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Just recently I got access to my GF's phone (self.asktrp)

submitted by iskandph

And I feel like such a fucking chump

Apparently she's the kind of girl who would actively message guys on IG seeking attention and maybe dick (ie. S L U T)

And here I was thinking my RP tactics were the main determinant of my success

How to next without making things awkward? She's a wonderful person and I haven't had a single problem with her since the beginning but I can't continue a LTR with such a person

Edit: I couldn't find evidence of attention-seeking behavior after she met me

I checked everything and there was no bullshit after we started dating (or she's hiding it very well)

Edit2: Some of you wanted to know the content of the messages. To sum everything up, she

was saying "I miss you, I miss you in my bed, I miss your D" to guys who would never commit to her

and actively hitting up some social media randos with "your handsome and I want to know you"


[–]BlackMisc 113 points114 points  (10 children)

Downplay the effect his has on you and demote. Make sure you let her hamster spin and dont explain why shes being demoted. The worst you can do is being buthurt over her getting sexual attention from other guys.

[–]cursedflame 6 points7 points  (0 children)

this guy is 100% accurate.

[–]abdout77 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Will she understand that she wa demoted ? And also how do you do it ?

[–]MusicSports 29 points30 points  (3 children)

Who cares what she does or doesn't understand. She definitely doesn't and didn't give a fuck if he understood why she was messaging other guys for dick.

You do it by not giving her any attention, not responding to her messages, and meeting other girls who deserve your attention. Increase SMV and move on.

[–]jackandjill22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She'll figure it out. Girls are hyper conscious of things. She probably has your behaviors all mapped out(how to respond when you're upset etc.). & shell notice the changes/coldness. She'll probably shut-down or get hysterical if she realizes exactly what you know.

[–]missingkey2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is amazing advice and I made the mistake of not following it due to this exact question. Further don't softnext since you have decided that the bitch isn't worth commitment anyways. Consider it over and use her as a free fucktoy.

[–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he meant she messaged other guys BEFORE they got into a LTR

[–]NapalmSunshine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She won’t necessarily realize it’s a demotion but she’ll notice something and tell her friends what a huge D bag he’s being.

[–]Joehogans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So a sort of punishment. This is better than a straight break up you think? Because the more he demotes her (less attention and focus) the more she'll seek attention from these man-whores since she has the abundance on IG.

[–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Word.

[–]kankouillotte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that would be ideal if she was doing this while they had their relationship. But OP said it was before

The only difference in my opinion is now he knows AWALT, she's no unicorn and slutted it out like all the others

[–]Metalageddon 65 points66 points  (19 children)

You're only angry at yourself. You let yourself be duped. Pretty much every girl goes lusting especially when single.

There wasn't anyone who'd commit, so she cast lines and left bait, it didn't work.

Now there's you, by your own admission she cut that immediately, no more casting lines and dropping bait.

Just remember two things.

1) she did lie about her history. 2) she has acted respectfully since she got commitment.

This is part of a smart girls mating strategy. They need a support whose an alpha (ideally). They'll search and search and do all sorts of things, but if you're her alpha right now, the most she'll do is check the grass. If it's greener with you nothing to worry about, if it's not, then plate only.

It's a delicate balance, though it should be much easier if you maintain options and are willing to walk.

If she's sucking your dick at every opportunity and constantly trying to impress you, don't worry about it. Just do you.

If you notice things slipping, something in the equation is bad. Her, or you. You only know you the most, so do you. It'll either correct itself or you'll know she's not worth your commitment, maybe not even your time spent fucking.

[–]BPasFuck 12 points13 points  (11 children)

This right here, OP. Metalgeddon's nailed it.

Long as this chick is fucking you right, you might as well keep at it.

When she stops, that when you will know it's time to end the relationship.

For the time being, she's still acting right, right? Then all is well. Might as well keep her around.

When she stops, you'll know on the basis of this hidden past, that she isn't worth salvaging. That's when you just let 'er go.

[–]iskandph[S] 14 points15 points  (8 children)

yeah, she's acting right and exactly how I want her to act

I just find it amusing that the moment she finds a guy with the right amounts of AF/BB (I'll be a doc in like 2 years) she starts saying she wants to marry me

with such a slutty background

you wish

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Don't marry anyone without a prenup anyway. lol

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Forcetobereckonedwit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    You have to have it done by an attorney...HER attorney. Then iti stands up. Plenty of stupid money but...cheap in the end when she whips out her AWALT card and points the law at you.

