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Is it just me or...... (self.asktrp)

submitted by nummas

In the past, when a guy decided to settle down and marry, he was respected by his mates and other men.

These days I actually lose respect for my friends or anyone who decides to marry.

Am I the only one?


[–]wobbleelbbow 112 points113 points  (2 children)

Because marriage now it's almost worthless. Men get very little benefits and all the burden and obligations. At least in Western world

[–]wataDs 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Yes. Dont get the government involved during this political climate and the forseeable future. Just fucking dont. Not even prenups are future proof. Any cucked judge can flip that shit without a sweat.

[–]ElectricalLocal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but, I'm pretty sure prenups don't protect anything earned after the marriage either.

[–][deleted]  (16 children)

[deleted]

[–]throwsdoor 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Underrated comment. This is why we all need to watch out

[–]omega_dawg93 9 points10 points  (9 children)

finding Cynthia in the USA is like finding a needle in a haystack, blind-folded with one arm.

[–]AlfredKinsey 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Or you can take the blindfold off and see that there is plenty of hay to cum on.

[–]omega_dawg93 4 points5 points  (0 children)

been dere.... done dat.

where is Cynthia? lol

[–]Lightning14 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I'm 32 years old now and know three close buddies, including my brother, who started dating their now wives in or shortly after senior year of high school that has worked out well for all. They had some stumbling blocks early on, but because their gfs/wives did not ride the cock carousel in their college years, their hypergamy doesn't appear to be an issue. I know at least 2 of them have N-counts of 1. The third I can't imagine is higher than a handful at most. They all came from good family homes as well of course.

Meanwhile, those guys, despite having some bluepill tendencies, (and their gfs/wives) have done well for themselves in their careers not having their energy distracted by chasing chad/pussy.

The older you get the more those catches are tied down and the fewer left on the market that make great LTR/wife/mother material.

[–]omega_dawg93 3 points4 points  (0 children)

great story.

but i don't know, don't want to know, don't pretend to know, and wouldn't guess what another adult's n-count actually is... only they know-unless you're with them 24/7.

i have 3 sisters... each of which could win an oscar for acting as they can create tears on command to 'prove' to their bf's that they did not cheat. meanwhile, there were guys sneaking in the windows night in/out. my point: women lie... and lie a LOT.

with the current divorce rate and the tendency for women to initiate divorce, the 'market' is just that... a market. you need to evaluate what's there carefully, choose wisely, and not pay too much for what might be rotten once you get it home.

[–]AlfredKinsey -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The older you get the more those catches are tied down and the fewer left on the market that make great LTR/wife/mother material.

or you can date younger women

[–]-DeadLock -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Unfortunately you have to give up on white girls usually. It can happen tho.

[–]omega_dawg93 0 points1 point  (2 children)

white girls? what about AWALT, or are white girls supposed to be 'special' in some way?

[–]-DeadLock 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Im saying you might need to marry into immigrants for traditional values

[–]omega_dawg93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh i agree with you there.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wait what’s wrong with the Sarah and Brittany types?

[–]AlfredKinsey -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

If my wife gains 40 lbs in the first two years of marriage, I think it's only right to cook her and eat the body.

[–]-DeadLock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bizarre comment/10

[–]KumonRoguing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ass has the best marbling, trust me I'm a food inspector.

[–]Bruchibre 57 points58 points  (27 children)

I think getting married without a good and official reason is stupid.

- Having kids, good reason

- Becoming a president of the USFA and needing a first lady, good reason

- Getting a visa, disputable reason

- Religious reasons, well if you are religious OK

So many guys get married just for love etc. I've asked people before: do you have kids? no. They why did you get married? I don't know.

If you are with a girl for a while people always say "put a ring on her".

What for? does being married give you a false sense of safety?

[–]manwhoknowshow2feel 51 points52 points  (7 children)

Right? A Gf can cheat on you and so can a wife, except you only lose a couple of hoodies when you dump your gf

[–]Tiway22 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Haha losing hoodies... right on the money bro

[–]manwhoknowshow2feel 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Still a bit pissed that I lost my favourite hoodie that I've had for 5+ years to the ex

[–]Tiway22 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Same here! And it’s not worth taking to her to get it back lol. RIP the good hoodies.

[–]1morescoobysnacks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of my ex's stole my favorite pair of dior jake jeans. You guys don't know pain.

[–]ChadTheWaiter100 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Bitch took one of my favorite dvds - semipro

[–]Bruchibre 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you owe nothing to your gf, you officially belong to your wife.

[–]AlfredKinsey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you only lose a couple of hoodies when you dump your gf

Lol, this guy has experience!

[–]Lightning14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You left out financial reasons. My brother married his wife when he entered the marine corps' officer candidate school to be a pilot. It jumped his pay higher and ensured his wife had medical benefits, etc.

They had been together for a good 6+ years before that, including 2 years post-college in which she was pulling in more income while he was figuring out his career path. He'd already been through his lowest, being under/unemployed for some of that time, so this wasn't just some hot lay that was going to divorce rape him next year.

