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The "Horse Girl" Theory (self.asktrp)

submitted by A_Crabby_Patty

In my experience, all girls i've been with who have (or ride) horses are certifiably nuts. At this point in my life, if I find out a girl I'm hitting on is into horses, in any capacity, hard next.

What are your thoughts/experiences with horse girls?


[–]salezman12 71 points72 points  (9 children)

Amen brother. Horse people are fuckin crazy. I am in a business where I review peoples credit, and let me tell you something about horse people. They will max out every credit card, spend every dime they have, and starve nearly to death, but their horses are gonna eat and get groomed. It's the damnedest thing I've ever seen, some of these people will end up livin in the barn with the horses because they don't pay their rent/mortgage. HARD HARD HAAAAARD FUCKING NEXT!!

[–]TheRiseAndFall 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Sounds like the guys in the car mod culture. Every penny goes toward dat stanced life.

[–]salezman12 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ha, true story my man, true story.

[–]GreenPiller 5 points6 points  (0 children)

By far the most retarded thing I've seen people do.

[–]David949 3 points4 points  (5 children)

That is so true. We grew up getting day old bread out of the dumpster behind the grocery store but our horses were always feed and shoe'd. Fuck that. Horses are a rich man's hobby

[–]qtpW 1 point2 points  (4 children)

day old bread out of the dumpster behind the grocery store

wat

[–]David949 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Absolutely true. I grew up in the 70's and it was more important to my mom to feed the horses well then her family. We were on food stamps but the horses always got their hay

[–]qtpW 0 points1 point  (2 children)

do you still talk to her after that?

[–]David949 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Of course she is my mother For horse people it's a lifestyle choice. The horse is #1 above other interests. Owning horses is a huge responsibility. It's a very expensive hobby

[–]qtpW 2 points3 points  (0 children)

maybe she could've sold the horse and fed her kids. if I ended up 5'4 with weak bones because my mother would rather feed the horses than me, I would be really fucking pissed

[–]Scrubpuppy 93 points94 points  (8 children)

I grew up around horse girls. The first girl I dated was a horse girl. I still know a bunch and talk in their circles all the time. They have the most money hungry attitudes and potential for mental illness that I have ever seen. You will always, always, always be second to those horses.

[–]FTFSM 31 points32 points  (7 children)

As my brother says, horse girls are just crazy cat girls who will cost you more.....

Dairy girls, though, hell yeah.

[–]11-Eleven-11 10 points11 points  (6 children)

Wtf are dairy girls lmao?

[–]Scrubpuppy 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Girls raised on a dairy farm. Hardworking, reliable, consistent.

[–]redditJ5 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Don't forget to try the milk before buying the cow.

[–]11-Eleven-11 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Must be a southern thing.

[–]Scrubpuppy 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I think generally dairy farms are up north.

[–]FTFSM 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Girls that come from dairy families. Lots around here. Most are pretty good-looking and they've got money.

[–]Kommanderdude 42 points43 points  (0 children)

My cousin owns horses and went to summer horse camp every year as a teenager. She grew up to be a stripper for a period of time and now has 3 kids from 3 different fathers.

Another girl that was a friend of the family was in to horses decided to run away from home at 17 and is now a post wall fatty with like 6 kids with some loser dude that doesn't work and lives in a trailer.

Horse theory checks out imo.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (1 child)

As a person who grew up in a very rural community where horses and 4-H was a big fucking deal, I can attest that even other country guys know girls into horses are extremely odd and that you'd never fill whatever need the horse/s is/are filling.

[–]ag_blank 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there's the horse-sized dick complex as well in here

If she posts a horse picture she's basically broadcasting that she wants that mandingo

Funny, but most horse girls i know are city girls, with a higher than average income from their parents

[–]Docbear64 21 points22 points  (6 children)

http://www.returnofkings.com/16904/avoid-women-with-horses

I also had a friend who grew up on a ranch and was consumed with thoughts of horses. One of the most emotionally damaged and mentally confused creatures I've ever come across on this planet.

[–]TheRiseAndFall 11 points12 points  (2 children)

That is interesting. I've recently heard of a therapy where they use horses to help people with mental issues. Horses are great at reading people.

