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First gf dumped me then slept with another guy the next night (self.asktrp)

submitted by MechanizedGamer

I have taken the blue pill for too long. It is time to convert and take the red pill. I have heard of this community for a few years and always thought it was sexist and impractical. But i am done after what has happened to me.

Men are not the cheating gender. I have seen the stats to prove it. Now i am living it first hand. My first kiss, first gf, the girl i lost my virginity to, has left me last thursday night. Friday night she was getting fucked and bragged about it on her tumblr. I lost it and took xanax after having a serious panic attack. I had to take xanax daily until i started reading the red pill. I have found the only way to never feel the way i feel right now ever again is to swallow the red pill.

She admitted to it. I blocked her on everything. Havent messaged her since. I have been losing it with anxiety. And as of yesterday i creeped her twitter and tumblr. I am getting weak. But TRP is helping me realize that i should never go back to her.

I want to message her. I want to be with her. But i also hate her. I want to fuck her bestfriend. I need advice guys. I am still a blue pill beta and i need a full transformation. I also need help to resist the urge to contact her again. She has texted me a few times since but i have stayed strong. It just sucks. She had another guy lined up for once she disposed of me. Yet she still thinks shes the victim. Should i sleep with her ever again? I would never date her again but my emotions are too into the mix.

Someone guide me i am lost and in pain. I have hardly any knowledge on TRP i just want another girl to get this slut of an Ex out of my head.

UPDATE: 7 HOURS AFTER POSTING THIS, I HIT THE GYM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. YOU GUYS ARE INCREDIBLE!


[–]Ruby_Red_Pill_Maker 256 points257 points  (36 children)

At least she was kind enough to dump you first.

You better quit feeling sorry for yourself and get to the gym to lift weights.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 28 points29 points  (33 children)

very true. Apparently shes cheated on every boyfriend shes ever had. Except me.

[–]Ruby_Red_Pill_Maker 124 points125 points  (31 children)

not true. she cheated on you, but those ones don't count.

[–]11-Eleven-11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey there ya go buddy good job. Way to set yourself apart👍

I joke but it happens. Just hit the gym. Learn abundance. Learn a martial art or guitar or something. Everything is going to turn out great.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very certain that she did not dump him first. Nor was this her first rodeo

[–]oyoungpadawan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"At least she was kind enough to dump you first."

This, I've had one taking a dude home in right in front of me at some party. Instead of breaking up with me she'd rather show me it was over. Next level disrespect.

[–]snowfox167 85 points86 points  (7 children)

This has literally happened to almost every guy. Im not going to lie to you it sucks, but in time things will get better. Go lift. Go get a new hobby. Work on yourself.

[–]resnine 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Yes, and the first one always cuts the deepest wounds too. After that the others are A LOT easier to endure, they still hurt of course but nothing like the first one. That first sting is quite brutal.

[–]snowfox167 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Preach brother

[–]imtheoneimmortal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it happened to me lately but i had and i have my mission

[–]BuckNekkid18 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Heartbreaks and getting dumped? Sure, but I don't think I've had a girl like OP's? Not yet.

[–]askmrcia 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Maybe you were fortunate to not have actual proof that she had a guy as soon as she got rid of you.

But yea I can assure you that this happens to pretty much every guy. Not too many women is going to end the relationship without a backup plan

[–]BuckNekkid18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, my last ex already has a new boyfriend but we broke up like a year ago so I didn't really pay attention to the possibility of her having a backup plan only because I never cared about that.

[–]cuteman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Adding onto this part: you don't need her, you've got you!

[–]RedLegendx 49 points50 points  (32 children)

First off, you need to start lifting if you’re not... and by your username I have a gut feeling you don’t, forget about this revenge thing against her, use all of that energy that you have left and use it to do some self improvement. Time to start building your SMV up, AWALT, yes, she is a cheating bitch but you can’t put the blame 100% on her, somewhere you started fucking up even if you don’t realize it now you might later; now, I’m not justifying her cheating let me remind you.

First thing is getting your ass to a gym, like, yesterday. And please for the love of God, go NO CONTACT ALL the way, you literally died for her the day of the break up, like you never existed. Worry about fucking her best friend later when you’re SMV is higher, it is very possible you can do this.

Edit: Best believe that once months or maybe a year or more pass by and you’ve successfully built up your SMV this cheating ex might show up in your life, then you’re gonna have all the power to do whatever you please, plate her, reject her, whatever you please, but first things first, build yourself up. Good luck, been there done that, it is very possible.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 17 points18 points  (27 children)

i just looked up what SMV is and mine is probably pretty low. I hate exercise. Im a twig. 130 pounds 5'9". I havent done exercise ever. Its gonna be tough but ill try to get my ass to the gym.

[–]RedLegendx 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I was 6’1, 130 lbs in high school... it’s possible. You hate exercise, now you’re gonna love it, wait until you start noticing the gains.

[–]Ruby_Red_Pill_Maker 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This boy needs a heap of the gym and a side of READ THE SIDEBAR!

[–]ComplicatedRick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same stats as you in high school. Made it up to a couple pounds short of 200 which is a record high for me. How much progress have you made?

[–]yungvibegod2 7 points8 points  (12 children)

Start on 5x5 stronglifts, you start SUPER low and build 5 lbs every time you hit the excersizes its great. I suggest going till you notice you have plateaud and then seitching to another program for further gains. But 5x5 is a great starting point.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 3 points4 points  (9 children)

Thanks I don’t really know what I’m doing in terms of fitness. So I appreciate you simplifying it for me.

[–]yungvibegod2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They have an app on the app store that is free and it will keep track of what day your on, what weight you should be doing etc. And they have a youtube channel where you can see the workouts and learn more.

Its called 5x5 Stronglifts on the app store i think the channel name is the same too.

Also: DO NOT BUY THE IN APP PURCHASES THEY ARE BS.

[–]TheShearerComplex 5 points6 points  (7 children)

I don’t mean this to be harsh but she probably cheated on you as you have low SMV. Girls are always testing the waters to see if they can get a better guy.

Gaming nerds are pretty low in the hierarchy.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

100% true.

I didnt realize what SMV was until today. Once i figured out what it was i knew i was low as fuck. It sucks for this to have happened for me to realize that i was being replaced, and that i was being a beta male for months.

Ill just have to step it up with the next one.

[–]TheShearerComplex 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Shit happens in life, it’s inevitable but it’s how you handle it what makes the difference and you seem to handle it well.

It may sound weird now, but you will be thanking this girl for dumping/ cheating on you in 2 years time.

