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I've been destroyed and am new here. (self.asktrp)

submitted by fuckedest

This is probably the worst thing you'll read today. I hope you all can offer man to man advice. Please. Sorry if this kind of post isn't allowed here.

Dated her 10 months. I loved her because she was wholesome, a good mother to her little girl, and so easy to trust that I never had jealous feelings. Early Feb this year she dumped me. Two months where she "needed space." Excruciatingly I gave her the space, and saw her every week or so when she'd reach out. We'd hang out, have fun, hook up. I followed the no contact rule as advised by coach corey wayne, and slowly got her back. A month ago, end of March, she turned around so fast I got whiplash. Wanted to get married, have babies, move in together. One month later, still great.

Yesterday I ask her some questions that have been weird paranoid feelings.

Over 14 hours of marathon pulling teeth, I finally get the "whole" truth.

The entire duration of our relationship she was seeing her ex, approximately weekly.

Since early January (one month before our break up) she has been escorting. So far she's been with, by my calculations, 80-100 clients in those months.

She told me that was what happened, but that she'd stopped and since this month, since she turned around, there hasn't been any.

When she fell asleep I took her phone and unlocked it. Password was my name. She's been with 7 or so this week alone, including the very day before.

I've been so betrayed. I never knew this level of manipulator exists. She's the best liar you could imagine, it's terrifying to imagine anyone could hide so much so well.

I feel like the world's biggest sucker. The most gullible fucker ever. I can never trust anyone again.

I am worried I might kill myself. I need support and man to man advice.

Thank you sincerely.


[–]nartiz 171 points172 points  (31 children)

Seems you ignored lot of red flags. There should have been a ton in this months. Man to man advice ? Be happy you didn't marry her and that your losses end now. Don't put the blame on her , she does what she wants with her life she manipulates you only because you allowed it . Time for you to understand the reasons you trusted so much in this person's and to learn from it. Read the side bar lot of useful information for you , put it into practice. That's the hard road, the "easy " road is just blaming her and feeling miserable because you allowed all this shitfest

[–]AncientDragons 31 points32 points  (10 children)

Don't put the blame on her , she does what she wants with her life she manipulates you only because you allowed it .

The blame is squarely on her. OP didn't do anything to cause her to cheat and escort behind his back. Sounds like OP acted in a reasonable manner and didn't ignore any huge red flags. Just because she asked for some space shouldn't automatically indicate that she's a fucking escort on the side.

This is HER fault. OP found the worst of the worst. And he needs to lift, go fuck ten other women (with protection), and get as far away from this lying bitch as possible.

[–]nartiz 12 points13 points  (8 children)

Well I have a different view, What happens in my life is my responsability, can even go on the fact that he wanted to marry a single mother that wasn't vetted apparently enough. Besides that agree totally with your advices. Edit : she was fucking her ex, she was a hooker (escort is a fancy white knight name ) and OP still didn't run Miles away. And it's her fault ? See op comments he still want to "save her "

[–]AncientDragons 6 points7 points  (6 children)

I think he should definitely learn from this to find out if there were warning signs. Or that he gave his trust too easily. Totally agree with you there.

However, this is such an extreme case of dishonesty on her part that I really think he should not accept responsibility for what she did. He should, however, take responsibility for how he recovers and how he learns from this experience.

[–]AWorseManThanYou 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Everything in your life is your fault. Period. Women pass blame, men own it.

He didn’t vet her right however he did it. Fuck, the mere fact he was LTRing a single mom shows his bad judgment. Why is she single? Unless her husband died you can be sure that she’s damaged goods. Single moms only want relationships with betas. If a single mom is trying to LTR you it’s b/c she can smell betadom.

This is 100% his fault. Women will be women. She pursued her sexual strategy to a tee. She’s not to blame for his life, he is.

[–]askmrcia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see both sides to this but I'm more with you. At the end of thy day, op fucked up getting with a single mom.

Her still seeing her ex and being a hooker is just extra

[–]Ganaria_Gente 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You can acknowledge the "owning your shit" part without being such a white knight for the woman.

They're both responsible for their own respective actions. You're suggesting we shouldn't hold women responsible for their actions, which I disagree

[–]AWorseManThanYou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. I merely don’t give a shit about her. Nor should you.

So what if she’s a horrible human? Not our concern. Now stop looking to “you go gurl” to another man and instead help him keep focus on himself.

Nut up and own your life.

[–]AncientDragons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's not to blame for what he does with his life. That part is true. That's on him.

However, she is to blame for her bad decisions and the destruction of their relationship. She made the choices. You can argue all day that he should have known better for X, Y and Z but in the end, she was a human being with free will who made the choice to do bad. And she deserves the blame for it.

If OP blames himself he actually sets up a scenario where her bad actions are his responsibility and they aren't. Only his own actions are.

We shouldn't let her off the hook just because "AWALT." Not all single moms are fucking secret escorts on the side, banging hundreds of dudes. She was next-level deceptive.

[–]MyFavoriteDude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything in your life is your fault.

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. So if you are sitting at a traffic light, and some truck runs a red light and barrels into you and you end up paralyzed in a wheelchair, it's "your fault"?

Ok dude..whatever...

[–]TempleOfIron 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You aren't responsible for other people's choices. She chose to be a kunt. It's not on him. Now he must leave. But if he doesn't leave yes he shall take on the cuck mindset.

[–]egoissuffering 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was OP's fault for failing to see all the red flags and choosing to be with her. No one put a gun to his head and forced him to be with her, and crazy bitches are going to be crazy bitches because that's who they are. You don't get mad at a snake for acting like a snake when you got bit because you failed to have common sense.

[–]fuckedest[S] 7 points8 points  (17 children)

Could you please elaborate on your response? I appreciate it very much but would like clarification and guidance. Especially about why I trusted her so much.

[–]100kmhperminute 42 points43 points  (3 children)

Well to put it easy way, don't take anything women does or doesn't do personally. That is how you can carry on with the life.

[–]dawgsen 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I second this times 10. If you learn to see it as a game, leave your feeling aside and understand that she did what she was supposed to do, it's quiet fun actually. As mentioned sidebar helps and raising smv. The rest will come with time. Don't take it personal, see it as a lesson to never value your own life on someone else's behavior.

