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Break up with LTR (self.asktrp)

submitted by ramfex21

So my LTR of 5 years has decided to go on an overseas holiday to Europe for a month by her self. I told her I’m not keen on her traveling solo and staying in hostels with dudes looking to fuck. She wouldn’t listen and said she is going to go regardless. Tickets have been purchased and there are contiki pamphlets sitting on the table.

At this point I have had enough and want out of the relationship. She wants multiple kids She wants to get married to me She earns more than me She is a psychologist She is a raging feminist We have sex only like once a month and it’s boring sex She is emotionally manipulative Always trying to get me to work harder and save for more holidays, higher rent, better clothes etc.

So I’m thinking that while she is away I am going to move my shit out of the house and leave. Right before she comes back I will send her a message saying that when you get back I will have moved my shit out and will no longer be in the relationship. I then plan on blocking her phone and social media. I won’t even read her replies. Do you guys think this is a dick move? I’ve tried breaking up in person before and I just couldn’t do it... I didn’t have the balls, she started crying etc..

I know it are meant to sit down and have some conversation or something.. but I can’t seem to do it and I don’t want to ruin the rest of my life because I don’t have the guts to dump her face to face. I know I’m being a coward... but I got to what I got to do right?


[–]Zahlix 63 points64 points  (7 children)

Moving out your stuff before might be a good idea, so you have less face to face exposure later on. I would still advice a face to face breakup as a learning experience. You seem to have a problem communicating your wants and needs and running away from it hiding won't help you (maybe read the book No more Mr. Nice guy).

Yes, she will cry. Yes, you might cry. Yes, it will feel like a punch in the gut.

If this relationship is not what you want out of life, move on. You are wasting your own time and hers by trying to keep this broken ship afloat.

[–]y_nnis 27 points28 points  (1 child)

This is the answer you were looking for OP.

She wants you to make more. Why don't you want you to make more. She wants you to dress better. Why don't you want to dress better? She wants you to be able to go for more vacation. You don't want to be able to?

You seem to have been avoiding personal growth and it's good that in her very wrong way, she points it out. Do you have to leave? Probably. But take the plunge and talk to her about it. And then leave. Be brave, you owe it to your future self.

[–]Zahlix 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Regret is one of the worst things to carry around. I regret every single girl I didn't muster up the courage talking to. I don't regret a single rejection I got.

[–]Rene-Girard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No reason to fight a battle where there is nothing to win.

[–]truedemocracy3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. One thing I wish I learned earlier but didn't due to lack of experience was how to break up with a woman. Would save soooo much time

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I would still advice a face to face breakup as a learning experience.

Yes, you will learn that a face to face breakup is pointless, bothersome, a waste of time, and troublesome.

[–]Zahlix 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Or how to be an emotional grown up that is able to communicate his wants and needs, even if that might create conflict with a different person.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Silliness personified! You are trying to create conflict where none need exist.

If he walks, and all of his stuff is gone when she gets back, and he doesn't even text her...he WILL have more than communicated his needs and wants.

[–]xD3CrypTionz 69 points70 points  (7 children)

Not a dick move but it's the easiest way out IMO. If you couldn't pull the trigger all the way while she was in front of you then you didn't deserve the relationship. Abundance mentality my dude!

If you go through with this then make sure you get rid of any evidence (photos, texts etc) that way you don't reminisce and fuck up by going back to her. She would have the power then

Stay strong my dude! You got this

[–]ramfex21[S] 11 points12 points  (6 children)

Thankyou

[–]Aesthetic_God__ 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Post again after a month. I want to know what happened, also tell us what she did on her vacations.

[–]ramfex21[S] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Well I doubt I’ll find out what happened on the holiday unless she mentions it too get back at me when I break up with her. But if she does that she will be doing me a favour. But yea I will post an update after this is all over.

[–]Aesthetic_God__ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is what I was thinking, it is possible too. She might just spill out crap but on the other hand she might also remain cool. You never know. Keep your shit together dude. Good luck.

[–]ddbsirt 39 points40 points  (2 children)

I wouldn't even bother texting her.

I'd recommend you don't block her until perhaps a month after she comes back. The angry messages she sends you could provide good evidence in case she throws some accusations at you. (obviously don't reply to anything)

[–]DanielQuiles 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Both of the above responses are understandable and smart. Please take their advice.

[–]ramfex21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, incase she makes any allegations - I will keep a record of conversation.

[–]ramfex21[S] 24 points25 points  (20 children)

Bull fucking shit.. I have no doubt that guys will be chasing a single good looking backpacker staying in cheap dirty hostels. And if she cheats I’d never know. And it’s likely that she will, from stories I’ve heard. I can’t risk it

[–]TheRedPillMonkey 13 points14 points  (6 children)

Normally, I'd say that's a very insecure way of thinking. You're never supposed to drop a girl on a what if. It's not your job to guard her from moments where she could cheat. It's your job to dump her like last night's tacos when she does. It's very insecure and not very alpha to assume it's going to happen, then mate guard or dump her based on your insecurities.

That said, she seems like a manipulative cunt regardless. She's got you all billy beta and seems to have little regard for your happiness. That's more than enough grounds to kick the bitch to the curb.

Don't be worried if it's a dick move. It's the move you need to make. She won't be happy. She'll call it a dick move. She'll wonder what's wrong. She'll blame everything on you. But fuck her. She's just a lousy piece of pussy who doesn't realize that her value to you is not very big.

[–]truedemocracy3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Going abroad is one thing but contiki is basically an orgy fest

[–]slurmfactory 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Yea, ditching the bf for a month is a dick move. She will 100% cheat, and disregarded his feelings. OP its the right move, just pull the trigger. Execute your plan and go full on beastmode when youre single. It will be for the best bro.

[–]Republic_of_Ash 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She didn't ditch him. According to him, he was invited but decided not to go. His loss.

