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Never underestimate the power of walking away/radio silence. It works wonders when a girl is behaving how you don't like. (self.asktrp)

submitted by Eppur_Si_Muove_

I've been seeing a girl for about a month now. We both knew each other for some time through a mutual friend. We study at the same school (both nursing students) and work at the same hospital.

The sex has been incredible and we've been having a good time so far. But in the past week I've been experiencing an increase in subtle shit tests. I decided to nip them in the bud before they got out of control.

We were working together this weekend at the hospital doing an overnight shift. She was cranky, being bitchy, and I wanted none of it. I go to work to do a good job and I don't want to hear that shit when I am trying to take care of people.

After several remarks to me that I did not like I told her I was putting her in "time out." If she was going to talk and act like a child she was going to be treated as such.

The look on her face was priceless - she was in shock that a guy would do this to her. I went radio silent for the remainder of the shift and went about my work with my patients. She texted me multiple times, initially saying how I was being "butthurt" and mean. I refused to respond.

Later on in the shift when she was on break she texted me again, ignoring everything she said previously. The text read "come downstairs to the breakroom and sleeeeeepzzzz with me."

I knew I was in there - shit test averted.

I didn't go on break with her because I was busy. We got breakfast after our shift ended, went home, showered, and then fucked like rabbits the rest of the day.

Later on she mentioned that she "had never been put in time out by a guy before." She wasn't angry about it anymore; in fact, she was intrigued and even turned on by the fact that someone, anyone, stood up to her when she knew full well she was acting out.

Be the man that stands up to this kind of behavior. It not only makes your life better but it actually turns women on!

TL;DR: If she is in bitch mode and won't stop acting like a petulant child, treat her like one. Put her in time out and watch what happens.


[–]RedDeadlift 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Putting her on time out. I like that. This also highlights how not to overthink shit tests. Just don't put up with it. Solid.

[–]Eppur_Si_Muove_[S] 19 points20 points  (2 children)

It's also important to note that we are at a very early stage in our relationship. I want to cut this shit out now.

If you apply this method to a LTR where you have been dealing with this bullshit for months or years she is not going to take to it kindly. Be prepared.

[–]RedDeadlift 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Excellent point. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

[–]recursoinominado 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point, made the mistake with my ex and fucked the relashionship because i didn't know about TRP until 2 years in the LTR. With an LTR of months or years you'll need to be way more careful to not sound too harsh.

[–]abcd_z 7 points8 points  (7 children)

I use a longer-term variant of this called a Soft Next. Any time a woman shit tests me, I ask her to drop it or leave. If she doesn't drop it, she leaves. Then I go non-contact for a week and focus on my own personal goals and fucking other women. After a week has passed, then I can contact her again like nothing has happened.

Unlike what you might think, they never give me shit when I contact them again; they're generally too happy that I contacted them again.

Because of this, I enjoy multiple long-term relationships with all the sex and affection I want and absolutely zero drama.

[–]needless_pickup_line 8 points9 points  (4 children)

In my experience it doesn't work if you initiate contact. You have to wait for the girl to hit you up first.

[–]abcd_z 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Well that's interesting. I wonder what causes the difference in our experiences. Do you Soft Next her immediately after the Shit Test (no discussion, no debate, no arguing), and do you maintain complete radio silence for the entire week?

[–]needless_pickup_line 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Generally I don't have experience initiating a soft next in person because when I'm physically present I can successfully defuse the situation/put her in place to the point where it's not warranted. However girls get a lot braver behind a screen, and likewise my game isn't as strong, so my main experience is soft nexting via text or messaging.

So usually what happens is that the girl gets pissy for any number of reasons. I said something "offensive", I didn't do some bullshit she wanted, or she's just shit testing me in general.

First step is try and diffuse the situation using amused mastery, pressure flip, A&A, etc. If that doesn't work and she pushes the issue, or is just being extra annoying, then I initiate the soft next.

No ultimatums, no informing her of what I'm doing, I just stop responding and go no contact. That means I don't reply to her texts, I don't answer her calls. On FB I don't even look at her messages so she doesn't get the read receipts. Likewise I don't open her snapchats/my story/IG/whatever.

Some girls will immediately realize they fucked up and will pull out all the stops to apologize and be cute and reel you back in. Keep up the no contact for a few days or so then you can resume conversation. Don't even acknowledge your absence or that anything happened. Then proceed as normal and enjoy her compliance until she gets antsy again.

However, OTHER girls won't break as easily. Either they're aware of what you're doing, have other males giving them attention and are less invested in yours, or are just stubborn.

In these scenarios you HAVE to maintain no contact until she messages you. Usually within a week or so she'll hit you with a "hey" text and either be super apologetic or act like the last week never happened. Either way you made your point.

If you message them first then you enter their frame and demonstrate that you need them more than they need you. It's basically a game of chicken and if you lose, attraction dies.