Strange that the women obsessed with horses are such unstable people today. Horses were once huge in society. Men and horses went hand in hand.

[–]Docbear64 8 points9 points  (0 children)

True but Horses then were valuable tools to living and easing the burdens of life. Now most women who have / want horses desire them out of novelty or obsession .

There's nothing wrong with horses but the kind of women who are mentally and emotionally consumed with them typically live in a fantasy world ( as my friend did) .

[–]ag_blank 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Strange that the women obsessed with horses are such unstable people today. Horses were once huge in society. Men and horses went hand in hand.

This is why i disagree with the link above, it's a shitpost. Horses and devils have nothing to do with each other.

Horse women though, huge complex

[–]RedPharaohRising 3 points4 points  (1 child)

One of the most emotionally damaged and mentally confused creatures I've ever come across on this planet.

That poor horse.

[–]Docbear64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know I should have started a fund to free him and his siblings.

[–]Just_saying_brah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hilarious! The comments on that article have offended women defending their love of horses.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yup. They are all hard CC riders with an insane sense of entitlement, even for a woman.

Source: Sister is a crazy horse lady (as I call them). I fucked a couple of her friends. 169% certified nuts.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (5 children)

They tend to have fantastic asses tho

[–]A_Crabby_Patty[S] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

This is the sad truth

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]CuntyMcFagNuts69 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Horse can run faster than you. She'll find you

    [–]Nodeal_reddit 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Dem thighs though

    [–]Joshthall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Jrh Nbr

    [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    [–]the_red_monk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Hilarious.

    [–]Tommy_407 13 points14 points  (6 children)

    This thread is over the top and off the fucking chain ridiculously hilarious. As someone who was born raised in northeastern New Jersey, and is spending his adult life in Brooklyn and Chicago, it is very rare that I've met bona fide horse girls.

    If I did, it was when I was a 7 years old, and it was the girl from class whose parents took her horseback riding one time and her trapper was then covered in horse photographs.

    The area that I am located in simply does not warrant the open space needed for horses. These stories are entertaining as fuck, and I've seen similar stuff on TRP about girls with daddy issues, girls with tattoos but this really takes the cake. And the OP was being dead serious as well, considering the comments from around the entire forum to back it up.

    The fact alone that the affectation for a certain animal brings out its own breed of crazy is jokingly priceless. And kudos to the men who made this obscure observation and extrapolated it. This should be given reddit gold in my opinion.

    I think here at TRP we should just resign to the fact that all females lacking the presence of a strong male in their lives are crazy and anxious wrecks, solipsistic dark triad bombs waiting to explode.

    TL;DR: AWALT (crazy) and Equine lovers are just letting you know sooner.

    [–]sd4c 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    There were always supposed to be cowboys, "cowgirls" are an innovation of the past century or so. Affection for real life horses (not just tv/movies) is a masculine trait, caring for them and riding them is, too- because it can be physically challenging and we all know men are the masters of three-dimensional space.

    Any strongly developed masculine trait is a red flag: promiscuity, tattoos, piercings, smoking, being more excited about your career than your kids, playing football, wrestling, training MMA/jiujitsu, woodworking, fixing motorcycles. A woman's greatest asset is her body (eggs) and anything that imperils those eggs is, in nature, avoided.

    Women who eagerly imperil their eggs are masculinized, likely because of a father who was not around, weak, or browbeaten by a virago. This results in a vacuum of masculinity, an imbalance in the home of too much estrogen, so nature rights things as best she can by dyk1ng up the pack.

    TL; DR- Horse tendering is man's work and women who do man stuff are looney

    [–]Tommy_407 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Excellent post

    [–]askmrcia 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Honestly man I think people are just having fun with this topic. I could be wrong, but I'm sure the things that people are saying about horse girls can be said about girls that like apples, C# programming languages, cups, batman movies, or anything you can think of.

    "Oh yea girls that like Batman movies especially nolan movies are crazy as hell. Always thinking they can bang batman so any guy that looks like batman will have a chance. She'll always put her batman films first to fill in a void"

    Yea man I think people are just having fun with this topic.

    [–]O_Son 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    So what you're saying is that you don't have real world experience with women that love horses but that all of the guys in here are ridiculous in their personal experience with these women? I was born in a fairly large city on the East Coast and recently moved to the heart of horse country, OP's observation about these women seems to be true from my experience as well.