[–]kylerosa21 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great advice

[–]TempleOfIron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes but he's not at that level of red pill thinking to understand that. He must hate her and go through red pill rage first.

A man who discovers the red pill early who takes on board the advice, "dont take it personally" is literally not going to be able to get that it's female nature.

The truth is, they are all kunts. Never cohabitate or marry them. But at this stage he's going to have to deal with unplugging and it's not going to be an easy ride.

[–]crespo_modesto 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Probably get checked out too I imagine

[–]LogicalWinner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If a dog shits on your rug, you can blame the dog or you can ask yourself why you let an untrained dog in your home.

Shitty people are no different.

[–][deleted]  (8 children)

[deleted]

    [–]TempleOfIron 0 points1 point  (7 children)

    You're the man-child here believing in Disney-love and now feel destroyed because that love doesn't exist. (That's the bluepill in you dying, but fighting to survive)

    Just lol. So it's okay shaming a man just because he was doing what society asked of him? You become like a woman and shame men for being plugged in. You'll call it 'tough love' but really it doesn't help in this situation. Women already shame men just like you, we don't need more of that.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thanks

    [–]kellykebab 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    The entire point of AskTRP is to provide tough love and straightforward advice. Your interpretation of this as "shaming" is completely oversensitive and antithetical to the mission of this sub.

    OP needs a massive dose of reality, not coddling.

    [–]TempleOfIron -1 points0 points  (3 children)

    If your dose of reality is acting like a woman by all means. Let's face it, women today just aren't worth the effort beyond their pussy. They offer nothing and bring nothing. So when I see "Oh OP it was your fault" I call bullchit. You've just normalised and accepted the shitty deals that women give out. Just because it's female nature does not mean you have to accept it.

    Calling the guy a man-child because he was idealistic about a relationship and hopeful that he was respected does not provide straightforward advice. Most of the advice given here is trash. Of course I'll get downvoted for this but simply because it's purple pill. It's still gynocentrism wrapped up in red pill thinking. Because you excuse shitty female behavior and don't hold them accountable. Instead you place the blame on the man for befalling to such situation. "It's all frame bro" Nope, it's the fact she gave him a shitty deal. And as men we need to be better than that.

    Also, It does not take into account his level of red pill awakening. He's barely unplugged. The guy might need to realise female nature. But redpillers continually accept similar situations as the man's fault. When this sloot openly was an escort and put this guy in potential danger with STDs. No this guy needs to leave her because she was a kunt plain and simple. Stop excusing women on their 'female nature' stop normalising it. They are acting like kunts and they deserve to be hated and looked down upon.

    And contrary to typical red pill (although i think the red pill here is purple pill because you guys still accept shitty deals that women give out) a strong dislike to shitty behavior and an appeal to higher standards without blaming yourself for other people's shitty actions will get you further in life than just "be positive bro. Its your fault for allowing it bro"

    [–]kellykebab 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    You don't get it. No one is defending the woman. But OP can either dwell on what a bad person his soon-to-be-ex is, or he can take proactive steps to prevent this from happening in the future. And the Red Pill approach (and wiser approach in general) is to focus on the second strategy. I don't see anything "womanly" about that.

    [–]TempleOfIron 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Hate is a great motivator for getting over someone. Why do you have to have some kind of zen positive bullchit attitude? Let's face it. The best way to prevent it from happening is to never cohabitate or marry them. But to get to that stage he must unplug.

    [–]kellykebab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    No one mentioned Zen or false positivity either. You really seem to be misinterpreting others on purpose.

    What's more likely, that this guy stumbled across a world class deceiver or that he's just mediocre at vetting and judging the character of others?

    No doubt, OP's hate for this woman will fuel his behavior for the next several months. OP doesn't need reinforcement in this area. What he needs is a plan of action and insight to avoid this trap in the future.

    I don't agree with every last comment in this thread, but pointing out OP's potential self-delusion is part of the Red Pill process of unplugging. Again, your assertion that this is "womanly shaming" is just not at all accurate.

    [–]re1ser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Read about codepedency as well, you possibly have traits of it.

    [–]dontseemecoming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Be thankful you know how and what she really is. Now you can withdraw all of your FREELY GIVEN love, attention and validation from her COMPLETELY. Do not give her any emotional response, be completely apathetic towards her in interactions no matter how much it hurts, you've given enough already. Now go out and find 10 girls who get your dick hard and find out if they are selling what YOU are buying. Not the other way around

    [–]bookloverphile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Really good advice actually

    [–]TempleOfIron -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    "Don't put the blame on her , she does what she wants with her life she manipulates you only because you allowed it "

    Nope. Blame her. She's a kunt. She always has the ability to make better choices as an adult. She didn't.

    Don't excuse them for their female nature. You can not take responsibility and blame for their manipulation. Especially to a man who has just discovered the Red Pill like OP.

    You must blame her to move on OP. If you don't blame her, you'll be a cuck just like most guys.

    [–][deleted] 93 points94 points  (6 children)

    Man, don't SELF HARM OVER PUSSY!!! You're worth more than that! There are other women out there. As you found out this one wasn't such a catch after all. Think of it this way - you GOT OUT BEFORE THINGS GOT EVEN WORSE and also learned something. She would have remained the same lying and cheating bitch, and you would have never changed her if the relationship continued. Start reading the sidebar. Go out, see your friends, do your hobbies, chat up some girls, it's a big world out there. And NEVER, EVER THINK OF KILLING YOURSELF OVER PUSSY OR ANYTHING ELSE!!!!

    [–]KBeer01 39 points40 points  (5 children)

    Man, don't SELF HARM OVER PUSSY!!!

    Thanks, saved me the trouble of writing it. OP, listen to this man - even if you feel like total shit now and clearly don't understand your immense, nearly unlimited value as the man that you are or are yet to become, there is not a thing on this earth that is worth you doing something as stupid as this. If you think you are reaching the end of your rope, you've actually only reached 40% or less, trust me.

    You might not understand this today, but through such immense pain as yours begins the most growth. Trust me, most guys here have horror stories that led us here, myself included. You're in the right place my friend.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 11 points12 points  (4 children)

    Thank you.

