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TRP showed me the light but robbed me of my happiness. I can't help but feel disgusted by the world. (self.asktrp)

submitted by Barks95

I am a 22 year old university student, 6'1 and handsome with a good physique. Since digesting TRP and it's advice, my life has ostensibly improved by most measures. I fuck hotter girls, more girls and I have my game down to a T. I expect every shit test and ace it. The plots, the ploys, the sexual waltz, the push and pull and LMR. It all makes sense.

I had a girlfriend for over a year and frankly, by the end I felt nothing. The feigned emotions, guilt-tripping tears, coy attempts at inspiring jealousy. All a farce. The mystery feels like it's gone and it's never coming back. When I really analyse it, I know things can never return to the boyish infatuation I once had. Coming home and collapsing on my bed in what I thought was love.

It's all been reduced to science. To pros and cons. To transaction. I am truly disgusted with the way the world works. I have lost through gain. I walk around town, I approach girls at bars and clubs, I hang around with my boys and talk shit but I'm truly unhappy. There is a deep seated disturbance in me that I can't shake. It's like the beast I once loved has been stripped raw and I can see its organs machinating and toiling. Everything is shrouded in apathy. The world has embittered me. Women cheating. The predictable AF/BB. People say TRPers get a sick pleasure of sorts but actually it's a displeasure in realising that it works so well. On my cycle to uni I dream momentarily of weaving into the oncoming traffic. It's almost overwhelming. But I don't. It doesn't come from a place of depression, but from pure disgust.

I have everything-- a great setup, boyishly handsome charm/looks, great friends and the best family that I am so grateful for. Yet all I want to do is.. walk away. I am not happy and I was happy before I knew what TRP was, even if that happiness was misplaced. Perhaps it's not worth it.


[–]wawakaka 113 points114 points  (2 children)

If you were happy you would not have needed or found the Red Pill

Obviously something was off and you sensed it

Happiness isn't infinite to me it sounds like you have become a master at this game and you are now bored

You also have the advantage of being good looking which makes things easy for you unlike an average dude who needs to rely on game to succeed your looks are like a cobra hypnotizing it's prey

Time for a new game in life become a master at something else

[–]Davidskylarkk 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Dude has a point here..Something made you unhappy before you found this, now your unhappy again.

Seems to me the new toys to play with only distract you from being miserable for a little bit. You can keep finding new toys or actually get to the bottom of why you are miserable. Maybe talk to a professional...

[–]Gozsayin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude is 6'1 of course he's mastered game after reading the redpill. But the Op should know with great power come great responsibility

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T 132 points133 points  (2 children)

Why are you upset at barely enlightened apes for being barely enlightened apes?

You need to embrace your inner ape.

[–]NewBoomAction 27 points28 points  (0 children)

So much wisdom in this post.

Every animal in the animal kingdom was born to chase its mission.

Find something OP. Chase it. Breathe it. Become obsessed with making it a reality.

I think you do not have a clear mission hence you're wandering through life.

[–]Schhwing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. It’s a little bit of a cry post. If the TRP takes joy out of life/pick up, don’t do it. It’s just here to explain why things are the way they are.

[–]Morphs_ 32 points33 points  (3 children)

You're not in the acceptance stage yet, but you're getting close: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1x0gln/the_five_stages_of_red_pill_and_how_to_read_rtrp/

You're in the depression stage, right before things will clear up once again. I think you're still a bit hung up over your gf. Also, if TRP is the cause of your 'depression' that means your false sense of happiness was based on being in a relationship with a woman. That should NEVER be the prerequisite of happiness. You should be happy by yourself, and whatever woman you're in contact with, gets to share your happiness. This can be as plate, FwB, LTR, whatever.

It's all been reduced to science. This is something you do yourself. Pour some passion in it. Live, enjoy the process. When I have sex I try to do it with the most passion possible, as if it's my last fuck on this planet.

Last year was pretty tough with a BPD gf, I was living in redflag-land, going shit paranoid. Now that LTR is over and I'm living the life.

Also, it's good to take a step back from TRP from time to time. The stuff here is pretty harsh and exposing yourself to it 24/7 can be a mindfuck. I've had this too last year. I took some time off, but still digested a lot of the material. Now I'm back and I'm reading stuff in a much more peaceful manner. That said, right now I'm immune to stuff like being cheated on, simply because I'm not in a relationship. It's awesome.

And like the rest said, build your life. See your friends, exercise a lot, read a lot, get some cool hobbies, start a business. There's too much cool stuff in the world waiting for you.

