Blue Pill ExampleDear Dad (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Cum_Victor

I have been a lurker and poster on this sub in the past. Who I am is not relevant, I’ve created this new account just for TRP. This sub has a lot of great material, especially on the SIDEBAR. Some of the material posted on here is just regurgitated trash. This may even be regurgitated trash for some, but I want to use this post for a specific demographic of TRP.

This post is for all of the men that I have seen on this sub that say “I wish my dad was not a beta bitch,” or some other line that you blame your father for not showing you how to be a man. I used to have this mindset, but as I continue to improve my life, my mindset on this topic has changed dramatically.

This is a letter to my own father. Some of you can relate to this, but I hope all of you can learn from this too.


Dear Dad,

It’s just after midnight and you are asleep. You have work in several hours, slaving away for a boss you do not like, a company you hate, just to provide for your family. You’ve sacrificed your happiness, your freedom, and independence to financially support your family. I recall one time you told me that, “raising a family and providing is just how it’s supposed to go.” According to yourself, this is the way a man should live his life. Back then, something in my head told me that this sounded dreadful. I witnessed my father come home from work every day and complain about how much he hates his job. This is what life for a man truly is?

While I do love you and mom, I cannot help but think, what happened to you? You and I have been spending a lot of time as of late, discussing career advice. I am entering finance and will be taking various tests for licenses, etc.You were telling me how at my age, you wish you were able to take several certification tests to further your own career goals. You did not and live with that regret.

Instead of paying for certifications and courses that could help further your career goals and aspirations, you sacrificed your own dreams for her “dreams and career goals.” Mom wanted to take classes, certification tests, anything to maximize her income. Did she finish any of these courses or complete the certifications? Of course not, something always came up; a new excuse for every time she failed the course or just dropped out altogether. And to think with that wasted money, you could have further dictated your own career.

Instead of learning your lesson, you continued to do this. You kept touching the stove with your bare hand and kept getting burned. I understand why your chose not to confront mom about this or anything really. Our household operates in her FRAME. “Ask your mother.” I remember you telling me this as a child all the time. When we were out as a family it was, “whatever your mother wants to do.” Vacation? “Where ever your mother wants to go.”

She calls herself the head of the household, and is she wrong? If you enter our house, everything is decorated by her, pictures of her family are everywhere but no pictures of your family. Why is that? Every room has her touch, except your office/man cave. This house is not your castle, its her Queendom and you are the jester.

I know you were raised in a household with two other brothers and a sister with your mother. Your father was an alcoholic who walked out on all of you when you were young. Ever since then, you’ve told me countless times how you “refuse to be like your father.” He was a drunk and absent from the household. Being raised primarily by a single mother, it makes sense why you are the way you are. You looked at your own father and decided for yourself that you would be completely opposite of him.

However, is this how you imagined it to play all out? Nearing 60 years old, extremely overweight and unhealthy, working a job you hate, with a wife that has the authority of your household. You have recently cut contact with your siblings for one reason or another. You’ve stopped talking to both of your brothers because of disagreements they had with mom. I am not saying you should be side with them, but cutting contact with your own blood for a woman? You like to give a lot of shit to one family friend of ours, that his wife cut him off from his friends when they were dating and growing up. Are you blind that you have been cut off from your own family?

You and I never really had “the talk,” about girls and women when I was growing up as a teenager. I always wondered when we would have it, and eventually I came to the realization that this discussion was never going to happen. I was under the impression that all father’s and son’s have this talk, but I realize that you never had this talk with your own father. Because of this, I was left on my own to learn about the nature of women, and I knew next to nothing about that subject. Perhaps in a way, you wanted me to learn on my own, which brings me to my next point.

Dad, you remember when my oneitis rejected and dumped me last Summer? You and I went to the back, sat on the deck and were talking about it. I remember you telling me that, “she will come around don’t worry. You are great the way you are. Just continue being you. The one is out there.”