Also, 100% cheat? Lol, I can see you'd be amazing relationship material...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LTR worthy women don't do these types of trips

It doesn't matter if he can know for certain if she cheats

Her wanting to do this and going is a fire-able offense for many men, and it is justified

[–]ramfex21[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I need to move on and be an individual man.. work on myself and start interacting with new people. In this relationship I feel trapped. She hardly lets me talk to girls... even friends she wants me to ditch. I want to be able to do what I want, when I want.

[–]TheRedPillMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah bro. Bail. Bail hard and bail fast. Don't look back. Don't meet her to talk about shit. Don't feel bad.

She's gonna go crazy because she seems controlling and entitled. Just ignore. Block her everywhere. Don't give any attention and move on with your life.

[–]El_Serpiente_Roja 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dont risk this...a devoted chick in a ltr wouldnt do this if u had an issue. Your future healthy ltr wont do this bro.

[–]Republic_of_Ash 4 points5 points  (11 children)

Sounds like you're doing all of this because you're positive she is going to cheat, when really you have no idea. Maybe it's you who's boring and manipulative? Maybe you're the reason you don't have sex anymore. Ever think of that? Why is she going on holiday and not you? Why don't you have the balls to leave her, what's making you feel so guilty?

Just because she is a woman, does not mean she isn't a person too. If you want to leave her, then man up and tell her. Don't be a fucking pussy after 5 years, and just walk out the door while her back is turned.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Simply put

LTR material women don't go back packing alone in Europe for a month while in a relationship

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I agree and many family and friends also agree that it is highly suspicious behaviour in an LTR

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Here's where I think you might need to re-frame this.

"Suspicious" implies that she is planning to cheat or something similar.

That is not necessarily the case here. But how much does it matter?

It could be something more like she lacks empathy for you or is self-absorbed. Women excuse this by claiming to be a free spirit that is exploring themselves or something. It's ironic that all these free spirit type chicks are usually just plain old narcissistic.

The thing is that any of those things is bad in a LTR (cheating or just self-absorbed and uncaring). It erodes trust and kind regard. Let's say she does this trip and doesn't actually cheat (let's say you have a crystal ball and could know for sure). If you stay with her, then she will again do things that would make most men (you?) feel insecure in a monogamous relationship. Because that's who she is: she isn't LTR material, at least for you, regardless of if plans to cheats or ends up doing so in this one particular instance.

I was in a similar spot years ago. My LTR at the time was overly attention seeking. She would give way too much attention to other men in front of me. It was bad enough that several people commented on it to me unprompted, including other women. It was partly some psychological warfare against me. I have no proof she ever cheated. I started thinking I could excuse it if it was just her being a huge flirt that ignored me when other guys were around. I was fixated on it not being a "fire-able offense" until she had another dick in her mouth. I realized that even if she wasn't cheating, she was still either cruel or socially retarded and that this behavior destroyed my trust in her. I was checking to see if she cheated etc. Yes, her behavior was a red flag for future cheating, but in and of itself it was more than a red flag: it was poor treatment of me.

She was not LTR material and so I ended it.

Some people have a different conception of long term, exclusive relationships. The two people just know they are together and should trust each other, but aside from that they just do anything they want like they are single (except of course they usually agree not to fuck other people, and you are both to trust that unless there is obvious evidence or a confession). Well, that's not a LTR for most guys, that's a friends with benefits with no emotional attachment. Not many men can be emotionally attached to a woman and then be sane while she just does whatever as if she is single.

[–]ramfex21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankyou for your input bro! Yea, my girlfriend does seem very narcissistic. She is one of those strong feminist types who say they can do what ever they want and that no one is going to stop them (very difficult to be in LTR with). I expressed my concern over her plans to travel solo for one month while being in a near 5 year LTR. She dismissed my concerns saying that I am just insecure and not to worry. Most other situations like her going out partying etc I do not care about. I’m sure most other men would have some concern if they were in this situation. Especially considering her plans to stay in hostels and join a contiki tour where it is common knowledge that people go there to fuck. I view this holiday as a fireable offence tbh. But that is not the only reason I want out as you can see by reading my post. There are a lot of issues. This solo holiday is kinda like the last nail in the coffin for me.

[–]Republic_of_Ash 0 points1 point  (1 child)

They do if their relationship is long over :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're just mumbling shit at this point

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 26 points27 points  (12 children)

So my LTR of 5 years has decided to go on an overseas holiday to Europe for a month by her self.

Your ex-LTR, yes.

feminist

dealbreaker

Reading your first paragraph: get the fuck out, you're better off single. And there are women out there that, much better. There's no unicorns, but there's way fucking better than that.

Right before she comes back I will send her a message saying that when you get back I will have moved my shit out and will no longer be in the relationship. I then plan on blocking her phone and social media. I won’t even read her replies. Do you guys think this is a dick move? I’ve tried breaking up in person before and I just couldn’t do it... I didn’t have the balls, she started crying etc..

Never tell her anything about the future. "I will have moved out".

Instead you do it, and perhaps tell her. "I've moved out". Then refuse to meet if you're too weak to stand up to her.

Ideally you tell her everything in one text: "I've moved out, things are not working for me, we want different things". Now you've said everything and don't need to respond further. No negotiation.

By the way she's lining you up to be her BB while she fucks other men. Wanting marriage plus overseas holiday by herself.... I doubt you'd even be the father of your children.

Do you guys think this is a dick move?

It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, do what works for you.

I know it are meant to sit down and have some conversation or something.

No you are not "meant" to do this. You do this if you can, but it's not always the best. Especially when you're as under the fucking thumb as you are.

I know I’m being a coward... but I got to what I got to do right?

Time to grow some balls young padwan

[–]Cloudsurf89 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yes to all of these points apart from "You do this if you can".

No - only do this if you WANT to do it and it is beneficial to your own sanity and well being - avoid it if it means risking bottling it and caving in to her. You are your own man - speak through your actions.

How does the quote go... "There is nothing good or bad - only hamstering makes it so" 😆

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

heh yeah

[–]02537-41101 13 points14 points  (3 children)

hold up, she earns more than you as a psychologist and wants you to work harder for yourself as you mention?

