on shit you could have done differently in the past. (like the bitcoin debacle). Focus on the present to make your future better.

[–]Vakleri 2 points3 points  (11 children)

I don't think it's the rant that ever bothers me it's always the conclusion. You wasted your life in a bluepilled marriage then get fucked by the divorce (what a surprise). Then your conclusion is that the woman was the problem! She was greedy I am so naive.. "Never get married guys!" you were the problem. You didn't know how to be a man and protect your assets beforehand and also didn't pick a good woman.

Marriage can work and has done for thousands of years. Learn the system and even the playing field.

[–]319Skew[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I take accountability for my actions. Had I been a more dominant masculine figure things would've been different but don't give me this bullshit about 'marriage can work and has done for thousands of years' - thousands of years didn't have to deal with feminism, gender nonsense and globalization. There aren't any 'good women' just women. I choose to use my mistakes to learn and be better for myself and the future generation (my son). Hopefully some other men can see what I did wrong and learn or see a pattern. Also, how many men do you know that 'protect their assets' out of hand? Is there a course on that? Is it taught by previous generations of men? Do you have women offer this solution? So tell me, how do people know about this without experience?

I'm not angry at the response but I do think it's a gross oversimplification.

[–]CapnPoot 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ignore his response bro. You are talking from experience, and he is talking from theory.

[–]Vakleri -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Yes it is taught by other men, my father did it for me when he told me I was acting like a pussy with girls. It's not about the without the experience part I have an issue with mate, it's when you do you should look on your past with an even keel. If your form is wrong when you lift do you then look back and say oh shit lifting is awful and a terrible idea. Or should you look back and be like ah I can correct my course for when I next lift.

This whole feminism, globalisation and gender stuff is just an excuse when shit goes wrong and you can put the blame on something out of your control.

[–]319Skew[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Real happy for you. My father wasn't there. Grew up with a single mom trying to do a man's job and be a mother. Kinda sucked. Grew up in a bad neighborhood with great parenting examples there and TV full of strong male role models. Not looking for pity from a stranger. Just stating facts for context.

So, fast forward a bit. I had some strong red pill traits that I picked up from being around masculine gang members and good teacher role models but nothing really on how to be married man.

When I got married, there's no real manual that I had. So to borrow your example, it's like going to the gym after seeing how Bugs Bunny lifts on TV. Getting a random weight and struggling to lift it with whatever form seems to work. Messing up. Looking back at how stupid that was. Trying to tell other people what went wrong with it. Then having someone pull up beside me. Tell me about how good it is to have clean form that he learned from his personal trainer and how I should've known better and not bitch about my back pain and take responsibility for my pain. All this while being fully aware where I messed up, trying to incrementally improve and sharing what you went through from experience.

Hope that helps.

[–]Vakleri 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely mate, again I'm not attacking you with my comments just your ideas. You're spot on though and the real issue is spreading this information in an informative way. Red pill is the perfect place for it and I respect you and the changes your making to your life. Doing better than most lads out there.

[–]CapnPoot 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Way to blame the guy who got fcked for being a normal human being smh. This is the new low society has come to.

“You should have anticipated shed fck you and hid your assets and played dread and held frame. Its totally your fault the government gives women the power to divorce-rape on a whim”.

[–]Vakleri -3 points-2 points  (4 children)

Yes he should have known that was a risk. I don't really understand your point here.

[–]CapnPoot 2 points3 points  (3 children)

My point is that a dude got raped in an unavoidable circumstance, and hes being blamed for it by people who have little to no experience. Theres enough stories here and irl to show that no one is immune to divorce rape.

[–]Vakleri -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

It wasn't unavoidable though as you even said in your first point.

[–]CapnPoot 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Where did I write that? And the only thing a man can do is temporarily avoid it, if he strikes the mythical balance or alpha and beta. Even then, there is a fine thread which he must do a balancing act on, and if he slips for even a second, everything falls.

I know too many cool handsome smart successful RP dudes who have gotten absolutely divorce raped because their girl either got bored or got the tingles. And guess what? The government was happily waiting on the side to facilitate divorce-rape, while the now ex hopped back onto the CC with a stipend to fuel it.

[–]confusedguy911911 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Not getting married to avoid this is about as sensible as don’t swim you might drown.I believe the issue ( maybe not the OP’s situation) is people get married too fast.I believe there are required steps to do before jumping into marriage .Date for a year minimum, live together first see how that goes at least another year, then work on the marriage thoughts.Woman as well as men can hide their true character for awhile , but I have yet to see any pull off a two year bullshit parade .In two years if there are red flags and you aren’t blue pilled or ostrich head in the sand type of person , you will know what you got on your hands.Having a good frame , clear mind going into any LTR can avoid most catastrophies.There isn’t any garantied way not to get screwed over , but to avoid everything completely probably not any wiser.

[–]Mr_Tomorrow_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds nice but I’ve seen more than my fair share of couples who have gone that same route and ended up in the same place with the guy being divorce-raped.

If you want to get married, ideally because you want a family, then it’s best to follow the way you described. If you’re not interested in starting a family then I really don’t see the point of getting married.

[–]CapnPoot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol thats like saying if you wear thin rubber gloves, theres little danger of sticking your hands in a bucket of AIDS needles

[–]Morphs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me paying for a lavish lifestyle that I put towards and she capitalized on.

I think this is always the case with "free money". Whenever someone didn't have to sweat for the money, it's so much easier to spend. And notice how this always goes one way (money from man to woman), there is no equal transaction from the woman to the man.