    [–]Metalageddon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    They're worth little in the U.S. they can be thrown out for being "unfair". Pretty much the best way to guarantee a stick is to assume even if there's a faithfulness clause in there, that you'll have to give away a good portion. You write that in when you draw it up, then you get less burned. (It can still often be tossed though.)

    Either that, or you need it to be done by HER attorney. Good luck with that.

    [–]DiggerClam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    They're worth nothing in Australia.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]Metalageddon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      People deserve what they've earned.

      Everything else is entitlement.

      [–]kankouillotte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      with such a slutty background

      i don't know if there are girls without nowadays ... never saw one

      [–]beginner_ -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      For the time being, she's still acting right, right?

      Messaging strangers on instagram about their dick is acting right? RIGHT...

      [–]BPasFuck 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      OP says she did all of that before they got together. Reading comprehension, friendo.

      [–]iskandph[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      If she's sucking your dick at every opportunity and constantly trying to impress you, don't worry about it. Just do you.

      And surprisingly enough the relationship is great right now

      Not only do we have the sex I want when, where and how many times I want it but efforts were made for me to meet her family and get along

      I guess the best I can do right now is to chill and if things begin to slip (like you say) it won't even be worth it to prevent the worst

      [–]bob13bob 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      dude, grow up. That behavior was to others before she met you. Unless she was treating other men like zeuss and you like a chump. since she's treating you well and not fuking around, you have nothing to worry about. you're just jealous and butt hurt ego but this is redpill, it's about hard truths.

      She was searching hard for a man, if she found it it.. at least for now.

      [–]Metalageddon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I certainly did miss something important from u/bob13bob, he's right.

      If the other guys were being treated MUCH better than you, that's a flag. You're just a temp or a settlement.

      Classic examples are "I don't do x anymore", or "I only did that to get his approval."

      Huge fucking flags. Sounds like you're in the clear though.

      [–]nabosch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yea but now the hard part is going to be trying to forget he saw his girl's messages. Now his demeanor is going to change and in turn hers. It's a slippery slope from here.

      [–]Joehogans 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      the most she'll do is check the grass. If it's greener with you nothing to worry about, if it's not, then plate only.

      That never goes away does it? No matter the age, you'll always have some doubt that she isn't being faithful to you. Because of that "upgrading" mentality.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Not unless you date down and your SMV is ridiculously higher than hers. So high that no one at your level or above would even consider hitting her up. But would that really make you happy?

      Life isn't fair and the world is mean. Focus on yourself, get your validation from within and seek pleasure from your journey and accomplishments. You can't fully control anyone but yourself. That's the biggest takeaway I've gotten from this sub.

      [–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Nice. That's the right advice. All girls are slumming these days. Don't g nuclear just acknowledge they're low-value & spin the plate. Perhaps even humor the awareness of their thottish behaviors. Don't take it seriously until it directly crosses your boundaries.

      [–]yumyumgivemesome 20 points21 points  (3 children)

      So she was sending these messages before your relationship, but she's been a good girl since you started dating? All you have learned is that your little snowflake isn't actually a little snowflake. Maybe if you actually paid attention to TRP you would have known that. If you like LTRs, you can maintain an LTR with a non-snowflake. Just know what you're getting.

      [–]iskandph[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      yeah, should've expected that when she was that easy to game

      [–]herColdHand 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Oh dude I didn’t realize she all of that before the relationship. That’s really not that bad then if she’s shown you absolute loyalty it doesn’t matter too much what she did in the past. I’d say stay with her. Don’t demote her.

      [–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yes.

      [–]iskandph[S] 55 points56 points  (34 children)

      And I even used some of my money to buy her a fucking necklace recently

      Fuck me

      [–]Speedracer1111 179 points180 points  (4 children)

      Better a necklace than a ring.

      [–]wheresMYsteakAt 30 points31 points  (0 children)

      Best post in this thread.

      [–]iskandph[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      that's true

      [–]jackandjill22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Always have terms attached(to gifts w/e). Whenever you do something like think of it as ROI. & everytime she fails your expectations a liability on her as an assets. Monitor growth appropriately.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My man

      [–]redaftrp 6 points7 points  (4 children)

      Should’ve sprung for the pearl necklace instead of buying her gifts. I didn’t start buying my gf of 3 years anything until she bought be expensive gifts...

      [–]liizzsar -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

      I guess she’s the man in your relationship 🤣

      [–]redaftrp 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      I assume you're joking

      [–]liizzsar 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Nope, looks like you're a kept man. Is your gf much older than you?

      [–]redaftrp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I’m the older of us two. Both of us have been divorced, apparently I’m a keeper, but we’ve discussed the fact that I’m not planning on ever getting married and she is okay with that, for now.