I’m gonna be that guy — this isn’t grounds for separation as much as it is your own inadequacy showing through. despite her raging hot feminism, unless I have more context I’m acquiescence to the idea that you’re not being the man you should be in your dynamic.

[–]michaelkc03 0 points1 point  (2 children)

He’s not the man he should be because the psychologist woman makes more than him?

Don’t buy this line of thinking OP. Your worth is NOT determined by your net worth or anything external.

Of course it is okay to strive for more pussy, health and wealth. But NEVER let external factors determine your self worth. Never. They are too variable to do so.

[–]02537-41101 0 points1 point  (1 child)

He’s not the man he should be because the psychologist woman makes more than him?

no. there’s a predicate set in the unconscious value of both individuals which would explain her behaviour. it’s not a bad thing to ‘push’ your partner to be better, unless they’re at the full extent of their capabilities.

NEVER let external factors determine your self worth

true, but in this context it’s a false dichotomy. any relationship you commit to is a significant part of your own life — it’s not an externality in any way. if this individual is having to be his personal motivator to do better, i’m led to believe there’s more to this situation than the both of us know.

[–]michaelkc03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A nagging feminist will never be a sufficient motivator...

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Good plan. If she is annoying you too much until then, don't even bother sending a text.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Women traveling alone always calls for a good story. In their head the vacation-dick probably doesn't count.

[–]ramfex21[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the heads up. Yea I’ve heard stories bro. I don’t really wanna be another victim

[–]dinkelpuss 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Get out ... my ex-LTR went on two trips by herself to Europe ... the first time she fucked some guy behind my back and was planning on branch swinging to him for a LTR the next time she went back in 6 months (except he pumped her and dumped her immediately).

I made the beta-faggot move of forgiving her after finding out and gave it another shot. When I heard she was planning on going to Europe again with her "friends" I ended it right there and she agreed with my decision (she knew what she wanted).

Now she's in a LDR with a guy overseas that she met from that trip.

get out.

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Jesus that’s rough! Just wondering how you found out that she cheated while she was away?

No doubt she would be cheating on this LDR now as well. Good move leaving man.

[–]dinkelpuss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I followed her to Europe as a surprise after she ended things the first time. She was over the moon to see me (because she had been pumped and dumped by the time I came. One night out we went back to my place and she passed out. Out of curiosity I went through her phone and found out the last 6 months of cheating ... It was so fucked ... I even forgave her, that's how i fucked I was.

she admitted that she wasn't planning on telling me at all, so take what you want from my experience. Personally I'd move on if i were you.

[–]purplefidgetmidget 21 points22 points  (16 children)

Yes, it's a dick move to break up with someone when they're away after a 5 year relationship.

It's not the wrong move, you should definitely break up, but you should have the balls to do it to her face, not SMS her 'sry bby g2g thx 4 the 5 yrs cu'.

If you want to take the coward action then fine but it looks like your post's purpose is to reduce your own guilt by getting some other people to agree with you that it's acceptable to dump a girl after 5 years by text while she's away. It isn't.

Also ghosting her isn't cool either. Sure, ghost a plate, or ghost an LTR that cheats on you or whatever, but after a 5 year relationship? You should talk to her like a man, tell her what's up, and give her some closure. She'll get absolutely fucked up mentally if you just ghost her, she'll wonder WTF happened and it'll probably scar her for several years. I know someone that did this and the girl never got over it fully.

TRP isn't about being abusive to women. It's about being a man.

[–]Rene-Girard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Boo fucking hoo. She's a complete bitch to him and going to Europe to fuck around. He owes her nothing.

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (11 children)

Yea I see your point.. I’ll move my shit out of the house. Send her a message saying that we need to talk’ . If she agrees to meet after seeing my shit isn’t in the house I’ll go meet her and tell her it’s over

[–]purplefidgetmidget 3 points4 points  (10 children)

I'd either text or call her towards the end of her holiday so it isn't ruined, explain that you've given it some thought and you're ending the relationship. Move your shit out, explain briefly why, then after she gets back, talk to her.

People will no doubt say to ghost her and you should do this, but I wouldn't do it completely to begin with. If you want to be nice, presumably after 5 years you care for her a bit. She's just going to want to go through the five stages of grief. So let her text you with her pleading, bargaining, anger etc. don't enter into ANY discussion just reiterate what you've said and try to give clear answers about how you feel. Because feelings cannot be argued with. Don't engage in ANY other conversation because she will try to ask you how your day is etc. and yes, block her from all social media etc.

After a couple of weeks hopefully you'll start to feel like you've answered all her questions and given her closure. At that point you should tell her that you need to cut off communication so you can both move on, and ghost her.

I expect this advice will fly in the face of the general attitude which is ghost+move on+abundance, but you don't have to be mean to girls, and 5 years is a hell of a long time. Doing her a favour for a couple of weeks to stop her getting too mentally fucked up is a drop in the ocean.

Remember, stay calm, express your feelings about the relationship not the facts (if you start saying things like I don't like X in our relationship it will give her leverage to start bargaining that she can change it, which will NOT work - she'll turn you into a monster that won't try to fix it), your goal is just to help her understand what's going on, then it's to help you both move on.

Good luck.

Edit: I'll just add that I did this, although I broke up face to face, expressed all my views etc. and then left. She bitched me out over e-mail a couple of times (e-mail is quite good for this cos you can write a long thought out message), then there was a gap where we left things in a bad state, closure wasn't quite there. Then a week or two later it all came flooding out, we sent a bunch of e-mails back and forth, both sides said what they wanted to say, she got as much closure as she was ever going to get, and then we ghosted each other. Never seen her again since then. Cleared my conscience that I hadn't left her hanging. The element people miss is that breaking up with an LTR you generally still care a lot for them.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Your comment is amazing. She's fucking him over, shitting on him after a 5 year relationship, and you want OP to make sure that she has a soft landing!

