I've got quite a few points and rhetorical questions here that I'll try to unpack in a coherent way.
The Problem of Attachment
First, I know a major philosophy on here is why you shouldn't get attached too quickly to girls, if at all. I don't have this problem, in fact I believe I'm a so-called "Avoidant Attachment" type personality, which basically means I tend to withdraw when others show signs of attachment (there are supposedly three or four attachment types depending on where you read). It's a blessing and a curse.
It's a blessing in the red pill sense because I naturally give off a vibe of non-neediness, and I enjoy being highly independent. But it's also a curse because I am aware that there are girls who genuinely get feelings for me, but as a result I usually just pull away; I know this can emotionally hurt people and because I'm not a sociopath it makes me sad to think about, but I really can't help it.
(I should point out it's not like I shun away anyone interested in me. It's just extra resistance, and I can overcome it if I'm actually interested enough back. But if I'm on the fence, it's much more pronounced, and usually leads to me losing all interest.)
This often reminds of a past post by someone talking about The Sadness Phase. It's especially difficult for girls who I didn't really feel a connection with at all, and didn't plan on seeing again, but they seem to very quickly fall for me. These aren't dumb sluts or whatever, but rather what I'd consider "genuine" "good" girls. Hopefully you just know what I mean by that.
So it kind of leads to this cognitive dissonance, where I don't want to see them again, but I feel like shit for blowing them off. In the end I'm not going to do something I don't want to. The 'sadness' comes from imagining they'll probably spend a decent amount of time trying to figure out "what they did wrong" or "what's wrong with them". It's like I'm punishing them for trying. This is based on personal experience from my blue-pill days on the flip side, and seeing it as a third party.
Further, there's girls who are happy to be plates, and I like being friends with them, but I know that deep down they'd really want to be in a relationship. Again it's like I know it will never happen, but they still hold out hope, which kinda also makes me sad. It's like, are we any better than the women who keep orbiters around? I guess it doesn't matter, that's just how life works, it's not fair. But it doesn't change the shitty feeling.
I guess the point of this post is to open a discussion based on yall's experiences and how you deal with this / prevent it (if possible). I'd be surprised if I was the only one here.
Just off the top of my head, I think the only thing you could do to prevent this is to pre-select for girls who are basically only in it for the physical relationship, but obviously then you wouldn't really want to be friends with them. I also think a mistake I make is to not tell them straight up from the beginning that I'm not interested in commitment. Maybe there's no solution at all, it's just another thing to deal with.
Curious of your thoughts.