261
262
263

MetaWhy you should not unfriend your male beta friends or your hot female friends (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by yahyasafe7

Hey guys, so recently, I saw a post on asktrp in which someone asked how to get away from his beta male friends because they're influencing him on being more beta.

Of course, the question in itself was stupid and many bros suggested that he either slowly pulls away if they're that cancerous or just keeps them as friends he'd hang out with if he finally lost purpose in life.

Yesterday, and on many other instances, something really interesting happened because of these beta friends of mine. Many times did I attend these kind of international social events where people who are strangers to each other and more or less share a certain thing (same university, same major...etc) meet up on a glass of beer and just chill and have fun.

Every time I go there, I just totally forget about my insecurities and I become very hilarious and start making fun of everyone and everything that happens. So obviously, I get iOis from girls present and soon enough I engage in conversations with them. When that happens, in come my beta friends.

"Did you know that this guy is mentions my business?"

"This guy is mentions something really interesting I did"

"Bro, I really liked mentions something interesting about me".

I mean for real, these guys demonstrated my fucking value and I didn't even have to hint or talk about it. The girls'eyes would shine and they'd look at me like, "Wow, is that true?" And being the cocky ass that I am, I just laugh it off and say that he's lying and just make fun of them.

Just in the same way you shouldn't unfriend your hot female friends, so shouldn't you cut your male beta friends.

Your female hot friends get you in a position where every girl in your physical entourage gives you iOis just because you happened to hang out with one that's smoking hot. She does the pre-selection for you.

One 9-10 female friend of mine just came back in town and we decided to hang out a little. She came in this short dress and had her hair combed so beautifully... She was absolutely fucking stunning. Being bloated from too much salt, I looked like a potato. While walking down the city just catching up with each other, Jesus fucking Christ. Every girl passes by gives her the look, gives me the looks, then carry on walking. Imagine this in a bar situation. Absolute killer. Have seen some posts talking about how you female friends can help you hook up with girls at bars and stuff.

So your beta friends on the other hand would spread your value around and you don't have to move a muscle to do that. It's like they'd always get the job done for you. Being oribitors and with no game or whatever, they'd always have to find something interesting to talk about when you're around. So if you have some interesting stuff that's going on with your life, sooner or later they'll mention it.

Now, when I say that they're beta I don't mean they're pieces of shit. Some of them have girlfriends and others are very decent men with decent jobs and life occupations. It's just in that context, they all want to fuck the girls they're meeting and they don't do the chase. They just keep spreading my value.

One useful thing I found helpful to get to this point with them was to always demonstrate value to them, to a certain extent. Of course I won't be disclosing critical details about my company or whatever I'm going through. But I give them those shiny big headlines that impress them and shit....

Anyways, I hope you get the picture guys


[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillcad 339 points340 points  (17 children)

Your bros are your bros. Dont drag them to unplug but dont ditch them either.

Live your dream and show em the way

[–]3whatsthisgarg 112 points113 points  (7 children)

Your bros are your bros. Dont drag them to unplug but dont ditch them either. Live your dream and show em the way

There is a massive cohort of dudes new to TRP who take it entirely too seriously, think they have to dive into a latrine of shit to retrieve the wad of drug money they saw somebody toss in there.

These guys need to remember (maybe remind themselves everyday) that they don't live in the Internet, they live in the real world. If somebody is a shitty friend trying to hold you back, it's not because they aren't familiar with TRP, it's simply because they are a shitty friend.

By the same token, a guy can be familiar with TRP and still be a shitty friend.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillcad 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Im not sure what you mean at all but I think we agree that TRP and being a good friend and/or good person have nothing to do with eachother.

My point is that TRP makes yourself the mental point of origin and it will then be easier to smoke out who actually cares for you and who actually is using you to accomplish their goals.

Stay connected to the former and make no overt attempt to teach them. Drop breadcrumbs instead

The former group should be dropped like a bad habit

[–]Brucebruce90 2 points3 points  (3 children)

In your last sentence, Did u mean *latter?

[–]3whatsthisgarg 2 points3 points  (2 children)

In your last sentence, Did u mean *latter?

who actually cares for you and who actually is using you

Bolded is what is former, to whom you should stay connected.

[–]Brucebruce90 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Lol I 💯 agree w that one..

