334
335

Well apparently the worlds largest cuckold checking in. (self.asktrp)

submitted by badbfriend

Yeah, its me. The "bitch", "faggot", "cuckold" and several other colorful names that many of you have p.m. me since my last update in r/relationships.

I guess somehow my story resonated with you guys as I have been sent this link about 190 times.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3e64iy/remember_the_guy_who_dumped_his_fiance_because/

Look I had no idea what the hell the red pill is or was but honestly some of the vile stuff spewed my way since my post from some of you is unbelievable.

I'm fair game. I get it, I put the post out there and I have thick enough skin to not get offended by ideas or words. Hell some of the stuff you guys have said privately to me and a few that made to the main relationship thread made sense to me and I get why some of you guys were upset.

But telling me that you hope my g/f is raped again while I have to watch is not okay. Now those people may or may not have been members of this community but they sure as hell sent me the links. Like I said, call me whatever you want but seriously is advocating the rape of a woman what you guys stand for? I sure as hell hope not.

Reading some of the articles on the sidebar of your main page has provided me some decent info. I can't say I agree with everything but I certainly think I could benefit from looking at things from a different point of view.

So here is the question part of my post for you.

How do I take back control of my part in her life? I will freely admit that I fucked up big time when this all went down. I felt helpless and hopeless and all I wanted to do was help her and do what it was everybody was telling me to do.

It was a mistake. I should have been more assertive and taken a firm lead in helping her through this. I abdicated my spot as the man in her life even though I thought I was doing the right thing by her.

Please spare me the "dump the bitch" or "lose the hoe" posts. This is my choice and I'm right now choosing to take back what was my place in her life. If it blows up in my face then its on me, I am going into this with my eyes wide open.

P.S. Also since I know that one of the things that sticks in everyone's craw is the cheating (believe me I hate it as well) I can say this. There is a new development on that front. I am going with her again to her therapist on Friday for more info. I'll just say it now. If it was ongoing or more than one, I'm out. No questions asked. I don't give two shits what either sister has to say about it.

Bash away.

Edit: Guys I have been reading and watching video's for hours now. I would like to express to /u/OmLala gratitude for directing me to his article about defeating the enemy mindset. I shared with him why that really hit me hard and this was well before she was attacked.

As to hiding the fact that I was here because they will know it due to my history, I don't really care. From what I've read and seen the reality is that the vast majority of what this is about is self improvement. Sure there is some "women are the enemy" vibes I get, but I honestly think at the core this is about being a better man.

I've really seen some grievous errors I've made in the aftermath of this. I've just got some thinking I need to do.


[–]Modredpillschool[M] 274 points275 points  (30 children)

TRP Mod here. Please PM me any usernames and the body of the messages you were sent and I'll be happy to take moderator action. Anybody contacting you, especially harassment, is strictly against our rules and they will be dealt with.

[–]dragontx 51 points52 points  (2 children)

Thank you. OP should also delete this post because everybody, especially her family, knows his user name. It will not help his case if they see he posted here.

[–]Trust_One 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This x1000

/u/badbfriend, delete this post and make another username to come here on. A lot of women like to hold onto the idea that they're special snowflakes so they don't like us much.

[–]The-Ban-Hammer 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Seriously, what true RP person would tell this guy they hope his girlfriend (or whatever she is now) gets raped again and he has to watch? Anybody telling him that has not been enlightened, but is still on the incorrect path.

[–]StrokeGameHusky 68 points69 points  (3 children)

Yes. We don't need more anger stage betas making TRP look like assholes. Get them all banned.

[–]D_Man_Loves_You 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"anger-stage-beta"! hahahaha. Oh man, so true.

[–]tuxedoburrito 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You were in the anger stage once too bro. I think I'm still there, but I don't do posts. I'm coming out of the anger stage, but we all need some grace there. The rape comment is highly inappropriate.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it was a white knight trying to make us look bad as posing as one of us. I can't imagine a RP Doing that. Don't we have better things to do than send those posts? Like go lift or read a book.

[–]StrokeGameHusky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I once was anger stage, but at the same time this sub preaches holding Frame. If you are angry as hell and hate every women in the world, keep it to yourself.

It does not benefit you for women to see/know you are angry.

This sub also preaches, to a lesser degree, to also keep your opinions to yourself. Women do not think rationally, so if you share your opinion, it may not be as well received by someone who doesn't share the same ideologies as you. May start an argument. "Better to remain silent and be thought an idiot, than speak and remove all doubt" (paraphrased)

It does not benefit you to share you opinions/argue with women.

It may very well have been someone who is trolling TRP, but the anger stage is a very real thing. Anger and emotion do not benefit you when you display them. Anger is a very useful tool for self motivation, but keep it inside. The harassment was most likely by one of the newer anger stage lurkers who haven't fully grasped our concepts/side bar. Now we have to damage control.

[–]omgimbackagain 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Im confident you will find it is trolls trying to smear the red pill and not actual red pill users.

[–][deleted]  (87 children)

[deleted]

[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave 45 points46 points  (6 children)

No idea why you feel like you should stay with her

(1) Because his brain is flooded with oxytocin.

(2) Because (as someone below mentioned) the sunk-cost fallacy.

(3) Because he has a very real fear that he'll never get another girl like her again.

No offense, that's just how it is

Straight talk and uncomfortable truths are the only thing that might possibly help him right now. When he says, "I'm right now choosing to take back what was my place in her life" it's clear he hasn't accepted reality. If his relationship was the Titanic, that sentence is like him saying, "I'm choosing to stay afloat." He needs to hear that you can't just decide something like that.

...or maybe I'm a cynical asshole. It's his life. I wish him luck. But I don't think he's on a path to achieve it.

[–]tuxedoburrito 2 points3 points  (4 children)

This is well put.

OP, honestly, think about it. The only time she has shown a real effort in your life recently is when she thought she would lose you. For a year she drug you along while she fucked CHAD and then you play Benny blue pill until you've had enough. Then she comes back with her family trying not to lose you.

You know the rest of your life is going to be like this, right?

We're probably the only men who will tell you the truth. You need to move on. What gain do we have from telling you that? It in no way benefits me to say that, except to help a fellow man out. You came here looking for some advice and truth and that's it, man. Step one, there is no "one." Go into monk mode and find your balls again. we want you to. We want you to be a man.

[–]exit_sandman 4 points5 points  (3 children)

We're probably the only men who will tell you the truth.

That's not true, basically the whole relationships sub told him that he was an idiot by sticking to her and letting himself be taken for a fool.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

They are doing much better lately.

[–]stubing 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ehhh, not really. There was a top post this month where a girl was wondering how to make her husband feel better after seeing a video of her fucking her ex with a bigger cock. The top comments were basically the same as /r/twoX. "OMG. Look at all the slut shaming that still goes on." Instead of making suggestions to help fix the issue.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you are right. "They are doing much better" is a relative thing, you know. If they now give good avice once in a blue-moon, it's progress already.

[–]Diarrhea_Van_Frank 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a spot on analogy.

[–]badbfriend[S] 67 points68 points  (76 children)

As to the therapist, it's not my therapist. I don't have one. It is her therapist and I've been asked to come in. I've agreed to it because I want this new info.

It may be the kick in the ass I need but who knows.

Fair enough about the dumping her part.

Oneitis is a fair statement. Beta bitch is probably accurate as well if I understand the concept.

Honest question here though, how the fuck does one get rid of being a beta when your entire life you have been brought up that way?

[–][deleted]  (6 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Modbsutansalt 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    For those new, here's a guided tour of TRP's sidebar I wrote to help smooth things along:

    /r/TheRedPill/comments/3de5aa/the_red_pill_primer_a_sidebar_made_simple/

    [–]Schrodingersdawg 12 points13 points  (4 children)

    Self improvement is simple. Women have that dumb "eat pray love" shite that doesn't really work, but for OP?

