Red Pill Theory[Reader Question] Just starting university, what do? (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Endorsed ContributorHeathcliff--

I often get messages from readers asking for specific advice. The entitled ones I ignore, the polite ones I reply to. If I like the topic I may end up rambling about it at length. Sometimes I get questions that I know may apply to many more trp users, and so I think it might be smart to share some of these conversations for those of you who are in the same boat.

This user is just starting university in the UK and wants to know how best to approach his freshers week (first week before classes start).

I'm starting uni soon and I was wondering if you had any tips for freshers week and uni in general. I had to ask you because it looks like most red pillers are ~40/50 and don't know what it's like to be 18 again. You've obviously experienced it more recently and knows what works best.

My reply:

Stop trying to fuck girls, don't make it obvious that you're sexually interested in them. Chill out and just befriend them and make a social group, you can fuck them later. Covert game is the way to play it, don't go around "picking up" or "gaming". You will quickly get a creep reputation. We're not in the US, and girls are a bit more mature and clued in here, so they'll see right through you. Read over "Autists vs Borderlines".

Girls in freshers are just now tasting some kind of freedom, they will be gagging for it, and a lot will be making "mistakes". Just play it chill and they will fall into your lap. It's much easier than you'll expect it to be. You will get a lot of IOIs and go aheads if you're not too forward and spergy, attracting the girl is never that hard, where most guys fuck up is that they never escalate. Just focus more on making some solid male friendships and branching out into LOTS of acquaintances, networking is key. If you make women your primary focus, you'll fuck it up. The old adage holds up, "the harder you try to get girls, the fewer you actually fuck. If you stop trying, it's suddenly easy".

Join a sports team or society, even if you suck. They won't really care that much. Play on the third or fourth team if you must. It's the only place to get the chad bromance and upscale girl attention, our version of frats. Just being associated with some of these dudes is enough to get you some pussy. I started climbing at university, good sport.

Oh, and don't forget to actually study. A lot of people never do. Remember what you're here for, it might not be important to you now, your first year might only be worth like 10% or even nothing at all, but getting involved in the academic side, actually working every day and being a student will ALL pay off for you later. It's totally possible to be both studious and social at the same time, many people do it. Actually study every day, even if it's just for an hour.

My best tip is to get into the habit of waking up early. Like 5/6AM. All the most successful people in the world do this. There's nothing better than busting out an hour at the gym, and an hour in the library learning that morning's lecture before most people are even awake. You turn up to the lecture energized and already knowing half of it, thus allowing you to focus on it better and picking up the intricate details that separate the 2:1s from the 1sts.

And if you find yourself falling behind, get on that shit IMMEDIATELY. Do not think "I'll make up for it later" or "I'm already so far behind now there's no point starting". These are brutal traps. If you're slipping, sacrifice some time to catch up. A few hours of work while you're slipping is equal to 10 hours of work when you've already fallen off the horse. Be efficient.

Oh and you'll probably go to a lot of clubs and "events" during freshers week. For most people, it's their first time ever doing this kind of thing. They'll be awkward as hell. Don't be the dude standing in the corner nursing a drink because you're self conscious about dancing. Just clown it up and be silly, as GLO says, just play the character and become a stupid club bro for a night, accept the music even if it's stupid, dance even if you look dumb, no one cares, they're all caring too much about themselves. I've gotten laid by girls who said I was a stupid dancer but they liked that I didn't give a shit.

But yeah, don't hyperfocus on getting laid. Uni is much more than that, you'll lose a lot of great experiences if you dedicate yourself to one path.

[–]NomBok 75 points76 points  (2 children)

My biggest advice. Don't just focus on women. Spend more time making friends with guys, especially social ones. You'll have more fun in general, and the women will be a positive side effect.

You're just starting, so the first couple months it's completely normal to just jump in and "force" a conversation to start a friendship. It might seem weird, but the first stage of university is one of the few times in your life where people won't question you trying to befriend everyone very quickly, and they'll actually welcome it.

