Women have a different version of reality (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Mailman7

So I’ve been on/off seeing a girl for a couple of months now. Just causally dating. Nothing serious. She’s cute, but she got super intense very quick. Lots of texting and wanting me to come round etc. I don’t mind it, but I’m not 100% sold on her so I’m not completely emotionally invested. Nevertheless we both tell each other that we’re not seeing anyone else.

Last weekend I say about going round to hers and she agreed. I end up not hearing from her so I assume she’s still at her parents. I wasn’t particularly bothered, but i did find it a little odd. Then last Thursday I notice she is very quiet, so I shoot her a text to ask her if everything is ok. She responds that I’m not paying her enough attention and not making an effort. I actually start to question myself and started feeling bad that I probably wasn’t paying her enough attention. To cut a long story short she effectively wanted to end things. Fine by me. I didn’t give a fuck and carried on with my life.

Cut forward to tonight and I get a text from a mutual friend to say she has been seeing multiple guys. Clearly while we were still seeing each other. I bring it up with her. She doesn’t deny it. Argument ensues.

What bothers me is that she deliberately made me feel bad so she could justify fucking other dudes. If my friend hadn’t of said anything I would’ve been thinking for the rest of my life this falling apart was all my fault for ‘not making enough effort’.

She shifted all the blame onto me so she could create a reality for herself whereby I was all at fault and she could do whatever she wanted guilt free.

[–]dbz0x 128 points129 points  (3 children)

For a women, anything can be rationalized, no matter how immoral. It’s good to stay aware of this in any engagement with a women.

[–]iLLprincipLeS 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Females will hamster and make up any excuse to cope emotionally and escape guilt. She knows she's a whore and she knows this would make her look bad so instead of assuming responsibility for her actions she will make the man look like the bad person.

[–]FerrusMan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She also doesn't want to feel bad, and can avoid that by making it his fault.

[–]seaguy87 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This guy gets this. For a woman, anything can be rationalized because what she feels is what's her truth.

[–]Pittbullbill 114 points115 points  (2 children)

Before i took the red pill i can distinctly remember about a dozen or so old divorced guys all tell me the same thing about women, almost word for word " no matter how good you been or what you do, it's always your fault and your a dirty motherfucker"

[–]SasquatchMcKraken 19 points20 points  (1 child)

They are god-level masters of propaganda with the target audience being their own minds.

[–]Saberinbed 89 points90 points  (2 children)

Don’t feel bad for playing women.

They are rutheless and won’t hesitate to play you. Only care about you, your friends, and your family in this lifetime.

[–]1TimmyTurnersNuts 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Amen. Family, and close friends. Everyone else, fuck em

[–][deleted] 309 points310 points  (32 children)

"she is very quiet" aka not initiating contact. So you text her to find out why and unsurprisingly it's your fault. Women taking zero responsibility for their actions is nothing new. They will never own their own shit. This dynamic you have going on with her has veered off the desired path. As a man you should always be the one being chased. If she is not chasing you, you can assume 100% correctly that she's chasing someone else. If she hasn't texted you in a while, don't go snooping to find out why. You know why. Ghost her and next her. If she never texts you again, then you never talk to her again. And that's ok, because she is easily replaceable.

[–]LotBuilder 113 points114 points  (21 children)

When they go quiet and you ghost them, they will always circle back around when the new guy upsets them or loses their interest. They come back like nothing ever happened.