    Eat. Whey. Lift.

    [–]NiceTryDisaster 28 points29 points  (1 child)

    Eat. Read. Lift

    FTFY

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I suppose that whey can nest itself under "Eat".

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]AndrewAtrus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Anavar give up

      [–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (15 children)

      That is exactly what TRP is trying to figure out. Many of us had absent or beta dads, almost everyone had mostly female teachers in elementary school, etc ...

      Deconditioning is a difficult process and it usually starts with a (figurative) slap in the face. In your case the slap in your face was the whole story with your girlfriend. Things that kill your faith in the feminist narrative that you have been brought up with, which tells you that women are infallible, kind and loyal fae-like creature.

      Most people recommend reading the sidebar and I agree there are a few good posts ( this for example) but personally I'd read the posts that /u/Whisper makes.

      The problem with TRP is that it has to try to wake people up. You dont wake people up by calmly talking to them, you have to shout. This does however also attract some people who are just genuine assholes and/or neckbeards who are probably the ones who messaged you.

      [–]badbfriend[S] 82 points83 points  (14 children)

      Fuck me if that long ass blog by reformed Incel didn't hit home.

      [–]rpkarma 75 points76 points  (2 children)

      Welcome. Ignore the idiots who sent you nasty shit, they have not actually swallowed the red pill yet. The fact you're here and reading is impressive, keep going and expand your mind. You'll see it all click into place soon enough, and the world will start to make sense like it never has before.

      [–]mahlzeit 34 points35 points  (1 child)

      and the world will start to make sense like it never has before.

      OP: you have no idea how true that is. Also, you have no idea how far the rabbit hole goes ...

      [–]IVIaskerade 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      you have no idea how far the rabbit hole goes ...

      Fuck, I have no idea how far the rabbit hole goes. I'm pretty far down, and it just keeps going and going. It's pretty insane when you stop and think about it.

      [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      "Michael's story" is also pretty good.

      [–]Modredpillschool 15 points16 points  (1 child)

      Please do take some time to read the side bar on /r/theredpill.

      Some articles of special importance (Aside from the reformed incel) :

      Everything under "New Here?"

      and

      Women in Love

      Men in Love

      Of Love and War

      Schedules of Mating

      [–]Modbsutansalt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      For those new, here's a guided tour of TRP's sidebar I wrote to help smooth things along:

      /r/TheRedPill/comments/3de5aa/the_red_pill_primer_a_sidebar_made_simple/

      [–]CrimsonCapn 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      Please keep reading. I know you feel like your story is unique because you are in the center of it. But it isn't. This sort of thing has happened to countless men before and it will continue to happen as long as we believe the feminist narrative that "women are pure and can do no wrong and should not be held responsible for their actions, sexually or otherwise."

      Listen to this statement. "It's OK for me to physically assault someone because my father beat me when I was a child. Violence against others is a way for me to take my power back!"

      That statement is ridiculous. Just because someone hurt you, you can't just go around hurting others. But your GF's therapist is telling her

      "Because you were raped, it's ok for you to cheat on /u/badbfriend. Sexual promiscuity and disregarding your SOs feelings is a way for you to take your power back!"

      Are you fucking kidding me? She gets to be absolved of all sexual responsibility because she was raped? Am I absolved of all financial responsibility if someone steals money from me? No I'm not. That's absolute horse shit.

      Read more from the redpill sidebar. As you read, things that never made sense before will start to click in your head, just as it did when you read the reformed incel blog post. You have to trust your gut. Just like you knew something wasn't right in river city when your (hopefully soon to be ex) girlfriend was cheating, your gut will tell you when you hear the truth. You will have so many Ah Ha moments. Because it's blatantly obvious when you remove the blue pill shroud from your eyes.

      Please. Keep reading.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Sunk costs fallacy. Logic is sound.

        [–]1CarpeDiem807 18 points19 points  (2 children)

        choosing to take back what was my place in her life.

        Red Pill advocates adopting an opposite perspective of this. Instead of working to be in her life, you resolve to make your own life whole, while leaving the door open for her to become part of yours. It's about control. You have none right now. You have oneitis and it has warped your sense of self.

        [–]Modbsutansalt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        ♂ This is pretty much the most succinct and accurate summation of his situation I've seen to date.

        [–]ModAerobus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Point added.

        [–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 39 points40 points  (3 children)

        OP, can't second what /u/MoreDetermined said enough. Our subscribers messaging you anything is inappropriate.

        We're not exactly popular but we don't tolerate degenerate shit like that. Our main sub has grown quickly, making it difficult to maintain meaningful quality controls (there is no shortage of posts telling noobs to not post/brigade shit).

        spare me the "dump the bitch" or "lose the hoe" posts. This is my choice and I'm right now choosing to take back what was my place in her life. If it blows up in my face then its on me

        Speaking of things being worthwhile to you... with the above quote in mind, you will not get much useful advice. If that is your stance on it, pursue it without asking for advice on doing something against everything we suggest.

        To give you an idea of just how ridiculous it is, here's actually my (only) comment on your very own thread

        She is a string, yourself the weaver & time the irreversible winder of yarn.

        The string is only as strong as its weakest point. In your case, the string broke and that broken section has long been wound onto the spool; the ends will remain separate regardless of how strong you can learn to weave it going forward

        If someone told you that you'd get $10B USD for writing a 50 million digit number with "5" as its 43,851th digit & you accidentally wrote a "7" instead, would you keep writing the rest hoping you get the money? That's what you're doing.

        [–]Modbsutansalt 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        Messaging him advice is perfectly fine. Being a dick about it is not.

        [–]iiMSouperman 14 points15 points  (2 children)

        Honest question here though, how the fuck does one get rid of being a beta when your entire life you have been brought up that way?

        Good question - it's a pretty long and "hard" road to travel down, but the sidebar in TRP has some amazing reads. I suggest you start there.

        Sorry for the messages you received, but you have to realise there are literally MILLIONS of women out there that may very well be worth your time. As they say, variety is the spice of life.

        A lot of TRP newcomers go through an "anger phase" - fury that others haven't "seen the light" if you will, this is probably what you've experienced via messages. Don't read too much into it, after all they are just strangers on the internet. You seem open to criticism, and after your first big post you seemed like you had this all under control. Give the sidebar a go and you'll learn a lot.

        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        OP acknowledges that he has no idea if the ppl that sent him the link were even RP. I'd venture it's a safer bet that they were BP, and were just trying to 'stir the pot'.

        [–]iiMSouperman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Valid assumption, there are still a lot of angry users in TRP though - a vocal minority, if you will.

        [–]Dark_Shroud 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        IF that's the same therapist who said it was good that she cheated on you then it's not worth your time or money.

        This person doesn't care about your relationship or you as a person.

        If you still want to be with this woman after she cheated then at least get your finances in order. Lock down your savings and retirement so they can't magically be drained one day.

        Do not put her name on that stuff. If you get married then only add has as a beneficiary in case you pass away.

        If you buy a house put it in a trust so you control vs some divorce court judge.

        [–]SinisterSwindler 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        I'm really starting to think that therapists are in on the feminist imperative jig too, for financial reasons of course. How can a therapist make money if his/her advice is solving problems? Women do spend more than men. The rabbit hole gets deeper.

        [–]Dark_Shroud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Like the rest of us some are some aren't. I would always be weary of who recommends a therapist to whom.

        I've seen more than a few stories where the women later admitted they picked a therapist that would be on their side.

        [–]Bastard101 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        Go to theredpill main sub. Read sidebar. Lift weights, get hobbies, dump gf, be outgoing. There's more detailed things on the main sub

        [–]arnieschwarz 11 points12 points  (13 children)

        And look into the sunk cost fallacy. It applies here as well.

        [–]Modbsutansalt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        A ton of relationships fall victim to that. I know mine have in the past and it sucks, but all we can do is learn from it and not make the same mistakes.

