My Girl (25) Left Me For A Fat Old Rich Guy (self.asktrp)

submitted by 21bulldog

Hello Dudes,

Somewhat new to RedPill and all of its ideas. So far, everything I’ve read is completely fucking true, which is kind of a harsh reality to accept. I stumbled onto this after my girlfriend of 4 years left me for an older fat dude with money.

Get this. I’m 25, very good body (but working on making it even better now), my career is still in the early stages (I come from a shit family so had no help with connections and had to work my way into everything on my own), so not making bank yet, and even if I was I’d like to split costs with whomever I’m dating (she did not like that at all and would comment on me being “cheap”).

Gf was a very solid 9 in my eyes. Great body, feminine, beautiful long blonde hair and blue eyes, very pretty face, great sense of style and presentation, and fun and friendly personality that anyone could get along with. Not a surly bish with a constant scowl on her face (how do you dudes date these miserable women?) She didn’t have much of a career going on, she was mostly being supported by her parents, and “figuring out” what she wanted to do. I wouldn’t say she was lazy, but I would say she didn’t have a defined direction or goal, just kind of going with the flow (or waiting for her sugar daddy to show up).

Anyway, my dumbass was thinking about proposing in the next year or so. Even though the relationship was deteriorating, I was completely oblivious. The sex was dwindling down, she was often annoyed by me, she’d do more things with her girlfriends, etc. But I wasn’t really worried, I figured she was just being moody. All of a sudden she dumps me out of the blue. “It’s not working. We’re not compatible. We’ve grown apart.” I was confused AF. I said ok, but figured she’d come back after she cooled off.

In the next few weeks I found out the REAL reason. This portly motherfucker, with a lot of $$$, and a fancy family name. I have no idea where they could have met. The dude is 45, and looks like he could be her father, he wears glasses, and seems like a damn nerd. I thought it was a joke at first. No way could my hot solid 9 girl touch this creature. Like, I didn’t think money could win over sexual revulsion. I was WRONG!!

6 months later, they’re engaged. I embarrassingly lost my shit at that point and reached out to her via text berating her and her scam of a relationship. Basically calling her a gold-digging hoe. She wrote a condescending reply about how she’d like to end things between us on a good note, and then asked me not to message her again. Why? Bkz she probably doesn’t want him to see, so I kept texting (dumb and desperate AF, I know now). She ignored and ignored, then I get a CALL from fat boy! I HATED the sound of his Ivy League School beta voice, I legit got so worked up. He sounded like a damn stick in the mud ambassador or some shit, I don’t know how he doesn’t bore her to tears, but basically he requested that I stop texting his fiancé, and move on from the situation with grace. Was condescending AF. Anyway, being told off by fat boy was a very low point for me. They went on to get married at Martha's Vineyard… Instagram pictures looked like she was marrying her dad.

I was beaten down and broken AF. Then I found this forum, and realized EVERYTHING I’ve been doing wrong. Working on myself now. Just wanted to give a solid thanks to everyone on here doing the work they’re doing, and helping dudes like me. Without resources like this, many of us would be suicidal and completely confused as to how we're screwing up with women.

Anyways, my question is, what's a good time to wait before getting into another LTR? I don't think I'm anywhere near ready and still have much work to do. But just curious on what you guys think.

[–]petallotus 119 points120 points  (12 children)

At least you’re saved.

[–]21bulldog[S] 13 points14 points  (10 children)

Amen to that

[–]FuckRightOfff 30 points31 points  (5 children)

She wasn't yours, it was just your turn. Literally the best piece of advice i've ever fucking read.

[–]21bulldog[S] 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Was a sweet turn while it lasted.

[–]guifawkes 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Make your next turn with someone new even sweeter. You’re getting better at understanding and leading women as well now.

I know she feels significant but you were wrong the entire time about her, you can’t take it personal if it should’ve failed no matter what under these circumstances. That’s as close to death as you want to get! Be grateful you got away with your life.

[–]21bulldog[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Thanks man, you're totally right on all accounts.

I know she feels significant

She does, but I'm trying to re-adjust my thinking and move on. Do some self work and introspection.

Be grateful you got away with your life.