Do you remember that film The Matrix? You enjoyed it, nearly as much as I did. But do you remember the scene where Morpheus offers Neo the Blue Pill in one hand and the Red Pill in the other. “You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”

It took me awhile to realize this dad, but when we were sitting on the deck and talking about being dumped, “Just continue being you,” did not sit right with me. Being myself is what led me to being weak with no backbone when dealing with women, depressed, overweight, and unhappy. The advice you were offering me was to try and comfort me, but I did not find it comforting at all.

I woke up the next day, and took a long look at myself in the mirror. The person staring back at me, I hated him. He was being himself, and look where it got him, absolutely nowhere. I realized I had to change, I needed to find a purpose in life; a mission. I needed to get into shape and get my self-confidence back up. While looking at myself in the mirror, I kept thinking of the words you said and only now it has dawned on me, you were offering the Blue Pill. It’s the only thing you know from your upbringing and being raised in this society; Blue Pill conditioning and thought is all you know.

And dad, this is where I want to thank you. I want to thank you for offering me to continue to take the Blue Pill. As weird as that sounds dad, you offering me to continue taking the Blue Pill is what made me finally take the Red Pill. When you offered me that advice, I nodded in agreement and decided that you aren’t always right and it’s okay. I rejected the Blue Pill from your hand and went and found the Red Pill on my own. I realized that I needed to change to improve my life.

When I first took the Red Pill and reading books like The Rational Male I became angry at you and myself. I was angry at myself for not knowing the true nature of women, not knowing game, not knowing anything. I was also angry at you for not teaching me anything about anything at all. Reading these books was an eye opening experience for me, it made so much sense. The dots were beginning to connect, I was starting to see a pattern in my relationships with women and lack of friendships with men. I was pissed that I was lied to for my entire life, I was pissed that I was raised weak, I was pissed at the world. Most of this anger was misplaced because at the end of the day, my failures, my mistakes, my ignorance had one common factor: me.

Since taking the Red Pill, you’ve noticed the subtle differences in myself. You have commented on my weight loss, my academic performance and achievements, my change in mindset, and my discipline. I was angry at you for how you raised me for quite some time. But the more I thought about it, I am thankful for how you raised me.

However, since becoming Red Pill aware, just like you told yourself that you would not be like your father, I have decided to not be like you. I have learned what NOT to do by observing you throughout my entire life. I am going to do things that bring fulfillment to my life, not succumb to the societal pressures of being their definition of a “man,” or sacrifice my career, dreams and aspirations for anyone. Seeing you slave away every single day, while you aren’t truly appreciated in your own household and be disrespected daily does not appeal to me.

It took me along time to get over the anger towards you for raising me the way you did. It was only a few months ago that I truly came to realize you did not know any better, and it’s okay. Most men in society are exactly like you, but I have decided that I do not want to be like most men. Most men kill their own dreams, put the pussy on the pedestal, get married, work a job they hate, all because “that’s what men are supposed to do.” I decided that I did not want to be average, I want to be great.

Despite everything Dad, I still love and support you. I do not hold anything against you; you offering me the Blue Pill that day was a blessing in disguise. I had to take the Red Pill. You’ll never see this letter, or even know what the Red Pill is. There are times where I think about handing you my copy of The Rational Male or dropping some truth in conversation, but I realize that you must find the Red Pill yourself; maybe one day you will, but I will continue to sit back and learn what not to do from you, and because of that I am becoming a better man.

Thank you for being you. I will not make the same mistakes.


Your Son


TL;DR: No, read the fucking post because many of you can probably relate to this in some way.

[–]The_Red_Choice 50 points51 points  (0 children)

This is a solid read. I was lucky enough to have a father that told me the truth when my oneitis dumped me in high school. He told me that maybe she found someone better and that I should just look for the next. At the time I was angry at him for saying that, but that initial push to look at myself in the mirror changed my life drastically. We all have that moment where we realize it’s time to do something different so for that I also thank my dad.

[–]BoilingBleach 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sooo much what I feel. And also starting to wonder if my dad really is my dad. Who knows.

I still appreciate the man for his sacrifice and his example on how not to handle women.

