In the RP circles it's often theorized that, through evolution, women have developed this sexual strategy of seeking an "alpha" to fuck, and a "beta" to provide for them. In this post I'll try share a quick thought I've had recently (which, to the best of my knowledge, hasn't been discussed anywhere) which tries to explain women's behavior from a different point of view. I am not saying that the prevailing theory is wrong. I am saying some more complex things might be hidden under the surface.
A conscious attraction is something a woman can rationalize about. When you ask her to describe the ideal guy, these are the things you will often hear her say. When it comes to marriage or LTRs, which are a calculated decision, women will often seek out this sort of attraction since they will know, on a conscious level, that it will benefit them in the long term. This includes:
- Emotional intelligence
- Sense of humor
A subconscious attraction is a primal, animalistic form of attraction which is rarely beneficial to modern day women in the long term, but still exists as a sort of evolutionary relic. These are traits that used to be critical when choosing a mate, and thus have been engrained in women's subconscious, primal mind. They will often have a hard time rationalizing just why these things are attractive. When it comes to sex, which is inherently an animalistic, irrational, short term thing, women will seek out these traits. This includes:
- Social status
This isn't a black or white kind of thing, every attractive trait you can think of will probably fit somewhere on a conscious/subconscious spectrum. I would argue that where in the spectrum a trait lies, correlates with when in the evolutionary process it became beneficial in selecting mates. For example, having good facial symmetry is probably very far on the subconscious side (exists in virtually every animal), while having lots of resources (money) is somewhere in between (women are instinctively drawn to it, but they can also rationalize why it's important to them).
WHEN IS SOMETHING ATTRACTIVE
Instead of asking "is this alpha? is this beta? is this attractive?", I think we should ask "when is this attractive?". When it comes to making rational decisions, which require a lot of thought (like deciding to get married) the conscious attraction traits will be crucial. But when it comes to something like having a one night stand no one will ever know about, then these are thrown out the window, and are replaced with the subconscious traits. And then of course, you have everything in between, when a varying mix of these attraction types is taken into account, depending on the context and how much thought is put into the decision.
ALPHA FUCKS BETA BUCKS
Back to women's sexual strategy and "alpha fucks vs. beta bucks". We often put men in these 2 buckets. The beta provider is this loyal, friendly nice guy who brings in the resources, while the alpha pool boy is this young, shredded and confident guy who ends up fucking his wife. In this scenario what we have is one guy who has a lot of conscious attraction (which got him the marriage) but lacks any subconscious attraction. The other guy has a lot of subconscious attraction (which got him the pussy) but lacks any conscious attraction. I would argue that this is not a binary thing, rather, every man has a mix of several attractive traits, some are conscious, some are subconscious, and the mix each of us has (or displays) is evaluated differently, depending on when (or, in which context) it is evaluated (and to some degree, who does the evaluation). Of course, some guys will have very little of both (incels), while others will have a lot of both. I think that, in order to maximize our success with women, we should try to have as many attractive traits as possible, both conscious and subconscious ones.
Let me explain this with a non-sexual analogy. When I buy my food for the week, I purposely get only the healthy stuff: vegetables, chicken, eggs, oats, etc. I do this consciously, because I know that this is good for me. I've read about it. I've seen the effect on my body. I know, rationally, that this is what I need in my kitchen. But, I'll admit, every now and then I'll indulge myself in a bucket of ice cream. Why? Fuck if I know! Perhaps, our ancestors needed sugars as easy-to-consume energy sources, and as a species we have developed a reward mechanism for it. It tastes fucking great! And even though I know I shouldn't eat it, I still do when I feel like it. Now, this doesn't mean that I have a strategy. There is no subconscious algorithm here telling me "step 1: buy chicken, step 2: eat ice cream" (although, an alien examining my behavior might theorize that there is a hidden strategy). There's nothing like that. There's just me being human, and as my levels of conscious decision making change, depending on context, so are the things I choose to eat. Now, if I had ice cream that was also healthy for me... I would eat the fuck out of that, every day, all day. This is what we should aspire to be.