How do you handle a random stranger woman who is creating a dramatic scene and yelling at you in public? (self.asktrp)

submitted by jodo2990

I was travelling in a crowded train today and I didn't even realise a young woman had come to stand behind me and I accidentally fell on her.

Even after I apologised to her, she was just stuck in a loop that I am a pervert and trying to harass her. She created a big scene out of it and started yelling and abusing me in front of everyone. The crowd too began to side with her even when they didn't know what had actually happened. I just froze amidst all that yelling and chaos when an old man came to my rescue.

The woman escalated the incident so much that the authorities had to get involved and they watched the CCTV footage to resolve the matter. Even when I was proven innocent she was made to walk away with just a suggestion by the officers to be a little tolerant of such things and one of the officer even praised her for being a fighter.

I just want to know how can a man handle situations like this without losing his frame and not getting affected by the chaos.

[–]btrpb 123 points124 points  (0 children)

Very hard to "win" on a situation like this. Just say as little as possible. By defending yourself you are effectively using logic... And we all know how the logic works out...

[–]Random_throwaway_000 62 points63 points  (2 children)

crowded train? So subway? I would get off next stop and keep walking. 100% she can't run as fast ya you. I would NEVER wait around for the police. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/man-falsely-accused-of-sexually-assaulting-actress-feels-like-he-has-undergone-mental-torture-a6867366.html

[–]2comment 10 points11 points  (1 child)

The Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) were found to have deliberately slowed down the footage, which made it appear Mr Pearson had more time to assault the alleged victim.

They really gotta send prosecutors to jail over crap like this, and for the longest sentence the victim would have been on the line for.

Only way to clean this shit up.

[–]Ganaria_Gente 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes Im considering we should all wear body cams

I wonder how much they cost n how stealthy they are.....

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (4 children)

Walk away as soon as you can. Waiting there long enough for police to show up (when you committed no crime) was a mistake.

[–]resnine 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Walking away would just make him look guilty.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

guilty of nothing, you aren't obligated by law to remain somewhere where you committed no crime. In the event they go over the footage to find out who the alleged "criminal" is and see that he did nothing wrong, nothing will come of it.

[–]qwertyuiop111222 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Walking away would just make him look guilty.

To random strangers. Not much to lose there.

[–]returnofthemackX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

so what

[–]TheIcePill 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You just accidentally fell on a feminist. Let her yap and call the police, call an attorney and she'll back off.

[–]Dirty_Socks_Mullins 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Just as loud: "Bitch don't flatter yourself. You couldn't pay me to touch you". Then leave at your earliest oppourtunity.

Or something to that effect.

[–]allyoursmylove 5 points6 points  (2 children)

this is actually the best advice. anyone else saying otherwise has never been in these kinds of situations.

ive had something similar happen, and its certainly common in big metropolitan areas. the train halted for a second so i tripped forward into some lady. same exact thing that happened with the op, except that i used my big bad bronx accent and YELLED at that bitch, she was trying to make me look like a kiddy diddler so i adamantly stated my case and told her to shut the fuck up. i lied that my ma just got stage 4 lung cancer and my best friend died 3 days ago. that shut her up.

had i been silent, i wouldve had guilty written all over my forehead. being "calm and collected" or "stoic" in this situation will put you on a sex offender registry. i wish some of the people here talked outta experience and not theory.

[–]LiveAFTSOV 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I imagine you as a big black guy, and not everyone is a big black guy

[–]allyoursmylove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hah, doesnt matter what race you are, just dont look like whatever youre being accused of.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Letting her talk the whole time has her controlling the frame, especially the people who never witnessed it and just hear the rumors.

[–]thefisherman1961 27 points28 points  (4 children)

Obviously always hold frame, always maintain your innocence, and always stay calm unless things physically escalate. Remaining silent makes you look guilty.

[–]JTCX 5 points6 points  (2 children)

*Remain calm especially if things physically escalate.

