How did I handle this plate's exclusive ultimatum? (self.asktrp)

submitted by Caper67

We've been fucking since May. She's one of 3 currently. Text convo included. I haven't responded to anything else. Looks like she came crawling back though...






[–]asCii88 109 points110 points  (18 children)

I wonder what phone talk is she talking about and what did you say there?

[–]BurningOrangeHeaven 111 points112 points  (4 children)

Yeah thats the actual turning point of the conversation.

[–]asCii88 16 points17 points  (3 children)

So what did you say?

[–]BurningOrangeHeaven 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Im not the OP o.o......

[–]asCii88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Haha. Oops.

[–]Caper67[S] 50 points51 points  (6 children)

The phone conversation was the day before her ultimatum, it happened on Saturday.

I was out Friday at a local pub for wing night with a girl who I grew up with who was home for a weekend visit that I didn't see in 6 months ( actually platonic ) and one of her friends were out and saw us together and ran back to tell her that I was with someone else. She called me on Saturday and brought it up. Instead of saying she was just a friend and explaining myself I just calmly reminded her that I was single and that from day 1 Ive been honest with her and never strung her along. Which I didn't. She was 100% aware of our dynamic and she was as fine with it on day one as I was. The whole speel she talks about in regards to emotional manipulation and someday maybe being able to give her love is dillusion on her part and nothing I've ever in anyway said or proclaimed.

Then the next morning I recieved that text.

[–]asCii88 22 points23 points  (1 child)

OP delivered. Have my thumbs up.

[–]ethical_pa 9 points10 points  (0 children)

OP delivered: he'll give her a thumb alright

[–]IncognitoMaster91 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Mmmmm....shake & bake (priceless)

[–]clausternn 2 points3 points  (2 children)

and that from day 1 Ive been honest with her and never strung her along.

What do you mean you have been honest with her and never strung her along?

Like, what are some examples of what you said or how you've otherwise accomplished that?

[–]Caper67[S] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

After the 3rd time we slept together she asked about what we were / a title and I explained to her that I enjoy the time we spend together but I'm not looking for anything exclusive or long term. She told me she was on the same page because she got out of a LTR 6 months prior and was also not looking to jump back in.

[–]clausternn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good stuff man, keep it up

[–]ethical_pa 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Ya, that's a big piece missing... This is obviously not the full picture.

[–]blysol 10 points11 points  (3 children)

It's actually quite clear what was said in that discussion

[–]t_jones730 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Yeah, you can figure it out from context. Essentially, he put his foot down and told her he’s been transparent about what he wants and her emotional roller coaster isn’t going to change that.

He maintained his current status, where he wears the pants.

[–]asCii88 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Alright. But that doesn't say who called, for how long was he explaining, how much he went into her frame. So I wonder, did he have the same tone and attitude as that of his two written responses or was he much more apologetic?

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 3 points4 points  (0 children)

or was he much more apologetic?

He would not have apologized. He would have only made it clear that he was always honest and upfront with her about the relationship.

In fact, he probably convinced her to apologize, since it was her who was trying to change things.

[–]kankouillotte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this shit is all useless humblebrag until we know what happened on the phone, and if op called, or answered the call

[–]2SirKolbath 79 points80 points  (2 children)

Wait, you're fucking Vicky, too?

[–]Martysteiner 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Hold on, you are fucking Vicky too?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I married her last night!

[–]crashgang 198 points199 points  (7 children)

Hahaha stop showing off, you’ve already handled the ultimatum.

[–]AfterC 90 points91 points  (6 children)

lmao "shake and bake"

[–]imtheoneimmortal 24 points25 points  (5 children)

what's this a usa slang?
never heard before

[–]Scuzzin 27 points28 points  (0 children)

"If you don't chew big red then fuck you"

[–]1kick6 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It’s form a movie with actor Will Farrell

[–]aShiftyLad 8 points9 points  (0 children)

go watch Talledega Nights: Legend of ricky Bobby. youll understand. its just a phrase.

[–]pascuccired 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's something that our dear President Abraham Lincoln used to say.