You wrote: "The former group should be dropped like a bad habit" ^ I was asking bout your last sentence, did u mean latter?

[–]3whatsthisgarg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

did u mean latter?

Reading comprehension, mine sucks lol

[–]3whatsthisgarg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im not sure what you mean at all

i mean there is a fucking shitload of jerks who come on here asking "Is it alpha bro?" thinking they can't be "alpha" (LOL) if they have "beta" friends

too many dudes think they have to ask TRP for every little detail of their life, which is stupidly ironic, because they are missing the point of TRP altogether and not living their life they way they should be for their own maximal success and enjoyment

[–]HannibalBacara 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly man. I have a few friends who most guys on here would consider beta by the way they approach women and act in their relationships. But these guys also would fucking drop everything in a heartbeat and drive the 2-plus hours to my house immediately if I needed help and I would do the same for them.

Like you said a shitty friend is a shitty friend. You can have "alpha" shitty friends and "beta" shitty friends.

[–]uwey 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Whey, the whey.

In the dark shadow valley of the death, I have no fear, for lord be my shepherd and he have shown me the whey.

[–]KarmicPrism 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I hope you're lifting heavy with so much whey in your way.

[–]uwey 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No whey is a waste. A whey and sweat is a gain.

Gucci Gain

[–]KarmicPrism 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gucci gain, Gucci gain, Gucci gains- all my whey das proteine.

Gucci gain, Gucci gain, Gucci gains. My whey, weigh, das propane.

Lil Pumped 💪🏼

[–]RedPilledRoaster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thing is, there is a strong likelihood they will just be fuckin toxic to deal with due to envy.

Also, like it or not your friends do have an influence on the way people see you. I'd rather spend my time around high value people who are going to lift me up than people who are going to hold me back.

[–]p3n1x 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Never replace good friends with women" (beta or not)

[–]look_good 0 points1 point  (0 children)

self evaluate. If your friends are holding you back, cut the fucking rope.

[–]Churningaway 81 points82 points  (5 children)

Here's the problem with this: the 'crab bucket' phenomenon. Sometimes, when you've been in a 'crew' long enough the hierarchy becomes set over time and everyone (subconsciously) knows where they rank. Once you, the average Joe, happens upon TRP (life-changing event, epiphany, accidentally, we've all had different paths that brought us here), you WILL start to improve leaps and bounds faster than most others that are operating without as powerful of a framework.

Most people just go with the flow, and in our Globohomo culture that means they aren't improving very fast at all or are shackled by imaginary powers that slow their progress (expectations to marry, too afraid to job hop to a better opportunity, stuck with "keeping up with the joneses").

Once they notice you improving, there is a chance they will start to resent you and try to hold you back, break you down, or belittle your new accomplishments (that great 6-figure job, your improved physique, or the fact your getting poon every weekend without fail.)

Sometimes, the only option is to cut off the cancer, it is REALLY difficult for regular dudes to accept change in their hierarchy, because they themselves wish they had the wherewithal to break the chains and improve so quickly. Had this issue with my 'crew' and experienced tremendous push-back when i started to improve with my career, bitches, and long term goals. It literally felt like they were trying to hold me back. Assess your own individual situations, but know that sometimes you may have to end friendships that lasted many years because of your newly found world-views, outlook and potential.

[–]ohyasurewhatever 6 points7 points  (0 children)

People also change. Most of my buddies got married or had a kid. Single 30 something year old me, making 6 figures and doing whatever I want just doesn't fit anymore. Throw in most people in relationships hang out with other couples and I'm solo most of the time.

[–]Truedemocracy4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This absolutely. If you have a large friend group before the red pill and you haven't experienced this from friends then you likely haven't improved enough. Your close bros WILL resent you. Not all of them, but definitely some.

[–]drty_pr 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I have a friend I may have to deal with in the future in this regard.

He was always the alpha of the group. Sold drugs, kicke ass, great at sports an always had a hottie in HS. Well, 15 years later he is overweight, out of shape, bald, wear poor fitting clothes and is in a relationship with an ol ugly chick.

There is this chick who has the mega hots for me. We are partying one night at my brothers and in typical fashion, she's Keno to the max. I see him a few days later and he says "She is dying for the rty squirt". A few weeks later we are at a bar and she is there. Chicks are dancing and he is trying to push me up on the ance floor to dance with her (I'm not a dancer). All good fun.