    [–]bluefingerblue 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    Tough times have the capacity to defeat you or make you stronger. Good thing is you get to choose which one it is.

    [–]geturcraptogether 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    This

    [–]umnikos_bots 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    That.

    [–]geturcraptogether 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    No, this

    [–]EhzmwGGh 59 points60 points  (8 children)

    Get tested for STDs asap.

    [–]crespo_modesto 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Gotta say, for whatever reason(I wasn't even getting laid at the time-hardly in general) I got an STD test, this one test where they put a dry metal qtip through...(your pork sword) yeah... that one I like drooled from pain.

    [–]3nebder 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Straight down the urethra is what he’s dancing around here. It’s uncomfortable to say the least.

    It’s like the gym. Sucks doing it, glad you did it when you’re done.

    [–]crespo_modesto 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yeah it's not often I get it done haha.

    [–]AceroInoxidable -3 points-2 points  (4 children)

    This is the only useful advice in the entire thread.

    OP, just fuck as many people as she did and you'll start seeing things differently.

    [–]chomponthebit 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    Lol “get tested” “Most valuable advice on this thread” “Go do what she did” Hahaha idiot

    [–]DiggerClam 74 points75 points  (0 children)

    This is probably the worst thing you'll read today.

    Meh, pretty stock standard around these parts. Welcome.

    Your real life starts, NOW.

    [–]LiftOrGTF0 33 points34 points  (11 children)

    Holy cuck fuck. Block her everywhere and never, NEVER ever talk to her again.

    Focus on yourself from now on. Start lifting those weights asap.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 2 points3 points  (10 children)

    I'm pathetic, I agree.
    *edit, I apologise, that wasn't helpful of me. I have always considered cucks the most pathetic thing, and now I am terrified at myself for considering taking her back.

    [–]WinstonMcFail 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Bro. Do not take her back. Do not do it. You have to rip this band aid off right now.. I don't usually give advice in these threads bc who am I to say that someone I don't know should cease relations with some other person I don't know.. But your situation is different. You have to get out dude.. This is a very negative and toxic woman that you are dealing with. She doesn't even respect herself right now, there's no way in hell she'll ever respect you. There's nothing wrong with you for being protective over her.. You're a good person. Thing is.. So is she.. She's just very damaged and dude you will be tempted to want to help fix her.. You can't. Do you hear me? You can't fix other people. You can only fix yourself. And that's exactly what you need to do.. Fix yourself. This requires isolation.. You cannot tame your mind and emotions while your around other people that are constantly stirring them up. Don't harm yourself bro.. Trust me.. I've been there.. You will literally laugh at yourself for caring so much about this situation in a year. It takes a while.. This will sound like dumb meat head advice but isolate from all but a few people you can trust.. Go to the gym, eat healthy, save some money. Day by day bro. Lifting provides with discipline, routine, endorphins.. You need these things. Be well bro.

    [–]zezozio 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Listen OP.

    DO NOT TAKE HER BACK.

    [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I have always considered cucks the most pathetic thing

    But yet you were supporting the mother of someone else's child. How is this not a cuck deal ?

    [–]LiftOrGTF0 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    It can only get better from now on. Just move on and start focusing on the most important thing in life: yourself. Keep your head up, there will always be way better times after times like these.

    Edit: Make the first step NOW and prove your self-worth: don't, under any circumstances, take her back. If the roles were reversed, you'd already be gone for her.

    [–]AncientDragons 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    "I'm pathetic, I agree."

    Dude. You aren't pathetic. She's a fucking monster and she lied to you. You're not the CIA. Anyone can be lied to. And anyone can be hurt.

    What you need to do now is get your shit in order, get stronger, and get past this human black hole. And, count yourself EXTREMELY lucky that you don't have any ties to her.

    Block her everywhere. This is HER FAULT. She is a bad person. You were a good guy and she fucked you over because she is a terrible human being. This ain't on you.

    Now sack up and get moving on what's next. It's natural to feel shitty after something like this happens but you can't let it take you down. She sounds like she has MAJOR problems that existed long before she met you. Be glad you found out before it was a marriage or a pregnancy. You got off easy.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    More please

    [–]adam_varg 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Dude, stop beating yourself up. It wont help you. Acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them.

    Most men, and i mean 95/100 these days, would get fucked over in same fashion and would have same feelings as you do have now. Hell half of them would succumb even after they found out.

    You are already doing good job (all things considered) by being aware a fighting that feelings that are telling you to keep her.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    More please

    [–]MrSittingBull 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Get tested brother.

    [–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    now I am terrified at myself for considering taking her back.

    Yeah, that is the scary part. You should grow some balls and realized she's a lying whore, literally, who has fucked over 100 guys in less than 4 months, and...well, if that doesn't do it, never mind, just go ahead and marry her.

    [–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 67 points68 points  (15 children)

    Dated her 10 months.

    You got off light. Imagine if you'd married her.

    I loved her because she was wholesome

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    a good mother to her little girl

    No single mums.

    Early Feb this year she dumped me.

    You should thank her for that.

    Wanted to get married, have babies, move in together.

    File under "Bullets, Dodged".

    Yesterday I ask her some questions that have been weird paranoid feelings.

    We have instincts for a reason.

    I finally get the "whole" truth.

    "So far"....

    The entire duration of our relationship she was seeing her ex, approximately weekly.

    No single mums.

    Since early January (one month before our break up) she has been escorting. So far she's been with, by my calculations, 80-100 clients in those months.

    LOFL! You hooked up with the Queen of Whore Island! "But I loved her because she was so WHOLESOME..."

    She told me that was what happened, but that she'd stopped and since this month, since she turned around, there hasn't been any.

    Like you should believe ANYTHING that come out of the mouth of that sperm-burpin' gutterslut.

    When she fell asleep I took her phone and unlocked it. Password was my name. She's been with 7 or so this week alone, including the very day before.

    DING!

    I've been so betrayed. I never knew this level of manipulator exists. She's the best liar you could imagine, it's terrifying to imagine anyone could hide so much so well.

    Yep. Be thankful you found this shit out before things got worse, and harder to get out of.

    I feel like the world's biggest sucker.

    Well you kind of are. But at the same time, you were up against a pro.

    I am worried I might kill myself.

    Don't be stupid.

