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Plate withholds sex, I soft-next her. Now she asks me why did I go radio silence out of sudden. Should I explain it to her? (self.asktrp)

submitted by Venenarium

My favourite plate has started to shit-test me by withholding sex. I kept it cool (in order to not appear butthurt), but deep down I wasn't really amused by the situation. She has thanked me for being so understanding and we spent the rest of the day together like nothing happened.

I do the standard diffuse and soft-next her. I do the strict no-contact and radio silence. Now she's texting me, wondering why I don't text her anymore.

What do? Should I explain the situation, or just keep my distance for a few more days, take the time to respond to her texts and then meet up with her after a week or two and let her make things right?

EDIT: CONCLUSION: I've proceeded with distancing myself, taking a lot of time to respond to her texts and keepeing the conversations short when she called me. She went home to see her parents for the weekend, so I covertly let her know that I'm planning on spending the weekend with my other prospects. Before her train home arrives, she begs me to walk her to the station as she's "desperate to see me". I comply. I end up getting a BJ in a public stall.


[–]nastynickdr 127 points128 points  (2 children)

She knows why, you can be damn sure.

Just say you have been busy. Next time you meet her, escalate sexually, and if you get shot down, soft next.

[–]lurkingtacopiller 90 points91 points  (0 children)

|soft next

HARD next.

[–]illusiveab 23 points24 points  (0 children)

/thread

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 91 points92 points  (37 children)

Never explain shit to a woman. Never defend yourself. Never rationalize. Never justify. Never argue.

Just ignore the question. Your next communication should be to set up a meeting, where you will escalate and fuck. If she's not responsive to your escalation, make your soft next a harder next.

After that, if she's been a really good plate, you can give her another shot in a few weeks. If she's only been so-so, just ghost and only bother with her if she comes to you first.

Whether you contact her 3 weeks from now or she comes to you, same rules as above. Set up the meeting, escalate, fuck.

If you want to hang out and be friends and do fun shit, give your bros a call. Women are for fucking.

It's also worth noting that there are various reasons a plate may withhold sex besides just pushing for a deeper level of commitment. She could be fucking someone else, caught something, and is holding you at bay until she's done with her course of antibiotics. She could be testing the waters with someone else and is getting ready to jump ship. Or she could just be done with you and is now trying to milk you for dinners or something.

[–][deleted]  (35 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Endorsed Contributormordanus 27 points28 points  (15 children)

    You've got to be kidding man. Women make terrible friends. That's why women seek men as friends because they can't stand each other.

    [–]Soarinc 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Dude, there's 1 thing they're good at. I just randomly texted a girl who was never a plate just an acquaintance that I'm sick and asked if she could come over and cook for me, lol.

    I was kinda trolling but sure enough she agreed (she's a nursing student) and she watched tv with me and cooked spaghetti for me. All I've ever done for her was be a facebook friend (she and I were in same pre-health student club)

    [–]Endorsed Contributormordanus 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Escalate then. It sounds like she might want to be more than just friends. If shes good looking enough anyways.

    [–]Ricardo_Machista 2 points3 points  (9 children)

    Uh... what is pre-selection?

    [–]Endorsed Contributormordanus 8 points9 points  (8 children)

    Preselection is when your attraction goes up because more women are attracted to you. Being their buddy has shit to do with that. If all you had to do was be friends then the friend zoned losers would be rolling in women. Preselection works if the women are sexually attracted to you.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    Lol at guys are befriend women just for preselection.

    [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    "We're just friends" preselection works if you're the one friend-zoning her.

    If she's pining for you and her friends know it - but you won't give her the time of day - every girl in her social group will want to fuck you.

    [–]Endorsed Contributormordanus 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    It's the male hamster at work spinning rationalizations for why they keep them in their lives. Female acquaintances are great or having your male friend's females around is fine. Believing that a woman is going to give you friendship that is equal to what you are giving in return is lying to themselves.

    [–]CrodudeClassic 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Though I realize it's incredibly rare, I do have a very good female friend I've known since high school. She buys me drinks on occasion and cooks for me, and occasionally (but not as often) I return the favor. However, she does her own thing/often has boyfriends but still makes an excellent wingman when going out. And she loves doing it.