        [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        Dude, she's showing infidelity, psychological issues, and has did all this in a cold calculated way. Please don't marry her. She won't respect you. No woman can respect a man who puts up with cheating. The problem's only going to get worse. You seem like a good guy and you'll attract another chick. Your journey is only just beginning. Don't sign an irreversible contract and shack up to someone who's already wronged you. You have so much to lose and all you have to gain is a relationship with a cheater who's got issues. Your sister will stop shaming you but she won't respect you for doing what she says. Succumbing to shaming tactics will never get a man into a better position in life.

        [–]GunsGermsAndSteel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Honestly I don't give two shits if you stay with her or not. But I wouldn't, because I respect myself and put myself first.

        Okay, you wanna stay with her? Just keep coddling her and telling her that nothing is her fault. Show her unconditional love. Maybe you can hold that other dude's balls out of the way while he's fucking her.

        The alternative is to get rid of her, lift weights, eat good, fuck a lot of women, do things you enjoy and have a great life.

        But you made it clear you're not interested in hearing any narrative that doesn't involve further service to your Queen. So I say, carry on.

        [–]SexistFlyingPig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Many men, when they first swallow the red pill, go into monk mode. You need some time to yourself to think through things. One good place to do this is the gym. Every time you would have spent time on your GF, instead go to the gym and lift. Stronglifts 5x5 is a good place to start.

        The red pill isn't about being a pick up artist, it's about bettering yourself to make your life better.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Honest question here though, how the fuck does one get rid of being a beta when your entire life you have been brought up that way

        That is the questioned first pondered by most people here. From my browsing, there are 2 TRPers....natural alphas who lost their way and lifelong betas waking up. I think there seems to be a higher proportion of the latter category lately, so you are in good company.

        [–]rokr1292 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Next the girl who gave you oneitis, hit the gym, and invest in you. That's always the start.

        [–]pennypuptech 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Patience, hard work but most importantly self respect. If you don't respect your mind and body how do you expect someone else to?

        [–]Trust_One 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Every single person probably came here a beta. It's an ongoing process to better yourself. You came to the right place if you have that question

        [–]teeelo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Holy hell. I am so happy to hear that you've found this sub and are thinking analytically and putting yourself first.

        Sorry about all the asshats that cursed you out.

        You are worth so much more than how you are being treated.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        That last part is funny not because it's a stupid thing to say, I'm not mocking you. It's funny because this is the whole reason this place exists. Everyone here is here to change, grow, and improve. Some start further back and have more work but everyone is in the same boat nonetheless. If you want to stop being beta, read the shit out of the top posts. Internalise it, understand it, become it. Now this is not to say that everything written here is law, that's the beauty of this place, you can pick and choose what you want to take on board and what not to. Some people have no problem breaking traditional moral codes to achieve what they want whilst others like to go through life doing the right thing. It is simply a meeting place for men looking to improve themselves to share their two cents with other constructive men. I would have probably acted the same way you have a few years back, thankfully I had my moment of epiphany, hopefully you will too.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        [deleted]

        What is this?

        [–]slater2j 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Every single one of us came here in more or less the same situation that you come to us now. Hurt, angry, upset in that every lesson the world has taught you was wrong. Check out my post history. I was you, and I'm still recovering years later, but these have been the best years of my life...

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        when your entire life you have been brought up that way?

        I haven't read through the whole thread yet (which I will do).

        But this is really important: Read the book "No More MR Nice Guy" by Rober A Glover.

        I am certain that other posters have already recommended the book, but this can't be stressed enough. Get the book. The sooner the better.

        Don't be mislead by the funny title. The stuff in it is dead serious. It addresses the "brought up that way one's whole life".

        I had to stop reading after three chapters and take a break, because it was too much. Hit home like nothing else.

        BEG STEAL OR BORROW if you have to, but GET the book!

        [–]RealRational 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I can never read that word as anything other than "the rapists" now.

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

        [deleted]

        [–]deville05 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Excellent username

        [–]aguy01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Now she realizes her limits of how much she can walk over you, so after she lulls you into her comfort zone she's gonna walk all over you and stay just below that threshold where you stand up for yourself.

        Very important. Things will never go back to the way they were.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

        [–][deleted]  (10 children)

        [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        No it's just called dread game

        [–]badbfriend[S] 43 points44 points  (5 children)

        I owe the community an apology.

        I went back through my p.m.'s and I was going to screen shot the rape p.m.'s to the mods here because after reading the sight and the responses I came to the conclusion that those people did not represent fairly or accurately what you guys are about.

        Guys I'm just shy of 4 k messages, not from here but just in general since my first post over on /r/relationships, so it is not an easy thing to look sift threw the messages.

        But I found it and well I'm here to say

        mea culpa.

        The offending posts did not have a link to trp. It was sandwhiched between a couple of other posts that linked up to that thread on your main page and some of the language was the same. But I was wrong, there was no link so therefor more than likely they were not trp members.

        If you guys or the mods would like I will happily delete my post to you guys.

        Now going through a lot of other posts there were ones that had the harsh language calling me a "pussy", "bitch", "spineless" or other stuff but after reading the thread and reading a lot of the sidebar I've just come to the conclusion that this is just the way you guys talk (or at least some of you talk like that).

        However the real kick in the ass for me was that when I stopped and read beyond the initial name calling I read that not everybody was saying this stuff to put me down but doing it to maybe wake me up and see things from another view point.

        In fact a trp member by the name /u/_Big_Nick_Diggers sent me the link and a very solid heartfelt message about my situation.

        In other words my entire post is null and void.

        I'll leave it up to the mods if they want me to delete. Personally I've gotten some really good info from this post.

        Also for anyone who wants to know I will be leaving the job in just over an hour on my way to the meeting with Sara and the therapist.

        [–]wildchild11 13 points14 points  (0 children)

        let us know what happened

        [–]ronkarna 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        I've just come to the conclusion that this is just the way you guys talk (or at least some of you talk like that)

        A lot of folks find TRP when they had been taken advantage of ("divorce raped" or cuckolded (raising another man's child and forced to pay child support for it)) and carry a lot of anger in them (hence "The Anger Phase").

        TRP means different things to everyone - for some, it's a way to get more sex without commitment. For others, it's about realizing your full potential as a man - women are part of that, but it's really about being in charge of all aspects of your life.

        If you read through /r/theredpill for a while, you'll encounter many people that are angry, many people that realized that they suppressed themselves all their life, and many people that have forgiven those that wronged them and moved on. Plenty of bro-science, plenty of "this is my experience, YMMV".

        You have to constantly ask yourself: Is what you're doing good for you. Setting yourself on fire to keep others warm isn't good for you. This is scary, because there is always the fear of "If I'm selfish, won't all my friends and my GF turn away from me?". The truth is that yes, some people might turn away, but being able to look at yourself in the mirror and say "I'm in charge" is good.

        As with all advice from strangers on the internet, take everything with a grain of salt, but try to figure out what YOU want in life. In your reply to your second update post in relationships, you said that you see yourself with a Wife and Children. Ask yourself if you want to marry because that's what YOU want, or because "society" expects it from you. Being miserable in a marriage haunts you for the rest of your life - you're to young to just dive into that. Some people here are vehemently against marriage (the way marriage laws are in the US, the wife gets instant access to 50% of your belongings and can file for a no fault divorce), while others say that it's okay to marry as long as you're in charge of yourself.

        I highly, highly recommend reading No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover. It's a book about men that are always "The Nice Guy" and miserable. It's not a book about women or about putting down men, but about embracing masculinity (which isn't the same as misogyny, even though some people behave like it - anger phase!) and making sure that you live your life.