    I need support and man to man advice.

    Lift. Sidebar. GFTOW. Get tested - she's a whore, after all.

    [–]MindFuktd 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    "Sperm-burping gutterslut"

    LOL. Exactly

    [–]fuckedest[S] 23 points24 points  (12 children)

    When I get the chance I'll sidebar. Thanks for the perspective. The insults towards her make me defensive and angry at you. What the fuck is wrong with me?

    [–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 65 points66 points  (0 children)

    The insults towards her make me defensive and angry at you. What the fuck is wrong with me?

    That’s the blue pill in you, dying.

    [–]frankreyes 20 points21 points  (4 children)

    You have two contradicting ideas colliding inside your head. On one side you still "love" her, and on the other you see that she's no good to you. That contradicting feeling is awesome, it means that you are opening your eyes.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

    I think so.

    [–]zezozio 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Beware of the cognitive dissonance. You have 2 states of "facts": you have deep feeling for her (blue pill boy), and you know for a fact she's a lying, manipulative whore. Don't "forgive" just MOVE OUT. NOW.

    Yes, you'll be depressed, yes, you'll miss her (overused) pussy, yes you'll miss her child but you've been living in a lie, this "story" is all in your head. It's not HER that you love but the image you created of her. Move out and go your own way. Walk out of the mirage (you created) and go back to reality: she's a whore.

    [–]frankreyes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    cognitive dissonance

    If not dealt properly, cognitive dissonance can screw people over. Because the natural tendency of people is to make up some ideas to hold both true at the same time. For example, thinking that she's a victim of society and she's not responsible for her actions.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

    In A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance (1957), Leon Festinger proposed that human beings strive for internal psychological consistency in order to mentally function in the real world. A person who experiences internal inconsistency tends to become psychologically uncomfortable, and is motivated to reduce the cognitive dissonance. This is done by making changes to justify their stressful behavior, either by adding new parts to the cognition causing the psychological dissonance, or by actively avoiding social situations and/or contradictory information likely to increase the magnitude of the cognitive dissonance.[1]

    [–]PadaV4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You must realise that this "wholesome" person, you think she is, exists only in your head. The real her is a lying whoore.

    [–]josh474001 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    You got so invested she became a part of you and your emotions were dependent on hers, so you're feeling insulted because he insulted her. That'll go away, will take time but like he said gftow

    [–]MisterRoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I think it's normal. You still have feelings for her, and you want your disney fantasy where the two of you live happily ever after to be true. Once you learn that you can be happy on your own and that you need to take care of yourself you will look back on this and think "damn, I was so stupid and naive back then".

    [–]muddynips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You're experiencing cognitive dissonance from reality not jiving with your beliefs. You thought things were one way, but they're the other.

    The only way to fix it is to adjust your beliefs to be in line with reality. Read sidebar, question everything, and you'll get there.

    [–]ATrashMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What is wrong with you? you are defending a prostitute that lies to you and cheats on you constantly.

    [–]bluesnsouls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    dont worry, i only received insults on my first post and will be grateful for them forever

    [–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The insults towards her make me defensive and angry at you. What the fuck is wrong with me?

    You are/were a chump...like most of us here.

    "Love" is not an easy thing to overcome, especially when we have been shocked as you have. However, it IS easy to substitute.

    Please break all contact with her.

    [–]JacobSnack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Very good advice, you should be thankful for VasiliyZaitzev and take his opinion on board.

    [–]re1ser 18 points19 points  (4 children)

    Hey buddy, I was there and I feel you. It sucks. You invested so much of yourself into her, for what? Nothing. Right now you feel a mix of emotions - confusion, sadness, anger, you still crave for her, you still want to fix it. But you can't. She was never yours and she will never be. She doesn't have same moral values as you. Don't even trick yourself for one second that she does. You've been meticulously manipulated and gaslighted all the way along. She projected and gave you what you want to see. I know that right now you may not rationalize this, but with the time you will. It was not your mistake, and it never was, shes just a worthless human being with no moral values or cognitive empathy that you put on a pedestal and ignored a plethora of red flags. Because you cared for her.

    What you can do NOW, is to go absolute no contact with her. Block her on all mediums, make it impossible for her to contact you. It will be painful in the start and you will be tempted to contact her, but under no circumstances do it. She's a super toxic person and you cannot fix it. Noone can. Don't fool yourself that you can, and if you come back to her, it will just be worse. I guarantee you this.

    Then dedicate time to yourself. Start doing things that you like and fulfill you. Hit the gym. Meditate. Hang with good friends that don't cause emotional rollercoasters. Fill your daily agenda with the things that you like doing. This is extremely important and will clear up your mind with time.

    You will eventually find yourself again and come to a realization that she was never worth your time. Sadness will be replaced with anger, first towards her for being a senseless human being, and then towards yourself for letting your guard so down and ignoring so many red flags. But you cared for her at one point in your life and be proud of that. Be proud for being a man enough to open up to someone and be vulnerable. Eventually with coming on terms with what happened you'll start to pity her since she'll never know for better.

    If you turn this event around you could learn a lot from it. It is a blessing in disguise and probably one of the most valuable lessons in your life, you just don't know it yet. You will develop a military grade radar for bullshit in the future. You will learn how to purge toxic people out of your life immediately. And most importantly, you'll learn how to respect yourself.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    Very nicely said, very much appreciated.

    [–]re1ser 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    No problem. May be worth a look to read about cluster B disorders (especially BPD and NPD) in women.

    [–]zezozio 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    This blog has lots and lots of resources to help deal with post BPD relationships. Raise a lot of good questions too.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thanks

    [–]takethedive 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

    [–]TrueSplendor 19 points20 points  (2 children)

    Pull out. She’s a flaming dumpster. You’re better than this.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Thank you

    [–]MrSittingBull 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I’m leaving this a second time.

    Get. STD. Tested.

    [–]2chazthundergut 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    WTF ARE YOU CRYING FOR??

    THIS CHICK IS A SINGLE MOM. SHE IS A FUCKING PROSTITUTE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

    YOU. ARE. BETTER. THAN. HER.

    FALL TO YOUR KNEES AND THANK THE GODS THAT YOU DODGED THIS BULLET.