[–]Devils_Duke 8 points9 points  (5 children)

I take issue when people say "be yourself" is not good advice. Granted, it's terrible advice in the way that Blue Pillers mean it (because they mean just try harder to be Blue Pill), but it's unhealthy to imply that you should be someone else. That's the wrong message. Becoming Red Pilled is not about becoming someone else. It's about becoming the real you that you were born to be, and being that person 100%. Blue Pill conditioning makes you kill or cover up certain parts of yourself, and shoves a bunch of other shit in there in its place. Red Pill is about removing all the bullshit and being who you actually are.

[–]magx01 2 points3 points  (3 children)

real you

No such thing. Humans are malleable moment to moment and act differently in different contexts. Ever read up on The Donner party? Anything you need to know about humanity is contained in that tale.

[–]Accidenture69 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Just read the Donner Party on Wikipedia - fuck....

[–]Devils_Duke -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes humans are affected and shaped by the conditions they are in (my example being Blue Pill conditioning). But that doesn't change who you are in a vacuum (with no conditioning whatsoever).

[–]BewareTheOldMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The countermeasure to the constant refrain of "just be yourself" is to do exactly that WITHOUT being the Beta-Orbiter, pushover-doormat, and emotional tampon who listens to women's problems with Bad Boys and basic jerks while in fact getting railed/bent over the couch by those very same Bad Boys and basic jerks.

Men must kill/eliminate the Beta-Male Blue Pill Conditioning while embracing Red Pill Concepts and behavior WITHOUT becoming an unfathomable jerk.

That's the trick. A combination of Nice Guy-Red Pill behavior and knowledge is an appropriate mix.

Being a Nice Guy is not a problem. Good on him if that's a man's natural personality, but there's absolutely no need to be the Beta-Orbiter Chump who gets everyone else's leftover and used-up women.

Have respect for yourself, focus most of your effort toward individual self-improvement and personal development, and DO NOT tolerate disloyalty (infidelity), disrespect, and/or disruption to your life from women - Full Stop.

[–]smokecheck1976 15 points16 points  (5 children)


What is the answer? Don't get married? Don't get in relationships? Don't have children? Pursue your own hedonistic desires straight to your own demise? Do you think "the red pill", or a dozen other modern philosophies including modern feminism is something new? Plato knew men whom ascribed to the exact same pablum that is being peddled today.

The thing about your parents' relationship, in fact the only thing that matters, is "Does this work for both of them?" If they are both happy, then it works for them. Your dad is overweight, 60, and working a job he hates. That is walking heart attack looking for a place to happen, and if you want to place a bet, it will be on a Monday between 7 and 8 AM. If you were to ask your mom if she would support him making an effort to improve himself, you may be surprised with an affirmative answer. After all, making a positive change doesn't matter when, you could be 20, you could be 80, you never know how much time you have left.

Life boils down to really just a few things. What do you want and value? What are you willing to tolerate? What sacrifices and risks are you willing to take? Do you want piles of money, a close relationship with your family, an incredibly fit body, a wife and kids, close friends, and interesting hobbies? I'm not saying you can't have it all, I will say there are only so may hours in a given day.

Do men (adults) sacrifice for their family? Yes. It means they keep the lights on, food on the table, and clothes on backs. It isn't that simple, though. Times change. Computers basically destroyed every job that existed before 1980. The AI revolution that is occurring will eventually destroy every job that existed before 2010, or so. I could write a whole separate OP on just this, but it's also your dad's job to lead and show you the way. That means even though he didn't get the certifications back in the day, he could get other certifications today, improve his circumstances greatly for the next five years or so, and show his children that it can be, and must be, done.

It sounds like your father may have lost contact with his interests from when he was a kid. He may simply not care where he is at on vacation as long as it isn't in the office. We have all been through the situation where a father told his kids to ask their mother, all that has ever really amounted to is, "It's okay with me, but check with your mother to make sure she doesn't have a plan." At 60, though, there is probably something you aren't saying. He is set in his ways and as stubborn as a mule to making a change. At the end though, he made his choices, it is your time to make yours.

You are going into finance. You will work for someone. Whether that is a stock broker, a bank, an accounting office, or a government tax agency, I will guarantee you two things. You will hate your job. You will hate your boss. The difference will be in what you choose to do about it. Walk away and build your own brand or suffer under the circumstance.