[–]grunge022 6 points7 points  (2 children)

This. TRP can be a huge mindfuck. It's good to take a step back and avoid trp for a bit. OP, try to focus on a hobby that's not impossible but will give you a challenge and help you grow to be a better version of yourself. Eventually you will accept reality and start seeing the good in the world where you can find true happiness. I recommend reading Jordan Peterson's book 12 rules for life

[–]Jubby_Todd 0 points1 point  (1 child)

By taking time off you mean stop trying to get laid?

[–]grunge022 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't make getting laid the goal. Your main goal should be improving yourself. Your odds of getting laid will then become better as a result, but that shouldn't be an excuse to avoid gaming women in general.

[–]Shakedaddy4x 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Sounds like you need some hobbies, bro. Find things that you love and give life meaning. Start reading some badass novels. There's a ton of great recommendations on r/books, shit that's changed my life. Also are you still lifting? Just making sure. Lifting and exercise in general helps a shit-ton with mood and a general sense of well being

[–]Archergold88 3 points4 points  (3 children)

What’s your recommendations on some badass novels?

[–]PB0034 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rogue Warrior

[–]read_if_gay_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most of the books on Jockos Podcast are pretty sick.

[–]Shakedaddy4x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends what you like... The Alchemist, Dark Tower series come to mind at the moment. You could make a post in that sub too, and get fantastic suggestions based upon your preferences

[–]McVaghunter 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Your ignorance-based happiness wouldn't have lasted; a shitload of happy monogamous men are getting fucked over by their lovers everyday, just like that, slapped back to reality. At least you slapped your ow, self back to it instead of learning the truth years from now when your wife suddenly decides she wants to find herself (AKA going in a dick sucking spree) and strips you away of you money and takes your children away from you.

You need a real mission. Life is not about women and pussy. Pussy is nothing, a warm lubricated hole you stick your dick in to release your sexual desires and get back to whatever important shit you were doing first.

TRP goal is simple: It teaches you how to get more pussy using less time, money and effort, in order to invest these three elements perusing your real mission. You do that by looking your very best (High SMV) and by approaching women efficiently (Game).

[–]TheStumblingWolf 8 points9 points  (1 child)

The wind blows, gravity pulls things, and human nature is human nature. It just is. It's neither positive or negative. What you do with that knowledge is up to you. Choose to use this knowledge to reach your goals.

[–]flowrider00 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well said. It's exactly the same as the Buddhist story of a man out hiking. He is so unfocused, he slips and falls off the edge of a cliff. He reaches up and grabs hold of a branch peeking through the cliff wall, the only thing to hold on to.

He knows the branch will snap soon because he feels it straining. He gets angry and shouts at the world for being ugly. For being cruel. "How can the world be this cold?"

The last thought in his head before the branch snapped was hatred for the branch, the world for not saving him and himself.

Another man falls off the cliff and grabs a similar branch. He looks around him and notices the sun glowing, the heat warming his face. Birds sit perched on the treeline below and he thinks to himself "How lucky am I to die in such a beautful place?" and he considers how lucky he was to live this long.

The last thought in his mind before he falls to his death is appreciating the beauty of the world and counting his blessings.

We are all going to die eventually.You can live as either man. The only thing that changes is how you look at the world.

[–]htbf 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You deny it and that's a very cliché symptom, but you are depressed. You are not at "I want to end it" depressed (even though you clearly have those thoughts) but you are at "wha'ts the fucking point" depressed.

You will learn to appreciate what women have to offer and you will learn to appreciate that not all women offer it the same way and not all women have something to offer to to start with this. You will understand that just because you thought things were one way and they are another doesn't need to have be so difficult for you.

Also, you are focused, like way too many of us and me included way too much on women. We keep repeating that women have to be a side-thing to an otherwise full life but we struggle to internalize that in a world where we don't have to fight for anything and most of our needs are cared for. But still, you need to build a journey, one that shakes you and it's your duty to yourself to do that.

Don't settle for your current environment, don't be a sheep, don't accept things you find unacceptable, don't close your eyes at injustice and misery, don't ignore your deep desires, don't let anyone dictate you your own story and go write it.

The world is a beautiful canvas. Do whatever you want with it. One day at a time.

[–]Barks95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this answer.

[–]FuriousMouse 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I get the feeling that you consider your "worth" based on external validation you get from girls. And since you can control the validation you get from girls you feel like your life is pointless.