    Now here is what you do:

    1. Text her "I need a break" and then total 100% ghost. No explanations, no reasons, no discussions. Delete her from your phone, delete her from your life, and move the fuck on. You are done with that goofy whore.

    2. Read the Red Pill sidebar material. Then read the top posts and their comments. Then re-read the sidebar. Order The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi and read that too.

    3. Lift. Take all the pain and hurt and emotions and put them under the squat rack, put them under the bench press. For the next six months, forget about pussy altogether. Strength is your God now. The gym is your temple, and Iron your holy sacrament. Now get after it.

    [–]recentredpill 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I'm dealing with issues in a 27 year marriage. Just cut your losses.

    [–]Stokestix 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Get tested. Hit the gym. I know you feel hopeless right now and that nothing can help. Believe me when I say time will help.

    [–]Martysteiner 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Dude you just dodged a slut-marriage. Be thankful for it.

    STDs test and you're good to go..

    [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    s wholesome, a good mother to her little girl, and so easy to trust

    Since early January (one month before our break up) she has been escorting. So far she's been with, by my calculations, 80-100 clients in those months.

    Fuck that's rough man. I sympathise.

    She told me that was what happened, but that she'd stopped and since this month, since she turned around, there hasn't been any.

    Obviously you can't believe a word she says.

    I can never trust anyone again.

    You're right not to. But you can still have a great life. Especially if you need very little from anyone else.

    [–]writewhereileftoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I think the lesson here is you can trust a women to be a women. You're expecting you can trust her the way she can trust you, unconditionally. Well tough luck, she a female not a dog.

    [–]hannlbaI 3 points4 points  (6 children)

    I'm gonna start off by saying that I get it. I've been where you've been. Not that I've ever dated someone that's been an escort, etc. No. But I have been cheated on, and manipilated, and it sucks. But, here's the thing. You're not worse off now. I know it seems like you are somehow worse than when you were with her, but that's false. That is your body reacting to change.

    What is scary is that you almost married that lying piece of shit. You should thank your lucky stars that you dodged that bullet. Sure, it sucks that you wasted all your time and emotion on someone like that, but in the end who is better off? What you do now is what defines you. You can either let this ruin you, or you can decide that you are now in a better place and start moving forwards.

    My suggestion is this - you're free and you now have nothing holding you back. Start working out; not to impress other people, but do it for yourself. Change and evolve yourself. Work to be better, and move forwards. Don't stay stationary. I guarantee that 1 year down the line you'll be happier, making money, working out, and living life for yourself. And where will she be? She'll be escorting herself for money. Who wins in the end?

    [–]Retstortion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I’ve read worse here.

    You’ll be okay. Take care brother

    Never return to that whore again

    [–]COORDOORS 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    i believe even the simp subreddits would tell you to run.

    DO NOT GO BACK please.

    [–]Ganaria_Gente 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Funny thing..... Op previously posted on ask men sub. Predictably they locked it

    Bunch of misandrist losers lmao

    [–]xxbigpigxx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I will tell you this empathetically.

    I too was cheated on. 14 year marriage down the tubes.

    Red flags were up before we even fucked 15 years ago, but I ignored because I was beta and I could "fix" her.

    You can't. Ever. You can only ever fix you.

    I came here a year ago, trying to fix my marriage. Read side bar, started lifting. I caught on to her cheating shortly after, and I reverted back to beta and did the pick me dance. It doesn't work. Trust me.

    And for me, it wasn't even the sex she had. It was the lies and betrayal that killed me. The person I loved and trusted stabbed me in the back.

    I finally gathered my balls and moved out. Getting raped by child support, but luckily it is only 5 years. I am MUCH happier now, and even paying child support, I have more money to spend on making me happy.

    I would recommend you visit chumplady.com. It is an excellent resource for people who have been cheated on. Her articles helped me a bunch.

    Kick dirt on the pile of shit and move on. Block her on everything and go strict no contact. It will be tough, but, take it from me, the most bluepilled person that ever was, you can do it. If I can, I know you can. Don't worry about how she will fare. Don't worry about how she feels. Don't worry about closure. Don't worry about getting the last word in or change g her mind. All that shit does is keep you locked into her. Trust me, I know it will be difficult, but you have to.

    If you need help working through this, feel free to PM me.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Man, I wish I could get you some moonshine with some kool-aid right now.

    [–]fifteentabsopen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    [–]Zanford 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    Pregnant? The way she SUDDENLY wanted to get married ASAP after sleeping with a ton of other dudes makes me think she wants to put you on the hook for alimony+child support ASAP.

    You know what to do. Go get an STD test ASAP, and ghost her and never look back.

    If she comes afer you for child support...get a lawyer ASAP and do what your lawyer says, not what Reddit says from that point on. NO contact except through the lawyer. The good news is that the kid is probably not yours.

    [–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Pregnant? The way she SUDDENLY wanted to get married ASAP after sleeping with a ton of other dudes makes me think she wants to put you on the hook for alimony+child support ASAP.

    She's probably pulling this on all of her johns, as well.

    [–]Zanford 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Ooh, good call. Yeah she's definitely playing the part of a church offering plate (heh...plate)....passing herself around to see who coughs up extra dough at the mere hint of a pregnancy. Might be doing the 'I need abortion money' scam.

    Halfway through OP's post I was SURE that "I'm pregnant" was gonna be the punchline. I've read very, very similar stories around here before; chick dumps beta, sluts around, then come racing back with a vengeance when she suddenly needs a cuck provider for her gestating mini-Chad.

    I would bet you anything that the courts and child support agencies do not bat an eye if the same chick goes after several men for child support. Even if they don't make multiple men pay simultaneously, all she needs to do is go after them sequentially. She just needs one of her fucks to be too dumb to lawyer up and actually check paternity, so she just goes after them (in descending order of $$$) until one falls for it.

    [–]Elitevaz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It sucks to find this out. However, you haven't detailed any actual damage. So far as we can tell here, the real bullet hasn't struck yet. You feel like shit, but you can still dodge the bullet it sounds like. You said she is a good mother to her little girl, sounds like that is not YOUR little girl, too. So from what I understand, you have no kids with her and you are not married to her. Perfect! Make sure it stays that way! You can just keep her as a plate for fun if you like or just get rid of her entirely. She must be pretty since she's selling herself. Just make sure you protect yourself.