Since he's been in the corp for the last 5 years I've seen their relationship become more and more RP - even though he's not aware of RP in any way. He's just become a better man, and she's become less career driven and increasingly more supportive.

[–]DoomzDayTurkey 1 point2 points  (2 children)

why do you say getting a visa is a disputable reason

[–]clausternn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very situation dependent.

Often times for some people it's clearly a good reason though.

[–]PerplexingPegasus_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ask your local Nigerian prince, he’ll tell you why it’s worthwhile.

[–]Thunderfin 1 point2 points  (1 child)

  • Getting a visa, disputable reason

Canadian here, and gotta say I really want a US green card...

[–]AlfredKinsey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll marry you, bro!

[–]pridebrah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you are with a girl for a while people always say "put a ring on her".

Man, I hate that. The flack I get for hating that is immense, too.

What for? does being married give you a false sense of safety?

For some guys caught in the matrix, probably. In my experience it just seems like it gives the woman a false sense of security that she's got it all locked down now and can take a deep breath before entering comfort mode. Of course, a natural sense of dread is a wonderful thing from there if you happen to end up in marriage.

[–]Jabers13 0 points1 point  (1 child)

USFA?

[–]LateralThinker13 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I assume that's the United States of Feminist America.

[–]Khiv_ -3 points-2 points  (9 children)

I don't see how having kids is a good reason.

Kids and marriage are just a bad investment, they are a way of feeding some fantasy but the cost is too high compared to what you get in return.

Just use this money/time to invest in yourself. You could lift, get a great body, get plastic surgery, get a great career, and fuck 18-25 yo chicks until your penis dies. You could pay for sex regularly and it would still be cheaper than raising a kid.

I don't see marrying for religion as respectful either. I respect people's right to believe in whatever they want, but being religious certainly reduces my opinion of a person.

Getting a visa and becoming a president of whatever seem like legit reasons, though.

[–]Bruchibre 10 points11 points  (4 children)

I don't see how having kids is a good reason.

That's absolutely not necessary, just a personal point of view. If I have kids one day I would like them to happen in the framework of a marriage. Maybe because my parents are still married.

Kids and marriage are just a bad investment, they are a way of feeding some fantasy but the cost is too high compared to what you get in return.

Well you don't really get much in return. I think either you accept that everything you've done dies with you (and goes to the government) or you try to leave a legacy on earth.

Just use this money/time to invest in yourself. You could lift, get a great body, get plastic surgery, get a great career, and fuck 18-25 yo chicks until your penis dies.

I assume it gets old. I'm 35 and am not there yet but I think by 45 I'd like to have kids.

You could pay for sex regularly and it would still be cheaper than raising a kid.

True. You could also go on a cruise around the world or buy 2 sport cars and it would be cheaper than raising a kid, not sure about what's your point here.

I don't see marrying for religion as respectful either. I respect people's right to believe in whatever they want, but being religious certainly reduces my opinion of a person.

Agree with you. I'm not religious. But I admit that some people are.

Getting a visa and becoming a president of whatever seem like legit reasons, though.

Getting a visa, kind of tricky. An ex gf studying in my country asked me for it like 12 years ago and I said no. I could have gotten married with my current gf to become resident in her country (where I'm living) and find job easily but I didn't. I went the hard way: tourist visa and find a job in a company who could sponsor me. I don't want to owe her anything of that kind, not worth the headache I think.

[–]Khiv_ 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Well you don't really get much in return. I think either you accept that everything you've done dies with you (and goes to the government) or you try to leave a legacy on earth.

Maybe all fo my ideas here are because I'm part of the first group. When you die, you are dead, you don't exist anymore. Any legacy that you leave or will be meaningless to you because, well, you won't be there to give meaning to anything.

So I guess it really depends on your philosophies. My point is just that I'd rather invest in stuff that I know will give me some gratification than invest in a family, which is an uncertain investment that will certainly cost a lot monetarily and emotionally and might not give me the return I expect.

[–]Bruchibre 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I get it now thanks. It’s all about personal philosophy. Your point is valid and sometimes I think about it. But that’s quite nihilistic.

Well let’s say in 10 years from now you decide that you want kids. Do you think it’s a legit reason to get married with their Mother? Haha

[–]Khiv_ -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

I think of myself more as an existentialist than a nihilist (when we die we fade into nothing but we can still give meaning to our lives while we are living them).

Well let’s say in 10 years from now you decide that you want kids. Do you think it’s a legit reason to get married with their Mother? Haha

That's a good question, but even under this light I'm not sure it's a good idea to marry. Yes, the woman might help me out raise our child or she might decide to divorce and make it hard for me to see my own child. I think I would rather raise the child on my own and if I had money I'd hire people to help with stuff like making food or whatever.

[–]MiZiSTiK 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Lol you'll die alone then.

[–]Khiv_ 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Everyone will.

[–]MiZiSTiK 2 points3 points  (1 child)

No my Father won't die alone because I will be there kiddo.

Same goes for my Mother aswell, you however, will die alone. So you have that to look forward to.

