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Enough on how to get girls, how do i get good guy friends? (self.asktrp)

submitted by jjohaann

TRP advices have helped me fuck a buffet of girls so far. But when it comes to making guy friends(no I am not gay) i am absolutely horrible. Kind of hard to admit but I am a beta cuck when it comes to forming good friendships with guys. I always end up investing myself fully with no gain and I do not wish to hang out with girls for the rest of my life. Are guys to be handled exactly like girls? I am not sure.


[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 122 points123 points  (20 children)

You know that emotional connection and common interests bullshit you tried to forge with women back before you knew better? That shit actually works with guys.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (3 children)

To an extent. Neediness is never attractive.

But good point nonetheless.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]theredpill22 24 points25 points  (1 child)

    Same here. I respect a man more when he is honest. One friend of mine told me point blank that he had to postpone his exams because of depression / stress. My respect for him went up 10 fold, because it takes balls to admit that to a fellow man. I've been struggling with clinical depression all my life and I have nothing but respect for any man who is also fighting it.

    Unfortunately it seems many people don't share my view and it would take me a long time and a lot of built up trust (likely years) to ever admit weakness to another man irl.

    [–]waylandertheslayer 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    There's also a huge difference between admitting a vulnerability to a close friend, and openly shouting about all your personal and private problems. The first one should be met with understanding and respect, the second with dismissal.

    [–]TomFoo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Made me chuckle because it's true.

    [–]gerwig 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Kind of, but it seems like so many guys are emotionally closed off to other men because they don't want to seem gay.

    [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    Love isn't the only emotion, you know. Lots of guys get excited and passionate about the same things. Lots of guys get angry about the same things.

    Emotional connection isn't limited to big hugs and caring for each other like you would for a chick.

    You just need to learn how to interact with men like a man. And don't buy into the feminist bullshit that masculinity is some kind of fake machismo mask that men wear because we're all afraid of being called gay.

    Masculinity is the real deal. Men who suppress their masculinity to try to fit in are the ones wearing masks.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    well said bro!

    [–]vorverk 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    I disagree. Men bond by teasing, competition, play, humour etc. Pedestalizing, writing poems, taking them to movies and buying them dinners is gay.

    [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    There are more emotions out there than love. Guys who are excited, passionate, or angry about the same things can bond. Emotional connection isn't all about hugs and dates.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Ianwood just had some health issues but he does lay out male social groups fairly well here, to add to archwingers bit here

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]1grubek 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Does it? Or is just you being high in your beta delusion?

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]ValhallaShores 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Quick- downvote him, he's not snorting blow off hookers asses and occasionally enjoys the company of women!

        I don't think it's beta delusion if you can draw a line, and from the "nexted them" comment, it sounds like you can. X-files/fuckfest on.

        [–]jjohaann[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Tried and it doesn't work.

        [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        With guys, you can honestly say that you just didn't meet the right dudes yet, then. Keep trying and you'll find someone you gel with.

        [–]rajesh8162 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Not bluepill guys. There are many around me. That's what OP is getting at here I think.

        [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Most loser men are actually uncomfortable around other men. Because they're feminine.

        [–]1grubek 30 points31 points  (3 children)

        Men build friendship through doing together. Women can sit down and talk and socialize, they can build friendships by talking.

        We men can get together to talk but rarely good friendship will come of that. We bond better when we have a common purpose, when we do shit. That is why people here recommend joining a gym or a sport group.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]JackGetsIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          This is such a wonderful observation. Women are by their nature very very skeptical of talk. Which is why they may feign interest but will flake or cheat if you aren't offering something significant. I think this is also why the 'plant the seed' method of courting women is so powerful. Plant the seed that you dig her but show know other interest and work on demonstrating social status and other traits. Then come around and harvest that seed that she's been turning into a full on lust plant for you. Women don't flake on men they've built up in their mind as 'right' for them. They will in fact do almost anything to jump your bones. You can even use this method in microcosm. You get to a club/bar/scene early. Chat with lots of different women and then leave, move around and come back and see if anything is growing.

          [–]Thizzlebot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          We bond better when we have a common purpose, when we do shit.

          Yeah for real, go play golf or something and tell me you don't feel closer with your homies after.

          [–]AwakenedSovereign 15 points16 points  (0 children)

          Mutual interests and personality. Find guys who want to do things that you are also interested in. Be that drinking beer at the local trivia bar Thursday nights, or playing disc golf in the park.

          After basic mutual interest is established, friendship is a question of your personalities meshing. Easy to talk to, fun to hang out with, masculine & active, doing shit with their lives, etc.

          [–]akeelbashir 12 points13 points  (0 children)

          Mutual interests man. That how I've met all my friends. Be it music, whatever. I find one thing in common with them we tend to have others.

          [–]partdopy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          Just go do stuff. Talk to people, coworkers, people at the bar, etc.... You get better at it by doing it. Eventually someone will ask if you want to go do something, mountain biking, go to a baseball game, a shooting range after work. Just say yes and don't act like a knob. Done.

          To make it simple - 1) Talk to everyone 2) Accept all invitations (as long as its not something you honestly hate)

          [–]anon1moos 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          Men worth having around are not easily gamed.

          [–]RXRob 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          From my own experiences, most of my friends have come from hobbies and sports. I'd say that Blood Bowl, wrestling, rugby, scouts, church and pub quizzes make up 95% of my male connections.

          Get out there. Introduce yourself. Crack some jokes.