[–]sebastianconcept 32 points33 points  (17 children)

I’m in a stage where a couple of plates went silent. I’m ghosting one (~7) and started to ghost the other one (~9). We’ll see if they come later. The first one, already started to watch many of my Instagram stories again after disappearing for about 3 months (which BTW Instagram stories are an unprecendently great way to read signals of their covert interest). To be honest I’m interested in this 9 fitness model to come back to keep her as an active plate but not sure if that can happen, she has tons of offer. Anyway... I’m programming myself to just “keep walking”

[–]DTS96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This right here. Recently started talking to a chick who’s bangin’. We setup a date for Sunday the Wednesday before. She dipped out around late Thursday night, Friday morning. Didn’t block me on anything and actively watched me stay busy thru Snapchat and Insta. Ghosted her all the way thru Sunday. Hit the beach up Monday for Labor Day and sure enough 5PM that night she writes me a novel about this bullshit and that. Tell her I’ll call her in a min (manipulate the situation to take charge and remind her I’m busy and don’t have time for that shit but am interested in going out). She’s been asking to FaceTime and talk since. Arranged another date for Saturday around 3:30. She’s already brought up skipping to Netflix and chill. Point in case, lead, take charge, be available by not being available. The more you remind a woman their presence isn’t necessary, the more desirable you become. Dad bod and all. Helps that I have a bomb ass job that actually keeps me beyond busy and am active in other things after work.

[–]Afrofreak1 2 points3 points  (15 children)

Wait...how do you know she's watching your Instagram stories? Am I missing something? o.O

[–]morexel 60 points61 points  (7 children)

It literally says who viewed your stories on the image. Mildly concerned for you.

[–]Afrofreak1 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Ah its ok, I've never posted to an Instagram story in my life. I was more so thinking about whose stories I have(n't) viewed.

[–]morexel 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Great way to build social proof. Seems to be a lot better than snapchat too. Try it out next time you climb a volcano.

[–]destraht 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Volcanoes are just hipster mountains.

[–]Pestilence1911 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pingu's are the real hipster mountains.

Its exactly like a pimple, but with ice and permafrost.

[–]tempolaca 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Dude, instagram show your histories one after another, she doesn't look specifically at yours. Sorry to bring you the news.

[–]randomTATRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not if she picks stories to watch. I just scroll through IG until I see those thumbnails, if there's something I really want to see, I click on a specific story and then leave. Don't want to make bitches think I really follow them. Fuck giving them attention for free.

[–]cbennitto 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Yup the ladies know when you creepin, better wise up! lol

[–]sebastianconcept 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After watching many, I might comment on one something that creates no expectation and is positive so can’t be rejected. Then nothing else until I read opportunity improvements (maybe combine it with offline contact if you know the girl). What you can get from this is to keep the ice broken, not much else unless she shows you an enthusiastic emotional reaction

[–]sebastianconcept 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Hehe yeah. Go to any of your stories and on the lower left you’ll see some little thumbnails of users that had watched that story. Tap on them and you’ll see the list of them. The one on top is the most interested in your stories. If a girl goes passionate about you, and is a decent Instagram user (I mean in terms of usage frequency) she’ll be on top.

[–]male_specimen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The people you see appearing at the top of the viewers list is who you engage with the most.

[–]oBlackPlasmao 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think that use to be the case a while ago, now it shows it in the order in which who saw the story first. I avg around 70-80 views on my story. Who knows, anyways this girl I use to have a crush on a few years ago is usually one of the first to view my stories consistently.

[–]sebastianconcept -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well, now you KNOW she can’t take her eyes out of you. She wants :)

[–]idrwierd 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Isn’t there a Seinfeld episode where George quits his job and does the same thing?

[–]WiseBeardy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Quit and then came back like nothing happened? It was based on Larry David doing the same thing at SNL. Epic move.

[–]Aesthetic_God__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn that is an undeniable truth.

[–]tempolaca 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"she is very quiet" aka not initiating contact. So you text her to find out why and unsurprisingly it's your fault.

That's how all my breakups start. They made up the craziest of things "you did this, you did that". They want to breakup and justify it with the silliest of things.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]FerrusMan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    As well as 99.99% of the rest of us here

    [–]PM_Me_OK 11 points12 points  (4 children)

    If you're smart and clever enough, you can wise a girl up with the gift of gab. Seriously. Its not what you say but how you say it. For her to take responsibility and act the way we want girls to act, we have to have the ability to blow their minds with pretty incredible explanations to things. It can be done. Ive done it. You have to be really good at getting something to stick to them, that hits them at their heart, their emotions, and their logical brain all at the same time. And yes this means calling them out for things and then executing a really good explanation. It cant just be logical. Words. It has to be almost at genius level good and clever, that hits at their every being. Where they will feel ashamed for ever attempting to do those messed up things again. They will be against those things and not support them anymore.