Grateful AF

[–]guifawkes 2 points3 points  (1 child)

She was for a small time but will be remembered as fairly insignificant when you examine your life. I doubt you really have much to show for the time she was in your life if you’re honest. Fond memories and emotions no doubt, but real value would still be able to be measured now if were ever there at all.

Gets better bro. Wake up and get going, it’s a new day for you tomorrow and the sting will be less than it was today. And the following will hurt less than tomorrow and so on...

Hell, if it takes your mind off it, plant some potatoes spuds/seeds in some dirt and put it on your window. Then measure your bicep growth vs vegetation growth to see if you’re being outgrown by a potato! Lol.

[–]21bulldog[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks man, appreciate it.

plant some potatoes spuds/seeds in some dirt and put it on your window. Then measure your bicep growth vs vegetation growth to see if you’re being outgrown by a potato! Lol.

Hell yeah, great idea haha. Will keep me busy.

[–]TravelingShitLord 12 points13 points  (3 children)

We all fall and get burned.

[–]21bulldog[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I'm embracing the burn, and trying to rise from the ashes now. Thankful for TRP.

[–]babybopp 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Good you realize

one, don't put pussy on a pedestal.

two, your turn is over, move on.

3,branch swinging is real.

Lift, delete her number, ghost 100%, don't get into another ltr for a while and get your dick sucked by a bunch of girls before you even think you are ready to start another ltr

[–]21bulldog[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Noted. Thanks bro

[–]brinkleybuzz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. Look on the bright side. You got the pussy and he gets the problems.

[–]1atticusfinch1973 53 points54 points  (6 children)

They both actually taught you a very valuable lesson. Which is that value is perceived by women differently than men.

He sees her value as she's young and hot and likely gives him sex he couldn't dream about without paying for it (at least until she divorces him and takes 1/2 his money). She sees his value as a provider of a lifestyle she couldn't possibly get without using her looks and body to get it.

So he's trading money for her looks and pussy. It's how a lot of relationships work today. Don't stress about it and move on to the next woman who you don't have to pay to fuck like he does.

[–]Narcissist456 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Dudes like fat boy should just fuck escorts lol. I don’t know why these beta walking wallets pay to fuck the SAME girl over and over again via a staged relationship.

OP give it 5-6 years and she’ll be divorcing and taking him to the cleaners lol.

[–]21bulldog[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I don’t know why these beta walking wallets pay to fuck the SAME girl over and over again via a staged relationship.

She was a really good fuck, and banging all natural body. Fat boy probably jizzes from just seeing her naked TBH.

OP give it 5-6 years and she’ll be divorcing and taking him to the cleaners lol.

I won't be waiting for that, but I wouldn't be upset if it happened either.

[–]hb8only 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was a really good fuck, and banging all natural body. Fat boy probably jizzes from just seeing her naked TBH.

but her fucking him is WAY different as she was fucking with you.. it is not worth it for that fat guy, the sex must be really unpleasant...

[–]21bulldog[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Thanks man.

He sees her value as she's young and hot and likely gives him sex he couldn't dream about without paying for it (at least until she divorces him and takes 1/2 his money).

You'd think a smart 45-year-old would know better than to marry her after 6 months. Probably has an airtight prenup, but still blows my mind.

[–]Narcissist456 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He’s an idiot bro. Trust me, divorce rape is coming. Courts can throw out prenups for any number of reasons.

[–]beginner_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. The fat rich guy is just the provider. She will pop out 1-2 kids (probably not his) and then divorce him and take half his stash and live "happily ever after". Well she will have money but she won't be happy.

[–]StrongAffordance 31 points32 points  (6 children)

Don’t “get into” an LTR. That should never be your goal. You should be vetting women for commitment, not offering it.

[–]21bulldog[S] 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Right on.

[–]StrongAffordance 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Welcome to the real world though, without the veil.

[–]21bulldog[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Thanks man, it's a sobering and harsh awakening; but I prefer it on this side rather than my previous life of ignorance.

[–]StrongAffordance 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Yep. I got out post-divorce, so it could have been worse.

[–]21bulldog[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Could have been much worse, and I've still got many good years ahead of me. Just working on getting over that bitterness now. I don't want to hate women, it's not their fault they are how they are...just tough to accept without getting cynical.