Hit the gym hard, work on your appearance and style, rid yourself of all bad habits and ridiculous distractions, further your career, pursue your passions and in 2 years time you will be banging girls of your dreams. You will look back and think wow bullet dodged, what was I even doing with that girl but thank god she taught me such a powerful lesson.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I get the sense that i will most definitely be thanking her. I already want to thank her! without her doing what she did, i never made this post. And you guys have given me NO CHOICE but to hit the fuckin gym.

Its like every single one of you just preach the gym so hard that you could convince anyone on the planet to go.

[–]resnine 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Also don't just say you are going to hit the gym, actually do it. It's so easy to say we are going to do something in our heads but when it comes time to actually do it we flack. It's important that right now you get a notebook (I prefer physical, it's more serious) and start writing down things you plan to accomplish NEXT WEEK. Plan out your whole week in this physical notebook. Hour by hour. The consensus on here for a workout seems to be about 30 to an hour, doesn't have to be every day. But it's very important that you plan this out so that you do not buckle and dart out of this or find an excuse not to work out. Our default mode is laziness and we must fight this.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

i like this idea. My life needs to be more organized.

[–]resnine 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I literally just started watching the youtube video 5x5, I am also skinny and tall and need some gains.

[–]yungvibegod2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get on that shit dude!! Start ASAP no excuses! 5x5 is really manageable you only have to hit it 3 times a week and the workouts usually are less than an hour.

[–]resnine 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I was there too, it's better you realize this stuff sooner than later. You're SMV is low, and it's not some fairy-tale, it's straight up low and you can NOW work to improve it each and every day. Start lifting, working on your style (clothing and haircuts). Forget about this bitch. What would you waste your time on someone that would do this shit? She has proven to you that she is not worth your time.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

true. She aint worth it. I have never cared about my looks in the past. I even used to say it verbally "i dont care how i look". Idk how to even start getting into style.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Learn about color coordination and study the color wheel. Apply that to your clothes. Focus on getting clothes that fit and aren't baggy. Ultimately the gym time combined with even a well fitted t shirt and jeans with shoes other than sneakers will make you stand out.

Start small and slowly build your wardrobe.

Check out the style and grooming on https://www.artofmanliness.com/

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is something I need work on. Thank you.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone 1 point2 points  (5 children)

If you pursuit bettering yourself at the gym... it will become a new addiction. It's all about the process man, soon you will be dressing better and catching the eyes of other people. Give it time and realize it's never about the end goal but the process of becoming better everyday.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

My main issue at the moment is that the gym has a cap with how much you can work out. Like I can play video games for 12 hours if I wanted. But the gym your body can only go for so long. And as of right now, I’m only going for 30-45 minutes.

With that being said, I am lonely. I am used to waking up next to someone. Going out to eat with her every day. Watching a show every day. It’s not just the company but the routine.

It sucks right now because while I have good people in my life keeping me busy, she is the one I am used to having by my side ya know.

Today will be day two of no longer checking her social.

[–]georgiafisherman 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I know this is a few days old but I think I can help you out a little bit.

Fully engross yourself in the gym. Even when you’re not in the gym, focus on it. You play a lot of video games. Try to stop. Tell yourself that you can only play video games for an hour and a half today at the end of the day after you’ve fucking crushed the rest of your day. After you gave it your all at work, after you kicked ass in the gym, and after you ate a solid dinner and caught up on homework/work related emails/etc.

But before you can play video games that night spend some time researching workouts, routines, the science behind it, nutrition, what meals you should be eating. Research this shit daily. I do and I’m still learning. At this point after you’ve done all this and crushed it in the gym you’ll probably be tired. Just go to bed instead of playing video games.

Onto another thing, you’re going to have to eat a ton to put on some weight. If you can’t cook this is a perfect time to learn. Learn what meals you should be cooking and go do it. You’re going to need to eat well in excess of 3,000 calories a day. Be sure to do this and make sure they’re good calories. Your ex has left you with plenty of spare time to do all this and turn yourself into a fucking beast in the gym and in life. And if you don’t let yourself drown in self pity, you can do it.

You miss the routine with your ex, yeah? Get your own routine with all the stuff I mentioned and maybe another hobby you’ve been wanting to learn. I am so engrossed in my routine that whenever I have a fling with some girl and she tries to take me out of my own routine it sometimes annoys me.

And for the love of God do not talk to your ex because you’re well on your way into transforming your whole life and girls like her will be significantly below you.

Keep me updated if you want. Message me if you want. ’ll hold you accountable in the gym. I’d also be glad to answer any workout questions.

Now go fucking crush life.

Edit: I know I said an hour and a half of video games but you’d be better served with none. I never play video games and my life is much happier because of it

[–]Sylvester_Sterone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gym was the best decision I made back in 2007.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone 1 point2 points  (1 child)

There is a cap with how much strength training you can do. However, there are other things too... cardio like walking/jumping rope/etc. You can also work on mobility.

You definitely have oneitis and it's a mental challenge to overcome. Tackling it will make you stronger.

Ultimately it's just a routine and habit to start. Start a new routine to replace your original routines with that girl. Go to a coffee shop and sit there at the bar while reading something. Overtime you will notice others and their routines.

Hope that helps. Keep busy making yourself better.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I have made a few changes to my life since i made this post. I am still consistently going to the gym and taking care of myself. I am also avoiding contact with her at this time.

You're 100% right about the routine thing and that is what causes most of the post breakup depression. Like i had a routine that i stuck to, and now im doing that same one without her making it difficult.

But tbh my routine is slowly changing and i will try to change it more with your suggestions.

[–]Hydroeletric_ 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Your*

Sorry couldn't resist.

[–]RedLegendx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really dislike typos, so it’s cool lol.

[–]resnine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

you literally died for her the day of the break up, like you never existed

That's a solid line of advice I think a lot of guys need to realize. Once she cheats and ESPECIALLY when she breaks it off, she has dropped ALL real emotional attachment to you like the switch of a light-switch, "on" and "off".It's as simple as that. It has something to do with women's biological nature of being able to assimilate into invading tribes and her mater dying in battle or getting eaten by a tiger. They have that ability built it to branch-swing quite fluidly if need be. Whereas men, we want to protect and provide, it's in our nature to stick around and cling harder.