    It's a generalization of course but there's a difference between a woman that loves horses and one that loves cats or dogs, riding and taking care of horses is a fulltime job that's very expensive and dangerous. Probably more dangerous than riding a motorcycle, do you know many women that ride motorcycles? I don't, but the men that I know that ride motorcycles crave excitement and are willing to risk their lives for it- it's a lifestyle that attracts a particular kind of person more often than not. Riding horses is the same thing except horses are living creatures that require food and maintenance and medical care and like dogs they have their own personalities.

    I've known two horse women on a very personal level and they were both crazy, one of them is the craziest young person I've ever met. They both had issues with their fathers, the crazier one's father is a drug addict who left the family fairly early and would come back on occasion, I think horses were the one stable thing in her life growing up. I think horse women usually had a relationship somewhat like this with their father and/or the only real excitement that they had growing up was riding horses.

    [–]Tommy_407 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You wrote a good bit and a rather competent response however you failed to realize I was laughing at the insanity of the targeted group of females, I was not attacking the posters or questioning the validity of the thread.

    I was serious when I said it should be given gold for entertainment

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm laughing too. Never met a horse girl. didn't even know that was a "type"

    [–]Carbone 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    1 horse = 10 cats

    [–]Willow-girl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I used to have 7 horses. That's a lot of cats!

    [–]LockedOnTheRedPill 11 points12 points  (10 children)

    Holy shit. I got back into contact with a girl from 4 years ago who was a horse girl. Was gonna plate her until I found out she cheated on her boyfriend with her cousin. She put up a front of decency that I quickly saw through otherwise, great education, and probably LTR material until I found out, but thank god for that red flag. I pity the dude who settles down with her. Because after I found that shit out, her "sanity" went down hill real fast. Batshit crazy and a master manipulator. Closest thing I've experienced to Lucifer's Daughter Rollo talks about.

    Edit: changed perfectly decent to she put up a front of decency.

    [–]Docbear64 18 points19 points  (3 children)

    Perfectly decent girl otherwise

    I don't think we get to throw the " perfectly fine otherwise" stamp onto a cousin fucker. That's beyond AWALT or Tingles....her fucking cousin gave her tingles? you won't be able to trust this girl to go check the mail by herself.

    [–]LockedOnTheRedPill 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    I should rephrase as, "She put up a front of being perfectly fine otherwise." I saw through it almost immediately.

    [–]W_O_M_B_A_T 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    I saw through it almost immediately. eventually.

    Fixed that. Heh heh.

    [–]LockedOnTheRedPill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Let's see, wealthy family, clean social media, presented herself as religious, great education/career prospects, presented herself as family-centric, etc. Quite the facade I'd say, bud. Once that front was punctured, it was much easier to pick everything apart to see she was just a master manipulator. Just more proof you can't rely on any type of appearances to qualify a girl for a LTR. It's nearly a type of pedestalizing.

    [–]Autonomy_Economy 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Fucks her cousin? Next step is fucking the horse. That flag is bleeding profusely.

    [–]LockedOnTheRedPill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    No Shit, bro. Funny what she's going to school for too.

    [–]Scrubpuppy 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    She banged her COUSIN?

    [–]LockedOnTheRedPill 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Oh yeah. She has a really big guilt complex, and she "felt bad withholding it from me." I quickly found out how low her self esteem went. I nexted her almost immediately after she admitted it, but for the sake of science, I listened to her hamster go into full overdrive attempting to DEFEND herself at the time. It'll make one hell of a TRP post one day.

    [–]Scrubpuppy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I live for that day.

    [–]hamstercide 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Are horses to women what anime waifus are to men?

    [–]randarrow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Only to Tina.

    [–]KumonRoguing 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    I can't speak for horse girls, but I have a similar experience with any girl majoring in psychology. They're all insane.

    [–]JorixKienu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I know only one of them, but she's nuts for sure.

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [deleted]

    [–]GraveRaven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I now have you tagged as "Rad Jouster"

    [–]ag_blank 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Also fuck Arabs.

    Best post

    [–]marlybarrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Also fuck Arabs

    Why?