[–]cyanidez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good mindset to have man. See my other main reply.

And for a time now, just let yourself feel what you do. PLEASE don't suppress anything. Write it out and tear into her with journalling or letters (of course, don't send it) or do anything else you can to get it out. Helped me a ton.

Like you said, you don't want to become bitter. So take it slow, let everything process, get mad, get slightly bitter, get depressed, get a little hopeful, get healed, get out the other side. You got this, man.

[–]YasserZe 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Shit happens , she found a better branch , move along , she saved you the trouble of staying with her

[–]21bulldog[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks man. I've mostly moved on, but the bitterness still overtakes my ZEN on some nights. Writing this out was a pretty sweet way of ending the chapter.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 18 points19 points  (4 children)

Better to find this shit out now.

That said, you misplayed on the massive display of butthurt.

Work on improving your SMV and your finances and you will know when you’re ready to get back in the arena.

[–]21bulldog[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I completely agree, thanks man.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Forget the past, remember the lesson.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was thinking same thing. In fact, he likely could have kept hitting that bitch and she would have bought him presents with the fat guys money. Perma plate while he rebuilds his life

In before any jagoffs start with pride and ego....she is going to fuck some other guys for tingles and danger. may as well be OP.

[–]cyanidez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, just remember that still doesn't mean you could have or should have played it differently to maybe get her back. Just learn the lesson from your reaction for the next great gal around the corner.

[–]SoakMyBigCork 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Brother she did you a huge favor. It might not seem like it now but come back to what you wrote in a month or two and read it again. You would have ended up miserable in a marriage with this girl.

[–]21bulldog[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right.
It just hits you like a ton of bricks when you finally wake up to the reality of the world and women. I'm still trying to get my bearing. Thankful for TRP everyday.

[–]SuperCrazy07 13 points14 points  (7 children)

You learned a lesson here. You actually made the same mistake that females do in reverse. You assumed because you're young and have a great body that you can keep a female happy in the same way that MBA accountant, 40 year old female thinks men are dying to get their dick on her diploma.

Girls care about more than young, hot body when it comes to relationships (I'm sure you'd crush this dude on Tinder). It's possible she's a gold digger, but you don't even know that for sure. He might be kicking serious ass in many aspects of life and its super exciting and turns her on.

Just keep improving. You'll be SHOCKED as you get older how younger girls still come around. I was. When I was your age I would have laughed at the idea of this happening (except gold diggers). But, it does. A lot.

[–]21bulldog[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

You're right, a good body only gets you so far as a man.

It's possible she's a gold digger, but you don't even know that for sure.

I only assumed that bkz she used to call me cheap for wanting to split things, and bkz I figured she's with him only because of money. But you're right, maybe fat guy is turning her on somehow. I actually did find out that he's a member of a pretty major University secret society club, so clearly the dude has pull. Either way, I need to stop obsessing over what he's got, and work on my own self though.

[–]Ramesses_ 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Calling her a gold digger for valuing a man's resources is like calling yourself shallow for liking hot girls. Money and resources and willingness to use them are an attraction trigger for women just the way big tits and skinny waists are for men. There's nothing wrong with her for wanting it and leveraging her hot body to get it.

When it boils down to it that is the agreement between the sexes. Women trade sex and or the promise of it for resources and men trade resources or the promise of them for sex. That is an oversimplification of course but ultimately not an untrue statement.

If you want women hanging off you, devoted to you, you don't need to be rich. You don't even need to not be cheap. But it is a genuinely valid strategy that's working all over. Case in point, this rich dude is banging your ex.

When you first discover this shit you can get angry about it for sure, start judging them as wrong. And that's ok as long as you realise that it's just a phase. Accepting reality is only harsh for a little while. Once you get used to it you can recalibrate and start to focus on what you want for yourself and your life. Then you realise how great it is to have this information because you can use it to get what you want.

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Yeah, you are completely right. I appreciate the insight. It just seemed so empty, marrying a guy your dad's age, with no physical attraction simply bkz he has resources. But, this is where I lacked ANY real understanding of women or relationships before. Thank God TPR is clarifying all this shit for me.

Accepting reality is only harsh for a little while.

I'm still at this stage.

[–]Ramesses_ 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Yeah it's all good man, you will be for a while.