Incredible.

[–]purplefidgetmidget 0 points1 point  (3 children)

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

But more seriously, we know women are children and accept it, why not accept the fact they have no idea what they want or how to take care of themselves, too?

After 5 years even if she cheats on him there's still five years of history between them. You can still be deeply emotionally bonded to a person and cheat on them, it's how women will smile and have a lovely happy life with their husband and kids and act like everything is perfect whilst secretly getting railed every tuesday morning by some alpha dick.

I think people on this subreddit act way too macho and emotionally detatched when considering other people's situations.

It's like if you have a dog for 10 years and it's your best friend, and one day you pick it up it nips you, which it isn't supposed to do because you trained it well and it has never done that before. Do you immediately destroy the dog with no feelings at all, because hey, despite it being in its nature to be a bit bitey, it doesn't matter? Or do you perhaps accept that you can't keep a nippy dog in your house anymore but try to show some compassion for it?

I mean the way people on here act it's like HARD NEXT BRO, GHOST HER. Like yeah, that won't fuck both sides up mentally after such a long time together.

Showing a bit of compassion to make things go smoothly doesn't cost anything, and it's the humane thing to do.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (2 children)

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Irrelevant. I'm not talking about payback, at all. I'm thinking of OP's total future.

After 5 years even if she cheats on him there's still five years of history between them.

Yep; which she totally disregarded. Shit upon. Laughed at. Said 'Fuck You' to. OP should not be tied to the past, to some 'history', be it 5 years or 5 minutes. The past, as they say, is gone.

I think people on this subreddit act way too macho and emotionally detached when considering other people's situations.

Maybe yes, maybe no. When one breaks up, becoming emotionally detached is often good, don't you find?

It's like if you have a dog for 10 years and it's your best friend, and one day you pick it up it nips you, which it isn't supposed to do because you trained it well and it has never done that before. Do you immediately destroy the dog with no feelings at all, because hey, despite it being in its nature to be a bit bitey, it doesn't matter? Or do you perhaps accept that you can't keep a nippy dog in your house anymore but try to show some compassion for it?

Or, it's like a gf you've had for 5 years, and she goes off to Europe to fuck other dudes. Do you keep her and her diseased, public vagina, and her whorish ways around longer, to mock you and fuck around on you at her leisure, while wasting your time, giving you monthly, begrudged starfish sex, or do you do what's best for you?

I mean the way people on here act it's like HARD NEXT BRO, GHOST HER. Like yeah, that won't fuck both sides up mentally after such a long time together.

Are you on fucking crack??? The whore will go on to other dick; the OP will begin to repair. The damage to OP is done. The whore will feel nothing. She wants to fuck around; she can. Their lives aren't on the careen to Hell's gates that you prophesy.

Showing a bit of compassion to make things go smoothly doesn't cost anything, and it's the humane thing to do.

Wasting time, expense, and energy on a whore doesn't make things go smoothly. It's taking...time...expense...and energy from the OP. OP can show compassion by giving her a very clear message: He wants nothing more to do with her. A 'Face to face' is not 'the humane thing to do'; it's "The Blue Pill" thing to do.

[–]purplefidgetmidget -1 points0 points  (1 child)

You've done a good job of misrepresenting every single point I made lol, kudos.

You've expressed yourself with anger and extremes, it suggests 'payback' but it's like kicking a wild dog for biting you because you knew it would probably do something like this. You know she's gonna end up giving in to temptation. It's in her nature.

Just because the relationship ends doesn't mean that there wasn't 5 years of great memories and emotional bonding. The past isn't magically gone.

The emotionally detatched part was a clever misdirection, I didn't say you shouldn't become emotionally detatched as a result of a breakup. I said that people on the subreddit are emotionally detatched, they don't consider a person's feelings or emotional state. It's why we have 90000 posts a day telling people who say they have difficulty doing X to 'just do X, get some discipline' without trying to address any underlying cause. Shouting at people to immediately hard next at the drop of a hat, because they have no skin in the game and no empathy for what a guy is feeling. So they end up with poor advice a lot. "Oh my wife has been flirting with a coworker what do I do, we have 2 kids" - this sub: "Hard next bro, go smash some 20 yr old vag, gg ez"

What's best for you is to end your relationship and move on, it's to get closure, tie up loose ends, and progress to the next part of your life. For some reason people have no empathy for what happens at the end of a relationship. I've ended every single LTR I've had since the age of 21 and some of them I just shrugged and walked away, and some of them, ending it fucked me up for a long time, and my longest LTR was 6 months. I can't even begin to imagine how I'd feel after 5 years. And that's if I break up, calculated and with reasons that have been stewing for a while.

Just because I didn't advocate ghosting her doesn't mean I think they should stay together. It's like your dog bites you one day and you think with a kid around, I better do something about this. The sensible option is to rehome him, since you care a ton about him despite his behaviour. This sub would be like 'ya bro just get the shotgun, blow his brains out and then come out for a beer later, we're going to TGI fridays'. No empathy.

Every woman is a whore, they just haven't acted on it yet. It's called hypergamy. Getting butthurt when it happens, KNOWING it's gonna happen, is pretty sad behaviour. It really is the humane thing to do, it's called being mature, dealing with your affairs, putting things in order, getting closure on both sides and then walking away without any loose threads.

I can't think of any worse behaviour than knowing the nature of a woman and then when it comes to reality, running away shouting that she's a slut, how could you have known!!!.

AWALT. Embrace it, don't try to fight it.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WTF are you on about??

You just write to be writing, and it has nothing to do with what I wrote.

Just because I didn't advocate ghosting her doesn't mean I think they should stay together.

Again, WTF said that you said that? You need to read before you write. You are answering somebody else's post, none of mine. What, 10 fucking paragraphs? You are beyond hope. I wash my hands of you.