[–]Khiv_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You'll be there, but he will be alone in that he will be the one feeling the pain and the imminence of death. I'm saying this because I've been really ill and even though I had loving people around me, I felt alone and desperate.

Also, one thing to note is that relationships are rarely reactive. What I mean is that just because you put effort into someone, you have no guarantee that they will put it back on you. You could be a great father and raise your child well but he could still grow up giving 0 fucks to you. On the opposite, you could be a self-absorbed asshole and still have people care for you. Look around and you will see that what I'm saying is quite common.

I get this idea of raising a family in order to be less lonely, but I think there is no way to make sure it will work, it might be even true that the chances of this working are the same of it not working, which makes it just a gamble and a fantasy.

[–]prankster999 16 points17 points  (6 children)

I actually view marriage as a double edged sword of sorts. Just a way for a woman to lock you down, cash in her chips, after she's spent years having "fun". And then divorce you because of her inability to pair-bond, whilst still getting paid via alimony payments.

[–]Vouch33r 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Double-edged sword means that it could hurt(benefit) both you and her. Don't you rather mean 'double a burden' for a man?

[–]prankster999 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well.. there's still the benefit of being perceived as a mature individual, and having an enhanced reputation as a "decent man" among the older generations. That is until everything falls apart when the man's life is ruined at the end.

[–]Vouch33r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get your idea now and agree wholeheartedly. Have a good day bro!

[–]taa1a 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Not all women are like that though.

[–]prankster999 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Are you talking about the 5%?

[–]taa1a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are people with principles in the world and even in our depraved culture. They certainly aren't the majority, but they're around.

[–]TheRedPillMonkey 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That's because marriage was a man taking over the responsibility of a woman from her father and creating a family to further society. She was then dedicating herself to her husband's frame. Doing what it took to please him, support him, and raise his family in whatever way he chose. A few drunken abusers caused laws to be written acknowledging that women are worthless without a man, so for them to leave the situation, they needed to be still provided for.

Now, marriage is signing up to give a woman what she wants in her frame because she can leave you at any time and take half your shit because what was a safety net acknowledging women can't fend for themselves is now an entitlement she can get just because she wants to fuck the pool boy. She's trying to leave his frame the day after the wedding and insists "happy wife happy life" is what she's entitled to.

Marriage used to be the ultimate responsibility for a man, now its the ultimate liability.

[–]light-----------dark 5 points6 points  (5 children)

Nope, you’re not.

[–]Bruchibre 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Am I the only one?

It's like these people on ChangeMyView who post perfectly normal and mainstream opinions.

[–]kellykebab 0 points1 point  (3 children)

You mean like 98% of the people who post there? Who then go on to "change their view" after 1 halfway reasonable counter argument comes along that they really should have been able to consider on their own. That sub is such a disappointment.

[–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Definitely a disappointment. I liked the concept but never found anything remotely interesting there.

[–]kellykebab 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ditto

I'm realizing that part of the problem with reddit is that it is mostly people in their late teens and early 20s who have just enough knowledge to be way overconfident about their beliefs and reasoning abilities.

[–]Bruchibre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I feel that a lot about TRP as well. Some people here are blunt AF and are obviously in college so see everything through that scope.

[–]mugenowns 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Men's only bargaining power is their ability to walk away. Marriage takes quite a bit of that away.

[–]RedSkeller 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a sucker's bet, and while I try to stay non-judgmental to my friends - it is disappointing to see them swept under the wave of popular opinion. That's all marriage is these days, it's a commitment of convenience. Women are told at an early age this is what life is all about and men are told they need to do it to be a stand up guy for a lady. Big daddy government and media push it because it reinforced social norms and keeps the capitalism machine running rather smoothly. So I feel bad my bro is under the impression he has to marry Jenny Suckabunchacockadis because he poked her for a few years and she wants to pretend they have a love story for the ages but you can't control the narrative obviously.

[–]2chazthundergut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Modern marriage is an abdication of power to the female.

It does serve its purpose though

[–]bluechipmonk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe they are secretly jeaoulus

[–]oytrp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the context.

A guy who meets a young HB with (hopefully) a low N count. Spends years vetting and cultivating a relationship. Marries and has children. I respect that. It's not ideal and maybe not in your best interest, but respectable.

A guy who has had meh luck with women and meets a post (or fast approaching) wall woman and settles after dating for a year? Soft.

 

Seems like option two is becoming the norm among millennial. Like clock work, as soon as they get a LTR at 28-30s they suddenly get hitched.

[–]Prodigalrockstar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in US, yeahhhhhh I see what you mean.

Most of the mates that have married are going to regret it very soon. I respect the ones that did it right though. They are unquestionably the minority IMO

[–]Hyperintelligentwolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not the only one.

Marriage in today's society seems to be a status thing, not a trust based on genuine long-term commitment...

[–]Thunderfin -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't get why you'd lose respect; I'd more-so just feel happy (or sad) for them, depending on the type of women they're marrying. I understand AWALT, but if they're ignorant of TRP, that's their problem, not mine to criticize.

[–]mieato -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes just you in the entire universe.