    About her lying. This is likely what is stinging you the most. You put trust in her that she didn't deserve and she used it to manipulate you. TRP principles can help to explain her behaviors if you apply them to her, logically. How can she do this? - It's just hamster spinning. Her hamster rationalized and twisted her own reality to make it ok for her to do this. This principle has the purpose of letting you know, logically, that ANY woman (usually with the exception of your own mother if you have a good relationship with her) is capable of this. Any necessary action can be rationalized until it becomes ok to do. It doesn't matter how innocent she seems, she will do it if needed. You've likely got a lot of oneitis too. That makes things hurt a lot, you need to see your time with her as having a turn with her, not that she was "yours". Internalize that no woman will ever be yours. You can have a turn that lasts until the end of your life, but she's not yours. The other principles can apply to your situation too and they are there to help you understand her actions, in a logical sense, so that you can appropriately respond. Appropriately responding, is not doing something to hurt yourself. It's getting your emotions back under your control. It's showing her that she lost something special by betraying you, by manipulating you. It's about making your life better for you, not ending it. She is not the only pretty girl out there and there is another, many others, that will treat you with the respect she didn't give you, and enjoy doing it. Craving to do it.

    You can gain control of this situation and make a positive outcome for yourself using TRP, just as it helped you get another turn with this woman after she ended it earlier. Get over your feelings and start making yourself even better.

    [–]daveofmars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I am worried I might kill myself.

    Why? She's not worth it. You can weather this shitstorm. I know you can because others have been through much worse and made it out okay.

    It doesn't sound like you have kids with her. It doesn't sound like you're married. From your post, it doesn't seem like there is anything physically keeping you and her together.

    There were guys who have been divorced by their decades-long wives, racked over the coals, and had everything taken from them from the exact same deception. The bright side is you have a way out and you can continue your life.

    Yeah, your emotions got wrecked, and you're going to feel like this for a while, but get out of there and continue on.

    [–]inhiarashi 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Well if she was polite to you, paid her way through the relationship and was generally a good time, I'd say you had yourself a very good LTR.

    It's a shame she hid all those things from you, but it doesn't sound like you would have been 'with' her if she had told you.

    This is how they justify such actions. To them it isn't betrayal, it is what had to be done to have the life they were trying to live.

    This, in a transparent light with a room mate, sounds to me like the ideal plate. I bet she fucks like a god.

    Best you can do is get away from her and work on yourself. Recognize that it is all on her, you did your best and it is wonderful that she wants to marry you.

    That means your future is very bright, she's not the only woman that will desire to be with you. Enjoy your freedom. Never forget, and never compromise your future for that of someone else.

    You have an obligation to yourself to work hard for yourself first. Become incredible and share that sparingly with those that behave.

    Good luck!

    [–]fuckedest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thanks

    [–]fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    1) You were with her 10 months. You didn’t love her. You loved the idea of what you thought she was.

    2) To many, single mothers are a red flag.

    3) Remember this: When a woman wants space, time, or a break, she is fucking another guy or just about to.

    4) She’d teach out to you because you were the nice guy doormat. The other guy would fire his load into her mouth and ass and send her on her way.

    5) Hmmmmmmmmm. Wanted to get married and have babies? Well, we can easily say that, during her break, she managed to fuck and suck that cock so much, she convinced herself that she “got it out of her system” and can now settle down with you.

    6) Building on point 5, maybe she suspects pregnancy by him, so she’ll fuck you to make it seem like you’re the father, then fuck you with child support that you’ll pay for another man’s seed. Doesn’t matter. Since you hook up with her and presumably kiss her, you’ve been tasting that seed anyway, right?

    7) No. You didn’t get the whole truth. You still got trickle truth. That said, she finally admitted to which cock she was sucking and whose cum you were tasting when you kissed her and licked her pussy.... chump.

    You don’t have to kill yourself. Just stop pretending all women are princesses who are naive, innocent little snowflakes. They aren’t. Even the most innocent seeming bookworm still wants to get (or has already been) fucked by a Neanderthal.

    Next time, enjoy your relationship by NOT turning the girl into an LTR and by NOT pretending you found one that’s different. When you stop lying to yourself, you see the truth everywhere.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Dated her 10 months.

    So really no skin off your ass; 10 months is nothing.

    a good mother to her little girl,

    So you're dating and falling in love with single moms? Don't do this. Not now. Not ever.

    Now ask yourself the following questions: (1) did she spend your money? (2) did she give you a STI? (3) did she get pregnant with your seed?

    If the answer is 'no' to those three questions, you're not "destroyed"; you haven't lost a damn thing. She doesn't owe you anything and you don't owe her anything. Move on.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I smell bs with the "took her phone while she was asleep her password is my name". Although the rest seems completely plausible.

    Man to man, in the future, don't ignore red flags. Your gut has hunches for a reason.

    [–]Ninokun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This is one of those Storys that pops up every 2 or 3 months. at least it hit u at some point some pill is easier to swallow like that.

    Im not sure how much of a Relationship with her u were having anyway, fucked a guy every week. became a prostitute 1 month before break up and now that u are still together she has seen 7 clients this week? also 14 hour pulling teeth marathon, dont do this u dont need closure. if u feel something isnt right u just leave.

    maybe she even got a kick out of telling you all this Information.

    Only Advice i can give u is this one, : a Woman that is genuinenly in love with or attracted to u will try to spend as much as time as possible with, if u dont see that dont call it a relationship especially dont be exclusive. a woman always has time for u. if not ur her beta bux

    [–]stylesm11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Please OP this is a new beginning for you, you just have to open your eyes. If not for yourself stay strong and realize for your baby girl

    [–]stinjoshua 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    How do you red pillers feel about Corey Wayne? As soon as I read "hang out, have fun, hook up" I knew he was referring to Corey Wayne. Wayne has very solid advice when it comes to dating. However, it is more geared to men in there 30s, 40s who are the cringiest of them all. (Guys who have lived three-four decades without ever actually learning how to court women.) Red pill advice is more in-depth.