It's like someone who entered a cheat-code into a computer game and is now playing as an immortal all-powerful god. After a while you understand that the joke is on you still playing that pointless game.

The next RP thing to realise is that life is not about fucking girls or even about girls at all. Your life is about you.

I know this may sound weird but "prepare to die". One day, hopefully in the distant future you will die. What do you want to have achieved in life then?

Read the Greek philosophers, get a good degree and a good work. Keep your mind sharp and deepen your life by doing voluntary charitable work. You may have mastered girls but you still haven't mastered the workplace social dynamics. That's another interesting animal.

You're 22, you have your life ahead of you and you already have a good start. You have already mastered what most men struggle with most of their lives. Now move on to the next challenge and be happy.

[–]Barks95[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your analogy at the start makes a lot of sense.

[–]FlyingSexistPig 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the 5 stages of grief, you're in stage 4, depression. Next is acceptance, the final stage.

[–]bob13bob 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You don't need to plate girls, find a good girl and commit. Many young me in here foolishly try to score girls, spend that energy and ambition towards building your life instead.

Committing to one girl of course makes you open to heartbreak, but HTFU. sometimes it'll take a few tries to find the right one.

[–]wkndatbernardus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd say your definition of happiness needs a little tweaking. Aristotle insists that happiness isn't a state of being, emotional or psychological, but rather habitual virtuous acts. In other words, moods come and go (especially with women;-) but what endures is the consistent practice of noble activity. We are, to a great extent, our actions so, becoming excellent in a field of human endeavor is the key to unlocking your well being/happiness/flourishing.

[–]daveofmars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You need a purpose greater than girls.

[–]resnine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Find new challenges, life is full of them. Challenges, although difficult, actually give one a sense of true accomplishment. Maybe you feel that the thrill is gone because you can game. But this is only one facet of human existence. You're 22 and the world is vast, male/female interactions is only one aspect of the world. Once you face one problem, accomplish it, a new door opens a library of other facets of life. It's like a video game or movie, you got to learn how it all works to master it/understand it (be controls, or the plot), and you got to see how it all ends, you have only just begun.

[–]Soderbergh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This new knowledge isn't something you extract happiness from. Plus happiness isn't that great of a goal - its fleeting. You will achieve a joyfulness in life as you realize this great game we play is full of great times far surprising your boyish insecure notions of love.

[–]Fm661 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Find your mission and work on it, keep achieving and moving forward. As with Mersault in the stranger you realise the absurdity of it all... what are you going to do about it? Life is absurd and it’s a fundamental thing we need to get to terms with.

[–]Deep_freeze202 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So what is your mission? What purpose do you have outside of women? Sounds to me you're bitching about not finding fullfilment in relationships now that you understand how things work.

For fucks sake you're free if you want to leave then leave, do what you want to do, live the life you want to live that's the whole fucking point isn't it.

[–]StinkyDiaper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I really analyse it, I know things can never return to the boyish infatuation I once had. Coming home and collapsing on my bed in what I thought was love.

Those feelings used to be healthy and encouraged. With unchecked female hypergamy, however, it's no longer wise to follow such feelings for every girl you're interested in.

[–]iqbal002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

just post again when you pass this stage and feel happy swallowing the pill , you will be a good "field report" for the new TRPers

[–]InformalCriticism 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't imagine taking the red pill before I did, so add salt when needed:

  • It always sucks lifting the veil from your eyes.

Knowledge is saddening sometimes. This is one of those times. It can also lead to anger (it did for me).

  • Apathy is a tool, but like most tools it can be used to benefit or harm.

Apathy came easily for me at your age. It is actually a pretty useful tool in spinning plates, but it doesn't sound like that's your goal.

  • Value, self actualization, meaning, all come with time and experience; neither is sufficient without the other, and both are necessary.

You need to meditate and reflect on your core. The more you understand what you value, the more easily you can dismiss and pity those HBs who have nothing to offer you. What you'll find is once you progress in life and all the shallow females around you understand their time is running out, and they need to bring something to the table, they will start to separate themselves from the pack in desperate attempt to salvage their future. That is, some do, some don't.

What I found is that no matter your age, the most intelligent, the most capable, and most "lovable" females know early that relationships are transactional, and they look for older men, that's where time comes in. It might suck now, but you still get to have fun in your youth with the knowledge that even more comes to you with age.

Work on your social skills, your chosen profession, take care of yourself (it matters), get a good group of close friends, and the rest will fall into place.

Just don't stop putting forth your best effort, and you will summit a mountain to enjoy the view.