[–]Hammer_Tit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shake and bake is actually a breading you put on raw meat. Throw the meat in the bag with the breading, shake it, then bake it.

Also from a movie!

[–]TerminallyChill94 70 points71 points  (0 children)

😂 stealing "don't let the door hit you on the way back in". Dudes wild

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Love how she instantly goes to "immature fucking retard"

[–]2CainPrice 92 points93 points  (1 child)

I swear, I've had this same fucking conversation, just in slightly different words.

"You've been leading me on and manipulating me!"

"We had a mutual understanding that this was casual."

"But you're so nice to me and we talk. I mean really talk about things. And the way we cuddle. Don't pretend that this doesn't mean something!"

"You're supposed to like the people you have sex with. Doesn't mean we're getting married."

"lolhaha i don't want to get married! I just want to be exclusive!"

"Message heard. I'll stop talking and cuddling."

[–]mrrooftops 31 points32 points  (0 children)

It's their vocalized internal narrative projecting onto another. She's basically talking to herself.

[–]iknowthewhey 68 points69 points  (9 children)

Damn, hahaha it's like every girl has the exact same script. She probably rehearsed this w her friends before sending it to you. You handled it well, didn't enter her frame and stayed in yours. Although eventually she is going to push harder for monogamy and you are going to have to let her go. This response only works for so long for girls with any amount of self-respect. She wants monogamy and she's gonna get it from someone that isn't you eventually.

[–]rebuildingMyself 49 points50 points  (3 children)

She probably rehearsed this w her friends before sending it to you

This is why I never let a woman get away with talking about important shit via text. I always assume she lawyered up with two of her best friends and they are right next to her crafting replies for her like a president talking to another president. No, sweetheart, woman up and say it to my face.

[–]1kick6 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I like referring to this as “lawyering up”

[–]getinthevan315 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also like “woman up”

[–]zboo1h 22 points23 points  (3 children)

it's like every girl has the exact same script.

It's not like that, it literally is that. Bitches have no creativity. They all send the same "Hey there :)" first message. No fucking personality. No fucking humanity. No fucking creativity. Just holes and problems.

I'll take the holes, you can keep the problems.

Keep doing what you're doing OP.

[–]iknowthewhey 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Anger phase I see. Some girls are actually pleasant to be around at times and will treat you like a king.

[–]zboo1h 3 points4 points  (1 child)

If you're not angry you're not paying attention my dude.

[–]pridebrah 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Been there. Some of me is probably still there to a degree, but it ain't that bad. Guys are pretty similar too. That's just humans in a nutshell. Try not to be mad at the system, just adapt accordingly to win and try to laugh about all of it more. We're all dead in the end anyway, might as well laugh about it all.

[–]dulkemaru51 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not self-respect but simply her innate need for comfort.

[–]IrishGoodbye4 39 points40 points  (3 children)

“I’m not getting what I want, which is a thing we’ve never agreed upon that I would get. So, therefore, my friends convinced me that you’re manipulating poor lil me.”

Yeah you handled it great, obviously. Look at what happened after you handled the shit test. Good shit OP. She wants you waaay more now.

[–]imtheoneimmortal 9 points10 points  (2 children)

so after 10km of text just say some random generator catch phrase

[–]IrishGoodbye4 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Lolol. He was cryptic. Bitches love cryptic.

[–]imtheoneimmortal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

so if i answer: 01100100 01101001 01100011 01101011
a girl she will love it

[–]omega_dawg93 18 points19 points  (0 children)

lmmfao. OP said, "mmmm... shake & bake!!" oh shit. lol.

abundance mentality.

not giving a fuck.

staying cool, calm, & collected.

about OP... he read the sidebar.

[–]04712244664 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah boi! You earned my upvote

Now feel fucking proud mouthfucker

[–]bluechipmonk 33 points34 points  (8 children)

what does shake n bake mean tho?

[–]Toxik6 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It’s a funny line from a movie. In the movie he says it as if it’s a “so there” or catch phrase

[–]capecodchips 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Wondering the same thing

[–]buddboy 23 points24 points  (0 children)

so is she, that's the point!