    [–]Shredderick420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Corey wayne is really goos in my opinion, thus still trp goes more in depth. I still encourage people to read his book. There are many relationship coaches who are quite bolloks and in it for the money, but corey is quite genuine, despite the costly 1on1 fees, but his book is free and so are the dozens of videos.

    [–]LateralThinker13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I loved her because she was wholesome, a good mother to her little girl,

    Stopped reading here. Single mother? ALWAYS PASS.

    http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/11/dating-single-mothers-just-say-no-a-note-for-all-the-single-dudes/

    [–]AncientDragons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    "I am worried I might kill myself. I need support and man to man advice."

    It's natural to be dismayed and hurt when betrayed this significantly. But this was not your fault. This is on her. You were being a good person. Don't let depression take you over because of the actions of a bad person.

    [–]bruiser18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    it's terrifying to imagine someone could hide so much so well.

    Fucked isn't it. Get rid of that bitch, she will suck the life out of you (no pun intended) the way my ex did for months. On top of that, dating an escort? Nah. Fuck that, get out of there man.

    [–]TonytheNetworker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Obviously, you got a wealth of information on here. Now, I'm curious... How exactly did you hear about the red pill?

    [–]Herdsengineers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Some people are master manipulators and skilled at deception. She appears to be one of them. She has just revealed her true self to you. That's all. She's not the great woman she sold you she was. She is, instead, a flawed human just like the rest of us. In her case, very flawed.

    For right now just be lucky you weren't married to her and can get away with nothing more than hurt feelings. Those heal a lot easier than financial ruin and other fallout from divorce, or having to move out of a cohabitation, or having kids together.

    For now, forget about her, and what she did. People do shitty things all the time. Block her, ghost her. This level of deception doesn't deserve explanation or closure from you about it. Just be gone. You never owe anyone anything when they disrespect you, especially this badly.

    Next, start exercising self care. Nobody else will take care of you, so you have to do it yourself. Basics are gym/exercise, good diet, good sleep, and keep yourself good at work. Beyond that, get some social time with good friends or family. Then, work in some extra's for you. A long weekender, vacation away, etc. Treat yourself somehow. Doesn't have to be big. When I need a self-treat, I usually go to the shooting range and rent a gun I haven't fired before to try it out.

    You're the prize, and she just showed you she's not worthy of the prize. That's all that happened. Move on, build yourself into an even better prize and be happy with yourself because of it.

    [–]PhaedrusHunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The good news is you've already been as stupid as you possibly could be.

    Have fun getting smart.

    Seriously, the ONLY way you can actually be dumber is to kill yourself over this literal whore.

    Don't be that guy. Imagine that obituary.

    Average Frustrated Chump kills self over whore.

    Nowhere to go but up.

    Cut all contact and lift (or bjj).

    [–]Peter_B_Long 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Well, you're in the right place.

    Shit sucks. I've been through it. I plated this girl in high school. One of the most beautiful girls in school, she modeled. She had a boyfriend in a different school. We were friends and she would complain about him all the time. I never in a million years thought I could have a chance with her so I didn't give a fuck when I was with her and turns out that she was into that shit. I lost my virginity to her. We were sneaking out at 4am to have sex for a few months.

    She breaks up with her boyfriend. I get STRONG feelings. I keep wanting more and more from her. Sex isn't enough. I want us to be official. I want the whole school to know that we're dating. I give her gifts, poems, I cry in front of her. Tells me that she doesn't want to become official yet because she doesn't want people to think that she's a slut for jumping in a relationship so quick and tells me that her ex is psycho and he would start drama.

    I still can't accept what we have and keep pushing for more and more. Eventually she gets tired of it and ghosts me. I'm heartbroken. 2 months later she contacts me and tells me she's pregnant. She was 18, I was 17. I assume the baby is mine with no questions and although I was freaked the fuck out that I was gonna be a father, I was kinda glad that I now had a reason to have her in my life.

    Through the pregnancy she becomes very cold. I lose attraction and I start talking to other girls. After fighting every day for a few weeks, she ghosts me again. I don't care. I do care about the baby so I text her weekly asking her if she needs anything. I go to her work on Mother's Day and bring her flowers.

    My mom never liked her. I told my mom we were "dating" and she would ask why she still had pictures of her ex on her facebook. My mom didn't like how she wouldn't want to hangout in public with me. My mom just always felt "off" with her. My mom calls me one day and tells me that she spoke to a psychic and he told her that the baby wasn't mine and that she's been sleeping with 2 other guys. My head started spinning. I spoke to the psychic and he told me the same things.

    All of a sudden, things started to click. All of the red flags hit me in the face at once. That one time she hungout with a friend of mine and he tried to kiss her but she didn't kiss back (this dude was huge, he was spinning plates while in an LTR, I'm sure she fucked him). The one time I dropped off her sister at her house and I saw her ex's car parked in the driveway (I believed her when she said he was just parked there cause he was visiting a friend). Her not wanting to be seen with me in public, her ex threatening me to stop talking to his girl after they "broke up", and most importantly, the fact that the due date was 9 months after she had ghosted me and we hadn't had sex around that time. I heard the baby's heart beat, I had plans of proposing to her.

    I just KNEW that the baby wasn't mine. I drove to her work and I confronted her (this was after we hadn't talked in weeks). I told her, "I know the baby isn't mine, fuck you." and I stormed out.

    That was it. We ghosted each other and haven't talked since.

    I discovered the TRP 4 years later, and I wish I had discovered it sooner because I was in an LTR for 5 years after her.

    So yeah, I know how you feel. I was lied to for 2 years and I was very depressed my senior year of high school. I was almost cucked into raising a baby that wasn't mine and marrying a lying whore.

    But you know what, I'm perfect now. I moved on a long time ago and I'm genuinely happy now. I've been spinning plates, I've been making wonderful experiences with friends and family, and I've grown and improved myself so much.

    I'm okay, and you're going to be okay. Study TRP. Take action in your life and put this shit in the past.

    Good Luck.

    [–]OneRedSock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    There's a reason why in Dante's Inferno the bottom layer of hell is Betrayal -- and you're just now understanding why this is the case through great emotional upheaval.

    There will be many things you will need to learn moving forward, but a fundamental one has already been said: you will have to take your new found, first-hand knowledge about the nature of women and use it to protect yourself moving forward. This means accepting that women are only a side-quest in your life. That your meaning of a healthy life does not depend on the whims of an emotionally flighty creature who can change her mind like a light switch can turn on and off.