        I wish you all the best - whether you succeed with your Girlfriend or not, keep in mind that at the end of the day, YOU count. “Use only that which works, and take it from any place you can find it.” -- Bruce Lee

        [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 92 points93 points  (1 child)

        There are 3.5 billion women on Earth. This one particular woman you're with is not special. She's just the only woman giving you anything close to a chance. She's actually worse than most other women. Not only is she a cheater. She's damaged.

        Her rape isn't your fault, and it isn't your problem. You shouldn't have to deal with this. You're not married. You have every right to find a non-damaged woman who isn't a cheater and be happy.

        You're sticking with this one, non-special, inferior woman for two reasons. Sunk cost - you don't want to lose all that you've invested in her so far. And lack of options - you don't think you'll find anyone else or do any better.

        In this case, no woman would be better than this damaged one. But you have the potential to improve yourself and be happy if you own your shit, right now, and start doing the work.

        [–]CrazyHorseInvincible 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        PMed in parallel.

        I apologize for TRP coming and finding you. That's not supposed to happen.

        TRP is a boot camp. We call people things like "bitch" and "faggot" here, to motivate them. But boot camps are for volunteers. They're not supposed to come find people.

        Please realize that however harsh the language, the people who messaged you are actually concerned for your welfare. They told you to "dump the bitch" because they believe that is healthy for you. No matter how much anger you can clearly see in their writing, they are far more angry for you than angry at you.

        They are outraged that someone would treat you this way, and they want to see you fight back. I share this desire. I hope that you will read the sidebar, hang out a while (horrific as some of the things you see might look at first glance), and absorb some things that may help you.

        As a TRP mod, it's my job to run the community... but I can't prevent people who agree with me from sending PMs with their opinions. That's not happening in the subreddit, so I can't police it.

        But don't let it put you off the things here that may be useful to you.

        [–]IWontpayyourprice666 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        But boot camps are for volunteers. They're not supposed to come find people.

        EXCELLENT distinction.

        [–]badbfriend[S] 26 points27 points  (2 children)

        I put an edit on my main post for those interested. I'll be honest my first impression from the people sending me shit wasn't the best but coming here and reading and watching video's has been a little eye opening to say the least.

        [–]Modbsutansalt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        coming here and reading and watching video's has been a little eye opening

        Could you elaborate on that please?

        [–]BigBrother14 24 points25 points  (7 children)

        Get the fuck out, is this real life? Now everyone that is stalking his user profile for updates are going to see he posted here.

        Either we're going to see gigantic backlash at him, or people following his progress (being in similar situations) and then finding the red pill.

        Either way the next day or two should be mildly interesting.

        [–]ronkarna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Funny, I did exactly that (I was following the updates on relationship and was curious if there was more). But whatever happens now - he found TRP. He can take from it what he wants, steel himself and power through - he's got all the tools now, even though not much experience using them yet.

        I think that OP will be alright, if not immediately but in the not-so-distant future.

        [–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave 17 points18 points  (0 children)

        telling me that you hope my g/f is raped again while I have to watch is not okay

        Nobody thinks that's okay.

        Even the person who PMed you that message knows it's not okay.

        It's called trolling. People say things not because they believe those things but because they hope to make you angry. If you actually received such a message, you should contact the reddit admins.

        The person who sent you that PM may not even have been from TRP. There's a subreddit that sometimes tries to troll us, and they've talked openly about false-flags. About a year ago, there were a lot of women in TwoXChromosomes complaining that they constantly received harassing PMs. When the admins investigated, they found the claims to mostly be lies.

        It's so easy to troll, so easy to false-flag, so easy to create fake accounts - you just have to accept that while on the internet, you can't believe everything you read.

        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

        [deleted]

        [–]StrokeGameHusky 12 points13 points  (2 children)

        The therapist took her side. I'll let you figure this one out..

        [–]RemyPrice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Plenty of white knight male therapists would take her side.

        [–]badbfriend[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        Woman

        [–]wont_tell_i_refuse 8 points9 points  (1 child)

        How do I take back control of my part in her life?

        Dude, you don't. You move on and GFTOW (go fuck ten other women).

        It's a hard pill to swallow -- I know from experience -- but there comes a point with a woman where you are fucked. She just doesn't see you like that. She can't. You are beta forever.

        So I'm not saying "dump the bitch", I'm saying she dumped you. And there's no coming back.

        [–]1truchisoft 22 points23 points  (2 children)

        spare me the "dump the bitch" or "lose the hoe" posts. This is my choice and I'm right now choosing to take back what was my place in her life. If it blows up in my face then its on me

        This, here, shows how you are thinking right now, we males give shape to our live by ourselves, you don't have a place in her life, she has a place in your life.

        This is what we call "frame", by thinking this way, you are showing you are inside her frame (that is, her reality defines your reality), and this explains a lot of what happened to you.

        [–]Lipophobicity 38 points39 points  (1 child)

        Screenshot the PM's you were sent. Post a pic with the names blacked out here, and without the names blacked out to the mods here and the main TRP subreddit.

        I've seen too much made up stuff about TRP to blindly take your word for it.

        [–]yumyumgivemesome 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Exactly. The mods will take action against this kind of crap if it is actually occurring. Despite the numerous demands that TRP makes against brigading, our livelihood is at stake.

        [–]CryptoManbeard 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        The reason you will see many people here who post hateful or idiotic comments like that is because they are angry. It's not an excuse, just an explanation. Many of us are here because we made really stupid decisions, trusted women at face value, and then got burned by it. Now that we have a much more realistic point of view in terms of female behavior, seeing a story like yours can be frustrating. For some people who are newer along their journey, they aren't yet comfortable with the truth and so they will get angry when they see someone acting like they used to.

        I had an acquaintance explain to me the other day that he is expediting his marriage to his girlfriend. She has multiple kids from her past marriage, and they are expediting for custody purposes. He is Captain Save-a-ho. I shook my head inside and thought, "wow what a dumbass. He thinks he's being a hero but he's just setting himself up to get his heart and wallet torn out of his ass." I read your story and thought the same. You were being completely blind to how bad you are getting screwed, all the while thinking you were just doing the right thing.

        You're a good dude. You have a lot of integrity and I applaud your commitment in this case. However, your faith in this girl is clearly misguided and anyone can see that the only ending for this relationship is extreme pain. This woman has absolutely zero respect for you, regardless of what happened. And I would bet that if you could analyze the situation closer, you would probably see that trend even before the rape.

        You take back control of your life when you start realizing that you are the only one that will have your best interests in mind. You have to stop putting everyone else ahead of yourself. It's actually unhealthy to constantly put someone else's needs in front of yours if it's a constant thing. There's a clinical term for it, it's called codependency, and you have it bad (I know because I had it and I can easily spot it in others). Around here we'd call it "nice guy" syndrome or being a beta bitch.

        There is no easy way to get rid of the blue pill in your life. The first step is knowledge, which you are going to receive now that you've seen there's a truth out there that you didn't know before. Do some sidebar reading, let it soak in, see how it applies in your life. You'll be angry during this time, because you'll realize you've been lied to your whole life and the things you held dear (being a caring individual for example), mean jack shit, and actually can be a hindrance to getting what you want. Eventually you will come to acceptance. Somewhere along the line you will see huge success in most areas of your life, and you'll look at your story at that point and wonder what the fuck you were thinking and how you could be so dumb. You'll also be thankful, because that event lead you on the path you're on. Your story isn't that special TBH. The setting is a little different because of the rape but the main plot points are essentially the same as thousands of others I read about day after day for the last few years (starting when I got cheated on).

        [–]bubbleki 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy.

        If you would like to do the same, add the browser extension GreaseMonkey to Firefox and add this open source script.

        Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.

        [–]Endorsed Contributorstickfiguresk 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        I don't know that much about rape victims, so I dont know if her cheating was related to her being raped, but I doubt it. If you take the rape out, your story would match a very large number of dude's stories that ask for help here. Though, your situation still doesn't seem too uncommon.

