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Can someone listen to me vent? (self.asktrp)

submitted by Wedontbelieveyourlie

girlfriend told me she was going to be hanging out with her ex boyfriend who cheated on her because they have been through a lot together, and she said she cares about him as a friend

It really fucked me up I gave nothing but love and attention to this girl and she's hanging out with her ex

I said "my girl won't be hanging out with her ex" and she said that he means a lot to her

I said goodbye, and then she cried for a bit and begged me to stay, I so badly wanted to come back, but we all know she's probably taking his cock

I guess what bothers me the most is that she's going to be doing all the same things that we said we were going to do with another man, and I'm quite the loser tbh, I don't know if I'm going to find a girl ever again

This was my first relationship and I was crying all morning the day after she broke up

I really just needed to vent a bit, thanks for reading

Did i make the right call guys? How do I get over knowing she's going to be with some other man soon, how do I move on this really hurts


[–]DiggerClam 107 points108 points  (3 children)

She's going to hang out with her ex's cock.

You did good man; hurts but being a cuck hurts more.

Cry all you want; get pizza and play video games with the bros this weekend. Next week, take on the world.

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 42 points43 points  (2 children)

Fuck yeah dude, it's the first time I've felt so bad

[–]Metalageddon 18 points19 points  (0 children)

More power to what OC said. Take your moment to recoup, then address the world one step at a time, boldly.

You'll do fine champ.

You should also read glo's comment. It's a painful truth for 99.7% of women, actually just people in general.

[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 178 points179 points  (7 children)

All girls that age are clones of each other. Their just walking vaginas that repeat everything they hear and finger fuck their I Phones. When you replace her the biggest difference you will notice is her brand of perfume.

[–]wiredtobeweird 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Pure gold.

[–]Acquin 15 points16 points  (0 children)

As much as you try to deviate from AWALT, you just can't. AWALT is on TRP for a reason.

[–]1RedPillFusion 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This becomes so much simpler when you think of yourself as the hiring manager of a profitable and prestigious firm. These chicks are applicants, and they are replaceable.

Even the summa cum laude HBS grad can easily be replaced, often by a sharp state school applicant.

They are competing for that job, and you are the gatekeeper. This is true in many dimensions.

They will lie about their skills and even background when you are interviewing them.

They will be hyper focused on the image they are projecting, to their own detriment (being your ability to exploit this weakness and savviness in reading between the lines).

If and when you hire them, you will eventually begin to see what kind of worker they are and what their contribution will be to your firm's bottom line.

Under risk of losing something they want, they will spare no recourse. The fangs come out.

[–]damaged_goods420 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Damn are you a writer?

[–]shamy113 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hahahaha

[–]Valkuil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed it is the perfume which makes all the difference, dr. Freeman.

[–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. This 100% accurate. It's actually sad when you get a clear picture of it. & the vanity bro it's crazy.

[–]Docbear64 23 points24 points  (3 children)

I don't know if I'm going to find a girl ever again

I was a loser for a long time and thought like this too .... then I met a new girl ... then another one after that one ... and another after that one . You have to give yourself more credit than you are , yeah it sucks that she is choosing to go back to her ex but you attracted her in the first place. There were qualities about you she valued and valued enough to fuck you .

I get how this being your first relationship you can feel a lot of despair over it but You'll meet a new chick and believe it or not she may be cuter and better behaved than the one you just broke up with but you increase your chances of that happening by becoming a better man .

I know it hurts, I've been in the same shoes that's when you work out , start working on a hobby , and doing things in your free time . Time will heal those wounds dude but fixating on her and the relationship won't do anything to help you .

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You're right I should probably go hang out with people and do fun and dumb shit I did when I was younger

[–]dontbedenied 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Great advice...I needed to hear this too. I beat myself up so much for my Ex losing interest in me, and I constantly compared myself to her Ex (I still struggle with this even though I broke up with her months ago).

But she did see some qualities in me..she said she loved me and she tried hard to keep me when I left her. It's not healthy to let her define my worth to any extent, but I do deserve credit for attracting her.

[–]Docbear64 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Absolutely dude and if you can attract one and you're at least the same man or better than you were before then you can definitely attract another . Happy hunting .

[–]Mudpielol 17 points18 points  (4 children)

The possibility of cheating always exists. Think about it, it happens to famous high SMV males as well. You can't control other people, only thing you can control is yourself, so only thing you can do is be the best version of yourself.

