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Walked out off 6year long relationship. (self.asktrp)

submitted by iwalkedout6years

firstly i want to say, English is not my mother language.

Hello, I just discovered this sub when about 3 months ago i started to find lies here and there from my EX. I'm young, I'm only 22 years old guy. My Ex is 24. It all started with this "Just Friend". I'm not stupid too think a random new guy is "Just A Friend". Neither is she that naive to think he was just sending innocent as friend kiss emoticons and flirty little messages. She knew what he was up to but liking the attention like they all right?.

At first it started with this, He is "Just A Friend", well yeah sure. Then it got to deleting the chat and hiding his snap chat name, Then it went to lying about where she was while she was fucking him. At first i tried to play my cool. but i already knew what was up so i started hitting the gym more often, started on juice, i know i'm to young. i started stacking what i believe you all call plates.
My Ex started questioning why i was so much at the gym and getting so big, i all i said was Well i like to look good which brought jealousy into her.

When i caught her first lie, about him on snapchat because she tried to say he was a CO worker at first. I believed her at first until i saw those emoticons and how that little joy smile on her face lit up when she was reading his messages but still wouldn't show me. Then i did some digging found out he wasn't working at her work. but worked like 5 minutes away from her house.

Second lie: He is "Just a friend" and don't you trust me? sure i did THEN. but then i saw messages where always gone and she said she hasn't been talking to him. Still took her phone everywhere and 99% it was on silent. I knew i should walk away. but deep inside i was a bitch boy i guess, trying to deny this saying to myself i'm being insecure.

3rd lie: I was at movie. Yes how come you where at movie when you couldn't even tell me what it was about?. she then tried to put this out like this was alright to do.

What she said

She: i wasn't at the movie i met up with "John" the girls cancelled the plan about the movie and i had nothing to do.

Me: What did you guys do?

She: Nothing really. (FIXED) We fucked

Me: Well care to explain "nothing"?

She: We just went to this bar and hung out for a bit nothing serious

Me: Sure nothing "serious" why then would you try to lie to me?

She: Because i knew you would act like this

Me: Well you lied, you said you guys didn't do anything, you tried to lie about the movie and also where you where which questions me now what did you guys do? did you go to his place?

She: Yes we did go to his place but nothing happened just talked about how happy we are me and you together

Me: You know you can't lie to me, It's time to tell me the truth i can see how you are acting all tensed up so what happened did you guys have sex?

She: Ewww noo i wouldn't fuck him.. he tried to kiss me but i moved away (FIXED) He tried to kiss me and i kissed back

Me: He tried to kiss you? why didn't you tell me that earlier?

She: So you wouldn't be jealous.. like you are now stop being so jealous and protective

Me: Well if you would stop putting lies into my ears i wouldn't be questioning so much. i know something happened even if you admit it to me or not. but i´m leaving and this is over

That moment i walked out of the door and as i got into my car, she came outside crying and told me that they had sex but she felt so bad about it. I told her that this was over, after 6 years of relationship and all this bullshit trying to deny and lie to me hiding stuff from me is enough for me to never gain trust in her again.

I won't take her back, if i do she will be the "boss" and have the upper hand, i have self respect for myself,

This was about 7 hours ago and i really wanted to share this here, it's been hard 7 hours today, i just went hung out with my friend, went to the gym, then read here some threads and thinking if i should tell you my story, yes i have tears in my eyes still, i wont deny that this was hard but i can't put my respect down for some lying bastard

I'm damn angry for not walking away sooner!


[–]chachaChad 119 points120 points  (11 children)

Good for you, man. Ghost. Don't look back.

[–]iwalkedout6years[S] 37 points38 points  (10 children)

Yes i wont look back. I look better then ever! already got few plates to hang out with.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 24 points25 points  (9 children)

plates on TRP is now understood as "at least two girls you are fucking but not committing to" (which used to be called soft harem).

If you don't fuck them yet, call them prospects.

[–]iwalkedout6years[S] 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Prospects it is!