When it comes to women, yes, the right one will come around, maybe. You still have to be the best version of yourself.

[–]11-Eleven-11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The answer is to do whatever the fuck you want and never let a woman enter your frame.

[–]Accidenture69 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Cumputers did not destroy all jobs before YYYY date.

Yes I understand the impending AI revolution, I’m on the front lines.

[–]smokecheck1976 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Any the computer (chip) revolution didn't destroy it altered in ways that would make the job fundamentally different from what it was before.

One example is requiring a certain machine action be performed at a particular moment, say in the processing of metals. Before the Programmable Logic Controller, that meant a man standing in front of a board, observing the readings, and pressing a button or switch when needed. Now, a computer takes all the inputs at a rate far faster than any man is capable of performing, actuates the equipment at exacctly the right moment, never needs a break or a day off and doesn't "have bad days". That old job is replaced by a tech working on all of the computers and machines on the assembly line.

Another is trucking, back in the day a trucker would deliver his cargo, call the office to let them know and either call back or be called back later with their next run, he could be loooking at up to a day of down time between runs. Now, a computer network will know when he leaves down to about thirty minutes of when he will most likely make his delivery, knows when he is close, and has his next load already scheduled before he has his current cargo off-loaded. That computer is replacing an entire administrative operation with only two or three people.

I could go on, but yes, I can show that every job that existed before 1980 has either been eliminated or fundamentally altered.

AI will probably effect programmers first. Why would I need a team of programmers to hump out a steaming pile of code when I could program an AI that will write other programs for me? (Not that I have a thing against programmers, good people and hard workers, but man the problems that get built into the code at bad times.)

The real place to be when AI hits is going to be providing a direct quality service of some sort to people. Anything where you directly interact with people and provide them with something the best AI will never be capable of doing.

[–]Accidenture69 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Fantasy land is where you live. Nurses still insert catheters and computers haven’t changed that one fucking bit.

Your understanding of AI is limited.

[–]smokecheck1976 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right up until someone marries AI software to robots that are roughly the same shape and size as a human. At most, I'm thinking a decade out.

[–]Vrokko 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Stopped reading less than halfway through, then just skimmed the rest. "My dad provided for me at the behest of himself, what a pussy, fuck him". Listen dude, my dad had 8 kids between 3 women and got away without raising a single one. He lives retired and alone in a modest apartment with no real relationship to any of his offspring beyond that of an aquaintance. You think he gave a shit about having "the talk" with any of his sons let alone put food on the table for them? He gave me only one real piece of advice when it comes to everything in life and I'm keeping that to myself. You need to count your blessings. What you have is an example of a good man who did right by his family.

I'm sorry your pops wasn't Thor.

[–]BewareTheOldMan -1 points0 points  (1 child)

"...my dad had 8 kids between 3 women and got away without raising a single one."

This is less of an indictment toward any man who produced 8 x children with 3 different women and refused to be an active father, but more an observation and characterization of the women who allowed themselves to be impregnated by this man in the first place.

Just saying...

[–]Vrokko 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes and no. No because the indictment is that he is ultimately alone at the age of 3/4s of a century and left his offspring to struggle. Yes that it is also an indictment of the women as well because they reproduced with the good looking charmer rather than a provider; aka part of the red pill truth. The point here was to illustrate to OP what could have been for him. His father acted as a father.

[–]gbdoragnic 15 points16 points  (1 child)

> Being myself is what led me to being weak with no backbone when dealing with women, depressed, overweight, and unhappy.

A common theme among people who just don't understand what being yourself means, you weren't yourself because you weren't happy, It takes years for someone to find themselves, one of the reasons for chad's early success is he is himself, a bad boy, he just wants to fuck, and doesn't give a shit, As Jordan Peterson said only people with a psychopathic tendencies tend to advoid the brainwashing.

It was your fathers love and character that's being exploited , but your own blue pill condition that you seem to have doubled down on won;t allow you to come to this conclusion , in fact you focus on only the negative.

I seen Alpha red pill guys, they don't make the best fathers, count yourself lucky

This is a post of a entitled person, who doesn't understand the basic of reality, at no point did you think him for paying bills, putting a roof over your head, going to work day after day, and he did it for you.