You are suffering because you were convinced that is not true. Learn to accept it. Move on. You've learned a lesson, use it well. There's plenty of women around.

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yeah I was convinced that I made a mistake but I'm pretty sure I didn't, I guess breaking up with her on my own terms is better than her dumping me when she realises she loves him

[–]cnzs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You didn't; In a weird way just knowing your part of the community makes me feel proud of you.

[–]dontbedenied 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Man, I never thought of it that way...even men of the highest SMV get cheated on and select low value women for LTRs. I'm not as big a loser as I thought.

[–]TRP_MushaShugyo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Both Brad Pitt and Leo DiCaprio got dumped. What does that tell you?

[–]Unerted 14 points15 points  (5 children)

I was on the same situation two months ago. GF of 1.5 years, my unicorn, reached out againt with her ex. They were "best friends" before me but I keep frame before entering the ltr about me nexting her if she kept contact (even tho i met her thanks to that dude). Same group of friends, a past together, and she had cheated on previous bf with him: no shit to have around. Long story short, i break up with her because of it plus we werent having as much sex as we used to, next thing i know, she's back with him. It hurts dude, it surely does. For myself it was my first time actually loving and commiting to someone, because i used to get bored with people really fast. The first month was hell, i feeled like a fucking purposeless bitch because i made her my purpose. Big mistake. Time heals everything, it sounds cliche but it is sooo true. Pick up a new hobby, lift harder than ever (i got my clavicle broken at the same time so only legs on the gim for me, but it works either way), and spend all the free time you have with friends. Period. We feel ya brother, learn to see it as a chance to learn, an experience, not as if you had lost something. (my english sucks i know, hope it help)

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Thanks, I really hope I do heal, I feel bad because we never got to do all the things we said we'd do

I go from crying to hating her

Hopefully tommorow I'll leave my room and actually go outside

[–]Unerted 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Take a whole week to feel bad or depressed, its ok and its normal. Hating is a strong emotion and you should aim to feel like she's dead to you, with the only feeling acceptable being nostalgia.

[–]dontbedenied 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The stages of grief are real...you have to grieve the ending of the relationship. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance...you'll go through them all.

[–]dontbedenied 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Same here...I get bored of women so fast, but my Ex was like a disease and the worst drug to get addicted to. Hurt like hell to leave her and I still feel fucked up but lifting and exercise, hanging out with friends, meeting new women helps immensely.

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With the place I live in, I can't meet new women until school starts in September, but I'll definitely be lifting harder

[–]shredzro 36 points37 points  (4 children)

First I want to say to every commenter so far: I appreciate your support to this guy.

Trp community is usually very negative but for now it isn't on this post.

You did good man. End it. Only thing I can say is don't text her. You probably will but I promise it isn't going to end well. Never does. Texting will only justify her actions in her head.

But I do want to say man, you did good. Don't take everything TRP says and only take what's necessary.

Seriously though you did good and keep it up.

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Yeah to everyone who commented, thank you, you guys have helped me so much

[–]luke_km 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Second this-don't talk to her. She threw you away and it's time for you to do the same.

It must hurt, but as others have said, she's replaceable. Take a few days to chill out and gather yourself together, then move on and find someone better.

[–]daxxipro 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My girl recently broke up with me and, god, I got to tell ya. As much as I wanted to stalk her social media and re-read our texts everyday - I feel so much better after deleting them.

I still have her number because we agreed to help each other in life-or-death situations but I defriended on facebook, tumblr, snapchat, deleted our text/FB message history. . . everything.

From someone who just did this all three days ago - you will feel a lot of weight off your shoulders.

You got this man.

[–]Ronin11A 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Trp community is usually very negative but for now it isn't on this post.

TRP isn't negative; we just have low tolerance for people who post questions that are already answered in the sidebar materials or whine.

OP, you absolutely made the right call. You can clearly see where her loyalty truly was, and the best thing you can do is get someone like that out of your life and replace her with something better.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (5 children)

Dude, you did the right thing. Suffer the pain, learn from it and move on. If the situation ever arises again with another woman, simply flip the script to prove your point. Reverse the roles. Most sane, half intelligent women would see your point

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 19 points20 points  (4 children)

She told me that I was insecure when I told her to imagine if the roles were reversed when I was arguing with her, she said she wouldn't do anything with him and that people can change

Fucking bullshit, I hope he cheats on her again

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Never underestimate a woman's capacity to lie to herself.