[–]SovereignSoul76 5 points6 points  (1 child)

God damn, I wish I still had enthusiasm like that! Haha.

Good for you, man. It's not an easy path you've chosen, but it sure as shit beats the alternative. Be proud.

[–]iwalkedout6years[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It´s not easy path, but i can focus more on myself build myself up as a man. nothing to stress over, nothing to worry about. it's just me, myself and i.

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    Damn. Are you implying promiscuous women are ridden with diseases because they're not practicing safe sex themselves? That's a bit too mysoginistic an opinion for this sub

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Ugh. Slut shaming is so patriarchal! It's 2017 baby, and we are now sex-positive. Stop being such a bigot!

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Gee, the sarcasm was not obvious enough?

        OK let me try straight then: Anyone with multiple partners and smart do protect themselves. That applies to men & women, straight & gays. Your hate for "redpillers" make you looking for ways to shame us, without even realizing your arguments drip with intolerance. But we don't care. You and your double-standard morals amuse us.

        [–]tossa01 23 points24 points  (3 children)

        about fucking time

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

        I knew i should walk away a lot sooner. BUT i was still swallowing the pill also in denial that she was special and good

        [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 14 points15 points  (1 child)

        And sunken cost fallacy, and power of habit, and fear of the unknown, and beta delusion.

        Don't be too hard on yourself. It's hard to walk away after years of not even considering walking away.

        The important is that you did, and that you're lucky enough to have found TRP so young.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Yes i am. i'm trying not to be too hard. but it's a small prize to pay i think. i knew better but this beta delusion had the upper hand.

        [–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (5 children)

        Walked out on my 7.5 year LTR at 22 as well.

        Keep ghosting her, I tried to stay sociable for a few months but just got sick of the shit. I haven't talked to her for almost 2 years now and have never been happier.

        Focus on yourself. Whatever you do, never bring her up unless you are explicitly asked.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        Good job!

        I'll maybe have to bring her up next couple of days when people ask. but i wont bring her up first.

        somehow even though it's not long time that we broke up but this feeling of being alone and single is so good.. nothing to worry about oh good god i missed it.

        [–]The__Tren__Train 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        be sure not to talk bad about her behind her back.. just tell everyone "it just wasn't working out" or "we just grew apart"

        that will twist the knife

        [–]Peter_B_Long 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Keep it vague. "Hey how's x?" "She's ok" or "How are you and x?" "We ended things, wasn't working out. What's up with you?"

        I call bullshit on how you're currently feeling. Maybe you want to convince yourself that you want to feel like that, but dude trust me, just feel the pain and sadness of it. Get it all out. It's okay to feel depressed for a week or 2. The sooner you get it all out and really get over it, the sooner you will be able to improve yourself and successfully spin plates.

        It's better to get it out now and get it over with than to have a bad taste in your mouth in your subconscious assuming that you are happy without her and then 3 months later see her holding hands with that guy she told you not to worry about and go home in tears feeling depressed finally admitting to yourself how much you miss her..

        [–]jupc 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        LTR at age 14? wow.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        From freshman year of HS through almost all of College. First five years were great. Last 2.5 were my former-self trying to hold things together.

        Live and learn, you can't change the past only better your future.

        [–]dontbedenied 26 points27 points  (1 child)

        "Don't you trust me?"

        This question makes me rage so much. Women ask this and then go and cheat on you. I can't stand how manipulative they are. Dump any bitch who utters these words.

        [–]1Pink1Stink 33 points34 points  (5 children)

        Yes we did go to his place but nothing happened just talked about how happy we are me and you together

        What a slimy cunt. You should have told her off then.

        [–]redditdawg11 12 points13 points  (1 child)

        This is the type of shit that makes me realize I'm not out of the anger phase.

        [–]Cazazkq -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

        You're so awesome you sneeze on your parents.

        I hope you have a nice day!