> Seeing you slave away every single day, while you aren’t truly appreciated in your own household and be disrespected daily does not appeal to me.

It's called worked, not happiness, not enjoying life, it called providing for your family so you have a future, his sacrifice of happiness was for you, he sounds like a man who did the best he could and put his family first, this new entitled generation thinks red pill is some amazing guy, but believe me your blue pill father was leaps and bounds better than Chad, you should think your mother for not fucking some random thug and raising you in the ghetto , she controlled her hypergamy impulses for you.

> Most of this anger was misplaced because at the end of the day, my failures, my mistakes, my ignorance had one common factor: me.

You blame everyone else for how you turned out than flip the script and blamed you, but this is just a surface blame, you got mother and father issues and you don't really understand the red pill, you try and apply it to your entire self , rather than more knowledge that you can use to benefit your life. Stop trying to reinvent yourself but instead discover yourself

[–]Firebluered 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The current Beta-trend that is going on with the men, is this from our current generation or is this going on for a while?

[–]Frosteecat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My old man was a beast. But he only gave me about 3 pieces of advice my whole life. The main one was simply "Be Happy". That bastard did absolutely everything on his own term, 24/7. Yours wants you to be happy--just doesn't know how himself. I'd throw old bro a lifeline my friend. Start him off with NMMNG & WISNIFG. It's never too late.

[–]Arnold889 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Fair enough you have identified beta traits in your dad and you want to live your life differently and be more of a leader in your own household. Well done. I find it disgusting though, applying red pill theories to your family, thinking less of your dad because he wasn't alpha enough for your liking. Has it occurred to you he has done a good job and is satisfied with his life? He achieved what he wanted? Everyone has a different idea of success and achievement. Would you ever want your dad to read this letter? He would be disgusted.

[–]Acerp321 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I’m with you here. That shit reads out like someone who has swallowed the sidebar, is very young, and needs someone to blame everything on.

It’s your Dad man. Love him unconditionally. Look at the intention. Sounds like he did what he thought was best for you with great sacrifice. Any anger you have over not being taught how to deal with women is misplaced here.

My own story is scarily similar. Not mad at my dad. Sure wish he had found happiness though.

[–]SuperSchweinchen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really? To me it felt like op was exactly at the point that you are describing but left that mentality behind himself with this letter being his thought process

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A good way to learn. Back when I was first starting out on my own to become a more charismatic, outgoing man I would take special note of the times I saw someone do something cringey or socially awkward. Whenever I saw someone do something weak or "beta" I would think to myself "don't do that." When you know all the wrong moves you start to see the right ones.

[–]thetotalpackage7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a good read, but try not to be angry with him. I sense it in you. Your dad did right by you in supporting you. He operated from the only playbook he had....the one most of societies men are following. Cut him a break and be happy you took the pill early.

[–]krowitz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was adopted and grew up with parents and siblings who were not of my blood. I read your post, I just couldn't relate to any of it. Your dad's life is his, what you see as blue may be his red. Him telling you just be yourself is actually good advice: he let you do what you would without him having to tell you what. If he told you to lift and fuck ten other women, read books and shit, would you?

We all see what we want to see. We all hear what we want to hear.

He was there for you, and knowing what you know now, he didn't have to.

[–]DeeplyDisturbed1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From the comments.

Alpha red pill guys, they don't make the best fathers...

This is a huge important point men. This is its own red pill. The very purpose of this sub is to discuss all things related to the SMP and sexual strategy. It is not to share parenting advice, love stories, or ways to connect emotionally. It is about sexual dynamics rooted deep in the human condition.

This, but its very nature, means that it is NOT about fatherhood either. Once children enter the picture everything changes.

This is an important point and something you should keep in mind as you read TRP. You don't go to an auto mechanic to do your taxes, so you should likewise not seek out ideas on fatherhood here.

The Red Pill and Fatherhood are not mutually exclusive, but they are not very compatible either.

[–]brownsdown -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is not regurgitated trash my friend. This is an excellent post. Great writing. Almost heathcliff quality.