    Black Unicorn?

    [–]Endorsed Contributormordanus 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Black Unicorn

    I don't know about that. Almost every single time I mention it a couple guys will say that one woman in their life was worth being friends with. To me that only proves the point that men shouldn't spend the effort to try to have a female friend. Chances are really against it going well. I think the chances are way lower to get a worthwhile female friend than it is to marry well it just doesn't carry as terrible of a consequence for failure.

    [–]CrodudeClassic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    To me that only proves the point that men shouldn't spend the effort to try to have a female friend

    Suppose I didn't really think of it like that, since a lot of men DO spend time searching for platonic female companions (this one just sort of stumbled into my life), but I can agree with that one - spending time and energy searching for platonic female friends is ultimately a waste of time with little chances of any positive returns.

    [–]DarkCotton 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I belive that was a reference to jeopordy, and not an actual question. Although that was a concise explanation of what preselection is.

    [–]Endorsed Contributormordanus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thanks man. Depending on the day and mood and other certain circumstances, getting a joke on the internet is sometimes rough.

    [–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Lel

    [–]dan_legend 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    There is legitimately one good female friend out of 100 applicants. 99 terrible friends to find 1 good one. I did find 1 good one tho, she lives 3 hours away now but its great to save money crashing at her place when I go to see my NFL team in action.

    [–]Endorsed Contributormordanus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I think you just got lucky because the number is more like 1 out of 10,000. Even at 1 in 100 it's still too low to make the gamble.

    [–]Cunt_Robber 10 points11 points  (6 children)

    I second this. The best female friends, I've found, are the ones you've fucked and then have both gone your separate ways sexually but still share a positive, platonic bond. It's rare, but be sure to recognize it when it happens and put some effort into maintaining it to see what course it takes. Play your cards right and you will both benefit from the other's perspective on different matters such as relationships, sex, and even things like fashion and cooking. Women are more sensitive/intuitive to topics like fashion and home decor, to name a few from personal observation.

    However, basically it comes down to being mindful of certain personal weaknesses and using the symbiotic friendship to help cover more bases. Other than the obvious date set-ups, she could in her classic role as a female have access to certain resources she might grant you access to as well that you would normally find challenging to obtain (a great example is drugs: she befriended a bunch of drug dealers and had access to quality shit).

    [–]ItsTheHomeWrecker 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    deleted What is this?

    [–]Cunt_Robber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I explained a couple positive roles a female friend/orbiter could play in your life. I don't want to argue definitions. Cheers

    [–]Soarinc 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Also their body releases dopamine when they care/nurture for you like if you have an excuse and ask them to come over and cook for you.

    [–]Cunt_Robber 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Somehow I didn't know that. Shit, it freaks me out when one of my plates starts doing shit like straightening out my collar or offering me food at their place. I psych myself out thinking I'll eat over there one time and bitch'll think it's ok to invite heself over and I'll never fucking get rid of her.

    [–]Soarinc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I spent tons of "relationship capital" that I got from a few girls just literally dissecting their brains and getting their attempt at truthful feedback, lol. The ultimate lesson I learned is that there are very few "innate" things that make them different from guys at a pure engineering standpoint but holy shit they are super easily influenced by what they perceive!

    If men and women saw a commercial for drinking cat urine and they all were high value people and looked like it's the greatest activity on earth, the women would struggle to not go along with this idea (hamstering but this time the hamster would lose as no amount of brad pitts on tv drinking cat urine could convince them to try it!)

    [–]EvolvedVirus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Childhood friends as well, they can be decent. Though not very useful.

    [–]VipKyle 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Go on..

    [–]third-eye-brown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I have good enough female platonic friends that they will drive me to the airport when I need it.

    [–]Zaorish9 6 points7 points  (4 children)

    I've tried very hard in my BP days and having a legitimately fun female friend is extremely rare to impossible. The closest I've got is a pen-pal housewife in another country who is into the same physically impossible "adult interests" that I am and we talk about it--in a flirty way, sending dirty stories etc--about once a month, and even then she will have random dramatic freak-outs once a year for no reason at all--at which times I simply do not respond. That's the only reason I am sure she's female lol

    Most guys who have "female friends" are enjoying the "m'lady" sort of feeling either consciously or unconsciously.