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        Yes, But i wanted a confession or to see if something more would come out which it did like this

        She: Ewww noo i wouldn't fuck him.. he tried to kiss me but i moved away

        it should have been He kissed me and i kissed him back

        [–]OracleofFl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        You DON'T need a confession...closure is for losers. You have enough information.

        [–]Westernhagen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Yes we did go to his place but nothing happened

        Even if you were absolutely 100% certain that nothing happened, just her being alone in some strange man's place is sufficient grounds for nexting her.

        [–]vangodloss 24 points25 points  (5 children)

        Stop the juice, you're too young. You'll fuck your T over.

        [–]Tough_Luv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        That's not necessarily true.

        I understand why you would say that. At his age he may not be responsible enough to properly use, and apply the methods to properly recover.

        I know dozens who did only a few cycles at younger ages and recovered without issue. I don't know a single who 'fucked his T over.' Example: 90% of pro athletes.

        31 now, with over 5 years of responsible on an off use. Healthier and hornier then ever.

        [–]1MrTheFalcon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Been there after 15 years of beatdown. The T recovers. Do squats.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Already stopped, Just did 2 and half month cycle. doing PCT now.

        [–]xavine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Where did you see this? I don't see anything on his submitted posts

        [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

        Isn't trickle truth the worst? Yet it always comes out in the end. Stupid lying cunts can never keep their mouths shut.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Trickle truth classic. works on so many guys.

        [–]Peter_B_Long 6 points7 points  (8 children)

        Just broke up with an LTR of 5 years 5 weeks ago.

        I know it was hard but you did the right thing. You should lay off the juice dude. It's gonna fuck you up in the long run. My best advice would be to completely ghost her. NEVER talk to her again. Delete all of her social media and unfollow all of her friends and people that would post about her. In fact, get off social media, and throw away your computer while you're at it.

        2nd, keep hitting the gym, but get off the juice.

        3rd, this will be the hardest part, but you must learn to internalize what happened and try to take as much responsibility as you can. If she didn't respect you it is because you weren't a respectable guy. If she cheated on you it is because you let it get to that point not walking away sooner.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        If she didn't respect you it is because you weren't a respectable guy.

        Agreed to an extent. You can be killer in many ways, a guy that any rational person would meet and respect, but if you are a little sensitive or put up with some shit or don't demand/command respect...then pieces of shit will disrespect you.

        This is evidenced when sane and rational people universally respect a person, but then some assholes find your weak spot.

        So, "respectable" is not some black and white thing. You can be respectable but not yet respect yourself enough to walk out quickly on shit shows. The quality of not putting up with any shit and caring for yourself heavily is an important metric in respectability, but far from the only one (to me anyway). I've known great men that suffered from low self esteem and their wife/other assholes shit on them, but they had close friends that respected them a lot.

        [–]Username56425 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        What is the juice?

        [–]Peter_B_Long 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Steroids

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

        I'm off now. I can say that i won't delete her off. i'm gonna show her i can do just fine with out her. because i think deleting her off will show a sign of weakness. because i already made my choice that it won't be worth to try again. never.

        but gym has always been a part of me. so no quitting there.

        3rd: Yes holy moly. i'm still figuring out what caused this. I can say i'm respectable. but it's hard to identify why and what. i think it was the Beta delusion that caused me to be cheated on. i knew i should walk away sooner but didn't.

        [–]Peter_B_Long 16 points17 points  (1 child)

        Dude she's dead to you. Delete her. Trust me.

        [–]returnofthemackX 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        If you want to show her anything, she still owns you

        [–]_the_shape_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Listen to everyone here telling you to delete her off your social media.

        You raise the issue of "weakness", but you're not fully thinking it through. What you are concerned about is being perceived as weak by her when you ought to be doing everything to get yourself to an indefinite state of indifference. If you care about whether or not she perceives you as weak, then you still care about her perception of you.

        Keeping her around on social media will fuck with your odds of getting to that point - believe me. You will be perpetually tempted to check up on her, and you only keep the odds high of maintaining tabs on her, even if inadvertent.

