TRP stance on having female "friends" that you don't fuck (self.asktrp)

submitted by [deleted]

I think it's bogus. I've LJBF'd a few stunners for pre-selection and it's down right awesome. Walk into a bar/club with two 9's on your arm and watch how your night goes. They help you get laid and you help them get laid, it's a mutually beneficial relationship. After a while they'll start hooking you up with their friends who are horny or fresh out of relationships and need that rebound cock. They'll tell all the hoochies how cool you are and how they're going to want to fuck you when they meet you. THEY DO THE GROUND WORK FOR YOU. Not to mention you'll get to see the true inner workings of the female brain as they will tell you all the shit they'd never tell their boyfriends

Caveat : you will want to fuck them and they will want to fuck you, it's natural. Key is to have some dick power and not do it. The pro's outweigh the cons. The second you fuck them they are no longer "just friends" and it fucks the whole dynamic up. You can keep these kinds of relationships going for a long time if you play it right.

Now for the askTRP part. Why does everyone seem to be against "friending" women? I'm not saying trust these chicks with any serious information you might trust a brother with but damn dude if this isn't one of the most Machiavellian ways to get your dick wet idk what is. Figured you all would be on board with that kind of shit.

[–]BeeBopJoe 154 points155 points  (10 children)

The problem is that most dudes who come reading for advice do that from an orbiting frame. If you want to fuck her and your orbiting her then its a no, if its an organic friendship then there isnt an issue.

But yeah, if you read asktrp often you could tell that a lot of guys somehow don't realize that they are orbiters.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (9 children)

True, I found myself orbiting a oneitis and that's how I ended up here. No one is immune. I owe the sidebar a lot for many positive life changes and eye opening theories/facts. Literally opened new pathways in my brain and cleared up a lot of confusion from my pre-TRP days

I guess what I'm suggesting though is going into it with an "I'm not even going to try and fuck this girl frame". Like literally write it off in your mind, pretend she has AIDS and might be your sister from your dad's ONS in Vegas 22 years ago, back in his cocaine days. Even if you're not getting laid at all she'll WANT you to. Once you're actually friends she'll go out with you and try to get you some, it'll be fun for her and a little challenge if you're an awkward guy who has a hard time getting it in. As long as you're actually friends

Could help some dudes, idk. Figured it was worth offering an opposing view point to something I see preached around here a lot. Having girls as friends isn't always bad thing, just be smart.

[–]voxiqs 27 points28 points  (8 children)

Completely disagree, the sister thing turns Reddit on. You probably just ruined a few nofap streaks

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (6 children)

Oops. She's your cousin....and she's a leper. Better?

[–]Fapisluv 1 point2 points  (2 children)

The majority of reddit's userbase is American, so try again?

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I guess there's nothing you guys won't fuck

[–]Philosfy 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]CDBaller 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You just turned on all the readers from Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas and several other rural states.

[–]Freedomeofchoice 3 points4 points  (1 child)

And most muslims

[–]Gator79454 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]Acrimont 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]ncstaterepted 8 points9 points  (2 children)

In junior year of college, I found a housing add, 3 girls looking for a room mate. I messaged them that I expect cooking and sex, and 2 weeks later I was pre gaming at their place. 3 sorority sisters, Alpha Phi, living next door to 4 more sisters, and 2 doors down from 4 more. All upper-class sisters. In my state too many girls in one house is an illegal brothel.

I end up living with them and it opened my eyes to hot female existence. So many experiences from that house and the parties I'd get invited to. So many Chads, so many tears. Alpha dudes trying to be my friend to get close.

I hooked up with the hottest house mate the last week of living there, and it turned a great friendship into some awkward shit and flipped all the girls in the house. Thankfully it was the last week. 7 years later, still FB friends but not a word has been said between us.

Hot female friends get you INVESTIGATED by girls anywhere you go. Club, bar, Sheetz the morning after. But u also must let the White Knight of friendship die, because guys are gonna make these hot bitches cry and u get to realize that it's not totally the guys fault.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

"hot females get you INVESTIGATED by hot girls anywhere you go"

My point. They'll do the groundwork for you.