There are some flawed premises you've got going still, not necessarily blue pill premises but flawed nonetheless. The most glaring from your post is your consistent focus on this guy's physical appearance and age.

I know it's not what you're used to and not what's discussed in polite society but him being old and fat has nothing repeat nothing to do with how wet she gets. Do you know how many women have daddy fantasies? That shit actually turns them on. Some older guy with power over them, telling them what to do. A million women just creamed their panties at the thought.

Women are not whores as such in the way that you are seeing them (her). The pure marrying for money is rare and it's usually with girls of much lower class than how you described your ex girlfriend. What turns women on is not simply an inversion of what turns men on (i.e. youth and looks). That's what you go for. That's what we (men) almost universally go for. But women's attraction triggers are really, seriously NOT an inversion of men's like that.

There's no question that looks and a good body are still powerful - they're VERY powerful in one night stands and pulling just for sex. But for relationships you'd be surprised how flexible women can be with a guy's physical appearance and still be turned on by him.

So just to go back to the old guy. Do some research on women's fantasies. There's one common theme: he has power over her. Women the world over consistently fantasise about their boss, their teacher, their professor, etc. In almost every fantasy the man is older and often he's not even physically attractive (turns them on even more - he's got that much power that he's taking what he wants from her). It's why non-consent is such a gray topic and 50 Shades of Grey is the woman's porn.

You will get there man. Part of that journey will be recalibrating what is attractive to women and letting go of old notions. You will be amazed at how successful you can be. There are tonnes of guys on here living the dream. You will be too if you stick around.

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Wow. Thanks for dropping this truth on me man, what you're saying makes absolute 100% fucking sense.

None of this shit was adding up before, I kept reverting to "she's a gold digger" because it was easiest to make her the bad guy and him the beta. I think she initially got with me because I'm conventionally attractive, her friends thought I was hot, I'm in sports, etc. But, it was puppy love. And because I didn't know shit about TRP then, I did all the wrong things during the relationship. He's definitely got more power over her than I ever did. That's also the vibe I got from the phone conversation. I mean I'm a grown dude, but I felt like I was in the principle's office when speaking with him.

This is all making sense now. Again, thanks for putting in the time to write that out. #MindBlown

[–]Ramesses_ 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yeah no worries man. It's crazy to think but there are answers out there to even the most puzzling questions. Truth and fact are just generally skewered and obscured by the morons with an agenda who decide in advance what they want to be true then go about trying to prove it. If we didn't have to deal with that everything would be easier. But instead it's finding ways to get around all the powerful people who want to control what we think.

I want to know what's true. I'll decide how the world is and what I believe after I've seen the facts. That's why the red pill is both needed and so controversial. It's not about agendas or opinions. It's about laying out the objective truth whether you like it or not. If the truth offends you, take a good hard look at yourself. (Not talking about you, just in general.)

Anyway, you're spot on. Dude sounds like a boss. He's not killing it physically but he sure as shit knows how to dominate. It sounds insane but the way he treated you - if he's treating girls like that, the motherfucker will be drowning in pussy no matter what he looks like. And trust me, a few years from now you will be too.

Head to the main sub and sort by top of all time and start rolling through. You'll see countless stories of old dudes who are slaying beyond your wildest dreams - and with genuinely hot and horny <25 yr olds. I'm not that old (35) but I haven't fucked a girl older than 26 for five years. I'm not even in great shape but it doesn't mean shit. I have frame and I have social power. Plus pre-selection is the biggest attraction switch there is (other women being attracted to you). There's no easier way to pull a hot girl than for her to see you with another hot girl. And if she sees you with multiple hot girls - forget it, you could look like George Costanza and models will try to sleep with you.

I'm gonna go into some more theory here so read on if you're interested.

In terms of mate selection we really aren't all that different from the other animals. Males fight for dominance, for territory, for resources, females stand back and watch, waiting to fuck the winner. Women try to get the man highest up the chain that their looks will allow. They don't so much vet us and form their own opinion as they do let us sort ourselves. That is why social proof and preselection are such powerful attraction triggers for women.

