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Someone in this sub said "you'll know when she wants to branch swing/wants to dump you", so my question, what are some telltale signs that she is gonna do it? (self.asktrp)

submitted by TryhardPantiesON

What signs should i be looking for?


[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 144 points145 points  (25 children)

  • Sex frequency drops
  • She becomes less available
  • Change in activity patterns (ie goes out more when she didn't used to)
  • Sudden renewed interest in her physical appearance
  • Starts talking about some new guy

Etc. Trust your gut.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor 51 points52 points  (16 children)

Sex frequency drops

Or the opposite. If it cranks up with no visible explanation, it's because someone else is sexualizing her.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 30 points31 points  (1 child)

True. Bradley from Sublime: "Who taught you those new tricks...? Damn I shouldn't start that talk..."

[–]Progrest 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"but life is one big question when you're staring at the clock!"

[–]Zanford 25 points26 points  (5 children)

Also there's a stereotype (which makes ev-psych sense) that if she got knocked up by someone else she might renew sex with her LTR (and discourage condom use etc.) to try to later convince him he's the father

[–]TryhardPantiesON[S] 15 points16 points  (4 children)

That's some food for thought. If you have been LTR for a while and starts nagging to stop using condom, that's just more reason to use condoms.

[–]Zanford 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Relatedly, basic game theory suggests that marrying a chick should make her MORE likely to cheat, since it makes the guy easier to cuckold. In many jurisdictions, husband is the 'father' by default for child support obligation purposes, and the burden of proof is against him to get out of it (you've probably seen some news articles where he proved he was not the father and STILL had to pay child support cuz 'a bond had been formed' or 'best interests of the child' or whatever feelz-phrase courts like to use) Plus alimony in any case. If she cheats, gets caught, and dumped, she gets rewarded with alimony money. Marrying a chick = creating a gigantic payday for her if you split. Which under basic game theory suggests she would be more likely to want to split (and/or treat you worse and make you put up with more since you have more incentive to NOT split)

[–]TryhardPantiesON[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Would you say, never putting up with a woman's bullshit since the beggining of the relationship, would give her a sense of insecurity, make her uneasy to pull some stupid bullshit on him? After all she knows that the man is not to mess around with.

[–]Zanford 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Definitely. The earlier you establish a desired frame, the better. Goes for pretty much any aspect of the relationship frame - you not taking BS/nagging, an agreement that you can sleep with other women but she will be faithful to you, an understanding that swallowing and anal are part of being with you (girls are very malleable, and mirror a lot, so if you establish a certain sexual frame early on that will become what genuinely turns her on), etc.

It's much much harder to make a girl unlearn bad behaviors than to set the right behaviors from the beginning. And it's much harder to be seen as alpha/sexy/whatever if you were beta with her before. That's why TRP advice on bad relationships and getting out of the friendzone is usually 'it's easier to just find a new chick and start a new relationship than to fix the old one'. Sad but true.

[–]TrenGod37 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with this

[–]McVaghunter -5 points-4 points  (6 children)

I wouldn't mind if an orbiter is validating my girl if I get to harvest the goods

[–]MusicSports 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Her orbiters are asexual to her. That's why creepy guys exist. If someone is making her feel sexual she wants to have sex with them.

[–]McVaghunter 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Oh wait I forgot, people here are still into commitment, monogamy and taking LTRs seriously, and will have their feelings hurt if their LTRs cheat on them.
You're supposed to be a couple steps ahead by always cheating your LTRs. Never stop spinning plates. If a beta little shit is making my girl horny and she comes back to fuck ME and not him then it doesn't matter, had sex. It's just my turn!

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This attitude is the result of abundance. Almost all of the boys here still have women on a pedestal.

[–]Xeydo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like you attitude.

[–]nastynickdr 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Also: suddenly develop new insterests/hobbies

My ex suddenly become interested in running, became a buddhist and listening to surf music. Guess who was a marathonist, buddhist and playing in a surf music band.

Remember women mirror the man she is "in love" with, thats part of entering his frame

[–]Armydude19 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Trust drake. Why she wearing less and going out more? She probably getting nasty with someone else.

[–]Peter_B_Long 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Just noticed this with my first plate. She went on vacation and came back tofu. Her texting is bratty, her kisses are just small pecks to my lips, and she's suddenly so busy. Sorry hun I know better thanks to TRP. First plate was fun while it lasted, but I'm okay letting it fall because I know there's more to come. Next!

[–]ther0ach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice. I like this ideology

[–]AfterC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And one of the biggest ones, for the social media generation:

You start getting R-bombed by your girl! Starts reading and not replying to your shit. If you get that, start finding more hoes ASAP.