Next, be the "inviter", don't just wait around to be invited. This could be for anything. Spot your neighbor? Say you're going to lunch and ask if he wants to come with. Spot someone you recognized from your hall? Say "hey bro me and my roommate are heading to lunch wanna come?"

I guarantee you'll become way more social if you take initiative and become a connector yourself.

[–]MrAnderzon 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I like that be the inviter.

[–]modTheRedPike 131 points132 points  (1 child)

To the jarheads reporting this as belonging in asktrp, he isn't actually asking a question--he is answering one. You crazy kids drive me nuts sometimes.

[–]senpaicreampie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought the same thing until I actually began to read the post. People don't like to read.

[–]Shaney96 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Cheers man, this advice helps me out a load. I'm going into my final year next week, and most of my headspace is taken up by "you're N-count is one and you haven't gotten laid in a year! You suck! Approach, faggit!", and it's pissing me off as I've got other things I want to focus on and I must get a 1st.

After reading your post, I realize I'd otherwise be going into Freshers way too try-hard. Like, I've got my first pre-drinks -> club night tomorrow, and my ego's been all "YOU BETTER GET SOME PUSSY LAD", whereas I now hope to take a more relaxed approach, appreciate I'm of decent SMV (relative to my life situation) and therefore, as long as I can escalate, girl's shouldn't be too much of a problem. I think it's a trap to come off trying too hard really. Cheers for the post man.

Also some 'rules' I wrote down for myself yesterday for when I start the year - they may help some others:

  • Always smile upon first entering a room and meeting a stranger. You want to appear approachable and friendly.
  • Always hold eye-contact - never be the first to look away.
  • Always keep your posture in check - most of your character is sub-communicated.
  • Converse with as many people as possible, all the time. This will help ease you up, meet new people, and build social proof.
  • Facing an uncomfortable situation? Remember that many-a person has faced the exact same situation and has gotten through it.
  • Never depend/expect anyone other than yourself to initiate events/conversations/meetups. You must be the initiator. People may have an indifferent opinion of you, may be intimidated by you, etc.. They may lack confidence to initiate.
  • Involve yourself in things which force yourself to interact socially.
  • Make conversations to be primarily about the other person. Spend <= 30% of the conversation talking about yourself.
  • Always say 'yes' when somebody invites you to something (this obviously depends on your schedule and your time-management skills etc., so take this with a pinch of salt and some common sense), even if you don't feel like going. If you can't go, be honest, and tell them you'd really appreciate them inviting you to something in the future.
  • Be non-judgmental. Do no react/over-react when somebody says something polarizing. Be stoic. Hold frame.
  • Talk slow with a low pitch. Say only that which is necessary. Don't spend your words freely - see them as currency.
  • Soft invite people you're newly acquainted with. A soft invite is 'hey, since you're into X, we should totally go some time!', as opposed to 'Hey, want to do X this weekend?' It takes the pressure off and you can gauge their reaction. Get their contact info straight after an enthusiastic response to a soft invite.
  • Keep the water warm with people. Keep in contact without expecting anything in return. Don't text guys just for logistics (this may apply to women as well, considering you want to be expanding your circle and not just fucking everything with a vagina).

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 62 points63 points  (3 children)

Lift, read, study, stay off booze and drugs.

Don’t believe any musican praising weed, purple drinks, cocaine or anything else.

Rewire yourself for dopamine resulting from success at gym, competitions and getting things done rather than from substance usage.

If your parents suck or lack, so be it. You’re your own best parent now. Take care of yourself. Don’t wallow in the past.

[–]senpaicreampie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is really important to keep in mind.

Weed will probably make you a worse student.

Coke isn't fun until you become dependent on it. The hype in our culture comes from addicts, not responsible people (I've done it about 15-30 times and still want to do it every time I see it, despite my better judgement and my general dislike for the high it provides)

Alcohol should be enjoyed socially. Being the most sober person around it always ideal, though.