Women are attracted to and chase men who are both at the top of the dominance hierarchy AND men who display traits that suggest they will be successful in climbing the dominance hierarchy. That is why so many drug dealers and criminals slay. They might not be at the top but they're displaying a lot of characteristics that show they could get to the top (assertiveness, aggression, confidence, strength). Women are hard wired to look for it, they can't control why, all they know is they get turned on and want it when they see it. Exactly the same way we respond to female hotness (symmetrical face, tiny waist, perky boobs, round ass, physically fit, big eyes, long eyelashes, perfect skin, healthy hair, etc). It's not up to us what we find attractive, we're biological machines and that is our programming. You can fight it but you can't beat it. So in the same way men want that, women want those other behavioural traits.

This is a complex issue of course and you don't get the complete picture without a proper understanding of alpha fucks / beta bucks. Nothing is completely black and white. But usually when you see a woman's behaviour going against this it's simply down to her value. For example a man might date a fat girl with none of the desirable qualities we talked about and you could say 'men aren't attracted to/turned on by that or he wouldn't be dating fattie'. No, he's still attracted to and turned on by the aforementioned traits and he's banging/dating the best version of it he can get. Women are the same. They are all turned on by it but often have to settle for men who don't have much of it due to their own lack of desirability. The difference between the sexes is that her desirability is physically programmed - ours is (mostly) behavioural based.

This is where SMV comes into it. Your SMV is money to spend in the sexual marketplace. Hers is almost entirely from her looks. She's born rich and getting poorer by the minute. She has to buy a man before her money runs out. The hotter she is the better the man she can get.

A man's SMV is not fixed. It's fluid depending on how he behaves. If an NBA player becomes a whiny, needy bitch with a particular girl even he won't be able to keep her. Looks and status are part of your SMV but they aren't the whole picture. Without a rock solid frame you can't be a 10. This sub is littered with stories of men whose women quickly turned on them when they began acting weak.

Anyway brosef, keep smashing the sidebar. You will eventually internalise all this and come out a way better man. You're lucky, you've got access to the truth now, the answers are all here. And if you're starting from a place of looks and body dear lord. There is no ceiling for you.

[–]21bulldog[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro, you're the best. Thanks so much for this post. It really uplifted my spirits, and motivated me to want to continue the work I've started on. I'm copy and pasting it into my notes, and will be re-reading that shit on a daily basis for weeks to come.

Head to the main sub and sort by top of all time and start rolling through.

First on my agenda for tomorrow.

That is why so many drug dealers and criminals slay. They might not be at the top but they're displaying a lot of characteristics that show they could get to the top (assertiveness, aggression, confidence, strength).

I've always wondered about this, but it's making a lot of sense now that you put it like that.

Dude sounds like a boss. He's not killing it physically but he sure as shit knows how to dominate. It sounds insane but the way he treated you - if he's treating girls like that, the motherfucker will be drowning in pussy no matter what he looks like.

If I'm being honest with myself, he wiped the floor with me in one conversation. The days after were a very low point for me. But now I'm grateful for that shit. It was a learning moment.

Anyway brosef, keep smashing the sidebar.

You're a true fucking mentor, thanks man.

[–][deleted]  (4 children)


[–]21bulldog[S] 20 points21 points  (3 children)

I know, to be honest like you said it's just my resentment and insecurities speaking...I like to make myself feel better by thinking he's beta. In all reality, he definitely has a lot of financial and social pull. And he clearly knows how to keep his cool, he scolded me like a professor on the phone, meanwhile I lost my marbles. I'm just bitter. Working on it though. Thanks for the reply man.

[–]2gunsgetsome 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I like to make myself feel better by thinking he's beta.

Maybe you shouldn't think about him at all.

[–]21bulldog[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Solid point.

[–]FuckRightOfff 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lmao yeah it's pretty beta calling your ex... But it's even more beta defending your fiance against your ex... Pretty much a draw. I hope I never have to rely on my families name or money to pull women. I tell them I work at an organic farm stand.. hahahaha

[–]attychris 8 points9 points  (3 children)

This portly motherfucker, with a lot of $$$, and a fancy family name. The dude is 45, and looks like he could be her father, he wears glasses, and seems like a damn nerd.

Sidebar, dude.

Alpha – Socially dominant (regardless of weight, looks or age).

So, let's see.

