I have been a lurker and poster on this sub in the past. Who I am is not relevant, I’ve created this new account just for TRP. This sub has a lot of great material, especially on the SIDEBAR. Some of the material posted on here is just regurgitated trash. This may even be regurgitated trash for some, but I want to use this post for a specific demographic of TRP.
This post is for all of the men that I have seen on this sub that say “I wish my dad was not a beta bitch,” or some other line that you blame your father for not showing you how to be a man. I used to have this mindset, but as I continue to improve my life, my mindset on this topic has changed dramatically.
This is a letter to my own father. Some of you can relate to this, but I hope all of you can learn from this too.
It’s just after midnight and you are asleep. You have work in several hours, slaving away for a boss you do not like, a company you hate, just to provide for your family. You’ve sacrificed your happiness, your freedom, and independence to financially support your family. I recall one time you told me that, “raising a family and providing is just how it’s supposed to go.” According to yourself, this is the way a man should live his life. Back then, something in my head told me that this sounded dreadful. I witnessed my father come home from work every day and complain about how much he hates his job. This is what life for a man truly is?
While I do love you and mom, I cannot help but think, what happened to you? You and I have been spending a lot of time as of late, discussing career advice. I am entering finance and will be taking various tests for licenses, etc.You were telling me how at my age, you wish you were able to take several certification tests to further your own career goals. You did not and live with that regret.
Instead of paying for certifications and courses that could help further your career goals and aspirations, you sacrificed your own dreams for her “dreams and career goals.” Mom wanted to take classes, certification tests, anything to maximize her income. Did she finish any of these courses or complete the certifications? Of course not, something always came up; a new excuse for every time she failed the course or just dropped out altogether. And to think with that wasted money, you could have further dictated your own career.
Instead of learning your lesson, you continued to do this. You kept touching the stove with your bare hand and kept getting burned. I understand why your chose not to confront mom about this or anything really. Our household operates in her FRAME. “Ask your mother.” I remember you telling me this as a child all the time. When we were out as a family it was, “whatever your mother wants to do.” Vacation? “Where ever your mother wants to go.”
She calls herself the head of the household, and is she wrong? If you enter our house, everything is decorated by her, pictures of her family are everywhere but no pictures of your family. Why is that? Every room has her touch, except your office/man cave. This house is not your castle, its her Queendom and you are the jester.
I know you were raised in a household with two other brothers and a sister with your mother. Your father was an alcoholic who walked out on all of you when you were young. Ever since then, you’ve told me countless times how you “refuse to be like your father.” He was a drunk and absent from the household. Being raised primarily by a single mother, it makes sense why you are the way you are. You looked at your own father and decided for yourself that you would be completely opposite of him.
However, is this how you imagined it to play all out? Nearing 60 years old, extremely overweight and unhealthy, working a job you hate, with a wife that has the authority of your household. You have recently cut contact with your siblings for one reason or another. You’ve stopped talking to both of your brothers because of disagreements they had with mom. I am not saying you should be side with them, but cutting contact with your own blood for a woman? You like to give a lot of shit to one family friend of ours, that his wife cut him off from his friends when they were dating and growing up. Are you blind that you have been cut off from your own family?
You and I never really had “the talk,” about girls and women when I was growing up as a teenager. I always wondered when we would have it, and eventually I came to the realization that this discussion was never going to happen. I was under the impression that all father’s and son’s have this talk, but I realize that you never had this talk with your own father. Because of this, I was left on my own to learn about the nature of women, and I knew next to nothing about that subject. Perhaps in a way, you wanted me to learn on my own, which brings me to my next point.
Dad, you remember when my oneitis rejected and dumped me last Summer? You and I went to the back, sat on the deck and were talking about it. I remember you telling me that, “she will come around don’t worry. You are great the way you are. Just continue being you. The one is out there.”
Do you remember that film The Matrix? You enjoyed it, nearly as much as I did. But do you remember the scene where Morpheus offers Neo the Blue Pill in one hand and the Red Pill in the other. “You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”
It took me awhile to realize this dad, but when we were sitting on the deck and talking about being dumped, “Just continue being you,” did not sit right with me. Being myself is what led me to being weak with no backbone when dealing with women, depressed, overweight, and unhappy. The advice you were offering me was to try and comfort me, but I did not find it comforting at all.
I woke up the next day, and took a long look at myself in the mirror. The person staring back at me, I hated him. He was being himself, and look where it got him, absolutely nowhere. I realized I had to change, I needed to find a purpose in life; a mission. I needed to get into shape and get my self-confidence back up. While looking at myself in the mirror, I kept thinking of the words you said and only now it has dawned on me, you were offering the Blue Pill. It’s the only thing you know from your upbringing and being raised in this society; Blue Pill conditioning and thought is all you know.
And dad, this is where I want to thank you. I want to thank you for offering me to continue to take the Blue Pill. As weird as that sounds dad, you offering me to continue taking the Blue Pill is what made me finally take the Red Pill. When you offered me that advice, I nodded in agreement and decided that you aren’t always right and it’s okay. I rejected the Blue Pill from your hand and went and found the Red Pill on my own. I realized that I needed to change to improve my life.
When I first took the Red Pill and reading books like The Rational Male I became angry at you and myself. I was angry at myself for not knowing the true nature of women, not knowing game, not knowing anything. I was also angry at you for not teaching me anything about anything at all. Reading these books was an eye opening experience for me, it made so much sense. The dots were beginning to connect, I was starting to see a pattern in my relationships with women and lack of friendships with men. I was pissed that I was lied to for my entire life, I was pissed that I was raised weak, I was pissed at the world. Most of this anger was misplaced because at the end of the day, my failures, my mistakes, my ignorance had one common factor: me.
Since taking the Red Pill, you’ve noticed the subtle differences in myself. You have commented on my weight loss, my academic performance and achievements, my change in mindset, and my discipline. I was angry at you for how you raised me for quite some time. But the more I thought about it, I am thankful for how you raised me.
However, since becoming Red Pill aware, just like you told yourself that you would not be like your father, I have decided to not be like you. I have learned what NOT to do by observing you throughout my entire life. I am going to do things that bring fulfillment to my life, not succumb to the societal pressures of being their definition of a “man,” or sacrifice my career, dreams and aspirations for anyone. Seeing you slave away every single day, while you aren’t truly appreciated in your own household and be disrespected daily does not appeal to me.
It took me along time to get over the anger towards you for raising me the way you did. It was only a few months ago that I truly came to realize you did not know any better, and it’s okay. Most men in society are exactly like you, but I have decided that I do not want to be like most men. Most men kill their own dreams, put the pussy on the pedestal, get married, work a job they hate, all because “that’s what men are supposed to do.” I decided that I did not want to be average, I want to be great.
Despite everything Dad, I still love and support you. I do not hold anything against you; you offering me the Blue Pill that day was a blessing in disguise. I had to take the Red Pill. You’ll never see this letter, or even know what the Red Pill is. There are times where I think about handing you my copy of The Rational Male or dropping some truth in conversation, but I realize that you must find the Red Pill yourself; maybe one day you will, but I will continue to sit back and learn what not to do from you, and because of that I am becoming a better man.
Thank you for being you. I will not make the same mistakes.
TL;DR: No, read the fucking post because many of you can probably relate to this in some way.