Do your thing and reap the benefits.

You cannot go into a situation like this with a "white-knight" attitude, absolutely. None of this will work, you will be seduced and crushed, especially in your situation. Honestly you wouldn't have even ended up in that situation with a white-knight attitude.

Cool story though, that's one hell of a way to grow up. You'll always have that experience under your belt. Besides the hottest housemate, which is bound to happen in that situation and why I press on the point of not giving into the temptation, how did that work out for you? Not in the sense of no contact after 7 years, but did you parlay that INVESTIGATION into action at the time?

I truly believe that when you have at least decent SMV and good game, this is one of the best ways to experience TRP. Would like your take on that.

[–]ncstaterepted 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah man. I was still in a high school oneitis at the time so that is a big regret, I often turned down sex and bit hookups right in the bud. Boy I turned down an FFM where it was best friends and the chick I wasn't hooking up with was sitting on the edge of the bed begging to be allowed. It was more about her obsession with her super hot friend than it was about me. Some twisted minds appear the cutest outside. It took a long night of liquor followed by beer for me to go through with anything sexual, due to very high guilt levels regarding my oneitis (she was fucking a rugby player little did I know at the time). And I never spit much sober game so I always had to go from 0 to 100 with girls in the same night.

Another story, the night I moved in was my bday. Drive 2 hours from home with a final load of gear for school. Winter break just ended. The girls texting me all day, when are you getting here, when are we going out?? I had no idea what it was like to go out with a group of beautiful single women. I got moved in and we started pre gaming ASAP, after about an hour of drinking and getting to know each other, a strange girl popped in (I didn't know they lived next to sisters). They had some covert female communication and it was decided that I and my hottest room mate would go over to their place to continue the pregame. So we went into their house and it was empty, and she called her sisters on the phone and they told her to come upstairs. We went up and I was warned I'm entering a bedroom, came in, and the room was absolutely squeezed with 4 same sized beds with 4 same sized TVs in front of them. It was me and my hottest room mate standing there with 4 of her sorority sisters laying in their beds wearing matching comfortable yet cute night gear. The tension was so high I wanted nothing to do but bail. I think I fucked up a 6-soms or at least group BJ... You tell me.

Every girl who came to the house wanted to fuck me, and I hooked up with a lot of hot girls that had issues the likes of which thinking about depresses me. I wish I was as sexually open back then as I am now, I would have slayed properly.

[–][deleted]  (6 children)


[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

"Firstly, you do not want to fuck her"

I disagree with this, if you're going to use her as quality pre-selection chances are you're going to want to fuck her. Just don't. See the big picture and the purpose. I've had some of these girls come onto me so hard that my dick was leaking. Just don't do it, fuck other ones. Encourage them to get laid, introduce them to guys they find attractive at bars/events. Get the same in return.

Your second and third points should be laws in this kind of relationship, yes.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Gotcha. I was reading that "you don't want to fuck her" as in she's not attractive to you.

    I see how you intended it now. You're right, you do not want to fuck her, that would be bad.

    [–]resnine 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Shut her down anytime she starts trying to lay her emotional garbage on you.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Can be amusing when you're not attached.

    Hell, you might actually be able to influence her positively. Shocking.

    [–]Narcissist456 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    Dude every single extremely attractive chic I’ve met is an entitled self absorbed slut who treats everyone around her like shit. 9s and 10s think they are blessing the world with their mere presence. They actively try to use their guy friends for favors or as an emotional sponge without ever giving anything in return.

    But hey, I can only speak from personal experience. If you can manage symbiotic friendships with hot chics then all the more power to you.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    "9's and 10's think they are blessing the world with their mere presence"

    Exactly, it's hilarious.

    I enjoy it.

    Edit : it's almost as funny as Patrice O'Neal

    [–]Narcissist456 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What exactly do you enjoy about it? The only thing I enjoy is putting these hoes in their place.