1. Ivy-league
2. Good name
3. Comes from money
4. Confident enough to call you
5. Seemingly sophisticated (from other descriptions you've provided)
6. Gives her security

1. Just starting your career
2. Cheap
3. Insecure
4. No social connections

You've got work to do, man. His weight or age doesn't mean shit, he still outranks you by miles.

[–]21bulldog[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Point taken, man.

[–]michaelmindset 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I don’t see how he’s cheap by wanting to split expenses, fuck a ho trying to spend ALL my money. If you do that, then you’re insecure...SWIM IN ALL THE PUSSY YOU WANT.

[–]attychris 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In general I agree. But this is the woman he was trying to get married to. All I'm saying is from her point of view, what's more attractive: Her ex who made her split Taco Bell outings, or her new dude who doesn't even mention the check when it comes, just pays it like a boss?

She's clearly more high-maintance since OP mentioned she called him cheap.

[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 7 points8 points  (1 child)

A woman who marries for money has to earn every penny.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Totally true.

These women are my wheelhouse. They let their kids sleep in their bed to keep chubbyhubby from making a move. They cringe how these guys dote and follow them around blabbing their feelings and anxieties. One guy said he would kill himself if she left him. For some reason they feel like telling me all these stories and I just nod and make sure I don't criticize the cucks so I dont look jealous

[–]hatefulreason 7 points8 points  (5 children)

don't hate on him, if you're hot you've got plenty bitches. next time you want a ltr go for a 7 not a 9. this way you'll sleep better at night without worrying she'll leave you or cheat on you. brad couldn't keep angelina but hey, at least he gets to cry with a different woman every night

[–]21bulldog[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

next time you want a ltr go for a 7 not a 9

Interesting approach.
Although I did read that in most successful marriages, the wife has to be better looking than the husband. Otherwise there is an imbalance.

[–]hatefulreason 5 points6 points  (3 children)

if what you read so far got you dumped, and getting dumped got you here...your call

[–]21bulldog[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Good point, man. I'm worried I would lose attraction to a 7 longterm, if I thought she was lower on the scale than myself. But, will test it out.

[–]hatefulreason 2 points3 points  (1 child)

read more of the sidebar. you may be a 10 on looks but SMV is not just looks. unless you're a woman, then SMV is mostly looks.

and remember, women marry up, men get divorce raped ;)

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will do brother, thanks.

[–]trancedj[🍰] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Dude, until you can spin multiple plates without catching feelings and reverting to BP behavior, stay away from LTR’s.

LTR’s are only viable once your frame is rock solid. You’ll only end up hurting yourself and others if you jump the gun here. Remember, no shortcuts or cheat codes exist here.

Congrats on seeing your mistakes and growing. Count your lucky fucking stars you didn’t marry the bitch. She’ll be fucking the pool boy before long and take half of fat boys shit. But forgot those dumbasses and focus on improving yourself. And spin some plates man! Have fun with your new awareness and freedom.

[–]21bulldog[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude, until you can spin multiple plates without catching feelings and reverting to BP behavior, stay away from LTR’s.

You're right man, thanks.

[–]Duzand 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't think you "get into" a LTR, it happens when you've been with someone who has earned it.

[–]ThreeEyez 3 points4 points  (2 children)

This is more of a positive than anything. Just keep working on yourself and BLOCK HER ON EVERYTHING. If you could get a 9 like her, who says you can't get another 9 who ACTUALLY has something going for herself besides her looks? She was holding you back bro.

"I do know one thing though, bitches they come, they go" - Eminem

[–]21bulldog[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks brother. I did delete her from Instagram, and deleted her number from my phone. I embarrassed myself enough, I know better now.

[–]ThreeEyez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You got this brother. We’ve all been there, myself included.

[–]dorgan64 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you are lucky . by dumping you she made you to find TRP, at the age 25 it's like finding a gold mine .

It could be worse , imagine being divorce raped ,pay alimony and child support for 2 kids , and live in the car because you can't afford rent , my cousin is living the 'blue pill' dream.

So don't regret that she left you for some dude , it's a fucking blessing when you are 25.

If I was you i will wait 4 months before I start aproaching new girls,meanwhile I will continue learning. LTR for you is not an option since you are new in our comunity .