        Her therapist has her wellbeing as a higher priority than yours. The only reason you were informed was because she's giving you the rope required to hang yourself--she's not helping you with shit, just getting some weight off your woman's shoulders.

        She may have been 'reclaiming her sexuality', but it was at your expense(obviously). OP, once a girl crosses that line, she's going to keep doing it. Women have no concept of honor--after she's disrespected you on that level, that is now what you're worth. You can't un-cuck yourself with this girl.

        OP, that post on TRP was made because you're lacking self-respect. The only people that have a man's interest at heart are sometimes his mother, and sometimes himself. Nobody else is going to stick up for you, while five (?) People have stood up for her.

        We have quite a few guides on dating and picking up women and how to comfortably and safely spin plates. Your life can be quite a bit better Tomorrow, if you choose to help yourself. Good luck, man.

        [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (10 children)

        You posting this with your main account that your gf has access to wasn't a smart move.

        I'll just say it now. If it was ongoing or more than one, I'm out.

        Good luck getting an honest answer, if your gf finds out you wrote this it is guaranteed she will tell you what you want to hear (that it was only once) whether it be the truth or not. And her family and your sister will take her side in keeping the truth from you. She cheated on you once that you know of while showing no affection to you, only to "miraculously" start showing affection towards you when she was threatened with losing you. that is more than enough reason to leave by itself.

        [–]badbfriend[S] 16 points17 points  (9 children)

        Hell, I am not a smart man.

        Dammit I only considered the fact of what they would think of me by posting here. I totally overlooked the fact that I just said that I would bail if it was more than once. Fuck me, oh well what's done is done. I can't unring that bell.

        I'll still go with an open mind and hope that I get some truth. fuck fuck fuck

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I can't unring that bell.

        This is important not only in "getting the truth out of her".

        Whatever you will do from now on, you will always be the "bad guy", the villain in the story (in her mind), because you shared your story with others.

        She might not do it now, but I guarantee that sooner or later, she will use it against you. She will use it to hamster. "Yeah I cheated, but he broke my trust, too. Shared our story with reddit behind my back. He betrayed me!!" And she will use this narrative when talking to friends about it, and some of them will support her narrative and eventually she will feel like she was in the right.

        This is a fight you can't win.

        [–]AskTRP Endorsed Contributorbicepsblastingstud 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I'll still go with an open mind and hope that I get some truth

        Come on, dude. You can't be that dense.

        What happened to this?

        I finally just said to her, you haven't so much as held my hand in the past half year yet you can go fuck some guy you met at work while I sit like a jackass waiting for my junior high like date.

        [–]ronkarna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I'll still go with an open mind and hope that I get some truth.

        Remember that you can get out any time - she doesn't have to cheat again. If your heart is not in it or you don't trust her, then leave.

        People are good at acting for a week or two, but it's really hard to hold up a charade for a long time.

        Make sure you use protection (and flush the used condom down the toilet!) - it's on her to rebuild the trust (although AWALT applies) and it's on you to realize your full potential as a human being.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        you're the perfect example of somoene who just refuses to change or look truth in the face

        it's honestly pretty sad. who cares if she fucked 30 dudes WHO GIVES A SHIT WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE ANYMORE

        jesus christ i feel fucking bad no one in your life cares you enough to smack the shit out of you. what a waste of time and energy.

        [–]redpillar1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        The best response would be to just leave her! Trust me I've been pushed around by women. We've all been.

        The reason you weren't happy over the past year? You relied on your girlfriend for your happiness. The red pill isn't about being misogynistic towards women, it's about being independent and happy no matter what.

        [–]real-boethius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Hell, I am not a smart man.

        Don't be so hard on yourself. It was not a smart move but I am sure you will learn from it.

        As for people calling you a "beta faggot milquetoast", that is nasty. But, probably, the truth you needed to hear. There is no moral judgement in this - we are trained by society to be a "beta faggot milquetoast" and told women will like us for it. It is a lie, and you know that now.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

        Well, that might be a good thing for him

        [–]redrandoman 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        You fucked yourself from getting any solid truth by posting here saying

        if it was ongoing or more than once, I'm leaving

        Your post history states your sister and your cuckold know your posts on reddit. They know you posted here too, buddy. Good riddance to an honest answer at this point, if you thought complete honestly was even there to begin with.

        [–]Endorsed Contributormordanus 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        You know how people describe beer goggles? The concept that with enough of a chemical someone becomes attractive even though they really aren't. This is exactly what you are experiencing at this point except the chemical isn't alcohol. You are trying to fix this relationship because you believe you are in love with her. The problem is that the person you believe her to be is an illusion.

        Ask yourself if you are in love with her recent behavior. You should tally up her actions of late and set them aside as a completely separate thing than the person you believe her to be. Do you love those things that she has done? Do you love the selfish behavior that she has shown to you? Then attempting to justify cheating on you as 'finding her sexuality.'

        You are going to 'sober up' and all of the bad shit she has sent your way is going to drop on you like a ton of bricks. It's going to be like waking up next to a 500 pound chick after a night of drinking. You are going to realize that you fucked up by not kicking her out of your life.

        I'm just hoping that you can see through the haze before you bind yourself down to this woman.

        [–]BigAjax 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        This, this, this, a thousand times this. How many guys in shitty relationships - including me, now and in past LTRs - sit there and think about how much they love this woman and how badly they want to make things work with her? The guy is ready to run through a brick wall or suck down all kinds of shit sandwiches to try to make his relationship better. Meanwhile, she's treated the guy like garbage for months or years on end, without a thought at all about how to make things work well for the guy. Whether it's cheating, denying sex, spending like crazy, unpleasant demeanor, general disrespect, or whatever, so many guys don't bother to sit there and count up the good and the bad from some sufficiently long recent run, and let the accounting of that determine how they view her. Instead, the chemical cocktail bubbling in their brains keeps the guy thinking of just how wonderful she used to be, and if he only does XYZ, that wonderful broad will come back.

        I got news for you, chief, if she's doing fucked up shit to you now, after you've been together long enough for her to get comfortable with you, then that tells you who she really is. Or at least who she really is with you.

        Every guy in an LTR needs to do whatever he can to smash the wife/gf goggles and take a good, hard look at what his woman is really like. Is she adding value to your life? Do her actions put her in the red or the black? If things aren't right, does she just need a nudge and good leadership to get back on track, or is she really just an irredeemably selfish, solipsistic PoS? Why do you claim to love so deeply someone who, upon any sort of careful observation of her behavior, gives no real sign of having that feeling for you?

        It's hard to admit that a woman is a cheating gutter slut (or whatever) who used you, lied to you, and just manipulated you for provisioning, comfort, convenience, etc. It sucks to feel used or like you made a bad investment in her. It's awful to think that those early good times you had with her are gone forever. To cut her for being no good now feels like taking a piss all over whatever good stuff used to be there. Put all that together with that potent chemical cocktail, those wife/gf goggles, and it's really easy for the man hamster to explain away or trivialize all the evidence that screams that she's no good (for you, at least). Take control of your life and have the balls to force yourself to step outside your perspective on how you want the world to look (what you want your current woman to be like), and face how it/she really is. That's what the whole red pill is about. That and relentless self-improvement, which will enable you to attract and retain (so long as you see fit to keep them around) higher quality women.

        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Good luck bud <3

        [–]1grubek 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Ignore the troll noise. They will always be there in the Internet.

        As for your question, you can not. Words mean very little in general, but even less for women. Actions speak. And what your girlfriend now knows is you are a guy who will come back to her after she cheated. No matter what you do, no matter what you accomplish, that will always be in the back of her head. You might forgive her with time, but she will never forget.

        As for the meeting with the psychologist, be very careful. First, you are right about what you should have done after the rape, but don't beat yourself up, it looks like the perfect trap. You are young, inexperience and her family and the psychologist took control. Even if you tried not much would have changed. At least you have good instincts looking back. That's why I think this relationship is doomed, you might hang there for a while but will eventually snap out of it.