    [–]microgum 19 points20 points  (17 children)

    I'm 17 and I have to say the easiest type of game is social circle game.

    Most of my f-closes / dates have been off of my approaching but social circle game comes to a close second.

    Girls are great to have around.

    If you have a good frame then it really doesn't matter.

    These girls are just like any other friends, they'll buy me lunch sometimes, etc.

    You essentially make them your orbiters.

    TRP is against friending women because most people here don't have the frame to justify having a friendship with a woman, therefore resulting in them saying "They're friends" even though said guy has been trying to get with this girl, and tries to hamster his way into making it believe it was his decision.


    Girl -Friends- lead you to other girls, and if need be - with the right frame - to potential plates if yours need cleaning.

    [–]Trp2166 5 points6 points  (9 children)

    I've noticed female friends are much more willing to buy me shit/do things for me than my guy friends.

    [–]ReaperX44 1 point2 points  (7 children)

    You need to meet some new friends.

    [–]Trp2166 1 point2 points  (6 children)

    Guys seem to be much more transactional, at least guys who aren't beta. If I spark you, you'll spark me. If I buy the beer this time, you guy it next etc. Betas who want to win your approval will of course do shit for you without you asking, but that's a bit different.

    However my female friends will often do shit for me simply for the sake of doing them. I've had girls do my laundry when I was sick or hungover, steal me full bottles of wine or, most hilariously, make their 22 year old fuckbuddy buy liquor for me and the boys free of charge.

    Having female friends is the best way to understand women for sure.

    [–]AnjaJutta 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    It is my experience that people try to buy or pay for other people's things as some form of status posturing. I know some betas who objectively trade giving alpha acknowledgement to other men for free shit. Having said that, I am not sure if the people practising this form of posturing where they buy other people shit are actually alpha, just dopamine seekers.

    [–]Trp2166 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    I know some betas who objectively trade giving alpha acknowledgement to other men for free shit

    Then who is the alpha? The guy who trades validation for material goods or the guy who uses flattery to get what he wants?

    [–]AnjaJutta 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    It's a difficult question to answer because of not only the context and frame of any given situation but also the motivation behind each individual as well as to where they stand within the framework of the 5 big personality traits.

    If you feel you can answer your question, I invite you to make a post about it.

    [–]Trp2166 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    It’s the guy who uses flattery to get what he wants. Making betas feel important and like they’re alphas is an easy way to manipulate them and get what you want while still being completely in control of the situation. A guy who trades validation for material goods is about as beta as it gets.

    [–]AnjaJutta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    The keyword here is "in control of the situation" or rather in control of the frame.

    If you are a salesman in control of the frame and close a sale, you just used your charm to manipulate someone into giving you money.

    At the same time, as part of sealing the deal, the salesman paid for his client's dinner and made sure to give him a somewhat upscale gift to add to the picture that the company he represents is wealthy and therefore must be profitable.

    So, from my viewpoint, it's not who gives and who receives, it's who is in control of the situation.

    And, if a buddy happens to show up every day at around dinner time, just so he can smooch free dinner, he is not an alpha, he is a shitlord and going to get kicked out of the house.

    [–]SteveStJohn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Guys seem to be much more transactional

    Not disagreeing with anything else you posted. Just this line. Women have a ledger and are constantly checking the balance.

    [–]ReaperX44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's probably because me and my friends is into cars and we usually work on each other's cars on the weekends. And I also do automotive photography. And yeah now that I think about it, it's more like barter than giving straight up. I remember this one time when he fixed my car and I give him photos and a whooper in return.

    [–]Kenny_Twenty 6 points7 points  (4 children)

    You're still essentially a child and Red Pill doesn't fully apply to you, yet. Be careful about giving advice at your age. It's not s great idea.