      [–]PhaedrusHunt -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Make the last thing you give her be a pearl necklace. Then ghost. She ain't loyal, bro

      [–]jackandjill22 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      You idiot.

      [–]iskandph[S] 18 points19 points  (28 children)

      I'm reading this shit right now

      FUck me

      [–]mravek 6 points7 points  (26 children)

      So what are the messages about?

      [–]iskandph[S] 19 points20 points  (25 children)

      Having sex with more guys than what she told me about

      Being a s-word with no self-respect who messages guys seeking attention and maybe D

      Typical low-self-esteem millennial who couldn't keep her hypergamy in check

      I gamed her with RP tactics and it was easy AF, but I never imagined it was thanks to her being a s-word

      [–]_Ulan_ 23 points24 points  (6 children)

      Having sex with more guys than what she told me about

      That means she care about her impression on you. If you're just a fuck she wouldn't bother even staying around. If she tries to look less slutty for you then at least you have some hamstering in your favor.

      Getting a woman's full honesty is called the friendzone.

      Being a s-word with no self-respect who messages guys seeking attention and maybe D

      They DO need attention, that's a natural need. Like a horse eats grass, and it's your job to fence the field better.

      [–]askmrcia 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Getting a woman's full honesty is called the friendzone.

      True words right here.

      [–]iskandph[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      If she tries to look less slutty for you then at least you have some hamstering in your favor

      Maybe

      I just do not want to set myself as a BB so early in the game

      [–]_Ulan_ 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Too late : /

      [–]iskandph[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      fuk

      [–]herColdHand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Def don’t be with her long term.

      [–]Joehogans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Good analogy there

      [–]1kick6 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      You got high on your own supply. If she spread for you fast, odds are good she’s spread for others faster.

      [–]iskandph[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      fair enough

      [–]Joehogans 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      s-word lol

      [–]jay_jay_man 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      i'm curious, what did she lead you to believe her guy count was and how much do you think it might be now that you've read her messages?

      [–]iskandph[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      what did she lead you to believe her guy count was and how much do you think it might be now that you've read her messages

      I can't honestly even estimate that

      I'm just afraid I might catch a STD or two from her

      [–]jay_jay_man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      how much did you think it was before?

      [–]mravek 1 point2 points  (9 children)

      Okay but what does she says to guys in those messages?

      [–]iskandph[S] 5 points6 points  (8 children)

      to sum everything up

      saying "I miss you, I miss you in my bed, I miss your D" to guys who would never commit to her

      and she was actively hitting up some randos with "your handsome and I want to know you"

      this shit at 21 is actually pathetic

      [–]ethreax 17 points18 points  (6 children)

      Lol and you are asking us how o fix this? Duuuude, really!!!!? Call a bro of you and ask him to punch you until you wake up from onetisland

      [–]borka3000 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      That sounds like a business plan. Twisted up from some ho? Save yourself and dial a bro!

      [–]iskandph[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

      pathetic right

      [–]mravek 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Demote her to plate status

      [–]empatheticapathetic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Only if he can pull it off effectively.

      [–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Really you didn't? I don't know why guys think of them laces as conquerers. Behaviors are a pattern. Someone's done it with you. They do it often with everyone they meet.

      [–]suzy_sweetheart86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Wait are these messages from before she was even dating you?

      [–]borka3000 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      STOP its over. Just fuck her friends now.

      [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

      I couldn't find evidence of attention-seeking behavior after she met me

      If none of this happened after she got with you, and if she has been good for you since you got together, then there's nothing to do.

      She was seeking out guys. That's what she's supposed to do. You need to accept this.

      [–]iskandph[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      I know

      I just feel a little embarrassed and humiliated by walking with her by my side now

      [–]meaningintragedy 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Completely understandable. She is a slut, a girl with self-respect wouldn't be DMing guys for dick.

      [–]iskandph[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      that's right

      I dated from virgins (whose first kiss was mine) to sluts and this kind kind of behavior is only seem on the latter half of the spectrum

      [–]this_parrot 9 points10 points  (3 children)

      I recently went thru my girls phone and it was a real eye opener. AWALT. Can’t handle it? Next her. My “girl” was telling a instagram model how she wants to visit him, she’ll stay at his place, sleep separate beds. Some guy she met at work trying to take her out, sending heart shape emojis to her best male friend orbiter. It goes on and on. Best advice is to watch her actions. Words are just for comfort.

      [–]iskandph[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      damn I feel you man

      I kinda can handle that but it still sucks

      [–]RexPillerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Would you consider messages actions? Or would that be able I slide.

      [–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      So did you next her?