Then I'm talking to one of my tight homies a few weeks back and he says "remember that night that <chick> was all over you at your brothers? We <friend> was calling you down to me a few days later saying 'that's not cool what happened with drty and <chick>'. I said that she was all over him. To which he agreed"

Problem is, we hang in a large group of friends. I won't ever call him out, but I know where our loyalty lies.

[–]p3n1x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't conflict loyalty with someone eating your scraps like a resentful buzzard. If the girl went for him, you got your red flag answer early. At the same time, surround yourself with wingmen, not cockblockers.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 20 points21 points  (6 children)

'Betas' in my life usually just gawk at women, too scared to start a conversation. They see me approach or break the ice and they immediately intervene with some indirect way of giving me trouble. They add nothing to the convo. They don't even try to hit on the girl, just try to hold me back. One even walked over to do it.

If they do try to hit on the girl (only after I break the ice), they're just riding my coat tails, surfing my wave, getting in the way holding me back. I only want guys that can hang or foolishly believe painting me as an asshole will lower my value (always increases their interest).

[–]p3n1x 2 points3 points  (3 children)

they immediately intervene with some indirect way of giving me trouble.

You did the heavy lifting, hyena's and buzzards are everywhere.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Hyenas are not usually scavengers by the way, they hunt for most of their own food

[–]p3n1x 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Striped Hyena's, that better? come on.

[–]spistruth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some will even interfere under the guise of being your wingman.

[–]Ollamalitzci 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Didnt even read this post just came to tell you all this fucking obvious... anyone who doesnt get the basic premise of being yourself and honoring where you come from isnt gonna get far in anything

[–]p3n1x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

being yourself

That is the problem for most bloops. The "who they are" is a turnoff and they don't understand how to pull away from group think.

[–]Nashvillain2 12 points13 points  (11 children)

Every girl passes by gives her the look, gives me the looks, then carry on walking. Imagine this in a bar situation. Absolute killer. Have seen some posts talking about how you female friends can help you hook up with girls at bars and stuff.

This is not impossible but I have heard it far more in theory than seen it in practice.

Most of the time it's better to make the move, and if she rejects you, move on. Don't make a speech, don't dramatically cut ties, but move on.

If your goal is to get laid or fine a girlfriend, the time you spent with Ms. Hottie would be better spent approaching. Or almost anything else.

[–]yahyasafe7[S] -1 points0 points  (10 children)

Agreed, and I might be exaggerating a little when I said that "every girl passes by" cuz of course that's not the case literally. Some girls surely don't give a fuck and others just look really fast.

As for my hot female friend, I'm experimenting with her on something. Believe it or not, I strongly believe that there actually might be a way to get the fuck out of the friendzone. My story with her is very interesting to hear if you have the time.

So I met her around 8 months ago when she friendzoned the shit out of me in approximately 1 week. I remember she gave me TREMENDOUS IOIs but I didn't notice them at all because I was blue-pilled. Had a severe case of oneties with her, deered with her, and fuck up basically. Two months later or so, she travels abroad and stays for 6 months in an exchange semester or whatever. During these 6 months, I get introduced to TRP, started lifting, lost weight, started a business... Ect.

She comes back and I ask her to come out and hang out. The first thing she notices " Woahh. Now you've changed. A lot". Sure. I dropped 10kg and know which clothes to wear and which not.

This time, it wasn't just me talking to her without doing anything. It was me talking to her while touching her all over her body. And guess what? She loved it. She loved it so much that after touching her, she buffers for a second, regains her thoughts, and then continues the conversations.

I started by hugging her real tight as if in "I missed you so much". Kissed her on the cheek and WRAPPED my hand around her neck while jokingly tell her that still look as cute as she left. Complimented her dress, told her how it shows her beautiful long legs, and noticed a tan. Bro she was fucking wet already. Like a few seconds in the hangout and she already noticed the sexual frame going on. That's when she stopped, smiled and looked up to me and said, "You've changed. A lot".

Kept at it for the rest of the hangout and boy oh boy did I get closer to her vagina by time. We'd sit down my arm around her, then caress her thighs while talking about anything. And then finally, hug her goodbye kiss her again and slowly take my arms around her waist and tell her glad to have her in town.