In the past I would do no contact for a few days thinking that was enough then contact them. It always backfired. They'd immediately pick up where they left off and demand an apology or continue disrespecting you. And it also sets a poor precedent for future soft nexts because now they know you'll break.

You need to remain strong. The whole point of the soft next is that your basically breaking up with her unless she hits you up first. If she never does then the relationship is over.

[–]abcd_z 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Okay, so we're mostly on the same page here. I mostly deal with in-person Soft Nexts, so talking about this within the context of text messages didn't really occur to me. I can see how for text Soft Nexts you might want to wait for her to contact you.

The only thing I'd suggest you try, if you haven't already, is waiting a full week and then trying to contact her. If I'm wrong I'm wrong, no big deal. But if I'm right, it means you can contact her as soon as you want after the No Contact period.

It might be worth looking into, at any rate.

[–]needless_pickup_line 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh I see so you're talking about a period of no contact after you physically eject her. I can see that working. Especially since you taking her home/making her leave is a punishment and rejection in itself.

The problem with doing that via text is that I'm not in a position to dictate the situation like that, ie I can't 'make' her go anywhere. All I have is a withdrawal of my time, energy, and presence. So for maximum efficacy I have to maintain that absence until she breaks first and messages me, thereby establishing my dominance.

I think the problem many have with the soft next is that they don't realize you're essentially breaking up with the girl. She could potentially just never text you again and you have to be okay with that. In fact with a true abundance if it takes her 2 weeks to text you back you very easily could be shacked up with another girl by then.

[–]Thizzlebot 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's not a soft next if you initiate contact again lol

[–]abcd_z 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to argue definitions with you, because that never goes anywhere. Regardless of what you call it, this is what I do and it works.

[–]philxd395 6 points7 points  (6 children)

I'm going to be in a nursing program soon after I finish a few more courses. How is it like for males in that environment?

[–]Eppur_Si_Muove_[S] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

It's pretty great for a multitude of reasons.

  • Guys don't get caught up in the gossipy bullshit that other female nurses do.
  • Female nurses are inherently wary/afraid of a male nurse in the workplace so they won't bully you as much. They'll pick another weaker target. Bullying is very common on many nursing units.
  • You are valued for your physical strength and willingness to work. I can't tell you how many of the nurses I work with are obese, slovenly, slow, and just don't give a shit. You will be asked to do more and as a result you will have more experience, more contacts, and a better rapport with your superiors.
  • The pay is great and you'll always have a job.
  • In your nursing classes you'll probably be the only guy so you can literally have your pick of dating any girl (how I met the girl I am seeing now).

More male nurses end up in ER/Trauma/ICU and other intense fields for many reasons (better pay, we are drawn to the adrenaline rush, we are good critical thinkers, etc.) This is one of the biggest reasons why male nurses as a whole make more many than a female nurse - they are willing to take on positions that are more high risk and difficult than a run of the mill floor nurse.

We need more guys in the nursing field. Make sure you get your BSN as soon as possible because most hospitals require it now. Also look into becoming a CRNA. If you can make the grade and crack one of those programs you'll be set financially for life.

[–]Boovs4life 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I would do this but sadly i have a weak stomach. The sight of any bodily fluid from anyone that isn't me makes me wanna puke.

[–]Esminia 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Isn't this feeling easily overcame after some training or real life experience ?

[–]Eppur_Si_Muove_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not necessarily. It's not for everyone.

I got in to work today and within 5 minutes of being there I was elbows deep in shit (literally) with a patient that the previous shift didn't clean (guess they just wanted to save it for me to do).

I'm immune to the smells now but it took a little time. But I know plenty of people that just simply can't deal with the sight/smell of piss/shit/vomit/wounds/etc.

[–]M3_Drifter 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Where I'm from, nurse students are 95% women. So if you work out and have decent game, you are gonna have a good time. Not to mention that medical staff in general apparently fuck like rabbits.

[–]drallcom3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They have no other option, because their hours suck for meeting people or even a normal relationship.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]Eppur_Si_Muove_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I discovered the red pill over 2 years ago after I broke up with a LTR.

I've been internalizing the information since then but now I finally have an opportunity to apply it.

I'm going to be honest I was a little unsure about doing the whole time out thing but from what I have read on here and the main TRP page it was very effective so I stuck with it.

Just don't ever break your frame or she will pounce on the opportunity.

[–]absentrider 1 point2 points  (0 children)

nice job bro, but this should be at /theredpill, not on /asktrp.

[–]jfastman 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Don't get your honey where you make your money. Problem solved.

[–]Eppur_Si_Muove_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you right you right. I followed this golden rule for my entire life until now. I plan on leaving my current job in the next month or so and we hardly work the same shift together so I figured it wouldn't matter too much.

But you are absolutely correct.

[–]mistamike 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nicely handled

[–]OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 1 point2 points  (0 children)

+1

[–]Thizzlebot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this to my gf once. I thought it would be against rp to literally announce you are doing it but whatever it works great.