[–]imtheoneimmortal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

his cheating ex might show up in your life, then you’re gonna have all the power to do whatever you please, plate her, reject her, whatever you please, but first things first, build yourself up

for what i know is always better to don't come back with ex

[–]chachaChad 37 points38 points  (25 children)

  1. Welcome
  2. Sorry that happened to you. It's over. Consider yourself lucky.
  3. Calm down. Really. Seriously. Calm down right now. You're not a child and you're not going to let emotions get the best of you. That's all this is. No one is holding a gun to head. No one is killing your mother. She decided not to let you use her pussy anymore and you're upset she's doing something you don't want her to do. You can't make anyone do anything. Stop trying.
  4. Cut contact. She's proved her worth. No prove yours.
  5. Get to the gym. Start taking care of yourself. Stop gaming. Yes, stop. Today is the last day you game until you have your life sorted out.
  6. Read the side bar and recommended books.
  7. Calm down and I mean it. You're in an emotional state that you put yourself into. It's your choice how you react to her actions. Do not do anything stupid you will regret. You were fine before her and you'll be fine after her. This hurts but it's a part of life and now you're going to get a real education.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 3 points4 points  (23 children)

I have probably one of the most serious video game addictions in the world. I can limit it for ya tho (its been as low as 3 hours a day lately). I have tried /r/stopgaming. therapy. Cold turkey quitting. This topic is a sour one not because its impossible, but because most people arent giving it enough credibility.

In the last year i have lost my virginity, got my first kiss, quit soda addiction, quit 2 year daily marijuana addiction, havent drank, and started reading a lot more. But gaming? Nowhere close to quitting that.

With that being said exercise is going to be close if not equally difficult to conquer.

[–]yungvibegod2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Leave gaming for weekend evenings and limit to 1-2 hours when you do. Fill that new time with working out, reading books, meditation, being out and about, getting out of your comfort zone, and work or other hobbies that will improve you.

[–]Morphs_ 6 points7 points  (7 children)

Excessive gaming is always a way to escape real life issues or to cover up a need that you have. For example, it could be that you actually need/want social contact.

Regarding your ex, sorry to hear that but this is what oneitis really is. Complete dependency on one woman. And it's so strong you're even thinking about being back with her despite her cheating on you.

This is why you want to develop yourself, your body and your game. So you can spin plates and you'll enjoy a better life with less bullshit.

Good luck soldier.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Yea i do look like an asshat it just seems really unlikely that i get laid anytime soon. Now that i got pussy i want more. Hitting the gym for the first time tonight. Hoping to approach a ton of women when college starts back up.

[–]hash_bang22 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'd also add, don't put the pussy on a pedestal. It's good shit, but not that good. It's just some pussy - all women have them.

[–]resnine 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am going to be real with you, you aren't gonna get laid for awhile. It's unlikely. I don't know you personally of course, but just judging from your stats and your emotional state it won't be happening. Best thing is to go monk mode. Look into TRP monk mode, it will help you.

[–]PlzBuffBeamu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Forget pussy. Work in building yourself mentally and physically pussy will come eventually. Gym is a must my dude it’ll make you look and feel better. When this happened to me I didn’t get any for like 6 months, now that I got my shit together getting pussy is easy mode.

[–]Morphs_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me tinder worked great, but you need good pics and a witty profile text.

Keep working. Especially the beginning (first plate) may take some effort.

[–]resnine 1 point2 points  (1 child)

same with compulsive masturbation, they are two birds of the same feather. Constant stimuli and dopamine maxing.

[–]Morphs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah true, I've fallen for both in the past.

[–]Zahlix 4 points5 points  (3 children)

3 hours a day... imagine hitting the gym for 1.5 hours every day, then learning to play an instrument for 1 hour a day and spend the last 30 minutes cooking nutritious food every single day. After 1 year you will look amazing, will be able to take care of your own food and play an instrument.

3 hours of gaming will get you what?

I am telling you this because I've been in your shoes. I've played for a top 10 world of warcraft raid guild back during lich king.

My advice:

  • Sell your fucking gaming PC and consoles on craigslist
  • Get a damn laptop that won't even play games (typing this on a thinkpad t450s) so you can still write resumes or check your mails
  • You'll get bored and that boredom will drive you towards doing shit (exercise, reading, learning, social events)

Take that addiction seriously! I am currently battling porn addiction - which is equally bad.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Definitely possible. Depending on the results the other advice in this thread get me, I will see about cutting gaming out completely once the pain has yielded. Wonderful suggestions

[–]Zahlix 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Trust me, gaming is horrible. The game companies employ an army of doctorate psychologists that work day and night figuring out how to rape your brains dopamine center into submission. They bait you with shiny medals and false sense of accomplishment. Like a carrot on a stick they add more and more content so you can never leave.

I literally wrote "the guide" about how to play a paladin on elitistjerks.com back them. I felt like people were looking up to me because I was so damn good at playing my class. It's been 10 years since then and I regret ever wasting so much time on a fucking game instead of investing that in my life.

You see those losers in front of slot machines? How are they any different from us?

If you only had to follow two pieces of advice out of all the great feedback you got from your post:

  • Lift
  • Stop playing games

Everything else you can do later, these two should be your top concern.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

okay. I find that after this relationship, gaming is more boring than ever. Maybe i will hit a low point and just stop playing altogether

[–]dons90 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It may take a while to break the addiction, but it will ultimately be a good thing for you. The best thing in any good habit is consistency. So go to the gym consistently, eat well consistently, read consistently, etc.

[–]resnine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a few awesome habit APPS out there that the OP should look into. Gaming/Fapping/Eating junk food. Helps a lot.

[–]resnine 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I would also recommend you get on /r/NoFap. Before TRP I was there and it changed my life. You'd be amazed at how abstaining from masturbating or PMO can truly change your entire life. I say this because I recall once I broke up with my first gf, it hurt so bad and I immediately starting fapping 3-4/day and it was unhealthy as fuck. It tanks your SMV. It's mostly porn which is messing with you, but semen retention has proven benefits and has been practiced for thousands of years. If I were you I would stop the games and stop the fapping, cold-turkey, point-blank. Now.... look at all the time and energy you have just freed up! Get to the gym and work on meeting new people, physical strength and social-skills will improve your life a billion times more than fapping and gaming ever will.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The original reason i got this girl was from 15 days of nofap, which was my second longest streak at the time. NoFap really carries the team even when youre a blue pill beta. Nofap is enough to get you pussy (i am living proof).

[–]resnine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Keep at it. Get a new streak going and just build it up, get to the 90+ mark and then go a whole year. Go full RP Monk mode, it's different from NoFap's monk mode.

[–]EscapedTheMatrix 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Sell your console. It might seem hard but if you’re serious then just fucking do it.