    [–]eaazzy_13 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    I disagree, I got more pussy at 17 than I do now. Redpill applies to everyone with a dick who chooses to use it. It’s never to early to start working on yourself

    [–]SteveStJohn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Redpill applies to everyone with a dick

    Exactly! My Morpheus is RPing his sons so that they don't lose their shit over some girl some day. The oldest boy is a few years away from puberty still so the lessons are about building himself and frame.

    [–]Kenny_Twenty -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    No. That's not how it works. It's not a 'sexual strategy for those with a dick'.

    Yes, many of the concepts can be beneficial but it is not fully applicable for someone in highschool.

    You guys are at the mercy of your parents nor do you have the full rights an adult has.

    I'm sure you don't like to hear it but that's just the way it is.

    [–]microgum 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I get what you mean but some of these issues are very trivial if you have experienced them or have been here awhile (I’ve been here since I was 15, it’s helped me greatly)

    I’m self-aware to know what’s not in my reach.

    I don’t comment or respond to posts about marriage or business.

    [–]DevilMayCry -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    Come back in 4 years.

    [–]microgum 1 point2 points  (0 children)


    No, thanks.

    [–]flashcash12 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Friendships with mutual attraction are insanely hard to get. Every guy here wants to fuck a hot girl and if the girl shows interests in them they will go for it. 99% of the time if a guy is friends with, a hot girl, he's an orbiter who has no chance. Girls that we friend zone, we aren't attracted too. In the rare case it works, its great but it usually never happens.

    [–]JamesP2018 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I've found conversations with females are delightful when discussing events and the emotions that flow with them. Discussing abstract ideas is more like talking to a parrot though, aometimes there's a useful nugget, in general it's just better time spent reading up on the idea or talking to a man with interest in the same topic.

    [–]packetdata 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yes true that and in the workplace or college you can use them to their advantage. Example : i had some credit fuckups in my freshman year and had to clear those before going to my junior year,the exam controller for the freshman year in this year was no other than my good female friends mom so passing certain difficult subjects was a breeze. The only reason i had dick control even though she came on to me was that i did'nt really find her attractive and was doing her best friend back then so.

    This girl was a bff of my hot gf(Now EX)(discovered redpill thanx to that breakup). Anyways we are still friends and i have learned a lot of internal female gossip which eventually helps in plating other chicks.

    Guess how i found out my Ex had not so good intentions ? Through a woman who is a 9'ish but just a good friend i hangout with,one of her friends told her about it and she told me about it.She also has set me up with some of her friends,put in a good word.Helped me even dress up to and correct some mistakes in my approach.

    Although these girl were baiscally lets say 6-7's so, as /u/Narcissist456 says 9's and 10's are self absorbed and only want you as orbitor's or as a instant validation source. They can never be good girlfriend.s

    [–]Aggressive_Beta 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I have a couple of females that I consider to be friends. I don't think there is anything wrong with that as long as you don't want to fuck her and your continued association with her is helping you to improve your SMV in some way. Think of it as an economic trade - she is getting provision from you (validation/attention) and you are getting an SMV boost from her. She could be a gym buddy, helping you make money, being someone to practice your game on, or involved in a hobby that boosts your social status, or whatever. It doesn't matter as long as your association with her is boosting your SMV.

    But you also have to remember that she is a woman and thus her definition of friendship is different. Women can't be friends with each other the same way that men can. They don't have the same concepts of loyalty and honor that true male friends have. They can't because all other women represent a threat on her ability to monopolize men's provision so they have a biological imperative to destroy each other. That's why there is always bullshit drama, passive-aggressiveness, flakiness, backstabbing and why women seem cycle through different "besties" every few years.