    [–]third-eye-brown 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    Most awesome guys have a few awesome female friends, in my experience. I certainly do. I would wager that the guys who only have male friends don't have a huge social circle anyway.

    [–]NotUpToAnythingGood 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    I've got a female friend that would set me up with one of her female friends if I showed interest in her friend. She likes to help her friends who help her. Hell, she even offered to get one of her hot friends for a threesome for her husband. He turned it down.

    She's the closest thing I've met to a unicorn.

    [–]third-eye-brown 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I know some pretty incredible women. In my opinion the point of the unicorn concept isn't that there aren't "one of a kind" women out there. There absolutely are.

    But they still obey the laws and ideas of red pill, no matter how great of a person they may be. Which is great because once you understand it, it's like a psychological button you can press to influence a person's actions. I've gotten access to things and been in situations I couldn't have achieved myself without a woman with whom I had pull introducing me.

    [–]NotUpToAnythingGood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That's what I was driving at, you said it better.

    A man who has his act together makes effective use of his resources, physical and personal (which includes both men and women).

    [–]TomilloDanup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yes por favor

    [–]doxxxmeifucan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Blue pill subversion. Men and women can't be true friends. Mods.

    [–]SwallowRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Sure there's value. But if you want friendship then men will always be better at it.

    [–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (4 children)

    LOng ago, a long since disappeared blogger named Solomon II said:

    --Never spend money on a woman you're not banging. No lay, no pay.

    --Never argue with a woman you're not banging. No ass, no sass.

    [–]rattamahatta 42 points43 points  (0 children)

    --Never argue with a woman you're not banging. No ass, no sass.

    Never argue with a woman.

    [–]EvolvedVirus 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    It's fine to spend money sometimes, mainly if they are like a college student or unemployed. If she offers to pay too, then yes let her.

    You just don't spend time and commitment with her.

    "i just spent the whole day with her, despite no sex" ... that's the big fatal mistake here. You shoulda just left.

    Though, if it was already pre-planned or something, then you can still spend a bit of time, so as to not look butthurt.

    --Never argue with a woman you're not banging

    This is true.

    [–]Wheyman92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yeah exactly. I'm doing pretty well for myself as a young engineer at 23 years old. I spent a weekend with a girl who is 20 and is a college student, and 100% self reliant. SHe get s no help from her parents and she lost any scholarships she had because she's not the brightest girl.

    I paid for her during the weekend notb ecause i wanted to get laid, but because 20 dollars at 3 diffeerent venues, or splitting the hotel we stayed in, would mean a lot more to her than it would to my bank account.

    I then, hwoever, find out she makes about 500 a week as a hooters waitress and did feel a little cheated because she could have at least bought a few drinks for herself... But hey, that's women right?

    [–]jackandjill22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Nice.

    [–]Bitcoin-FTW 10 points11 points  (2 children)

    Dread is really simple. Whenever she asks why you aren't texting or spending time, say you have just been very busy.

    The other mistake you made was spending the whole day with her after she withdrew. Again, say you need to get some work done or run errands or some shit.

    [–]Venenarium[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    spending the whole day with her after she withdrew. Again, say you need to get some work done or run errands

    It wasn't ideal, but we had the whole day planned already. I feared that disappearing mysteriously after having been denied the sex would make me look affected by the whole thing.

    [–]Bitcoin-FTW 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Definitely not the worst thing ever if only done once or twice, just don't make a habit out of it and make sure she knows your time is valuable.

    [–]FrameWalker 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    I think you did a good job however you should have cut the day off an hour in with a plausible excuse. Just say you were busy and continue as if nothing happened. Rinse and repeat.

    When a girl witholds sex pull back commitment. Avoid sleepovers and cuddling for the next month

    [–]detachedbymarriage 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I think he played it right. The day was already planned to spend the day together, so by suddenly having something else to do would show butt hurt.

    Smile, go about your day, then ghost her would be of my opinion too.