She smiles and knows that something is up and goes away xD

[–]boredathome19 13 points14 points  (1 child)

So you're giving her all the attention and validation without even making out. That's not an experiment, you're her beta orbiter right now. Try to fuck her, do your thing, but don't be too invested in her in case it doesn't work out.

[–]p3n1x 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As for my hot female friend, I'm experimenting with her on something.

Other women know when the hot chick is 'around' you and when she is actually 'with you'. Other women know exactly that you are BB or AF with that girl.

Complimented her dress, told her how it shows her beautiful long legs, and noticed a tan. Bro she was fucking wet already.

Doubtful, you were just kissing her ass like a live Instagram.

You kinda played the "look at what I am now", "look at what you are missing out on" instead of closing. You might mean something different, but that is how you wrote it.

[–]cBIGONE 1 point2 points  (2 children)

There is no such thing as the friendzone,its either a guy being used, or a guy that hasnt made a move....

[–]askmrcia 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That's literally the friendzone. No one is going to out right say "I'm using you" or "I'mscared to make a move."

So the term "friends" covers it up

[–]cBIGONE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100 percent agree, except there is one primary difference. Using the word "friend" to other men implies it is a mutually beneficial relationship. A true friend wouldn't just keep asking for shit with nothing in return.

Friendzone is a term made up by women's hamsters,and we shouldnt be acknowledging it.

[–]askmrcia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Been there done that. You're not getting out of the friendzone. Just move on.

The only chance you will hook up with her is when she completely runs out of options

[–]gottakeepontrying 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how wet was she? ive never really been with a women who was really wet, kind just moist but maybe the problem was me not being attractive enough

[–]MurkyArtichoke 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I work with mostly women, and I've started to have great chemistry with some of them and we hangout occasionally outside work. I am careful not to shit where i eat, so i don't make moves on these girls, and most of them have bf's anyway. But it's a great way to get in contact with other girls in their social circles. Got invited to a pre-party next weekend where there will be lots of girls. When we hangout at bars these girls often like to help when i'm trying to chase girls. For some reason girls REALLY love being the "wingwoman", and essentially a wingwoman is better than a wingman.

Also, girls i date who decide that they don't want to keep seeing me anymore, i always make sure not to act bitter and negative towards. I usually just say something like "oh that's too bad, I respect your decision!" or occasionally tell them "too bad, you seemed like a nice girl!". You want them to start thinking "damn maybe i shouldn't have ditched that guy" after some time. I guess it depends on where you live, but for me, who lives in a quite small town, you need to be aware that people are talking about you, but you will never know what they say. But you can influence if what people say about you will be mostly positive or negative. If you act angry/bitter at a girl for flaking on you, and throw a tantrum, you can be damn sure she will tell this to other girls and that doesn't reflect well on you. Wouldn't you rather have girls say "yeah he's a great guy but it didn't work out", instead of "yeah he got angry and deleted me from everything"?

[–]Bae_king 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont think any of that matters after the break up is done. You should both just be fucking other people to be honest. What if word got out you was cheating? Seems like a bad stigma but its actually not. Women dont even like each other anyway

[–]Morphs_ 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Every girl passes by gives her the look, gives me the looks, then carry on walking.

So how many lays with chicks has not fucking this 9/10 gotten you?

[–]meektakeL 3 points4 points  (0 children)

none, hes just doing what we call mental masturbation

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

You shouldn't unfriend them because they're your fucking friends. You can and will meet a variety of people during your life, no need to be a cunt cos they disagree with you on some things.

[–]saganist91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unless they try to hold you back.

[–]frooschnate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not disagreeing on some things. If my boy likes black dick and I like latino that’s fine; if he acts like a bitch and is insecure because my blowjobs are getting way better than his, that’s a shit friend m8

[–]imtheoneimmortal 3 points4 points  (2 children)

someone asked how to get away from his beta male friends because they're influencing him on being more beta

some people want, RP film, RP parents, RP friends, RP girl, RP music, RP food, RP everything
They become so obsessive with RP

[–]spistruth 0 points1 point  (1 child)

And that's the way it should be.

[–]frooschnate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s called getting overly attached. Use the tools to your advantage, you don’t have to follow instructions letter by letter.