[–]zboo1h 3 points4 points  (1 child)

"Doctor, I just jumped off a building and my 'chute didn't open, and I broke every bone in my body - when can I go do that again?"

Focus on improving yourself. Women aren't shit.

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, I was just doing some more reading right now. Going into monk mode. Need to work on myself.

[–]Ivabighairy1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This was cringeworthy to read because I've done stuff like this before finding RP. I'm sure most of us here have. Why are you wanting to jump into another relationship? You don't need to. Date around for awhile. Practice some of this stuff until you find out what works for you and enjoy life for a bit.

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was cringeworthy to write out as well. Never want to go back to being that dude.

Why are you wanting to jump into another relationship?

I feel good in a stable relationship with a respectable woman. I don't like dealing with multiple sleazy women and their drama. But, I will date around. Not gonna look to settle anytime soon. Most of all, I will work on myself, and not focus on women.

[–]1walawalawa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anyways, my question is, what's a good time to wait before getting into another LTR?

You're asking the wrong question. The better question is how can I avoid another train-wreck?

We've all been in this position you're now in. Discovering Game helped to get me on the path to abundance.

But of course there were stumbles, beta backsliding, over-gaming, chasing. Just keep focused on learning from every interaction, spin plates, believe in your own mission whatever that may be. The focus is you.

[–]throwinghthisoneaway 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just remember that all her friends and family will likely make this face 😖 every-time they think of their friend/daughters shallow relationship. Sure she gets everything in monetary form but the most valuable thing you have in the world is your relationship with yourself and that is built stronger through having integrity in knowing you’re doing the right thing.

Shes knows shes a gold digging whore. But she also knows shes probably gonna divorce the bastard. Then what does she have? Money? Shes well past hitting the wall at that point. Women lose when they dont have a captain to guide them through life. Women without a captain to give them a job are fucking lost and miserable. You win man. 10/10 times you win in this scenario.

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Anyways, my question is, what's a good time to wait before getting into another LTR?

Keep reading, and you'll figure it out... its all in the sidebar...

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will do brother, thanks.

[–]Tutsi9 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I think you know this happened for the better (for you) in the long run and you're just venting. Venting is cool, we all need to do it sometime. Anyway there's no answer to your question other than it's up to you. There's no set number of weeks/months, you decide what you want from women and when you want it.

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man, appreciate it, I needed a good vent.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–]21bulldog[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks bro. I've been reading the sidebar for the last hour. Powerful shit. Depressing at times, but real.

[–]TheStumblingWolf 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The good thing with low points is - now you know what it smells like so you can avoid it before you sleep walk into it again.

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yep, had to hit that low point to wake me the fuck up. I was completely ignorant before.

[–]TheStumblingWolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Many of us have been here. You're not alone. Things can only get better from here on :)

[–]Martysteiner 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She actually saved you; from a ridiculous life-long commitment.

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good way of looking at it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Should be flared Blue Pill Example on the main forum.

Consider yourself saved, don't rush into an LTR. Spin some plates, figure out what you like and go from there. Everything you need is in the sidebar.

25 is still super young. Hell, 20 years from now you can be pulling sexy HB9s from 25 y/o beta boys.

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will continue educating myself with the sidebar. Thanks man.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are so fucking lucky! Thank god you got away before you got married.

[–]earthmother92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dodged a bullet right there.

[–]bob13bob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

dude, they just saved your life. imagine if you got married to her.

[–]Rares5555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women are a disposable commodity in the hands of powerful men. You should’ve asked the dude how he made it in life (joking, it would’ve been nuts to do that then)

All in all, we’re the young wolves. Sharpen your teeth, bite harder next time.

[–]caucasianinasia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You'll gain value and she'll lose it over time. Keep working on yourself and making yourself more valuable. It will work out in the end. Eventually her revulsion to him will be too much and she'll cheat. Maybe end up divorced with a couple of kids.

I had a hot younger girlfriend. We broke up and I found out after she had a FWB the whole time while we were together. She immediately hooked up and married a pilot. We reconnected on Facebook recently and now she's a single mom with two kids. He just left her out of the blue. I'm fit and successful and not ever getting married again.

I'm about to go to my high school 30 year reunion. Some of the girls that would have nothing to do with me in high school are all old and fat now. Crazy how things swing back the other way.