Don't fuck with pills at all. Benzos and Painkillers are both EXPENSIVE, ADDICTIVE, AND COWARDLY to consume. They can also be fatal.

[–]na5h 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Lift 3 times a week and read for atleast 30 minutes a day

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 41 points42 points  (21 children)

To add a couple thoughts:

  • Get jacked, most guys coming out of high school are built like a sack of noodles, you instantly stand out, a man amongst boys.
  • For gods sake avoid getting into an LTR. Uni is a pussy buffet, try out as much as you like. Get some experience. See what sort of women you like or don't like.
  • Plan your next steps for after your degree, build up networks, dig into your current network, line up something for yourself, or atleast have a direction for when you're complete.
  • Work during college if you can, build up some cash reserves. Bartending pays well, it's sociable, you build up a network. This will be useful post degree.
  • Talk to everyone and anyone. I connect with so many of the people I studied with on a business level years after uni. Some of those connections have been very profitable.
  • You have long holidays in Uni, appreciate and enjoy these as much as you can, it's a luxury you will not afford when pursuing a career for yourself.
  • Wrap it up, last thing you want is a kid or STD, this will shit on your future plans.
  • Enjoy it, it's probably one of the most responsibility free phases of your life.

[–]Hltchens 19 points20 points  (19 children)

Bar tending is a terrible idea for working in school. It leads to excessive drinking every time, ESPECIALLY if you’re in college, and no one starts out weekends. You’ll be working mid week or sundays. 6-3 or even 4am depending on when they prep. If you want mediocrity get a job like that. If you want to accomplish what everyone going to school should aspire to (4.0, revered internship, and lots of grunt work for your profs) then either get a job at school or realize the truth: college is your “9-5”. But really it’s a 9-9 if you’re doing everything right. Every hour of class should yield one hour of studying/work. If you can pull a 4.0 and bartender go for it. No ones going to stop you. But if you’re getting less than perfect grades in any class, you’re failing at your most important job.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 13 points14 points  (12 children)

Completely disagree, I worked 2 shifts a week as waiter, sometimes more if I also did a barman gig(mostly events) and raked in on average (converting here) but would amount to around 500$ per shift. When bar tending I didn't drink on shift as I actually had self control and was fairly focused on my health/lifting.

By then end of my studies I had saved up a hefty chunk, enough to start my own business soon after.

Got some of the highest marks in my year too, and still had a solid social life. It's all about what you're willing to put in.

[–]PleezSitOnMyFace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Discipline nullifies all of this.

[–]HighIQBro 0 points1 point  (4 children)

This is very wrong. The people that got the best jobs after university were almost all above average students but not the best. Top 5%-15%. The students with perfect grades almost all went nowhere. I would definitely rather get a 3.8 and bartend/party/anything else over a 4.0.

[–]Hltchens 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Lol. Yeah, no. It’s amazing what people tell themselves in order that they might be satiated with achieving mediocrity. It’s not that everyone with a 4.0 magically changed the world. It’s that if you’re smart enough to change the world in that field, getting a 4.0 is the least difficult thing you’ll ever face in life. Struggling to meet a 3.8 because you wanted to drink and fuck like an ape with a notebook is hardly the cornerstone to life altering achievement. Yeah, Einstein failed math. In what, 8th grade? He obviously didn’t fail the discipline of physics he discovered single handedly. Barely any other scientist working the Manhattan project did. He’s the exception, not even close to a rule.