[–]2comment 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Sounds about 100 degrees below spit n roast.

[–]vitamann 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's the whole idea, just spit out something that will send her spinning. I like to say "right foot in, right foot out" or "low tide, high tide", whatever she replies with, you don't reply.

[–]benmarvin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's a brand of bread crumbs made by Kraft since the 60s. As a catch phrase it was popularized by the move Talladega Nights.

[–]thomas_ja 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Its also a hella easy method to make low quality meth

[–]never_as_big_as_pump 33 points34 points  (6 children)

Holy shit. I thought you’re retard for replying like that and that you completely lost her.

How’s that possible? What goes through their mind? And why did she change her mind?

Still swallowing the pill, so I dont quite get all the things just yet.

Good fucking shit OP, ending left me drop a jaw.

[–]systemshock869 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Why would he be a retard for being blunt? She is trying to reneg the deal. Even if she doesn't come back he held his boundary and won't be backing down on it. Sounds like a win either way. If your only goal is getting access to pussy and keeping it around at all costs you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of being a doormat.

She changed her mind because she was just a child threatening to run away from home if she didn't get to eat cookies for dinner. I did the same thing when I was 8. If she actually meant what she said and wasn't a slave to her urges then she would have followed through. End of story.

[–]never_as_big_as_pump 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thanks for explanation! I get it now.

[–]jebemtvoju 17 points18 points  (2 children)

it doesn't matter what you say as long as it shows a lack of interest, i.e. it shows that you don't need to explain yourself to her because you've got options. She's going to overthink and make wildly far fetched explanations as to what you meant regardless of what you say and going to get it wrong anyway. In the end the overthinking is an investment on her part and that will most of the time make her more attached. Saying nonsensical shit to her serious three paragraph essay will just sent her hamster into overdrive and she'll spend all night thinking about what the fuck you meant. So she games herself for you and you didn't even have to think enough to make a marginally appropriate reply.

[–]never_as_big_as_pump 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

+nice name 😂

[–]markinsinz7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very helpful explanation thanks, gotta say tho with all the options a girl has these days via tinder insta and what not. I just don't get how they are in this position itself. Like literally a line of chads are her wanting. Granted all they want is to fuck her but still she has the attention of many men. And the guy she is thinking about is just like the rest of Chads. I personally believe they have multiple fuck buddies and do this with each of em till they get this best SMV fuckbuddy into a relationship

[–]DeusVictor 12 points13 points  (0 children)

They called and talked on the phone so he must have said something that kept her in his frame since she probably already gave up on him but he kept her by working frame on her.

[–]Toxik6 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Please tell us about the phone call

[–]imtheoneimmortal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just resume could be interesting

[–]JaspersChest 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Shake and bake....Well done!!!! 10/10 points for this sick ass mofo

[–]oytrp 16 points17 points  (0 children)


This is what abundance looks like.

[–]0kool74 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She knows the deal. You're not looking for anything more than sex. if she sin't down with that any longer, then she can go find her a beta bux while screwing a Chad on the side.

[–]BuckNekkid18 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Laughed hard af when I read "Mmm shake n bake".

[–]allcity28 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You sir are a legend!

[–]ishyman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I got slapped in the face ( assault ) cause this petite El Salvador girl thought I was leading her on lol

[–]sixseven89 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mmm shake n bake

[–]Cmdrj-nice 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good lad you sir are a legend. Remember boys we hold the keys to commitment, dont let any hoe strong arm you into giving her commitment

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As TRP as it gets. Good job.

[–]Werewolf35b 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't know what shake and bake means but somehow it was still funny lol.

She's just being drama.

There's a whole soap opera being played out in her little female bird brain.

Dudes like ....so what. Lol.

Well done

[–]wobbleelbbow 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Since it is a humble brag/circlejerk which became quite often on this sub, I'll bite - why don't you guys bragging here about your multiple plates and posting such "field reports" post their pictures once in a while?

I mean, you can black out their eyes or entire faces, but just show us their bodies.

[–]pridebrah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this idea.

[–]FromTheCaveIntoLight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of the best posts I’ve seen in a while. This is ow it’s done!

