Yeah, its me. The "bitch", "faggot", "cuckold" and several other colorful names that many of you have p.m. me since my last update in r/relationships.
I guess somehow my story resonated with you guys as I have been sent this link about 190 times.
Look I had no idea what the hell the red pill is or was but honestly some of the vile stuff spewed my way since my post from some of you is unbelievable.
I'm fair game. I get it, I put the post out there and I have thick enough skin to not get offended by ideas or words. Hell some of the stuff you guys have said privately to me and a few that made to the main relationship thread made sense to me and I get why some of you guys were upset.
But telling me that you hope my g/f is raped again while I have to watch is not okay. Now those people may or may not have been members of this community but they sure as hell sent me the links. Like I said, call me whatever you want but seriously is advocating the rape of a woman what you guys stand for? I sure as hell hope not.
Reading some of the articles on the sidebar of your main page has provided me some decent info. I can't say I agree with everything but I certainly think I could benefit from looking at things from a different point of view.
So here is the question part of my post for you.
How do I take back control of my part in her life? I will freely admit that I fucked up big time when this all went down. I felt helpless and hopeless and all I wanted to do was help her and do what it was everybody was telling me to do.
It was a mistake. I should have been more assertive and taken a firm lead in helping her through this. I abdicated my spot as the man in her life even though I thought I was doing the right thing by her.
Please spare me the "dump the bitch" or "lose the hoe" posts. This is my choice and I'm right now choosing to take back what was my place in her life. If it blows up in my face then its on me, I am going into this with my eyes wide open.
P.S. Also since I know that one of the things that sticks in everyone's craw is the cheating (believe me I hate it as well) I can say this. There is a new development on that front. I am going with her again to her therapist on Friday for more info. I'll just say it now. If it was ongoing or more than one, I'm out. No questions asked. I don't give two shits what either sister has to say about it.
Edit: Guys I have been reading and watching video's for hours now. I would like to express to /u/OmLala gratitude for directing me to his article about defeating the enemy mindset. I shared with him why that really hit me hard and this was well before she was attacked.
As to hiding the fact that I was here because they will know it due to my history, I don't really care. From what I've read and seen the reality is that the vast majority of what this is about is self improvement. Sure there is some "women are the enemy" vibes I get, but I honestly think at the core this is about being a better man.
I've really seen some grievous errors I've made in the aftermath of this. I've just got some thinking I need to do.