You did yourself a favour getting the fuck out

[–]dontbedenied 8 points9 points  (2 children)

"You don't trust me?" Any woman who says this is a worthless whore. Let her rot in the hell of whatever relationship she gets herself into.

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Why do they say that, Idk who trusts people who want to hang out with their ex, it's such a valid reason to not trust someone

[–]dontbedenied 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a manipulative question used to belittle and shame the partner. Only a untrustworthy and manipulative person would ask this question.

I've had two LTRs, both of which were shitty and both of them asked me this question. My first Ex asked me this right before she went to hang out with a couple who had previously asked her to have a threesome with them. I told her I'd go with her to hang out with them and she responded with "Don't you trust me?" Of course I said "Yes" because I was so fucking weak. I have no idea if she cheated on me that night or any other night, but I just assume she cheated at some point.

The second time, with my most recent Ex, she had just got done gushing about a relationship she'd had with a married man, immediately prior to our relationship. In the course of that conversation she casually dropped that nobody can guarantee they won't cheat on their partner. I then told her I couldn't be with her anymore.

"You don't trust me?" "No, I don't." "But I spend almost all my free time with you!"

A meltdown proceeded and I took her back the next day (big mistake).

But you get the picture. It sucks that we have wound up with low value women like this, but man, at least we got out before it got any worse. Especially you, you ended it as soon as shit hit the fan. I wish I had been strong enough to say no to my Ex when she came crawling back. Don't make the same mistake I did and prolong your misery.

[–]OfficerWade 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"Let it burn" - Usher

[–]TRP_MushaShugyo 7 points8 points  (2 children)

You have to get RUINED by a girl for the inner Alpha to come out. But it is the worst pain you've ever felt in your life, I know. It will pass and you will emerge a righteous Man, trust me, it took me a long time but I'm finally feeling really strong and powerful.

Man cannot change himself without pain for he is both the marble and the sculptor.

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Fuck yeah dude, this hurts so bad, but I'm sure I'll become a lot stronger after this

[–]TRP_MushaShugyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah dude, read Corey Wayne's book and look up his videos as supplements. Also, lift. And good job for not texting her. It's true that the best way to learn is to touch that hot stove. It may take a longass time but you really will be stronger in the long run. Also watch Jordan Peterson's interviews on the Joe Rogan podcast on youtube. And watch all of Black Phillip on youtube.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I haven't texted her at all

[–]Daboyry 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Breakups build bodybuilders." Don't squander away the pain that you feel, use it! The world is your oyster, go out and claim your pearl

[–]m0neyg00d 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How old are you, 17? No worries bro. You haven't even finished puberty. You will only develop a higher SMV.

Want revenge? Do great in life. Get into the career you want by forming good habits. I always found it easiest to change habits after big changes such as breakups. And these habits you can form for life. Gym now can pay dividends life wise, not only muscle wise.

[–]empatheticapathetic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It'll take time, just go through the shit and read the sidebar, it'll hurt but it won't happen again if you really manage to take it in during this vulnerable time.

[–]TRP_Lee_zard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its not a coincidence you said its your first relationship - hard as it might be to believe this, more will come and in bigger numbers. Relationship is a side quest, dont mistake it as main!

[–]GreenPiller 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Glad you didn't fall for her bullshit

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's crazy how manipulative they can get

[–]dontbedenied 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to chime in and say you absolutely made the right call. Do NOT take her back if/when she comes crawling back. I took my Ex back after dumping her and it was a horrible mistake. Improve on how to identify a girl for an LTR, if that's what you want. Look back on beta behavior and try to improve on that. Again, congrats on leaving that girl. It's not easy.

[–]mrHappyPotatoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome to the red pill.

[–]Helpcalculus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As soon as you start flirting with other girls and she sees your SMV go up, she will come crawling back to you saying she made a huge mistake. Don't take her back.