[–]2chazthundergut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Beautiful, champ!

[–]mismm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Her awareness of the situation and nonetheless her inability to exit the situation is quite amusing. She is completely right but yet the tingles and the hamster just won't let her let go.

[–]El_Serpiente_Roja 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao that last one

[–]wheresMYsteakAt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved the shake and bake response

[–]Scuzzin 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]twdziki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If someone needs to tell others "I'm a good person", they probably aren't.

[–]Aesthetic_God__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good job John. Keep it that way.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (11 children)

Can you share her nudes ?

[–]Adadya 8 points9 points  (1 child)

For masturtific purposes.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I definitely would fap to it under certain conditions

[–]jebemtvoju 5 points6 points  (8 children)

there's a ton of porn of the internet. Are you here because you need a ego reaffirming masturbatory backstory to your porn?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (7 children)

Yes actually- porn is boring without a backstory to it

[–]jebemtvoju 7 points8 points  (6 children)

you're treating what I've said like a shit test but you should maybe consider how desparate it sounds to beg for some random slut's who's being banged by some other dude nudes

[–]TheRiseAndFall 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This fucking guy. Thanks for the lols.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I guarantee it’a nothing but a testament that someone is willing to give her attention, and since women seek attention, this is a compliment and she should feel flattered

[–]jebemtvoju 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I was talking about you though I didn't mention her feelings once

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That doesn’t bother me in the slightest and as long I get my nut im good

[–]jebemtvoju 2 points3 points  (1 child)

okay keep jerking off to other people's success then

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I never said I didn’t have success- I just said I like background stories and porn lol

[–]nicholson- 6 points7 points  (18 children)

As long as you have been honest from the start and made your intentions to never want to be involved in anything more than having sex, you are completely in the right. However, its not really fun or appreciated to play with peoples emotions if you are lieing to her suggesting you will LTR her. However, you haven't said you have done that, so I can't blame you for anything you have shown. I don't know how people can be such emotionally dulled down robots, but hey, that's me I guess. I personally would just end it with this girl out of feeling sorry for her. Maybe I have yet to swallow the pill in that case, what is the end game here? To play with emotions and manipulate people? If that is what TRP is, i'm not game.

My point is this girl clearly is not going to shift on her "feelings"... so why keep a dog alive when it clearly needs to be put down? Put her out of her misery and move on to another plate would be my thing personally. You gain nothing from keeping this girl in your selection at this point. Its gone too far. For your own benefit if anything.

[–]danp64 12 points13 points  (3 children)

He’s not playing with her whatsoever, I would assume OP made his intentions clear from the beginning. TRP isn’t about manipulation it’s about self improvement and positive masculinity.

[–]Thunderfin 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I personally don't think his texts show "positive masculinity", but to each their own. More what a fifteen year old guy would say then a 20 or 30 year old RP man.

[–]nicholson- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You said it best

[–]blysol 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You know of a single chick without 3+ beta orbiters constantly strung along?

[–]Saberinbed 8 points9 points  (11 children)

Fuck outa here you know how hard girls play with guys?

[–]DeusVictor 5 points6 points  (8 children)

Someone’s in the anger phase get over it buddy girls play hard and? That’s the way they are they can’t change so why whine about it and act bitter if we can just improve ourselves and win at their own game.

[–]Saberinbed -4 points-3 points  (7 children)

I’m not angry. I just don’t care about a girls feelings because they will do the same shit tenfolds back to you in a heartbeat. This dude was trying to whiteknight.

[–]nicholson- 0 points1 point  (6 children)

"Whiteknight" - So that term is used even when its not appropriate now then? News to me. I am not shaming OP's responses, they are the best response towards someone who has already been told countless times that exclusivity is off the cards. I'm only against manipulation and emotional game playing. Whether it be a man or a woman. Girls have nothing to do with my response.

[–]jebemtvoju 1 point2 points  (5 children)

emotional game playing

as opposed to what, gaming women rationally?