    [–]Dravous 5 points6 points  (3 children)

    can you give an example conversation of this?

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–]ThrowFader 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm glad people are starting to get it

      [–]fischbrot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      i copied your response and made a bi weekly repeating reminder on my phone that pops up.... showing your words.

      it's important for me to be reminded

      [–]ethical_pa 65 points66 points  (1 child)

      This is classic. Thanks for the reminder. AWALT.

      I had a married women wanting to sleep with me. I could see her starting to spin the story (her hamster) that she was lonely because her provider was busy working his ass off to pay for the nice house she is now enjoying and raising her kids in. I didn't do it; I don't need the drama.

      But you could see that in an evolutionary context, he (the BB) would be raising and providing for the offspring of an AF.

      IT'S NEVER THEIR FAULT. You can't expect anything else or get mad about it. They can't help but think with their uterus.

      EDIT: I guess this is a bit of humble brag. But my point is, if she's feeling lonely, anything goes and it's never her fault. If you ever feel lonely as a man: fuck you. Another reminder to be strong. Be stoic.

      [–]Orbiter45 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      But my point is, if she's feeling lonely, anything goes and it's never her fault. If you ever feel lonely as a man: fuck you.

      As men, we are supposed to be the ones with the power. We are suppose to have the ability to change our lives to make things work. Women try to bond with such a man, and consider this a minimum qualification of being a man.

      Think about it, one of the big Feminism themes, is that they are strong and independant, able to do everything a man can do. Its this wierd duality, where they admire and denigrate men's abilities.

      Being the man that ->can<- is the core of confidence.

      [–]jinglebells89 50 points51 points  (0 children)

      Life Hack: Understand that women will NEVER own up to their shit. EVER.

      Stop expecting it. Internalize this truth. Then you will be a-lot happier.

      [–]FratboyOnReddit 67 points68 points  (3 children)

      Bro. One of the biggest rules around here is don't EVER listen to what SHE SAYS but what SHE DOES.

      Actions speak louder than words 10/10 times.

      [–]tempolaca 38 points39 points  (1 child)

      This. It's stupid to argue with a woman about feelings. You won't convince her of anything, it's like fighting a hydra, you win an argument and 5 more take his place. After some months you find out she met other guy.

      She responds that I’m not paying her enough attention

      Don't listen to this. She ghosted you because you don't excite her anymore.

      [–]randomTATRP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      It's stupid to argue with a woman about feelings. You won't convince her of anything, it's like fighting a hydra, you win an argument and 5 more take his place.

      This is SO true. Recently I had a fight with my mom over borrowing some money if I know I'll be able to pay it off soon. She argued that I should rather be owing money to the bank than to a friend. It isn't logical. I'd say it's more logical to give interest to your friend than to a corporation, quid pro quo. In that fight, she brought up 5 more arguments which we fought about for like 15 minutes. Haven't spoken a word since then.

      [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 26 points27 points  (0 children)

      She shifted all the blame onto me so she could create a reality for herself whereby I was all at fault and she could do whatever she wanted guilt free.

      Get used to it, this is normal

      [–]le_king_falcon 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      Women have an innate ability to use feelings/bullshit to change their own view on something to the point that they are 100% sure their lies are true.

      All women do it, ask any man blue, red or otherwise and they'll have had an argument where the woman they are arguing has rationalised away her fault.

      For women their reality is whatever they perceive it to be despite the cold hard facts. Perception is something that's clouded by emotions, personal biases, subterfuge and stupidity. Just so happens that women can 100% cloud their own perception and then believe their own shit.