        For the meeting be ready for anything. Psychologist can be very weird people with weird theories but they have years of talking through shit like this and you'll be on her turf. This women should be doubted as psy given your gfs evolution, as other people told you in r/relationships. Not all psys are bad but be very careful with this one. Don't assume good faith, but don't confront her and try to avoid arguing with her too much. She has years of practice plus men are at a disadvantage because when we open up we look weak. Don't feel obligated to justify yourself, just say you don't feel something and that's it. And be ready for anything: she might be telling you there is more, your gf might be dumping you or she might be even trying to get the blame out of your gf and into her out of gf's parents pressure.

        Be ready for anything, don't assume good faith and remain stoic. The damage has already been done, now its your turn to move (or she is dumping you).

        [–]jons_throwaway 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        You can not take back control and be her. Bottom line she is a cheating whore, and you let happen without no consequence. Your fucked, she will repeat.

        Edit: If you had half the respect for yourself as you do for her you could see what needed to be done.

        [–]RidleySmith 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Reading some of the articles on the sidebar of your main page has provided me some decent info. I can't say I agree with everything but I certainly think I could benefit from looking at things from a different point of view.

        What don't you agree with? We can start from there and build up your knowledge

        [–]dooblegoo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Hold up.

        So it's okay for her to fuck another man in order to 'heal'...

        Yet it's not okay for you to dump her in order to heal yourself?

        Do you see the double standard?

        Why does she get a pass, because a bad thing happened to her?

        This isn't even a question of morals.

        You can't live your life subject to the whims of other people and expect to be happy. The only reason you should consider staying with her is because of the value she brings to your life. Not because of what she or some sisters thinks it's what you should do.

        But do you really think she's that valuable? Honestly. Considering that she CHEATED on you? That's a sign of worse things to come. My advice: get out now.

        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        How do I take back control of my part in her life? I will freely admit that I fucked up big time when this all went down. I felt helpless and hopeless and all I wanted to do was help her and do what it was everybody was telling me to do.

        Well at least be aware of the truth. She cheated when of sound mind. If you're gonna take that back against all better judgment then that's on you but don't lie to yourself about the situation you were in. Your fiance took another man's cock, rationalized it somehow, and used the rape that you've been trying for a year to help her get over as a manipulative tool. If you can look beyond that then go ahead but don't lie to yourself that THAT'S what happened.

        [–]Overzealous_BlackGuy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I find it very RP how OP made this post. If I had more time to explain it I would, but the fact that he disnt allow these little ass kids to later his opinion, come in here and read what trp is about, and try to understand it is great. We welcome you're type.

        But seriously Im part of the crowd that doesn't believe you can benefit from keeping homegirl.

        [–]despoticVeracity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        The biggest issue you have is a lack of abundance mentality.

        Think of a relationship as similar to a transaction or business arrangement, only with love, sex and care as the traded services. It may sound cold at first, but everyone needs to look out for themselves and avoid being taken advantage of. You don't have to be a dick about it; you can negotiate salaries, haggle and buy goods without going full Machiavelli.

        So imagine you're at a car dealership, buying a car (your gf). You see one, you take it for a bit of a drive and you like it. The dealer comes up to you and asks how you like it. You tell him you love it and will have it no matter what. His eyes light up. He can now raise the price as high as he likes, because you've just sacrificed your most valuable bargaining chip: the right to walk away. More importantly, you've told him. You gave him a blank cheque to gouge you for all you're with.

        This already happened in your relationship. You stuck around and she fucked around, giving you absolutely nothing. Since the rape, you've been a single man with none of the benefits and a leg cast of concrete.

        Now in this case, you've told us that you are still going to be with her and aren't going to be leaving. This is, in many of our minds, a terrible idea. The car is damaged, the salesman is scummy and you're pretty sure the boot had a dead body in it. But, taking into account you're set on this, the most important thing you can do is not reveal that under any circumstances. If you're going to be buying a shit car, the least you can do is haggle it down to a low price.

        How do you haggle? You point out all the flaws. You hem and haw. You appear torn. You pull out some other dealership quotes and talk about them. You explain how you just 'can't pay more than half what you're asking'. You bluff and you bluff well. You'll still end up with a shitty car, but it'll be decked out with extras and you'll get it for a low price.

        In this case, 'price' is equivalent to 'care in the relationship'. You already did this. You placed 'intimacy' (sex) as your bottom line price. Whaddya know? She put out, when all of the care in the world from before had her screwing another guy behind your back. What else do you want? Daily BJs on demand? Breakfast when you wake up? Respect? Never to be shouted at again? The right to screw other chicks? You can get it if you haggle right.

        Haggling, in this case, is what we call dread game. There are eleven stages, which you can find over on /r/MarriedRedPill, an LTR-oriented RP sub. In a nutshell, you raise your value (pass shit tests, hold frame and lift) while showing that you have options. You say (nonverbally) "I can get someone hotter than you who hasn't stabbed me in the back. Make it worth my while to be with you."

        This is not abusive; it's being aware of your own value. You are a lover, not a mother or brother. Romance is conditional love. At present, she's expecting you to be a parent; someone she can reject, insult and disrespect and still expect to love her. Trying to force that upon you is abusive. All we want you to do is put a fair price on your love and stop selling yourself short.

        All that said, your car is shit. It's been t-boned and taken for a joyride. The breaks are shot and the paintwork is a mess. It's going to cost more than you bought it for just to make it roadworthy. I can't suggest more strongly walking out of the dealership and going anywhere else. Try out some other rides. See if you like any of them. Enjoy how much more smoothly they run, not having to spend an hour jiggling the keys in the ignition just to get it to start moving.

        Failing that, get your wreck of a car at scrap-metal pricing, with a sick complimentary stereo system thrown in.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        When i first saw your post it was a huge wall of words and it seemed you tried so hard. Aren't you tried yet? You are putting so much time and stress, energy into something and getting nothing in return. Sure you love her, but its time to cut your losses.

        [–]drqxx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Your woman is damaged goods and to top it off she fucked someone behind your back. Call yourself tough all you want. Your actions are very bluepill.

        There are plenty of other non damaged women out there. Go find one.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          The main sub doesn't allow newbies to post.

          [–]workdavework 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          [deleted]

          What is this?

          [–][deleted]  (4 children)

          [deleted]

          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          No downvotes for you, you don't need to believe in a literal understanding of AWALT to say something smart in the eyes of TRP. Well, at least not in my eyes.

          [–]RPmatrix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I agree with bro byebye here, and as for anyone to say

          telling me that you hope my g/f is raped again while I have to watch

          would arouse in me (and any true alpha/sigma in this community) some hard core wrath on those people asses, which is normally, fucking hard to do to me!

          I wish you all the best bro with whatever you choose to do, but I wouldn't be putting all my eggs in this basket, it may break and you'll suffer it of does, I'm sorry to say.

          [–]1Reddthrown 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          First, welcome.

          Second, you owe this girl nothing. She has proven that she is not capable of providing a healthy relationship. The only reasonable course of action is to leave her and find a good girl. There are hundreds of millions.

          [–]StrokeGameHusky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          She has reinforced AWALT. Noted. Dump her.

          [–]dreckmal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          How do I take back control of my part in her life?

          Here's the problem with this question: your 'part' in her life is her choice. You know the old saying "You can lead a horse to the river..."

          You two are not 'together'. You choose to be with her, and she is sort of/kind of/not really choosing to be with you.

          You already know the answers to the questions you have, you are just terrified of them. And that's okay. Part of being a man is facing the shit you are afraid of.

          I felt helpless and hopeless and all I wanted to do was help her and do what it was everybody was telling me to do.