Video games are just a simulator for real life accomplishments. Fucking STOP.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Working on it. TRP might help

[–]EscapedTheMatrix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My point is that you are lucky because selling your console is not something you need to “work on”. It is not a process. It is one and done. Make the decision and get rid of th damn thing. Be a man.

[–]LethalShade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Realize it's not gaming you're addicted to but the emotions you get from gaming. Do you play online competitive games(i.e. LoL, Dota, CS:GO, Overwatch,etc) ? Those game not only provide you with socialization but that competitive drive that men seek.

I was addicted to LoL for about 5 years and even was challenger at some point. Was much easier to quit when I reached the top and my competitive need wasn't fulfilled anymore. Realize that you can fulfil these things elsewhere and gaming is just a paradoxically very convenient but also incredibly inconvenient medium to do it through.

[–]Zahlix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't stress not playing video games enough.

[–]Carcrash1985 22 points23 points  (1 child)

You are lucky that you have found this sub after it happening once , many of us find it after the 3rd or 5th time. You’ll be fine , read the side bar , implement it , and learn from this , I guarantee you she does not feel an ounce of remorse.

[–]priapula 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. A lot of us have gone through the same thing. Its just a matter if you are going to own your shit and make your life better, or youre gonna continue being a lazy and depressed fuck

[–]awakenedspirit1 17 points18 points  (2 children)

So sorry my man. Awful shit. No contact is super difficult - but definitely the best move. It's going to be tough - but stay strong. You're emotionally invested still so you're not looking at her objectively yet. It's easier for them to move on. Just the way the video game of life is designed. You will get through this. Lifting is the best thing you can do. 5x5 as heavy as you can. Eat enough food including brown rice. You're gonna make it my man.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

You guys in this sub are awesome!

I always thought that women were the empathetic gender but holy fuck you guys are putting smiles on my face when ive been nonstop broken for days.

[–]resnine 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Men are the romantics and women are the realists. I know it doesn't appear this way with the way women are presented in movies (especially Disney), but you'll begin to see this more and more once the veil is removed.

[–]RPAlternate42 12 points13 points  (3 children)

In other news, the earth revolves around the sun.

Did you think she was going to be all heartbroken about it... about dumping you.

Life isn't the movies or TV: women don't get sad and withdrawn after they breakup with their BFs... they might do so after they are broken up with, but never as the person dumping.

In fact, if you read the sidebar materials, you'd know that women always have new dick lined up.

You are not special, she is not a unicorn, and if she was, she'd still find a way to get fucked by Chad after branch swinging from you.

She's not yours, it's just your turn. And, well, now it isn't.

Stop having panic attacks over some broad who I guarantee you hasn't given you a second thought.

Panic attacks... over a woman. WTF? And your response to all this was to act like a woman by taking Xanax. Instead of reconciling your emotions, like man, and doing something productive, like a man, you decided to take the easy way out and dull your emotions with tic tac bitch pills.

Own your misfortune and transform it into something productive you little bitch.

[–]resnine 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Life isn't the movies or TV: women don't get sad and withdrawn after they breakup with their BFs...

That's a red-pill reality a lot of guys find hard to swallow. Because a female cannot love a man the way a man loves a female. They experience love totally differently, and it's why men hurt WAY WORSE than a female does a break-up happens. For a female it's like they eat a tub of ice-cream, get their gf's to support them "Oh he's a loser, you can do better gurl!", then it's off to the clubs, she gets fucked never thinks of you again. That's RP reality right there. The fall that you experience and that pain she will never feel it like you do.

You are not special, she is not a unicorn

Also solid, the majority of the posts on here are about special snowflakes who think their problems are so special and unique to them. We experience the same shit. Most people are way more alike they are dislike. What you offer her probably 99% of other men can too. And the same goes with her.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love and hate this. I think thats a good thing. Thank you.

[–]Kabuki431 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man i wish someone told me this a year back.

[–]CalvinRichland 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Pain is so good to focus into beast mode lifting. Go to the gym with rage in your heart and dont leave until you are too tired to be angry.

[–]toweringalpha 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Remember, she was never yours. It was just your turn. And now it is someone else's turn. Swallow the pill and it will take some time to digest it but stick around and improve yourself. BTW welcome to the red pill. It might change your life if you practice it.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I appreciate you. I wish i could digest all of this in one day. Way too many articles i dont know where to start.

[–]resnine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look for the condensed PDF. There are two of them and they explain all of what's happening right now.

[–]Endorsed ContributorNightwingTRP 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've said before that the actual equivalents between the genders here are her getting another man vs you getting in the gym. (Due to the ease which women can get sex. She can decide to go out and have sex in pretty much the same way you can decide to go out to the gym and work out.) So, now that you know she's already hit her gym, the question for you now is: how far behind do you plan to be?

Once you've decided that. Head for the sidebar on the main sub. Shut the fuck up and just read. Absorb. (Don't get yourself banned by being an emotional idiot.)

[–]Nergaal 7 points8 points  (2 children)

You have to understand that she very likely got close to that guy way before she dumped you. Being plugged in just made you not realize the signs.

Wanna get back at her? Never look back. Pretty much everybody who has a cheating story here will confirm you that sooner or later she will want to go back to you, especially if she sees high value and that you got over her.

Don't look back. There is only pain there.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks man especially for that last sentence. I definitely missed the signs. But never again.

[–]resnine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just want to re-iterate to you, it ALL revolves around you SMV. That is literally the only thing they respond to see in you. At some point there she must have thought of you as high SMV, probably because you had the balls to talk to her which a lot of guys don't. So she took the chance, got to know you, then she discovered that you weren't high SMV as much as she thought. Then somewhere between your relationship she found another guy and decided to break off this relationship that wasn't working for her. I'd imagine she probably gave you some BS excuse for why she broke it off "I just don't think we have the same goals in life" "I've fallen out of love with you" all non-sense it's your SMV that she was into.

[–]daytonbull90 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Take this as fuel to get in shape, work on yourself, better yourself, and take the world by storm. Put the pills down, and go full monk mode, if feelings start creeping up, hit the gym and use them to get swole as fuck (it's extremely therapeutic). Right now is delicate, having this happen to you and PMO is what creates cuckolds, you do not want to be a cuckold. Good luck, mate.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

NoFap is the main reason i originally worked up the courage to approach this girl that cheated on me. I was on day 15 or some shit seen her sitting on a been alone. Looked at her. Turned around and hesitated. Then the NoFap took over and just approached her for me. Hitting the gym for the first time tonight man. I am gonna really give this a go

[–]daytonbull90 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I challenge you to 3 months of nofap and hitting the gym 4 times a week, results don't truly show until 3 months in, report back in a month with progress pics.