      [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (12 children)

      It happens bro (AWALT). Downgrade to plate if you can handle that. Remember she’s not yours, it’s just your turn.

      [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (11 children)

      This is the thing

      She's not a cheater neither a bad person

      Actually I haven't seen any problems ever since we began dating exclusively

      Maybe this is an ego problem

      [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

      Don’t make excuses for her. It doesn’t sound like you can handle the reality of things. I would hard next if I was you. Doesn’t sound like you are mentally ready to plate her or even keep her around. Let her go slut around as much as she wants. You are the prize, a man of value needs not excuse his females behavior. Go lift and find new girls.

      [–]jackandjill22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He's buckling. He doesn't have the will to accept it; it's like when Neo first woke up "he's gonna pop".

      [–]wheresMYsteakAt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Bro she is telling guys she has fucked in the past she misses their dick... You are like a week or two away from getting cheated on if it hasn't happened already which it most likely has.

      [–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      You don't need to rationalize a reason to leave. If you don't like it, just leave.

      [–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yea.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]iskandph[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

        she's not cheating lol what I've described are past conversations of her with guys

        [–]Herculius 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Take off the blinders dude. Conversations saying "I miss your D" means she's actively trying to fuck these guys.

        Think if you got a message like that from a chick? If I get a text like that I know I'm in. All you'd have to do is tell her when you're in town and get her to meet up.

        [–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I think he meant those are old messages from before they entered LTR and she is not behaving "perfectly"

        [–]I_STOMP_YOU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Bullshit. Have some self respect for yourself because she has none for you. You're probably lacking abundance because you would have already ghost or plated her already if you did. Start gaming other women now.

        [–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        this is an ego problem

        That's how women talk :) every time something is wrong with a man it's due to his ego. Well same goes for women and their fucking pride...

        Well depends on if you are a believer of "the past is the past" BS.

        But then again, hard to tell from what you wrote. She messaged a couple guys who wouldn't commit to her "I miss you in my bed", but maybe because SHE wanted them to commit (didn't happen lol).

        Well I've been with a girl like that once and ended up breaking up because it turned me down, even though her behaviour was almost perfect. She used to be easy, she showed easy traits, became easy again (though less) after we broke up.

        [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        She’s externally validated, always needs attention, and has few boundaries. Go back and think about what red flags you ignored. Where there’s an iceberg, you saw ice and ignored it. We’ve all been there and had to learn the hard way.

        What do you want to do?

        If my feelings were really strong, I’d break up with her. If they aren’t, I’d continue hooking up with her and plan my exit strategy. Then start talking to other girls.

        [–]damaged_goods420 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        fuck a wedding ring I bought a necklace

        [–]Narcissist456 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Lmfaooo.

        [–]0x9A30D7C49714D98000 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Apparently she's the kind of girl who would actively message guys on IG seeking attention and maybe dick (ie. S L U T)

        She's a wonderful person

        yep sounds like it

        [–]SovereignSoul76 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        You're all twisted up, mate. "She's a great person....no, she's a slut!...no she's lovely!..."

        Here's the thing: what you found is fucking EXTREMELY MILD compared to what most guys find (including myself about 3.5 years ago)....yes, seriously. Understand a few things:

        1) Do more reading. You'll find that what you're experiencing is not all that surprising nor unique. When you understand the current social environment, personal incentives, and evolutionary biology, you understand why these things happen. AWALT.

        2) Don't take it personally. I know, I know, sounds dumb. But it's in their nature to want it all (BB provider, AF dick).

        3) Even being an Alpha/Chad is not without risk and/or sucks sometimes. Try not to be too jealous of these guys.

        This may hurt now....but not as much as losing $200K worth of savings, your house, $100K in lawyer fees, and rarely seeing your future kids.

        Suck it up. Suffer silently. Become stronger. Learn how to play the game with the surgical precision and foresight that only a man can bring to the table.

        [–]iskandph[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        1) Do more reading. You'll find that what you're experiencing is not all that surprising nor unique. When you understand the current social environment, personal incentives, and evolutionary biology, you understand why these things happen. AWALT.

        what's even worse bro is that I'm reading TRP since 2015

        I should've known better

        [–]Mister-guy 12 points13 points  (16 children)

        First off, how old are you? If you're under 30, fuck being in an LTR, regardless of what she did. You should be casually dating chicks and spinning plates, even if this chick is cool.

        Secondly, if you feel the need to go though her phone, neither one of you are LTR material (at least, not yet).

        My advice: demote her to plate, start talking to other chicks, and go lift (if you aren't already).