    You will be able to trust people again, but I guarantee that you'll have a new definition of trust moving forward. You will not give up, but find a way to protect yourself so that your very valuable life is not threatened by selfish betrayers.

    Most fundamentally, your definition of self can never ever be tied into the women you date. The love your looking for does not exist, and many men who thought they found it for a time ended up putting a bullet in their brain.

    Focus on yourself now and your social network outside of anything having to do with this woman. Focus on building yourself up better than before. It will be a long process but TRP offers plenty of information on how to re-correct your aims in life and create a more self-actualized existence that doesn't allow for your self worth to be tied into the women you're seeing. This will save your life.

    [–]AnjaJutta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    How much does she charge per hour?

    Joking bro, time to do the hard thing and work on becoming happy by yourself.

    [–]PofiePofie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Dude I thought this would be a normal cheating story, came to say I’m sorry that sucks but it happens don’t let it beat you up... but holy fuck. She’s a skank. Get yourself tested ASAP man and don’t be sad over this you’re lucky as shit you didn’t tie the knot with this whore

    [–]nwhitey12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Sorry this happened man, I suggest you

    1. Dump her ass

    2. Get tested for STDs

    3. Sue her ass if she had an STD and you contracted one from her

    4. Once you're in the clear get back on the market

    [–]killmenow1187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    At least you don't have herpes

    [–]chim_city 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Feel great this is someone else's problem now.

    You dodged a hand grenade

    edit: I wish this happened to me when I was 18, to learn TRP young. Something tells me you won't forget this lesson.

    [–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    You dodged a bullet. Be happy. Learn from your mistakes move on. Also, don't kill yourself, or one of us will come down to Hell and kill you for all eternity, to paraphrase that marine sergeant.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Lol

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

    [–]fuckedest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thank you. I always respected her right to privacy. Trusted her. Never snooped her phone. God what a treasure trove I found.

    [–]TempleOfIron 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    You mention she's got a girl. Thats not yours? She's a single mother?

    Cut the cord. Get the fuck out of there and focus on yourself for awhile. Your issue is you are feeling the wrath of pairbonding. But there's no going back after this. You know. I know it. It's dead.

    No woman is worth killing yourself over.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Not my child, no.

    [–]TempleOfIron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Mate she's a single mother. The relationship with you is purely transactional. She's locking you down as beta bucks. A dead giveaway is wanting to marry and mentioning babynames.com

    She played Chameleon to you. Led you astray from her devious nature. Now the mask has fallen.

    You see women today are maximizing on their true nature so they do fucked up things like escorting and going behind your back because there is no repercussions. But never mistake AWALT for your gf being a special kind of kunt because she is. Despite hypergamy and female nature, they always have the ability to make better choices. She didnt. And now as hard as it may be, you must withdraw.

    The thing is, you have a way out. You might not know it yet but you're lucky you are not going to be tied down to a sloot that lies like fuck to you. Imagine if you found this out when you had a kid with her and married her? You found out her true nature fairly early.

    I know it's going to be rough but you have to do this for yourself. The emotions will hit you like waves but as the oncoming tide batters you, which will give you strength and you'll be better off in the long run.

    [–]BurnieSlander 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I mean this sincerely- Congratulations. You’ve taken the rite of passage into reality. 2 small points for ya:

    Read up on the 7 stages of grief so that you don’t get stuck in one of them (lots of dudes spend years in anger phase).

    Don’t get jaded. Great women are out there, she just wasn’t one of them.

    [–]fuckedest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thank you. Helpful.

    [–]doctorlw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I won't be able to say anything that hasn't already been said but you have just been given an extremely valuable lesson. This is possibly the best thing that could have happened to you... it may not feel that way now, but someday you will realize how important this experience was in your life.

    You could have married her.

    You could have gotten her pregnant.

    Before finding out all you did over the last week or so, would you have been appalled with either of those scenarios or would you have actually been a bit excited? Now with what you have learned, would you feel the same way?

    This is essentially being caught speeding 30mph over the limit and getting let go with a warning. Learn from it and move on.

    [–]fattybread83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's better to be strong living in truth than to live comfortably in someone else's lie.

    Go your own way. Don't take her back.

    [–]kayfab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You need to start reading the red pill and awake, honestly 10 months, i was with my ex 10 years before she ditch me for a co worker telling me she never loved, we did not have kids but a beautiful house. She told me she never loved me.....

    6 years single MGTOW and loving every minute of it, women are useless and boring... if you have some hobbies you will see that women bring 0 things to the table a part sex for a very limited time...

    [–]1alpha-zach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Geez bro. What a mind fuck. We’ve all been completely screwed by life. It’s doubtless, some guys here have your same story, but found out after 10 years of marriage and a couple kids.

    Life has a way of bringing a man back to zero every decade or so. This is what makes us resilient and strong. This forges us into the man that women want and men envy. Keep your head up. Cry in private. Move life forward one day at a time. You’ve experienced difficulty before, this too will pass.

    Great men are forged in fire, it’s the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.

    [–]MyFavoriteDude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You were taught a hard, but important lesson...that there are some truly evil and selfish people out there. It's a tough pill to swallow, but you need to just go through the pain of truly internalizing that reality and be extra careful with who you date in the future.

    That being said, there is no way to 100% protect yourself from these sorts of things. If you let someone into your life, there is a chance they will destroy it.

    But don't try to get over what this one did to you too quickly. You need to feel it and learn from it and it will lower the chance of something similar happening again in the future.

    And as the other dude said, it could have been so much worse. She didn't steal all your money or put you in the hospital or give you incurable STD, etc. You got off light from a shitty person like this and just move on and be extra careful in the future.

    [–]suxxos -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    Well, dudes act this way too, I have a friend who is engaged but it doesn't stop him from smashing 3 or 4 other girls each week. You just had bad luck.

    [–]YouLoveThisBTW -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Don’t get her pregnant.

    [–]magx01 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    LTR's are unnatural. Female biology is 100% working against the idea of monogamy. The culture you were raised in caused this. Read the book Sex at Dawn and maybe you'll stop feeling this way (suicidal).