      [–]markinsinz7 16 points17 points  (4 children)

      u/wobbleelbbow this is the kind if story I was talking about. Fuckin shady shitt. And some guy of those multiple guys is going to eventually LTR her. I see this all around.

      And this guy won't be some beta schmuck shitt no he might as well be some guy who smashes other dudes at his local mma gym. If he however knew about her fuck-arounding before accepting the push for exclusivity then he would have shown her the door.

      [–]wobbleelbbow 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      OP and his girl were not exclusive. End of story.

      In this scenario OP is the one who fucked up here and caught feelings. 99 percent of the time it is a man's fault that a relationships fails, no matter what a woman does, it's a man's fault since he should be the leader. Blaming women makes no sense simply because they have no sense of responsibility. Treat women accordingly, as children, and you will live a happier life.

      He didn't have abundance mentality. Check one. He caught feelings. Check too. He didn't vet properly. Check three. He overinvested. Check four. He didn't read the sidebar. Check five.

      I know that it sounds "not fair" that men are to blame, but that's how the world is, double standards should be accepted just like the double standards of "key and a lock" parable (promiscuous woman is a slut, promiscuous man is a stud).

      That's why I tend to put so much emphasis on men and put the blame on them first and let them figure out what they did wrong. You can never trust a woman. Trust is alien concept to them.

      [–]dingleburry_joe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      This happens so often that it's hilarious, and the cycle continues. It's like no matter what they always have an out. Always some dude who'll jump in. That's why you don't ever give in, you don't break frame, and not afraid to leave. It's just your turn.

      [–]omega_dawg93 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      "anyone that can't control their words and can't control their emotions is not worthy of my respect."

      i'm guessing that this woman is super submissive. those types NEED an excuse to slut it up; so they often play the 'victim card' hard.

      she needed an emotional excuse to justify her NATURAL behavior. ALWAYS give women the opportunity to show you EXACTLY who they are, and when they do, believe what you see and hear.

      iow, don't MAKE them into your ideal.

      walk away and don't look back. this women is seeking attention thru the use of her mouth, ass, and vagina.

      [–]morexel 44 points45 points  (16 children)

      If you're not exclusive you're not exclusive. Don't create an argument over it.

      Also if you are "exclusive" you're about a coin flip on truly being exclusive. Enjoy the decline.

      (fuck I'm a cynical cunt.)

      [–]hulk_hogans_alt 22 points23 points  (12 children)

      No you’re right. He shouldn’t have fallen into an argument.

      [–]Cgbgjr 4 points5 points  (8 children)

      Worse than that, by saying he would be exclusive he just sabotaged himself. Saying nothing is always a better alternative--let her hamster free!

      [–]hulk_hogans_alt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Exactly. But hopefully he learned his lesson. I got the impression from the post that he was mildly surprised.

      [–]FerrusMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He was surprised I think. He's coming to grips with logic mode being default for men, and feelings mode being default for women.

      [–]loIwtf 1 point2 points  (5 children)

      But when they ask, you can’t just say nothing

      [–]Cgbgjr 1 point2 points  (4 children)

      Must the king respond to this subjects? Must a parent respond to a child? You _never_ have to speak if you don't want to--just do the Clint Eastwood smile and shut the f up.

      [–]originaltransvaginal 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      I get what this other guy is trying to say. I was raised blue and often do blue things because it makes me feel good to treat women as an equal. As capable. But you're tactic is truly the correct response and here's why.

      They'll sabotage the answer you give. They will sabotage that sentiment. Yes, it'd be lovely to reply and say you're exclusive. It'd be fantastic to say you love them back when they say it. Because another human being who you are spending time on should be worthy of those sentiments. They should be grateful that you value them so much.

      But she will not. She will ruin these situations by being self destructive irrationally. The duality is that she wants you to love her, to respect her. But will disrespect you for allowing yourself to be so open. So understandable and caring.