        [–]iskandph[S] 5 points6 points  (15 children)

        21 yo

        I would love to spin plates but I'm already loaded with med school. Plate management is too much trouble for me and I have my career to care about

        Secondly, if you feel the need to go though her phone, neither one of you are LTR material (at least, not yet).

        Do you think so? There was recently a discussion at r/TRP about it and most endorsed agreed with "trust, but verify"

        That's something I do as well, I don't want to waste my time

        demote her to plate

        That's the thing, I have everything I've ever wanted in this LTR (except my ego fix)

        start talking to other chicks, and go lift

        already do

        [–]Mister-guy 2 points3 points  (13 children)

        Hey, good for you man. Sounds like you have a great career ahead of you. Stay strong and focused there.

        In my experience, gf's tend to drain more time and energy than spinning plates. But I was quite the chump when I had a gf, and let her control my schedule too much. Perhaps you're stronger there.

        And you are correct, trust and verify is the best approach. IMO snooping through her phone may be taking it a bit too far (i.e. usually if you feel the need to do that, things are already fucked), but hey, I guess you got some valuable information.

        There's no point in being in an LTR unless you're going to marry the chick. Your SMV is going to skyrocket once you get that PhD and you are earning six-figures practicing medicine. Then you can be as picky as you'd like.

        Overall it sounds like you're going about 100x better than most guys your age. So keep it up and stay focused on school.

        [–]iskandph[S] 2 points3 points  (12 children)

        usually if you feel the need to do that, things are already fucked

        This is mostly myself being paranoid

        Got out of a HORRIBLE relationship last year and I'm still somewhat scarred

        But my now-GF has not shown any red flags during the 4 months we've been exclusive. I just feel the need to check things and when I find nothing I feel horrible afterwards

        [–]Mister-guy 0 points1 point  (10 children)

        Yup we've all been there.

         not shown any red flags during the 4-months we've been exclusive
        

        What exactly was she messaging these dudes on IG?

        [–]iskandph[S] 1 point2 points  (9 children)

        to sum it all up, she was basically saying "I miss you, I miss you in my bed, I miss your D" to some guys who would obviously never commit to such an easy catch and also actively hitting up some social media randos with "your handsome and I want to know you"

        [–]Mister-guy 1 point2 points  (8 children)

        Ah fuck man. That's a bit worse than I thought based on your initial post.

        You're obviously a smart guy with a bright future in front of you, you know what to do.

        And in case you don't, that's a HARD next. No explanation to her is necessary.

        Hopefully you can still return that necklace.

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children)

        hard-nexting becomes kinda hard when her family likes you a lot and you start to get attached to them as well

        I got quite a situation it seems

        [–]Mister-guy 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Yeah, in practice these ideas are often much more complicated than when you just read about them on the internet.

        Keep in mind that she's the one in the wrong, and was caught slooting around. Dont let that male hamster take over (e.g. "All she did was message guys on IG, she never actually cheated"). You have nothing to feel guilty about here.

        No matter how you break up with her, she's gonna spin it to her friends and family to put you in the wrong. Girls are great at that.

        Good luck, my man.

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        thank you for the answers and for the input

        I truly appreciate it

        [–]PhaedrusHunt 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        I know this is been asked already but to be clear, was she sending these messages AFTER you two were exclusive?

        As far as her family, fuck it. Next them too. She'll come up with some explanation.

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        I know this is been asked already but to be clear, was she sending these messages AFTER you two were exclusive?

        Yes! This was probably a doubt of many people here

        [–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        "trust, but verify"

        I am 35 and also check on girls phones discretely every time I have a chance

        [–]jb_trp 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        She's a wonderful person

        she was saying "I miss you, I miss you in my bed, I miss your D" to guys who would never commit to her and actively hitting up some social media randos with "your handsome and I want to know you"

        Does. Not. Compute.

        [–]cl3537 14 points15 points  (2 children)

        If you are giving her great sex she has no need to stray. If you aren't read Sex God Method and learn.

        You are jealous, insecure, and worried about her cheating. You betrayed her privacy to satisfy your low self esteem and insecurity.

        You found nothing and still you are talking about it, if I were you I'd delete this thread and make sure you are giving her good D then work on those self esteem issues and in that order.

        [–]iskandph[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        this is the answer I needed actually

        [–]sbh88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        This is definitely what you needed to hear.

        [–]SpinPlates 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        was saying "I miss you, I miss you in my bed, I miss your D" to guys who would never commit to her

        Sounds like it's your turn to never commit.

        Tell her it's over. Tell her you don't have anything to say. No matter how much she begs don't give her the satisfaction why you're leaving.