[–]HighIQBro 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I'm sorry man but you are completely wrong. I went to an ivey league school. The people in the best graduate positions were the ones that were the most social and tended to party a fair amount. The guys in New York investment banks tended to go out at least 2+ per week and were around top 10%. Some of my friends, who were ranked within the top 1% don't have jobs right now. They never bothered doing important things like trying to network, or make real friends that will help them in the future. I'm sorry you are delusional the same way I was, I thought studying would get the position. The reality is man, studying is only one aspect to success. Its like saying, if I only hit the gym and get massive I will get unlimited girls. That's just not how it works. You don't need perfection you need well roundedness. Trust me on this, me and all my smart nerdy friends came to this conclusion when we saw the partiers at Goldman Sachs New York or McKinsey & Company.

[–]Hltchens 0 points1 point  (1 child)

We aren’t talking about getting positions at NY banks, we’re talking about giving yourself the available time to dedicate 50,000 hours of research to a particular study. Of course your studying didnt amount to anything, because you can study pussy as much as you want, you’ll never be a woman.

I never said anything about getting rich or getting the best position. In fact I said that doesn’t matter. Who’s the CEO of Google again? Some Indian guy? Okay. I’m sure he partied hard and got a solid 3.6.

I went to an ivey league school.

That means nothing. My private college was miles ahead of the Harvard undergrad Intro to Quantum Class. We finished the book in a semester, they took two years, on the same book. Ivey league means very little to someone with a real education.

[–]HighIQBro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely rather be the CEO making a shit ton of money and being financially free to do anything over being a complete nerd that understood every single mathematics problems. The funny thing is though, I am the nerd that studied way too hard and even still, I realize it. I missed out on a lot of fun just because I thought it would make me more successful. The successful people are the ones in life are the ones that are happy and very social. They enjoy themselves.

[–]senpaicreampie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently in a LTR in college and I've begun to hate it. I totally agree that they should be avoided and I'm currently making my way out of it. I can't focus on my research, classes, work AND her all at the same time.

[–]chicasso 8 points9 points  (1 child)

What is Autists vs Borderlines? I’d like to read it but can’t find it anywhere.

[–]Rollo_Mayhem3 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Depending on the size of the school, the higher quality girls were taken fairly fast by Junior or Senior guys, who had something going for them like a car and off-campus housing, also they typically played a sport, were the known rich kid or dad was somebody, or the playboy types. In other word, they also high SMV. Those guys were also friendly and liked by underclassman. I'd advise you, to focus on building a relationship with one of these types, fairly quickly, even if that means, asking to help out with a party. You can be the one to haul the keg into the frat house, or go buy the supplies, otherwise, be willing to play a supportive role but NOT submissive role. If you see these guys in the gym, ask a question and talk to them but don't try to impress them or say stupid shit. I've always had a kid or two that I noticed who had a great potential that I was willing to take under my wing as sort of a hobby. And I should say that I had my ass saved by an upperclassman when we were out and I got into a fight. He clearly saw me as part of the troop. It goes both ways. That's just one piece of advise.

[–]Kurush559 12 points13 points  (3 children)

This all sounds so American. I do find it interesting how different european/UK university is.

[–]senpaicreampie 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Just so you know we're not all in frats with kegs stacking up in the living room. It's probably not as different as you'd imagine, but I'm interested why that comment made you say that. Any insight?

[–]Kurush559 0 points1 point  (1 child)

We just dont really have the 'frat bro' thing at all. The amount of guys who are even slightly muscular is an overwhelming minority. I also think brits treat university more academically than you guys over the ocean, especially because we all pick ONE course to do before we even attend university. So its like picking a major before you even go, then not minoring in any other subjects.

Alcoholism and drinking are much more prevalent though, as uni students are all old enough to drink whenever wherever and however they want, whilst you guys have to wait until 21 to do it legally. Hookup culture is probably quite different because the concept of 'chad' applies to 1% of guys rather than 5%. People usually stick to their age group when it comes to LTRs, but girls like to fuck older guys, as you mentioned in your comment

[–]senpaicreampie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well "dual enrollment" is really common here. I completed two years of college credit before I graduated high school, and earned a degree. But you're right about the frat culture/Chads being more common (at state Universities at least).

