*UPDATE*got the 'we need to talk' text (self.asktrp)

submitted by redpillthrowaway1988

follow up to this thread: (https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7m8j18/got_the_we_need_to_talk_text/)

went to meet her at a coffee shop, first thing she say is 'i think we need a break for a month, i need to figure things out for myself'

translation: i want to fuck other dudes and not feel guilty about it

i told her i'm not interested in a break and i'm done for good and i walked off.

Not gonna lie fellas this shit stings but at least i have plenty of time now to work on myself and fuck other women.

[–]jay_jay_man 299 points300 points  (17 children)

translation: i want to fuck other dudes and not feel guilty about it and keep you as a backup safety net if the other dudes pump and dump me

[–]Ou-tis 60 points61 points  (0 children)


[–]Moreofmore 12 points13 points  (2 children)

More of This

Edit:thanks coach

[–]DatingCoach111 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are welcome.

[–]Str_ 13 points14 points  (0 children)


[–]InvictusDO 13 points14 points  (0 children)


[–]DatingCoach111 35 points36 points  (0 children)


[–]RobertTene 35 points36 points  (0 children)


[–]FaderOne 11 points12 points  (0 children)


[–]Compu7erUser 2 points3 points  (1 child)


slow clap

[–]Borsao66 101 points102 points  (0 children)

3.5 billion other women man. Don't sweat it.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–]1kick6 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Gonna be hard to squat to depth with those.

[–]xfactor90 146 points147 points  (6 children)

Great response on your part.

[–]AfterC 43 points44 points  (4 children)

that was a home run of a departure, yeah

[–]thefisherman1961 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

no it wasn’t. he entered her frame by agreeing to meet up and listen to her gab. he should have just called her and had her say it over the phone so he didn’t have to waste time, energy, and money validating her by showing up.

[–]Psychocist 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Better yet:

"we need to talk"
"no we don't"

And not even give the bitch a second breathing space over the phone.

[–]thefisherman1961 14 points15 points  (0 children)

i think if you’re in an LTR you should at least hear her out. she might be like “we need to talk...i just found out i have stage 4 cancer” or something.

[–]Dio_Brando_Joestar 65 points66 points  (0 children)

If u go back op u lose. Trust me. Been in your shoes.

[–]1kick6 65 points66 points  (5 children)

Odds are good it’s not “other dudes” in a generic sense, but one particular dude she wants to attempt a monkey-branch too while keeping you as a safety net.

[–]trpcounsel 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Regardless. Not really worth torturing yourself with this thought. Bottom line is thoughts of foreign dick(s) have been so prevalent in her mind that she's decided to take action (ask for a break). It's game over at that point, period.

[–]1kick6 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I think it’s less tortuous knowing that she wasn’t “finding herself,” but actually being pathetically incapable of taking the risk of being alone.

[–]trpcounsel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree. That's true regardless of whether she's trying to leach onto one new guy, or several. The inability to be alone remains.

Edit: Spelling

[–]thefisherman1961 1 point2 points  (0 children)

or she already fucked him and if he agrees to a break she won’t feel as guilty for cheating

[–]YasserZe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

L bet she met some other Chad

[–]RedHeMan 87 points88 points  (10 children)

You handled it well, make sure to block her on everything to prevent the temptation of getting back with her.

[–]Synacku 26 points27 points  (0 children)

remove/block everything, yessir

[–]AstuteBlackMan 11 points12 points  (8 children)

I personally wouldn't block her. I would let her wonder about me.

[–]_JustASnowFlake_ 14 points15 points  (7 children)

Why? How does that benefit you other than stroking your ego?

[–]MuhTriggersGuise 17 points18 points  (0 children)

stroking your ego

My ego loves stroking almost as much as my dick. What more reason is needed?

[–]NapalmSunshine 23 points24 points  (3 children)

If he blocks her he looks like a chump who can’t handle his break up eloquently. Keeping her unblocked or even not bothering to remove her from friends lists on social media shows how little you care about the situation and furthers the idea in her head that she is the one who lost you. Maintain dignity.

[–]_JustASnowFlake_ 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I see where you are coming from, so I guess there would be a "it depends on the situation" sort of move. As long as it benefits you in the long run.

Block if she is a crazy person

Not block if she is a potential future plate

Am I wrong?

