In a recent shroom trip I realized a large part of my lack of success with women was my own self-defeating mindset which varied from self-pity to extreme lack of confidence and an abundance of self-doubt and extreme scarcity mentality. While being a realist I certainly acknowledge my own disadvantages I'll get into later, but am optimistic I can get at least some sort of ball rolling and find success. Even if I am never able to surpass HB6.5 levels but I am still able to enjoy the sexual or romantic company of women I'll be completely satisfied. The only hard standard I have is the woman I am fucking/dating cannot be fat. I've tried fucking fat women before and I lift weights in the gym, not the bedroom.
While my journey to becoming a higher value man has begun, I'm still confused as to what I should begin with. The unique circumstance I find myself in I spoke of earlier is that I am physically handicapped and am quite short at 5 feet tall at 28. I'd like to mention that my intellect is as sharp as a knifes edge so I'm good there. I realize attraction is non-negotiable. It's either there or not.
In order to better help you, the advisor, of the exact nature of my handicap here are some shirtless pics my photographer buddy did of me for practice. For thsoe who care, it's severe congenital scoliosis resulting from a very rare genetic syndrome that caused my rib cage to be smaller and not grow/expand properly. I'm in the process of organizing for a surgery I need to replace one of the three titanium rods in my back. Suffice to say this replacement, which hasn't been touched since I was 16, will significantly even my shoulders.
- I've already been lifting for 2 years.
- I cardio regularly
- Just got accepted to 2.5 years of schooling at a highly credited tech institute for comp engineering
- paying off debts via a job right now
- employed after spending years bumbling around
Should I read the recommended books such as The Rational Male and others first before beginning to regularly approach? I've already read No More Mr Nice Guy. My entire mindset since Jr High School towards women was to look at one I liked, hope she noticed me and then talked to me. I've known for years this is the absolute stupidest way to think but it just became a habit. I'm ready to finally face my fears of rejection. I realized a lot of my fears and doubts are shared just as much by other guys as myself. While disadvantaged when compared to some others, there is no reason I cannot achieve my realistic objectives. Thus, my whole mindset all these years was self defeating.
I wasn't sheltered at all by my parents so I'm properly socialized, I just lack game and courtship experience in general for example I have many guys old and young who I talk to in the gym. I hope that if I improved things in certain areas I could actually get something rolling here and that it's worth pursuing. After a 7 month LTR/oneitis recently re-surfaced and blew the fuck out of me I realized that nothing is going to be handed to me on a silver platter. I have to go out and conquer that shit on my own because nobody is going to do it for me.
Any advice offered will be appreciated. My question is what should I start with? Complete sidebar and recommended reading lists? Then cold approaching? A lot of people are initially made uncomfortable by handicapped people so I'd be interested in hearing advice on how to handle this circumstance that's uncommon with most people.