    [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

    If you watch them ride, it absolutely rubs their vag. Also, the animal is very powerful and between their legs (dry humping them in a way), and the male horses have huge dongs. It's no wonder many women, is seems particularly crazy ones, dig this.

    I had one ex that was a horse girl. Crazy and entitled.

    [–]empatheticapathetic 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Haha Jesus what an observation.

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Fucked up but obvious. I watched an ex take lessons on how to jump small objects prettily with a horse. The prescribed form was a rhythmic up and down and forward back motion of the hips that was obviously stimulating. She had a huge smile the whole time.

    [–]SisyphosOnTop[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Can confirm.

    Girl I studied with and with whom I have been friends pre RP, got left by her boyfriend (because she cheated and she somehow managed in her head that it was his fault, lol that hamster), got serious depression, got a horse not to be depressed any more and now the animal helps her to keep it kinda together. She did a branch swing recently from on loser with kid to another loser with kid and told me black on white that she 'exchanged one for the other'.

    [–]empatheticapathetic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    What a hilarious thread.

    [–]hamstercide 8 points9 points  (7 children)

    Girls are always into horses. Wonder why. I bought some horse meat and it shocked my girlfriend, she didn't want to have it in her fridge. To me it's just another ungulate. She'll eat reindeer but not horse.

    [–]kruxofthemimed 4 points5 points  (6 children)

    Selective psycopathic indoctrination

    [–]hamstercide 2 points3 points  (5 children)

    Meaning?

    [–]kruxofthemimed 5 points6 points  (4 children)

    Your girlfriend has been psychopathically indoctrinated to think it is morally acceptable to eat reindeer among other animals, however the indoctrination has been selective and did not include psychopathic tendencies towards horses

    [–]W_O_M_B_A_T 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    it is morally acceptable to eat reindeer

    It's not bad, a bit stringy. Bear meat is better.

    [–]kruxofthemimed 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Do you believe it is morally acceptable to kill humans needlessly? If not-

    Name the difference between humans and reindeer that, if applied to humans instead of reindeer, would make you accept your position in the human context. For example, saying "reindeer are less intelligent" would not be a sufficient answer, because if a human was less intelligent it is still morally unacceptable to kill and eat them needlessly.

    [–]W_O_M_B_A_T 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yes, to eat them.

    Running for your life from Shia Labeouf.
    He's brandishing a knife, it's Shia Labeouf.
    Lurking in the shadows,
    Hollywood superstar Shia Labeouf.
    Living in the woods, Shia Labeouf,
    Killing for sport, Shia Labeouf.
    Eating all the bodies,
    Actual cannibal Shia Labeouf.

    [–]ag_blank 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    psychopathically indoctrinated

    timmy stop making up words

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    deleted What is this?

    [–]sendmepicsofyourbutt[🍰] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Does she call your dad Seabiscuit?

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    deleted What is this?

    [–]GunPostal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Lol!

    [–]David949 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Ya I grew up with horses in the city in Southern California. My mom was a horse girl. That's one of my hard deal breakers is a horse girl. Now if we lived in Texas where we are all cowboys who cares. In the city a horse girl is crazy

    [–]Stink-Finger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    [–]RedPharaohRising 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Know two horse girls, both sane. Maybe I have a very select sample because everyone else disagrees.

    [–]W_O_M_B_A_T 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Dated a horse girl for a month. Didn't take long to discover she had no sense of proportion, ruined credit. After a while the stench of overcompensation and her constant complaining about money was too much.

    Thing that really got me was, she only had a 1/5 acre sized patch of property. It was basically a feed lot. Her two horses spent 99.5% of their lives wading through ankle deep shit, if not rolling around in it. I asked one time about leasing grazing rights from somebody, she got this kind of crazy look and got really defensive.

    [–]8hadi2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    1 horse = 10 cats

    [–]bacheloritis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That pussy is Horse Widowed

    [–]akatsukirp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I just matched with a horse girl/vet tech. I'm going to try this theory out.

    [–]Mild111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    [–]Willow-girl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Friend's son was a farmer with lots of land, etc. Made a comment one time that if he were to invest in a couple of horses, he could probably have pussy on tap! I have no doubt that's true. Just something to think about, guys.