      You simply cannot give in. You cannot allow for the kind of respect and decency you were raised to give. It's in her best interest that you do not. She will love you more when you hold strong. Might as well give her what will work. Just know, internally, that you are capable of being that kind, caring, respectful human being, but that most people would benefit more from you being stoic.

      [–]ArdAtak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Just know, internally, that you are capable of being that kind, caring, respectful human being, but that most people would benefit more from you being stoic.

      This has been my battle, as of late. I'm naturally sentimental and kind and enjoy giving women the feelios they crave so much. I know that at times it can be detrimental to frame.

      [–]loIwtf -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t think that is practical at all

      [–]Cgbgjr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Experiment with it on your next date--whenever she shit tests you (asks you a question that makes you uncomfortable or that you don't know how to answer), just try it. Example: my wife just shit tested me the other day with "you look terrible". (I have never looked better in my whole life, btw.) I was silent, gave her the Clint Eastwood smile, and she moved on to another subject within five seconds. Just try it--you can thank me later. :-)

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


        [–]hulk_hogans_alt 12 points13 points  (1 child)

        I don’t see any cheating though, that’s what I mean. Besides, you gotta assume women will pull shit like this and sometimes just straight up lie about it.

        [–]Morphs_ 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        This thread underlines that. I've had this happen in the past, exclusive means little.

        Yesterday a plate of mine told me she wanted me to be exclusive. She doesn't want to share me. Now the thing is, she lives an hour away and I have to visit her because she's homebound with her 3 kids. Not a biggie for me, the sex is great and all. But it struck me that I could just say I'm exclusive while I'm actually not. But I guess I'm too honest for that.

        [–]tall-lame-name 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        Admittedly this is my first response ever on TRP, but even I know that some goof thinking about being “honestly exclusive with a woman with 3 kids” is stupid. Read the sidebar... as they say. More importantly... don’t give out advice when you’re the one that’s gonna need it as soon as the last kid graduates.

        [–]Morphs_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        I guess I left out the part where I said that exclusivity is not an option for me.

        [–]AshyLarry27 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        Had a similar situation a few years ago. What made things worse was a friend worked with her so the idea she would ghost knowing we had mutual friends was off putting. Fast forward 2 months later, I am already seeing someone else. I bring my plate to my friend's big get together for his bday. He invited her and her friends, and I came with my plate. We had a group of female friends show up too. Funny thing was our female friends talked to this girl and said something along the lines about how I had a new girlfriend which caught her off guard. When we saw each other, we made small talk. Later on when she was drunk enough, she gave me the same "you were't giving me attention" BS too. I never learned if there were other guys involved, but AWALT is a thing. Worth it to later see her crying about it and the new girl I had at the time.

        [–]ZenithPill 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        You fell into her frame. You weren't invested, so she tried harder, got your investment, then, evidently she branch swung?

        I actually start to question myself and started feeling bad that I probably wasn’t paying her enough attention.

        Fine by me. I didn’t give a fuck and carried on with my life.

        Saying IDGAF doesn't make you alpha. It's better that you acknowledge that you do give a fuck and that you shouldn't. This affected you too much. She felt she wasn't getting enough attention, and you start feeling bad. Maybe you didn't give her enough attention. So what? Were you busy? I don't know. Why'd she get with you if you don't give her enough attention? Did you give her more attention before you stopped seeing other people? Did you change that? Ask yourself these questions instead of feeling bad.

        Were you not spinning plates? What does she add to your life? Why did you get with her? How did it get to the point where you are getting self conscious over if you're giving her enough attention. We don't even know if you were giving her more or less before you started dating. It sounds like you didn't have many other options and lacked abundance, so you reluctantly entered the relationship.

        This just sounds like an AskTRP post. Can an endorsed member let me know if I'm off base. This just leaves a weak taste in my mouth.

        [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        Argument ensues.

        I see where you went wrong.

        What bothers me is that she deliberately made me feel bad so she could justify fucking other dudes.

        This just in: women lie, 'cep it doesn't 'count' as a lie because they don't "believe" that they are lying, m'kay?