You might learn to enjoy females for what they are in time, but give yourself the chance to experience them before you give up entirely.

If none of that rings true, or you try it out and it works, you would be one of the finest examples of MGTOW the world will witness, and that's something to strive toward in and of itself.

[–]GunPostal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You haven't reached the ACCEPTANCE part of the Stages of Grief.

Forgive the women for being women but do not forget.

What you are feeling is the withdrawal symptoms of the FUN of chasing girls, losing its effect in you. You need to have a new type of fun or a mission or goal in life that is bigger than you.

Once you get that figured out, make use of all what you learned in TRP to make it happen. You can use the women in your life as an inspiration, an ally or a personal help to achieve them.

[–]Nonstopas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every man must have a mission, something he breathes trough, something that makes him wake up in the morning.

At first perhaps that mission was TRP for you, but now, since you finished it and got good at it, you have to find another mission.

Being busy is the only way to escape the mental state of unhappiness, get rid of the word happy, you will never be happy forever, it comes and goes, just embrace it. Find your true mission, find a goal, and fight for it.

[–]cdogg75 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You need to find a purpose in your life. To date it sounds (like most men at that age) you have spent too much time investing in women and relationships. Spend some time finding out what makes you happy, and explore it more, deeply. Life isn't about getting laid. Once you find what gives you meaning in your life, having a companion ( in whatever form you choose,eg: multiple plates) will compliment your life. Giving her anything more than that is a fools errand.

All the greatest men in life are not admired for their chasing of pussy. What do you want to be remembered for?

[–]trppr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Soooo don't make your life about banging girls.

Pretty fucking simple concept.

You sound lazy and entitled, and are probably used to getting things easily without doing much work throughout your whole life.

Well now you have to work...at executing on the simple concept that is complex in application. Find your mission, go to the deeper levels of your psyche and pull out your existence from the depths of shit its trapped underneath. The problem with having things come easy is that when you have a real challenge you are ill prepared to deal with it. So just be prepared for things to be difficult, and change your paradigm to accept hardship. Of course you are contemplating the easy way out, work is hard!

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It takes some time, but down the road you will see clear as day how this isn't about the ugliness of the world itself, it's about the loss of something beautiful you used to mistakenly believe in. A bit like childhood ending, it's a sad thing if you saw yourself as a child and now that's forcibly gone. At least with childhood, most of us can't wait to be adults already, we look forward to it. Nobody looks forward to finding out how girls instinctively mess with your mind and how pathetic we're all trained to be in response.

When that next-stop hits for you, you can look forward to relaxing a lot. The world will turn even more beautiful to you than it ever was in fake blue pill fantasy. You will see its tear-jerking fragility and the beauty of the overall game. Even if here and there it's being mean to personally you, the overall game is charming, and it is the opposite of nihilistic in the way it affirms life itself - not an individual man or woman's ego.

[–]dthlist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be happy you ever got that, many of us are here because we got nothing at all from women...

[–]master_beta89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have discovered that finding “everlasting love” with a woman is not a mission in life and you have become sad because the “trophy” you were searching for is not really an award / fill you with all the validation you were desperately seeking.

You will find that a fulfilling romantic relationship is an excellent accessory to a fulfilling life. Pursue your curiosities, pursue your goals and interests.

If you happen to have a lovely lady by your side while doing this - tremendous. But if you’re doing it right, you won’t need a lovely lady, and that’s when they’ll turn up in droves.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The mystery feels like it's gone and it's never coming back

Yes. No mystery, and no delusion of "happily ever after". It's painful to lose that now. You feel like you lost something.

You have just found out Santa Claus isn't real, and you've saved yourself a lifetime of stored up misery when your darling virgin turns out to be a whore who divorcerapes you.

I am truly disgusted with the way the world works

The fairy tale has ended, but reality is still pretty good. Better even. It takes time to adapt to it though.

The world has embittered me. Women cheating. The predictable AF/BB. People say TRPers get a sick pleasure of sorts but actually it's a displeasure in realising that it works so well

Build yourself for yourself, rather than a dependence on women and their approval. It's different but better.

I am not happy and I was happy before I knew what TRP was

You were happily deluded and setting yourself up to be a good little wageslave before the system chewed you up and destroyed you. This is better.

[–]4nt43us 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Came a bit late but hopefully you still give this a read...