    So you need to expect her to treat you as if she would treat any of her other female friends. As in, keep the friendship shallow, distant, and light-hearted. It's the same reson you can't trust betas as friends, because they will act like women by throwing you under the bus if they think it means the chance to get what they want from the opposite sex

    [–]blister333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That last part about beta men throwing you under the bus is so true. Had an old coworker who I got along with great but if a woman came into the picture, he’d do anything to make you look bad to increase his chances with her by .1%. It was pathetic. Not even attractive chicks either. Not friends with him anymore

    [–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    If you go for the kill with every attractive woman you see, you will stagnate in your notch count, quality, and social status due to the high rejection rate with hotter women and the social effects it causes. If you want the hotties, social capital is your number 1 card. Hot women are scarce and not evenly distributed so you need an inn. A hot woman is the key to the castle because they always hang with other hot women and often other respectable dudes. This is especially true when you're the new guy. You need to halt your advances and observe the group dynamic and get some info on everybody and whose with who, etc else you'll be ostracized or bottom bitched.

    If you see a group of hot women, be the fun guy at first with no direct intentions, and look for subtle cues of interest. Choose the most receptive and leave the others alone, friend zoning them and add them to your social capital as props for your game via social media. Your looks only get you so far. Status status status is the key.

    There's a clear difference between using a hot woman as part of your image and being an orbiter. Don't be the latter.

    [–]SteveStJohn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    be the fun guy at first with no direct intentions, and look for subtle cues of interest.


    [–]mams1724 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    It's funny, I've posted a thread like this a time ago and instantly got called a beta orbiting bitch. I responded with why this could be beneficial and was just told that I was hamstering an excuse. Thank god I use TRP and test it out on my own than having a fake "Chad" TRP member telling me exactly who I am.

    [–]justicecantakeanap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    use as pivots

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    There's a difference between having female friends you don't fuck and being an orbiter. The overwhelming vast majority of guys who find the red pill praxeology have serious orbiting problems, and that's the reason for the rule. Once you get to the point that you don't need the rule, you don't need it.

    [–]Bedtimeshine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Having female friends is training on being outcone independent. And if you’re an actual friend and not an orbiter... it will get you way more pussy than whack ass tinder.

    [–]SheenCharlie 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    Have you read The Rational Male? Rollo Tomassi, The Godfather of TRP explicitly states that women do NOT go around telling other girls how great you are or do any of the work for you. They actually hinder your ability to fuck other women. The sexual marketplace is a competition and women who are only your friends will discredit you to other potential mates.

    [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

    My experience has shown me otherwise. It's all about how you play it

    [–]SheenCharlie 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    If you want to go against the founder of TRP then why are you asking what TRP’s opinion on the subject is? Clearly your opinion is set in stone and you’re just here looking for validation. If you’re so sure of yourself then why even post? Keep doing your thing, why give such a fuck?

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I believe Rollo is one of the most brilliant men around, his concepts and insights have changed my life. Do not be so quick to judge. Validation is not what I'm looking for, the opinions of the community and reasoning behind it, backed up by personal experience is. You offered neither. From my understanding your point was Rollo said so, therefore it's true.

    [–]As-You-Were 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    You should at all times have at least one female friend. How else do you get the inside scoop?

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)


    [–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    I like to have female friends that I don't fuck, most of the time they have been my flatmates or some very close friends who already have a bf. I do friendzone girls. It's nice to hang around attractive girls.

    [–]SteveStJohn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I've had 3 female roommates. They do provide social validation and are fun to hang out with. So it probably is possible to have female friends.

    [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)


    Flatmates, or roommates as we call them in the US, is how my first relationship like this came about. Was always trying to fuck/orbit the stunners before her. That's what opened my eyes to this concept

    [–]Bruchibre 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I'm from Europe and used to say roommates too but now I live in Asia and here this involves living in the same room, so now to avoid confusion I got used to saying flatmates.

    Was always trying to fuck/orbit the stunners before her

    What do you mean?

    [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    If she was attractive, I tried to fuck her. If I did not suceed, i would orbit or cut all contact. Platonic friendships like the ones I'm describing do not work after you've shown attraction in that way.

    Any female "friends" I had we're not hot enough to be pre-selection for the type of girls I was interested in fucking. Utilizing them in that way did not cross my mind.