        Translation: NO HAMSTER LEFT BEHIND!!!

        [–]omega_dawg93 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        all of you young(er) dudes better read the above over & over again. i'll repeat it here: "it doesn't count," is real to women; they alter their reality to fit their behavior-making it the truth (in their minds).

        they will fuck other guys and literally say, "this doesn't count, ok," while taking a DNA blast to the uterus or face. and when they're done consuming cum, they'll lie to your face.

        example: "i didn't make love to that guy." then, 5 min later via text, she'll let her gf's know that she FUCKED the guy. in her mind, she didn't lie. believe that. making love involves emotions... fucking doesn't. the guy was just a fuck so "it didn't count," because in the big picture, she didn't have any emotions for him... her emotions are for YOU. lol.

        i have 3 sisters... i know the hamster well, and i've seen him on that wheel spinning out of control over & over again. women can justify ANY negative behavior away. ANY.

        [–]Coroshi 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Nevertheless we both tell each other that we’re not seeing anyone else.

        A mistake.

        and started feeling bad that I probably wasn’t paying her enough attention.

        Emotional investment from your side, right there.

        I would’ve been thinking for the rest of my life this falling apart was all my fault for ‘not making enough effort’.

        A whole lot of emotional investment in fact.

        She shifted all the blame onto me so she could create a reality for herself whereby I was all at fault and she could do whatever she wanted guilt free.

        Solipsism at its finest.

        You gave too many fucks. Learn from it, improve and try again.

        [–]glasgow_polskov 6 points7 points  (2 children)

        Ha! I remember my ex going out of town with a female friend and male acquaintance (of mine at first, by that time equally hers). They ended up partying real hard, and she made out all evening with a friend of her brother, in front of our two mutual friends. She of course had to tell me, given this was so public.

        She never apologized. All she could say was that she was so "not that type of girl" that it could only be my fault, for not making her love me enough so her drunk self would not do that.

        Saddest part is I brushed it off. And it only got worse and worse.

        [–]omega_dawg93 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        tell her, "if it's MY fault that you can't control your vagina, let's make it official that your pussy is my property. we can then discuss using it to make $$$... for us."

        this broad actually blamed YOU for not making her love you enough. that's the hamster dancing in all its glory right there. what a joke.

        [–]ProFriendZoner 7 points8 points  (4 children)

        Sorry, I have to call you out on this.

        Incongruence is when the words don't match the actions.

        Casually dating. Nothing serious.

        She shit tests you and you fall for it hook, line, & sinker.

        She breaks it off.

        You "don't give a fuck and carry on with your life".

        You find out she was seeing multiple guys when you were "Casually dating. Nothing serious."

        You then bring it up to her and an argument ensues.

        Wait ... what? I thought it was casual dating, nothing serious, and you didn't give a fuck?

        She made YOU feel bad?

        You made yourself feel bad. Sounds like you had the feels.

        And what's with the "not making enough effort" part? For someone you were seeing casually, with nothing serious, and not giving a fuck?

        It sounds to me like it wasn't casual (on your part anyways) and that it WAS something serious (on your part) and that you did give a fuck that she was giving out fucks. (Defense mechanism on your part to say you dgaf).

        FRAME. It's yours to keep or discard. Sounds like you are lacking in it. (As I am and numerous others in this community. That's why we're here.) Read up on it. Practice it. Get it down.

        Congruence is a part of it. It's when the words and actions match.

        [–]FerrusMan -1 points0 points  (3 children)

        Did you miss the part where he said they agreed to be exclusive? not "casually dating" as you put it.

        [–]ProFriendZoner 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Did you miss this part?

        "So I’ve been on/off seeing a girl for a couple of months now. Just causally dating. Nothing serious."

        [–]FerrusMan 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Really? What did you read the first line and just stop?

        [–]ProFriendZoner -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        You obviously either didn't read it or didn't comprehend what he wrote. Your trolling is weak.

        [–]hulk_hogans_alt 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        Lesson learned. Don’t be surprised when this shit goes down.