[–]ramfex21[S] -1 points0 points  (4 children)

I do still care a lot for her but I know I need to move on and that she will be heartbroken. You kinda have changed my mind that I should at least be open to offering her simple closure. No need to get into the nitty gritty of all the problems etc. A straight up ghosting after 5 years is perhaps a little rough. I just want to avoid being at a meeting with her and being convinced into staying etc. because that’s what happened last time I packed my shit and just about to walk out the door. You know what I mean? It eats away at me planning this shit.. but it’s what I need ultimately for myself. I want to be my own man again with options and life agility .

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do still care a lot for her but I know I need to move on and that she will be heartbroken. You kinda have changed my mind Doing what is best for her will only reinforce your Blue Pill characteristics. "A straight up ghosting after 5 years is perhaps a little rough."

Yeah, almost as rough as leaving you in the States and going off to fuck Pierre, after 5 years!

I just want to avoid being at a meeting with her and being convinced into staying etc. because that’s what happened last time

OK, just imagine the three cocks of Pierre, Francois, and Jean Paul going into her simultaneously, and her screaming, begging them all to come on her back, face, and tits. Do you think that this will help you to walk out? If not, you should propose to her. Be sure to have plenty of flowers, and buy the ring before your meeting.

Don't be a cuck. You owe whores NOTHING!

[–]purplefidgetmidget 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That's fair enough, I was probably a bit harsh.

You just need to avoid all arguing and discussion, it's not a discussion it's you informing her of what's happening.

It'd be wise to write down for your own sake the reasons you want to break up, the problems etc. so you can read it back to yourself and be confident that it's the right decision.

[–]ramfex21[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Thank for all your advice mate! I appreciate it. Definitely helps

[–]Scheme00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Purple is a stand up dude with some GREAT advice. But the part I disagree with is to let her enjoy the vacation. Fuck that. You will still technically be together while she is most likely cheating and having an easy reason for her to end it while you lay awake every night wondering which handsomeeuro tourist is putting it in her ass. Dump her before the trip so YOU can move on and not worry what she’s doing on her trip. Most likely it will make her reflect on how she messed up and has taken you for granted while staring at beautiful scenery, rather than meeting a new dude and doing pub crawls with them. I agree with not wanting to ruin her life but you must put yourself first and that is ending it before she leaves.

[–]xidub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's a dick move to break up with someone when they're away after a 5 year relationship.

What if they are a complete cunt though?

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Also ghosting her isn't cool either. Sure, ghost a plate, or ghost an LTR that cheats on you or whatever, but after a 5 year relationship?

Yeah; after all, all shels doing is being away and getting some foreign dick after a 5 year relationship! OP should do what's cool! /s

Ghosting her is about 1/10th of what she deserves.

She'll get absolutely fucked up mentally if you just ghost her, she'll wonder WTF happened

I think that she'll know what happened; she went to Europe, sucked and fucked a lot of strange Dick. As soon as she finds another Stateside cock, she'll get over it.

[–]purplefidgetmidget 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But... you knew she was going to do that eventually.

It's like getting a rescue dog that occasionally pees on the carpet, and then being like this dog is awesome, then one day it pees on the carpet and you're like WTF?? HOW DARE IT DO THIS! OUT WITH THE DOG.

Like, you knew the dog would do that eventually when you adopted it. If it's a deal breaker, that's fine you can let the dog go back, but the idea that you'd just incinerate it then yawn and wonder what's for breakfast is pretty naive.

[–]2chazthundergut 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Stop being a spineless bitch and break up with her right now.

No wonder she only fucks you once a month. Find your balls and start acting like a man.

[–]tiffanyoiler_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Definitely break up with her but only after the trip. Don’t just sit on your ass during this period of separation between the two of you and use it to go game and possibly spin new plates while also sorting out your feelings of inadequacy.

By the assumption of what you wrote, your insecurities are overflowing and your gf is tired of cuddling it (ironic enough that she’s a psychologist and it’s her profession, that’s a different subject though). Do whatever it takes to build your confidence and mentally prepare yourself so you can deal with possible shit tests and lost of frame when you do end it. It’ll help you with your problem of asserting yourself and not resort to evasive tactics in the future and establish frame. 48 laws of power is definitely a book you should read during this period.

Give us the recap of this in a month. Best of luck.

[–]that_italia_guy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your happiness is the most important thing. You ain't a happy dude in that relationship. And sex once a month....that's brutal

[–]5JS1XBG64A 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She earns more than me

Always trying to get me to work harder and save more for holidays, higher rent, better clothes

While you absolutely should end things with her based on the other stuff you've told us, she has a damn good point here. Why AREN'T you working harder and saving more? You should be doing these things because they're good for you, not because she's nagging you like your mom would to get you to do them.

Move out while she's gone, break up with her face to face when she gets back. Have some backbone. Once you two are done, get working on improving yourself. Work harder, be wiser with your money, get to the gym, all that.

[–]WoodWizzy87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Move out and ghost, who gives a shut about giving her closure

[–]BusterVadge 3 points4 points  (0 children)

> I’ve tried breaking up in person before and I just couldn’t do it... I didn’t have the balls, she started crying etc..

There is your real problem. You're a doormat.

Yes, dump her anyway you can find the courage to do so but for gods sake fix yourself ASAP!

[–]moresmarterthanyou 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Personaly I think it’s a pussy move. Man up and do it face To face. Move your stuff out while she’s gonna and tell her face to face when she gets back, it’ll help your communication skillss, the fact your considering ghosting someone you’ve been with for 5 years is nuts.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 5 points6 points  (5 children)

Excellent plan, move all your shit out and don't bother contacting her that you're gone. You need to ghost her completely so her hamster will go supersonic.

[–]ramfex21[S] -1 points0 points  (4 children)

You don’t think it’s rough after 5 years ?

[–]elcarlosmiguel 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Nope this is actually one of the most disrespectful things I've seen a woman do. 1 month vacation to Europe? This is basically saying that she doesn't give a shit about you, and she thinks you will stay with her even though she is going to cheat.

