I am a 22 year old university student, 6'1 and handsome with a good physique. Since digesting TRP and it's advice, my life has ostensibly improved by most measures. I fuck hotter girls, more girls and I have my game down to a T. I expect every shit test and ace it. The plots, the ploys, the sexual waltz, the push and pull and LMR. It all makes sense.
I had a girlfriend for over a year and frankly, by the end I felt nothing. The feigned emotions, guilt-tripping tears, coy attempts at inspiring jealousy. All a farce. The mystery feels like it's gone and it's never coming back. When I really analyse it, I know things can never return to the boyish infatuation I once had. Coming home and collapsing on my bed in what I thought was love.
It's all been reduced to science. To pros and cons. To transaction. I am truly disgusted with the way the world works. I have lost through gain. I walk around town, I approach girls at bars and clubs, I hang around with my boys and talk shit but I'm truly unhappy. There is a deep seated disturbance in me that I can't shake. It's like the beast I once loved has been stripped raw and I can see its organs machinating and toiling. Everything is shrouded in apathy. The world has embittered me. Women cheating. The predictable AF/BB. People say TRPers get a sick pleasure of sorts but actually it's a displeasure in realising that it works so well. On my cycle to uni I dream momentarily of weaving into the oncoming traffic. It's almost overwhelming. But I don't. It doesn't come from a place of depression, but from pure disgust.
I have everything-- a great setup, boyishly handsome charm/looks, great friends and the best family that I am so grateful for. Yet all I want to do is.. walk away. I am not happy and I was happy before I knew what TRP was, even if that happiness was misplaced. Perhaps it's not worth it.