[–]RedditinToronto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the mistake all guys (I've made it too) make at some point. They think they. Ant find a girl 'as good' and this prevents them from making very logical decisions. Kudos to you for being man enough to let her go. If you got her, trust me you can only do better! Let's assume for arguments sake that you can't do better and she was an 8. You can atleast get a 7 who doesn't want to jump on her ex's cock. Who wants that kind of stress?!! Go lift. Get that dream job. Buy clothes that make you look good. Women will be throwing themselves at you. This may take a year or two or three but trust me you will look back at this chick and thank your lucky stars you dumped her. Don't ever answer her calls. Make sure she's off all your social media. Don't even look her up no matter what the temptation. You're moving up and only up brah! I get so much vag these days it's crazy and thinking back to when an ex left me and I thought she was super hot and I wouldn't be able to do better, I just smile and have this shit eating grin!

[–]Carbone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What was she giving you more than any other girl could give you ?

[–]SlyAM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been through it. She didn't cheat on me, but she became distant and couldn't even tell me she loved me by the end (she might of been cheating but idk for sure). I was a needy bitch and was always apologizing for shit that I shouldn't of been. It hurt so much at first, had to leave school because I just kept breaking down in class and balling. It hurt for months, but now I'm over it. Yes some days I still miss the fuck out of her, but I remind myself she was a bad girlfriend most of the time (used me for drugs). "Love" makes you forget all the bad moments and only remember the good ones.

What you need to do now is go out and be with some bros. That was the number one thing that helped me through the break up. One of my buddy's even stopped me from calling her when I was very high and messed up. He told me to just let her go, it's done. Never confined in a women, because that is what bros are for.

Remember no contact, no matter how hard it hurts you. Take it out in the gym, pick up a new hobby or focus on a current hobby. Focus on yourself for now, and when you are ready go out and meet other women. You're going to be fine brother, I'm glad you didn't stay with her. If you didn't have the red pill you would've, and it would of been a sad situation for you when found out.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

[–]could-of-bot 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's either would HAVE or would'VE, but never would OF.

See Grammar Errors for more information.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you bot today you have taught me a valuable lesson

[–]Colt42O 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You did the right thing. Never talk to this girl again, she will try to get in your head and manipulate you if remain in contact. Go through the pain you are feeling and move forward in life without her.

[–]FlyingSexistPig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You get one victim puke. Everyone gets one. It hurts, and you use that hurt to go to the gym and start lifting.

All of the things you've been told about how women think and what they value are a lie. Women act and think in the moment.

[–]SirAttackHelicopter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IT takes a great deal of personal integrity to do this. Self worth is more valuable to everyone than arm candy. You will find another girl who will treat you better.

[–]eccentricrealist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes the path to righteousness is riddled with pain. You took the right choice. Chin up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let it all out, buddy. But don't ever go back to her, no matter how much th urge to do so is.

Also, regarding the ''won't be able to get another girl ever again" thing: yo got a girl once already which means you can do it again. Trust me, life is more than some bitch who doesn't give a fuck about you. The chances of us being born alone are fucking incredible and yet here we are. Who gives a shit if one girl broke up with you. Life has so many other things to offer.

[–]ECoast_Man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many great men have fallen because the sense of, "but I'll never be able to do better than her" has caused uberpussification and betafication of them. I've done it myself in the past, and many bros have mine have done the same. The "she's the best I'll ever do" is a real weakness for many men.

Good for you on avoiding it. Time heals all wounds, but other pussy will heal it faster.

[–]wheresMYsteakAt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and I'm quite the loser tbh

If you really said goodbye and ghosted you aren't a loser, you are doing better then 80% of the guys out there. Stop being a fag, I know it hurts but of coarse you'll find a better one - are you kidding me?

[–]ratthing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You did good. Don't EVER go back and forget about her as best as you can. Take care of yourself, lift, and adopt a mindset of abundance.

This is something I wish I would have known when I was your age.

[–]Thizzlebot 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Good news for you, you can move on and still fuck her later because she apparently loves getting dick from her exes lol

[–]Wedontbelieveyourlie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck that I'm not going back to my exes at all

[–]asktrpanon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ditto to what other comments said. And hell, think about the ex she's hanging with. She just rode someone else's dick (yours) for however long and now he's still seeing her. Be glad you aren't him, keep moving forward.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welcome aboard. If your experience is anything like mine it will be incredibly painful and amazingly rewarding. You'll lose plenty of the dreams you once held dear but you'll gain the ability to operate within the real world.

[–]Ninokun -1 points0 points  (0 children)

first u said u broke up, then u said she broke up, get ahold of urself