This shows she has 0 respect for you

BTW you are in a relationship where you only have sex once a month? Wtf don't you have a bit of self respect. How can you even have sex with a girl who is not attracted to you? That's disgusting. As soon as your girl stops wanting to have sex with you that's reason enough to breakup.

Just leave and don't even say a word to her she knows exactly what she is doing more, it's possible she comes back pregnant and tries to fuck you so you think it will be your kid.

Leave and block her everywhere you don't need to explain shit she will know why.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you think it's rough that your GF is going to be riding strange cocks for an entire month in Europe?

[–]wheresMYsteakAt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's very rough but I think a trip alone is worst. Have their been any red flags before this?(answer still Is to leave, I'm just curious).

Are you absolutely sure she didn't buy your a ticket also as a Surprise? This would be the only clause I can see.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about leaving the country to fuck strangers, after 5 years. Is that rough or no?

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yea she is fucking me over all why saying that this is just what people do these days.. they travel solo in LTRs etc

[–]Str8_Pillin 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If you do your next relationship right, she'll be begging to go to the grocery store with you just to maximize your time together. Then you'll see that this is most certainly NOT just what people do these days.

[–]ramfex21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I plan on being single for like the next 5 years . I never want to be in this situation again.

[–]ronalddrump69 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You sound like a faggot. Just man up and break up in real life. You dated for 5 years, why the hell would you break up through text, you think she won't go to ur house if u do it via text? It sucks to break up but in the long run you'll be happy you did it face to face. Breaking up via text is NOT okay.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wrong. She is playing the whore, and he should 'man up', and expend more energy on her, wasting his time, when he could be hitting up other chicks, working on his resume, or LIFTING?? Fuck that noise. They dated for 5 years-and then, SHE LEFT THE COUNTRY TO GO SUCK SOME CONTINENTAL DICK! After 5 years, she should be fucking stoned for sucking the life out of him for that time, not even fucking him weekly, and then running off to play the whore!

I'm sure you have balls-it's the gray matter that sounds like it's lacking.

[–]ronalddrump69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit you have some serious trust issues. I still stick to my opinion. Breaking up through text is not okay.

[–]Scholes_SC2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Feminist, boring sex, emotionally manipulative, pushing you to do things? How did you put up with this shit for so long?

[–]resnine 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Just reading that first line, going on a European holiday by herself. I think we all know what that means.... she's going to be riding the cock-carousal in Europe.

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most likely.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Le Coque Carousel!

[–]resnine 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Cue the romantic french music while she's being boppin from one guy to the next.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bow-chika-chika!

[–]GainzdalfTheWhey 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Boring sex once a month, then yeah jeez, discard her

[–]ramfex21[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s fucked.. I know. I don’t know how I’ve lasted TBH. Kinda thought it would get better. But I’ve just been kidding myself. It’s not going to improve

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

X10.

[–]HannibalBacara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even if she wasn’t going on this trip I’d tell you to break up with her because of all the other shit you described.

Sex once a month?!?!!? Fuck off.

But he a man about it and break up with her in person.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have resigned yourself to going through life as a pussy all other questions of technique, strategy, and style are pointless.

You'll just fuck the next one up until you learn so go right ahead. Eventually you'll stop and ask why you are asking advice on how to be a more efficient pussy and start asking the right questions. Or maybe you wont.

Good luck.

[–]RedPilledRoaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be a man or be a bitch. The choice is yours.

[–]Entrefut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Listen... If what you have written here is true and you seriously find her that daunting, that’s all the more reason to dump her straight to her face.

When something scares you and you overcome it, especially if it’s what you really want, you feel confident and strong after just doing it.

It sounds like over the course of 5 years this girl has worked her way into making you completely okay with everything she wants to do.

Let her go on this trip, but the entire time she’s gone, move on. Focus on yourself, find other girls to hit on, move on. When she gets back from her vacation, then decide what you want. Do you want once a month boring sex? Do you want someone who has a disrespect towards the male mindset? Do you honestly think you can do better (you can)?

When she comes back, sit her down, tell her you liked the break you guys just took and want to continue on this path of getting to go out and get the things that make you happy. Take a break from her, see what other girls have to offer. You’re worth it, you have an entire life ahead of you.

[–]zboo1h 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stay strong, dude. Try and remember the feeling in your gut. You're not happy with her, she isn't a positive thing for you, she isn't a net gain in your life.

There are billions of other women who can give you the same if not better (and hearing about your sex life, definitely better).

Speaking of that, having sex once a month and it being "boring" is one of the classic indicators she's cheating on you. Not saying she is, but there's that.

Stay strong. You're doing the right thing. When she cries, you ignore it, you fucking stay out of her emotional shit. You want out, so you leave, you don't play her game, this is YOUR fucking game, and you're taking YOUR ball(s) and going home. Fuck her.

Meanwhile, after it's done and her # is blocked and her social media is blocked and there is no way she can contact you, move on immediately. Curl up in the corner and cry for 15 designated "Crying Pussy" minutes, then get up and start talking to other girls. Start banging the shit out of them. You'll find it helps a whole lot. Keep going, man.

[–]relder2585 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to see that you're not even considering staying together, because that would be absurdly pathetic on your part. She totally disrespected you by knowing you're not cool with her going on the trip but going anyway.

So, as to your method of breaking up, man up and do it face to face. Then move out. Don't get angry, but let her know that what she did is highly disrespectful and you'll have none of it. But do it face to face.

I think the only time its reasonable to completely ghost in the way you suggest is if she actually cheated on you.

[–]dotwav2mpfree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would end it asap, even before she leaves. Might be inconvenient, but it saves you a lot of nights in the future doubting whether you should go out on the prowl. Or if that's what she's doing in the EU. I'm struggling lately to understand why so many young women think it's okay to vacation solo when they are in a LTR. Seems to be a commonly held opinion. Why not plan a vacation together?

[–]rpthrowaway871 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you guys think this is a dick move?

Sounds like she's been stepping on your dick for 5 years, so who fucking cares? You're sitting here worrying about her feelings.