        [–]I_STOMP_YOU 3 points4 points  (3 children)

        Pretty much the reality for any girl with a public profile on Instagram. Red flag city if their profile isn't private. Sorry you had to learn the hard way

        [–]iskandph[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Red flag city if their profile isn't private

        you got it right

        [–]BraindeadIQ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Can you explain why having public profile is a red flag? Is it to get more external validation?

        [–]I_STOMP_YOU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Is it to get more external validation?

        For 90% of the women you meet yes. The other 10% are trading recipes and pictures of their pet outfits. Know the difference.

        [–]Self-honest 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        Good job man. Proud of ya. Just tell her things aren't working out and go bang other girls.

        Become one of these guys:

        saying "I miss you, I miss you in my bed, I miss your D" to guys who would never commit to her

        All you have to do is smoothly back away. Ghost. And a few months from now you've got yourself a nice slutty plate to allow back into your bedroom from time to time.

        [–]iskandph[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        this is one of my plans

        she'll probably be mad AS FUCK if she loses a catch like me but whatever

        [–]Self-honest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Good. Just stay strong when you pull the trigger and it will work out great

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        Jesus, reading the anger mode spergs flip their shit when they clearly didnt bother to read the post is fucking painful.

        As far as OP os concerned, buckle up if you're waiting for that chick who was totally honest about her past. At least she knew when to switch gears. You sound like a wounded child who discovered unicorns arent real. Unicorns are just horses with makeup and a press release.

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        You sound like a wounded child who discovered unicorns arent real

        That sums up pretty well my mental state right now

        [–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        We all go through this at some point :)

        [–]mars-awake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        women NEVER give full disclosure and they lie. Don't know you or fully understand your situation, but think about just moving on

        [–]HannibalBacara 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        I understand how you feel but if all these messages were from before you were going out why are you mad?

        Maybe because you thought she was “different” than everyone else you had dated in the past. Remember AWALT.

        If her sending sexual messages to guys before you were even dating makes you so angry then demote or break up. I know this attention seeking behavior shatters your image of her but realistically almost every girl does this shit.

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I don't know dude

        I know AWALT and hypergamy but some women do have some understanding of self-respect

        Not all of them would engage in such low-value behavior, that shit is for creeps

        I dated from virgins (whose first kiss was mine) to sluts and this kind kind of behavior is only seem on the latter half of the spectrum

        [–]xrorox_rp 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Her past is totally unimportant period.

        You should not be concerned about her cheating on you in the first place. That don't matter. The only thing that matter is that she is on her best behavior for you. If she isn't, demote or next. If she is, reward intermittently.

        It would have been easier for you to keep her as a plate or to make it an open LTR.

        But that's not the problem. The problem is outcome independance, work on it.

        The spirit of the Redpill is to see the world as it is, so you can be as happy as possible. Even marriage did not prevented some of our forefathers from being Redpilled. Keep working on the basics.

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You should not be concerned about her cheating on you in the first place. That don't matter. The only thing that matter is that she is on her best behavior for you. If she isn't, demote or next. If she is, reward intermittently

        Surprisingly enough our relationship is great

        I'm just the one being a paranoid fuck it seems

        [–]CommanderCumlord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Fuck OP I feel for you dawg. Just when everything seemed awesome there is a glaring dick of reality just fucking a gaping hole in your fantasy.

        Like others said, tell her you think you guys should split up. Better to walk away now and hurt knowing this then sleep with one eye open until her lust takes full control and she’s got more cock in her mouth than yours.

        This just frightens me with girls I’m dating. You think everything is great and meanwhile they’re living a double life of hypergamy on the fucking internet. It’s really sad.

        I love how society has created the trope of the loner virgin guy online having virtual relationships and laughing at him, and here all these girls are veiling the same thing on Instagram. Not even, because they’re oftentimes in relationships! Totally sick

        [–]chasebandz01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        dude how can you possibly rationalize remaining in a relationship with her? dump her and only interact with her if she's trying to come over and get used. this is ridiculous. she's a garden variety whore.

        [–]Forcetobereckonedwit 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        "I miss you, I miss you in my bed, I miss your D" to guys who would never commit to her

        and actively hitting up some social media randos with "your handsome and I want to know you"

        Damn...sorry to hear. AWALT reigns supreme. Do what you have to. EDIT: wait...all of her slutty crap was before she met you? Hmmmm.... You may want to ride this one out for awhile. None of that sounds out of the ordinary for a 20 yr old chick in the US these days, I'm sorry to say. Give her some slack and see how it goes. Make sure you can get back in her cell in a couple months and you'll know.