[–]Solidgame 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Spot fucking on

[–]chiefbl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sudden renewed interest in her physical appearance

Can confirm. Ex-ltr (pre-trp) suddenly went to buy more elegant dresses and she was crazy about this new hot red lipstick. Should have known better. Less than a month later, got my ass dumped.

[–]Walkebe 73 points74 points  (10 children)

  1. More GNO/hanging out with the girls
  2. You'll hear claims that she's a different person than when she met you. Typically, she was young, naïve, or full of self doubt. Now she claims some sort of positive transformation occasioned by some sort of personal epiphany. Basic GURL PWR! Stuff.
  3. She'll begin to hangout more with her girlfriends, in particular, the less wholesome ones. The ones that like to PARTAY! and GNO all the time. She'll begin to talk about what these girls think about you: you're "emotionally abusive", "take her for granted", "She can do better." Later, these same girls will become buzzards to the dying corpse that is your relationship. They will make it a point to be around you at the end to rub the trappings of the failing relationship right in your face. They will make snide remarks and glare at you. They'll smirk as they take your LTR under her wing for another GNO.
  4. Out of the blue, she will begin, with increased frequency, to point out, in an almost pragmatic, cold way your actual or perceived flaws. You will hear how you "have nothing in common." She'll tell you, "I'm not happy."
  5. Boundaries you have set in the relationship she would never have dreamed approaching, she begins to cross, without any semblance of guilt or remorse. You realize you are losing control, power, or whatever you want to call it.
  6. You lose her emotionally. You might not recognize it the first time, but I've seen it three times in LTRs, so it's obvious to me. Basically, it's like a candle is puffed out on her emotionally. Your corrective behavior may have use to draw emotion out of her, even at times to the point of tears, but now she has completely withdrawn from you emotionally.

Those are the ones that come to mind for me.

[–]notmyusualreddit 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If I didn't hate reddit corp I would buy gold for this comment. Every point is spot on exactly what you will experience even if you've been with someone for years and think they're set in their ways and the relationship dynamic.

[–]TryhardPantiesON[S] 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Jesus that's a lot of insight.

She'll begin to talk about what these girls think about you: you're "emotionally abusive", "take her for granted", "She can do better."

What do you recommend in this case? Act indiferent/stoic, and apply dread? How should one approach this behavior oh hers when you want to regain control of the relationship?

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor 44 points45 points  (0 children)

It's over at that point. She has poisoned the well.

[–]TheSupr3m3Justic3 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Girlfriend or wife? And how long have yall been together?

[–]TryhardPantiesON[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Just asking out of curiosity, not in a relationship right now.

[–]Merwebb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Papi at that point is over. Your turn has ended with her and now you get to find another chick.

[–]Thizzlebot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Number 3 is too real

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (6 children)

Shielding of phone. Increased usage if possible.

Doesn't care where you are going/not even a hint of jealousy if you're going out with your mates for example.

Is suddenly in a better mood.

Posting more pics of "just her" on social media. And possibly more suggestive ones at that.

Lack of interest in sex.

Plain old less contact with you in all manner of ways.

Started to go to the gym (more) and taking pride in her appearance.

Obviously this is like building a case for the prosecution. One or a couple of the above could not alone secure a guilty verdict.

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (4 children)

    No that alone sounds like the inevitable fading of the honeymoon period.

    [–]mountainbiker178 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    More info please.

    Edit. I can Google end of honeymoon articles, but they all seem to talk about the importance of communication, sharing feelings, and other BP crap. Just looking for more RP truth on this topic.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    No red pill needed really. Honeymoon period lasts 3-4 months maybe longer.

    [–]RPStone 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    If you're red pill there is no honeymoon period for either of you. Just a period of months early on where she competes for your attention and commitment amongst your other plates.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So a honeymoon period at least from her POV?

    [–]omega_dawg93 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    don't worry about identifying HER signs... just make sure you are giving her YOUR signs.

    pull back your TAR (time, attention, resources).

    focus more on yourself. workout harder, hang with the fellas a little longer. make YOU your priority.

    visualize her as a plate and focus on your plates. i hope you have some plates. if not, you're doing it wrong.

    last, she will smell different. lots of people ignore this sign, but a woman who is receiving from another man (and you) will have a different smell. if you live with her, and the first thing she does upon getting home is go straight to the shower, she knows... and wants to keep it from you. women pay a LOT more attention to smell than men do. from cologne to perfume to 'it smells different when we have sex' all comes into play.

    [–]Slolum 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    I can tell you my personal experience because I've seen most of these signs. I was in a LTR. We had a kid too young (accident). She put off finishing college to take care of the kid. I got a job and provided. Relationship went through ups and downs but always seemed solid to me (this was before I took the red pill.)