You're not happy. Go get happy. You're making this about her when it should be about you.

[–]MindFuktd 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Fucking once a month?... It's over.

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep! I want girls who actually want to fuck me. I’ve not had a bj in over 5 years

[–]liberty1127 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Break up or suffer the consequences

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s the ways it’s looking ey

[–]truedemocracy3 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Going abroad is one thing, but using Contiki??? No one does that unless they are absolutely looking for sex. She's going there to get dicked and will get dicked regardless of your relationship with her.

Sounds like things went south already so better to get out now than before marriage

[–]ramfex21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely will be!

[–]throwawaydegar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Contiki is essentially a bit orgy. It's great fun.

I've had sex with countless backpacking girls from years spent on that scene. A lot of them are open about having boyfriends at home.

Yeah, this is over. No doubt about it. Would be better if you could do it before she left. But doesn't matter either way. She isn't coming back to you anyway. Sounds like you moving out whilst she is away will be a relief for both of you.

[–]throwinghthisoneaway 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Seeing as shes pushing for kids and marriage while taking this trip without it, i think its fine you breakup with her. Make no mistake, women cheat when they travel alone. Its a big reason why they travel in the first place in my experience, because its easy to get dick that they dont have to stat with. I think you should breakup with her after she goes on her trip though. And face to dace because you should be able to look someone in the eye and say i dont want to be with you anymore. If you cant youre a pussy

[–]DanielQuiles 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Pussy or not, it's better that he breaks up rather than fail when she pulls the emotions out.

[–]PliskinRed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not a dick move, it's a pussy move.

Be a man and learn to confront your issues instead of running away from them.

What if the problem was your boss or a client, for example, instead of your GF? Would you just not turn up to work one day?

Move your stuff out while she is away to avoid the drama and screaming but break up with her face to face (IN A PUBLIC PLACE.

I know I’m being a coward... but I got to what I got to do right?

Yes, do what you got to do but do it the right way. And no, I dont mean right be her. I mean rght by you.

This is a big problem in your life obviously causing you anxiety and you need to learn to face it.

[–]dongpal 4 points5 points  (14 children)

the way you described it is actually theoretically and practically the best way to do it. you will be able to move your shit away without any harm, no big drama and stuff. everyone who goes on holidays without their SO should be left right on the spot.

[–]ramfex21[S] 6 points7 points  (9 children)

Yea IMO it’s a major red flag on her part. 1 month solo holiday to Europe while in a 5 year LTR.. fuck that.

[–]dongpal -2 points-1 points  (8 children)

what did she actually say to make that possible? never ever in a LTR, holidays were done alone, let alone going to cinema.

[–]ramfex21[S] 3 points4 points  (7 children)

She said she is going on a holiday.. she’s booked the flights and there are contiki pamphlets on the dining room table. She is staying in hostels. I told her I’m not keen but said she is going regardless .

[–]dongpal 5 points6 points  (2 children)

lmao cant believe stuff like that happens. those people must be in really bad relationships, and reading your posts, I see it is.

ltr is not just about giving commitment, sharing time,money and energy, but also about sharing moments and having a great time. she doesnt seem to be able to share the moments in europe with you. thus this is not a ltr.

[–]Republic_of_Ash 1 point2 points  (1 child)

He stated he doesn't feel like going. So sounds like he had a choice to me. Maybe he doesn't have the money, and she's going regardless because she needs to get the fuck away from all the work, the monotony of their country as well, and maybe even him.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...in favor of strange dick!

[–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Hostels + Contiki... for one month... I think it's 90% sure something will happen. And if something happens she won't tell you. You'd have to snoop.

I know it's hard to breakup with someone. Maybe you give her hints that since she has decided to go you will leave. Don't do dick move style move your stuff silently and send her a SMS just before she comes back, that's weird. Because she will probably message you while travelling there, so would you pretend everything is fine?

But if you breakup before the probability something happens rises to 99% :)

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (2 children)

But if you breakup before the probability something happens rises to 99% :)

If he breaks up, he doesn't give a flying fuck.

Knock off the emojis.

[–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Obviously he cares now so will care later. I put emojis if I want.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, of course, he'll care about the chick..you can't scrape off those feelings quickly; he just won't give a fuck if she fucked, since she already has/had.

I put emojis if I want.

Eeeeeeeeessssy, son...just put the keyboard down reeeeeaaalll slowly, and we'll just back away....thaaaaat's right....eeeesy...

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I just worry that if I send that message to her.. she may try to defame me on social media or something with it. So I could just send her a message when she lands back home saying ‘we need to have a chat’. She will see the house empty of my shit and probably not want to see me for ‘the chat’.

[–]DanielQuiles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think she'll want to see you regardless. Just say "this isn't working out".

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just worry that if I send that message to her.. she may try to defame me on social media or something with it.

Good thinking. Maybe you should pay for her ticket and she will tell everybody on Facebook what a swell guy you are! Maybe, even, a White Knight!

[–]dutchgguy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And deciding the holiday destination should be a common affair.

[–]11-Eleven-11 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I would do it right before she left. Ruin her trip.

[–]ramfex21[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hmm... but if she is going to cheat on her holiday.. I’d rather she feel guilty while doing it instead of me breaking up with her and giving her a free pass for European rebounds galore.

[–]friendandadvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm... but if she is going to cheat on her holiday.. I’d rather she feel guilty

Seriously, though...

[–]forbesno1 0 points1 point  (5 children)

If you can pull it off, sure man. Btw, why are you leaving? Isn't this your house?

[–]ramfex21[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

We are renting and will only have two months left on the lease at the time I plan to do this

[–]forbesno1 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Make sure she can't come after you about the lease.

As a law student, I would recommend you wait out the lease, but you do you.

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I plan on paying my remaining share of the lease. So no legal repercussions should arise.

[–]friendandadvisor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Send it with checks or money order.

Further, give your manager 30 days notice. If you do not, you may have a clause in the contract saying that the contract will continue or be renewed without notice.