    It shows he doesn't need her sex to have fun but at the same time, that if they arent having sex, he doesn't need her in his life.

    [–]baube19 4 points5 points  (6 children)

    Are you sure she is not like... in her period? It's not something girls like to share early in a relationship.

    [–]Venenarium[S] 4 points5 points  (5 children)

    Absolutely, according to the calendar on her iPhone (which she has shown me), she's in her fertile days.

    [–]ihavebeenlifting123 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Was this the first time she's done this? I'd let it slide, could be she was having diarrhea or something you don't know. If it's a repeat thing then yea next.

    [–]i_forget_my_userids 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Seriously. It could be literally anything. Throw a little dread, but don't go all out like some others suggest.

    [–]SoRedSuchAlpha 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    in her fertile days.

    Could that be why she turned you down?

    [–]XXXmormon 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    No shit.

    Even cunty ugly girls get full of themselves when they're fertile and you are a loser.

    If you don't change when she's on her way up, her opinion of you is going down. Even if you're great.

    [–]SoRedSuchAlpha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    No, I meant, like, if you guys are depending on condoms to prevent pregnancy she might not want to risk it during the fertile days.

    [–]RPShitlord 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    She already knows why. Tell her or don't tell her, but no nookie = no you.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorfnordsnord 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Never apologize, never explain.

    Respond to her stream of text with "Hey. Been busy. You?"

    Then go radio silent for a couple more days.

    Then set up a meet and escalate. If you get the stiff arm, respond as before and hold your radio silence longer.

    In the meantime, game other women. In particular, contact her hottest friends that you know. Be friendly and positive, but not particularly sexual. She'll hear about it, and fast. All those hamsters will spin, and she'll get that she may be being replaced.

    What she decides to do about it is up to her. If she's not willing to just be a plate, well, we call 'em that because they eventually fall.

    [–]Modbsutansalt 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    NEVER explain--it's a shit test. Just pretend like nothing happened. IF she continues to press, agree and amplify or otherwise use one of the techniques from the sidebar for dealing with shit tests.

    /thread

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Laying down the law is only done in LTRs. By stating your conditions you are implying a quid pro quo - and what she'll want in return is your commitment.

    Remember it's her job to prove to you that she is worthy of such a thing. She should be hot to give you the good pussy to show you she's worth keeping around - or even possibly that commitment she's looking for. It shouldn't be something you give quickly or easily. When women start playing head games to get what they want from you instead of trying to show their worth, that's a red flag revealing that she is less concerned with your happiness than she needs to be.

    Depending on how it went down and what words were said at the time of the freeze out is important. In the moment, you should def ask "Hey what going on? Are you not into this?" and that is her opportunity to give you her reason for rejecting your advance. It could be a legitimate reason she's not up for it that day. If you get all huffy and diss her off when she has a legit reason - then you become the asshole. You can't be a raging dick all the time. If she has a legit reason you let it slide and be like alright, that's cool. You still totally try to slip her the dick the next day sometime - I mean really how often do these issues linger for multiple days? If she shoots you down the next day then Houston we got a problem.

    Chances are she is shit testing some kind of head game (probably attempting to follow some really dumb advice her stupid friend gave her) and that will be apparent. That's when you have license to be a dick and be like Oh shit... You know those plans we had...? Yeah something came up I gotta jet out <smirk> sorry (don't do this immediately wait a little after you suffer the bullshit rejection).

    When a chick plays a head game and it blows up in her face - they panic and start sucking the dick. The return can be immediate. Then you can be like You know what let me try to hold off that other thing so we can have our fun day. Miraculously your schedule clears.

    Every shit test is a house of cards - you just have to know which card to pull and the whole thing crumbles. You shouldn't have to deploy multiple day freeze outs and radio silence to teach a girl a lesson. You should be able to handle it in the moment. If it's me and I'm dreading a girl by not calling her - then its because I'm sick of her shit and looking to stick my dick in something else. All dread must be authentically motivated by a desire to move on. You're weighing your options because the present situation is untenable.