[–]resnine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What would you recommend for a workout routine? Like using the equipment at planet fitness

[–]wobbleelbbow 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She's been cheating on you. That is one thing that is certain. If a woman is such a slut to brag about sex on the internet then it is clear she was fucking dudes behind your back. You dodged the bullet here. Accept it and move on. And by moving on I mean SIDEBAR

[–]XT3M3 5 points6 points  (3 children)

don't give her the satifaction of trying to fuck her again. as other people said, now shes dead and its on you to make sure she stays dead. plus once you fuck her , all your feels will come back and you'll be messed up again.

instead of focusing on her, read the sidebar, lift and start your journey as a new man.

you learned a lesson we all here have learned and or dished, " she aint yours, its just your turn"

[–]resnine 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Absolutely. After a break-up she'll just try to turn him into a beta orbiter or string him a long with the false-hope of getting back with her. Radio-silence the bitch is the absolute best thing this guy can do.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You’re saying everything she posts on social media is just to string me along? Damn that’s low. But makes sense. I might have to go monk mode.

[–]resnine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not everything she posts is for you, around these parts that is what we call male solipsism. Usually the posts are multi-purposeful, some can be used for fodder to make you jealous and other posts are to attract other men, and other times just for shits and gigs from her friends. Usually something along those lines. But I wouldn't put too fine a point on it. Forget the bitch and be done with it. Go monk mode and go into the forgetting stage. Time heals all.

[–]Corvus_Uraneus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Success is the best revenge. Use this anger phase as energy to power through the rough first few weeks at the gym. Exercise also helps a lot with anxiety and depression.

[–]3d_truth 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You are a lucky son of a bitch. This will be the best thing to ever happen to you. This is exactly what you need right now to grow and learn.

Toet over her you need to forgive her. I don't mean to contact her, but make sure you do not harbour any remorse or anger towards her. This will eat you up like poison and make you a bitter man and will keep the wound fresh. Trust me.

She actually sounds like a nice girl because she broke up with you. Be thankful. And start hitting the gym.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea man youre right. she definitely was nice about it. I just need to remove my emotions, hit the gym, and forgive her for her actions.

[–]Kabuki431 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Take a moment, look yourself in mirror. How would u feel if u 180lbs jacked up dude.

Make that ur mission. You will be drowning in pussy.

[–]resnine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once his SMV surpasses her's he won't even be thinking about this girl because MUCH hotter and better girls will be in his life.

[–]heyuguyzbrekfazt 4 points5 points  (8 children)

Look man. Right now you just need to chill, reflect on your relationship and see the things that went wrong ON BOTH SIDES, and take this knowledge with you into future relationships.

Stop looking at her social media like a dipshit, it's going to make the pain worse. You have to act as if she is dead, and if you see her in person, act as if she's a ghost. And we don't talk to ghosts in public, because that shit is weird, right? Full on ignore her until the day you die, that is the only way to handle this.

She had this guy lined up WAY before she left you, I can assure you. Very few women hop from one dick to another one in a day, they usually make a "guy friend" and then soften him up for weeks/months before they jump into his bed. This is what is called "branch swinging", so rest assured, your girlfriend is a cheater. Start reading the sidebar, buy a few of the books TRP preaches about such as "No More Mr.Nice Guy" and "The Rationale Male" and hit the gym. If you're feeling anger towards women right now, chill out on the dating and take time to better yourself. Get back in the game when you feel ready. Fucking a woman who can lay it down in the bedroom will help get over her, but don't do it just to get over her, do it because you want to.

[–]resnine 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Ignoring is sort of immature. She'll know you're just doing it in spite of her and that will just validate her. I'd talk to her and just act happy like the break-up didn't mean shit. I do this with my ex's and it works a lot better than the awkward moments where you both see each other in the grocery store and you just idle the produce section ignoring her existence.

[–]heyuguyzbrekfazt 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I agree that ignoring is sort of immature, but my point is this guy can't control his emotions and pull off the friendly banter as if everything is okay. Your point is valid if he has his emotions on lockdown.

[–]resnine 1 point2 points  (2 children)

A lot of the advice here is solid, if he keeps up with the sidebar and lifting his emotional state should be fine. It's sort of a shit rock and a hard place catch-22 situation. If he ignores her in public and they both notice each other Eh she'll just think he's mad at her (so she wins). But if he acts like nothing happened, all happy then he wins because it communicates to her that she didn't mean shit to her and therefore didn't affect him.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I see your logic but overall agree with the other guy. I need more time before I can control myself. I am my own worst enemy. You make a strong case here though.

[–]resnine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Either way just keep at it.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

... and if you decide too, give that new girl a slap on the ass and a love choke. Be gentle with that choke though.

[–]beckersCS 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Step 1: Get the idea of you wanting her back out of your head ASAP. Thats some blue pill BS right there.

Step 2: Get your ass to the gym/focus on your self. The gym is a great place to clear your mind will help you get rid of your anxiety attacks.

[–]sjdfhskdjfh 3 points4 points  (1 child)

whoa whoa whoa, people still use tumblr?

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL I only looked at her shit. That site is AIDS

[–]lifeonlockdown 4 points5 points  (7 children)

I read somewhere that girls almost always have sex within 24 hours of a breakup

[–]resnine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could see that. It's an emotional bonding thing. They need that feeling again. Besides they have access to dick 24/7 so why not right? If us guys had access to pussy 24/7 we sure as hell would be using that for emotional satisfaction or otherwise too. But alas. unless you are high SMV getting pussy will be a struggle for you, unless you like'em as fat as they are ugly.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

WHAT THE FUCK. damn you really just blew my mind. Thats crazy man i dont even know what to say about that other than fuck this im goin my own fuckin way.

[–]resnine 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Don't go MGTOW, TRP is way less toxic and about improving yourself and becoming the best version of you. Re: first-hand experience.

[–]Imarobot2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I banged the best friend of the girl who led me here. It was well after the revenge fantasies so it was just another pussy. You won’t care after sometime. Don’t cave and text her, it gets easier and you stop caring al together.

[–]red_matrix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read:

You can do this. Now go and do it.

[–]redisthetruth 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Transform this anger into a rockin’ physique and within a couple months you’ll have more female attention than you could have ever imagined. It’s painful: Almost all men go through it at one point or another, especially if we’ve been brought up to be nice to women.

Never contact her. Seriously. It’s tempting but you’re way better off talking with other girls. Once you sleep with a couple more women, you’ll realize it’s all part of becoming a man.

Be strong. Lift weights.

