Should you even bother with girls while getting ur s*** together? (self.asktrp)

submitted by lilstxn

Just got a job, getting a gym membership in 2 paychecks, a car in about 6 months, and going back to school in a year or so, at this point should I even be trying to get girls?

[–]TRPanalyst 113 points114 points  (1 child)

Doesn’t hurt to just mess around, to just flirt, attract, and improve game.

Just do what you gotta do and don’t listen to false judgment, you’re improving.

[–]dongpal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, never stop messing around with girls no matter what circumstances. But be aware that you get a lot of rejection (depending on how good your social skills and looks are)

[–]drqxx 45 points46 points  (1 child)

It's always good to sharpen your sword.

[–]PlatavsPlomo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And a sword needs a sheath from time to time.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 71 points72 points  (3 children)

Yes. You're a man, it's your birthright and sacred duty to hit on sexy ladies in your vicinity. It's irrelevant if you don't succeed, sometimes they just shoot everybody down. That's just women. There's no problem with not having much success, in fact it'll shape you up quickly. The big mistake is to stop playing the bigger game "while you wait" out of cowardice and want for more safety, do not accept anything that requires you to let go of your birthright as a man. It's a variation on progressive bluepill self-delusion, where you postpone living "until you're ready". No, that's a big mistake - you're already in the fight, keep swinging all the way.

The ladies out there literally need you for their survival, emotional survival at the very least. They need you to be a complete man all the way, even while you're working on yourself like an artist on his clay. And you're more than capable of providing that level of service, so don't shirk it.

[–]Verificus 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Would you say monk mode is a variation on progressive bluepill self-delusion as well then?

[–]rp_newdawn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Monk mode entails not investing time into women so that you can use that time on yourself. In no way does it preclude flirting with cute girls in the Starbucks line or testing out the power of eye contact or asking for numbers just to see if you can get them.

A blue pill man and a veteran red will approach monk mode very differently.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretty much. While useful as a concept to explain how radical you got to be to cut out blue pill influences, monk mode is a silly reddit idea that won't help you much and will hurt you if you get stuck in it for too long. Which is easy to do, since every old blue pill inclination will drag you in that "don't show your face until you're fully ready" direction. This is millenial escapism by postponement, their blue pill philosophy of living. It's not red pill to try and save yourself from grief or necessary risk. It adverts that you're being controlled by a fear that you're not fully conscious of, and that is a problem if you're looking for mastery over yourself.

Think of it this way, sometimes untrained horses need blinkers on their eyes so that they can pull carts around without getting scared by other horses on their flanks too much. If you're not one of these scaredy horses to begin with, the safety blinders for you are just a silly reddit fashion statement.

It's mostly useful as a concept because it's easy to explain to everybody roughly what's going on with few words: "been monk mode last 2 months" and such. Works fine in that role. Don't mistakenly take it for something serious and deep.

I once read that in old time Christian monasteries the abbot would kick out all suspected escapists among the new monk inductees. It was felt that escapism is not a valid reason to enter the monastery and no benefit to man or God would ever come of it. While the social environment we exist in these days resembles a toxic waste dump with poison everywhere, and the impulse to escape it somehow is only natural ... it's really just a thin layer that rests upon the massive unchangeable bedrock of life itself. This bedrock or life itself is the ultimate monk mode, ultimate monastery to enter without ever leaving your fellows that maybe only know the swamp, or abandoning all the women who truly need you out there. You have no idea how much they need you, and they are not smart enough to always be able to verbalize that need themselves.

[–]Fun2badult 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just because you’re not going into a battle yet, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be practicing your sword skills

[–]TheBrokenRuler 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'd say practice your skills on girls but ONLY as a secondary- never let it take your focus away from lifting and learning.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

at this point should I even be trying to get girls?

Yes, don't go rusty on this

[–]KilluaKanmuru 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Men have attracted women with less.

[–]fidelred01 8 points9 points  (11 children)

Is not having a car a huge issue in gaming girls? This is one of my current excuses as to not really starting trp.

[–]lilstxn[S] 21 points22 points  (10 children)

For me it is since I have to Uber everywhere it’s not fun paying $18 to get to a date, pay for that date, then pay $18 to get home especially since I just got a job that’s like minimum wage.