    Usually when a chick you're banging all of a sudden stops wanting to bang - but still wants the hang out benefits - she's trying to push you into her orbit. You're just another dude fueling her ego - like she gave you enough sex already and now she's got you locked into puppy dog status. A girl like that is fucking other dudes 100%. If she's not fucking you then she is worthless to you. HARD NEXT.

    Remember TRUDATNESS LAW: IF A GIRL LIKES YOU SHE WILL FUCK YOU. EVERYTHING ELSE IS A BULLSHIT GAME

    When you come to a shit test (head game in oldfag speak) - be assertive and direct - ask the right probing question - find out the story - decide if you can deal with it or not - deal with it - move on.

    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    Sounds like a plate thats gonna start probing for commitment.

    Shes withholding sex because she wants to test and see if you care about her other than just for sex.(comfort test). What you should of done that day is not even push for sex at all after she said that,buy her an ice cream cone or something small like that (just enough to show her your not using her just for sex even though you are). Her hamster would of said ''ah he actually does care about me and not only about sex'' and she would of fucked anyways.

    Dont explain the situation, do not mention why you went distant, she knows why. set up a next meet. Beware that within the next few days or weeks she will start asking the classic''what are we'' ''are you seeing anyone else'' its etc. its up to you what you want at this point, but if you dont give her hope that one day something more might happen she will leave.

    [–]Cunt_Robber -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I'm not sure you could conclude that from OP's description. Does she know she's a plate OP? i.e. were you upfront about what you wanted from the beginning? Did you two have that "talk?" Or does she have certain expectations and now you've found yourself having to string her along just to poke her?

    I'm pretty straightforward with my plates--they know I'm not at a point in life where I'm able to commit. Well, the point is to make it seem that way anyway. When this is brought up I've had quite a few express similar sentiments and thus it is implicitly agreed that we are just fwb's without being explicit in discussing "what we are." The ones who want relationships are immediately weeded out--abundance mentality--I cordially wish them good luck and next. The ones who start out good but get hit by the feels... the only way is to back out and let them down as gently as you can as a man (still challenging for me as my empathy for them in that position often softens me and guilt creeps in to cloud my mind). The ones I get the feels for... time to back out and find more abundance.

    OP you know what you want, go after it. We know what it's like when you have a favorite plate that you may have to next. Think about your alternative: you waste your time playing pussy carpet and stroking her attention ego while she gets more leverage. This is her trying to play you man. She knows what she's doing, as others have said. Sex is her currency, and she's using it to try to tip the scales and get more. Awalt. Surprised? What you do is put a stop to it early on before she's got you by the balls. It might be rough on your mentality (until you get used to doing it regularly), but next her if it ultimately becomes a power struggle: if tensions rise because sex comes at a higher and higher resource cost (time, energy, money), jump ship and let her play her games with the next chad till he does the same... let her ride the cc man, let her ride...

    [–]idgaf- 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Don't explain. Be vague, you got busy. That implies you're seeing other girls. Offer a meet up and escalate aggressively.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Fuck explaining. Tell her to come over on a certain day at a certain time. Carry on as if nothing has happened.

    Women feed off of emotional turmoil. Telling her what the deal is removes the mystery and denies her the chance to hamster. Your job is simple: make her wonder.

    [–]0kool74 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This isn't baseball where you get 3 strikes and go back to warming the bench. This is plate and what is appropriate behavior. There's only one strike for that.

    She knows the game, but is getting butthurt because you're not supposed to play the game like that. I'd leave it at soft next for now on the off chance that she gets it together.....since you mentioned she's your favorite plate. But, in the event she still tries show you down, make it a hard next!

    [–]returnofthemackX 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    I personally would say something like 'I just feel we are going different directions and want different things, what do you think'

    She knows what you mean by it

    [–]forgetful_storytellr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    underrated response.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

    [–]nobodyinparticu1ar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Eh, I disagree, this sounds like a passive aggressive thing a bitch would do.

    [–]7Fig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Her question is also in her frame. Answering it would pull you into her frame.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The only text you should send is, "come over and show me how bad you want me to"

    [–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Explaining is a waste of time and often makes shut worse. Even if it's reasonable. Just make up some weak excuse. She'll know you're lying, but that's alright.