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Guys connect through activities, for example i'm a ball-a-holic, so all my boys I've met through through ball. You can't make your whole life about pussy, and i'm glad you finally realized it.

          [–]Original_Dankster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Hobbies, sports or activities.

          I started learning drums, so I could jam with some musicians I knew.

          I joined a volunteer organization, so that I could meet people with some similar interests.

          I have a old-school gaming hobby (tabletop, not computer) and met some dudes online and now we game weekly in real life.

          I joined a gun club, and do precision shooting now with some guys.

          I volunteered for the board of my professional association. Met dudes that way.

          My advice to you is get a hobby, sport or activity with the kinds of dudes you want in your social network.

          [–]randomperson123321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Forget the common interests, forget the common past, forget the common social/financial/racial/etc characteristics you have with others. As you grow as a person, those matter less and less. Not only that, people you had similarities with will start to envy and even hate you as you grow and they remain stuck or follow lesser (to their eyes) paths.

          Your best bet is to find people with similar mindsets and intellect as you (which is hard and time consuming). That way, no matter what you do with your lives you will still have a bond and be able to understand each other.

          [–]Icanus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Join a man-club.
          Sports, politics, culture. Doesn't matter. Find something you love.
          I'm a member of a political organisation and of a shooting club.
          It's great for networking and from the 200 guys I know there about 20 are real friends.

          Do not join an organisation where women are relevant. They are shit or will soon be in a shitstorm.

          [–]lilbro1984 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          Look for local leagues of a sporting event you enjoy/ play. Join.

          [–]askmrcia 7 points8 points  (1 child)

          This Op. This is where I met most of by guy friends. Also Op if you're out of college, us guys friendships are not like women. We don't go out to bars together 4 days out of the week for happy hour. We don't text each other full blown conversations throughout the week gossiping about nothing.

          All my guy friends, we will do activities together once a week, once a month or even a few times a year and still maintain a strong bond.

          But yes doing rec leagues together like dodge ball or flag football is an excellent way of meeting guy friends.

          And depending on your job, work can be a great way too. Be careful with that one. But a few people I worked with have became my closest friends.

          [–]jjohaann[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I guess my lack of involvement in the sports have been th contributing factor to my lack of guy friends. It usually ends up me talking to guys like I 'used' to talk to women which never works. I am joining the gym from. Next month nevertheless. I will update you on how things go.

          [–]traveldeedee 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          I had a lot of guy friends. After periods of drastic self-improvement, I have found them not worth my time to hang out with. So now I'm fine being left alone.

          [–]JackGetsIt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Just level up man. There's another tier of guys worth your time and energy out there.

          [–]waynebradysworld 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          What are your political views? Outside of the obvious mutual interests comments I am seeing (which are spot on), I've made more friends through my outspoken politics as a grown man than through anything else. Also more enemies. Be true to yourself and steadfast in your beliefs; some folks will hate you and block or try to doxx you, others will respect you and develop feelings of admiration that can blossom into great friendships

          And no, don't handle guys like girls. If a guy treated me like a girl I would think he was a faggot or even worse, trying to AMOG me and I likely wouldnt put myself in that situation again

          [–]JackGetsIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Shared interests has been oft repeated in this thread but also you need to pair that suggestion with not burning bridges. I've found that too many times in my life I've disagree with someone and left the 'group' 'club' or 'sport' to then realize that I just cut myself off from lots of other potential friends because of one or two disputes.

          If you join a group of men and don't have a bromance with anyone guy that's not a big deal. If you have a falling out with one guy just accept that and don't allow it to infect the group. Just become cursory friends and continue to meet more male friends and you will eventually meet men that you not only share interests with but have a genuine respect and comradery with. This process takes time but male friendships last a lot longer and are a lot more valuable then female friendships and are worth forging.

          [–]Thewelshpill 3 points4 points  (9 children)

          join an mma gym

          [–]COLIE53 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          THIS!!! at the very least a BJJ gym. Its medicine for your soul and you'll meet some solid fellas to go drink a beer and watch the game with. Jus dont act like a try hard and you'll be just fine.

          [–]2dfx 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Easier said than done in smaller communities

          [–]i_forget_my_userids 13 points14 points  (0 children)

          male hamster

          [–]bigk12345 0 points1 point  (5 children)

          What type of martial arts would you guys recommend for a 6'4 guy? I see jiu jitsu gets recommended, but I want to have some stand up too if the shit the fan and there is a real fight. I guess I am looking for something that will make me well- rounded.

          [–]digestingthepill 1 point2 points  (2 children)

          I personally like boxing.

          [–]Askada 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Yeah, boxing or kickboxing is THE shit. In questionable bar/street situations nothing will solve things better and faster than a single, solid punch in the face.

          [–]digestingthepill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I love it dude. My plan is to learn BJJ next (for ground game) and down the line, Krav Maga.

          And the way you expressed yourself worried me...Punching is a good skill to have but with great power comes great responsibility. I've seen too many liveleak and streetfight videos where people hit their heads on concrete and die... if not receive brain damage. its not a game, people die from this shit, and it's certainly not worth it ( you discovered the RP already and are on a good path.. why throw that away in an instant?)

          I'll only use my power as a last resort. And if it gets to that point, I'd consider it a failure on my part for not deescalating the situation.

          [–]_vend7u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          May Thai and bjj should be enough for you. If you want to prevent yourself from even getting to the ground I would recommend some wrestling or judo.

          [–]Thewelshpill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          give them all a go see which ones you enjoy, scope out different gyms and see what the guys are like