[–]34380 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just got a job that’s like minimum wage.

That's the problem.

[–]russelln 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe just go out less frequently, but make it count. Like one weekend you can pay for a decent outing, and the next focus on your hobbies and self improvement.

[–]fidelred01 5 points6 points  (5 children)

I’m in almost the same predicament, got a job two years ago, still working there making minimum wage....sigh. 19yo and still have yet to save enough for a car. Started seriously saving a few months back however.

Don’t blow your first year of income on materials and going out every weekend....it’s useless!

[–]lilstxn[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Thanks for the advice I’m 19 too and I really am hoping to get at least a very cheap car for right now

[–]FearGarbhArMait 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Take a bus or other public transportation. It costs significantly less and you don't earn enough to justify uber.

[–]123undeuxtrois123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

buy a bicycle if your city terrain is flat.

[–]ReformSociety 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about a moped/scooter?

[–]cameroncampian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Damn I’m in the exact situation as you guys. No car, started working out and dieting (lost 11 lbs), starting a business, reading like crazy.

I personally have been taking a break from women isolating myself to work on my business, but it’s odd to see a unanimous decision here.

I guess improving your game, sexual performance, etc is self-improvement in its own sense.. And this thread has made me take a different perspective.

But to me I can’t help but feel the time lost is too much of a liability. Let me know what you end up doing, I’m interested to see how it goes. And if it doesn’t hinder your personal improvement too much.

[–]ghosts_of_me 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cars are expensive too it just comes in big chunks you gotta be ready for.

[–]KilluaKanmuru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't do that ever again.

[–]Threwuhway 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is a great question. I'm recently single and slowly getting my shit together. I'm focusing on running daily, and eating healthy. I think things will come together but it just takes time, and right now I'm not focusing on girls - just me.

I think going out and trying to talk to girls would be a good idea for both of us. There's no harm if we get rejected but at least we're getting out there!

My advice (which I should follow) is to go out with some friends and chat up a few girls. Who knows what happens and you don't have to pay for a date just the uber home if you're lucky.

[–]mrpoopistan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. Because, seriously, it's possible to walk and chew bubble gum at the same time.

Also, don't make excuses for not seeking what you want.

[–]NewBoomAction 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah you should. I'd just like to add I've had good success treating some high smv girls as an actual friend. I doubt I'll fk these girls but I look g as fk when I can invite some baddies to whatever party I'm at.

The other girls notice and the homies respect you. Plus it gets you more invites to cool shit.

[–]bluechipmonk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

my biggest regret was not playing when I was getting my s** together. Girls would flirt and approach me and I'd push them away.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 6 points7 points  (0 children)


Not because you expect to have great success, but for practice.

[–]Driadek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It may be a lack of self discipline but I find it much easier to stay on track to self improvement when I'm talking to girls and much easier to slip up and slack off when I'm feeling more lonely without attention

[–]Lurker9898 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who's to say, really? It depends on what you value. If you just want to focus on, improving and enjoying your own life and don't value sex, there's not much cause to mess around with girls. If you hold pussy high on the pedestal of priorities and long-term goals, then eventually you will be hunting for sexy ladies. You should always keep in mind that they want you because you have that nice car, paycheck and all things that can potentially be theirs to enjoy. Once that well runs dry, they're hunting for another guy. Keep that wealth to yourself and use it on guy things. Nevertheless, if your long-term goal is to attract ladies after becoming successful, then it never hurts to improve your game. Remember, this is the #metoo era of false-rapes after all. Listen and believe. Remember that the car is expensive as well and you will have to be taking care of it. The gym membership needs to be renewed and you need to buy rent and food and you're living from paycheck to paycheck. Where's the money for her restaurant dates or fancy new purses?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A little fun now and again is fine. Once it starts occupying more time than your mission, you’ve got problems.

[–]Ironhead101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thought about this the other day, came to the conclusion that you only have more to gain from it and nothing to lose. What you can gain is more information about what worked and what didn't. Then once you feel like you have gotten your life together, you'll have more knowledge and experience to improve your success rate. But really, don't over complicate things to where you come up with excuses about why you shouldn't be trying to get girls. After a while, gaming girls should become a habit.