        [–]iskandph[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Yea

        Most guys' opinions align with yours

        I'll just watch for a while

        [–]bickisnotmyname 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        You're over reacting. She's not done anything like that since you started, which means she's commited to you (for now, which is all u ever really get). Man up, get over it, and carry on. If you can't handle the fact that your girl likes sex just as much as you, then you have a lot of work to do pal.

        [–]Voshe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Don't date sluts, just don't. It's fun now and you're getting what you're after. But that will soon stop. I know it seems like everybody's repeating themselves when we say plate her, but we're viewing this critically while your judgement will be clouded.

        Do yourself a favor and start looking for a low n count girl.

        [–]AshyBoneVR4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This legitimately made me laugh out loud....

        Apparently she's the kind of girl who would actively message guys on IG seeking attention and maybe dick (ie. S L U T)

        and then

        She's a wonderful person and I haven't had a single problem with her

        You see it right? Who gives a fuck how she reacts, who cares about things becoming awkward. Be straight forward with her, or don't. Tell her you don't want to be with her anymore and that's that. You don't owe her anything else. Move on.

        Ok wait... I just read your edits.

        So She stopped doing everything you wrote about in your edit2 AFTER you guys got together right? Ok, cool, so she's a slut who knows how to behave. Realize that she may get bored with you or she may have just realized how to hide her shit better. Either way, you don't really have a reason to break up with her yet. Don't get too attached to this girl, get your life set up to bail/abort mission at the drop of a dime, and just keep doing what you're doing. As soon as you start to see red flags, jump ship.

        [–]ShotgunTRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Wait.... she said this stuff BEFORE you started dating???

        Dude you need to leave this ltr and date some girls

        [–]RichHomieJan 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Bro look at how many threads you made about her, you’re the problem

        [–]iskandph[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        We're all the problem

        [–]_Ulan_ 3 points4 points  (11 children)

        What - sexting people is an issue to you ? She will get attention elsewhere if you haven't provided enough.

        Sounds like a little onetis there. The best remedy would be to game other girls and fuck some if you wish to. Then you can enjoy the remaining with your GF time and fuck her hard til she either leave for a better caring betabux (and many necklaces), or think you suddenly became the man she needs.

        When she does, get the necklace back : )

        [–]iskandph[S] 5 points6 points  (10 children)

        sexting people is an issue to you

        Not too much, I just feel like a chump for LTRing a slut who hid well enough her things from me

        She will get attention elsewhere if you haven't provided enough

        I do provide the attention and the D, she doesn't need it from anyone else

        think you suddenly became the man she needs

        I was probably indulging in some BP fantasies of taking things further with her

        [–]_Ulan_ 3 points4 points  (3 children)

        I just feel like a chump for LTRing a slut who hid well enough her things from me

        It's a thin line to walk on. I personally am not interested in the "little saint" kind of girl that TRP recommends LTR-ing. Slightly slutty girls are usually smarter, less boring, more creative and better in bed.

        If you stick deep in your brain that she is not the LTR of the rest of your life (it's just your turn) then you can enjoy a nice ride with a slutty girl.

        I do provide the attention and the D, she doesn't need it from anyone else

        It's never something easy to judge by yourself. Yet even with all the checkboxes ticked, she will want to taste a different fruit after a while.

        She only loves you as long as you are the most attractive man she can get. Take it as a motivating challenge but don't mind failing.

        About your initial question : I personally don't like admitting breaking into someone's privacy. If she still care for you and your bedroom is not dead, then keep living as usual and look for real signs. If you get a chance to catch her red handed then it is the best occasion to either obtain her full commitment, or dump her for good.

        Confronting her as a cheater is bad - as she'd rather leave you than admit being hypergamous. However catching a lie related to her cheating (lie on her location ? lie on a guy's indentity ?) is the best occasion to put the foot down, prove a certain dominance and assert that liars don't deserve any care. Make it clear that she is in trouble.

        In this situation you don't want to only "look" authoritative, but to actually push her boundaries. Depending on how to treat her normally, you can choose different way to make sure she feels demoted : Take back her presents if any, physically dominate her, withdraw attention, put any plans on hold ... As long as you don't look personally butthurt, that you look like you have other options than her and that you are someone worthy of being chased.

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        thanks for the input

        I guess I'll take it easy but still look for real signs of bullshit

        This relationship is still inside my frame and she's the one who's usually afraid of me leaving

        [–]_Ulan_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Don't forget to look for signs of commitment and reward those as well (less reward than withdraw always). Else you become a paranoiac prick, to the point where she'll prefer a BB.