    She finishes college and at first is working part time. She keeps talking about marriage and how much she loved me and what a great dad I was. Then she gets her first full time job and everything changes.

    She makes new friends and work. She wants to go out all the time with these new friends, drinking at local bars. She starts spending less time with me and I'm hanging out with my daughter a lot on my own. Foolishly, I tell her I'll watch the kid so she can go out more since she made the sacrifice of delaying her degree and missed a lot of "going out" time.

    The more she goes out the worse things get. She turns off read receipts for her text messages. Sex decreases. She's posting a lot of selfies without me or my daughter in them. I find out that one of the work friends she frequently goes out with is in the midst of a divorce. Even at the time I knew that was a bad thing.

    Then one day she hits me with "I think we should take a break. Just some time apart. I don't know who I am without you and I need to find myself." I respond that taking a break is kind of a bullshit concept and ask whether we're seeing other people. She tells me that I am free to see other people, in fact she encourages it!, but that she has no interest in other men. I say that sounds more like a break up and she says "you're right, we're breaking up but maybe we'll get back together."

    I'm pissed and upset and I get on Tinder and Bumble. Then I see she has a Bumble account. I confront her about it and she says she made it as a joke but hasn't used it and won't be seeing other men. I know that this is bullshit.

    She goes on a trip for work. Her parents watch the kid. I go to a local bar, pick up the bar tender, and fuck her that same night.

    When my xLTR comes back she starts telling me how she went out with her friends and all these guys were hitting on her, to which I responded "cool, I fucked someone else." She breaks down in tears and the relationship is permanently over.

    I've never felt so satisfied.

    It was around this time I first took the Red Pill and my actions felt validated. I still have a great relationship with my kid. And over the next 6 months I fucked a dozen gorgeous women. I'm now back in a LTR which seems great for now, but my eyes are open.

    [–]quicklogaccount 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Why are you guys giving OP the tell aways of cheaters?

    She WANTS to swing/dump. She's there because attraction has lowered too much and she's contemplating a future without you. You should be paying attention to signs of decreased attraction:

    • Less sex isn't a given here, but worse sex probably is;
    • Increased demands on you, she wants you to make up for something (she doesn't know exactly what) by offering her more, being more of a doormat;

    To efforts to detach and keep you out of her life and to "water testing" of your reaction towards the break up (she doesn't want to feel like the bad guy).

    Here are some concrete signs.

    • She's displeased with you, nothing you do is good enough. She becomes REALLY naggy and whiny (increasing demands on you), if you fail the fault is on you;
    • She'll want to talk about the relationship and your behavior and will let you know that she wants further emotional investment of your side, usually with the words "care more" or "participate more" (increasing demands on you, more comfort to make up for less attraction), she'll want to control you;
    • She'll test the waters for a break or a break up keeping plausible deniability, things like "I want to make sure we're going somewhere, that we're not trying in vain" (if you say you might agree she'll smile, you'll have a happy break up and she'll enjoy the evening single with her whorish friends looking for new men);
    • Her hamster is working towards detaching so she begins to nag and dislike whatever she feels that bonds you. This is one is interesting because if she has attraction and bonding well split she might not be averse to fuck you, but she'll certainly react against stuff like spending the whole night together, public demonstrations of affection and alike. She wants to detach.

    [–]DJCheeky 29 points30 points  (2 children)

    Her demeanor changes in subtle ways we will want to excuse as her being stressed.

    Her phone that she used to show you everything on and gave you the password to is with her 100% of the time, even in the toilet. Even if she has multiple phones.

    The people she's messaging will suddenly be private. She will physically turn the face of the phone away from you if you come by or minimise the app.

    She will use self destructing message applications like telegram to hide who she has been sexting.

    She will suddenly work out more and buy better clothes even though she rarely did that or hated it previously.

    She will start to push your buttons on purpose. Nothing you do is right when previously, you could do no wrong. Replying logically fails the test questions she will throw at you. Mirroring her behaviour to show her the pettiness of the action stops it, but fails the test.

    She will start to check again for fitness of purpose. Shit test. Are you beta? Are you optimally Alpha compared to this guy I can / am fucking?

    Used to fuck while showering? Now she hates it for some lame reason. Used to do it cowgirl? Now you're just being lazy because she had to do work.

    She might come back if you go nuclear, but you and I know what has to be done. I say all this with a heavy heart because it is happening to me and my girl right now. 5 years down the drain. AWALT.