Good luck.

[–]Str8_Pillin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leave a paper trail for proof

[–]Redasshole 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You don't owe her shit.

If you don't want a conversation then you don't have it. Don't let women define what being a man is. Thinking "I don't want a face to face conversation then i'm a coward then i'm not a man" is stupid. Women wants face to face conversation so they can influence you therefore that's why they say no face to face breakup = coward = not a man.

Since she is a manipulative feminist then you must protect yourself. Moving your stuff out is great but then make sure she has no mean of harming you cause believe me she will try. Not telling her or any mutual friend your new address is the place to start

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, it is all just socially conditioned beliefs of what a MAN is. Since when do women play by the rules.. oh wait, they make their own rules

[–]Fun2badult 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Don’t expect think she’s not going to find dudes and eventually fuck

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree

[–]Cloudsurf89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make the decision on your terms and without her consulatation. If you need to talk through it then talk with a male friend who has red pill tendences (not some blue pill bf of one of her friends).

SHE IS NOT TO BE INCLUDED IN THIS DISCUSSION ABOUT YOUR FUTURE.

Your relationship is clearly based on her frame so any discussion with her will end up with you being led (or at the very least heavily influenced) by her agenda.

When it comes to telling her then do it with the frame "I have made MY decision and this is a notification, not a discussion".

Good luck mate

[–]Rares5555 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Best way to break up with someone if you’re living with them:

Rent a separate place elsewhere One day, when she’s gone, pack all your shit up and move it to the other place When she comes home and sees half of the shit missing and you on the couch, say “have a nice trip, it’s over” and leave.

[–]ramfex21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip

[–]BurnieSlander 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Damn dude this was my exact situation 3 years ago.. LTR of 5 years, and she booked a trip to Europe for 5 full weeks while I had been saving coin so we could rent a house together.

I knew she was taking the trip because she wasn’t sure about the relationship- and if you’re not sure after 5 years, it’s time to break up.

When she returned she saw me out with a plate and flipped shit and I just said “You made your decision when you got on the plane”. Bye. She threw a tantrum for a week while I silently moved all my shit out and cut ties.

IMO you and this girl are already broken up. Proceed accordingly and start acquiring plates, lifting like a motherfucker and expanding your social circle. Enjoy your new life!

[–]ramfex21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheers bro!

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]ramfex21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ask myself every day.. I hate feminism and she knows it haha

[–]IronJohnKwando 0 points1 point  (2 children)

you should sit down and break up with her before, and face this like a man. Is this how you plan on handling all of your future issues? Don't puss out and be a little boy about it.

[–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yea I understand.. I am running away from my problems. I’ve done this in the past with jobs and certain friendships. It’s not a good way to go and I do need to work on my ability to deal with confrontation.

[–]friendandadvisor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Running away from your problems is fine. Kind of like running away from an enraged bull: sure, you could be a man and stay and look it in the eye, but...why?

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

[–]ramfex21[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Yea good point... I told her these things leading up to the last time I tried to leave but failed. I told her I’m not interested in Marriage (big argument) I’ve told her I might want kids one day but not sure. We’ve talked about our sex life... tried to fix it but it doesn’t work. There is clearly not much sexual attraction on her or my end. Her actions through lack of sexual interest tells me that she isn’t into me sexually. (Although she says she is) tells me she loves me every day (but that’s easy to say and not mean) And this solo holiday backpacker trip tells me that she doesn’t really care about our relationship or how I feel about her actions. She has even stopped engaging with my immediate family members because one of my relatives (uncle) made light of the fact that she earns more than me currently. All my family thinks I should leave her. She won’t even join me to my parents house for dinner.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I can’t believe this is what I’ve turned into over the past 5 years. I know my decision, and I’m going to stick to it this time. Thanks for all your Advice

    [–]bob13bob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    ist She is a raging feminist We have sex only like once a month and it’s boring sex She is emotionally manipulative

    wtf, break up. nothing else matters.

    [–]throwitdownman -1 points0 points  (5 children)

    If I were you, I would do it RIGHT before she leaves.

    Women have a way of making men feel bad. If you do it while she is away, she’ll call you endlessly, send you messages, etc. After that, she’ll try to arrange a meet up for logistics, then she’ll cry endlessly, etc.

    What you didn’t know is that when she received the message overseas, you were not the only person she was texting, she was also texting huncho from Austria she met that morning.

    Which brings me full circle to my point. If you break up BEFORE she leaves, you would not risk being faced with cuck tears. If you do it after, you must commit to the hard next and have a frame of steal - which tbh is hard to do.

    [–]Republic_of_Ash -1 points0 points  (4 children)

    Way to the feed the paranoia there, Sigmund. What you're suggesting to him is emotional manipulation. I know both men and women do it all the time, but you're asking him to consciously fuck with her head when there is no real reason to do that. That's not how men behave, that's how bitches behave.

    [–]ramfex21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You do make a point

    [–]throwitdownman 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    How is breaking up before she leaves emotional manipulation, but doing so when she is away not? TRP is amoral, given OP’s circumstances (before she leaves vs. when she has left) the first had less baggage to deal with in the long run, and is optimal for OP.

    Personally I would do it face to face but OP does not want to. OP also knows a solo trip is not ok for him, yet she wants to go. So, it’s either breaking up before she leaves or after.

    [–]Republic_of_Ash 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I suggested he do it face to face as well, but telling him to do that just to ruin her holiday is a tad much.

    [–]throwitdownman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You’re missing the point - it’s not to ruin her holiday. It’s to minimise the fallout OP is going to face.

    It is better to go through the drama bs breakup crap before she goes and sluts around, rather than facing her after, when OP will see crocodile tears and experience many other feelings (confusion, betrayal, hypocrisy, sadness, etc).

    Some advise a hard next while she is away, but I know women have a way of somehow arranging one more face to face meet, which will inevitably be drama filled.

    I only recommended the decision with less baggage.