    [–]Soarinc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's a terrible advice but I advise "yes!" because I just wanna know what happens when her hamster goes thermonuclear trying to spin the truth into some cognitive nonsense, lol. Please report back with updates if you tell her the actual truth!

    [–]SoRedSuchAlpha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm having a super hard time constructing the timeline here. She withheld once, or more than once? What is "diffuse" (defuse)? Did you soft-next, talk to her again, and then go radio silent, or is "diffuse and soft next" = "no contact and radio silence."?

    [–]ecosci 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If she figured you had good options she wouldnt pull this shit,this is the last thing alphas worry about(poon)because its readily available to him and women know it and f*ck him like a porn star so dont put up with this you seem like a cool dude next her she will do more shit testing i gaurantee.

    [–]meh613 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Point her to this post as your strategy guide for the relationship. Tell her that if she leaves a comment with the details that she's a plate dating a TRPer and posts it on r/feminism, you'll reward her with sex.

    No, actually don't do that. I was just joking.

    [–]doxxxmeifucan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    She has thanked me for being so understanding and we spent the rest of the day together like nothing happened.

    Good boy beta.

    Now why wouldn't you continue orbiting?

    You shouldn't have spent time with her once she gave that ultimatum. If you get shot down again, kick her out.

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [deleted]

    [–]Venenarium[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    If a woman do this to me, I would ask her, why

    You indeed are new to the red pill :)

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Venenarium[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Should I ask her why she is withholding it? I she says she doesn't want it, I think there has to be a reason and she could explain it.

      This is why. You're trying to communicate with a woman on a rational level - you're trying to reason with her. Women are creatures of the emotion, reasoning is a male approach to things. By trying to rationalize with her, you're forcing her into a masculine role, which is a huge turn off.

      Of course, you would eventually get a reason from her, but it would be some bullshit (I'm not comfortable enough, too much stress, I don't feel loved by you, etc) that's far from the actual truth (I'm not attracted to you any more). You would then proceed to fix all of the things she tells you are the cause for your sexless state, which would only make her see how desperate you really are. You can not negotiate desire.

      I've edited the conclusion to my story in the original post, see how that went.

      Nothing you'll ever read on this subreddit will ever be as helpful as reading this book - do it!

      [–]exit_sandman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My favourite plate has started to shit-test me by withholding sex. I kept it cool (in order to not appear butthurt), but deep down I wasn't really amused by the situation. She has thanked me for being so understanding and we spent the rest of the day together like nothing happened.

      Something is missing - you didn't specify why she didn't want to fuck. Maybe she has a legitimately good reason that's not losing attraction to you or wanting to probe for an LTR. And if it turns out that she has, why make it a dealbreaker that you didn't get candy once?

      [–][deleted]  (7 children)

      [deleted]

      [–]Bitcoin-FTW 8 points9 points  (3 children)

      This is an awful approach. You are not engaging her hamster. You are trying to reason with a woman. Too many words. You will activate her ASD. You also acknowledge that sex is a tool for her to use to get your time straight up.

      It's so much better to simply apply dread and let her figure out that sex is how she earns your time.

      [–]korewarp 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I can see the guy's point though. What if she DOESN'T realize that sex with fix the issue and she simply gives up(But would be willing to spread otherwise)?

      [–]Bitcoin-FTW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      All girls know that sex will get them what they want deep down

      [–]keepmymangoqueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yep, plausible deniability always needs to be maintained. I mean in her own mind

      [–]FrameWalker 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I would not give her the satisfaction of opening up or letting her know you bave been affected. Girls always see these displays as male inescurity and whining. The best move is to show her she is being replaced covertly.

      Its the difference between you negotiating for sex and her performing to earn your attention.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Good response. You know things are bad when a fuck buddy decides out of nowhere to withhold sex.

      [–]Endorsed Contributorstickfiguresk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Convey that you've been too busy with more worthwhile endeavors, indirectly.

      [–]KneeDeep185 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      I'm also in the 'keep it 100' boat. Explain that sex is important to you. You have friends already, you don't need more. Tell her that unless she can quote football stats, name every player on the Warriors and/or develops a sense of humor, then sex is what this is about. Her choice.

      [–]someboringdude -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      No.