[–]resnine 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yes. being raised by a single-mom + gaming addition + fapping addition = weak frame and low SMV

[–]redisthetruth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup it’s gonna be a rough few months, but it’s your responsibility to change your life. Decide that you want to improve yourself, take action, and the results will follow. Patience, my friend.

[–]coldsideofpillow136 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hey man, I went though a very similar situation with my ex. It took me 6 months before I found this site and got my shit together and stopped feeling miserable every day about the situation. I was pathetic. "Taking the pill" changed my life... Things will get better you just need to lift, read more, eat right, take care of yourself and please listen to the advice you get here. I could've used it a lot sooner.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea sucks im in a lot of pain. But i have gotten some great advice here.

[–]DaddyIssues6 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Proud of you; you’ve managed to not only identify you’re problem but you’ve also managed to void any excuses immediately. Congrats, this is the spark you needed for the rest of your life. Now that you can feel sorry for yourself, it’s time for a transformation.

The first step is to stop feeling sorry for yourself, in fact. A WOMAN did something so cruel to you. How could this have happened?! Every woman is capable of it, at least the ones that are viable in the market. The sooner you realize how frequently this happens, the better you’ll handle it.

Hit the gym. Practice confidence building technics, develop various hobbies, and make worthwhile friend/relationships.

Good luck

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Dude i just started to break down but you just put me in check.

Thats fucking true. A fucking woman did this. And it can happen again. I need to realize this. My fuckin frame is fucked right now. I need to build some.

I still feel sorry for myself in this moment but you made me realize that she FUCKED me over.

I was just over here getting sad like a beta bitch blue pill pussy because i went outside and got a similar feeling i felt when i first met her. I am thinking of what that felt like and its making me sad. But youre fucking right. She fucked me over.

I am still in pain and my chest is tight but you helped me man.

[–]resnine 0 points1 point  (4 children)

It'll take a little time to heal but it does get better. Everyday it gets better. Remember: this too shall pass.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Aww that just reminded me of her because thats her quote. She wore a bracelet that said "this too shall pass" everyday we were together. never took that thing off. Oh well guess she was right time to focus up and appreciate the fact that this shit is gonna pass

[–]resnine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She did you a favor. You are sad over a woman who treated you like shit, like you were nothing to her. Remember that.

[–]DaddyIssues6 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If it means anything, my ex, who was my oneitus for over 5 years fucked me over, but if it wasn't for her kicking me straight in the balls, I would have probably married a potential cheater and popped some babies out only to have them end up hating their father.

She did you a favor. A huge, massive favor. This emptiness you feel is a combination of lack of validation and lack of patterns; you always counted on her to be there and to make you feel wanted, now that that's gone, you feel odd.

Again, develop a new habit as soon as possible and beat that bitch to the ground until it becomes a part of your life. Forgetful and Forgiveness will follow suit.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is good stuff. Thank you. I am definitely empty and lonely. No matter where I go, who I talk to, and what I do I feel lonely. I am so alone because I was never that close with another person before. Everyone else seems so.. bleh.

Fuck this hitting the gym daily because of you guys.

[–]Stagnant_Flow 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I was in your situation first kiss, first gf, the girl i lost my virginity to left me and I had no clue it was coming. When bad things happen people say their life if falling apart all around them but for it felt as if I was the only thing falling. I could see my old life that I was so happy with and I was falling away from it into a deep dark pit. The anxiety, the hate, the wanting her back is all you in a panic because you are falling. Let me tell you what is at the bottom of the fall, a spring board. Now you can choose to hit the spring board and launch your self into a better spot then you have ever been in before or you can miss that spring board and hit the ground (depression, social isolation, having a victim complex). Listen to the people here they will help you hit the spring board not the ground. Read the side bar, lift, focus on yourself. I wish I had hit the spring board when I was in your situation. I hit the ground and let myself stay there way too long. Its been a long climb out and I have a LONG way to go. Learn for our mistakes.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will try man. Interesting analogy and thoughtful reply.

Gonna really give the gym a shot

[–]resnine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was a very visual message. Kinda reminded me of Sonic the hedgehog. Good post!

[–]khanrael 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Take your mind out of that place my friend. I know all to well what you’re feeling and so do many other people on here. The truth is stranger than fiction but that’s okay, now you can grow, you can become better...it’s up to you though.

And I’ll be honest, she never loved you...it’s only about status . It fucking sucks but that’s how it goes bro.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats fucking disgusting. She made me feel loved bro. Only to do me like that. Now i get to go make something of myself tho

[–]resnine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The truth is stranger than fiction

Just curious, what truth is stranger than fiction?

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Welcome to the game.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love games and I can’t wait to play

[–]RedSkeller 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're just angry you couldn't do the same. Fix that.

[–]cptgoatsack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome to Earth.

[–]Scheme00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome to the club man. This has happened to me 3 times. You needed this to happen to make you swallow the red pill. It was just your turn.

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take a trip to a far away land.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right now it sucks but one day you’ll be glad this shit happened to you. Because this is the kick in the ass you need to get a grasp on your life and start becoming a man. Now suck it up move on and quit being a whiny little bitch and go lift some weight, and talk to new girls, read the side bar. Ps- quit being a pussy, you’re not special.

[–]319Skew 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Download "Scream into the Void" when you feel like doing something beta - type it up in there and send it. Ween yourself off it as you keep lifting and reading the side bar

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the unique and interesting idea!

[–]NazoXIII 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Don't think to much about it, man. Take it from me, I've come across a video of my Ex-LTR getting fucked on Social Media taken when we were together, video proof of me getting cheated on for the whole world to see, and lemme tell you, could've been worse. At least she had the decency of breaking up with you first.

Hoes are always gonna be hoes, use that to your advantage.

There's a life lesson in all this, stop LTRing hoes.

[–]resnine 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Holy shit that must have been rough... but I'm sure that made you stronger once you endured it.

[–]NazoXIII 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Definitely strengthened my resolve. Loved that girl, and against TRPs teachings wanted to marry her someday, now I'm reading the sidebar, lifting and listening to Patrice with a "Bitches ain't shit" mindset. I won't lie, it was a much needed kick in the balls.

[–]resnine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We all gotta learn the truth someday, some sooner than others.

[–]omega_dawg93 1 point2 points  (5 children)

this is going to sting, but most of us (over 35) have been in this place. here's my advice...