[–]sometimespredictable 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fat unemployed losers who do nothing to change their situation get laid sometimes. You are working on your life, that means you are much better off than those people and there is nothing keeping you from getting girls.

A big self improvement lie is that you have to have a super solid life to get a girl. That's simply wrong and is a self-limiting belief.

[–]abudun79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know, that are pretty nice plans. But everything except for your job isn't there yet. So do you want to sit down, jerk off and wait until your dreams come true instead of getting laid?

[–]El_Serpiente_Roja 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some guys will say yes some will say no. My advice is no, get comfortable with yourself first..build your surplus..females will only drain that.

[–]beachbbqlover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A smart move at this point is to consider whether you want to get a vasectomy or not. Yes, of course you still wear a condom, but this is about legally protecting the rest of your life.

[–]bannedfromWTFmod 2 points3 points  (0 children)


Always game, the rejection you can use as motivation to strive to better yourself.

[–]epiigram30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go for the body, and the head will follow. Strive for success, and you know what's next.

[–]BrownLeatherShoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah man definitely try, as you're growing mentally even just having one around for a short amount of time will give you loads of experience. Keep on pal

[–]2comment 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me it is since I have to Uber everywhere it’s not fun paying $18 to get to a date, pay for that date, then pay $18 to get home especially since I just got a job that’s like minimum wage.

Then the answer is no. Focus on yourself until you're not paying for dates.

[–]Us3rn4m321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not until you're finished reading The Sidebar. Otherwise, you probably going to make mistakes that will distract and drain you.

[–]woodquest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same questioning. In a phase where i needed money education and getting in shape.

So i got a few girls, making a point not to pay nor "invest" , strictly obvious fuckdates with close to 100% exit rate after the least amount of tinder chat. I got quite good at that.

Even with that "minimalist setup", i still had to find it in myself how to pick her up. Be it telling her the first shit that comes out, it's still an investment. And then showup in a bar, maybe have some wine, maybe pay a part. And then spend a rather sleepless night.

For me, i's still time energy and money consuming. puts me out of balance for my mission. It's so easy to have a few more drinks, spend my gym money on wine. Then It feels great and because it feels great i get hooked so quickly on the gamble aspect of digging more girls from tinder with the least amount of effort.

To the point where i just collect girls wanting to meet or giving their number and then ignore them.

So, for me now, girls are a very distracting and rather costly game, even if playing Chad the funny plummer. But everyone could be different i guess, so check for yourself and see if you can juggle easy between chicks and your mission.

[–]bpjsdrp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Remember man, your happiness comes first before anything external from you. As you improve, everything else will follow.

I'm actually going through this right now. Decided to get a second full time job that will skyrocket me in my field in terms of skillet. At the same time, I decided to talk/see this woman. While I decide to spend some time with her, the mission comes first. If she falls off, then just gotta move forward.

[–]Dark_Lord_A 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I won't. But then again I don't think any of you guys need as much work as I do.

[–]02537-41101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not for relationships.

[–]boy_named_su 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On one side, it's tough to get rejected. On the other, it's a good challenge to try and game chicks when you're not quite there yet.

I would try being friendly and chatting girls up. Don't worry about the outcome, just work on the process

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, be outcome independent though. You don't have to worry so much about the # close, kiss close, or f close, just talk to them and tease them. Get used to interacting with them and learning their ticks. It will strengthen your game for when it's time flash your big SMV dick socially.

[–]cptgoatsack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd avoid relationships and just concentrate on having some ONS/Plates.

[–]OfficerWade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hONESTLY, this should be a rule in this community so here goes. Get your shit together but at the same time your doing all of this, pay attention to the way you interact with people. Watch yourself get upset by whats happening and excited, happy, sad, etc. just as you go about your day and notice when theres something wrong you can remind yourself that im just in the matrix and this is all an illusion. Hope this helps, brother.

[–]wataDs -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you can manage accessing the confident part of your character when the chips are down, you will improve more thoroughly. If you dont work on it, no amount of muscle and money will grant it to you. Take it from me.