          Before you can help her (personally I don't think she deserves your help) you need to help yourself.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          If you any dignity you will dump her. I've only just read this story and I find it baffling that you would even consider staying with her.

          [–]SexistFlyingPig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          The red pill is not an easy pill to swallow. The gist of it is two fold.

          1) You've been lied to about the nature of women your whole life. Your mother lied to you, your sisters lied to you, mass media lies to you. We have a phrase here, All Women Are Like That: AWALT. It means that if you see a woman behave in a particular way that all women do the same thing. Your GF cheated on you with someone she found hot. What other women are in this picture? Mom, sisters, etc. Do you think they might have cheated on their paycheck with some hot guy at some point in their lives? They have, and that's why they side with your cheating GF. What would their lives be like if there were consequences for their behavior?

          2) You can better yourself, but it takes a lot of work, both physical and mental/emotional. You cannot change female nature. You cannot negotiate desire. You can get mad about it, you can get depressed about it, you can accept it, you can understand it, but you cannot change it.

          [–]Hunter2isit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          know that pussy is thicker than blood, don't expect your sister to be on your side, her hamster will kick in and have her side with the GF everytime as it is a reflection on her own ability to power grab and use sex as a commodity. My own family sided with my ex who treated me as bad / worse than your situation. The hard one is saying AWALT and if someone isn't supportive, even a sister, don't reward them with your attention. You cant change them, you don't have to speak with them.

          [–]648262[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I love it! TRP porn almost.

          Good on you man. I hope you come out of this a harder, better, faster and stronger man.

          A lot of good advice has already been given, but go your own way - that's how you take control - proactive instead of reactive. This post blew up and if you were just some random guy all the advice you would get was "read that sidebar". That still holds up.

          No More Mr. Nice Guy is also a very good and easy read for people in a similar situation as you.

          Best of luck!

          [–]StrokeGameHusky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          It says a lot about you character that you came here despite the hate. It shows you know there is a problem, or something may have heard resonated with you and you decided to check it out.

          That's step one. Step 2 is to dump your gf (your next update it will be ex-gf)

          Learn as much as you can. Pay extra attention to the AWALT(all women are like that) posts because it sounds like you may need reinforcement to learn of the true nature of women.

          Your gf does not need your help. She is feigning helplessness bc it gets her more attention. I bet my life savings on her using the the helplessness card when she heartlessly fucked some guy, but wouldn't even touch you.

          We have all been there where some chick just royally fucked us over, and this is the sub where we try to understand (thru real life observations, We NEVER base it on their words.) how women act, or why they do the things that they do.

          I don't know how others in this sub feel about the redpillwomen sub, but it may be worth your while to get a women's perspective- from women who know red pill is the best thing they can do for their LTR/Marriage. A cross post would do the trick.

          TL DR: just dump her and improve yourself. Your happiness in life depends on it.

          [–]flatox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          The people who wrote to you are most likely very new members.

          People new to the subreddit are in the angerphase of accepting TRP. They have their whole life been told one thing about women and the world which weren't true, and now they're angry at themselves for not seeing through the bullshit by themselves at first.

          Therefore they just want to throw any possible insult they can towards anyone who resemble their former selves, because in a way in our minds it feels like telling our old selves that they were fucking stupid, and in telling people in similar situations it feels like giving themselves a mouthful. They're so angry, and it is natural.

          But it is unbelievable that they just cannot keep it to themselves. TRP is not ment to be preached around.

          And as you might have noticed, we have quite a lot of members, and just a year ago we didn't. So the majority inhere are new, and therefore you should take everything with a grain of salt. What i say here too. Also, because english is not my first language, as many others.

          If anyone wrote comments here like you tell they PM'ed you, they'd either get a warning or a ban. From what iv'e seen, anyways.

          So yeah, don't listen to newcomers. It takes years to embrace TRP's concepts and a lifetime to fully understand it.

          [–]GregariousWolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          You need to take back your place in your own life.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

          Oh my god op ! Can't believe you're here! Welcome! Hope you take the advice and make trp your mainstay for eduction. Absolutely wish you the best in your endeavour of self improvement, stick with it, it takes years. And dump that fucking ho! DUMP HER FUMP HER DUMP HER DUMP HER DUMP HER DUMP HER. Have a great day!

          [–]real-boethius 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          DUMP HER

          Also have a solid conversation with your sister about loyalty.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          No point talking to the sister - she's never going to change governments now

          [–]BooksofMagic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Sure there is some "women are the enemy" vibes I get, but I honestly think at the core this is about being a better man.

          Nothing much to add to what everyone else here has said. Just anted to say good on you for reading enough around here to get this point. Most everyone else always keys in on the bad, but in the case of TRP, you have to take the bad with the good because both sides are important.

          [–]ScottRikkard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          This is my choice and I'm right now choosing to take back what was my place in her life.

          See this shit? Its not your place in HER life. It's her place in YOUR life. Stuff like that show how your mind works. You have to be the Sun and women the planets, not the other way around.

          You'll be good man. Patience and read the sidebar.

          [–]cantstopper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          That's a tough situation to be in, but I have no doubts I would have walked out of the therapist session and never spoke to her or her family again after the "It's not really cheating because of..."

          In fact, I would have forced my way to see her long, LONG before he was given the green light to visit her. Most of us would.

          Essentially, she resented her loved one because she got raped, and cheated on him whilst strong arming her family to keep quiet about it.

          That's just evil and wrong. I don't care what happened at that point.

          Men, hold on to your butts.

          He STILL wants to be part of her life...

          You can't fix stupid. You really can't.

          I hope this turns out being fake. Who the hell sits like a duck for months after his S/O gets raped?

          [–]ThrowingMyslfOutther 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          So here is the question part of my post for you. How do I take back control of my part in her life?

          You don't. I'm really sorry, but you don't.

          It's like asking how do you put a firework back together. Relationships are the strongest sense of entropy and entropy is single direction.

          I know you said that's not what you want to hear, doesn't make it any less true.

          Good luck.

          [–]Throway99038 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Well you have made up your mind to give your cheating gf another chance, even though everyone has rightly told you not to. Btw this therapist of hers, if it is the one who told you it's not cheating, it's taking back her sexuality, then don't bother going, cause you will be blamed for traumatizing your gf, destroying her progress blah blah. You should focus on yourself. Stop being such a pushover, you were bullied into staying by your sister and her sister. If you can't see that, then god help you.

          [–]tuxedoburrito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I've been following your story since the original post hoping you'd find your way here. We couldn't draw you here, you had to find it yourself. I'm so excited you're here.

          As for those assholes who said your girl should be raped, I'm sorry. They are trash and those comments were just meant to hurt. Don't sweat it. Glad you're here and trying to find a way to be a man.

          [–]Toolazy2work 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Welcome.
          You've chosen to stay with her. You will do anything to stay in her life. We call this oneitis. There are close to 7 BILLION people in the world, which translates to 3.5 BILLION women. Yet, this is the only one for you. That not really how things work. What this is is you're too AFRAID of life without her. You're AFRAID of change. Which is understandable, no one really likes change. But now, you're suffering extra and putting in more effort because of a mistake SHE made.
          Now would be a more perfect time than ever to red pill up. What has she done to earn back your trust? What has she done to earn back your relationship? Is your time not valuable? Why waste it with someone who will hurt you so badly?
          So here's what's about to change. You know all those times you wanted to go do something but she made you feel guilty about not doing what she wanted? Yeah, that doesn't happen anymore. You do what you want, when you want. You ask her what's she wants for dinner? Nope. You tell her what you're eating. She wants you to do chores, promising sexy time once they're done (chore play)? NNNNAH. You smirk and tell her to get to work and do a man project. You see she's had her fun and had her assistant (YOU). But she done Fukt up. Live how you want and if she wants to join, she will put her self where it fits your schedule. This is called frame. You have a direction, a drive. You know where you want to go and what you want to do. Women will try to make you loose frame, or bend to their will (their primal instinct, to see if you will be a good supporter and providers), with what we call shit-tests.
          A shit test would be if you're sitting on the couch watching tv and she says come clean these dishes. Old you would pop up and do them, to prevent the inevitable nagging if you remained on the couch. You've bent to her will, lost your frame, and now look like a good provider. New you would do what you want. You can remain on the couch and ignore it, the same way a child crying in their crib gets ignored to eventually break them of the habit. Or new you could get up. New you could walk to the kitchen. New you can confidently, firmly grab her, lead her to the dishes, bend her over the sink, and fuck her while she does them. Because that's what you want to do.