        [–]FerrusMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yep this is the normal, not the exception.

        [–]Emmanuel_Elias 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Yup. Everything she says negative which cannot be based on any fundamentals is most likely bs. Deep down she knows this however will always go by her Hypergamy

        [–]ljozmo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Hey OP, why would you proceed to bring it up with her, after you'd already ended things? Rule of plenty dude. Right here, this post holds no value except of what not to do. So you've figured out AWALT theory based on this one plate. She broke it off, don't show any more attention than you already have.

        [–]RoninUnderground 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Lots of women do this, in fact it's basically expected of them. Why do you think the stereotype of the guy always being wrong exists? Women relieve themselves of agency so that they can never be seen at fault when they fuck shit up or feel bad about their choices. Often they'd rather deal with the cognitive dissonance of lying to themselves if it means everyone else thinks that the woman's problems are purely circumstantial.

        You probably shouldn't have even confronted her about it, accepted the information from your mutual friend and learned from it as a cautionary tale. Instead now you may have damaged your relationship with whoever this mutual friend is because you used that information to stir drama.

        [–]FerrusMan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Welcome to the rabbit hole. Ain't it grand?

        As many others have said, the default mode is that it's the man's fault. The really hard thing to come to grips with, is that she actually believes it's your fault. You guys agreed to see each other exclusively? Well that's how she felt at the time. Once you start to insert the "I feel right now that" before every statement she makes, it will help, a little.

        In the end you'll be glad she's gone out of your life, because it was only a matter of time for this to happen.

        "I bring it up with her. She doesn’t deny it. Argument ensues" Right after the "doesn't deny", is where you just walk out. She just admitted to cheating on you, it's over. No sense in arguing, getting upset with her, doesn't matter. Her actions have spoken. Maybe she'll feel regret, try to make up for it, who knows.

        [–]MrSixShot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Never let someone else make you feel bad. Man or woman, it’s usually a good sign of manipulation, she’s a moral warrior.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        This explains why the political left is so good at creating false realities and then making everyone believe them. Women vote for leftists. They are masters at this.

        [–]2chazthundergut 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        Sounds like you got sprung like a bear trap on some pussy and while you were busy being her texting buddy me and the boys were opening her up like a flower and dicking her down.

        Good luck out there dude.

        [–]PlzPunchMyFaceOff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        A lot of people have zero fucks to give about fucking with the heads of other people. Better to expect it from everyone than face the sometimes life-destroying consequences of being

        [–]Screamingmoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Um I think women are passive aggressive about everything and in-direct so maybe it was so weird unspoken reason that she took as a sign rom you that she was allowed so then “fuck multiple guys”

        [–]Screamingmoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I don’t think women really make much sense either though, I think women are trying to objectifying and self entitle themselves as due to feminism almost, I feel that’s what it is.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This is the nature of women. Get used to it.

        [–]SKRedPill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        More like a different version of reality depending on how she's feeling right now.

        [–]NikolaGeorgiev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Textbook Lightswitch effect.

        [–]deeselecter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Na she was fucking other dudes all along bro. Women just like to keep the narrative going that's why she could be giving pussyy free no consequence to one and expect another to put it on a pedestal. thats why when u meet em you start on the lowest leve lof mindfulness and investment and keep it there in the background while the niceties stay outfront. Never promise a woman exclusiveness no matter what the chemicals in your head say .No disney, you need to realise that as a man if u are looking for a respite in life look else where but not with the broad you with. You might get it with some but that should be a bonus to your game. Keep this in the back of your mind Like every struggle in life intersexual relationships is a struggle no half stepping

        [–]Ray_pinasses1210 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        A woman’s reality is how she “feels” Next time you get into an argument with a girl listen to what she says. It’s all “ I feel like...” Or “this is how I feel”

        What she “feels” and what’s actually true, rarely line up

        [–]RealisticKiwi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        It is not women only, but human trait.... If you have a gf and one or several side chicks you will also notice more flaws in your gf.