[–]thefisherman1961 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So if someone starts hitting you you’re just supposed to sit there and take it?

[–]JTCX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. Losing your cool when things get physical is a sure way to get KO’d or for things to get out of hand.

A martial artist should be trained to think clear and not panic when shit hits the fan.

[–]Ganaria_Gente 0 points1 point  (0 children)


Just as you don't talk to the police, I also do not recommend you talk to these supremacists.

[–]abudun79 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Look up up and down, say "Sorry Madame, but I have standards". Turn around and pretend nothing happened. If she does not stop, be calm while you get the authorities before she does.

[–]Hethinksnihilism 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Another hilarious one would be turn on sass mode How about no umkay? snap lips im gay okay ughhh roll eyes And then hit her with "I dont appreciate the fact that you're making me a monster while im a marginalized trans non binary homosexual guyyyyy" You want to put the icing on top? Start crying with hella feminine hand gestures

[–]kaazsssz 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We don’t battle with fists. We battle with perceived social disadvantages!

[–]TravelingShitLord 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lol. Play the game of the Western world in big cities.

[–]blister333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is what I would say. Or a simple “you wish”

[–]htowntrav 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah if cctv shows her physically assaulting you while also proving you committed no crime I would think to press charges on her. Just saying

[–]stylesm11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Never act like you're in the wrong cause you aren't, but there are many white knights you'll almost never win a crowd over

[–]liberty1127 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just stare at her in the eyes intensely and dont say anything

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where did this happen so I know where to avoid?

[–]Wrath_of_Trump 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't react. The more animated and ridiculous they are, the more sane you look.

[–]redpilledcuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Whoa, relax. I only fell on you by accident. Lost my balance." Then if they continue look at them like they're crazy. "Are you done now?" She's just a child. You're the world's daddy, keeping things in order.

[–]2niczar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Be stoic, make sure you look like the reasonable person and she like the fool she is, and don't over apologize which always risks being taken for an admission of guilt.

[–]OptiLaSeR 3 points4 points  (3 children)

First of all, can you share where did this incident took place.

There's a lot of factors here. Don't tell me this is India.

[–]burrrahhh 22 points23 points  (2 children)

If it were India OP would've been killed by the mob. Fucking white knight Indians.

[–]ContreversialViews22 4 points5 points  (0 children)



[–]OptiLaSeR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The average Indian is uneducated and a sheep in regards to social interaction. And yes, Indians are the most white knight people you can encounter because of the very same reason.

[–]cobalt1728 1 point2 points  (0 children)

....Walk the fuck away? I don't understand what other options you have, unless you want to be attacked by white knights

[–]inexorable_stratagem 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Never talk to the police. Remember that.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]inexorable_stratagem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    They have more power than you. And you dont know the law.

    For instance. I threw a house party once. 300 people came and the music was LOUD. Someone reported to the police days later and we were called to go talk to them. We did, we said it was just a one time thing and never would cause problems anymore. Thry didnt give a fuck. Law says you cant make loud noise, so you are guilty if you did. After that we had to go to the court! Pretty stupid, considering nothing would have happened if we said "A need a lawyer." And never talked to the police directly as we did.

    [–]oristar223 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    She's the one assaulting you. If you apologized and she kept yelling. She's irrational. Don't say anything more and just move away from her. If she gets physical and/or tries to involve a third party: call her out. Calmly. In one sentence. Once. If she keeps going, walk away asap. The calmer you are, the better you will walk away from it. Oh and it goes without saying if she pursues you and/or tries to corner you; call the police and report her.

    [–]room_303 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The lesson is - "Pussy overrules dick every time"

    [–]SpecialistParticular 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Get out of there. I've had a couple of women flip out like that in public and I just walked off. It's like they had a seizure of insanity and just kept getting louder and louder.

    [–]SAPPHIREAURA -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    If a woman attacks you never push her off I made that mistake and had a similar incident in a club once just bear hug her worst case or run honestly