[–]dcmcmd 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Build your social proof - on many of the key aspects, the clock resets on day one of uni. This is what is meant by "reinventing yourself." Take advantage of it to start behaving like the man you aspire to be. That means building physical fitness, educating yourself and getting the hell out of your comfort zone. Women will naturally follow from this. You're not there for women, identify your goals and pursue them vigorously and they'll come to you. Basic RP stuff really but good to remember.

[–]drkinferno72 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Join a variety of clubs

Did rugby for some fit girls, joined the anime/science fiction for the nerdy ones (next to zero competition)

[–]Kurush559 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How was your rugby experience?

[–]drkinferno72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was an intramural, I did it for fun, met some cool people.

I honestly prefer boxing or wrestling lol

[–]HannibalBacara 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Join a fun club club. I'm as white as rice and yet I joined a latin culture and dancing club in my junior year and it was crazy fun. First of all got to learn how to salsa and shit, secondly got to fuck like 6 crazy hot Latinas from the club over my last 2 years at school. I didn't join the club with the intent of trying to fuck girls though.

I got asked by hispanic members of the club why I joined all the time and I'd just say I wanted to learn how to dance and this club seemed like a good way.

Some of the easiest pussy I've ever gotten and the best part is I was actually just having a good time learning to dance.

[–]mercush 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you do one on life after university? I went to a small uni in Germany, which was pretty boring in terms of social life (also because I was pretty boring). Spent a semester abroad in the UK in my final year and did pretty much what you said, and had an amazing time. But now I'm having to make a choice between continuing studying or starting my career and I'm having fomo over not having that university environment anymore.

[–]randomTATRP 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The endorsed guys told you the most important stuff.


Just play it chill and they will fall into your lap. It's much easier than you'll expect it to be. You will get a lot of IOIs and go aheads if you're not too forward and spergy, attracting the girl is never that hard, where most guys fuck up is that they never escalate. Just focus more on making some solid male friendships and branching out into LOTS of acquaintances, networking is key.

I was really the most popular person in my course, some of the girls were really into one and the best one too. BUT. I didn't pick it up since I was a BP fag with a severe case of oneitis. Later, when I did, it was too late. Wouldn't escalate too.

Just don't waste your time on videogames like me. Socialize, study and lift and that should net you enough pussy I'd say.

[–]JuiceTen44 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, u/Heathcliff-- just what I was looking for. My first year doesn't seem so daunting now.

[–]Youngyoda89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t fall behind at all. I find that college is actually very easy if you do the work; with the exception of certain classes. Don’t miss any assignments. This is coming from someone who made the deans list a few times at a tier one university while working full time while simultaneously going to school full time.

[–]Ollamalitzci 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im 27 years old IVe had sex before during and after college and it was the same eveywhere... but one thing Im glad about is how OCD and emotionally committed I was to succeeding in learning what was relevant to my job field during college. Seriously that was my biggest play I made. Alot of the women from my past are complete regrets but everything I learned in class has helped me grow in life and has never came back to bite me in the ass

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go to that free gym.

...learn its hours of operation immediately so you can go when you have spare time.

Lift before classes and before partying. Make it a habit.

[–]Draviz 1 point2 points  (4 children)

how exactly does the confinement that comes from working in a job - which can be your only goal if you go to university - fit in with trp? you cannot want to go to a university for the education cause it’s all available through other sources. isnt setting out to get a good job the career equivalent of setting out to get a good wife?

[–]spistruth 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Survival comes first. Then comes getting laid.

[–]WhiteMale7152 1 point2 points  (2 children)

It's worth it here in Europe. We don't end up with hundreds of thousands of debt.

[–]ncstaterepted 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I went to a great State school in the USA and ended up paying ~$29,000 for 4 years of STEM. College is reasonably priced unless you are looking for "the college experience". Commute to college. Live at home. Fuck girls in your old high school. Start a side business because you're in college living at home. HOLY SHIT!