        [–]jonpe87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        A woman mind is a projection of her solypsism, the world must always be what is better for her, once you get that, it's like being close to a schizophrenic: 0 expectations that she will have any contat with reality, and if it happens it goes away very fast.

        Jesus I must write a book

        [–]Hviterev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Congrats! You discovered by experience hamstering and mental gymnastics.

        You made your mistake right...

        I actually start to question myself and started feeling


        The more you'll argue with women, the more you'll find out they use emotions as arguments, and it's a never fucking ending debate because it is not anchored in logic or facts.

        So next time, don't waste your time and have faith in your own ability to assess the situation.

        [–]largepaycheckaddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Typical AWALT behavior. She might be BPD or have some other neurotic condition going on.

        [–]askmrcia 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        What bothers me is that she deliberately made me feel bad so she could justify fucking other dudes. If my friend hadn’t of said anything I would’ve been thinking for the rest of my life this falling apart was all my fault for ‘not making enough effort’.

        This has been mentioned so many times on the internet that I'm sure every guy has experienced this at least once.

        Myself personally, I experienced this so many times that I lost count.. It's usually how all my relationships whether casual or serious, ends.

        They start fights with me for the dumbest reasons, say I don't do xyz or whatever.

        They do this to avoid blame. But every time a girl starts doing this, there is another guy or guys in the picture.

        No girl is going to break up without having someone else in the picture. None.

        The last girl who I was talking to for two months out of nowhere texts me that she wasn't happy where our relationship was. She accused me of looking unhappy when I'm around her.

        All of it was complete bs. There was nothing wrong with our relationship. However, everything changed when she went on some trip over the weekend.

        That's when I noticed her attitude changed. Put two and two together, she was baiting me to end the relationship so she can be with her new boyfriend.

        [–]Neo50 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Amen brother - it ALWAYS ends this way, and usually abruptly. I've seen it so many times that it no longer surprises me at all.

        If its casual dating - i.e. no deep feeling conversations, no I love you's, etc....then I've always assumed I'm one of several prospects. But more recently, I've realized that its safe to make the same assumption for serious/committed relationships too. They may say they 'love you', and there is 'no one else'....please, for god's sake, don't buy it - extremely dangerous to believe what they say. Because they will always have orbiters they are continually evaluating, consciously or not - don't assume for a second that a 'commitment' is what you would logically think it is.

        Moral of the story - keep your options open no matter what your relationship status, because I guarantee you she is.

        [–]dDiegoDLV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        we both tell each other that we’re not seeing anyone else...

        get a text from a mutual friend to say she has been seeing multiple guys. Clearly while we were still seeing each other.

        I hate twats like this. Had one a few years ago when I was much more BP that was sneaking around behind my back. She balled her eyes out the night I called her on the phone and ended it. My fault for trying to LTR a slut.

        [–]HasBeenVerifried 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This thread is a couple weeks old now but having just came across it, I had to throw in my ex's version of reality.
        She took off leaving me to raise our then 2 yr old. It wasn't a big deal because she was more like a live-in prostitute and a half-ass babysitter. Add to it that she was a pain in the ass to deal with and I was happy with it just being my boy and I. Fast forward 2.5 yrs later and no contact she serves me papers claims I'm not the father and I "kept her away." Judge uses HER discretion and scolds me (wtf?) and next thing I know I'm sharing joint custody with this child abandoning cunt! To make matters worse, stupid bitch judge took 2 years of all holiday time from me and gave it to someone who up a left her baby for her own selfish reasons. I still cant believe it.

        This was all 2 yrs ago. Since then, of course, she is highly offended when I use the truth against her whenever she plays like something is not fair. My response: "Wtf-ever, you KNOW as well as I do, that I'm the last person YOU should be talking to about what is fair or unfair. Tell your friend in the robe." She looked at me like I was crazy. She truly believes her lies.

        [–]UpperRedSide 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        The rationalization hamster has went to work.