Do you think dating "sucks"? Are you sad, or upset, that Tinder works REALLY WELL for >15% men (soon, >10%)? Do you think online dating has fucked everything up?
All these beliefs are correct - but your attitude is the one thing you can control. Will you choose to be unhappy forever?
To understand why this is and what to do, we need a history lesson:
A Brief History of The Decline - PUA
In 1994 a guy named Lewis De Payne started the online group alt.seduction.fast, and the PUA community began. By the early 2000s, anonymous men with screen names like Mystery and Style were attempting alchemy - they wanted to create a foolproof method to get women into bed, a supposedly impossible task in a world convinced that everyone is special and being your genuine self was the correct sexual strategy.
Their "Field Reports" (sound familiar?) existed for men to trade notes online (and in those days, offline in meetups or "lairs") and actually turned lead into gold; The Game was created. PUAs correctly identified that women out at night selected men who displayed domineering, proto-masculine traits and exploited sexual tension (typically through escalation and perceived indifference aka the "Neg") to get laid.
A Brief History of The Decline - Game
Game worked, and people were ANGRY. Takes 5 seconds of googling to reveal that mainstream thought labeled PUA "misogynist", "pathetic", and ironically "lies". What got bloops angry isn't that PUA worked (we teach you to listen to their actions, not their words). What made bloops furious is that PUA turned the AFC, or Average Frustrated Chump (aka 95% of you, dear readers) into a man who could get girls. Yet PUAs were disinterested in the "Why", because men care about what works, and don't typically give much thought once the method is proven.
What audacity to disrupt the sexual marketplace in this way! PUA ultimately stole away some of a woman's ability to fully gatekeep sex. This usurpation of power was unacceptable! PUAs tried to fight back with a concept called "inner game", essentially arguing that PUA was actually just self-help written in locker room talk, and getting girls is a necessary part of building Maslow's foundation (see "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs"). This was weak - political correctness masquerading the desire to fuck as self-improvement. The bloops did not buy it, but a lot of men started paying attention....
A Brief History of The Decline - Enter TRP
TRP came next. TRP took what were essentially just bar tactics and built a cultural framework by which to explain the entire sexual marketplace. The Red Pill is an explanation of effective mating strategy in the context of culture - the "Why" behind the "How". Core PUA concepts like oneitis, Game, and the like had an underpinning truth that united them all together - men's old sexual strategy didn't work, and needed to be replaced. The foundational post, that you all better have fucking read ("Introduction" on the sidebar), spells this out: modern feminism is actually female sexual strategy that,
puts women into the best position they can find, to select mates, to determine when they want to switch mates, to locate the best dna possible, and to garner the most resources they can individually achieve.
Women had to fight back against Game - so they sought to feminize the entire conversation around the sexual marketplace. Through shaming (ever seen someone get "blown up on social media"?), silencing (do you look around or hide your phone when you open TRP in public?), and downright making the ENTIRE CONVERSATION verboten, men started to lose ground fast. There's a reason there are literally two guys (Rollo and rian_stone) who associate their face with this place on a regular basis - TRP is an instruction manual written in a man's language on how to reject what a feminized society has claimed is the truth.
The TRP truths are ugly: she isn't yours, it's just your turn. She is ready and willing to dismiss you once a better prospect is available. Worse, in her mind you will have always been a loser when she decides to ditch you! Faced with this awful reality, TRP responds with painful aphorisms: develop abundance mentality and ditch oneitis to overcome the fact that she will leave. Lift and improve yourself to become as attractive as possible, so that you may become the prize. Be the prize to fix yourself, not for the girls. Practice quantity over quality, because quality is actually just your delusion. AWALT, right?
TRP is so painful to swallow because....it works. And TRP aware men will take what works over what feels good.
So Where Are We Now? AND WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!
The modern first world or Western society enriches itself by creating abundance - we have vast quantities of food, incredible toys, and a world of information literally at our fingertips. However, the first world only achieved this by making these abundances CHEAP. You can all afford iPhones, refrigerators, and cars. Walmart and Amazon have literally everything - EVERYTHING at a price designed to fuck the rest of the ecosystem. Even debt is cheap nowadays...
The great engine of commerce then turned its eye to dating. Tinder, Bumble, and Match dot com became profitable by cheapening sex, and by extension, human relationships. Much like McDonald's made a multi-billion dollar empire by turning consumers to fast food from nutritional, home-cooked food, Tinder is building another gilded throne out of commoditizing human beings. Here's a menu of people - you can talk to them if they think you're attractive too. This spilled over into the rest of the sexual marketplace, now we're all eating the mating equivalent of frozen pizza every meal wondering why we feel like shit.
In Order to Choose Happiness, Accept That There is No External Solution
The nagging existential question in PUA is "So what's next? Isn't there more to life than just getting laid?", but TRP never really became the answer to that question. TRP is designed to do these things:
- Get you laid
- Ancillary 2nd wave goal: get you laid and navigate society without fucking yourself up emotionally, financially, or otherwise
At the end of the day, that is the fundamental core of this place. Does it explore a deeper understanding of why All Dating Is Like That? Yes. Does it delve into topics beyond pure game? Yes. Can it solve your existential crises? NO. In fact, accepting TRP will create or exacerbate your existential crises RE: finding happiness in your relationships.
I am only giving two pieces of advice in this post:
- Erase the pedestal of "quality" in your relationships until you have sufficient quantity to start forming you own idea about what "quality" is
- Don't fall into the trap that TRP philosophy extends past achieving sexual success
To find happiness, or at least minimize suffering, you have to figure out your goals for yourself and achieve them. There's lots of scientific and other literature that affirmatively states heterosexual men need to have sex with women as part of that, so lean on TRP heavily in that area. Elsewhere, what's written here for the most part is like all advice - meaningless until applied, and application does not extend to the mental consequences of your actions.
Putting that last point another way, applying TRP and achieving sexual success won't solve your problems, it'll just solve ONE problem. Coping with the rest of reality is up to you - some advice you'll find is "enjoy the decline", "GFTOW and build a harem", "find a traditional partner and have children with her", or "check out entirely". Like all advice - meaningless until applied, and application does not extend to the mental consequences of your actions. You will have to choose to be happy with your choices.
- Dating does in fact suck
- PUA led to TRP, which answered the "Why" behind the "How" of Game
- Dating sucks because competing male/female sexual strategies have been co-opted by capitalism
- TRP will create or worsen your existential problems because it is a roadmap to getting laid, and it actually working will painfully reshape your beliefs about dating
- TRP is not the solution to the hole left by that reshaping - only you can figure out what the end game is
- Make an active decision to be happy with your end-game goals, and you'll actually be happy; but it's up to you