    [–]qtpW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    have sister. rides horses. completely insane. +1

    [–]APSTNDPhy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I view it as a hobby. They show responsibility and commitment. This is assuming the girl actually looks after their horse? Shovelling it's shit out twice a day? Seems like a good thing.

    [–]Coach-Red-Pill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Absolutely. Horse girls are nuts as well as nymphos.

    [–]Trinity3210 -2 points-1 points  (14 children)

    Maybe you are meeting the wrong breed. I know several girls who own horses or ride and are definitely crazy for their horse. Horses are quite a responsibily and their care requires significant committment (both financially and time spent). Some one who makes the commitment to take the responsibility for the care of an animal whose very life and well being depends on that person, well that type of commitment is difficult to find. Just saying that it has not been my experience with horse people. Just really difficult to find someone who keeps their kind of committment.

    [–]A_Crabby_Patty[S] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Most of the commitment of tending to a horse is paid for by daddy. The horse girl ain't doing shit.

    [–]Trinity3210 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Well then maybe the problem is not the horse, since Daddy pays for everything...Maybe he can pay pay for her to get a life....which is no way related to horses...just a thought

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Trinity3210 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Again, maybe you were looking at the wrong breed in the wrong stable. I definitely agree with you about the medical costs for both. Not an inexpensive way of living but we sacrifice for what is our priority. I just saying that I personally know at least three women who aren't nut cases...but then again, they did camp at horse shows....maybe they are? Maybe they are the exceptions to the rule.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]Trinity3210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I guess I'm just trying to say that anyone that makes committments and follows through on their word, should not be considered crazy. Horses require significant committment and there are so many people who might feel that they have to sacrifice (or be labeled as crazy) for a LRT. Some who is truly passionate about something they love, generally will be the same with their partner. It is a strong indication of how they feel about their relationship. Basically, just saying that imho Committment to things that are important does not = the need to be labeled crazy!

        [–]traversecity 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        wow, dunno about this. I've been around a few western horse people in my life, married couples in stable long term relationships, typically the male is AAF. And yes, horses are a lot of work when you keep them on your own ranch.

        Maybe modify this observation a bit, perhaps people who play at being horse people, boarding their horses, not doing the ranch/farm work themselves can be a bit on the kooky side.

        [–]Trinity3210 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I will concede to that...maybe the people I know were the exception to the rule. I wouldn't want to consider all of them the same...

        [–]Docbear64 2 points3 points  (5 children)

        That commitment is to the horse though and any person they eneter a relationship will receive any commitment, attention , or time she has AFTER the horse is taken care of.

        [–]Trinity3210 -1 points0 points  (4 children)

        That changes after the relationship grows...trust takes time to establish between people. Unless you are not looking for a serious relationship, that is.

        [–]Docbear64 0 points1 point  (3 children)

        How can it? You just admitted how massive a time-sink and investment owning a horse is. Unless her partner begins shouldering the burdens and responsibilities of the horse as well the horse HAS to remain a priority.

        So by dating a woman with a horse you either also become invested in the horse or you take a backseat to the horse ... or she neglects the horse which is also awful .

        [–]Trinity3210 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        You're right. You also become invested in what is important to her, your relationship matures to the point where you understand that she is not "choosing" the horse over you because she is honoring her commitment that she made to the horse before your relationship came to be or she makes other arrangements for the horse. No animal should EVER be neglected.

        [–]Docbear64 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Fair enough but I know for me personally that would mean avoiding a woman who owns a horse. For men who don't have issue with the sacrifice that's great but it would be a red flag for me.

        [–]Trinity3210 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Totally agree with you, because you know what it takes to care for a horse so you don't want that committment. If more people knew themselves ( at least identified what is important to them, not what others are looking for) first, it'd be a lot easier. What I am saying is that just because someone follows through on their commitment doesn't mean they are crazy...in fact it shows that they dont just throw their responsibilities to someone else because of a change in their life...hard to find these days.

        [–]TehJimmyy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        I once knew a girl who was into horse riding. Crazy chick

        [–]JorixKienu -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        I don't know anything about "horse girls" but my experience tell me to hard next "dog girls" , "cat girls" and the like.

        So probably is the same kind of nuts, it doesn't matter the beast they are obsessed on.