[–]nicholson- 2 points3 points  (4 children)

emotional game playing is not the issue, we need to play our emotions to excite ourselves, have desires, needs and what not. That was not my point, my point is to know when to put a dog down and be merciful when its run its cause. What would i physically gain from keeping a girl who has foolishly let herself become involved in myself by her own silly merit? I gain nothing from it, situations like this and spinning plates run their course, thats why they are plates and not LTRS.

[–]jebemtvoju -1 points0 points  (3 children)

I gain nothing from it

if regular sex isn't something you consider to be a gain then you're not only in the wrong sub but also in violation of rule zero

[–]nicholson- 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What meaningful gain would I get out of fucking someone i know for a fact i am stringing along emotionally to the point where there feelings on an LTR won't change. I don't know about you, but i'm not a psycho. And you completely twisted what i said to suit your own agenda and beliefs.

[–]jebemtvoju 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What meaningful gain would I get out of fucking someone

the fucking

[–]nicholson- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree but not to someone who doesn't deserve it if so, my morals are too high for my own self, i'm not a nihilist like some guys here, i have my own moral system to do with my own conscience, no one else. But it seems that OP made his intentions clear so there is no issue.

[–]pridebrah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And we're above that.

[–]trpSenator 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ouch... Well you're at a huge crossroad. I don't know ANYTHING about you, so I'll just go off my personal outlook and how I'd handle it -- personally.

I'd either decide if I'm that into her and consider slowing down, or cut her loose. She's at the point where she CLEARLY wants you, thinks about you, loves you, day dreams about you... For all intents and purposes she's ripe and ready and she wants you.

If you keep leading her on, it's just kind of mean. I mean, if I were in my 20s I'd do it because, fuck it, free sex, but you already are running 2 other chicks... Three is quite a lifestyle crowd so you can afford to cut one lose for her own good.

Realistically, what's going to happen is she's going to want you more and more, until she just drops off anyways. Women eventually want commitment because their clock is ticking and they don't have time to wait around when it's buzzing. So it's really up to you.

I'm not going to judge you, because it's whatever you want. But these sort of situations deal with much larger and nuanced life points. Like, if you're just trying to have fun and not really care about anyone... Taking it at your pace and doing as you please... Definitely do you. But then later you start thinking about bigger picture things through meditation, and how you are as a man in the world, and how you either create value or destroy it with your precense. Like I said, in my 20s I'd definitely be okay with destroying a little value in the world for some hedonistic pleasures, but personally I'm past that stage now where pussy is just pussy, and women are abundant so I have no need to drag them along. All it would be doing is causing a hamster a little frustration.

[–]WoodWizzy87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s gotten to the point where she knows she getting used for sex and wants you to be her BF. But she agreed to casual dating and casual sex without commitment and now she’s trying to reneg on the deal.

What a time to be alive for any guy that can hold frame and be upfront

[–]boy_named_su 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you want to be exclusive with her?

Does she know your deal-breakers for exclusivity?

[–]Morphs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How often do you see her? Seems like you've been spending a tad too much time with her in the past so she caught feelings.

[–]Kanvaslaw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lost it at shake n bake

[–][deleted]  (5 children)


[–]nahlolol 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Why would he cut her loose? He enjoys spending his time with her. If she goes bat shit crazy, sure but ultimately wall texts of "where is this going" "what are we" "I want more" "it's all or nothing" happen. He handled it correctly.

It's her job to prove she is wife material and it doesn't happen by giving someone an ultimatum.

False hope? Projecting... Fair? She knows exactly what he is willing to provide and she excepted this.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    You clearly don't understand what happened here. She pushed for what she wanted and was denied. Nothing changes for OP here BECAUSE he held frame. He gets sex on tap as a good plate should be for. You don't break plates cause they try for commitment. That's what they're supposed to do. Plates pushing for commitment means you're on top of your game. Keep killing it OP

    [–]nahlolol 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    She is not misinterpreting anything

    [–]WoodWizzy87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If she had wanted to control some of the power dynamic, she shouldn’t have banged him so easily without commitment. Any girl worth a grain of salt with good values knows to not give up the goods so easily

    [–]DadOnDabs 0 points1 point  (0 children)