    [–]GainzdalfTheWhey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That's why I only befriend girls I have made up the decision to not be in a relationship with, because even if I want to fuck them, plenty of other fucks elsewhere. But if she's a great LTR contender, I wouldn't be close friends. My judgement would be clouded.

    [–]Zanford 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ask what value you are getting out of any friend, male or female.

    If she's a female friend who wingwomans for you and gets you into parties or sets you up with other chicks...awesome. She might be a real friend. Same if she helps you with homework / projects or spots you while lifting.

    Ask yourself - if you were told by an oracle 'you will never hook up with this chick' would you still hang out with her? If she were a male version of the same person, would you still hang out with her? If the answer to either of those questions is no, you're an orbiter.

    Remember that while a hot female friend can be preselection, she may not be as much as you think (or may be negative preselection); girls have lots of ways of signalling to each other whether they are fucking a guy (b/c of a desire to appeal un-slutty she'll want to signal to other girls if she's NOT hooking up with you, and b/c of a desire to 'mark her territory' she may also signal to them if she is).

    [–]RedHoodhandles 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    She's ugly if I don't want to fuck her. Why would I be friends with an ugly chick?

    If she's not ugly I do want to fuck her. Why would I just be friends with a chick that I want to fuck. That makes me basically her girlfriend.

    Yeah yeah I know I know. Social circle game blabla. Preselection etc. But this friendship or whatever you want to call it won't last. What if she gets a boyfriend and he's smart enough to view your friendship with disdain. What if all her girlfriends are ugly or occupied or both. What if she uses you as emotional tampon. Which she will, since you are her girlfriend.

    As I see it, this juice is not worth the squeeze.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    "What if she gets a boyfriend and he's smart enough to view your friendship with disdain?"

    Good. I might just fuck her for the lolz.

    What if? What if? What if?

    [–]rpsheepdog 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I don't see any problem with this tactic...

    I think the only problem would be calling the woman an "friend" as most BP guys think have a female as a friend and a male as a friend as the same thing, which they should not be.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Once you read the sidebar though you know what's up, you have the tools to recognize ~75% of intergender relationship dynamics immediately. It's awesome. That shouldn't be an issue.

    Also definitely don't try this on your oneitis. It should be new girls that you start from day 1 not entertaining the idea of a sexual relationship with. Maybe that'll be what's so new for a lot of people. Sure was for me in my heavy BP days. Any girl that was hot I always entertained the idea of fucking, which is the root cause of orbiting.

    But now we have the tools! Yay!

    [–]2comment 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I think it's bogus.

    Follows with a wall of text strategy TRP has been preaching forever about pre-selection.

    [–]1walawalawa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Simple, my rule is I'm friends with them IF I don't want to fuck them

    If you're friends with them and WANT to fuck them...you're an orbiter.

    I do have female friends who I take dance classes with, sometimes have drink with---practice game on. But do not want to fuck because i'm not attracted to them---even though some are hot.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    As others have mentioned they're not "real" friends

    They will never actually fully understand your position on something as soon as an emotion flares up and they start using it as a reason to back up their argument.

    E.g "no 613, that's wrong" "tell me why" "because it's mean" "you're still not telling me why that's wrong" "because it hurts others feelings" "lmao"

    Is a typical example of something you'll hear from a girl's mouth when you get into more ideological/philosophical conversations with them.

    As a result of this girls are okay to be buddies with, as you mentioned going clubbing with girls in the group adds to the dimension of fun, but imo the pre should always be done with the lads exclusively and then you link up with the girls at the club or at another pre.

    I hang out with girls when I just want to have fun and be stupid and run my mouth of and take nothing seriously, my guy friends are who I go to for my life problems/questions/conversations/etc

    I also think most guys here have a good definition for what a friend actually constitutes. It's not someone you went drinking with 2-4x, at least not to me, it's someone who'll be there for you and drive 40miles to your place if you ask him to because there's something going on in your life. How those kinds of friends are made still beats me, one day you just look back and realise "holy fuck, XYZ and I are great bros and it's been like this for a while now", it's like a moment of sudden introspection.