First you have to understand that the purpose of life is not to pursue or feel happiness. This is a massive fallacy perpetuated by media. Happiness and the pursuit of happiness is not the purpose of life. You should not strive to accomplish things because they make you feel happy. Why? Because happiness is a fleeting emotion. Happiness will not get you through the tough times, the hard years at work, push you to do the extra set, make you challenge yourself. It will not force you to think critically. Therefore, the fact you feel unhappy is not the end of the world. Happiness is a mere fortunate byproduct when you pursue you life goal.

This brings me to the purpose of life, to pursue some type of meaningful goal attribute to improving oneself or ones society. It seems you have achieved your goals in life and not made the effort to take the finish line that step further. You cannot just cross the finish line and then go, "hmph that it's, I've won - what next?". You have to push the finish line further and never reach it throughout life.

If you are having a hard time defining your goals you need to spend some time with yourself and reflect on what is important in life. It refreshes me to realize that we all die one day. One day I am going to die and cease existing - am I really pursuing my life goal?

The world depresses you? Do something about the world then, educate, teach.

Also I warn you to be careful of subscribing to another philosophy, i.e. the red pill, without giving it critical thinking yourself. If you do it is just as bad as when you subscribed to the beta- blue pill philosophy your entire life. Not everything about the red-pill is correct, it is an evolving philosophy just like everything so don't just take everything for face value. All the best.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Social and sexual interaction should not be the focus of your life. Art, philosophy, altruism, skills, craft; aim for these and build a man of substance not a stud horse.

[–]MarkJohnPaul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright man, hear me out. You seem clever - that coupled with your looks make things easy for you. The lack of challenge is leading to boredom, which makes you want to seek more difficult choices to make. Take my words with a grain of salt, but I think you should branch out and experience some new places. You're 22 and in college. There are plenty of opportunities to study abroad. After you graduate and you hop into this rat race you'll rarely ever get a chance like you have now. Don't use your time in college wisely, instead use it to go do something awesome. Hit up Fiji, Korea, Italy...idk whatever suits you. Never stop TRP grind and mindset but just take a vacation or something and enjoy yourself at 22.

[–]zboo1h 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The world is disgusting and brutal and unfair and horrible, my dude.

There is no choice but to become a deadly warrior and fight back.

Stop whining, happiness is for children.

[–]StickguyMB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like you can find some sucess for yourself with both a career and social stuff. Magbe try doing something that has to do with entertainment? Not a Hollywood caliber thing, but just something smaller and more simple

[–]Uberfeedus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

everything that happens is natural in this world. no need to be disgusted by nature. do all the trees in the forest gross you out?

[–]TheRedPrince99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once you become a Chad, I think you’ll be fine

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's all been reduced to science. To pros and cons. To transaction. I am truly disgusted with the way the world works.

Then you don't understand enough of how it works. You're only on a shallow level of it still.

Keep going. There are many more layers to this onion.

[–]tumult0us4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe don’t live so selfishly and try to help out others? In this community, or with any other social issues where you might have an advantage. There’s no shortage of men and women looking for a chance at a better life. I can’t describe anyone on paper with a better set up in life than you.

[–]1kick6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the beast you once loved has been stripped raw...find a new beast. This is the problem with trying to take the pussy off the pedestal whole simultaneously making pussy your primary hobby.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss."

That what you want?

The gift of reality is a good thing.

[–]shockinghillaryquote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting post. Redpills and blackpills definitely do away with the Unicorn / love / NAWALT fantasies of Bluepillland... but I still see value in women, companionship despite all that.

[–]waynebradysworld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just wait until you find out the truth about Democrats, Communism and Jews. 👌🏻

[–]jeantomic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AWALT.. don't hate women for what they can't help but doing.. you don't have to be disgusted just open your eyes

[–]Schhwing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t forget that girls are innocent in their behaviour. That their behaviour is natural selection at play. It’s not their fault they act the way they do, which is why they are fascinating. If it were calculated and spergy it would be depressing, but it’s not. It’s instinctual.

I honestly think you need to get off TRP and game and move into basing your behaviour with women from a spontaneous, intuitive, feeling position in the moment. That might bring joy/ fascination back into your pick up.

[–]frankreyes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your happiness was not real. Welcome to the real world, Neo.

[–]PatnarDannesman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you not feel disgusted by it before.

[–]RealBiggly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

MGTOW ol son, MGTOW

[–]maxgearftw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, what a luxury problem.. I just started my journey..

Keep banging those sluts. Keep improving.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

‘In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any stupid hoe's pussy. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.’

[–]eaeulis -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

sounds like the T is low

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

IT'S ALL BLOODY FUCKING HELL, AIN'T IT, MAN?