  1. do NOT contact her. do the best you can to rid your mind of all thoughts of this woman. i know... it hurts... it will take time, but find something (anything) to occupy your brain space until you begin the 'forgetting' process. the best way... hunt down new pussy aka a friend with benefits. no relationship, just sex. then, buy a puppy. seriously, buy a pupper.
  2. be HAPPY that this has happened to you and opened your eyes. just think of how many guys are getting played (cheated on) and they don't know about it. you can LEARN from this experience, find your purpose, and move forward with the pain strengthening you for the next one.

[–]resnine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best way to forget one girl is to get behind another and start butt slamming. This guys SMV seems so low, that unless he pays a hooker I don't think he will be getting any soon.

[–]qwerty188507 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude the same thing happened to me three months ago it gets better. Just lift and focus on yourself. Download tinder to chat with other girls to keep your mind off of her. Just keep strength training and lifting once you confidence comes back from your gf dumping you, you can cold approach.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You’re a lucky guy. You’re getting an understanding in your first girlfriend. Sure it sucks, but don’t root through the trash to bring her back. That relationship is Posion. Now you hit the gym, read the sidebar, develop your frame, and learn how to live life as a man. Woman are attracted to real men and you life’s gonna get so much better.

[–]resnine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't use the same toilet-paper twice.

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

youre so right but im getting really sad at how true everything in this post is.

Its making me sad to realize that that part of me is dying every sentence i read. You guys are incredible. I am missing her now. But she is repaying me with this pain. And i need it.

Hitting the gym tonight. You guys are so persistent on the gym.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[deleted]

[–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

So i have been wondering lately and maybe youre the guy to ask. But should i ever lock a woman down again?

Like i seen men around me who clearly have higher SMV than i do. Clearly alpha. Yet they are all married and have gfs. why is this?

I just got out of a relationship and it feels exhilarating. But its built on straw not brick. And these hoes dont actually provide shit if i start lacking.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    yea this last girl sucked me dry of time, energy, and sanity. I agree with your consensus.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      i have seen colttaine and he is fascinating. First person who ever started to change my mind on feminism.

      [–]resnine 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Also, whatever you do, in everything you do, do it for yourself NEVER for the girls. The girls are just nice treats, you should never dedicate yourself to just fucking and meeting women. It should be all about you, and you first.

      [–]NextForever 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      bust a nut to her memory, then swallow it

      works like a charm

      [–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Thanks for the laugh man! Really needed it.

      [–]DiggerClam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Welcome to girls!

      [–]russelln 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      In a few months time she will just be another thot. You won't even miss her.

      [–]Threwuhway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This broad is not even worth your sadness. Feel the emotions and move on to the next chapter. You're in a way better spot without the slut. Start lifting, eating healthy and talking with girls. You'll be totally fine in a few weeks or months. You'll eventually look back at this time and laugh.

      [–]boom_bostic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I wouldn’t be so down on yourself....least she let you know it was over before she went out riding the CC. You say she’s contacting you...if it were me, I’d be interested in one thing only with her....of course that one thing is sex. Don’t let her know you are a wreck right now. Instead use that energy to invest in yourself. Time to plate this broad. Simple as that.

      [–]Big_Homie_Mozi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Actually read the side bar, read some stoic philosophy, and focus on thinking positive.

      [–]mbillion 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Who cares... Her business isn't your business anymore.

      [–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I’m still struggling to not stalk her shit. Now I’m seeing a post of a video of her smoking with the guy she left me for. I’m done with this beta blue pill shit. Starting tomorrow I ain’t lookin at none of her shit. She’ll be texting me in a week and I won’t be answering. I still care, but like you said her business is her business.

      [–]justicecantakeanap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      She was most likely banging him way before she broke up with you.

      Anyways, typical situation, you will grow this out, keep strong

      [–]W_O_M_B_A_T 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Valuable learning experience.

      [–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Painful learning experience too. Quite a bit of pain from this one.

      [–]Batmanforreal2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Welcome to the start of your new life. Its gonna be hard, but on the other hand, what you need to do is very simple:

      1) START LIFTING 5X A WEEK! 2) ghost the thot 3) give it time.

      [–]Bedtimeshine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yeh... she fucked him waaaay before Friday night. He wasn’t lined up... he was already 3 for 3 and gunning for the cycle. And yes fuck Her best friend.

      [–]Sylvester_Sterone 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I always enjoy advice from Lee Priest.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ge-DQ6A944

      [–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Decent watch, but hardly any empathy. Not saying he can’t spill his opinion. He talk about two concepts. That it’s over and done. And that you should move on to someone who makes you happy.

      Issue is, during the time of dwelling and pain you have no one. And once you’ve learned how to cope with the pain, someone comes along.

      What people like me want are ways to either speed up the process, or numb the pain. He gave neither of these. With that being said I’m pretty sure neither of those are possible. So basically all he does is remind me of the cold hearted truth, which just makes me feel worse because all I want to do is fast forward 3 months to when I’m okay again.

      [–]sky_fallen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Remember: The hamster peaks in physical strength when the girl is 19.

      [–]resnine 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      Friday night she was getting fucked and bragged about it on her tumblr. I lost it and took xanax after having a serious panic attack.

      Man you are LIVING in her frame. Don't feel too bad we've all been there. This was me with my first gf. Trust me dude, the first one is the hardest once you get past this one the rest are A LOT easier. It's good you realized this sooner than later. I remember my first gf doing this same exact shit, so you are not alone my bro, it is their nature. They are trying to get under your skin. They understand your emotions better than you understand them. When my first ex dumped me, I beta orbiters for years. And basically stalked her on social-media to see what she was doing (horrible mistake). Saw how a few days later she is hooking up with other guys. Then a week later hear of some gang-bang/rape (turned out it was made up). They lie and manipulate your emotions like it's a game/their toys. Never checked your ex's social media. Go radio-silence, drop her from ALL accounts. Again I repeat: DO NOT LOOK AT HER SOCIAL-MEDIA! BLOCK HER AND IGNORE HER ON ALL SOCIAL-MEDIA/COMMUNICATION. It is for your own good, you'll drive yourself batty reading all that shit. And trust me my dude, she knows that you are looking at that shit, it's her way of getting under your skin and fucking with you. Drop her, forget about her it's for your own good. Work-out and mediate. Game other girls.

      [–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      Hey man i appreciate you being so straight forward about the social media aspect to it. I have been weak.

      I went the first three days without checking it. I was strong. But yesterday i caved and looked at it. Today i caved and looked at ALL of it. She is definitely trying to get under my skin.

      I blocked her on snap, twitter, insta, etc. Only way for her to contact me is through text. She was texting me over the weekend. But she hasnt texted me since sunday. Thats what prompted me to stalk her social yesterday. Bug blunder because now i think "oh i checked it once i might as well check it every time i miss her/want comfort from a girl."