[–]NapalmSunshine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d say default to no blocking. But if she acts crazy or attempts contact, initiate blocking.

[–]Psychocist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he blocks her he looks like a chump who can’t handle his break up eloquently

How he looks to who? Surely the only thing that matters is how he sees himself? You cannot be saying he shouldn't block her because he might look like a chump TO HER? Sounds like a whole lot of investment in her perception of him.. which means nothing and shouldn't even be considered.

One reason not to block is because she might be a potential plate in the future.. but even that is creeping on your abundance mindset. I'd vote delete and forget -- if she becomes a nuisance then block.

[–]-TempestofChaos- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Can still fuck her.

She just is no longer suitable beyond cumdumpster

[–]AstuteBlackMan -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well unlike you im not a simp I wouldn't really be tempted to message a girl if we are no longer talking.

[–]Ivabighairy1 37 points38 points  (3 children)

  1. When a woman says "We have to talk" that means YOU have to listen.

  2. When she does talk, she's setting the agenda.

  3. As men, you never let someone else make the agenda.

You handled it well.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 10 points11 points  (2 children)

The only thing I would add is you don't let them schedule. The moment she is saying "later" you're in her frame.

The best answer is pick up the phone and call her, force her to get it out right then and there.

A woman has the talk for her sake, not yours. She wants to justify in her head what she is doing is right. So don't waste the effort.

[–]thefisherman1961 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you took the words right out of my mouth. i’m shocked and disgusted that more people didn’t point this out

[–]chachaChad 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Standing up for yourself can be uncomfortable if you're not used to it. It's easy to get intoxicated by your emotions.

Try to stay in the moment and be on the look out for irrational thoughts. "Yikes, she broke up with me! I must be unlovable or bad in bed or I'm ugly and nobody will love me." When you catch yourself having an irrational thought, examine it and try and think about things rationally. You have no real idea why she actually broke up with you and it possibly has much more to do with her than you. You'll find someone else and, almost assuredly, someone better suited to you.

Big pat on the pack for keeping your dignity and not getting dragged around the room by someone else.

[–]RedFoxRunner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good shit man. I recently went through something similar. Kept asking myself if it's something I did or messed up on. I gotta tell myself you never know what's going on in the background.

[–]trpcounsel 18 points19 points  (0 children)

You da man. She will be back, 100%, so be prepared to ignore her for the rest of your life. One chance, per girl, per lifetime. She blew hers. On to the next one, brother. Great job.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Next time, you will be smart enough to not entertain this horseshit. Never meet. It’s a waste of time. Go fuck ten other women.

[–]shredzro 16 points17 points  (6 children)

Good job man. Real proud and I don’t even know you. Block her.

[–][deleted]  (5 children)


    [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 11 points12 points  (2 children)

    fuck that. Strangers don't get a spot on your contact list

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      be polite, like you would any stranger.

      Do you really need me to guide you through how to stop giving a shit about your ex?

      [–]shredzro 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Hmmm that’s a good way too look at it. Usually it’s advised to block Incase the OP has the urge to contact the ex.

      [–]BarlieCharlett 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Don't go back, this is a perfect time for more improvement. Good luck.

      [–]CryptoManbeard 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      You handled it well man. Embrace the suck for a few days/weeks, use it as fuel to be a better dude.

      [–]zboo1h 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Reminds me of my first LTR a very long time ago.

      I ended up fucking her in the ass about a month after I walked away.

      Remember, OP, she's anal only now.

      [–]RunawayGrain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Awesome, now block her on everything too.

      [–]Synacku 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Fucking perfect response. Exactly what I would've done. I feel liberated on your behalf! lol

      [–]Werewolf35b 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Haha don't feel.like shit hold your head high. Any other response you could offer would really really make you feel like shit. And believe it or not, that includes whatever you could say to make her stay. You handled it perfectly. She's probably all upset and unsure now.

      [–]saint_raben 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      gratulations dude

      [–]Reformed65 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      OP what did she say to you after you told her you're not interested?

      [–]XT3M3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      good shit bro

      [–]DaddyIssues6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What if she came back to you? Would you demote her to a plate?

      [–]2chazthundergut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Well done. I know it stings. But you can hold your head high, with respect for yourself as a Man.

      [–]mcr00sterdota 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      You the man OP. Go meet other women now.

      [–]DiggerClam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Excellent work. That takes guts and you showed you had the balls.