        I contemplated this very thing endlessly for a full week when my ex and I broke things off until I discussed it with a good friend and (thankfully) he advised that I go ahead and completely disregard whatever the fuck she may think about me.

        There is no more we or us or her in your life. All that matters at this point is you. That's it. Do yourself a massive solid and remove her from every single platform. Your full recovery is more important than any concern about you being weak or not. Screw all that noise.

        Double-down on looking after yourself and try to flush every trace of her in your mind by removing anything that keeps your focus on her.

        [–]jkmonkey94 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        Good for you! Being with a woman like that is toxic and will eventually break you. Walking a way is the best thing you can do for yourself.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Yes indeed it is. In the end this would have mentally break me down. because i already had the gut feeling something was off, i also had few lies from her. so. this was matter of time.

        i somehow put myself in the position because i should have walked away sooner.

        [–]Mustaka 2 points3 points  (4 children)

        Delete her now from all social media and block her number. Give her no way to contact you. Put all her shit in boxes and drop them off at her place when you know she will not be there.

        Other than that you handled things well.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] -1 points0 points  (3 children)

        I can say i won't delete or block her. i already made my choice. somehow i think blocking and deleting is a sign of weakness. because i know this relationship will never be again. never ever.

        I want to show her that i can easy live with out her and be happy.

        [–]Mustaka 8 points9 points  (2 children)

        I want to show her that i can easy live with out her and be happy.

        That is a revenge tactic and will backfire eventually. Always does. Plus it gives her a way to creep back into your life.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        oh.. Thank you. maybe it's better to go no contact for awhile. she´ll be trying so hard to see what i'm doing with my life.

        [–]TheMexipinoy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        go no contact forever*

        [–]1Pink1Stink 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Good Job, stay strong.

        [–]failingtheturingtest 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        Now you get to the fun part in life. Also, post this on the main sub r/TheRedPill . It makes more sense there as a Red Pill example. If you don't have the karma to post, post, when it's rejected hit the mods up, they will decide on its merits.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Thanks will do.

        [–]Docbear64 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Good for you man , I know this shit doesn't feel good but you saved yourself from having your heartbroken later and walk way from the relationship with some of your self- respect still in tact.

        [–]W_O_M_B_A_T 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        It's natural to be angry and to feel like a fool. But you did the right thing.

        Fucking good for you. To hell with that lying slut. She sounds toxic.

        Your ex is a stone cold, calculating manipulator. The whole thing with the crocodile tears/waterworks and the gaslighting ("I knew you would act this way") is eerie to me. She had no intention of telling you the truth, ever. Was only upset that her lies failed to produce the response she planned.

        What kind of person tells the truth only as some kind of "hail-mary play" or last resort when the person they conned is literally driving away? "I can't think of anything else, maybe confessing the truth will work?"

        Doesn't seem to experience remorse.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yup stonecold. I guess if i was still in my old mind i would have believed her! lucky i'm not. Thanks to this when i found something was off. i was able to read here and it opened up my mind about a lot of things. like this "Dont you trust me" classic shit.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Just finished reading your article! great job!

        If your wife or girlfriend says something like this it's true, you run. it's a start of a huge lie. You'r not the problem. she is hiding a bigger lie but trying to flip this over on you!.

        [–]Trooper_1868 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        If you ever feel yourself slipping off, think off the fact that if you were not on here and did not know how to read the signs, she would have kept doing this forever. And she would not have given a single fuck. Its ruthless. and horrible. And for some women, they will think nothing was wrong with what they did. Even after all this, she will still tell everyone that you are a dick for breaking up with her.

        Glad you are getting gains. I dont juice, nearly not that intense at the gym at this point. Doubt I ever would. But kudos to you.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Thank you, I'm so happy for this sub!

        I can honestly say about juice it was worth it. i probably wont do it again.

        [–]Frosty_Resilience 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Ghost her. You want your last encounter to be remembered by her as her most pathetic moment and your awakening.

        [–]11-Eleven-11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Respect.