      How do i break this cycle of "it wont hurt me i already checked it and she cant see my stuff."

      [–]resnine 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      You stop it by reminding yourself how badly you felt when you she fucking ripped your heart out and stomped on it like it was a piece of garbage.

      [–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      true. ive never felt the way i felt in that moment ever in my life.

      [–]resnine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yes it's worse than physical pain. You'll be stronger afterwards.

      [–]Mattyice2857 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      In this world nobody cares about you or your feelings. Don’t cry over spilt milk and just clean it up and keep moving forward.

      [–]EscapedTheMatrix 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I just want to say how much I love these posts. Despite it being almost exactly the same story every time, they never get old. I love seeing new brothers join the ranks. It’s good to have you, man. We’re glad you’re here.

      If you are serious about this, read the entire sidebar, and FOLLOW THE ADVICE of all the endorsed contributors and moderators. If you do these things and truly apply yourself, it is amazing how quickly you will see results. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a long slow process and you’ll always have to be grinding. But you will see beginner gains, in social life as well as the gym.

      Just keep in mind that social skill is a muscle and needs to be worked out just like the rest of your muscles. You will never get better at talking to girls if you don’t start now. Talk to everyone, girls included. Learn to care less about what people think of you, and more about what you think of yourself. And prepare to be happier than you’ve ever been.

      But start by reading the fucking sidebar and getting your ass to the gym, you little bitch!

      [–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I am happy you got pleasure from my post. Thanks for the advice and encouragement

      [–]redpilledcuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She was not yours, it was just your turn.

      Friday night she was getting fucked and bragged about it on her tumblr.

      She's a ho. Only a ho does that. Forget about her and move on.

      [–]zielkarz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Feel your pain but I can't agree about cheating gender stuff. You probably wrote it in a heat of the moment but I know both men and women who cheat/cheated on their partners. Also, what's wrong with her fucking other guy after break up? I know it's painful. If you had options you would probably at least try to sleep with new girl.

      [–]MechanizedGamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It’s the fact that she told me she loved me 5 hours prior and broke up with me 18 hours prior that was gut wrenching. No time for every day recovery. She indirectly told me she didn’t give a single fuck about me. Even after I worked my ass off to get her sober and healthy.

      [–]ImmunosuppressedTau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It's your fault for being such a pussy. Women need tingles. Learn from this. Work your ass off and improve yourself. Everyday you wake up remember how much of a pussy you used to be and let it fuel the fire within. You're real lucky that you found this sub and have the potential to change. Some people live their whole lives in your current state. Best of luck with your self improvement.

      [–]poisedStygian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Someone guide me i am lost and in pain. I have hardly any knowledge on TRP i just want another girl to get this slut of an Ex out of my head.

      You've got a lot of work to do, but at least you're honest about your ignorance. Firstly, while conventional wisdom dictates that you go fuck ten other women (GFTOW), or fullfill your desire to find some other chick to get this girl out of your head, that's ultimately a defective long term solution. The true path is to make yourself your own mental point if origin instead of seeking external validation and existential relief through external variables (women).

      Women are a complement, or side effect, of self sufficiency and not an end in themselves. Even then, the union is transitory and that's what needs to be meditated on to counter dependency. It sounds like the gym paid off, now concentrate on similar pursuits that are self edifying. As for a short list of reading, crush the sidebar, and read Rollo Tomasi's first volume of The Rational Male asap.

      [–]Elitevaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It will take a long time for the gym to transform you. Yes, keep doing it, but what's more important is your mind. You are still being controlled by her. Learning the logical and emotional techniques of TRP will put you in the right place faster. The gym will also help your mind. Excercise relieves stress and anxiety in a lot of people and that will let you make better decisions (like not stalking your cheating ex or letting her control you further). You need to look back at your relationship with her as being your turn. Each of these guys that she has been with and cheated on, has had a turn. It's easy when you are hooked on one girl to think in terms that she is "yours". When you are being manipulated, she wants you to believe this. It will cause you to expend more energy and resources for her advantage. The way she's seeing this, she is "yours" for the moment, not "yours" forever. Love and forever are different to a woman than a man. Women say "I love" for everything. It holds no value. Forever to a woman is just the duration of caring or until it expires; the lifetime. Not your lifetime though, the lifetime of the emotions she experienced to feel that way. It's a completely different way of thinking, which is difficult to understand logically. However, if you think of it emotionally, it makes much more sense. The rest of womens actions and reactions start to make a lot more sense too. The way a lot of things can be rationalized and decided upon, even though they make no sense to you. You say she thinks she is the victim. If you pay close attention, you will see that generally no matter how wrong a woman is, she will always twist reality (hamster spinning, as we call it in trp) such that she is being violated instead of being the violator. Responsibility is something that most women will try to avoid, which is a big reason I believe there are so few female leaders. There are some women that have it, but compared to men, the ratio is much larger. You can see this commonly in various positions within the workplace. If a woman can have a man do some of her work (either due to authority or because she knows he has a crush on her), she'll put it off on him. Read the sidebar, there is a lot more in depth and generally accepted trp knowledge there. As you read, pay attention in your day to interactions with women and watch the way women interact with others (specifically with different women and especially the difference between how they treat strong alpha men and all other men).

      As for your moves, I think everyone is going to tell you something different. If you were stronger in TRP, I would tell you to go ahead and sleep with her again, as long as you can do so without getting her pregnant or catching an std. You just need that mental strength to throw her out your place and tell her "nah" when she asks you give her your commitment again. She's not your gf now. Don't let her be your gf again. You take some turns with other women now. Don't show her your anger. Don't show her your sadness. These things make her feel important and now she has no more importance to you. If the guy she had lined up isn't as good as you in her mind, she is going to try to come back to you and she's going to pull out all the stops to control you in any way she can. This can be through stronger sexuality, playing the victim, rationalization, or any other kind emotional tactic that you react with. Recognize what she is doing and use the appropriate trp knowledge to nullify it.

      [–]Zebleblic 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Just remember if this is the worst thing that happens to you in life you're pretty lucky. A lot of bad things happen to most people throughout their lives. Think about a small child who scraped his knee. It's probably the worst thing to have happened to him at that point and he feels scared and horrible. Later in life you don't even think twice about scraping your knee.

      [–]MechanizedGamer[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      True time will heal it. I doubt this will be my peak. But he abuse i endured form this clinically diagnosed borderline was traumatic. You guys are therapeutic though.

      [–]assholeofthesky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      am still a blue pill beta...well that explains that

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