[–]1Sir_Distic 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I disagree. Most beta male friends will crab bucket you. I've seen far too many guys sabotage another guy when talking to a female.

You sound like you've got good friends who are also beta as opposed to having betas who are friends.

[–]Scriptopeia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The guys that sabotage you are not your real friends. I could name guys in my social circle that would actually encourage me even further, but also a few that would drag me down with their crab bucket mentality.

[–]angeltruck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a pretty cool way of looking at it tbh, there's value in everything.

[–]TheFlyingPro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the hot babe friends part sounds totally obvious...

[–]GhostENTJ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As long as they are not betas who are envious.

If they are envious that archetype no good, probably need to slowly back away from them.

Dont just rip the band aid clean.

You don't want to trigger men who subscribe to the woman Matrix.

Just weed them out, why keep them around wasting space.

[–]2soccerbum312 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the point you're making. Every single person you meet will teach you something whether it be knowledge, mannerisms, a few jokes, contacts, etc. If they never disrespected you and objectively good people with a purpose in mind you should absolutely keep these relationships open

[–]dogchrist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also, calling your beta friends on their beta shit is essentialy training to not be a fucking loser, a constant reminder of what not to do.

also you might help them not be fucking losers.

[–]MrBrady23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For real who compliments their male friends for brownie points?

[–]largepaycheckaddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never really understood this whole “how do I get rid of my loser friends!” Mindset. Just stop chilling with them if they annoy you that much. Looking back, you’ll probably notice you had a solid group of grade school friends, had another clique in middle school, a new gang in highschool and then you go to college or move on with your life and make more new friends. If you’re lucky some friends from those past groups will grow with you and move into these new friend groups as you age.

I get how hanging out with “beta” guys can be frustrating. Especially if they bring down your social/cool points.. but no ones forcing him to hangout with anyone.

As you age you should be growing and organically moving into new situations where you form new bonds with like minded similar plateau people. Like if you’re a smart ambitious guy and go to college you’ll probably hangout with colleagues instead of your old townie bud who works at the gas station and spends his weekend getting drunk at the same bar farting in the same barstool.

[–]Zech4riah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If your beta friends are not dragging you down, ofc you shouldn't get rid of them.

But about this "wingwoman" thing I kind of disagee. Atleast in the club while doing some low key NG, having a hot girl with you makes just things awkward and girls misintepret the girl being your gf.

[–]BurnoutRS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There seems to be a lot of psychological traps people get themselves into with their interpersonal relationships. Constantly trying to evaluate your friends and determine what they mean to you can be important, but it can definitely become an issue. It seems easier to just keep it simple and hang out with people you legitimately enjoy spending time with.

If youre building a clique or an entourage you're probably spending too much time worrying about your social status and trying to bolster it in superficial ways. If youre just straight up and honest with people you'll attract the ones worth keeping and probably tell the shitty ones to leave/leave yourself.

[–]red-pill-man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you fuck this chick, you simp?

[–]Starfuckingman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Except be careful. Sometimes those beta friends becomes hateful or jealous unintentionally and even subconsciously I would say (And you wouldn't blame them, you lift, you work hard and they play video games.). They'd be this ticking bombs sometimes like when they see you nailing that girl they wanted but actually didn't tell you personally that that's the girl they like or they would tell you so they would see if you will stay away from her and some beta shit. I had all sorts of friends, good beta ones and bad beta ones. Men are your friend and sometimes they're totally not your friend.

[–]boy_named_su 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I unfollowed all my female friends (because their posts are annoying) but won't defriend them

[–]afitch14 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Delete that social media buddy

[–]randomTATRP -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

Nah, showing off high status on Instagram is nice. I posted a story (a post that disappears after 24h) with a shirtless photo in a pump in the gym and next time I was out, one of the most handsome girls in my town came up to me, we chitchatted a bit and she goes like 'I've seen you built some nice muscle' and starts touching my abs and even asked her friend to touch me to which she said 'Ye, randomTATRP, what happened to you?'. Some nice external validation (even tho I didn't need it from them) and probably vag tingles. Would make a move if both of them weren't girlfriends of my buddies from the college.

[–]afitch14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your posting shirtless photos for validation from others. It all goes back to dopamine and quick fixes.