[–]mismm 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Don't know why you even feel bad. Desire can't be negotiated and she will cheat/divorce rape him, give it a few years. And she showed you her true gold digging (they all are, but some are much worse than others) face before you got too far with her.

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I feel bad bkz I was blindsided and loved her. The way she ditched me so fast and got engaged after 6 months was some cold fucking shit. But, I'm waking up now. Won't be blindsided in the future.

[–]mismm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Drill Briffault's Law into your head. Women are not investments, past efforts won't be rewarded in the future, they will be completely forgotten, so always put in as little effort as you need to keep them around.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should send him a thank you card.

[–]curiousjourney 0 points1 point  (1 child)

fuck her parents

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, for being enablers?

[–]binrobinro 0 points1 point  (2 children)

"what's a good time to wait before getting into another LTR? "

What's that all about, 21bulldog? Seems like you got a good lesson here, but didn't learn anything.

[–]21bulldog[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

After reading more sidebar I decided I will go into monk mode. I'm slowly learning.

[–]binrobinro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes you are! I guess I was wrong.

[–]hb8only 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you LUCKY BASTARD.. you have been fucking her young nice body and when she has approached the wall, some simp will pay for her the highest price...

[–]DiggerClam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wtf is 'my girl'? It was just 'your turn'.

[–]room_303 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of a sudden she dumps me out of the blue

This wasn't really, all of a sudden.

[–]crabbykurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let's see the picture of them lol I'm curious now

[–]FarfromaHero40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Search for "Lying Eyes" by the Eagles. A favorite song of mine. I think you'll understand more, that song was written for your situation.

Chin up, focus on you, and keep taking care of yourself. If a schlub like this guy you describe can marry a 9 at his age and physique, imagine what you'll be able to do.

[–]balajig8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be the ex who fucks her after she divorce rapes him.

[–]cyanidez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You will be ready again when you are happy with your own life again.

I went through 2 breakups last year, all messed up and seriously left me feeling low as well. And since then, I tried dating but realized I'm only using it to fill a void insight. Don't want to be lonely, want affection, want approval etc.

As long as I feel that those feelings are stronger than me being happy and loving myself, I'm not going to date again. Otherwise it's just a Band-Aid over an open wound.

Learn about assertiveness, boundaries, taking care of yourself.

Unfortunately there is no fixed date or time I can give you when you will be ready again, because for me it's going slow but there is progress every day. That's all that matters. It's slow but permanent progress. Embrace the process. Don't just get into an LTR to fill that void! Finally you have the chance to fill it with what it needed all along - a good relationship with yourself, and if you believe in it, a good relationship with your Higher Self / Spirit / God.

This is the REAL path. That man's path. It's tough but dude, nothing will ever be more worth it. So the question is not when you will be ready for a next LTR, the question will be when will you have spent enough time working on yourself so that you don't even care, only to watch the perfect next highly compatible girl float into your life.

Much bro love, keep your chin up man. Good luck.

[–]Kevmill29 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro you dodged a huge bullet there. She left you for another man. Either you put it she is completely wrong and you should be happy that it ended because that woman is foul for that. Thats a big technical and I hope you don’t talk to her when she comes crawling back

This also reminds me of How women choose men

[–]nangin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bitches over 8, they only think about money by providing their pussy. At the end of the day, money is over everything.

[–]hibloodstevia 0 points1 point  (3 children)

You absolutely should not have been chasing her, but if her beta new guy called me like that, I make sure I put into the conversation that she loved my 9 inch cock but always scream for more.

And maybe add that she was sucking my dick the day before. That and that she would give me blow jobs all day long and insist on doing so.

[–]Losingsteamfast 5 points6 points  (1 child)

That sounds like what a frustrated 13 year old would do.

[–]hibloodstevia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I didn't say it was the correct thing to do.

[–]21bulldog[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly was,

  1. Shocked he called me.
  2. Unprepared for the conversation that followed.
  3. Outmatched verbally (he's a smooth talker).
  4. I felt like I was being scolded by my father/professor.
  5. Afterwards I thought of a million things I could have said but didn't....

I've learned A LOT from that one talk. Gotta work on myself.