[–]Nocryingok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok you don't end in debt. But what do you gain out of it? I agree with Draviz.

[–]BurntYams 0 points1 point  (0 children)

great post op, enjoyed reading the comments aswell

[–]LieutenantFartpoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. This is precisely the reason why I'm struggling so hard socially in university.

I have mild autism and grew up isolated from everyone. I cannot relate to anybody in my dorms. I've tried and tried and tried and tried and tried again to make friends with the guys in my dorm, but nobody wants me around because I'm weird, short in height and have no social proof whatsoever.

This means that I'll probably have to graduate from university as a kissless virgin. It sucks, but nobody gets everything they want.

[–]clavabot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, for codify some of the things that I have been thinking, and answering some of my questions.

I started going out purely because i'm living on rez, it It seems like i'm getting nothing but IOI's, I keep fucking it up when it come to escalating [Don't know what to do / no practice with it] So I started reading VIN's ladder and am implementing that, i'm not getting used to being physical with girls.

Next steps: Improve verbal escalation, and pulling/ closing at my dorm, outside or a bathroom somewhere. And CONTACT details, I feel like fucked up so hard and missed a great girl because I for got to get her contacts

{Uni In europe btw}

[–]kiwifx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The old adage holds up, "the harder you try to get girls, the fewer you actually fuck. If you stop trying, it's suddenly easy".

I can confirm this. I got laid three times as much in my second year, when I proclaimed that I was going to stay at home, knuckle down and focus on course work rather than partying every night.

[–]Zech4riah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Protip: Check out couple of youtube videos and learn just 2-3 BASIC dance moves (basically stepping from side to side and alternating the steps a bit). Then put music on and practice couple of times -> Vola, you won't look stupid anymore in the dancefloor and you spent like 3 hours learning the stuff.

All you need to do is to take 3 hours and to not look stupid while you dance. No need to learn to actually dance.

[–]WalterEArmstrong 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I'm starting uni soon and I was wondering if you had any tips for freshers week and uni in general." Yeah, study your ass off.

[–]Fuck_ur_downvote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some things I've learned in my 4 years of college, with 2 more years to go:

  1. Don't pursue CS if you are prone to depression, because the cold grip of suicidal thoughts will soon beset you

  2. Don't browse Lookism.net, it will destroy your confidence and your perception of your appearance. But do give a shit about your appearance, and that includes clothes. I'm serious. stay off of Lookism

  3. Start working out 3 times a week, maybe 5 if 2 of the 5 is aerobic or light exercise

  4. On fucking around or finding a stable girl; I have a stable girl from HS and we've been together and loyal for half a decade. Fucking around builds up confidence (my guess, I wouldn't know from experience). Having a stable girl keeps you sane through difficult times. Don't do LDRs

  5. Become an extrovert. I was introverted in HS and sometimes it takes over, but it is okay to be loud, talk openly, and make quick movements

  6. Don't respond to "kid". I did a few times and it made me feel like shit. Don't respond to "kid", and if anyone calls you "kid", just look them dead in the eye and tell them to never call you that again

  7. Plan college out from day one and stick to the plan. Don't transfer from a community college if you can help it (get the associates degree if you do though, don't just transfer like me). I did and now I'll be in college for a total of 6 years. Be careful when planning classes and don't get grades lower than a C in gateway classes, that shit will set you back semesters

  8. If you or your parents can afford it, stay at college. Neither me nor my parents could afford it, so I commute, and trust me, at the start of year 5 it grows tiring

[–]jamestemp0 -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

Stay away from clubs especially the jungle bunny music clubs which is like 80% of them nowadays

[–]Ta11no 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Jungle bunny? Most 18 year olds listen to rap nowadays no matter the ethnicity. So any bar or nightclub worth it’s salt will have the music playing and girls dancing