        [–]bonekeeper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life. Enjoy it!

        [–]Icanus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        The red pill is hard to swallow. But you're better off now.
        Go to the gym every fucking day.
        Enjoy abundance of pussy

        [–]1walawalawa 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        Here's something worth a closer look:

        Me: Sure nothing "serious" why then would you try to lie to me? She: Because i knew you would act like this

        This is exactly why ghosting is the most effective way of dealing with this kind of behavior.

        Talking this out will always backfire.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        You talking about ghosting her when i knew she was lying and not try to get her to admit the lie? i know deep inside she already knew what she did was wrong.

        [–]1walawalawa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Exactly. What did getting her to admit it do? She would only accuse you of being insecure, jealous, not able to handle it...

        Girls hate hate HATE being perceived in any way as the bad one so will find a way to reframe that.

        [–]No_senses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Forget the anger, be happy that you dodged a bullet. Trust me, I was in a similar situation. Soon you'll look back and find it funny how much you actually cared about this.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

        [–]dontbedenied 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Don't throw her shit away, that gives her an excuse to keep harassing you. Drop her stuff at her place or have a friend do it.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Lucky i got so many friends, already got Prospects i thought the word was Plates but it's Prospects. so no problem there.

        angry and sad=GYM time. nothing beats an angry workout.

        [–]DiggerClam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Thanks for the write up, OP. Great job on having the balls to walk away. Take everyone else's advice here; it's the best way forward.

        [–]Bear-With-Bit 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Fuckin yes. I got pumped just by reading.

        I still have conversations in my head with my ex wife, been 2 years since we split. Not easy but it gets easier.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Sometimes we never get over people, but learn to live with it as in past.

        [–]Bear-With-Bit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Well, shit. Seems you are on the right path already.

        [–]Iwassleepingawake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Good for you bro. Keep impoving, it always works out

        [–]All_Ads_Deceive 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Congrats on walking away. Time for self improvement and a great future of spinning plates.

        This exactly what trickle truth looks like boys

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Didn't know trickle truth until i read it here.

        So i can thank this Sub/TRP. for this. otherwise i would still be with her.

        [–]1MrTheFalcon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Been there, and didn't have support. You are ahead of the game. Smart. Great job!

        [–]Super_Shitlord_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Good man, you've done what a lot of men couldn't.

        [–]Fontess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        22 man. perfect time for new start. Wish you all luck.

        [–]beginner_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        i started hitting the gym more often, started on juice, i know i'm to young. i started stacking what i believe you all call plates.

        Lol. I hope this was a joke. Else go read the sidebar.lol.

        [–]Greek-God-Brody 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        A harsh, bitter truth you may not be ready to accept: women cheat on you when you aren't man enough. It's your fault she cheated.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Bitter truth there.

        I know it's somehow on me that she cheated. Either i should have left earlier or be more of a man. but now i'm trying to find the cause the hopefully prevent in future problem.

        [–]BusterVadge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Sorry to hear about your LTR going sour. AWALT is true in all cases, and even the most loyal women will cheat or branch swing if they know that they can get away with it with zero repercussions.

        You did the right thing, and I won't lie, it will sting for a long time but you can look back at this and grow from it.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        It did! but i was a beta delusional guy first.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Your story brings so many angry thoughts into my head. I'm truly happy you're out of that hell, man. Never again let yourself get consumed by a woman like that. Only up from here.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yes it does i hope some guys learn this and start reading here.

        [–]Throwawaydb10643 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Good for you

        [–]PaperStreetVilla 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Didn't you post this last month?

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I'm positive i did not, this is my first post here ever and my first account.

        [–]BlueBlus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Sorry to hear this but good job dude. You handled it like a pro

        [–]StudntRdyTeachrApear -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

        This was hard to read. Is English your first language?

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Sorry but no it's not.

        [–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

        What's your question?

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        I guess he just wants our input and opinions on what happened.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yes i dont have karma.

        [–]iwalkedout6years[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I don't have karma for Redpill.