          This is only a fraction (really a byproduct) of what the red pill is. Red pill is reprogramming your mind to be a man. Men build thing with their hands. Men use their mind to solve great problems. Men use their muscles to defend their family from harm. Men make decisions. Men don't gossip about people at work or in the neighborhood. Men don't complain about their day. Men don't have to talk about how they feel (meditation is HIGHLY recommended in this sub). And most importantly, men are leaders. We captain the ship. If she wants to be first mate, she got to earn her spot.

          Welcome to TRP.

          [–]LionLaw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I don't like you at all and believe you're making a horrible mistake in even trying to make things work with your train wreck of a girlfriend, but I'll give you some solid advice you've been ignoring since the first fucking posting.
          GET HER A NEW THERAPIST

          [–]BenOfMahogany 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Anybody saying your GF (or ex-gf whatever) should get raped again is fucking scum. We do not support rape over here. Please report those cunts to a mod

          [–]mismm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Let me tell you why you got so much hate: because any man with any sense of self-worth, any self-respect, any dignity, would walk away from this woman after what happened. You are not worth the dick and balls you carry.

          I don't know what you are looking for here, because everybody will tell you to walk away. Nobody here is going to support you staying with her.

          I also have a feeling you are a troll, but whatever.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

          Respect. Glad you came to visit. Ignore the dickheads, everywhere has them, here too. People here are a little overcalibrated when it comes to fidelity if you ask me, but they're a good bunch of dudes, and the message here is much more truth and far less misogynistic hatred than the rest of reddit would have you believe..

          That said, your situation is a case where I'd think hard about staying with her. Tough call though. If the infidelity was more than a one off, like you suggest might be the case, then even I would say you should dump her hard. Do have a think about the oneitis issue though. It's a pretty nasty state of mind once you see through it.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            You know, you're right.

            [–]penguin_says_slide 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            My comment will be drowned out by hundreds other but you claimed you read all the thousand PMs they sent you, so maybe you read this too.

            First off, I'm so glad you have discovered TRP and are approaching it with an open mind. Whatever happens in the future is largely irrelevant...once you've seen behind the curtain there's no going back so I trust your life will improve massively.

            Secondly, apart from the resources on the sidebar and others, I'd highly highly highly suggest you check out :

            REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS in Youtube

            They have hundreds of videos, but to get you started, go to rsdfreetour channel and look for Become an Entity with Structural Integrity. Up to you, but that shit is life changing.

            Thirdly, TRP is not widely accepted in society and I doubt it ever will. Your sister and gf and so on know about this account. Are you sure you want to keep using this account to explore trp?

            All the best to you man!

            [–]favours_of_the_moon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            But telling me that you hope my g/f is raped again while I have to watch is not okay. Now those people may or may not have been members of this community but they sure as hell sent me the links. Like I said, call me whatever you want but seriously is advocating the rape of a woman what you guys stand for?

            These are feminazi/gender studies students who get grant money to concern troll and pose as TRP posters to make TRP people look like assholes.

            How do I take back control of my part in her life? I will freely admit that I fucked up big time when this all went down. I felt helpless and hopeless and all I wanted to do was help her and do what it was everybody was telling me to do.

            You did absolutely nothing wrong, imo. The problem is with HER. She interpreted your love and kindness toward her as weakness, causing her pretty little head to swell up. Therefore she just HAD to stick it to you in some way. There's probably some reason that it's not her fault too.

            [–]IWontpayyourprice666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Tell her you want to take a year off. Focus on you. Get AWESOME. Tell her at the end of a year that you'll give her a chance TO WIN YOU BACK.

            If she fails to meet the challenge she isn't worth the effort.

            [–]gangstaman9000the2nd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            It will blow up in your face.

            Take our advice and dump the bitch.

            Edit: You are the biggest cuckold in the world. Not "apparently".

            [–]Goldfulgore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            It is my assumption that you GF felt "something new" when the rape happened and she went out to seek it. That's why she broke things off with you. I know it doesn't make sense and I know that rape is bad but seriously you have no idea how a woman's mind works. Then she felt remorse and bad about the whole situation and tried to get back with you.

            Do you still want to have a relationship with this kind of person? Or are you just settling in because you have no other options?

            Well apparently the worlds largest cuckold checking in.

            I have seen worse, but you are high in the ranks.

            [–]charlie_p 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Jesus christ this is pathetic.

            [–]mr_one_liner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Not much to add here but to say: welcome, there's crazies in every group, and there's tons of benefit to be had in this community, good luck, and I hope you stay!

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

            [–]Entershikari 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Dude your eyes are now open.

            You're smart if you're here.

            Read and take back the control of your life.

            [–]rokr1292 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Besides the awful pms you got, I'm really happy you're here OP. Hopefully this will be the start of some good for you.

            At the same time, this post says a lot about this place. Everyone here seems like a member of the he-man-woman-haters club, but the purpose of trp is far above that. I'm glad you stayed long enough to pierce the veil.

            From being here for a while, I kind of suspect those pms might have been from non-members that haven't seen through it yet. Trp is very welcoming once you're open to trp ideas

            [–]jd0589 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Can we sidebar this whole post? It's really highlighting how many decent members we have in this sub. Grade A stuff for sure

            [–]bongsmuggler22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Yeah, keep going to the therapist that immediately began explaining away the cheating the moment it came up and trying to guilt you for not being happy about it... solid plan

            [–]Modbsutansalt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Considering the source of this thread, in the future I recommend all you use /r/RelationshipsUncut rather than the main sub.

            I take a hands-off approach to moderation. So long as it's not illegal or against Reddit's ToS, have at it. There will be no moderating influenced by dogma/ideology on my watch.

            [–]Myrpl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I don't know if anyone told you yet but, regarding sidebar material, I believe that plenty of us were disagreeing and were at disbelief for a very good while. But don't take things at face value. Try something and if it gets you results, it works. If it doesn't, drop it. Skepticism and constructive discussion is highly encouraged.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            OP is in such a shit predicament, in any other situation he would have dumped her but he's clearly confused on what he's supposed to do because he feels guilty for dumping her because she was raped.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Dude, I know you seem determined to stay with this chick. Your allowing your lizard brain to run the show over your actual brain..

            Let's look at logic.

            You have only one life to live..

            Is this the girl that will make that life the most enjoyable?? Or are you just staying to benefit her life instead of your own?

            [–]exit_sandman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            So here is the question part of my post for you.

            How do I take back control of my part in her life?

            Assuming that you're not a troll (which, given your story, I nevertheless sincerely hope you are), let me tell you what I've repeatedly said in here:

            You know that you've terribly screwed up if the relationships sub tells you the same thing TRP would.

            Because (isregarding the guys who said they hope you GF gets raped again/cheats on you before your eyes/whatever) that's exactly what happened: even the twu wuv-crowd from relationships thought that you were taken for a fool, strung along, lost your relationship for good, should have bailed months ago, and that she'll cheat on you again because you just signaled her that you're willing to be taken advantage of.

            Again: if the overwhelming majority of the relationships sub gives you unambiguously reasonable advice (in this case: "RUN!!!"), your situation is so FUBAR that you shouldn't even be asking the question you had in the first place.

            load more comments (43 replies)