    I've had that moment of understanding happen regarding many different guys over the course of my life, but never ever ever has it happened with a girl. Every single guy that I've hit this level of relationship with is someone I continue to hang out with and keep up with 2,5,10 years later. With girls there is not a single one that was a 'buddy' that made it longer than 1-2 years.

    Take of that what you will

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Once was out for a run and ran by some patio, 3 girls 1 definite beta guy. All 3 girls were out on their phones fiendishly scrolling instagram or snapchat or facebook, the dude was just sitting there looking at his feet.

    I double backed and straight up told him "if they won't respect your time don't respect yours" 2 of the girls' jaws dropped and the other spoke up telling me "wtf we're all friends". Unfortunately this is the level of friendship your average North American girl subscribes to these days. Miss me with that garbage

    [–]2chazthundergut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Exceptions do not disprove the rule.

    Do not give females your time/ validation if they are not giving you pussy.

    [–]Throwaway-242424 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

    Make friends with a hot lesbian for the benefits with no "should we fuck" issues to mess up the dynamics.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I guess, yeah. Haven't met many "hot" lesbians though. Plus the ones I've met seem to be on the high end of the crazy scale. That's a whole new can of worms right there bubba

      [–]talexanderc -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I have some friends that are girls that I've friendzoned.

      [–]NeedingAdvice86 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Strange...apparently I am too polarizing for just friends with females.

      Even when I try to LJBF with a girl, they go horribly cold because I apparently haven't tried to fuck them or something and soon disappear or go distantly cold, even angry with me?

      So for the present, it apparently is I follow the escalation routine, fuck them and they become obsessed with me or they feel "rejected" and get angrypissed then ignore modedisappear?

      I do know one dude who attracts tons of average looking girls as friends who he doesn't fuck but who flirt constantly with him like he is their BF but he isn't smashing, it appears it is because he provides a ton of social outings for which he pays and they latch on to for a day ight out. I can't really tell if it is helping him land other actually attractive girls...he has much different taste in girls....and I never see hot chicks around him that he might be smashing. The hottest girl in his cadre, came to workout with us and asked if she could work out with me, asked for my phone number a week later, then started to text me a bunch and ask me on a couple of outings but has since gone cold as my interest most likely appeared lukewarm since I never texted and didn't ask her out myself. She now is back hanging on the dude and hanging out at his partiesoutings?

      [–]jm51 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      My best female friend for 15 years was, imo, gorgeous. If you think Joanna Lumley was a looker, then my friend was a looker.

      She was also asexual. I could tell that but most guys couldn't. She had no interest in me and I had no interest in hitting on her. Why throw a stick for a dog that doesn't like chasing sticks?

      She always had a bf for social reasons but they would always have jobs that meant being away from home a lot.

      In the time that I knew her, 12 orbiters fell in love with her and made fools of themselves.

      I'd help her out with transport and she would feed me. Whenever I called, she would ransack the fridge looking for food close to its best before date to feed me with.

      [–]resnine -1 points0 points  (4 children)

      For sure! They act as social-proof!

      [–]SheenCharlie 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      No they don’t. They act as proof that you’re worth Friend-zoning if that’s what you mean. But social proof only works if you’re hooking up with them.

      [–]resnine 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      If you can pretend like they are with you though is what I am saying, or there is some undertone in your relationship. I recall when I had my arm wrapped around a girl I knew, friends then. And this other girl all the sudden began talking me up, soon after than we began dating.

      [–]SheenCharlie 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Well you don’t normally put your arm around girls you’re just friends with, as they’re often ugly, otherwise you’d be an orbiter, but I get the point of what you’re trying to say.

      [–]resnine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I have unique relationships I suppose, I have girls who I am not orbiting that I enjoy spending time with. Not many like I use to, it helped more back then.

      [–]You_Know_This_MAN -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      It's one of, if not the best way to get laid with hot women.