    Edit: another big sign that I forgot to mention is that there will be actual disrespect. Like straight dissing you. Not a shit test. That and trickle truth - 'ranting to a close guy friend'. After ghosting this girl she's been going mad, sending a million texts and emails to me, trying to contact me any way possible, even trying my mom. She still hasn't realised I know and thinks it's over stupid shit.

    [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    Women are never an investment. Either she's providing value in your life or she hits the fucking bricks. There's an ocean of women that fuck and suck and make sandwiches. Dump that bitch yesterday.

    [–]Phaz30n3 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    XLTR of 4 years did all this B.S. to me and then some!! I was to "blue" to see it at the time, but now it was so obvious!

    [–]BMWisLIFE 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Man me too. Should have departed the moment I noticed it ahah, would never let that happen to me again

    [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    She starts to drop hints she's going to do it.

    Learn to know what trickle truth looks like.

    Says things like "what would happen if..." or "would you still be friends with me if...." and "there's this guy at school/work/whatever, I hate him but...".

    Basically trying to get you to be a beta before she jumps, to make it easier for her to jump.

    But ultimately - just assume she's going to. You don't need advance warning, you always have a plan B and a plan C in place. It's only really ego that means you needs to know in advance, assuming you have your life in order so that you are mostly immune to her hypergamy.

    [–]MartinMcFlyy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    From experience increased Exercise is a BLATANT sign. Unless she was always into working out.

    "She's not trying to look better for you, she trying to look better for the next man she'll be fucking." - Rollo Tomassi

    [–]RedDespair 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Something that most overlook:

    Shit tests become more frequent

    [–]SovereignSoul76 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Way less sex....or way more sex.

    Not caring what you do....or starts always accusing you of cheating.

    Starts being really nice to you....or starts being really nasty to you.

    Any single sudden change of personality is a small red flag. Multiple changes: big red flag. Multiple changes and cell phone shadiness: WE HAVE A WINNER!

    [–]Kennen1Trick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    And projection. She says she thinks you're texting/talking to others, she probably is.

    She accuses you of cheating, she's projecting her own guilt on you.

    She accuses you of lying, she's not telling the whole truth.

    And my favorite, if she is being shady about random numbers on her phone, she's got herself a side dude.

    [–]Deep_freeze202 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    If you don't LTR women then you don't have to worry about it, spin plates and if one breaks it doesn't matter because you have spares.

    [–]-Wojo- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Her actions! Never her words

    She starts going to the gym more, she wears clothes that show off more tits and ass, sleeps on the couch instead of in your bed.

    [–]GreenPiller 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Her tone of voice changes. She starts talking to you as if you were a nuisance.

    [–]Endorsed Contributorstickfiguresk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    In addition to the great insight already posted here, a more general, more gut sensitive sign is when she gets the audacity to cross boundaries shes never tested before, I.e. talking back, not responding to texts, or talking shit--general disrespect/shit tests that would get prospects ghosted.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Starts acting shady with her phone, hiding screen and such

    [–]batfish55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Among other suggestions, she'll start picking more fights. Or you'll suddenly just find yourself fighting with her and not be sure how it even started.

    [–]Dio_Brando_Joestar 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I was banging my ex a few months ago and she mentions " a friend ".

    I predicted branch swinging and it happened. Funny thing is, the guy looks like a beta. She swung from an alpha to a beta. All it took was from me to Say I fucked someone else and she swung right away. Window of opportunity.

    [–]zuhbooze 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Was she at the wall and looking for security?

    Had an LTR start doubting my commitment, I noticed signs of branch swinging (after my desperation stage I'll add) then I mentioned the possibility of other women in my life.

    She read a message I sent to a buddy saying, "I'll be back later, pussy on the way." That was the last time I was inside her throat.

    [–]frendo223 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    always lol at this shit. what don't some of you get that if you're in a ltr you're the beta giving your time enegry and attention to this one girl while she bangs chads in ONS? branch swinging is just going to another beta we get her freak sex in 10 minutes 20 mins and hour then we move on to the next hoe no relations lol all while she plays good girl for you

    honestly what makes some of you not able to comprehend this? this is the top post.. and we even have like 3 "mods" making crazy blue pilled comments

    trp has been completely overan by low smv betas wanting to have an ltr with these hoes can someone link me a sub or place where being chad is oromoted and not the beta in the ltr?

    [–]imn0tg00d 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    I'm a long time contributor and I got banned for saying that a guy is weak for checking his plate's phone for evidence of other guys. Who fucking cares if a plate is fucking someone else, she isn't yours, it's just your turn. I can't get the ban overturned, I've messaged 3 mods now.

    [–]TryhardPantiesON[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Let me guess, /r/relationships or /r/relationships_advice , which was it?

    [–]imn0tg00d 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    No, it was on trp!!!