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        do you even think this relationship is viable as it is after reading the messages' content and after what I exposed here?

        I'm starting to doubt that

        [–]mountainbiker178 1 point2 points  (5 children)

        I do provide the attention and the D, she doesn't need it from anyone else

        Your GF's behavior says otherwise

        [–]iskandph[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

        well, she did it in the past

        that's why I put the word "would" in my post

        I checked everything and there was no bullshit after she met me (or she's hiding it very well)

        [–]wheresMYsteakAt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Wait... These are messages from before you guys were dating? If so, they all are sluts. Checking phones will make you paranoid .

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I'm already paranoid it seems

        [–]mountainbiker178 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        So, what are you going to do with her?

        [–]iskandph[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        probably check myself for any STDs and next

        [–]Trtntrenbrah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        she’s a wonderful person

        Quit hamstering her behavior.

        She isn’t yours......just your turn. Plate or next.

        [–]throwitdownman 1 point2 points  (6 children)

        Holy shit, the content of those messages are scarring. For your own mental health, dump her. Or cheat on her while stringing her along.

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

        I'm pretty sad right now actually

        [–]Shredderick420 1 point2 points  (4 children)

        I know what u feel, went through one of my ex's phone and all the gut feelings turned out to be true, everything shooked inside it fucking eats u inside a bit. Reading all these awalt stories make really not that enthusiastic about LTRs. Oh man, do you have other women in sight potential plates etc?

        [–]iskandph[S] -1 points0 points  (3 children)

        I actually have some other women that do want my D but the emotional investment is what hurts the most

        I know I'm just being a faggot tho

        [–]PhaedrusHunt 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        I know I'm just being a faggot tho

        Don't shit on yourself for catching feels. It's normal and natural.

        Honestly, you're really young. This is an opportunity to meet more women.

        But ask yourself, have you never sent or received messages like that?

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        I don't usually like to sext but I've received some of those messages

        The problem is the emotional investment coming in the way of my rational thoughts

        [–]PhaedrusHunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        If you haven't ghosted, start some sexy texting with her. It can be fun!

        [–]RAiderNat88 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Apparently she's the kind of girl who would actively message guys on IG seeking attention and maybe dick

        She's a wonderful person

        You contradict yourself bro

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Not mutually exclusive

        [–]1RPLawyer 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        I don't know how new you are to TRP, but your story is a must-read for every noob here who read the sidebar diagonally once and are proclaiming that they "swallowed the red pill".

        You just swallowed the red pill because it was forced down your throat by a woman you thought you could trust.

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I just thought I found myself a nice snowflake despite being here since 2015

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        thanks for the great advice

        and dont ever fall for a bitch again before you learn how to vet people

        this was maybe the biggest problem in this situation

        [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (5 children)

        How to next without making things awkward? She's a wonderful person and I haven't had a single problem with her since the beginning but I can't continue a LTR with such a person

        She's not yours, it's just your turn.

        Keep options open elsewhere. DO NOT BE BETA. The sluttier she is, the less she respects beta/provider behaviour.

        [–]iskandph[S] -1 points0 points  (4 children)

        Keep options open elsewhere. DO NOT BE BETA

        Would it even be feasible to keep her as a LTR right now?

        she'll probably be mad AS FUCK if she loses a catch like me if I demoted her but whatever

        [–]meaningintragedy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Would it even be feasible to keep her as a LTR right now?

        Get rid of your oneitis.

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        so it is unfeasible

        [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        All this is your choice

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        of course

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

        [–]iskandph[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I don't know dude

        I know AWALT and hypergamy but some women do have some understanding of self-respect

        Not all of them would engage in such low-value behavior, that shit is for creeps

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is probably a ego problem, I've already noticed that

        But I don't know dude

        I know AWALT and hypergamy but some women do have some understanding of self-respect

        Not all of them would engage in such low-value behavior, that shit is for creeps

        I dated from virgins (whose first kiss was mine) to sluts and this kind kind of behavior is only seem on the latter half of the spectrum

        I mean, I also used do DM girls hoping to hookup when I was 16 and unaware

        My bitch is 22 now

        [–]nofilmynofucky 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        And here I was thinking my RP tactics were the main determinant of my success

        It's a very taboo subject on here so I'm going to get downvoted but there is no amount of value uou can gain which will keep a woman loyal to you

        If it can happen to Brad Fucking Pitt, it can happen to any of us

        [–]iskandph[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        true

        [–]Zormutoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        She's not your GF, it's just your turn. - Tattoo it on your palm and look at it in a moment of doubt.

        [–]Lucas_Karmahitme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Please ghost her